Dating: How's your luck? - Page 43
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
lingboy87
United States41 Posts
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skipgamer
Australia701 Posts
My ideal date would be dinner and a conversation about all these things, but for most girls my age (24) it comes down to travelling, work, crappy pop-music, tv shows, the local sports team, the weather... Boring, dull, lame, annoying stuff. I don't blame them though, everybody thinks differently and I know my interests are indeed niche, so finding someone who's interested in the same stuff (without being patronising and pretending to be interested) is rare. I just don't waste my (and their) time pretending to be that guy they want me to be. I did when I was a bit younger, 17-20... I did all that dating, sex, one night stand, casual sex stuff... And yeah, it's been 4 years since, I don't really miss it, porn does the trick. Anyway, on to the worst date. The plan was go in to the city, see a movie, then go back to hers, go out to a club that she likes with her friends, then take it from there... Movie was the happening, possibly the worst movie ever, bored the whole time, and she wasn't really interested in any other distracting activities. Anyway, I spotted a tattoo on her shoulder. Thought I could ask her about it later, could be a good talking point. Turns out I had already asked her about it when we first met (I was drunk and had forgotten.) Awkward silence followed that for quite some time. Anyway, after a while of "how's this weather hey?" and "how about that local sports team?" we went back to her place. Had fun for a while, it was actually good, until her friends showed up... Two girls and a guy, the girls were absolutely stunning; beautiful; sexy; incredible... Needless to say I could hardly keep my eyes off them. And the guy was one of their boyfriends, recently back from Africa, or Europe, some crazy place and had heaps of stories to tell. Needless to say I ended up basically sitting in the corner, not literally but practically. Too shy / worried about what my date would think to even look at the girls, and too boring to speak on even keel with the guy. I think the most interesting discussion we had was politics... Yep, politics... Anyway, downed some drink (things got better then, they always do) and off to the clubs we go! Anddddd, turned out I left my I.D at home. Fail, they didn't want me to leave though, so 3 clubs later we found one that would let me in... Alright, at the club! Time to down some more drinks! A few beers later and things were alright, then came the "let's dance." Man, was I out of my element... RnB music, F my life. I'll give it a go anyway I thought, maybe if I can find someone to sell me a pill I'll be really at home and the night will just drift away. I found someone eventually, and then bam, everything was a blur. Next thing I knew it was 3 in the morning. Apparantly the guy friend of my date and I were hitting on random girls all night, while my date was trying to find a guy for one of her friends... She found a guy for her friend anyway, and he was tagging along to stay at my dates place... When we got back we all went to bed and I basically had the worst sex of my life, I never knew the meaning of starfish until this night. She did not move, at all. I might as well have been having sex with a blow-up doll. Anyway, after 1/2 hour of that, I feigned an orgasm and tried to go to sleep. But could I? No.. Being kept awake by the sounds of multiple people having sex in the house is probably the worse thing ever... Next thing I knew the sun was coming up and I left. So yeah, that was probably the worse one. I think I drunk texted her when I was desperate a few times after that, caught up once for coffee, either way, we basically had the same opinion of "never again." Worst, date, ever. (well there were worse ones, but this was the worst of the mildly interesting dates that are worth a story anyway.) There was actually a date I was on once where a girl found out during the date that I had slept with someone else the night I had met her at a party. But the date itself was actually pretty good up until that point. Oh, or the time I thought I was going on a date, but half way through she was like "ummm, you know this is just a friends thing right, not a date?" Ah, and how could we forget the time my car broke down on the way to the restaurant! Or, the time I had an awesome reservation booked at a very fancy restaurant but I accidentally forgot to leave the work keys at work so I had to drive back to work, then back to the date (2 hour trip in total) and missed our reservation... I dunno, my dates are just disasters and compounded by my lack of social skills... Hope you found some comfort in my sadness OP. Oh, I nearly forgot, on your second point about relationships, girl I was dating for about 6 months left me for one of my closest mates at the time... And how did she tell me? On MySpace. Dumped on MySpace... Yep, happened to me! Ahhh, how could I forget, another bad relationship... I was dating a girl, but I ended up meeting her sister one day and we really hit it off... I ended up dating her sister, and everything was going fine as far as I knew. A good 6 months later she broke up with me, no warning, no nothing... Turns out the first sister I was dating ended up doing some self-harm stuff and blamed me, so the second sister "had" to break up with me. That was all a pretty shitty situation. | ||
