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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
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Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On August 12 2018 14:30 LegalLord wrote:
Eh. Sounds shitty but spending $60 on a date isn’t enough to really warrant more than a “meh.”
At most I’d probably skip the bar given the fact that it wasn’t really going anywhere. Not enough money to warrant a “fuck you, pay for it yourself” move.
Yea. It's not the end of the world. $60 warrants more than a meh from me, because it represents over a third of my disposable income for the month.
On August 13 2018 01:19 LegalLord wrote:
$60 isn't enough to start a fight over, though, even in the aforementioned visibly shitty scenario. A sign that there won't be a date #2, but no big deal on its own.
I do think you're really underestimating how much $60 bucks is for a college student largely trying to pay his own way. For someone making 50k/yr the equivalent would be having to eat a $200-300 dinner.
On August 12 2018 17:01 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 12 2018 12:38 L_Master wrote:
So a funny/painful one for y'all. Couple nights ago a friend of mine wanted to go on a date with this girl he had matched with on Tinder, but apparently she said to bring a friend it was going to be a double date. He asked me, and of course I'd never done that before and have been trying to get out more so I said sure, figured it would be an interesting experience.
I am really surprised you paid. From the way you wrote it felt like you were aware that you were being ripped off. If that's the case you just pussied out pretty hard. The way you wrote also makes me feel like they have done this before, and specifically chose your friend because he is not confident enough to say no. He honestly sounds pretty awkward. Oh well, it's not the end of the world. It's a good lesson probably.
Can't say for sure if they have, but if you asked me if I thought so I would say yes. I would guess they are more or less doing it to get guys to take them to nice places and if oh by the way they guy(s) are super hot and amazing vibe maybe something happens.
You could say I pussied out. I wasn't willing to be the guy who adamantly insisted on splitting the bill when my friend has already offered to pay for someone else.
On August 12 2018 16:13 sc-darkness wrote:
Hmm, haven't you started splitting the bill in the US as well? Or, was your friend trying to be a gentleman?
Not being a douchebag with people is priceless though.
I would say it varies, some people expect it still, but I would say the large majority (75-90%?) come in expecting to split the bill unless someone says otherwise.
On August 12 2018 23:44 Dark_Chill wrote:
Definitely feel like depending on your age, most people should have some form of disposable income. Summer job at least.
Also L_Master, I'm pretty sure you would have witnessed the most horrified expressions imaginable if you had asked to split the bill 4 ways. A good chunk of people like that just have their stuff paid for enough that they take it as a normal thing.
Oh definitely. Even my hesitation drew some expressions.
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On August 13 2018 02:53 lastpuritan wrote:Show nested quote +On August 12 2018 12:38 L_Master wrote:
So a funny/painful one for y'all. Couple nights ago a friend of mine wanted to go on a date with this girl he had matched with on Tinder, but apparently she said to bring a friend it was going to be a double date. He asked me, and of course I'd never done that before and have been trying to get out more so I said sure, figured it would be an interesting experience.
Things got a little interesting when I saw the place they had decided on, which was a somewhat upscale Sushi place in Boulder. Not ridiculous, but not Applebee's or something either. I figured whatever, not big one Sushi but I'm here for the experience and I can order something on the lighter side. Met the girls, and they seemed fine at first. Very attractive and in good shape. Started hanging out and they immediately ordered drinks and the like (I passed, not wanting to spend to much). Next thing that made me wonder is they said they had decided to go out to bars after (my friend had said they were probably just going to go back to their place and watch a movie or whatever if they got along) and that they were going to have a friend joining them. In my head I'm kinda wondering how well this is going to go. Started talking and to be honest the conversation wasn't terrible. My date was reasonably fun to talk to, but these girls were VERY good friends and my friend wasn't being confidence/engaging tough to keep his girl heavily into him. Which meant they spent alot of time talking to each other, often with inside references.
