EPTMaybe I’m making more out than it seems. But how would/should one approach this if I’m looking to just casually ask her on a date.
Also important to note: I'm not looking for a simple lay here. I’m genuinely interested in getting to know her.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 1014
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10651 Posts
Maybe I’m making more out than it seems. But how would/should one approach this if I’m looking to just casually ask her on a date. Also important to note: I'm not looking for a simple lay here. I’m genuinely interested in getting to know her. | ||
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geokilla
Canada8224 Posts
On October 09 2018 14:41 L_Master wrote: Tbh, that doesn't sound good. That's the response of someone who is actively not interested in seeing you. The way I see it, if she is interested in you again or open to the idea, she wouldn't mind getting a text. If you send her a "Hey what's up" or perhaps more ideally a "insert funny anecdote that reminded me of you" thing and she isn't going to respond, the honest truth is that she probably isn't interested. She might talk to you over the phone, and in that context you might get her agree to meet up. But I doubt she would come over to your place or what not. She would probably, from what you described, feel a little coerced and do it out of nicety. Likely it would have a strong "we are friends" frame. You never had intercourse at all? I don't know exactly what you guys were doing, but that sounds more like deep friends to me than boyfriend or girlfriend when I start hearing stuff like that. If you guys were highly intimate and passionate in non-intercourse ways ala a religious abstinence based relationship I would understand. Well that was last year right? It's been so long I'm hoping time has made things better for both her and I, as we're not more mature and she's one step closer to obtaining her permanent residency. Thus with less stress on her, she may be willing to give me another chance or something if she's still single. I know if I don't try, I'm going to feel regret and anger at myself, like I did yesterday at the mall. We did everything but intercourse because it was painful for her. I believe she has vaginismus. She was a virgin and never even masturbated before we started dating. On October 09 2018 15:26 LemOn wrote: I've dated a 1st gen Chinese girl for 3 years And I know a lot about the dating scene, check.out serpentza and laowhy on youtube. When you date someone there for even a couple months it's just embedded in the culture that you are getting married and raising children with them. In fact women that get above age 27ish and are single start to get called "leftover women" and even a multimillionaire business women are looked down upon as failures by a lot of tye society. What her family aunt etc. are pushing her to do is not crazy, is not weird, it's just normal. So 1) she's likely to be dating someone now if not more (my ex was married like a couple months after we broke up) 2) unless you are prepared in marrying her and raising family with her forget about it 3) you are fantasizing way too much and riding on this If I could give you one advice that'll change your life is to just forget about her, and learn to get great with women in general in the first place As a CBC, I know what you mean, which is why I gave her the freedom to do what she did with her aunt. Ideally she should have ignored her and cut her off, but she won't and probably still didn't because she's a sweet and pure girl. Even my friends make fun of me for losing such a great woman. She didn't expect marriage or children out of me luckily. She's just different. I have been dating and trying to meet girls on apps. Don't get much matches but when I do have dates, I find myself not really interested in that person. Or they're not too interested in me. Probably something I'm doing wrong at these dates as I've only had at most, two dates with the same woman before they say "no thanks." | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
 User was warned for this post | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On October 09 2018 21:57 LemOn wrote: Yeah no bio or anything and random pictures pulled from Facebook. What do you mean likes? I gentle free version only But WOOP WOOP got a match!!! Hashtag stud Hashtag try and stop me By likes he means if you go to tinder and check the area where you get matches (at least in US it looks like a typing bubble and is at the far right. You should see a gold circle that will say something like 3+, 5+, 10+, etc. inside of it. That's how many people have swiped right (that you haven't also swiped right or left on). When you make a new profile you get a massive boost first 6-12 hours, and a decent boost the next 12-24 or so. If you're less than 5 matches after the first 12 hours in my opinion you're in trouble. If you're less than 10, it's okay but not ideal. A really good profile should go 25+ in my experience. No bio isn't the end of the world, but it's better if you have something in there. It can be very simple though, mine is: "Living life on full throttle. Ducking crazy bitches. Creating memories for a lifetime. If you're looking for a hookup, swipe left. Snap: *mysnap*" Just something lowkey, confident, and shows a little of whatever part of your personality you want to show. ----- The big thing with online is of course pictures. It's