|
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 04 2014 08:08 arb wrote:
So I met this Asian girl online earlier today, after a bit of talking(mostly me asking questions about Asian culture to compare to what this other girl i know told me) she asks to text/kik or whatever.
beat around the bush and find out shes single. How long does one wait before asking someone out to do something?
I would have done right on the spot upon finding out that she is single by playfully asking her whether or not that she wants to stay single or is she currently seeking someone.
If former, I would further ask her for the reason and if she have bad bfs in the past or looking for a fling. If former, you can say that you are glad to discuss it with coffee.
If later, then it's good for you and you can follow it up by asking her about her schedule.
As of now, you should do it when you are the most energetic by ask to hang out. Don't say date, it's too old fashioned and hanging out makes the girl less nervous. Then it it up to you to bring romance into the actual meetup.
Tell us how it goes!
|
On July 04 2014 08:20 Xiphos wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 08:08 arb wrote:
So I met this Asian girl online earlier today, after a bit of talking(mostly me asking questions about Asian culture to compare to what this other girl i know told me) she asks to text/kik or whatever.
beat around the bush and find out shes single. How long does one wait before asking someone out to do something? I would have done right on the spot upon finding out that she is single by playfully asking her whether or not that she wants to stay single or is she currently seeking someone. If former, I would further ask her for the reason and if she have bad bfs in the past or looking for a fling. If former, you can say that you are glad to discuss it with coffee. If later, then it's good for you and you can follow it up by asking her about her schedule. As of now, you should do it when you are the most energetic by ask to hang out. Don't say date, it's too old fashioned and hanging out makes the girl less nervous. Then it it up to you to bring romance into the actual meetup. Tell us how it goes!
She said she is not interested in a relationship, i told her i was interested in finding friends/hanging out anyways.
She said she'd enjoy hanging out in general but doesnt want to come this far. which it is a far drive in general so i guess i can understand that.
Of course I'm not gonna ask about anything sexual bc thats creepy but i dunno.
|
On July 04 2014 08:28 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 08:20 Xiphos wrote:On July 04 2014 08:08 arb wrote:
So I met this Asian girl online earlier today, after a bit of talking(mostly me asking questions about Asian culture to compare to what this other girl i know told me) she asks to text/kik or whatever.
beat around the bush and find out shes single. How long does one wait before asking someone out to do something? I would have done right on the spot upon finding out that she is single by playfully asking her whether or not that she wants to stay single or is she currently seeking someone. If former, I would further ask her for the reason and if she have bad bfs in the past or looking for a fling. If former, you can say that you are glad to discuss it with coffee. If later, then it's good for you and you can follow it up by asking her about her schedule. As of now, you should do it when you are the most energetic by ask to hang out. Don't say date, it's too old fashioned and hanging out makes the girl less nervous. Then it it up to you to bring romance into the actual meetup. Tell us how it goes! She said she is not interested in a relationship, i told her i was interested in finding friends/hanging out anyways. She said she'd enjoy hanging out in general but doesnt want to come this far. which it is a far drive in general so i guess i can understand that. Of course I'm not gonna ask about anything sexual bc thats creepy but i dunno.
Meet up midway. It's 20 mins.
|
Sounds like she shot you down. Best move on with your life then.
|
On July 04 2014 08:37 IgnE wrote:
Sounds like she shot you down. Best move on with your life then.
I'm liking this guy. Such brutally. Hahah
|
On July 04 2014 08:28 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 08:20 Xiphos wrote:On July 04 2014 08:08 arb wrote:
So I met this Asian girl online earlier today, after a bit of talking(mostly me asking questions about Asian culture to compare to what this other girl i know told me) she asks to text/kik or whatever.
beat around the bush and find out shes single. How long does one wait before asking someone out to do something? I would have done right on the spot upon finding out that she is single by playfully asking her whether or not that she wants to stay single or is she currently seeking someone. If former, I would further ask her for the reason and if she have bad bfs in the past or looking for a fling. If former, you can say that you are glad to discuss it with coffee. If later, then it's good for you and you can follow it up by asking her about her schedule. As of now, you should do it when you are the most energetic by ask to hang out. Don't say date, it's too old fashioned and hanging out makes the girl less nervous. Then it it up to you to bring romance into the actual meetup. Tell us how it goes! She said she is not interested in a relationship, i told her i was interested in finding friends/hanging out anyways. She said she'd enjoy hanging out in general but doesnt want to come this far. which it is a far drive in general so i guess i can understand that. Of course I'm not gonna ask about anything sexual bc thats creepy but i dunno.
