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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
crimethinking
Profile Joined February 2015
Vietnam765 Posts
October 27 2015 22:36 GMT
#14581
On October 28 2015 07:10 LemOn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 27 2015 22:50 crimethinking wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:45 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:19 crimethinking wrote:
Date was rad. She expected just a lunch then home, we ended up having a good time at the museum, then found a university chapel that played classical music that day.

Then she stopped replying to my text message. Singular, because I only texted her once. "how did your day go?".

This is confusing.


How long ago did you text her?

Maybe she's, like, busy.

12 hours ago. Maybe.

Seriously guys, why'd you do this to yourself, I don't get it! You had a great time..in person, why'd you ask her that and.move into texting. "hey girl, I'd love to see you, what day r u free to get together again?" send. All you have to do and should text to any.girl who.takes her time to reply or.is.at all flaky.

Lesson learned senpai. Will apply later tonight after I'm done with work.
ktrolster | OMG | worldelite
Luepert
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States1933 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-12-11 23:28:40
October 27 2015 23:05 GMT
#14582
edit
esports
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
October 27 2015 23:45 GMT
#14583
You kissed her?
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45762 Posts
October 28 2015 01:44 GMT
#14584
On October 28 2015 07:10 LemOn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 27 2015 22:50 crimethinking wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:45 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:19 crimethinking wrote:
Date was rad. She expected just a lunch then home, we ended up having a good time at the museum, then found a university chapel that played classical music that day.

Then she stopped replying to my text message. Singular, because I only texted her once. "how did your day go?".

This is confusing.


How long ago did you text her?

Maybe she's, like, busy.

12 hours ago. Maybe.

Seriously guys, why'd you do this to yourself, I don't get it! You had a great time..in person, why'd you ask her that and.move into texting. "hey girl, I'd love to see you, what day r u free to get together again?" send. All you have to do and should text to any.girl who.takes her time to reply or.is.at all flaky.


Boys and girls who use proper spelling are sexy though.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45762 Posts
October 28 2015 01:45 GMT
#14585
On October 28 2015 08:05 Luepert wrote:
So I guess I'm dating homework girl now. We were talking on skype and she just kind of mentions that we are dating so that's good. I guess it just sort of happens like that. Having not been in a relationship before I didn't really know what it would be like when one starts. Turns out if you both just like each other you can be in a relationship. There's not like any process or paperwork.


Wait you mean you haven't signed the contract yet? Or taken the blood oath?

We were talking on skype and she just kind of mentions that we are dating so that's good.


I laughed way too hard at the casual acknowledgement of this XD
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
crimethinking
Profile Joined February 2015
Vietnam765 Posts
October 28 2015 02:29 GMT
#14586
On October 28 2015 10:44 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 28 2015 07:10 LemOn wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:50 crimethinking wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:45 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:19 crimethinking wrote:
Date was rad. She expected just a lunch then home, we ended up having a good time at the museum, then found a university chapel that played classical music that day.

Then she stopped replying to my text message. Singular, because I only texted her once. "how did your day go?".

This is confusing.


How long ago did you text her?

Maybe she's, like, busy.

12 hours ago. Maybe.

Seriously guys, why'd you do this to yourself, I don't get it! You had a great time..in person, why'd you ask her that and.move into texting. "hey girl, I'd love to see you, what day r u free to get together again?" send. All you have to do and should text to any.girl who.takes her time to reply or.is.at all flaky.


Boys and girls who use proper spelling are sexy though.

Then I should start texting you. I use Oxford commas, and check everything through a spell checker before I hit send.
ktrolster | OMG | worldelite
LeeDawg
Profile Joined April 2012
United States1306 Posts
October 28 2015 02:57 GMT
#14587
On October 28 2015 08:05 Luepert wrote:
So I guess I'm dating homework girl now. We were talking on skype and she just kind of mentions that we are dating so that's good. I guess it just sort of happens like that. Having not been in a relationship before I didn't really know what it would be like when one starts. Turns out if you both just like each other you can be in a relationship. There's not like any process or paperwork.


This is the most important realization you can make my friend.
:-)
crimethinking
Profile Joined February 2015
Vietnam765 Posts
October 28 2015 03:50 GMT
#14588
My insider told me that my target said that the date was perfect. Perfect locations and everything. But she said that the way I talked ended the conversation too quickly. When she asked me questions, I would just answer them thoroughly and not asking anything back, killing the conversation.

DPB pls send help.
ktrolster | OMG | worldelite
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
October 28 2015 03:56 GMT
#14589
This post may help you out a lot - it goes on about conversation threading. It allows you to keep conversations going naturally. Reading it, something clicked in my head and I was like "I've been so stupid for so long."
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
October 28 2015 03:56 GMT
#14590
On October 28 2015 10:45 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 28 2015 08:05 Luepert wrote:
So I guess I'm dating homework girl now. We were talking on skype and she just kind of mentions that we are dating so that's good. I guess it just sort of happens like that. Having not been in a relationship before I didn't really know what it would be like when one starts. Turns out if you both just like each other you can be in a relationship. There's not like any process or paperwork.


Wait you mean you haven't signed the contract yet? Or taken the blood oath?

Show nested quote +
We were talking on skype and she just kind of mentions that we are dating so that's good.


I laughed way too hard at the casual acknowledgement of this XD

This was funny.
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
October 28 2015 04:02 GMT
#14591
Sounds like you are a bad conversationalist or she just didn't like you and gave that as a reason, or both. It's fixable.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
crimethinking
Profile Joined February 2015
Vietnam765 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-28 04:04:25
October 28 2015 04:04 GMT
#14592
On October 28 2015 13:02 IgnE wrote:
Sounds like you are a bad conversationalist or she just didn't like you and gave that as a reason, or both. It's fixable.