women making a snap judgement on you based on how you look. My experience is that your first photo (make sure smart photo setting is OFF) should be as good of shot of you as you can find. A picture where you look your absolute best. If you're body is good being shirtless in a natural candid setting is great. Ideally a professional quality photo, but if not it has to be one you look good. If you're body isn't great, which I'd say as anything less than having at least some manner of a 4 pack showing, then I'd just go for a good, high quality photo of your face. Again, it has to look good! It should literally be the best picture of you. If you don't have a picture of you where you think "Damn I look great in this photo" then get one if you want to do online. For the remaining photos, I've found I do better with just two. I feel like more just gives more opportunity for her to see something she dislikes and next you. I like to have one casual photo, one classier "on the town" or perhaps business type photo, and one action shot. If you want online to go smoothly, you have to nail the photos. Do what it takes to get excellent ones. It will make a huge difference. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
yeah 2 rounds of swiping for free 1 Match Meh Do I want to bother? I guess it's a good way to practice before I get rollin' I take a lot of photos and edit them Just never of myself I do have a tripod though Guess I'll go for a hike one day get great light conditions and see what I can do | ||
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bo1b
Australia12814 Posts
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On October 10 2018 01:06 bo1b wrote: I'm at a stage where I think I'm pretty much done with random hookups and casual sex. It's been trending that way for a while, but certain events have happened where I just am not interested anymore. Good on you for realizing this. I don't think random hookups/casual sex are a bad thing, but it's good to recognize they aren't for you personally. I feel the same way about hookups, just not a fan of seeing someone once and never again. I prefer relationships that have at least a little consistency to them and in which there can be development of some friendship, intimacy, and perhaps at some point love. Think about what you want, and go after it. I know the standard way to think of things is "I'm going to go have a standard relationship", but there are many ways to date besides the standard model that aren't hookups and casual sex. Figure out what appeals to you, and then build your dating plan around that. As an example, in my case I am too focused on my studies and my training right now to have the time I need for a committed relationship in the way that people normally think of them. It's something I want, but not right now, and I want it with an ideal person. I'm not going to settle for someone who isn't a VERY good fit in most or all major aspects. Given this, I'm currently dating a little different. I have one woman right now that is a little more serious, in that I'll actually go on dates with her, spend a day/night with her, etc. and have some feelings for. It's still somewhat casual, and I only see her once a week. I also have two other women that are closer to FWBs. We meet up, maybe talk a little about our lives or things we enjoy discussing, and then go our separate ways. The way I look at it, I'll keep dating, and eventually the best women will rise to the top. That's precisely why I moved a little more towards dating with the one gal. Over time I started to realize there were definite things I liked about her, and I also got the sense we are on a similar wavelength as far as temperament and other important qualities go. If this continues to be the case and feelings grow, I could see this or another hypothetical relationship becoming one I want to make a more committed one. In my case, I probably won't be monogamous completely, but I will be emotionally committed. I'm NOT suggesting you should or ought to do this. I'm just throwing this out there so you have ideas of various options and ways of dating and can best decide what would make you, personally, happy and fulfilled. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
After the breakup main priority is working on myself just being happy solo (does feel like a part of your body has left you after years in a relationship) And just go for girls that knock my socks off that are worth more than just a shag I do want to.practice dates why I asked about tinder But I wouldn't actually sleep with someone whos not morning worthy (you know the feeling, after sex when you just don't feel the connection in the morning you just want them to go, that gets old/kinda depressing real fast) | ||
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bo1b
Australia12814 Posts
