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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Been on two dates this week!
#1 This tuesday I went for a walk with a girl from Finland. It pretty cold outside, we walked for maybe an hour and my hands were freezing by the end of it. Since it was a workday and it was getting late I didn't bother asking her to follow me home. I feel like I probably could have.
Today I asked her if she wanted to come over drink wine, cuddle and watch a movie. Unfortunately she had plans, told her that it was an open invitation and we could do it another day. Which she responded she would definitely keep in mind. She's only here for like 1.5 more week so some cuddles are at least nice.
#2 Also a walk, I love going for walks with dates. I have this route now along the sea in the city, where all the boats lie with their lights on, pretty cozy route. This was wednesday, the day after. Top 3 best dates I've had for sure. Her face is to die for, so beautiful! God damn her eyebrows. Could stare at them forever. She probably has the best laugh I've heard as well. Really fun and easy going, super easy to talk to. Positive all the time and smart. I feel like I'm just listing all her good qualities right now.
I gotta watch it though, I feel like I could fall for her very easily. If she doesn't do the same I'm fucked.
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Cute girls at the gym with a great smile is my ultimate weakness
Motherfucker...
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What a coincidence, cute girls with a smile are attractive to me too! Who else suffers this craziness?
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Australia8613 Posts
i particularly like it if they arent fat too
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Haha the context being that I try not to date girls at my gym. I equate it to no dating at the work place since I go gym almost daily.
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On November 25 2018 14:49 Emnjay808 wrote: Haha the context being that I try not to date girls at my gym. I equate it to no dating at the work place since I go gym almost daily.
I think your policy is very stupid. The gym is a great place to meet woman with lots of positive traits that are more scarce in other places. Just don't be a creep
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Not to sound vain, but I picked up a few numbers. I just don’t think dating someone from the gym is a healthy thing, especially since that particular gym is just so convennient for me to regular.
Though now I realized maybe I should pick up a membership elsewhere and try prospect for dates there, hrmmm.
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On November 25 2018 16:21 Emnjay808 wrote: Not to sound vain, but I picked up a few numbers. I just don’t think dating someone from the gym is a healthy thing, especially since that particular gym is just so convennient for me to regular.
Though now I realized maybe I should pick up a membership elsewhere and try prospect for dates there, hrmmm.
You can still go to the gym, even if you date someone from it, or break up with multiple people from there. The average dating pool in a gym is so much better than any other regular place it makes it 100% worth it.
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Now i am curious, what makes you think that the gym is a place with above average dating pool? Like, the only thing associated with a gym for me are people who are very concerned about their looks, want to show those looks off and are not interested enough in real sports to just do those. This to me is the definition of shallow people. Granted i myself have a very negative opinion of gyms and therefore tend to not understand people that go there, but why would you believe the people there are above average?
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On November 25 2018 23:03 Broetchenholer wrote: Now i am curious, what makes you think that the gym is a place with above average dating pool? Like, the only thing associated with a gym for me are people who are very concerned about their looks, want to show those looks off and are not interested enough in real sports to just do those. This to me is the definition of shallow people. Granted i myself have a very negative opinion of gyms and therefore tend to not understand people that go there, but why would you believe the people there are above average?
They typically look hotter and they're concerned with not only their physical appearance but their physical health. Compared to the average population, they're more concerned with what/how they eat and they'll most likely live a more active lifestyle outside the gym as well. If you also like going to the gym, then the gym is a great place to meet similarly-minded people.
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Meh, having spent over a decade in gyms now, with about three years working in them, I think being skeptical of the location as a meeting place is well-deserved. There can be (and often is) a huge difference between enjoying activities that relate to a location and whether other people who frequent said location share in that enjoyment. Vanity is definitely overrepresented at gyms and the utter lack of anything remotely resembling an intelligent conversation was part of what pushed me out of making personal training into a career. Additionally, there is something to be said for those who benefit from regarding exercise as a mostly solo, head clearing activity, and it isn't hard to imagine someone spoiling their routine via getting bogged down in trying to attract mates at the gym.
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On November 25 2018 23:03 Broetchenholer wrote: Now i am curious, what makes you think that the gym is a place with above average dating pool? Like, the only thing associated with a gym for me are people who are very concerned about their looks, want to show those looks off and are not interested enough in real sports to just do those. This to me is the definition of shallow people. Granted i myself have a very negative opinion of gyms and therefore tend to not understand people that go there, but why would you believe the people there are above average?
Man I think your stereotyping is 100% wrong. People who attend the gym regularly show a higher capacity for delayed gratification and long term planning, which is essential to lead a succesful life and somewhat scarce on woman, I guess. Morever, taking care of your health =/= shallow.
On the opposite side, I find that a large % of girls you meet at bars/nightclub, specially regulars, have SEVERE alcohol and attention requiring issues, that do not make them suitable for long term relationship. If you can meet woman at college or else, great, but once into the work force it becomes harder.
From personal experience, I've met 3 gfs and dated a few other from the gym, and unless something drastically changes I plan my current gf to be my wife. The odds of meeting her anywhere else are slim to none. I also know at least 3 couples from my former gym who met there and a few years later are happily married. I would add the caveat that the average girl attending a crossfit gym is different than one going to a regular gym.
