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The Golden Compass (Movie Review/Spoilers)

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lugggy
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
450 Posts
December 10 2007 15:05 GMT
#1
I watched The Golden Compass last night, and I found it lacking. It felt like a bunch of recreations of good moments from other movies, pasted together rather poorly. That is, the acting and the effects were 100%, but the film did not achieve any interest.

The entire thing felt flat, except a couple of moments during the high point of the movie. None of the characters are introduced or developed at all any more than you would expect them to be in a trailer. I know it was intended for children, but if they are going to make a movie they can do a better job at making the story worth watching more than reading a curious george book.

It really felt like this to me. It reminds me of a badly made, armature, single player mod's plot. Like user-made campaigns for Starcraft. It's best moments are stolen from famous sayings and scenes from other movies.

+ Show Spoiler +
Oh look I'm a girl with an English accent. I'm kind of troubled because I don't want to be called a Lady and I steal stuff and lie. There's some groups of kids, and there's a school, and a Magisterium which is some kind of authority. And there's dust, mysterious stuff that has to do with other worlds.

Oh by the way we all have "demons" which is our soul, outside our bodies, except it's a talking animal, and if it gets hurt it hurts us too. Nothing more will be made of this throughout the film.

Oh look it's this ugly mean lady with a demon who is mean and ugly. But she makes me think she's cool so I go with her, then escape, then she tries to steal my compass which lets me know the truth about anything and I can use it because I'm the chosen one. These "rag-tag" people called the "gyptians" save my life and they are cool and everybody helps me go save the children, but then right after we save them the movie ends "to be continued" because this is a trilogy or something.

We win exciting fight!

The end.


And that's basically how the movie feels.
A little effort please, this isnt a forum for just posting every link on the internet.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32140 Posts
December 10 2007 15:06 GMT
#2
But it's polar bears fighting to the death while clad in armor AND NICOLE KIDMAN? I am disappointed.
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
lugggy
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
450 Posts
December 10 2007 15:10 GMT
#3
+ Show Spoiler +
The fight was lame. Heroic reformed drunkard usurped king polar bear, was losing or faking losing, then he hits the other bear Mike Tyson style and the other bear is dead. Then he's King of the bears, so then they run off and go save the children.

Nicole kidman, here's all she does in the movie:
There's a dinner scene where she is seen by the girl as rebellious, so the little girl agrees to go north with her.
Then they are in nicole kidman's house, and the girl finds out that nicole kidman is involved in stealing the kids. So she escapes, gets on the boat, hires the bear and airship, and so once she is sneaking around the facility with the stolen children, nicole kidman is walking around there because she's the boss. That's IT.


The whole movie could have been crammed into a half hour sitcom.
A little effort please, this isnt a forum for just posting every link on the internet.
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States44027 Posts
December 10 2007 15:42 GMT
#4
I absolutely loved it. It was very episodic but I liked it that way. They just did the book scene by scene and cut out all the nonsense, there was no bit of it where I felt bored. An obvious contrast would be The Fellowship of the Ring where you're sitting there thinking "this is very loyal to the book but why am I watching midgets steal turnips from a farmer". The effects were awesome (zomg witches), Lee was a cool as I'd imagined him from the book and Iorek was just orgasmic.
+ Show Spoiler +
When he runs to get his armour I'm just sitting there thinking "Those guys are so fucked right now :D" and then you have a few seconds of tension building and a fucking armoured bear bursts through the wall and roars. I almost came right then. That and in the final fight where instead of the expected standoff where Iorek would tell them to leave Lyra alone he just runs right at them without any hesitation. And the fight with Ragnar. When the jaw goes flying. To be honest whenever Iorek was on screen it was awesome

I felt they didn't waste any time with the early part of the film, it could have been very slow starting but wasn't. And everything looked awesome like the blade at Bolvangar and that crazy carriage engine. It was all so magical. Lord Asriel and Mrs Coulter were cast perfectly. Daniel Craig had the looks and the air of confidence and danger. Nicole Kidman looks beautiful and carried the twin natures of the character (powerful, assertive and very dangerous against mothering) very well. I especially loved her in the scene by the window when she slaps her own daemon and then nurtures it.

