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First, my thoughts. This is less a guide and more an article, but w/e. It's an awesome article and is quite well written but I kinda don't know what it's really getting at, the point it's trying to make. Please don't feel that I'm in any way diminishing the work you've done but I've taken the trouble to kind of proof read it and made a few connections. I also agree with NeverGG in that the inclusion of the ladies at the end really cheapens the guide and makes it a lot harder to take seriously. That said the blonde chick in the blue body suit is HOLY SHIT WTF smoking hot.
A few corrections (imo)
Section 3
In this sentence:
"But even these boundaries are starting to break, with sports such as darts, poker and chess being generally accepted as sports."
It might be better to change the first "sports" to "games", as it's kind of redundant to say these sports are being generally accepted as sports
Also, this paragraph is worded kind of weirdly, you contradict yourself by saying athleticism is not needed, but then go on to say that it is:
"Even though e-Sports do not require a certain state of physical athleticism, still a specific type of physical endurance is needed. To build up more stamina, the high ranked professional gamers can often be found in the gym. Next to that, hand-eye coordination and fast mouse and/or keyboard movement are important factors which can drastically change the outcome of a match."
Doesn't stamina and hand-eye coordination count as physical athleticism? It's still a way of moving and controlling your body.
In the paragraph after the one just mentioned you mention your opinion, in general aren't academic papers supposed to leave the writer's opinion out? And even if you were to keep it I'd word the first sentence like so:
"In my opinion a game is considered a sport etc."
The paragraph after that has a bit of a grammar error:
"When e-Sports will start to get more media attention this will process will go through an enormous boost."
Also in that paragraph golf seems a bit misplaced next to darts and poker, golf is massive, and has been for many years.
Section 4
For this sentence I'd say "one of the central elements" but this one's up to you, something about the sentence just seems odd:
"This game has since remained the central element in western e-Sports events. "
Maybe this one should be televised or televising:
"These celebrities could be seen daily on Ongamenet and MBC Game, two South-Korean TV-channels devoted to televise StarCraft matches."
Maybe THE same, instead of A same, again, this one's up to you:
"it is slowly experiencing a same sort of shift"
Should be starleagues imo:
"no other game than StarCraft has ever reached the success of the Starleague in Korea"
Dunno what the go with this sentence is, but it needs a look at:
"By enforcing the players to compete on new maps they are forced to use different play styles which causes affects the viewing of the e-Sport on longer term."
I'd add a comma after korea, but I am a bit comma crazy sometimes...
"While Korean culture itself has had various influences to prolong and keep its success, in Korea StarCraft has eclipsed all other e-Sports."
Section 5
I'd go for young people, instead of children here:
"StarCraft is played mainly by children from the age of 10 to 25"
Section 6
The expression "mass public" is kinda weird, maybe just "the public" or "the masses", also I would say "business would" instead of "businesses will":
"This automatically would make the whole e-Sports industry easier to understand and accept for the mass public and perhaps it would result in to a hype in which a lot of businesses will invest into the electronic sports market."
Section 7
This should be "could be contributing":
As we concluded out of earlier research in this report, in order to make e-Sports more acceptable and understandable in the western society there are various external factors that could contributing to this cause.
I'd say "earlier discussed game StarCraft" here:
"A lot of key elements that a game should have can be found back in the earlier discussed StarCraft."
In the same paragraph the following sentence needs a lot of corrections imo:
"The depth of the game allows the player to combine the strategic brilliance and creativity of a chess player with high accuracy and mouse control which can impress the spectators in the same way as Roger Federer pleases his fans by showing his close to flawless tennis performances."
Same paragraph:
"The game's strategies can be so complex that commentators are used to explain to the average spectator what exactly is going on."
Don't really agree with the following sentence, but that's not a correction :D
"After all, in today’s sports it is all about the spectator, rather than the competitors."
Section 8
Few corrections here:
"Sponsorships are a lot more than just writing out a couple of cheques"
One correction here:
"Their support allows for better conditions for the athletes and better services for the spectators, both on scene aswell as at home."
"TV and broadcasting times have come to rule today's sport events."
"These exact same marketing mechanics will help e-Sports develop itself."
"For a lot of companies, engaging in any kind of sponsorship in the e-Sports business is still seen as risky."
Section 9
In this sentence the comma is unnecessary:
"e-Sports within the western society, are still a good distance away from being accepted as a real sport."
"Imagining the same sort of evolution in western culture seems to be an unrealistic view."
This sentence needs a few corrections too:
"But the industry is still very young and in it's early stage these developments as well seem to be rather far away for any short term milestones to be passed."