I don't disagree that I'm a bad conversationalist. Outside of my specialization (technical stuff), I don't do fluff/filler talk most of the time.
ktrolster | OMG | worldelite
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
October 28 2015 04:13 GMT
#14593
It's usually hard to get people to like you if you are bad at conversation.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
October 28 2015 07:58 GMT
#14594
On October 28 2015 10:44 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 28 2015 07:10 LemOn wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:50 crimethinking wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:45 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:19 crimethinking wrote:
Date was rad. She expected just a lunch then home, we ended up having a good time at the museum, then found a university chapel that played classical music that day.

Then she stopped replying to my text message. Singular, because I only texted her once. "how did your day go?".

This is confusing.


How long ago did you text her?

Maybe she's, like, busy.

12 hours ago. Maybe.

Seriously guys, why'd you do this to yourself, I don't get it! You had a great time..in person, why'd you ask her that and.move into texting. "hey girl, I'd love to see you, what day r u free to get together again?" send. All you have to do and should text to any.girl who.takes her time to reply or.is.at all flaky.


Boys and girls who use proper spelling are sexy though.

I'd like to see you spell nice drunk on the phone. On the Subway :D
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45762 Posts
October 28 2015 10:17 GMT
#14595
On October 28 2015 11:29 crimethinking wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 28 2015 10:44 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On October 28 2015 07:10 LemOn wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:50 crimethinking wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:45 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On October 27 2015 22:19 crimethinking wrote:
Date was rad. She expected just a lunch then home, we ended up having a good time at the museum, then found a university chapel that played classical music that day.

Then she stopped replying to my text message. Singular, because I only texted her once. "how did your day go?".

This is confusing.


How long ago did you text her?

Maybe she's, like, busy.

12 hours ago. Maybe.

Seriously guys, why'd you do this to yourself, I don't get it! You had a great time..in person, why'd you ask her that and.move into texting. "hey girl, I'd love to see you, what day r u free to get together again?" send. All you have to do and should text to any.girl who.takes her time to reply or.is.at all flaky.


Boys and girls who use proper spelling are sexy though.

Then I should start texting you. I use Oxford commas, and check everything through a spell checker before I hit send.


Mmmmmm.... Sometimes, when I wish to separate two independent clauses, I use semi-colons in my text messages. Correctly.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
crimethinking
Profile Joined February 2015
Vietnam765 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-28 13:52:00
October 28 2015 13:50 GMT
#14596
Just realized that talking in non-native language is hard.

I speak and understand English fluently, but I'm ten times better at holding a conversation in Vietnamese than in English. Meanings are lost when translation between languages happens. My date spoke Chinese natively, I spoke Vietnamese natively, we resolved to English to talk, and it did not pan out well.
ktrolster | OMG | worldelite
maybenexttime
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Poland5806 Posts
October 28 2015 14:07 GMT
#14597
On October 28 2015 22:50 crimethinking wrote:
Just realized that talking in non-native language is hard.

I speak and understand English fluently, but I'm ten times better at holding a conversation in Vietnamese than in English. Meanings are lost when translation between languages happens. My date spoke Chinese natively, I spoke Vietnamese natively, we resolved to English to talk, and it did not pan out well.


Are you translating from Vietnamese when talking in English?
crimethinking
Profile Joined February 2015
Vietnam765 Posts
October 28 2015 14:16 GMT
#14598
On October 28 2015 23:07 maybenexttime wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 28 2015 22:50 crimethinking wrote:
Just realized that talking in non-native language is hard.

I speak and understand English fluently, but I'm ten times better at holding a conversation in Vietnamese than in English. Meanings are lost when translation between languages happens. My date spoke Chinese natively, I spoke Vietnamese natively, we resolved to English to talk, and it did not pan out well.


Are you translating from Vietnamese when talking in English?

Not entirely. Most of the thoughts and the speaking are fully English, but sometimes I still resolve to thinking in Vietnamese. And my English, in terms of both thoughts and speaking, does not have the same flair as my Vietnamese.
ktrolster | OMG | worldelite
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-28 14:54:50
October 28 2015 14:51 GMT
#14599
On October 28 2015 22:50 crimethinking wrote:
Just realized that talking in non-native language is hard.

I speak and understand English fluently, but I'm ten times better at holding a conversation in Vietnamese than in English. Meanings are lost when translation between languages happens. My date spoke Chinese natively, I spoke Vietnamese natively, we resolved to English to talk, and it did not pan out well.

Me and my girl are actually fully bi-lingual in most conversations, swapping Czech and English as it feels right, often mid-sentence.
But it just takes practice really, just use English more, maybe try to get friends that speak it who're learning Vietnamese ? You can help each other out.

We are confusing as hell to outsiders though, it's funny
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
October 28 2015 18:52 GMT
#14600
Awwww yiss, what a day!

Sold my stocks today just before the collapse (went down ~40%), but not only that - the date went awesome!
We started making bread, talked a lot. Then went to my room and sat together in my bed watching a few episodes of Rick and Morty. I had the window open so she got cold, not sure if that was a hint for me to make a move since I just sat really close to her before but we sat under the cover and I had my arms around her. She has this little laugh she does sometimes, adorable as fuck. Kissed her goodbye and she told me to let her know when I had time again.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
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