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Taken from http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?currentpage=6&topic_id=45529
I've been prescribed 4 weeks of fluoxetine (prozac). I would like to hear stories from those who are experienced with this medication, and maybe include a brief background of your depression if possible. I've taken prozac before but quit after a week because I was feeling emotionally numb and apathetic. The doctor today said it was because I quit too soon. However he also told me prozac had "absolutely no side effects" which is obviously not true so I am not sure how he became a doctor.
I enjoyed this discussion about the validity of treating depression through medication. There are indeed neurological causes to clinical depression but the importance of their effect is uncertain. Furthermore various forms of couseling such as cognitive therapy have proven to be effective methods of treatment. Two particular antidepressant/placebo studies are quite unnerving.
http://journals.apa.org/prevention/volume1/pre0010002a.html
A 1998 study by Kirsch, Irving, a UConn psychologist who conducted 19 double-blind trials to find the placebo effect in all of them as high as 75% and "the correlation between placebo effect and drug effect [to be] .90," the result of which assuming the experiements were done correctly and all factors accounted for, signify that the effect of Prozac on patients tested is largely insignificant. (Insignificant in the general sense, not statistically)
http://www.namiscc.org/Research/2002/DrugEfficacy.htm
Fours years later, a report investigating studies submitted to the FDA by major drug companies for approval of antidepressants shows amazingly smiliar results. Six different antidepressants were used in "47 randomized placebo controlled short-term efficacy trials" only to have the placebo effect appear in 80% of the groups. This report, also by Dr. Irving Kirsch, details amazingly lackadaisical practices by the FDA in approving antidepressant drugs. Some excerpts:
"Although the FDA approved the drugs for "the treatment of depression" not otherwise specified, all but one of the clinical trials were conducted on patients described as moderately to severely depressed (their mean baseline Hamilton Depression Scale [HAM-D] scores ranged from 21.0 to 29.7)."
"In order to generalize the findings of the clinical trial to a larger patient population, FDA reviewers sought a completion rate of 70% or better for these typically 6-week trials. Only 4 of 45 trials, however, reached this objective."
"The use of other psychoactive medication was reported in 25 trials. In most trials, a chloral hydrate sedative was permitted in doses ranging from 500 mg to 2000 mg per day."
Thank god for the Freedom of Information Act.
Other studies :
http://www.mcmanweb.com/article-18.htm
There exist theories that attempt to explain the unusually high occurence of the placebo effect. I don't know what they are but I assume they involve underlining the ambiguity of depression leading to inconclusive results of those who were given the placebo and later being "cured". In whatever case, these published studies show the effectiveness of antidepressants as at the very least, controversial.
Apart from clinical studies, there have been thousands (wiki) of lawsuits against drug companies over the effects of antidepressants. One case involving a serial killer, Joyce Fentress, et al. v Shea Communications et al or the Fentress Case
http://www.lectlaw.com/filesh/zbk03.htm
was undone by highly unethical and shady conduct on the side of Eli Lilly, the drug company that produces Prozac. On September 14, 1989, Joseph Wesbecker, who was severely depressed and had been taking Prozac for a month, a new antidepressant drug on the market, brought an AK-47 to work, shot and killed 8 of his fellow employees, wounded 12, and committed suide by shooting himself in the head after. Halfway through the ensuring trial, Chief plaintiffs' counsel Paul Smith asked oddly to withhold important evidence against Eli Lilly after repeatedly asking to present the same evidence previously. The information detailed another case that involved the drug Oraflex. Eli Lilly pleaded guilty to misreporting detrimental side effects of the drug that eventually led to four deaths and a court order to withdraw Oraflex from the market. Smith, it was later revealed in a Supreme Court investigation, secretly agreed to a "tremedous" settlement with Eli Lilly during a courtroom break moments after the judge allowed his request to present his evidence. After ruling the case in favor of Eli Lilly, Judge Potter appealed to the Supreme Court over his own decision. He won his case unanimously. However before any ruling was reached, Judge Potter signed a document declaring the case settled. A very bizzare turn of events that may never be fully explained but certainly involve more shady conduct from Eli Lilly.
Not surprisingly, after finding all of this out I am appalled by the unethical behavior of drug companies. I might still take the prozac to see what effect it has, but if it doesn't work after a month I am becoming rachel weisz in the constant gardner and dedicating my life to uncovering and exposing dirty scandals perpetrated by giant pharmaceutical companies all over the world.