The last comma in this sentence is unnecessary:
"Our sense of belonging to social groups, which extend beyond the boundaries of a specific place, is often underestimated."
"Even though for the wider public it is hard to understand the new emerging ways of social interaction, it is important to take in account that these do shape a new culture within the new generation."
"This could perhaps prevent it from being an adequate medium."
"The consumption of this new medium can only be understood if the videogame is closely examined by it's spectator."
PHEW, that took for fucking ever!
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On June 16 2009 13:06 nataziel wrote:
First, my thoughts. This is less a guide and more an article, but w/e. It's an awesome article and is quite well written but I kinda don't know what it's really getting at, the point it's trying to make. Please don't feel that I'm in any way diminishing the work you've done but I've taken the trouble to kind of proof read it and made a few connections. I also agree with NeverGG in that the inclusion of the ladies at the end really cheapens the guide and makes it a lot harder to take seriously. That said the blonde chick in the blue body suit is HOLY SHIT WTF smoking hot.
A few corrections (imo)
Section 3
In this sentence:
"But even these boundaries are starting to break, with sports such as darts, poker and chess being generally accepted as sports."
It might be better to change the first "sports" to "games", as it's kind of redundant to say these sports are being generally accepted as sports
Also, this paragraph is worded kind of weirdly, you contradict yourself by saying athleticism is not needed, but then go on to say that it is:
"Even though e-Sports do not require a certain state of physical athleticism, still a specific type of physical endurance is needed. To build up more stamina, the high ranked professional gamers can often be found in the gym. Next to that, hand-eye coordination and fast mouse and/or keyboard movement are important factors which can drastically change the outcome of a match."
Doesn't stamina and hand-eye coordination count as physical athleticism? It's still a way of moving and controlling your body.
In the paragraph after the one just mentioned you mention your opinion, in general aren't academic papers supposed to leave the writer's opinion out? And even if you were to keep it I'd word the first sentence like so:
"In my opinion a game is considered a sport etc."
The paragraph after that has a bit of a grammar error:
"When e-Sports will start to get more media attention this will process will go through an enormous boost."
Also in that paragraph golf seems a bit misplaced next to darts and poker, golf is massive, and has been for many years.
Section 4
For this sentence I'd say "one of the central elements" but this one's up to you, something about the sentence just seems odd:
"This game has since remained the central element in western e-Sports events. "
Maybe this one should be televised or televising:
"These celebrities could be seen daily on Ongamenet and MBC Game, two South-Korean TV-channels devoted to televise StarCraft matches."
Maybe THE same, instead of A same, again, this one's up to you:
"it is slowly experiencing a same sort of shift"
Should be starleagues imo:
"no other game than StarCraft has ever reached the success of the Starleague in Korea"
Dunno what the go with this sentence is, but it needs a look at:
"By enforcing the players to compete on new maps they are forced to use different play styles which causes affects the viewing of the e-Sport on longer term."
I'd add a comma after korea, but I am a bit comma crazy sometimes...
"While Korean culture itself has had various influences to prolong and keep its success, in Korea StarCraft has eclipsed all other e-Sports."
Section 5
I'd go for young people, instead of children here:
"StarCraft is played mainly by children from the age of 10 to 25"
Section 6
The expression "mass public" is kinda weird, maybe just "the public" or "the masses", also I would say "business would" instead of "businesses will":
"This automatically would make the whole e-Sports industry easier to understand and accept for the mass public and perhaps it would result in to a hype in which a lot of businesses will invest into the electronic sports market."
Section 7
This should be "could be contributing":
As we concluded out of earlier research in this report, in order to make e-Sports more acceptable and understandable in the western society there are various external factors that could contributing to this cause.
I'd say "earlier discussed game StarCraft" here:
"A lot of key elements that a game should have can be found back in the earlier discussed StarCraft."
In the same paragraph the following sentence needs a lot of corrections imo:
"The depth of the game allows the player to combine the strategic brilliance and creativity of a chess player with high accuracy and mouse control which can impress the spectators in the same way as Roger Federer pleases his fans by showing his close to flawless tennis performances."
Same paragraph:
"The game's strategies can be so complex that commentators are used to explain to the average spectator what exactly is going on."
Don't really agree with the following sentence, but that's not a correction :D
"After all, in today’s sports it is all about the spectator, rather than the competitors."
Section 8
Few corrections here:
"Sponsorships are a lot more than just writing out a couple of cheques"
One correction here:
"Their support allows for better conditions for the athletes and better services for the spectators, both on scene aswell as at home."