I didn't feel like it was ON with the girl I was talking to, but got the impression she was at ;east modestly open/attracted. Conversation was overall decent, and they were at least to me reasonable to talk to outside of a decent number of interruptions by friend 2 to the girl I was talking to. Came time to order and I got something nice and inexpensive, my friend got something medium, and red flag #3 the girls both ordered double orders of fairly expensive stuff. The conversation continued to be okay, I got some light teasing in but really was never able to isolate and get into anything decent with my girl, and my friend definitely didn't. However, it wasn't leading anywhere, and I wasn't feeling too great about the situation. Red flag number 4 happened next and the girls both went to the bathroom together. A short while later red flag number 5 was coming up throughout the date though, and that was that both girls very much had people paying for shit they did. Heavily parental support, mentioning not having bought toilet paper or necessities ever because she would wait for Grandpa to spoil her, etc. Was getting a bit turned off and suspicious at this point. Then red flag number 6 came up, where my girl literally asked my friend if he would mow the lawn for them. It was slightly joking but clearly intended to be serious. I made a joke about maybe he would if there was a six pack of beer involved and the other girl basically emphasized for free.
Alarm bells ringing at defcon 1 at this point.
Few minutes later waiter comes back to bring the checks. I was getting ready to say bring us the four separate checks when my fucking friend goes "we'll split it two ways". FUCK. The bill was over $120, of which my share was $6. I don't know if he had totally missed that the conversation had been more or less very meh with no real energy (despite the girls allegedly already being a bit drunk) AND all the fucking hints. I was on the verge of insisting on a three way split, but bitched out. Ate $60.
We decided to go to a different bar. My date was still talking to me and while it wasn't going great, at least to me it didn't seem like a lost cause either. My friend literally just started leading to the bar not talking to either of the girls. We got to this bar (of course it's like Thursday at 8:30 so the bar is dead AF too) and went in. Soon as we got in the bar my friend's date dragged mine to the ping pong table to play. There were only two paddles, which left me and my friend both standing there next to the girls just watching. I was talking to my girl a bit, my friend....went and got a beer. Then just stood there. After this game, my friend's girl didn't just shut down, she literally went ice. She had been lightly receptive to me earlier, but now I made a joke or two and literally got a "fuck off dumbass" glare from her.
I just looked at my friend and gave him a "It's over, you done fucked up look". He still didn't seem to realize it, but he did say something about it not going well. The third friend arrived, I talked with her and my girl a bit, my friend stood off to the side while his chick went to get another drink. Shortly after she got back, my girl was like "I gotta pee". I also went to use the bathroom, and while walking away I heard one of the other girls say they were going to grab water. Walked out of the bathroom to find all three girls together and got a hilarious look from my friends date.
Went back to find my friend still standing there...I guess waiting for them to get back. I was like dude, they definitely just fucking walked out, but he didn't but it at first until I told him to go ask the fucking bartender if those chicks gone up the stairs. I hadn't seen them leave, but it was pretty obvious to me what was up. Of course, they had left.
Bam. $60 bucks for 45' of average conversation and 20' of a game of Jenga and watching too chick play ping pong at a bar. Fucking hell. I should have had some sort of contingency plan or way of getting in touch with my friend about what was going down, but didn't and got wrecked badly.
It's a little funny, and there is a saying about a fool and his money....but I'm still pissed about that right now. My budget is tight AF, and that's basically enough to kill any eating out or fun events I wanted to do for this month. Wrecked. TBH only difference between you and your friend is you being a little more talkative and aware. It looks like you haven't directly tried to flirt with your girl, at least in a successful way. Sometimes in these scenarios playing your cards out open brings more luck than expecting something from the girls. I mean, if you talk friendly to her eventually you become a nice person to meet but nothing more than that. If I were you, I would use the opportunity when they were already drunk before hitting the pub, and joke around about some plans what would you guys do in the pub and after. For example after paying for your girl, you could just go next to her, reach for her hand and say smth like "After you m'lady!" and joke about stuff like "I think it's you on my share, hope you like xxx beer" for example. If girl is smiling and catching up to your jokes there's still high chance your buddy would ruin the night and girls leave together, because I think no girl will say, okay you go, I stay and fuck this fella. In this case I usually insist on playing some sort or truth and dare games in a round table where people have to ask question to each other, usually starts with "whats your real name hehehe" and then goes into "how many people you fooled with your beauty and broke their hearths after the night?" and if one player wants to skip can use 3 jokers, if 3 jokers are out, buying everyone beer. This game usually worked fine with me, most girls are extremely honest in their answers and if you manage to influence them with your jokes and answers, you say winning one decides what we do next, if girls win they say okay lets go and fuck because they already had fun, if you win, you say let's go for a walk, grab ice cream and then we can watch a movie or so. buying the ice cream while they're completely drunk can be evaded, anyways. you wouldnt lose anything if you got heavily rejected with your flirts, you don't know them, you won't see them again. always remember this for the next times.