That and I've already got an arduous task ahead of me when I do find someone I want to spend my life with explaining all the parties etc. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On October 09 2018 22:39 geokilla wrote: Well that was last year right? It's been so long I'm hoping time has made things better for both her and I, as we're not more mature and she's one step closer to obtaining her permanent residency. Thus with less stress on her, she may be willing to give me another chance or something if she's still single. I know if I don't try, I'm going to feel regret and anger at myself, like I did yesterday at the mall. We did everything but intercourse because it was painful for her. I believe she has vaginismus. She was a virgin and never even masturbated before we started dating. That clearly gives you your answer in my opinion. If it had been less than a few months of no contact, I'd say chill you're being emotional and needy. A year is plenty of time. Given your feelings on the matter, contact her. Go in with no expectations, but absolutely contact her. My personal thought is to use text, but I don't think phone is "wrong". I strongly recommend keeping it fairly short though, come up with a good reason for calling, perhaps a funny story/event that reminded you of her and start with that. Just talk about some fun shit for a few minutes/texts. Laugh. Do NOT talk about serious shit, why you broke up, etc. If you can, feel out if she recently started dating someone. After a bit of that, I'd say no more than 5-10 texts or 10 minutes of light phone conversation, pitch the idea of her coming to hang out at your place. Her response will tell you where you guys stand. On October 09 2018 22:39 geokilla wrote: I have been dating and trying to meet girls on apps. Don't get much matches but when I do have dates, I find myself not really interested in that person. Or they're not too interested in me. Probably something I'm doing wrong at these dates as I've only had at most, two dates with the same woman before they say "no thanks." If you're not getting matches, up your picture game as I mentioned above. It's at least 80-90% of online dating equation. If you don't know how to take great pictures and want to get somewhere with online, hire a local photography student for cheap that knows what they are doing. If not, don't expect any crazy results. Dates, in my opinion, are mostly about having relaxed fun. All the usual stuff applies: strong body language, confident eye contact, not being nervous and rushing your speaking, escalating touch physically, etc. Beyond that, my preferred way for online (where I don't know if I will like the person or vice versa) is a short 45-60 min coffee/drink date at a nice bar or deli. One drink is all I ever have. I don't think getting drunk helps results. First part of the date I like to have some fun banter, maybe tell a little story and just break the ice. I then like to get her talking for most of the rest of it. Usually this isn't hard. Women, actually people in general, generally like talking about themselves. I just ask questions and guide the conversation to find out things about her that interest me: what motivates her, what does she do for fun, does she have ambitions, how did she get into her career, etc. This guidance can change depending on what's important to you in a woman. Just don't make it an interview, you can talk and inteject, but I like a 25/75 balance in favor of her talking. After some of that I like to ask about the dating life and maybe share some fun stories of unique or "bad" dates. If you do this DON'T be negative, make it clear it was just a funny story. During that I usually segway into direct sex talk; fun experiences she has had, what she likes, etc. Then end with a deep hug and call it good. Second date, if I want to see her again, is always a pitch to come over to my place. That's what works pretty well for me right now. Many ways to skin the cat that work for different people though! | ||
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Plansix
United States60190 Posts
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On October 10 2018 01:49 LemOn wrote:[/B (you know the feeling, after sex when you just don't feel the connection in the morning you just want them to go, that gets old/kinda depressing real fast) Also not a fan of this either. When I was doing this earlier in the year and before, I would often have girls directly over to my house first "date". This usually resulted in sex. Unfortunately, it set to playerish of a vibe I think and many of these girls even though we seemed to hit it off didn't want to meet up again. Moreover, exactly as you described, there was this very blah feeling of eh nothing here kinda just want you to leave. As a result I almost always go on a date first to at least get a sense of whether I have interest in this girl On October 10 2018 01:58 bo1b wrote: I realized I'm just wasting time romantically. It's been trending that way for a while, but that was the final straw; now I've got to deal with this girl with that hanging over us urgh. If you're dating purely for hookups, I agree. It's a waste of time if you want something serious. Being involved in other relationship types is most definitely not a waste of time. I see many people who are either in "hookup" mode or in "I will be celibate until I'm in a committed relationship mode". Neither of those modes are my cup of tea. Hookups I dislike, and the other way definitely makes me way to needy, clingy, and lacking abundance mentality. I have a natural tendency to lower standards and jump on the first opportunity I get, rather than searching for a truly great woman. [B]On October 10 2018 01:58 bo1b wrote: That and I've already got an arduous task ahead of me when I do find someone I want to spend my life with explaining all the parties etc. I don't follow. There is no explaining to be done. I'm not sure this has been an issue even one single time. You partied a lot, that's cool, but nobody really cares. I'm actively having sex with multiple women, not hiding it because fuck dishonesty and lying, and even that is only rarely a problem and that's FAR more extreme than "I partied a lot and was wild back in college but now I'm more mature and settled down". MTA: Plansix beat me to it | ||
