EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 1033
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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farvacola
United States18870 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 25 2018 23:03 Broetchenholer wrote: Now i am curious, what makes you think that the gym is a place with above average dating pool? Like, the only thing associated with a gym for me are people who are very concerned about their looks, want to show those looks off and are not interested enough in real sports to just do those. This to me is the definition of shallow people. Granted i myself have a very negative opinion of gyms and therefore tend to not understand people that go there, but why would you believe the people there are above average? People that go to the gym regularly have discipline, are healthier and people who exercise are more positive in general because of the working out (it's science) and healthier eating associated with it. So yeah a gym goer will automatically be above average. I like not having any hard rules, just be yourself live your life according to your integrity. Having said that, I rarely talk to people in the gym besides the locker room, and dont see how I can physically ever talk to people with headphones blasting and me in the zone during my workout where I barely even notice people and look like a madman | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 26 2018 04:05 farvacola wrote: Even if only as a function of time left alive, there's definitely reason to be more deliberate/narrower in focus when it comes to looking for a mate past one's late teens/early twenties. This is definitely the case for women but men have really high expiration date when it comes to dating luckily purely biologically. It's more that you can't know what you're looking for until you get experience, with every relationship you get more of it and you know what works and doesn't. I made a list in my group of friends that talk about this, I'm a lot more experienced than most and they couldn't believe how detailed and specific my list of an ideal partner was, and most things seemed important to me, where it'd be like couple points some 10 years ago tops. And it had nothing to do with age, there are guys in their late 50s that don't know what they want and list just a couple things. It's probably a function of experience + confidence/sense of abundance | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10666 Posts
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
The girl from my last date has been taking a while to answer. She has sent a reply on friday and one on saturday. Both times mentioning she was busy with work (due to black friday). I've been two days since I sent my last message and no response as of yet. I'm all for waiting really, but it is so hard to read her. She's apologetic in text and appears to be wanting to meet up again. However, she wasn't this slow with answering before, and I suspect most of the black friday work is over now. Should I even bother sending another message saying something like "If you change your mind, you got my number, I'd love to see you again."? Probably overthinking things, but I got time to spare so why not  | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
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Acrofales
Spain18487 Posts
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Harris1st
Germany7439 Posts
2 of those kept my interest and I decided for my favorite to meet some friends of mine which went really well. To understand, my friends are probably more important to me than my family. So that's that. Now there is 2 problems: First, she lives like 80 mins car drive away, which is annoying. Specially in the get-to-know-phase of a relationship. Second, she is thinking about getting a job near where I live and then moving here. Which would be great but it kinda feels like an overcommitment this early. I dont know What do you guys think? | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8940 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 27 2018 16:59 bloodwhore~ wrote: Need some perspective. The girl from my last date has been taking a while to answer. She has sent a reply on friday and one on saturday. Both times mentioning she was busy with work (due to black friday). I've been two days since I sent my last message and no response as of yet. I'm all for waiting really, but it is so hard to read her. She's apologetic in text and appears to be wanting to meet up again. However, she wasn't this slow with answering before, and I suspect most of the black friday work is over now. Should I even bother sending another message saying something like "If you change your mind, you got my number, I'd love to see you again."? Probably overthinking things, but I got time to spare so why not The hell are you doing lol believe me nothing's changed since last time I was dating Wait for her to send you anything no matter how long that takes, and then ask her out in the reply "when are you free together" ask her to give you the days If she doesn't reply or text you some random crap then move on - why'd you want to date someone who won't even put in the minimal effort of sending you a random text when you're willing to work for it?! That's all I expect from women when it comes to the frequency of dates and what I appreciate - they don't hold back, contact you with random stuff like "hi how are you" "just seen you somewhere" "etc.etc." when they want to see you. This is her putting in the effort and opening herself up to you, and you just can decide to respond in like and ask them out, set a date, have a great time together... | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10666 Posts
On November 27 2018 16:59 bloodwhore~ wrote: Need some perspective. The girl from my last date has been taking a while to answer. She has sent a reply on friday and one on saturday. Both times mentioning she was busy with work (due to black friday). I've been two days since I sent my last message and no response as of yet. I'm all for waiting really, but it is so hard to read her. She's apologetic in text and appears to be wanting to meet up again. However, she wasn't this slow with answering before, and I suspect most of the black friday work is over now. Should I even bother sending another message saying something like "If you change your mind, you got my number, I'd love to see you again."? Probably overthinking things, but I got time to spare so why not In my experience if you notice she has been taking longer to respond then that’s a huge red flag. I’d give it couple more days but you should also start to not be hopeful as well. Hope it works out for u man. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 28 2018 01:30 LemOn wrote: The hell are you doing lol HAHAH. I think I just wanted some affirmation that I shouldn't anything. I ended my last message I said some random stuff related to conversations we had and ended with "I understand you have a lot of work right now, let me know when you have time to meet up again, " In my experience if you notice she has been taking longer to respond then that’s a huge red flag. I’d give it couple more days but you should also start to not be hopeful as well. Hope it works out for u man. That's my general experience as well. Yeah, no problem  . It's not like I don't try to date others. I think I have a date tomorrow. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
What's the issue then You told her what to to and then get unglued when she does exactly that? I thought she stopped replying in the middle of the conversation or something hah. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it even if it takes her a week to respond honestly, you seemed really tentative there. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 28 2018 21:23 LemOn wrote: I thought she stopped replying in the middle of the conversation or something hah. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it even if it takes her a week to respond honestly, you seemed really tentative there. Tentative in regards to me saying that I understood she had a lot on her plate? I only mentioned that since she mentioned in both her previous messages that she was really busy that day and was slow at responding. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
It's like you backed yourself into a test on purpose heh I'd expect a radio silence and with most likelihood she'll message you within 5-20 days with random stuff, and then you just cut the crap and firmly ask what days work for her without pre-assuming excuses then set the date. The "let me know" is what I use when a girl flakes on a date with me, or gives me some "maybe, text to confirm" response, I take away the date I offered altogether as I'm a busy person and have a backlog of people that actually firmly want my time. And tell her "okay, go deal with XYZ, and let me know when your schedule frees up" it just implies you won't see her or contact her in the immediate future and works as a take-away. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 29 2018 00:07 LemOn wrote: The "let me know" is what I use when a girl flakes on a date with me, or gives me some "maybe, text to confirm" response, I take away the date I offered altogether as I'm a busy person and have a backlog of people that actually firmly want my time. And tell her "okay, go deal with XYZ, and let me know when your schedule frees up" it just implies you won't see her or contact her in the immediate future and works as a take-away. Ah yeah, that's true. That's how I usually use it as well, guess I got a bit tired of really slow answers. But then again, if she was interested she would respond to pretty much any message. So whatever. I'll move along in the meantime. Hopefully she responds later. | ||
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geokilla
Canada8255 Posts
This is probably not a wise move but I don't want to waste anymore time if she's not interested. I'm persistent and not one to give up easily but I want a clear answer. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10666 Posts
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