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![[image loading]](http://blogs.sun.com/rama/resource/calvin-ritalin.jpg)
Does your diet still consist of a healthy intake of adderall and other stimulants?
edit: Anyways, it's really your call - which is nice since you appear to be doing a lot of research on the subject. But for what it's worth, don't be too shocked in the doctor's uneven behavior. I've had doctors prescribe me medication before and openly speak of the benefits while not disclosing a single side-effect. It's pretty irresponsible, but maybe they have something to gain by handing out pills by the handful.
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<3 placebo!
whatever makes you feel better!! ^^;
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
over-prescription and unnecessary prescription of psych meds is rampant and psych misdiagnoses are far too prevalent.. I would guess half the people diagnosed with bipolar disorder or depression don't actually have it, same or worse goes for ADD, ADHD, GAD etc.. some "disorders" are just descriptive collections of symptoms without scientific proof of any specific pathology (like ADD) etc.. psychiatry is still far from a science, and most of its treatment fall under the voodoo category..
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I'm gonna bump this because I actually did research and took a long time to write it
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i take it and it helps, but i am not really on a regular schedule. I just take it whenever i feel like i need it, and that is usually like a couple times a week. Usually if i get depressed i just smoke weed, but if thats unavailable, its time for the 'zac attack. I have never noticed side effects myself, hell i barely notice the drug at all. The only thing it does is like make me less iritable (which does help a lot i must add) and prevents me from getting to angry about some annoying shit.
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I would tend to think Weed ain't the best remedy out there when you are depressive.
Its like Freud trying to cure hysterical women and depressive males with pure cocaine -_-. Well, he believed it worked --
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8748 Posts
i was on prozac and then switched to fluoxetine (the generic brand) to save money. i started at 20mg and went up to 40mg and stayed there. it helped in my first episode depression and i had no bad side effects, except that i just felt weird. i felt somehow artificial as though the way i was acting wasnt who i really was. i didnt stay on it for the recommended length (you are supposed to stay on it for 6-12 months after you feel 100% better). i felt better and only stayed on for a few more months then i cut it off cold even though you are supposed to taper it off. so the chance i'd have another episode of depression was high, and sure enough...
in my 2nd episode, i got back on 20mg of fluoxetine for one month, then switched to 40mg. but even after waiting long enough for the full effect to take place, i did not feel like my symptoms were going away. i was, however, feeling side effects. nausea, dizziness, headaches. also i was feeling suicidal, and one day in particular i was heavily contemplating. i was alone, had a plan of how to do it and the equipment in preparation, etc. but i couldnt do it. i cut the fluoxetine off cold again and am gonna see another psychiatrist soon to try some other meds.
i've basically given up any expectations of explanation from psychiatrists about mental health. like Physician says, mental health is so unscientific right now that it's ridiculous. patients don't know how to describe their own symptoms, doctors don't know how to diagnose, most of the prescription drugs aren't even understood. what i mean by that is that they simply notice that certain drugs seem to help certain symptoms and don't have significantly dangerous side effects, so they just dish them out. how it all works is still very poorly understood. the way my doctors and therapists have talked to me, it seems that they dont understand how it feels to be me at all. hmm getting off topic ~_~
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over-prescription and unnecessary prescription of psych meds is rampant and psych misdiagnoses are far too prevalent.. I would guess half the people diagnosed with bipolar disorder or depression don't actually have it, same or worse goes for ADD, ADHD, GAD etc.. some "disorders" are just descriptive collections of symptoms without scientific proof of any specific pathology (like ADD) etc.. psychiatry is still far from a science, and most of its treatment fall under the voodoo category..
Right on the point.
Its mainly a money thing in general, especially in schools where students HAVE to take it or else they can be kicked out of the school. Another thing is that a lot of those drugs mess up the mind so when u stop taking it you are messed up from taking it(thus psych's tell u to keep taking it).
Vicious circle.
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do you think fluxotine influenced your suicidal feelings? When you first took the drug how long did you stay on it for
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8748 Posts
i have no idea if it influenced my suicidal feelings. i was on it for 9 months the first time. i think 3 months at 20 and 6 months at 40
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There are a lot of documented cases of prozac and similar antidepressants causing increased suicidal thoughts and behavior in people taking them. Search your int3rne7s if you're curious.