In my opinion this film could be very confusing if you have not read the books (wtf where have you been if you haven't). It's fast paced and skips a lot of character development and background stuff. You can also criticise it on a lot of technical grounds, the ending was pretty weak and from time to time Lyra's acting made me wince (though she's far better than the child actors in the first Harry Potter). However, as someone who loved the books, I sat there watching this wonderful mysterious world presented beautifully in front of me with the fascinating characters and armoured bears and daemons and couldn't have enjoyed it more.

As a standalone film, it's flawed. As a representation of a book I love it's wonderful.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
lugggy
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
450 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-12-10 15:46:15
December 10 2007 15:45 GMT
#5
Okay so we both agree, it sucks as a movie, but as an illustration to a book you already read, as porn for fans of some book, maybe it's gold.

Wasn't confusing, just flat. Very simplistic. As I described. You probably enjoyed it because the book has some depth, but the movie doesn't capture any of that and to top it all off, the film's timing sucks almost as much as Mummy Returns or something.
A little effort please, this isnt a forum for just posting every link on the internet.
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
December 10 2007 15:46 GMT
#6
i havent seen it yet but it looks amazing i loveed the whole his dark materials series read htem like 50505050 times OMG cant wait to watch it
screw u luggy eHEH :D
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States44027 Posts
December 10 2007 15:53 GMT
#7
On December 11 2007 00:45 lugggy wrote:
Okay so we both agree, it sucks as a movie, but as an illustration to a book you already read, as porn for fans of some book, maybe it's gold.

Wasn't confusing, just flat. Very simplistic. As I described. You probably enjoyed it because the book has some depth, but the movie doesn't capture any of that and to top it all off, the film's timing sucks almost as much as Mummy Returns or something.


Then read the series. They're perhaps my favourite books, although I first read them about 7 years ago. If you understand what's going on it's a fantastic film.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
lugggy
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
450 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-12-10 16:07:45
December 10 2007 16:05 GMT
#8
No, you listen. If they release a movie, it had better be worth watching for more people than bought the book version. The film fails. 1.5 of 5 stars.

This film had no depth to any of its elements, no story. It was one overly long full motion video. I felt like I was about to play a War3 level or something or go enter the next Diablo II act. Yes it's that bland. It was an incomplete film. Would have been better without any dialogue because that was the end result anyways.
A little effort please, this isnt a forum for just posting every link on the internet.
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States44027 Posts
December 10 2007 16:11 GMT
#9
I'm not defending it as a standalone film. I'm saying your life isn't complete unless you read His Dark Materials. And that if you watch that film after falling in love with His Dark Materials, which you will, it'll suddenly get good. This isn't an argument, it's advice. We're not disagreeing anywhere.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
JoxxOr
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Sweden1502 Posts
December 10 2007 16:11 GMT
#10
My comment of the movie can be found here:

+ Show Spoiler +
The ending was crap, the story was crap, the stupid animals was crap, the fucking actors/actress was crap, the fucking shit omg i hate this movie so bad crap. Why did i pay 80 swedish crowns to se this stupid movie?

-5/5 =)


Don't see this movie it's not worth it
Gör om, gör rätt
KOFgokuon
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States14911 Posts
December 10 2007 16:19 GMT
#11
+ Show Spoiler +

Why the hell didn't all of the armored bears come to help their king in that fight? So stupid...
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States44027 Posts
December 10 2007 16:21 GMT
#12
On December 11 2007 01:19 KOFgokuon wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +

Why the hell didn't all of the armored bears come to help their king in that fight? So stupid...

+ Show Spoiler +
Never heard of single combat?
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
GMer[TOp]
Profile Joined June 2007
Canada118 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-12-10 16:25:28
December 10 2007 16:23 GMT
#13
+ Show Spoiler +
On December 11 2007 00:42 Kwark wrote:
I absolutely loved it. It was very episodic but I liked it that way. They just did the book scene by scene and cut out all the nonsense, there was no bit of it where I felt bored. An obvious contrast would be The Fellowship of the Ring where you're sitting there thinking "this is very loyal to the book but why am I watching midgets steal turnips from a farmer". The effects were awesome (zomg witches), Lee was a cool as I'd imagined him from the book and Iorek was just orgasmic.
+ Show Spoiler +
When he runs to get his armour I'm just sitting there thinking "Those guys are so fucked right now :D" and then you have a few seconds of tension building and a fucking armoured bear bursts through the wall and roars. I almost came right then. That and in the final fight where instead of the expected standoff where Iorek would tell them to leave Lyra alone he just runs right at them without any hesitation. And the fight with Ragnar. When the jaw goes flying. To be honest whenever Iorek was on screen it was awesome

I felt they didn't waste any time with the early part of the film, it could have been very slow starting but wasn't. And everything looked awesome like the blade at Bolvangar and that crazy carriage engine. It was all so magical. Lord Asriel and Mrs Coulter were cast perfectly. Daniel Craig had the looks and the air of confidence and danger. Nicole Kidman looks beautiful and carried the twin natures of the character (powerful, assertive and very dangerous against mothering) very well. I especially loved her in the scene by the window when she slaps her own daemon and then nurtures it.