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the bouldering gym has the fittest girls anyways
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United Kingdom13775 Posts
The “don’t pick up girls in location X” rules aren’t something I’m a huge fan of. Although it’s understandable in the sense of trying to minimize trouble in places where dating might be troublesome, it also tends to come from a place of treating dating as a numbers game and assuming there are plenty of girls wherever. There comes a point where that really stops being true, though, and people who are actually of interest become few and far between. When that happens, you should take what you can get.
To be perfectly honest, the better, more difficult to implement rule is something more akin to “learn how to deal gracefully and diplomatically with rejection and relationship-ending fights.” Short of that, I suppose picking rules for places not to date is a way not to bring those problems in places that you would go to without dating being a major motivator?
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On November 26 2018 01:24 LegalLord wrote: The “don’t pick up girls in location X” rules aren’t something I’m a huge fan of. Although it’s understandable in the sense of trying to minimize trouble in places where dating might be troublesome, it also tends to come from a place of treating dating as a numbers game and assuming there are plenty of girls wherever. There comes a point where that really stops being true, though, and people who are actually of interest become few and far between. When that happens, you should take what you can get.
To be perfectly honest, the better, more difficult to implement rule is something more akin to “learn how to deal gracefully and diplomatically with rejection and relationship-ending fights.” Short of that, I suppose picking rules for places not to date is a way not to bring those problems in places that you would go to without dating being a major motivator?
Can you talk more about this? Is this related to getting older and having less options? I'm not really picturing it off the top of my head.
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On November 26 2018 01:57 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On November 26 2018 01:24 LegalLord wrote: The “don’t pick up girls in location X” rules aren’t something I’m a huge fan of. Although it’s understandable in the sense of trying to minimize trouble in places where dating might be troublesome, it also tends to come from a place of treating dating as a numbers game and assuming there are plenty of girls wherever. There comes a point where that really stops being true, though, and people who are actually of interest become few and far between. When that happens, you should take what you can get.
To be perfectly honest, the better, more difficult to implement rule is something more akin to “learn how to deal gracefully and diplomatically with rejection and relationship-ending fights.” Short of that, I suppose picking rules for places not to date is a way not to bring those problems in places that you would go to without dating being a major motivator? Can you talk more about this? Is this related to getting older and having less options? I'm not really picturing it off the top of my head.
I think it's that when you get older, you know more and more what you're looking for and fewer people satisfy those conditions. So even though the pool is still big, there's only a small portion of it that you're looking in?
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United Kingdom13775 Posts
On November 26 2018 02:07 Dark_Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On November 26 2018 01:57 L_Master wrote:On November 26 2018 01:24 LegalLord wrote: The “don’t pick up girls in location X” rules aren’t something I’m a huge fan of. Although it’s understandable in the sense of trying to minimize trouble in places where dating might be troublesome, it also tends to come from a place of treating dating as a numbers game and assuming there are plenty of girls wherever. There comes a point where that really stops being true, though, and people who are actually of interest become few and far between. When that happens, you should take what you can get.
To be perfectly honest, the better, more difficult to implement rule is something more akin to “learn how to deal gracefully and diplomatically with rejection and relationship-ending fights.” Short of that, I suppose picking rules for places not to date is a way not to bring those problems in places that you would go to without dating being a major motivator? Can you talk more about this? Is this related to getting older and having less options? I'm not really picturing it off the top of my head. I think it's that when you get older, you know more and more what you're looking for and fewer people satisfy those conditions. So even though the pool is still big, there's only a small portion of it that you're looking in? Yeah, pretty much this. Not a problem of availability as much as “90 percent of the people I would have liked before no longer interest me.” Fairly common with age and/or changing priorities in life.
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Never went to a gym so I would have no idea; but I agree with gotunk on the bar/nightclub issues, as I have hung out and meet many different types of women in these places. A great place to meet new women is spiritual retreats and courses. You would be surprised by how few men usually attend, and many times I would get even more attention than I even wanted or cared for. Even so the age average is usually higher than 20’s, but there are still people of all age, and I did meet a great person with whom I hooked up and eventually we ended up togheter for a decent amount of time. I would never rule out meeting or dating someone just based on the place I am at.
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On November 26 2018 02:10 LegalLord wrote:Show nested quote +On November 26 2018 02:07 Dark_Chill wrote:On November 26 2018 01:57 L_Master wrote:On November 26 2018 01:24 LegalLord wrote: The “don’t pick up girls in location X” rules aren’t something I’m a huge fan of. Although it’s understandable in the sense of trying to minimize trouble in places where dating might be troublesome, it also tends to come from a place of treating dating as a numbers game and assuming there are plenty of girls wherever. There comes a point where that really stops being true, though, and people who are actually of interest become few and far between. When that happens, you should take what you can get.
To be perfectly honest, the better, more difficult to implement rule is something more akin to “learn how to deal gracefully and diplomatically with rejection and relationship-ending fights.” Short of that, I suppose picking rules for places not to date is a way not to bring those problems in places that you would go to without dating being a major motivator? Can you talk more about this? Is this related to getting older and having less options? I'm not really picturing it off the top of my head. I think it's that when you get older, you know more and more what you're looking for and fewer people satisfy those conditions. So even though the pool is still big, there's only a small portion of it that you're looking in? Yeah, pretty much this. Not a problem of availability as much as “90 percent of the people I would have liked before no longer interest me.” Fairly common with age and/or changing priorities in life.
That makes good sense to me.
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