We're dealing with something people don't understand using something that people don't know how it works. I don't think it's irrational to expect unpredictable results.
edit: your thread inspired a blog postzor.
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Went to my doctor today about anxiety today, she prescribed me prozac. It made me feel very tired and dizzy.. I just woke up from a nap since 5 pm.. (8:21pm est now)
Wtf am I putting in my body? I don't want to be a zombie.
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Interesting necro but worthy of discussion nonetheless
I've recently been prescribed citalopram after failing to self cure myself for the last 2 years - nothing significantly wrong with my life, everything is going well for me, i have a fantastic family, career, money, uni life, health etc.etc. but i cant help feel completely and utterly depressed all the time
Ive been on it for just over 2 months on 10mg, not much effect, so my dose got increased to 20mg recently.
Been feeling a bit better, but mainly due to less pressure in work now my internship is ending/over and i wouldn't attribute it to any drug
I havnt felt it affect my mood in any way that i can attribute to the drug, nor have i experienced it "numbing" any emotions
The only thig i noticed was a massive decrease in sex drive, but that kinda stopped after about 1.5 months in, and i guess its just part of the depression.
Don't really know what to do nowadays, i just ignore the problem as much as i can
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SSRI's can cause loss of libido. They take around 4-6 weeks to reach effect. I would suggest that mid-day napping can make you tired also.
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SSRI's are absolutely terrible. They're barely understood other than that they have been shown to effect levels of serotonin. That's it. Your brain is controlled by a very delicate chemical balance. I have seen several of my friends become completely different people after being placed on SSRI's, and these guys are my tripping buddies. We've done everything under the sun and always came out sane, but now that they've both been on SSRI's for a couple months they're completely different people.
It's like that propaganda about weed: It makes them lazy and useless. They have no ambition and care little for their lives anymore.
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Don't take Prozac or any other SSRI. They will fuck you up. The whole "depression is a chemical imbalance" thing is a myth.
Smoke weed if you're feeling depressed. Or try finding things you like to do.
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I'll add a quick 2 cents from a medical point of view:
Many side effects reported here are transient: nausea, insomnia, headache and the likes. Exceptions do occur longer (NonY), but generally it's easier to tailor antidepressants around side effect profiles instead of efficacy. Newer SSRIs like Celexa/ Lexapro have been noted to have less interactions and adverse effects. However you can't escape a limp noodle with SSRIs. That usually stays for the course of the med unless you switch to another class of ADs (Wellbutrin, non-serotonin drugs)
The notion that the mind is mysterious and should not be altered is definitely a valid concern. However, that does not mean mean we need to set a caution tape around pharmacotherapy. We are learning new things each year as seen in the newer formulations of SSRIs and psychoactive meds (greater efficacy, more favorable side effect profiles). Basic and clinical science recognize SSRIs are something more than just a 'serotonergic black hole.'
For example, the bio-psycho-social mechanism behind Prozac increasing suicide has since been clarified and accepted in the medical community: depression hits on various axis of behavior-- sleep, motivation, concentration, initiative and suicidality. However with treatment, suicidality is usually the last to go. Take a guess what usually happens to someone with enhanced motivation, concentration and initiative but still is suicidal? That is why now any competent physician evaluates suicidal ideation and social support before and after starting any antidepressants. In fact, it is even a clinical guideline in PCPs to follow-up within 2 weeks after starting a regimen.
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had anxiety problems, doctor gave me SSRI. took it for 2-3 months, made me a zombie even though i tried my best to be outgoing and whatnot. Don't even risk it. I already solved it by doing cardio everyday, helps me think more clear and worry less about my lifes problems (college, girlfriend, family at home, etc).
I HIGHLY, and repeat HIGHLY, do not approve of citalopram. FUCK. THAT. GUYS. don't risk it please, id rather see people smoke marijuana honestly, as bad as it sounds. Those are your brain chemicals you are fucking with, it can increase your depression or anxiety and you wont know it til one day shit hits the fan and you'll be out of your mind but you'll argue your reason behind putting a knife to your throat and actually make yourself BELIEVE you are right, and wont be able to step outside your shoes. its a horrible thing, fck ssri's
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Prozac is like, government approved cocaine, or so I heard.