I dunno, I had some moments where I was flirting with her and having a good "vibe". The problem was, her friend wasn't always being engaged, which meant that she was always talking to the girl I was with more or less blocking my interactions. I could have tried to just work the whole group, but I didn't feel like that would have been good for my friend and the night still wouldn't have gone anywhere. I just don't think she was particularly attracted to my friend, and that was compounded by the fact that he either noticed that and let it psyche him out, or he just didn't have it.
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On August 14 2018 11:51 L_Master wrote:
You could say I pussied out. I wasn't willing to be the guy who adamantly insisted on splitting the bill when my friend has already offered to pay for someone else.
I'm not trying to call you out or blame everything on you. I most likely would have done the same thing in this scenario. And he did threw you under the bus with his actions. Not much of a choice tbh.
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On August 14 2018 14:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2018 11:51 L_Master wrote:
You could say I pussied out. I wasn't willing to be the guy who adamantly insisted on splitting the bill when my friend has already offered to pay for someone else.
I'm not trying to call you out or blame everything on you. I most likely would have done the same thing in this scenario. And he did threw you under the bus with his actions. Not much of a choice tbh.
I know 
It's a fair point though. I could have been like nah, fuck this I ain't paying but the ensuing awkwardness and possible annoyance from my friend wasn't worth it. I do wish he would have told me beforehand he was planning to pay, but ah well you win some you lose some.
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On August 14 2018 12:06 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On August 13 2018 02:53 lastpuritan wrote:On August 12 2018 12:38 L_Master wrote:
So a funny/painful one for y'all. Couple nights ago a friend of mine wanted to go on a date with this girl he had matched with on Tinder, but apparently she said to bring a friend it was going to be a double date. He asked me, and of course I'd never done that before and have been trying to get out more so I said sure, figured it would be an interesting experience.
Things got a little interesting when I saw the place they had decided on, which was a somewhat upscale Sushi place in Boulder. Not ridiculous, but not Applebee's or something either. I figured whatever, not big one Sushi but I'm here for the experience and I can order something on the lighter side. Met the girls, and they seemed fine at first. Very attractive and in good shape. Started hanging out and they immediately ordered drinks and the like (I passed, not wanting to spend to much). Next thing that made me wonder is they said they had decided to go out to bars after (my friend had said they were probably just going to go back to their place and watch a movie or whatever if they got along) and that they were going to have a friend joining them. In my head I'm kinda wondering how well this is going to go. Started talking and to be honest the conversation wasn't terrible. My date was reasonably fun to talk to, but these girls were VERY good friends and my friend wasn't being confidence/engaging tough to keep his girl heavily into him. Which meant they spent alot of time talking to each other, often with inside references.
I didn't feel like it was ON with the girl I was talking to, but got the impression she was at ;east modestly open/attracted. Conversation was overall decent, and they were at least to me reasonable to talk to outside of a decent number of interruptions by friend 2 to the girl I was talking to. Came time to order and I got something nice and inexpensive, my friend got something medium, and red flag #3 the girls both ordered double orders of fairly expensive stuff. The conversation continued to be okay, I got some light teasing in but really was never able to isolate and get into anything decent with my girl, and my friend definitely didn't. However, it wasn't leading anywhere, and I wasn't feeling too great about the situation. Red flag number 4 happened next and the girls both went to the bathroom together. A short while later red flag number 5 was coming up throughout the date though, and that was that both girls very much had people paying for shit they did. Heavily parental support, mentioning not having bought toilet paper or necessities ever because she would wait for Grandpa to spoil her, etc. Was getting a bit turned off and suspicious at this point. Then red flag number 6 came up, where my girl literally asked my friend if he would mow the lawn for them. It was slightly joking but clearly intended to be serious. I made a joke about maybe he would if there was a six pack of beer involved and the other girl basically emphasized for free.
Alarm bells ringing at defcon 1 at this point.
Few minutes later waiter comes back to bring the checks. I was getting ready to say bring us the four separate checks when my fucking friend goes "we'll split it two ways". FUCK. The bill was over $120, of which my share was $6. I don't know if he had totally missed that the conversation had been more or less very meh with no real energy (despite the girls allegedly already being a bit drunk) AND all the fucking hints. I was on the verge of insisting on a three way split, but bitched out. Ate $60.
