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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Checks her pulse by cupping the ribcage just under her boob because "he just can't find it on her wrist or neck" when the instructor tells them to (in the middle of heavy exercising mind you) And how I should tell all the men that there's some genius girls that'll actually believe that :D | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On April 24 2017 09:25 B.I.G. wrote: Are you sure all is well in paradise my citric friend? FYI this is a situation where I would get pissed at the guy because he obviously knows about you and still shamelessly grabs your girl's tit when he gets the chance. Your ladies intentions might be pure but no way in hell heb wouldnt sleep with her as soon as opportunity arises. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
And It'd be the first time in history where a guy spends loads of time with a woman, gets to touch her in sports classes, text and calls often, doesn't show interest in other women infront of her or avoids the subject mostly that wouldn't want to hump her bones sooner or later. I sure as hell know if I'm single again I'd whine about not getting any, want them to wing with me and ask for advice on how to get girls with my actual female friends. But yeah he's harmless, I told her I mind that and makes me feel uncomfortable so no big deal. And in regards all is well in paradise - well I've made the decision to focus on my job, it was very stressful last 4-6 months and I have been tired or not so present on most dates, I think if she didn't have friends it'd create all sorts of issues so I'm glad she has a guy like that, as long as he keeps the groping to a minimum lol | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
Though tbh during my studies I've hit on girls that were (becoming) friends, seen friends hit on friends and if the women weren't so relaxed being the target of charming efforts, I would have lost out on very good friends. So I kinda understand her indifference to his "advances". | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
He seems like a cool guy, I don't see anything wrong with him being friends with my gf, checking pulse on ribcage was innocent enough however dumb it sounds to me I didn't say he's attracted to her just that that eventually happens in my experience, as long as he doesn't act on it it's all good. I think there's not an awesome girl in the world that wouldn't have guys swarming around her and guy friends that are attracted to her at some point etc. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On April 25 2017 01:11 LemOn wrote: Lol Waffelz where'd that come from :D He seems like a cool guy, I don't see anything wrong with him being friends with my gf, checking pulse on ribcage was innocent enough however dumb it sounds to me I didn't say he's attracted to her just that that eventually happens in my experience, as long as he doesn't act on it it's all good. I think there's not an awesome girl in the world that wouldn't have guys swarming around her and guy friends that are attracted to her at some point etc. Given your generally very reasonable and chilled attitude, I assumed the guy was lowkey hitting on your GF despite being fully aware that she is in a relationship with you. And a little bit of needing to shitpost because I spend the whole day doing really retarded calculations that serve no other purpose than to. Plus this is one of the few threads I still frequently visit and it seems to slow down a lot  I am also pretty sure that it is a pretty weird spot to check someone’s pulse, either you can feel it on the wrist/neck (finger as well if I recall correctly) or it would have to be so weak that you definitely won’t feel it on the chest | ||
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niteReloaded
Croatia5282 Posts
Dating advice is allowed, but 'anything regarding PUA' is not. You are aware that PUA = dating advice? The way I'm reading it is: amateur advice is welcome, but advice from people who actually studied to understand what they're talking about - is not. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
That's why it's frowned upon. Don't think anyone here would object to people bringing up the new school of the industry that's basically polarizing through radical honesty and focusing on your purpose in life | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
D e s p i c a b l e. | ||
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NewSunshine
United States5938 Posts
On April 25 2017 03:44 niteReloaded wrote: I don't get the purpose of this thread. Dating advice is allowed, but 'anything regarding PUA' is not. You are aware that PUA = dating advice? That, however, is a false equivalence, and one that others and myself would not ever agree with. This thread should be about trying to help people pursue some kind of meaningful relationship, not snagging a quick fuck with someone they just met. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On that note there are many other people who write or do podcasts about the subject that you can learn something from. An example that comes to mind is Dante Nero, who emphasizes the importance of keeping your integrity as a man above all else in a relationship. But just like with the PUA stuff he also has views that I disagree with. I can come up with more examples of people for example who speak of the role a man plays in his family but the point is that just like many other things its up to the individual to be smart enough to listen to many sources and be wise enough to differentiate between what makes sense to you and what doesn't. | ||
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ragnasaur
United States804 Posts
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
On April 25 2017 08:00 B.I.G. wrote:Dante Nero, who emphasizes the importance of keeping your integrity as a man above all else in a relationship. What the hell does that even mean? | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
Well I haven't heard all his stuff but to paraphrase my understanding so far: he means being a stable factor in her life, not bullshitting her, and generally being a person to rely on. And if things go down south keeping a straight back and not begging or groveling. Hence keeping your value/integrity. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On April 25 2017 14:48 B.I.G. wrote: Well I haven't heard all his stuff but to paraphrase my understanding so far: he means being a stable factor in her life, not bullshitting her, and generally being a person to rely on. And if things go down south keeping a straight back and not begging or groveling. Hence keeping your value/integrity. This summons up my biggest problem with PUA. Most of the time it either seem questionable/manipulative/everything negative mentioned above, or plain common sense rephrased in a way to make it sound more meaningful way. So you should try and not add more problems to the life of your partner/not harass him if you break up? I feel enlightened. Only an academic could state the obvious and pass it off as wisdom. -Moist Von Lipwig (Terry Pratchett, Going Postal) Also, the ways most of those PUA-masters try to reason their beliefs and theories is one of the worst misrepresenting of psychology, studies and scientific knowledge regarding social behaviour while being presented by them as facts. I feel like most of their business is preying on bitter men. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
Replace man with person and you're fine. Don't do shit you're not willing to do because it damages the relationship on the long run. I wouldn't agree with above all else but otherwise this statement ist fine, if you disregard the focus on the male because I don't see any difference why he's mentioned specifically but to raise him above the female counterpart (I don't suppose PUA talk about picking up men as a man?). | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
And waffelz when referring to keeping your back straight the point wasn't to "not harass her" but rather not acting like a needy little idiot when your girl gives you shit for whatever reason. Not all advice needs to reinvent the wheel to be applicable because maybe some people forget or don't know about the basics. On that note maybe you can share what's bothering you (sorry if I missed it) because it seems like most of your posts in this thread display frustration. Maybe we can help. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
They avoid subjects that'd be good in the long run to avoid short term discomfort, throw their ego into it way too often play victims, pickup bad habits without realizing etc. So dismissing all dating podcasts, material and people that actually spend their lives studying what you're just winging half assedly your whole life and hardly ever invest time in is jumping the gun. Thing specifically this is about old school PUA as they use dishonest means and become fake on purpose for short term gains. And large majority of them realized eventually what they taught was just bullshit useful really only in the very beginning when your confidence is in the shit and you wouldn't even talk to people if you didn't hide behind pickup lines and routines. But I do believe if you're serious about dating and being in a relationship books, podcasts, therapy, workshops etc. should definitely be a firm part of your life to keep your common sense, grow and know you're on the right track as they make you question your ways and realize things about yourself and your relationship also. | ||
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