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just tell your doc that you dont feel good on it (google some common side effects), and say you would rather not take something everyday but only when you need to go do something that might cause you anxiety. you will probably get xanax or another benzo which works but they are also quite addictive and you can build up a strong tolerance so only use them if you really have to. (they are also great for the comedown of other drugs, and helping you sleep)
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On July 04 2007 10:11 Flaccid wrote:
That comic really struck me. Pretty powerful message.
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On September 17 2010 10:03 blarrgh wrote:
I'll add a quick 2 cents from a medical point of view:
Many side effects reported here are transient: nausea, insomnia, headache and the likes. Exceptions do occur longer (NonY), but generally it's easier to tailor antidepressants around side effect profiles instead of efficacy. Newer SSRIs like Celexa/ Lexapro have been noted to have less interactions and adverse effects. However you can't escape a limp noodle with SSRIs. That usually stays for the course of the med unless you switch to another class of ADs (Wellbutrin, non-serotonin drugs)
The notion that the mind is mysterious and should not be altered is definitely a valid concern. However, that does not mean mean we need to set a caution tape around pharmacotherapy. We are learning new things each year as seen in the newer formulations of SSRIs and psychoactive meds (greater efficacy, more favorable side effect profiles). Basic and clinical science recognize SSRIs are something more than just a 'serotonergic black hole.'
For example, the bio-psycho-social mechanism behind Prozac increasing suicide has since been clarified and accepted in the medical community: depression hits on various axis of behavior-- sleep, motivation, concentration, initiative and suicidality. However with treatment, suicidality is usually the last to go. Take a guess what usually happens to someone with enhanced motivation, concentration and initiative but still is suicidal? That is why now any competent physician evaluates suicidal ideation and social support before and after starting any antidepressants. In fact, it is even a clinical guideline in PCPs to follow-up within 2 weeks after starting a regimen.
This is a quality post and I'm quoting it in the hopes people will read it. Just be careful, mental illness is a mysterious thing and what works or doesn't work for one person means little for another.
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Yes the field is very juvenile and unscientific in general. There is merit to a lot of it though. There is definitely over prescription in some cases. Diet/exercise/going outside is definitely a huge factor in depression in my opinion.
I think it's best to be open minded though, there is some very good evidence for a lot of things. General knowledge of personality disorders is honestly something everyone should know (if just for dealing/understanding people with those disorders you meet, and you will meet a lot of them). The mind can get fucked up, it just happens and will probably happen to most people. Whether you deal with it through religion, drinking, drugs, or whatever, people cope in different ways and some have legitimately fucked up brains (people have varying ranges of empathy/emotion etc). It's pretty important to be aware of these things if just to understand people better.
Of course you can take the view that everyone thinks like yourself (which is the juvenile one). Honestly though it helps in parenting to be aware of personality disorders and not raising a fucked up human.
So many people are not aware of NPD, BPD, etc. and get fucked over by it. The worst, worst thing for people with these types of problems is families that don't understand that while psychiatry isn't perfect, it's still a legit attempt to help / diagnose / understand these problems.
It's pretty retarded how non self aware most people really are. Humans are diabolically delusional in that respect. It's probably also because of the "desrved it" mentality. In order to cope with seemingly random horrible events, blame is almost always in some ways shifted to victims. This allows people to again delude themselves to reality and "cope". Which means a depressed person just needs to "cheer up", someone with BPD needs to just realize they aren't horrible, people with NPD just need to not have to try to appear so perfect etc. Definitely different levels of how deep the problems are and how long they will last.. but god help if anyone who doesn't believe in psychology has a BPD daughter.
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Drugs whether from a doctor or a dealer aren't the answer. There may be some chemical imbalance or some physical problem but more likely its something else that needs to be dealt with. I have personally always viewed all forms of drug use (illicit or legal) as weakness including alcohol. The same for suicide. Like its so repulsive and disgusting to use a substance or attempt suicide I have stayed clear of it for the most part (I tried weed and a drank for a bit). I know tons of people on meds and its just a joke, it rarely helps them at all b/c the problems they have are still there really. I've had doctors try to put me on meds when I was in like 6th grade and other times but I never would take it. Same for therapy. None of that is needed. You gotta get angry and get going. It sounds like Dr. Phil but it works.