xUnSeEnx
United States183 Posts
My experience has been horrible, I have had three relationships in my life and all ended horribly. Now with that said, (I really would prefer not to get in details), it in essence made me stronger and more wiser than the average age group I am in. It makes me think if the person I am going for is really a good decision or not. I find myself second guessing my judgments a lot but this honestly came about because of how many times I have gotten hurt, etc. I just try not to take dating and relationships to heart anymore, at least until I am done with college. I find there is plenty of time to date and have a relationship and I just do not feel like rushing into something I will regret down the road again. Hopefully this will help a few of you who are indeed having issues. | ||
Gracksaurusrex
United Kingdom171 Posts
6th Form:0 Just started uni Not really bothered about dating at the moment, I dont feel any pressure at all to have a girlfriend At this exact moment in time I cant really afford one Maybe once I am settled completely into uni i will think about it. One time I got with a Chinese girl in a club. She was ridiculusly fridgid. Met up with her once. The most awkward thing ever. Never seen her again. | ||
annul
United States2841 Posts
i have lots of casual sex though! | ||
Hynda
Sweden2226 Posts
On December 08 2011 02:10 annul wrote: i dont go on dates. i believe monogamy is harmful. i am very poly. i have lots of casual sex though! I feel sad for you ![]() | ||
Fnatic.SaSe
Sweden29 Posts
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ggahSoO
United States191 Posts
On December 08 2011 02:30 SaSe wrote: Met a girl in Korea, she asked what I was doing I said progamer. She said "wow I play terran". I grabbed her hand, looked into her eyes and said "this is never gonna work". Then I left. SaSe ilu so much right now | ||
mierin
United States4943 Posts
On December 08 2011 02:30 SaSe wrote: Met a girl in Korea, she asked what I was doing I said progamer. She said "wow I play terran". I grabbed her hand, looked into her eyes and said "this is never gonna work". Then I left. Hahahahaha | ||
Nivoh
Norway259 Posts
On December 08 2011 02:30 SaSe wrote: Met a girl in Korea, she asked what I was doing I said progamer. She said "wow I play terran". I grabbed her hand, looked into her eyes and said "this is never gonna work". Then I left. Hi SaSe! Sincerely, your (newly attained) biggest fan. | ||
Rye.
United Kingdom88 Posts
On December 08 2011 02:30 SaSe wrote: Met a girl in Korea, she asked what I was doing I said progamer. She said "wow I play terran". I grabbed her hand, looked into her eyes and said "this is never gonna work". Then I left. Ahh what a-move. Its obvious that her apm in the sack would be too high for you to cope with. | ||
Superouman
France2195 Posts
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Roeder
Denmark735 Posts
On December 08 2011 02:30 SaSe wrote: Met a girl in Korea, she asked what I was doing I said progamer. She said "wow I play terran". I grabbed her hand, looked into her eyes and said "this is never gonna work". Then I left. Doesn't matter. She scanned right through you anyway! | ||
Sitinte
United States499 Posts
I've pretty much led a sheltered life; my mom would always drive the point home where at my age in life (middle/high school when she constantly lectured me about this) that my education was first and foremost and pretty much put me on lockdown. So I entered college with very little, if any experience on how to behave/talk to girls... well, my stories start from before then. Each of them are long posts, so I expect tl;drs. Girl #1 + Show Spoiler + Girl number one was a transfer student during high school; I was a senior and she was a sophomore. I never really got to know her initially since I was always either with people my grade or working. But eventually, we somehow got each other's information and hit it off pretty well. So eventually I worked up the courage to ask her to prom and to my surprise, she said yes and seemed pretty excited. Things looked up from then, since we would always be seen hanging out and having a good time. Now, I'm sure it can be seen as flirting, she there was physical contact, there was the usual hair tossing girls do and we would stay up late talking to one another. But one day, I was passing by when I heard a group of sophomores talking, you know, high school gossip drama bullshit whatever. I managed to overhear that she liked someone else, and my heart just immediately sank and I guessed as to who it was. I asked her friend about it (she was also a friend of mine) and turns out I was right. She was also interested in a guy in my grade who I personally thought was a prick and completely two-faced, as he was nice to girls who were cute/hot and a total wanker to everyone else, including his parents (for example, I've seen him curse at and insult his mom for picking him up from a basketball game cause she thought he would be tired). And being testosterone