It's not super specifically aimed at you but in general I really hate being direct about something like "Are you looking for a relationship?", I think it's a really dumb question no matter what you're aiming for.
If she interprets as you coming on to her (before you actually worked to get her attracted) she's gonna shoot you down and make advancing awkward. If she welcomes it she still might not be super direct about it just to make her seem "not easy". It just puts you in an awkward spot where "yes" means definitely yes but "no" is very rarely super definitive.
It's like asking "Are you looking for casual sex?" - sure there will be women who will straight up say yes and the whole deal is done but the vast majority who'd be up for it would still answer straight up "no" to such a super direct approach if done too early and under the wrong circumstances.
If anything be subtle about it and ask about things that you value in a relationship to figure out if she has similar values. If you both would kill for being woken up with coffee and love snuggling in thick blankets while it's raining outside you're forming awesome images, you're figuring out things about each other and you're in the middle of topics you wouldn't discuss with any random stranger. It makes the whole deal less about a checklist that seemingly influences your future actions.
As usual - have fun together, don't forget to be sexual when you'd like to be sexual with her and let your actions define the relationship unless asked to clarify it verbally.
|
On July 04 2014 08:37 IgnE wrote:
Sounds like she shot you down. Best move on with your life then.
I didnt ask her if she wanted one, i just kinda asked if she was single, cause in general its weird for me to talk to someone who is in a relationship(exact words) to which she said, no but shes not looking for one but is kinda looking to hang out and stuff
so idk.
|
if 40min travel is to much to meet you she is not interested tbh.
|
On July 04 2014 08:58 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 08:37 IgnE wrote:
Sounds like she shot you down. Best move on with your life then. I didnt ask her if she wanted one, i just kinda asked if she was single, cause in general its weird for me to talk to someone who is in a relationship(exact words) to which she said, no but shes not looking for one but is kinda looking to hang out and stuff so idk.
Then later she said that it's a far drive.
Perhaps you got cockblocked by logistics.
I mean listen any guy can legally bang any girls if he puts the effort and the words. In this case you just have to look at the costs and the profits. Is she worth it?
|
On July 04 2014 08:59 Xiphos wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 08:58 arb wrote:On July 04 2014 08:37 IgnE wrote:
Sounds like she shot you down. Best move on with your life then. I didnt ask her if she wanted one, i just kinda asked if she was single, cause in general its weird for me to talk to someone who is in a relationship(exact words) to which she said, no but shes not looking for one but is kinda looking to hang out and stuff so idk. Then later she said that it's a far drive. Perhaps you got cockblocked by logistics.
Well she also said she doesnt have a car later if tht means anything.
I mean its not like ive been "omg we should totally hang out" infact i havent really mentioned it, i brought up distance when she said where she lived, its closer to an hour i guess depending on if you go the speed limit or not, which id ont usually so its not as long of a drive for me.
If she isnt interested then its whatever i guess lol.
|
Why is everybody here so negative? All he wanted to know is when to ask whether she wants to hang out. Asap.
If she says she isn't interested, then forget it, but just send her a message and see if she wants to hang out (as long as you drive there, or meet in the middle somewhere).
|
Canada11439 Posts
On July 04 2014 01:14 Adrian_mx wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 01:11 Gorsameth wrote:On July 04 2014 01:09 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 04 2014 00:58 ComaDose wrote:
im surprised and impressed with the answer's to adrian's question, and with him after his last response.
edit: cept Xiphos naturally Im also very suprised about the answers, I wouldve never expected it, i thought most males would use violence etc. why the.. She is an adult cuddling with someone. How is there anything wrong with that and why on earth would you use violence Oo I meant seeing a stranger in your household, being a male wouldnt you grab him and throw him out ? I know where Im from alot of brothers/dads would do so. 19 isnt an adult tbh.. 21 is.
Are you actually from Canada? Because age of majority is 18 or 19 depending on which province.
|
Heck, arb, that sounds kind of positive. "I'm not in a relationship, but I'm down to hang out" wink-wink, huge hint maybe?
