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United States6228 Posts
On November 11 2005 18:30 Painter wrote: What do you mean 'not get it' ? You just wrote a story about peanuts characters in an nonpeanuts like plot. that's exactly what people arn't getting. | ||
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man
United States272 Posts
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FakeSteve[TPR]
Valhalla18444 Posts
On November 11 2005 18:53 man wrote: it doesn't make sense because you didn't make it seem believable that he had to kill her instead of just leaving You are a fucking idiot seriously i'm having a hard time visualizing just how fucking bad this would be if you had written it | ||
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Fobbish
Korea (South)1071 Posts
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zero89
United States295 Posts
On November 11 2005 17:50 greatmeh wrote: its cool story, i like the first person style, kind of reminds me of the movie SIN City, and the video game MAX PAIN, huh, i like it  edit:spell check | ||
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greatmeh
Canada1964 Posts
i know i dont...... this is whats called a satire ! i think.. | ||
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Casper...
Liberia4948 Posts
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MuShu
United States3223 Posts
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Passion
Netherlands1486 Posts
nice one coincidence: i've been trying some english writing tonight and wrote a little story ^_^ don't worry i wont ruin your thread without your allowance | ||
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FakeSteve[TPR]
Valhalla18444 Posts
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zertaul993
Canada74 Posts
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FakeSteve[TPR]
Valhalla18444 Posts
On November 11 2005 23:19 zertaul993 wrote: ----NUKED---- From what I can tell, you just wrote "----NUKED----" and hit 'Post' Why | ||
Klogon
MURICA15980 Posts
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Painter
353 Posts
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Chereoke
Zimbabwe201 Posts
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Liquid`Jinro
Sweden33723 Posts
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collegeBored
United States1524 Posts
On November 11 2005 17:06 1hp wrote: excellent very good story. pic kinda ruined it for me though agreed completely. u can call me retarded or say i didnt get it, whatever. the pic didnt go well with the story imo | ||
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88)WhyYouKickMyDog
United States608 Posts
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Tycho
Netherlands351 Posts
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Passion
Netherlands1486 Posts
I see a dog walking past the rain-blurred window of possibly the oldest irish pub on earth. I'm pretty certain it's the oldest one i've ever been in. And i'm pretty sure the fellow that just stands up and falls back on his stool is the oldest man i've ever seen to drunk to walk. He stumbles towards the door and bumps into some people. Halfway on his path to fresh air he turns around and says, just a little too loud, good night to the barkeeper, who's about as old as he is. He walk on and finally he meets the massive wooden door, being the only thing between him and the world outside. It takes him three times to find out how to open it, even after he has probably done the same thing everyday for the past twenty years. Through the same window where i saw the dog pass by, i see the old guy grab ahold of the first light pole he can reach. My thoughts are brutally disrupted by her sweet voice. "Why the hell are you you so fucking beautifull?" she asks. "Normally girls say that after i break their hearts" i reply. She looks at me, trying to see through me. Am i joking, should she smile? Or am i serious and should she get angry... She cant figure it out. I can just smell her thoughts. "Maybe things will work out better for you then" i say with a smile, not showing anything about my intentions of either remark. "Normally i give some stupid reply to that question, seeing i normally dont care a great deal about the girl anymore" "Something like its all about the genes." "But to you... Because you're different... i'll give an honest reply" The questionmarks in her eyes just keep growing. "Though i wont answer your question" One more word and she'll go insane... "To be honest i find my beauty in the shadow, when ever i m with you..." She smiles. I smile. She looks deep into my eyes. My smile slowly fades as i look back into her big dark eyes, until i remember to smile and pull up the corners of my mouth again. "I'm not kidding..." She takes a little step into my direction. The smile on her face slowly fades, but then suddenly it rises again. I try to look through her big dark