fueled, and being in the full retard high school mode, we confronted one another and would have fought if it weren't for our friends breaking it up before the fight happened. Shit went downhill from there as she got pissed at me for interfering with her business. Threatened to never talk to me again and usual shit. One point, she got extra pissed cause I asked to hang out with her, and when I called it a "date", she flipped the shit out (isn't hanging out 1 on 1 with the opposite gender classified as a date, regardless of friendship or relationship?). But the kicker is that she still had the prom ticket I gave her. So fast forward the dramatic bullshit and we get to prom night. I try to be as civil as I can, and for the most part, she is too. At this point, I go without any real expectations and just want to have fun. I didn't expect it, but she not only refused a dance but kept waiting for the other guy to appear (his limo got lost for an hour). So at this point, I say fuck it and have fun with my other female friends who didn't have a date (which was half the grade since the guys lacked the courage to ask them out). Later on, I find out that she went to the after-party with him early on and she left her bag. She texts me and explicitly ORDERS me to get her bag for her. Not so much as a please or a thank you. I'm pretty sure a majority of people would have left the bag there but because I didn't want to stoop to her level, I just brought the bag and gave it to her and proceeded to get wasted and have fun. Turns out the morning after that she slept with the guy. Her brother found out from one of my friends and he ratted her out to their mom and she got a beatdown. At this point, I couldn't really have cared either way. I was just ready to graduate and move on. We still talk now and then, since I've moved on from the entire incident and just see her as a junior. Wouldn't date her, though. Never, ever. Girl #2 + Show Spoiler + I met girl 2 in my freshman year of college. Met her through the guys in my hallway; she would always come over from halfway across campus just to chill and have fun. She wasn't the most attractive girl but she was cute enough and fun to be around. There was playful bantering whenever we interacted and stuff and the guys around would pretty much say that they didn't go after her because I had already "bagged" her. They told me to go after her, which I agreed with at this point, seeing as how we were always spending time together. Hah. One night, as we were just lying there, I asked her, and she said she wasn't looking for a relationship. Arrow to the I would constantly ask her about it over the next week, and in retrospect, it was harassment. I was a complete jerk and a spoiled brat for getting frustrated about not getting what I wanted, and I don't blame her for getting angry with me. We ended on a bad note, where we just exploded on each other and never spoke to each other again. I still see here from time to time on campus but we don't say hi anymore or anything, even though it's been three years. I don't blame her. I'm still trying to apologize, without any ulterior motives, because I am genuinely sorry for ruining a friendship like that. Somewhat surprisingly though, she still maintains her not looking for a relationship outlook. Props for being consistent. Girl #3 + Show Spoiler + So after a relatively calm sophomore year after two years in turmoil, girl #3 comes along in my junior year. I had known her from my Japanese class from a year back. Quiet girl; rarely spoke in class. I worked up my courage for three weeks and finally said hi to her during one of our breaks (since the Japanese class was double period). We got along really well, and it turned out she lived in the building one of my juniors from high school lived in. But at the time, she had a boyfriend down South, in Washington D.C., so I didn't really say anything. She broke up several months after that, but I didn't make a move yet, cause this was a relationship she seemed to be hurting from, and I didn't want to be a rebound. We really hit it off during one of the school's events (Humans vs Zombies), and we would go on dates together, eating out and talking for hours after we finished eating, only leaving when it was time for class. The texting was pretty borderline NSFW as well, and she would call after midnight often. The flirting was pretty blatant as well. Out of the three so far, I really felt the chemistry on this one. Wrong again. Surprise, surprise. After Halloween, we talked less and less, and whereas it was a 1:1 ratio of how much either of us would initiate the conversation/date; I found myself doing the seeking out 80% of the time. I found out from my junior that she was depressed at the time, and that she had rejected another guy two weeks prior. I was at a loss as to what to do, so I tried to find good times to talk to her. Except none of the times were good for her, and eventually, I just gave up entirely and ended it with "hey, I'll let you sort things out. I still care, and want you to know that, so if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, I'm here." I think that was the most sensible thing I could have done, and the best handled compared to the other two. We're