"TV and broadcasting times have come to rule today's sport events."
"These exact same marketing mechanics will help e-Sports develop itself."
"For a lot of companies, engaging in any kind of sponsorship in the e-Sports business is still seen as risky."
Section 9
In this sentence the comma is unnecessary:
"e-Sports within the western society, are still a good distance away from being accepted as a real sport."
"Imagining the same sort of evolution in western culture seems to be an unrealistic view."
This sentence needs a few corrections too:
"But the industry is still very young and in it's early stage these developments as well seem to be rather far away for any short term milestones to be passed."
The last comma in this sentence is unnecessary:
"Our sense of belonging to social groups, which extend beyond the boundaries of a specific place, is often underestimated."
"Even though for the wider public it is hard to understand the new emerging ways of social interaction, it is important to take in account that these do shape a new culture within the new generation."
"This could perhaps prevent it from being an adequate medium."
"The consumption of this new medium can only be understood if the videogame is closely examined by it's spectator."
PHEW, that took for fucking ever!
Wow nataziel, thanks for all of that! I certainly don't take it in a diminishing way.. I didn't have enough time to finish the guide and never proof read it myself. I'm going to edit your corrections in my .doc and edit it more later on to finish it. Then when it's all done I'll edit the guide. 
Your feedback is really appreciated! thanks for helping me make this a better piece
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Katowice25012 Posts
Good work! I agree with all the conclusions, but I want to nit pick a few things.
Saying e-spotrs date back to the 1990s is somewhere between misleading and flat out wrong. Large competitive leagues and tournaments have existed since the days of arcade machines, there is really only about a 10 year period where it didn't exist (between the crash in the 80s and when modem to modem play became usable and popular).
I also think it weakens the strength of your point somewhat by dedicating so much time to the "sport or not?" argument. Every game that isn't inside of the major sports has constant problems with this (chess and poker specifically, even golf and bowling occasionally do), and there isn't anything to be gained by trying to convince people who is and is not an athlete under whatever definition.
I'm also not convinced there is only one academic paper written on the subject. I remember digging up several published economics articles last year that detailed the growth of the industry in Korea as a function of the government funded internet infrastructure. Also grad students in social sciences will write about anything (I'll have to see if I can dig up what I found though, maybe I'm wrong on this one).
Very nice done as a whole.
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I enjoy reading your work but I defintely agree with the fact that this is an article not a guide.
I think I will translate it to spanish and share with some friends if you dont mind of course (and of course with a link to the original here.)
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On June 15 2009 12:56 NeverGG wrote:
You really cheapened this guide with the girl photos at the end. Otherwise it was a very good read.
I believe these girls really are a living part of the wcg event and community, and they often get neglected. We should really try and incorporate them in as many guides as possible so they will be accepted into TL and other forums as well.
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On June 25 2009 05:32 kawoq wrote:
I enjoy reading your work but I defintely agree with the fact that this is an article not a guide.
I think I will translate it to spanish and share with some friends if you dont mind of course (and of course with a link to the original here.)
There is an updated version of this article, I will post it in the near future 
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Hey dude, no problem! This really is a good article though, easily better than what I could write lol
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I think you sold FPSes short a bit, specifically CounterStrike (1.6 or Source). I'm not sure how much you follow CS, but it has just as large an international following, if not bigger, as non-Korean StarCraft. There is an easy spectator mode, because the people casting the game usually take a spectator spot in the server or re-stream from the HLTV feeds. Also general spectators can usually get in an HLTV slot in a league match. In that view, you can do multiple views - first person, 3rd person locked, 3rd person free, a free moving camera (similar to an obs in SC) and a map overview - while being able to scroll between each player. Also, even with a lot of luck, you or I could not go take down a top team like SK Gaming, just like you or I could not go take down IdrA in a series.
I'm not arguing that the South Korean StarCraft scene is the most successful eSports arena to date, I'm simply saying you definitely slighted FPS games (even Korea has a rapidly growing FPS scene - check out som SF Proleague matches, the one between MBC and STX's SC squads is quite funny).
Other than that little detail, I thought this was an excellent article. Like others said, not really a guide though.
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The limiting this with FPS's is the way you watch IMO, if you could break the screen up into like four elements it would be better IMO, one part a top down map, another a free roam 3d camera following the action, the other two 1st person player cams it would be heaps better. As it is it's kind of hard to get a full picture of what's going on in the game, and to do my approach you'd have to have four dedicated spectator computers and feed them all into one monitor...
That said, FPS's are a big part of eSports and that can't be denied, at the moment though they're just hard to watch from a spectator point of view.
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EPT