And this is coming from someone who has had a hard life with tons of problems. I actually broke out in severe hives after my finals (+tons of regular stress) a week ago and am freaking out stress might be having physical effects and they might have to put me on some anxiety meds. My mom used to get sores from stress on her hands as well. Hopefully its an allergy and not stress induced, but I still won't go on meds I'll just find a way to deal with stress. Some of the meds I'm on (cost $600 for 4 meds  ) can change moods or w/e but its not designed for that. Anyway don't ever take meds and realize suicide is the most disgusting, vile, horrible thing ever. I can't say what I equate it with b/c I'd get banned but just make it something as vile as possible. Thats my advice anyway.
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Just wanted to throw in a counterpoint. I was really depressed in early high school so I was put on Celexa (an SSRI). At first I felt like a zombie, but eventually I got used to it. What happened is that I was able to devise all these coping strategies that I wouldn't have been able to if I was still as depressed and anxious as I had been before. So when I went off the Celexa two years later I was a different person, much happier and more in control of my life. I think I had just learned to think in a more adaptive way.
It really changed my life for the better. Take this as you will, but there are success stories.
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This is one of the many reasons I haven't gone to a psychologist in my life. Everyone wants to throw you on pills... I'd rather push through the bullshit and come out of it eventually. Even at my lowest points I've never considered suicide a valid option for more than a few minutes, so I guess compared to some, I'm lucky or something. I normally rage for a bit smash something... it's just most of the time I feel like I've "had it up to here, and I'm mad enough to scream, but sad enough to tear." It can be a pretty wild time when I'm left alone to think a lot.
I've thought about writing a journal, but I'm absolutely terrified that someone in my family will stumble upon it and read it. It's happened with school journals that I've had to keep, which I didn't want anyone reading, but I forgot it by the computer or something once and my mom read it. She liked what I had to say about the topics, but that's not the point. I don't even really like to write shit too personal here, because I hate having to retype my passwords so I keep them saved in Opera (which only I use), and I'm afraid someone may sign on and read what I have to say about me, or someone related to me in some way (perhaps the person on the account).
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A post I made on an old blog:
+ Show Spoiler +<blockquote>Jade Pinkerton had an extreme personality change and tried to take her own life after taking a widely used antidepressant drug. ... Mrs Pinkerton said she was put on Prozac in January last year for depression, which she attributes to a stressful job as a social worker. It was the first time the Wellington woman had had any psychological problems and she had never harmed herself nor thought about committing suicide. <p style="text-align:right;">- <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10575446">Depression Pill Linked To Suicide Bids</a></p></blockquote> <!--more-->It breaks my heart to read stories like these... I used to think that suicide was a really selfish thing, I couldn't imagine how anyone could do it (especially if they had beautiful families who cared for them). In 2003 however I left home to go to university and I was a bit lonely because I didn't really make many friends. Then the girl I liked all through college got engaged to someone else and I told her that I was sad so she recommended that I should go to see a doctor. So I went to see one, who was a really lovely person, but thinking back now I only remember telling her that I felt down every now and then and just from that one meeting she diagnosed me with depression and prescribed Fluoxetine to me, saying that there were chemical imbalances in my brain which the pills would help me with. I was a Christian at the time and I was afraid that taking the drugs would affect what I thought about God and that I might lose my memories. My instincts told me that He wouldn't want me to use them, but even the Christians in my life were saying that it was what I needed to do so I listened to them. I know I'm making excuses and blaming others for my own decisions. Anyhow, ever since then I've struggled with suicidal thoughts. I guess I've always been quite a pessimistic person, but not to the point where I'd want to end my life. To this day I still do lay in bed at night thinking about dying quite a lot and when it gets really bad I'll cut my wrists or burn myself with cigarettes. Sometimes I go for walks to places like motorway bridges or really high buildings and imagine how peaceful it'd be just to jump off. But I'm always too pussy to embrace the landing. A few more Herald articles: <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10563280" rel="nofollow">Another Round Of Drug Disputes</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10563278" rel="nofollow">Prozac: A Mother's Painful Quest</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10562590" rel="nofollow">About-Face On Drug Danger Advice</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10494827" rel="nofollow">Antidepressants Don't Work - Study</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=3584280" rel="nofollow">How Murray Deaker Got Back In Control</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=3581535" rel="nofollow">European Agency Spreads Aropax Suicide Warning</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=3570575" rel="nofollow">Glaxo Sued Over Depression Drug</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=3557401" rel="nofollow">Depression Cure May Be A Curse</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=3556645" rel="nofollow">Antidepressant Link To Suicide Unproven, Say Regulators</a> <a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=3539720" rel="nofollow">Ministry Rethink On Antidepressants</a>
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I used to get prescribed all sorts of anti-depressants in high school, none of them worked and I wasn't convinced I had depression back then so I stopped taking all of them. It wasn't until almost a decade later that I finally started getting out of depression, without drugs.