In my opinion this film could be very confusing if you have not read the books (wtf where have you been if you haven't). It's fast paced and skips a lot of character development and background stuff. You can also criticise it on a lot of technical grounds, the ending was pretty weak and from time to time Lyra's acting made me wince (though she's far better than the child actors in the first Harry Potter). However, as someone who loved the books, I sat there watching this wonderful mysterious world presented beautifully in front of me with the fascinating characters and armoured bears and daemons and couldn't have enjoyed it more.

As a standalone film, it's flawed. As a representation of a book I love it's wonderful.


I only read "i absolutely loved it" and i quote. GJ on this movie very nice but the end makes you think omfg what a goof them basterd directors are lol. + Show Spoiler +
Cus ur expecting another scene. or at least I was, and slowly but surely you figure out that the music now playing is the end credit music ahahah.


Basterds....
Money is everything
KOFgokuon
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States14911 Posts
December 10 2007 16:37 GMT
#14
On December 11 2007 01:21 Kwark wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 11 2007 01:19 KOFgokuon wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +

Why the hell didn't all of the armored bears come to help their king in that fight? So stupid...

+ Show Spoiler +
Never heard of single combat?


+ Show Spoiler +

I'm not talking about single combat
I mean when they went to go rescue the kids in the north from the gobblers place
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States44027 Posts
December 10 2007 16:45 GMT
#15
On December 11 2007 01:37 KOFgokuon wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 11 2007 01:21 Kwark wrote:
On December 11 2007 01:19 KOFgokuon wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +

Why the hell didn't all of the armored bears come to help their king in that fight? So stupid...

+ Show Spoiler +
Never heard of single combat?


+ Show Spoiler +

I'm not talking about single combat
I mean when they went to go rescue the kids in the north from the gobblers place

Ah, my bad. Tbh you could invent reasons. We don't know what the bears concept of kingship entails. You could argue he can only act for the good of all bears in his role as king whereas his contract with Lyra is in his role as an individual. Or whatever. Tbh though, too many bears would be overkill. One is leaning in the direction of overkill.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
lugggy
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
450 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-12-10 17:11:10
December 10 2007 17:05 GMT
#16
I appreciate your advice. Maybe the book does kick ass. But this is a horrible incomplete movie. I don't know why reading the book would change this. There's nothing in the movie.

I also want to be clear. It's not about the ending (or lack of it). It's about the movie (or lack of it). I am content with films having no real ending, if there was anything of value throughout the film besides good looking/sounding scenes of acting/computer graphics. The intended inspirational changes of scene and montages were cliche, forced, ineffective, pretty much embarassing, and seeing one after another at a constant rate pretty much was the entire film. Meaninglessly changing setting over and over when the characters are strangers or flat characters to you.
A little effort please, this isnt a forum for just posting every link on the internet.
SuperJongMan
Profile Blog Joined March 2003
Jamaica11586 Posts
December 10 2007 17:14 GMT
#17
Can I get a picture of this armored bear?
Googling armored bear failed to come up with interesting results...
POWER OVERWHELMING ! ! ! KRUU~ KRUU~
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32278 Posts
December 10 2007 17:23 GMT
#18
[image loading]


[image loading]
Moderator<:3-/-<
Sadir
Profile Blog Joined December 2005
Vatican City State1176 Posts
December 10 2007 17:29 GMT
#19
the film was amazing
everything rocked
and I was so not disappointed by it, to be honest
the only bad thing about it was that it was so short and the big battle, which sucked (I really hate big battles)
SK.Testie
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Canada11084 Posts
December 10 2007 17:45 GMT
#20
User Rating: 6.7/10 from IMDB

So yeah, it's very likely to be lacking and feel flat like the original poster said.
Social Justice is a fools errand. May all the adherents at its church be thwarted. Of all the religions I have come across, it is by far the most detestable.
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