Dating: How's your luck? - Page 1035

On December 06 2018 07:38 Simberto wrote:
I assume with "attached" you mean that she is in a relationship?

In that case, i would suggest being very clear. If you are interested in her in a way that you would be fine with her giving up her previous relationship, tell her that in very clear terms. Honesty is important, and if she is attached, the only thing that is in any way fair to everyone involved is for her to break up her previous relationship before starting one with you. If you do not want that, or she does not want that, then that is that.

Cheating sucks, and i don't think you should ever be the person that someone cheats with. A bit of sex is simply not worth compromising your own ethics that much.

This, of course, is personal ethics being discussed but for me if you date someone and they cheat I don't think that's unethical for you. The other person is cheating, not you. That's between their morals and them.

On December 06 2018 20:52 kaykaykay wrote:
Thanks for the responses, like i said, i'm very clear what i'm looking for and an ambiguous relationship is off the plate. even though she's very attractive and has hinted at sex.

On December 06 2018 18:56 Harris1st wrote:


Dunno. In my experience when she cheats with you on her boyfriend/ husband/ whatever you can expect her to cheat on you with the next best guy. Once a cheater, always a cheater

On December 06 2018 19:20 Salazarz wrote:


This is pretty silly. If you're okay sleeping with someone who is in another supposedly monogamous relationship, you're essentially accepting that cheating is totally fine and you're okay with it. Which some people are okay with, but trying to take the moral high ground by saying "I'm not the one cheating, it's the person I'm sleeping with" is kinda ridiculous.


And if you're looking for more than a fling, the 'success rate' for relationship that start off as affairs is in single digits, and it's really not hard to figure out why.

On December 06 2018 05:53 kaykaykay wrote:
There's this girl in University who i met from the same class as me.
She invited me to her yoga class, and seems really interested when we hung out.
We went drinking after and she clinged onto my arms on the way home, started massaging my hair etc.
At this point in time, i do notice some mutual attraction going on.

Thing is she's attached and I don't really want an ambiguous relationship. I do find her attractive though, what should I do?

On December 06 2018 05:53 kaykaykay wrote:
There's this girl in University who i met from the same class as me.
She invited me to her yoga class, and seems really interested when we hung out.
We went drinking after and she clinged onto my arms on the way home, started massaging my hair etc.
At this point in time, i do notice some mutual attraction going on.

Thing is she's attached and I don't really want an ambiguous relationship. I do find her attractive though, what should I do?

On December 12 2018 18:05 Malinor wrote:
I met this girl two times at sport competitions back in September and October. We talked quite a bit there, but I really did not think much of it. Mostly because she lives far away and is way younger than me.

She added me on FB later, which struck me a bit, because there is really no connection between us two and she only knew my first name.
(she later told me that she tracked me down over instagram). But since she has like 600+ FB-friends, I don't want to read too much into it.

I texted her one day which resulted in us writing the whole day. We have had like 8 phone calls in November, normally lasting 2-3 hours, but sometimes quite a bit longer.
And while she sometimes texted my by herself and I did not have to chase her, the phone calls were always initiated by me, which bothers me. It's like... I texted her if she has time and she immediately called me back,
so there was no dodging going on. But she would just never initiate it.

I finally asked her if we want to meet up sometime, and that resulted in a very open conversation about how this could prove to be extremely complicated given the distance and the age difference.
She was just very concerned about what happens if our meeting does not go well etc.... basically overthinking it a lot. I am sure there was some genuine interest, but she was not quiet there yet.

The next day I texted her sth. like: "Thanks for the talk, I don't know what happens now, but at the moment it is really cool with you". She replied with two one liners, saying she feels the same.
Two days later she texted me another one liner (without a question), and my answer was followed with another one liner without anything to keep the conversation going.

This is the point where I grew tired, because I just wanted her to start a conversation for once, so I did not reply. This was exactly one week ago and neither of us has made a move.
Now I am sitting here contemplating if I did the right thing or if I am just being extremely stupid in potentially letting her go. It is not that I fell madly in love with her, but I have this feeling that she would be very good for me (same hobbies, similar values, no problems in finding things to talk about) and I really, really like her.

My new female colleague told me to wait for her to text me because "she clearly wants to communicate with you and no woman can keep this silence up for long... if you want to win, you have to play the game" (paraphrazing here). Though I have gotten different opinions as well ("If you have to play games, then it is not gonna last anyway").

Basically my biggest fear is that I am being played with and chase something where there is nothing. But maybe my pride is just getting the better of me.
Anyway, I am writing this down to organize my thoughts and maybe get some different perspectives. That would be much appreciated.