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That comic really struck me. Pretty powerful message.
I actually got banned from a forum for a while for posting it because it made a couple of the mods curl up and cry like babies. It's possibly the most gutpunching 4 panels of sequential art out there. So sad...
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Yo i've suffered from major depression for 12 years now. About a decade i've been flirting with suicide.
two things i've figured out
1) the US government has done this to me (fuck democracy you facking drools)
2) strippers and happy ending massage parlors do more for my emotional well being than any doctor ever by 1000x. Kissing helps a lot.
No girl will fuck a depressed guy, even if you are depressed cause you're not fucking.
Prostitution is the only way to break the destructive cycle. Fuck you if you think prostitution should be illegal. I should kill you because you are killing me. Self defense mother fucker
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On September 17 2010 14:59 Thereisnosaurus wrote:I actually got banned from a forum for a while for posting it because it made a couple of the mods curl up and cry like babies. It's possibly the most gutpunching 4 panels of sequential art out there. So sad...
Probably because that, while gutpunching, it also doesn't accurately reflect reality at all. Anyone who makes decisions based of editorial cartoons is a fool. And I make these statements as someone who has been on pretty much every ADD medication there is.
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On September 17 2010 15:06 NFLisFixed wrote:
Yo i've suffered from major depression for 12 years now. About a decade i've been flirting with suicide.
two things i've figured out
1) the US government has done this to me (fuck democracy you facking drools)
2) strippers and happy ending massage parlors do more for my emotional well being than any doctor ever by 1000x. Kissing helps a lot.
No girl will fuck a depressed guy, even if you are depressed cause you're not fucking.
Prostitution is the only way to break the destructive cycle. Fuck you if you think prostitution should be illegal. I should kill you because you are killing me. Self defense mother fucker
lol, I just looked and seriously half of this guys post involve him complaining about prostitution....are you for real? BTW, depressed guys get tons of ass, just buy a guitar.
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I was on an ever-icnreasing dosage of prozac for maybe 3 months. When I was a kid, I was on paxil, but I guess they decided with prozac this time.
Anyway, I quite literally had the worst bout of insomnia I've ever had when I was on it. Literally 3 and a half days or something with no sleep, and then 2 hours of sleep spread over the course of the next 2 days. It was the worst week of my life, frankly.
This isn't a vote of negativity. When it comes to antidepressants, some work better or worse for certain people.
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Well, im actually TAKING citalopram right now
Tbh, i havnt felt any effects at all... nothing i can actually attribute to citalopram
Zombification? What on earth is that i dont really get that at all.... I've always "enjoyed" being a zombie in most social situations because its how i feel the most comfortable around people - i don't actually enjoy being outgoing or interacting with the vast majority of people - some people i do and then i can enjoy it more
I have eqiupped myself with the tools to deal with social situatons (i have to, i work for a i-bank) - but it doesnt necessarily mean i enjoy them at all.
The reason why im taking it is because sometimes ill be sitting at home, and ill have a massive, suicidal bout of depression for absolutely no reason at all. I hate myself, have no answers to anything, and there is nothing in life that i want. I literally have almost everything i could ever want, and not just on a physical possessions level. People ask me what makes me happy and my response is "i dont know"
I don't know what it means for it to make you a "zombie" - i've always been a zombie. The only times when im hyped up and "outgoing" is because i force myself to, or i just eat a ton of sugar and get hyped up that way. And tbh, that pisses me off more - because i know that isn't the real me at all- its just me being confused on what my "real" personality should be when tbh, i don't really know at all - i just know that outgoing version is a form of massive denial, because the only people i really want to be outgoing with are my closest friends who can accept me regardless of me playing the "social game"
Conclusion?: i don't know. I really don't know what its supposed to do, what i'm meant to do to get better - should i be forcing myself into an outgoing mood? Inside i know i hate doing shit like that. I know people that i really like, and i enjoy being with them. Thats just classic introvert personality, and its part of me.
What effects will citalopram have? I have absolutely no idea. Is it zombifying me? Uh... no?