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bo1b
Australia12814 Posts
I can say that I didn't lie, mislead or take advantage of people though. Just a shame that the only time I woke up next to someone when I got blackout drunk ended up the way it did. I get that a lot or even most people won't care, but I do care about my actions. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On October 10 2018 02:13 bo1b wrote: Yeh I'm still not particularly enthusiastic to explain what in my mind is about 5 years of trash decision making with the opposite sex. Waking up in bed next to someone I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole while sober is just the latest in a string of horrendous choices, and frankly the only good of this will be completely removing that sort of activity from my life for good. Seems like you're being very hard on yourself. Never had anything that bad though. I had some girls I woke up and thought about and was like eh I'm not that attracted to her, but never like an OMG what did I just do moment. Still, I feel like you're beating yourself up for it. Having sex with someone you're not attracted to doesn't cause harm, and as you said it's not like you were being a douche to trick girls into sex. Okay you had sex with someone who was ugly. Big deal. It's like being stressed out over, I dunno, having angry moment and punching a hole in your wall. Doesn't hurt anything but your pride. Incident if over and forgotten. Maybe I'm missing something here though. I get that a lot or even most people won't care, but I do care about my actions. That's a good thing. But you're treating this like you did something terrible or wrong. If you mistreated someone I could understand being upset about it several years or decades down the road. There is none of that here. It's in the past, it's done, you move on. I guess the vibe I'm getting from your post is you feel like you did something terribly wrong and have "sins to answer for". | ||
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bo1b
Australia12814 Posts
It has nothing to do with atoning for sins either, it has everything to do with a progressive sense that I'm wasting time not pursuing someone who would be excellent long term. Going through a dozen hookups in a month is in my eyes a stupendous waste of time, I knew it going in and just got cozy. I'm upset at myself that I didn't leave my comfort zone a bit more to try and find what I was looking for, which is more of a connection then what your nearest power plug and wall socket has. I've never consciously mistreated anyone, especially not in a sexual manner. I'm not freaking out either for what it's worth, just felt like popping into this thread to announce a change in direction. I'll be attending more functions and chatting to women I think are good people than going to parties from now on. | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On October 10 2018 06:12 bo1b wrote: I would never freak out about having sex with someone ugly. She is a repulsive human in all that is entailed, physically speaking she's fine, dances 3 times a week and keeps her self in shape. I'm more concerned I was somewhat taken advantage of, never going to put myself in that position again, she knows very well my feelings towards her and her actions. It has nothing to do with atoning for sins either, it has everything to do with a progressive sense that I'm wasting time not pursuing someone who would be excellent long term. Going through a dozen hookups in a month is in my eyes a stupendous waste of time, I knew it going in and just got cozy. I'm upset at myself that I didn't leave my comfort zone a bit more to try and find what I was looking for, which is more of a connection then what your nearest power plug and wall socket has. I've never consciously mistreated anyone, especially not in a sexual manner. I'm not freaking out either for what it's worth, just felt like popping into this thread to announce a change in direction. I'll be attending more functions and chatting to women I think are good people than going to parties from now on. When I said ugly I didn't mean physically ugly only. There are physically attractive ugly people in my book. I guess we differ on time efficiency. Assume parties are fun in general. When I was more into that scene, I enjoyed going to parties, if I hooked up it was an "oh by the way" kind of thing. I was already at the party to have fun, hooking up was an extension of that. Instead of hooking up from 1am - 3am, I would have been partying from 1am to 3am anyway. Or, in a case like yours, I would have been blacking out in my room from 3am to 9am by myself, versus blacking out in my room from 3am to 9am with a girl in my room. Time use is the same. I certainly agree though if you tailor your interactions with women to be hookup oriented you will get mostly hookups, and those hookups generally won't lead anywhere. Sounds like you have a pretty good idea where you're going, but my opinion would be set a more "dating" frame, and then screen on dates a little more. If there isn't good chemistry and signs of qualities you like on the date, then call it and don't see the person again rather than bringing her home or continuing to pursue it . If you're using social circle and activities to meet these women, then it should be even easier in that sense as you'll already have an idea who she is and that she is someone you're interested to meet. | ||
