EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 906
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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smilingjuggernaut
74 Posts
On December 25 2016 23:11 ZerOCoolSC2 wrote: I think what I hate the most are one night stands with girls you really vibe with. It never amounts to anything after. If you wanna be friendly, there's no way to not come off as clingy/needy or whatever. It's just done. But it leaves such a sour taste. Any advice? You could move to Denmark. Here it usually goes: hookup --> dating instead of the weird dating --> hookup that other countries do (and by Denmark I mean Copenhagen, I have no idea what's going on in the rural areas of Denmark) | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On December 25 2016 23:11 ZerOCoolSC2 wrote: I think what I hate the most are one night stands with girls you really vibe with. It never amounts to anything after. If you wanna be friendly, there's no way to not come off as clingy/needy or whatever. It's just done. But it leaves such a sour taste. Any advice? I think you should just tell her that you liked her and would like to take her out on a real date. Be really up front on that you are interested in something more than just a hook up. On December 26 2016 01:04 smilingjuggernaut wrote: dating instead of the weird dating What does that even mean? | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
sex into dating instead of weird dating into sex | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On December 26 2016 02:05 Artisreal wrote: Did you read the whole sentence? sex into dating instead of weird dating into sex Ah, now I see what he meant. A comma or a dot would have helped there  . In that case I think most countries do the same thing, I doubt Denmark is any special in that regard. This is a comment I see sometimes on a student forum where I live - roughly translated. "When you were a kid: How long do we have a relationship before we have sex? Now: How long do we have sex before we are in a relationship?" The problem arises when not everyone are party people who get into situation where you would get a hookup. I have personally zero interest in going to a club since I don't particularly like clubbing and the probability of me hooking up there is far lower than me getting a girl on Tinder for example. Furthermore, the dating doesn't have to be "weird". | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
But time spent with her was more exciting even without sex than with other girls with it. Basically the advice I'd give is just be a direct honest pushy fucker which is a thing that always works, but be ready to backpedal if she genuinely isn't ready or has concerns. If you honestly can't do that, she's not awesome enough to wait for in the first place. | ||
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the bear jew
United States3674 Posts
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ZerOCoolSC2
9057 Posts
Another story is that my phone died when a girl I met at a whisky bar called me and told me she wanted me. So I couldn't order an uber. | ||
CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On December 26 2016 10:28 the bear jew wrote: I have a wonderful girlfriend and I'm not longer a virgin and i get to cuddle and man, things are so great. ((the pessimistic part of me wonders when it will go wrong. ))Probably soon. But don't worry about it! There will be other women. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
I know what you're thinking. This dude sure knows how to pick em. Before completely writing her off though we never were never exclusive and apart from telling different stories to me and my friend she always kept it straight with me. Considering my past with women I have quite the taste for promiscuous and/or emotionally abusive women. But I'm starting to think it's more because many women in general (of the type that I like) often do or have done plenty of whoreish/manipulative shit and I'm too good at sniffing that stuff out nowadays. What do you guys think? Should I stop being a hypocrite and accept that the girls I hang out with are just as bad as me? How do you guys feel about the girls in your life and their (if they have it) sluttiness? | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On December 26 2016 19:26 B.I.G. wrote: The girl I've been having a bit of a rollercoaster-not-relationship with (if that makes sense) whom I kinda seriously started digging is turning out to be a person that compensates for her huge insecurity with the attention of a lot of dudes. Every time she's lonely or feels bad that her desire to date seriously and start a family isn't working out she texts one of the dudes she has on call to give her attention. Surely she banged some of them but even more it's that she has a need for a couple of dudes fawning over her. Even to the point where she was like "aren't you interested in me?" to a friend of mine asking her for introductions to a friend of hers. I know what you're thinking. This dude sure knows how to pick em. Before completely writing her off though we never were never exclusive and apart from telling different stories to me and my friend she always kept it straight with me. Considering my past with women I have quite the taste for