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On September 17 2010 13:55 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
This is one of the many reasons I haven't gone to a psychologist in my life. Everyone wants to throw you on pills... I'd rather push through the bullshit and come out of it eventually. Even at my lowest points I've never considered suicide a valid option for more than a few minutes, so I guess compared to some, I'm lucky or something. I normally rage for a bit smash something... it's just most of the time I feel like I've "had it up to here, and I'm mad enough to scream, but sad enough to tear." It can be a pretty wild time when I'm left alone to think a lot.
I've thought about writing a journal, but I'm absolutely terrified that someone in my family will stumble upon it and read it. It's happened with school journals that I've had to keep, which I didn't want anyone reading, but I forgot it by the computer or something once and my mom read it. She liked what I had to say about the topics, but that's not the point. I don't even really like to write shit too personal here, because I hate having to retype my passwords so I keep them saved in Opera (which only I use), and I'm afraid someone may sign on and read what I have to say about me, or someone related to me in some way (perhaps the person on the account).
I suggest starting a blog. You can protect or hide the posts you don't want others to read, but the writing alone helps. A while ago i read about a study about the self-therapy of blogging and i tried it, it really works (just don't forget to protect a post and let your boss read it, it will cause a very unpleasent conversation -.-). You can begin by writing a few entries about starcraft strategies or your 20-win streak (or 20-loss streak when you had a few bad days) to get into the writing and when you feel very low, just write a new entry for yourself, write down your feelings and then protect or hide it. If you later want to let someone know how you feel you can give him/her the password.
I recently deleted my blog, but before that i forced myself to write every week at least one entry about what good things happened in my life in that week.
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On September 17 2010 15:13 sob3k wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2010 14:59 Thereisnosaurus wrote:That comic really struck me. Pretty powerful message. I actually got banned from a forum for a while for posting it because it made a couple of the mods curl up and cry like babies. It's possibly the most gutpunching 4 panels of sequential art out there. So sad... Probably because that, while gutpunching, it also doesn't accurately reflect reality at all. Anyone who makes decisions based of editorial cartoons is a fool. And I make these statements as someone who has been on pretty much every ADD medication there is.
And it's not a real Calvin & Hobbes cartoon. Not that it matters at all for this discussion, but I still wanted to point it out. :p
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Eventho I am not on meds ; I am against them and support other kind of therapies 100 % - sports - family - work (paid or not) - time out - etc... ; this thread makes feel a ton more like a person and I hope everyone posting here feels how valuable they are and how much there is to live for eventhough it might not seem obvious a lot of the time or almost all of it.
Go to a doc that feels human, and a person, show him your research and tell him how and why you feel like you do about taking or not them drugs and if you do not like what he says look for another different one.
Sorry about shitty grammar I am spanish and english is only my second language.
L1mb0
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Well for anyone who has read my posts
There seems to be so much negativity over these things
So what should i do instead? I excercise regularly, i eat healthily, i have a stable financial career and a loving family, i socialise just enough for what i need/want, i am capable of socialising as much as i need/want, i do all the right things
Yet every day i get home and feel incredibly depressed and hopeless for no reason
I had nowhere to turn to, and i asked myself questions for 2 years about what to do, what was i doing wrong, WHY am i so depressed?
On my bday i could do nothing but curl up and cry in hopelessness when nobody was looking. I was having a wonderful holiday in singapore with my family.
So someone explain it. I'm looking for answers - i used to think i could work one out, but i don't know what the answers are anymore. So last resort, i went to the doctors and she prescribed me some pills.
Now i take them
Do they help? I don't really know, i still feel the same tbh.
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On September 17 2010 19:57 Orome wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2010 15:13 sob3k wrote:On September 17 2010 14:59 Thereisnosaurus wrote:That comic really struck me. Pretty powerful message. I actually got banned from a forum for a while for posting it because it made a couple of the mods curl up and cry like babies. It's possibly the most gutpunching 4 panels of sequential art out there. So sad... Probably because that, while gutpunching, it also doesn't accurately reflect reality at all. Anyone who makes decisions based of editorial cartoons is a fool. And I make these statements as someone who has been on pretty much every ADD medication there is. And it's not a real Calvin & Hobbes cartoon. Not that it matters at all for this discussion, but I still wanted to point it out. :p
Well yea, I think anyone who's read calvin and hobbes would know that. Still good to note though.
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EPT