And thank you GreenHorizons.
|
On July 04 2014 09:03 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 08:59 Xiphos wrote:On July 04 2014 08:58 arb wrote:On July 04 2014 08:37 IgnE wrote:
Sounds like she shot you down. Best move on with your life then. I didnt ask her if she wanted one, i just kinda asked if she was single, cause in general its weird for me to talk to someone who is in a relationship(exact words) to which she said, no but shes not looking for one but is kinda looking to hang out and stuff so idk. Then later she said that it's a far drive. Perhaps you got cockblocked by logistics. Well she also said she doesnt have a car later if tht means anything. I mean its not like ive been "omg we should totally hang out" infact i havent really mentioned it, i brought up distance when she said where she lived, its closer to an hour i guess depending on if you go the speed limit or not, which id ont usually so its not as long of a drive for me. If she isnt interested then its whatever i guess lol.
If she is still talking to you (particularly initiating conversations) chances are she was embarrassed or whatever about not having a car, and she wants to be picked up.
But she may also just want to be picked up so she can find a guy who will run errands for/with her. Ass, gas or grass was always my motto. Not completely literally, but if she is looking for a ride and not a relationship she better have more than some insight on Asian culture to offer (unless thats enough for you?).
But if she is only responding when you text and would go days/weeks without talking otherwise, I'd say don't waste your time.
|
Went on blind date Monday night. Seemed really into me. At the end of the date she asked if we were going to go out again. Before i gave an answer she looked absolutely terrified i might say, nah lol. But i explained it would be next week because of holiday weekend i'm traveling. She seemed happy again. We departed.
I sent her a text yesterday along with a picture (not a dick pick just a innocent joke pic).. No response. wtf
|
On July 04 2014 10:43 Amnesty wrote:
Went on blind date Monday night. Seemed really into me. At the end of the date she asked if we were going to go out again. Before i gave an answer she looked absolutely terrified i might say, nah lol. But i explained it would be next week because of holiday weekend i'm traveling. She seemed happy again. We departed.
I sent her a text yesterday along with a picture (not a dick pick just a innocent joke pic).. No response. wtf
She might just not like texting or have her phone with her that often, or maybe she didn't know what to say then as time went on it was more awkward for her to respond so she just didn't.
|
On July 04 2014 10:43 Amnesty wrote:
Went on blind date Monday night. Seemed really into me. At the end of the date she asked if we were going to go out again. Before i gave an answer she looked absolutely terrified i might say, nah lol. But i explained it would be next week because of holiday weekend i'm traveling. She seemed happy again. We departed.
I sent her a text yesterday along with a picture (not a dick pick just a innocent joke pic).. No response. wtf
Just chill, could be that she doesn't pay a lot of attention to her phone.
Or that she read the message, got distracted on forgot about it,happens to me sometimes.
No reason to wtf yet 
|
On July 04 2014 10:52 Cynry wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 10:43 Amnesty wrote:
Went on blind date Monday night. Seemed really into me. At the end of the date she asked if we were going to go out again. Before i gave an answer she looked absolutely terrified i might say, nah lol. But i explained it would be next week because of holiday weekend i'm traveling. She seemed happy again. We departed.
I sent her a text yesterday along with a picture (not a dick pick just a innocent joke pic).. No response. wtf
Just chill, could be that she doesn't pay a lot of attention to her phone. Or that she read the message, got distracted on forgot about it,happens to me sometimes. No reason to wtf yet
Agreed. She wouldn't have brought up the topic of a 2nd date if she didn't want one to happen, otherwise why bring it up at all if she was gonna say no to it if you asked.
She might've just forgot about it, or it doesn't load on her phone maybe or something else who knows. Don't worry bro.
|
On July 04 2014 08:08 arb wrote:
So I met this Asian girl online earlier today, after a bit of talking(mostly me asking questions about Asian culture to compare to what this other girl i know told me) she asks to text/kik or whatever.
beat around the bush and find out shes single. How long does one wait before asking someone out to do something?
It seems like she's at least interested in learning more about you so go for it! gl
Also this is dumb but what does kik stand for?
|
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
On July 04 2014 14:51 Titusmaster6 wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2014 08:08 arb wrote:
So I met this Asian girl online earlier today, after a bit of talking(mostly me asking questions about Asian culture to compare to what this other girl i know told me) she asks to text/kik or whatever.
beat around the bush and find out shes single. How long does one wait before asking someone out to do something? It seems like she's at least interested in learning more about you so go for it! gl Also this is dumb but what does kik stand for?
Kik is a messenger app
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