still on good terms with one another, even if we talked only once in the past eight months, which is understandable, since she graduated and has a job and is constantly traveling. Final girl + Show Spoiler + This girl is current. And as such, it's the shortest one. It started a few weeks ago, over Thanksgiving break, when I was looking for a ride home since I didn't have money for the train and my lifeline (my sister) decided she wanted to go home early without notifying me. I got an offer from a friend who was heading into the city. It turned out he was driving someone else home. It was some freshman girl who I've seen around on campus and in the dorms, but never really paid much attention to. There was a lot of traffic, seeing as how it was a combination of being rush hour, Thanksgiving break, and the weather was bad. It took half an hour just to get to the University's exit. And because I didn't want to make the girl feel awkward, I initiated the conversation (my friend is a nice guy, but as socially awkward as you can get). We managed to talk for three hours, with her laughing at every other thing I said (and I wasn't trying to be funny; she just has a really good sense of humor which is always a plus). She had a lot of qualities I valued in a girl; independent, honest, raised with rules and morale and a really good sense of humor. A very pretty smile as well. Now what's the catch? She's transferring out of the school after this semester. While that might not be a problem with modern day transportation being what it is, I absolutely have NO experience with long-distance relationships, let alone regular relationships. I only wish I was more active in the dorms and met her sooner, but it's as they say. C'est la vie. Not really all too broken up about this one, since whatever I was about to delude myself with was shot down before I got ahead of myself. So all in all, I've had plenty of dates, but no relationships. And quite honestly, I'm fine with that at this point. I'm just glad I got a taste of what dating is, and although I got screwed over or screwed myself over, I've learned that you value the good times with the girl you're with and learn from the bad times. It teaches you what type of girl you like, what your limitations are, what your personality is like and how you deal with the unexpected curveballs. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, because I have a lot more stuff to worry about, like financial aid, the fact that my grades aren't as up to par as I'd like them to be, and the lack of available jobs once winter break begins. Would being in one be beneficial? I think so, as I work much harder when I feel like someone is depending on me, but I just want to take everything in stride. If one comes along, then yay. If not, then well, I'm still young. Edit: Haha at SaSe. +1 to you. Edit 2: Final girl is taking like 20 credits right now and is bogged down for finals. No time whatsoever. That and she lives far upstate. | ||
ishboh
United States954 Posts
On December 08 2011 02:30 SaSe wrote: Met a girl in Korea, she asked what I was doing I said progamer. She said "wow I play terran". I grabbed her hand, looked into her eyes and said "this is never gonna work". Then I left. win. but seriously, in korea finding a girl that plays starcraft is probably a lot easier than here in the USA. I would have been fine with a gamer of any sort in that sort of situation ![]() | ||
BestZergOnEast
Canada358 Posts
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Disciple7
United States198 Posts
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Deleted User 183001
2939 Posts
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TotalNightmare
Germany139 Posts
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probob
Germany227 Posts
It all begins in the 12th grade of highschool where I met this girl who looked really beautiful and I wanted to date her. People in my class told me that she has a boyfriend since 7th grade but they have some problems. So I talk to her shes into me and we met at her place and have sex. Basically she tolds me she never had sex before with the other guy because it didnt work out. The other guy gets told what happened and is mad like hell, tells other people he wants to stab me and other crazy stuff like that. She turned out to be psycho and controlling too, so im in the middle of their weird relationship problems. 2 month later I see this even more beautiful asian girl in my class. We talk a little and became friends first. We then went to a party and this one drunk friend of mine keeps hugging her and lifting her up carrying her around stuff like that and I noticed that I get so mad jelous although I have no right to be jelous for a girl im not even with. So i tell her exactly that. We started going out and a few weeks later I dump the psycho girl for her. That was 2007. Since then Im with my girlfriend for nearly 5 years now and were very happy. But other people told me that the guy never got back with the first girl and got depressed over that and now never goes out and chills at home getting drunk all day. So what do you say TL? Is it my fault that this guy is so fucked or is it his own? | ||
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