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bo1b
Australia12814 Posts
I'm still going out and socialising, just not with an intent to get laid at the end if that makes sense? Doing more activities that are almost certainly not going to get me off even, in time frames that aren't in the late night. Cooking classes, dancing (during the day, as a learn to type of deal), a book club. I think my life is better off this way; I was definitely becoming something I find pitiable. | ||
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geokilla
Canada8224 Posts
On October 09 2018 23:56 LemOn wrote: yeah google corey wayne and read the book , I got the audiobook now after a long relationship, gets you back in the game Lol last time I came across these things, I felt like I was getting scammed into it and they were preying on my vulnerability. Do these things actually work? On October 10 2018 01:59 L_Master wrote: That clearly gives you your answer in my opinion. If it had been less than a few months of no contact, I'd say chill you're being emotional and needy. A year is plenty of time. Given your feelings on the matter, contact her. Go in with no expectations, but absolutely contact her. My personal thought is to use text, but I don't think phone is "wrong". I strongly recommend keeping it fairly short though, come up with a good reason for calling, perhaps a funny story/event that reminded you of her and start with that. Just talk about some fun shit for a few minutes/texts. Laugh. Do NOT talk about serious shit, why you broke up, etc. If you can, feel out if she recently started dating someone. After a bit of that, I'd say no more than 5-10 texts or 10 minutes of light phone conversation, pitch the idea of her coming to hang out at your place. Her response will tell you where you guys stand. Yeah I was definitely emotional and needy for a while last year, which didn't help. Then I eventually dropped it and stopped talking to her, let time pass and tried to focus and better myself. Damn that's gonna be difficult to try and recap something interesting or a special event we did together. I was such a boring guy, and we didn't do many interesting things together lol. I'm thinking of maybe contacting her and talking about this Harry Potter thing happening next month? I recall she's a fan of Harry Potter but I could be wrong. On October 10 2018 01:59 L_Master wrote: If you're not getting matches, up your picture game as I mentioned above. It's at least 80-90% of online dating equation. If you don't know how to take great pictures and want to get somewhere with online, hire a local photography student for cheap that knows what they are doing. If not, don't expect any crazy results. Dates, in my opinion, are mostly about having relaxed fun. All the usual stuff applies: strong body language, confident eye contact, not being nervous and rushing your speaking, escalating touch physically, etc. Beyond that, my preferred way for online (where I don't know if I will like the person or vice versa) is a short 45-60 min coffee/drink date at a nice bar or deli. One drink is all I ever have. I don't think getting drunk helps results. First part of the date I like to have some fun banter, maybe tell a little story and just break the ice. I then like to get her talking for most of the rest of it. Usually this isn't hard. Women, actually people in general, generally like talking about themselves. I just ask questions and guide the conversation to find out things about her that interest me: what motivates her, what does she do for fun, does she have ambitions, how did she get into her career, etc. This guidance can change depending on what's important to you in a woman. Just don't make it an interview, you can talk and inteject, but I like a 25/75 balance in favor of her talking. After some of that I like to ask about the dating life and maybe share some fun stories of unique or "bad" dates. If you do this DON'T be negative, make it clear it was just a funny story. During that I usually segway into direct sex talk; fun experiences she has had, what she likes, etc. Then end with a deep hug and call it good. Second date, if I want to see her again, is always a pitch to come over to my place. That's what works pretty well for me right now. Many ways to skin the cat that work for different people though! Funny I actually took some photos last weekend. My friends helped me out but I don't think the photos turned out the way we wanted them to. I looked so awkward in those photos. They were like "Man you need to learn from Instagram models and attend their school of posing!" I should redo my wardrobe too apparently. My fashion sense is awful and supposedly I don't dress young enough. Thanks for sharing your dating experience. Do you ever find first date results in a lot of Q&A as you try and get a feel for one another and to learn more about each other? My last couple of first dates with different women I met on Coffee Meets Bagel felt like that. When you first match with a woman on these dating apps, how do you first talk to them? I just try and be myself and ask them how they are, never relying on those pickup lines. It may be the reason why when I do get the matches, I don't get the dates. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Corey Wayne specifically, he gives older edition of his book for free, has hundreds of free videos... He makes a bunch off money through donations and very expensive personal coaching 95%ppl never get, including me +audiobooks Other thing is datingskillsreview podcast And old menprovement podcasts (OLD ones with the founder Sean russel who left at one point) | ||