promiscuous and/or emotionally abusive women. But I'm starting to think it's more because many women in general (of the type that I like) often do or have done plenty of whoreish/manipulative shit and I'm too good at sniffing that stuff out nowadays. What do you guys think? Should I stop being a hypocrite and accept that the girls I hang out with are just as bad as me? How do you guys feel about the girls in your life and their (if they have it) sluttiness? I don't care -that- much if they have been decently slutty in the past. However I wouldn't be with someone who constantly craved attention from other men. I don't even think if you were exclusive or not really matters. It's pretty disrespectful to blantantly look for other mens attention when she is with you. I don't see a reason why you can't have 'higher standards' for yourself. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Sex is fun - it's just society/old school mothers that want to promote and mold their daughters into straight up whores (you can't "give it up for free") and shame "sluttiness" I wouldn't mix it with the other unhealthy behaviour | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
On December 26 2016 19:26 B.I.G. wrote: The girl I've been having a bit of a rollercoaster-not-relationship with (if that makes sense) whom I kinda seriously started digging is turning out to be a person that compensates for her huge insecurity with the attention of a lot of dudes. Every time she's lonely or feels bad that her desire to date seriously and start a family isn't working out she texts one of the dudes she has on call to give her attention. Surely she banged some of them but even more it's that she has a need for a couple of dudes fawning over her. Even to the point where she was like "aren't you interested in me?" to a friend of mine asking her for introductions to a friend of hers. I know what you're thinking. This dude sure knows how to pick em. Before completely writing her off though we never were never exclusive and apart from telling different stories to me and my friend she always kept it straight with me. Considering my past with women I have quite the taste for promiscuous and/or emotionally abusive women. But I'm starting to think it's more because many women in general (of the type that I like) often do or have done plenty of whoreish/manipulative shit and I'm too good at sniffing that stuff out nowadays. What do you guys think? Should I stop being a hypocrite and accept that the girls I hang out with are just as bad as me? How do you guys feel about the girls in your life and their (if they have it) sluttiness? I have a very good friend who's been having sex all over the place between relationships to compensate the loss. Of course that makes finding a long term partner difficult if you jump the sheets so quickly. I never had any problems with her varying sexual partners but we're friends and who am I to judge? So if you like your friends and they are fine with quite literally fucking around and not in a spiral down the drain because of their personal life, why should you care? Maybe I misunderstood your question or sth. but I don't see why this should affect you? I wholeheartedly disagree with women being more slutty/whoreish in general (same for men), but your experience might differ. Still the way you approach poeple, your experience who to approach with high success and so on can be quite a good filter which might limit the your matches to certain groups who you vibe with. To your initial paragraphs, do you think you can support her struggle against insecurity? E.g. inasmuch as suggesting therapy in some way or just talk about it if she wants? Just waiting and trying to harvest the fruits is too passive a approach in my opinion. Being invested at least a bit gives you insight in how real the change is so you are not suprised by a strong facade with a weak and insecure interior. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Girl 1: We met and we had sex, would like to continue to have sex with her, but I wouldn't want a relationship with her, she is too young for my taste and not my type personality wise. I've made it clear I was not interested in something serious. Girl 2: I have only met her once as well, however we're doing more of a casual dating thing at the moment, no 'netflix and chill' that is. I think there is potential for something more serious here, although I'm still fairly uncertain if we will click. My dilemma is that I feel it would be kind of wrong to continue sleeping with girl number 1 if I start sleeping with girl number 2 as well. However, I don't really see anything wrong with sleeping with girl 1 if me and girl 2 haven't started having sex yet. I also don't want to put all my eggs in one basket and exclusively date girl number 2 as it could easily fall apart. What are your opinions on the matter? | ||
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Velr
Switzerland10884 Posts
If not, make a choice. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
You didn't state you're committed or anything, just date both. Be open if she asks | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
Also no shame in driving on both lanes as long as there are neither expectations nor commitment. | ||
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