eyes. "You want a beer?", I ask. Her smile suddenly disappears. "Or would you rather have something else?" She smiles again. "A beer would be fine." She must be the most perfect girl alive. "Two beers please." I grab in my backpocket to get my wallet and pay for the beer. I turn around to walk back and there are three lads standing around the girl that i was planning to make mine for tonight. "You fucking cunt!" For the first time this evening i realised i had been drinking. What did the fat guy just say? "You smelly fucking cunt!" So it wasn't the alcohol. I slightly speeded my pace up until i was just a couple of steps away, then slowed down again and reached the table. I calmly put the beers on the table, look at my girl, then look at the guys. "Can i get any of you lads a drink?" I felt six eyes piercing through my skull. "A pint maybe?" Still no reply as they looked at each other. "Arright then, suite yourselfs", and i grabbed a chair and sat down again. "So you know these guys?" No asnwer. I grab my glass and hold it up. "Cheers! To a wonderfull evening." The smile that made me love her so much the moment before had disappeared and the way she looked now... Well i've seen prettier girls. I finish half my glass and put it back, turn towards the guys and notice they're looking about as stupid as the girl. "So you know each other?" The fat guy blinks with his eyes a couple of times before he opens his mouth. A couple of blinks later he finally manages to talk. "What the fuck" he says slowly. I realise that it must have been my rudeness that made every one look the way they did. "Good evening, i'm Abel" i say while streching my arm in his direction. All three of them look at my hand, then at each other. They turn around and grab a seat a couple of tables away from us. "Friends of yours?" I ask with a smile. "They didn't cause to much trouble did they?" Silence, as far as there can excist such thing as silence in a pub. "I think i'm going home" she almost whispers, as she looks at her hands, laying on her lap. "Hmm" She got up and put on her jacket. I finish my beer and did the same, then look at the door and look back at the table. I finish her beer and follow her towards the door. "You ugly prick!" Ah, the fat guy finally managed to speak to me. However the content of his words didnt seem worthy of a reaction. I open the door and held it for her. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Like a rhino running down the savannah he came towards us, grabbed my arm and pushed me back into the pub. I already had a feeling he didn't like me all to much. "Well i was planning on bringing this lady home in order to then proceed to the next pub." I replied as i look straight in his eyes. "Do you have a problem with that?" "You filthy piece of..." He grabs a bottle from the bar and swings it in the direction of my head. I automatically lift my arm and prevent the bottle from reaching its destination. As i rub my arm, realising this lad isnt much of a talker. Nevertheless its worth a last shot on a peacefull ending. "You sure you dont want a drink?" One second he's stunned, a second later he's furious. I'm seriously wondering what it is that made him so angry, trying to understand the situation from his perspective. I donnot have a clue. Then i observe the whole issue from where i'm standing, but before my thoughts find their final conclusion, i see a big hairy hand approaching my face with considerable speed. A stinging pain spreads through my skull, my jaw goes numb. Determined to first finish my thoughts, i start laughing out loud. You go out with a nice girl, all is going well and the next thing you know a guy tries to break your jaw. I can't stop laughing, from my point of view this situation is hilarious, though a bit sad. What matters most occures to my mind a couple of seconds later; from where i'm standing the situation is dangerous. I feel the proof of my conclusion as his other hairy fist hits my stomach. I decide its time to plan what action is to be taken. The time for talking seems to be over, so i dig through my memory and vaguely remember other fights i've been in, back when i was young. This guy isn't the fastest i've met, so i should take advantage of it. Two quick punches on his nose and a kick on his chest. Two quick steps backwards and he loses balance, falls to the floor taking a chair with him. I turn around and want to walk towards the door, but his friends seem to disagree. I wonder where she went. There must be girls twice as perfect alive. But i believe i've got bigger problems right now. A hand grabbing my arm. I turn around. Out of the corner of my eye i see the fat guy stands up again, and a fist way too close to my mouth. I feel the little control i had over the situation slip away. I see fifteen guys throwing and hitting with what ever they can get. It's time to say goodbye to my teeth. | ||
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