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L_Master
United States8017 Posts
On October 10 2018 13:19 geokilla wrote: Damn that's gonna be difficult to try and recap something interesting or a special event we did together. I was such a boring guy, and we didn't do many interesting things together lol. I'm thinking of maybe contacting her and talking about this Harry Potter thing happening next month? I recall she's a fan of Harry Potter but I could be wrong. I don't mean recap necessarily. I mean like think about the things you did together. Let's say hypothetically you guys always went to this ice cream shop together and one time some funny shit went down. You could send a text like "Hey! So you'll never guess what happened, I was totally at Joe's Ice Cream shop last week and there was this hipster dude with a beard that looked EXACTLY like the guy that tired to bring his freaking Alpaca into the store when we were there". The main point is you're just referencing a funny high point in your relationship for good memories and positive emotions, and not coming straight out with this "omg I want you back". It comes off a little less needy than "Hey! Thinking of you " might. Banter for a few texts and then pitch a meet up. How she responds to the initial texts and the meetup will tell you what you need to know. A woman who is interested in you isn't going to deflect or go radio silent if you want to meet up. On October 09 2018 22:39 geokilla wrote: Funny I actually took some photos last weekend. My friends helped me out but I don't think the photos turned out the way we wanted them to. I looked so awkward in those photos. They were like "Man you need to learn from Instagram models and attend their school of posing!" I should redo my wardrobe too apparently. My fashion sense is awful and supposedly I don't dress young enough. For pictures, easiest thing to do is spend some time in narcissism mode ripping of selfies. Try different angles, poses, and expressions looking at the camera. Figure out where you look best. Almost everyone has a good angle, usually at or marginally above eye level. Usually it's one side of the face or the other that looks better. Find good lighting, this is usually direct, even lighting on your face. Diffuse lighting or high contrast is usually a disaster. Lighting makes a HUGE difference for all but the most harmonious faces. I can literally like 3 points or more different in shit versus ideal lighting. If you ever want to feel bad about your self esteem, try taking a selfies of yourself in a fluorescent light public bathroom.  Play around with it till you have a winner. Then use THAT pose in your main photo. One thing that almost always enhances looks is subtly moving your whole face forward like you're sticking your neck out. Don't stick it a foot, but just a subtle move forward. It tightens the skin around the jaw and brings out jawline. Also, for most guys a subtle undereye squint will enhance how your eyes look. Not drastic for this. If you legitimately squint, you'll just look tryhard and bad. If you want online success looking sharp with fashion helps. Or rather, not looking bad with fashion helps. You don't need to be a styling guy with name brand clothes. You do have to not look clueless and/or bad. There is a big TL fashion thread for that, but the basics are: Fit. Fit. Fit. Your clothes NEED to fit well. Even if your outfit is a fashion disaster you'll still look fairly good if the clothes fit well. Specifics of this can get a bit nitty gritty, but the jist is that the clothes SHOULD be form fitting, but not tight. For pants, if you sit down you should be able to pinch a small amount of fabric off the leg with your finger and thumb. If you can't...it's a little tight. If you can do more than an inch, it's too lose. Hips are pretty clear. Snug fit, but not tight. Slim fit through the leg usually looks best. Pants should not be folding up more than a smidge at the base where they touch their shoe (google quarter break if you aren't clear). Shirt wise, similar ideas. For T-Shirts, mid bicep is good length wise. All shirts should hug the body, but not be tight. Again you should be able to pinch an inch of fabric away from your obliques. Any more and it will billow and make you look fat, less and it's a little tight. Shoulder points (seam near shoulder) should match where the shoulder meets the bicep. Long sleeve shirt the cuff should come down just beyond the big bump bone (malleolus) near your wrist. Depending on how you're built you may need to try on ALOT of clothes to find ones that fit well. If you want something simple, a pair of good denim jeans, chinos in a shade of tan and navy, and a few solid color T's and dress shirts will cover you. Shoes depends on what you like. Standard good options are a solid, slim profile trainer, and the classic Clark Desert Boot. This stuff can all be done cheap, Aside from shoes, you could put everything else together for between $100-$150 bucks. | ||
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