We decided to go to a different bar. My date was still talking to me and while it wasn't going great, at least to me it didn't seem like a lost cause either. My friend literally just started leading to the bar not talking to either of the girls. We got to this bar (of course it's like Thursday at 8:30 so the bar is dead AF too) and went in. Soon as we got in the bar my friend's date dragged mine to the ping pong table to play. There were only two paddles, which left me and my friend both standing there next to the girls just watching. I was talking to my girl a bit, my friend....went and got a beer. Then just stood there. After this game, my friend's girl didn't just shut down, she literally went ice. She had been lightly receptive to me earlier, but now I made a joke or two and literally got a "fuck off dumbass" glare from her.
I just looked at my friend and gave him a "It's over, you done fucked up look". He still didn't seem to realize it, but he did say something about it not going well. The third friend arrived, I talked with her and my girl a bit, my friend stood off to the side while his chick went to get another drink. Shortly after she got back, my girl was like "I gotta pee". I also went to use the bathroom, and while walking away I heard one of the other girls say they were going to grab water. Walked out of the bathroom to find all three girls together and got a hilarious look from my friends date.
Went back to find my friend still standing there...I guess waiting for them to get back. I was like dude, they definitely just fucking walked out, but he didn't but it at first until I told him to go ask the fucking bartender if those chicks gone up the stairs. I hadn't seen them leave, but it was pretty obvious to me what was up. Of course, they had left.
Bam. $60 bucks for 45' of average conversation and 20' of a game of Jenga and watching too chick play ping pong at a bar. Fucking hell. I should have had some sort of contingency plan or way of getting in touch with my friend about what was going down, but didn't and got wrecked badly.
It's a little funny, and there is a saying about a fool and his money....but I'm still pissed about that right now. My budget is tight AF, and that's basically enough to kill any eating out or fun events I wanted to do for this month. Wrecked. TBH only difference between you and your friend is you being a little more talkative and aware. It looks like you haven't directly tried to flirt with your girl, at least in a successful way. Sometimes in these scenarios playing your cards out open brings more luck than expecting something from the girls. I mean, if you talk friendly to her eventually you become a nice person to meet but nothing more than that. If I were you, I would use the opportunity when they were already drunk before hitting the pub, and joke around about some plans what would you guys do in the pub and after. For example after paying for your girl, you could just go next to her, reach for her hand and say smth like "After you m'lady!" and joke about stuff like "I think it's you on my share, hope you like xxx beer" for example. If girl is smiling and catching up to your jokes there's still high chance your buddy would ruin the night and girls leave together, because I think no girl will say, okay you go, I stay and fuck this fella. In this case I usually insist on playing some sort or truth and dare games in a round table where people have to ask question to each other, usually starts with "whats your real name hehehe" and then goes into "how many people you fooled with your beauty and broke their hearths after the night?" and if one player wants to skip can use 3 jokers, if 3 jokers are out, buying everyone beer. This game usually worked fine with me, most girls are extremely honest in their answers and if you manage to influence them with your jokes and answers, you say winning one decides what we do next, if girls win they say okay lets go and fuck because they already had fun, if you win, you say let's go for a walk, grab ice cream and then we can watch a movie or so. buying the ice cream while they're completely drunk can be evaded, anyways. you wouldnt lose anything if you got heavily rejected with your flirts, you don't know them, you won't see them again. always remember this for the next times. I dunno, I had some moments where I was flirting with her and having a good "vibe". The problem was, her friend wasn't always being engaged, which meant that she was always talking to the girl I was with more or less blocking my interactions. I could have tried to just work the whole group, but I didn't feel like that would have been good for my friend and the night still wouldn't have gone anywhere. I just don't think she was particularly attracted to my friend, and that was compounded by the fact that he either noticed that and let it psyche him out, or he just didn't have it.
Your friend sounds like a bad wingman
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On August 15 2018 04:33 ThunderJunk wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2018 12:06 L_Master wrote:On August 13 2018 02:53 lastpuritan wrote:On August 12 2018 12:38 L_Master wrote:
So a funny/painful one for y'all. Couple nights ago a friend of mine wanted to go on a date with this girl he had matched with on Tinder, but apparently she said to bring a friend it was going to be a double date. He asked me, and of course I'd never done that before and have been trying to get out more so I said sure, figured it would be an interesting experience.
Things got a little interesting when I saw the place they had decided on, which was a somewhat upscale Sushi place in Boulder. Not ridiculous, but not Applebee's or something either. I figured whatever, not big one Sushi but I'm here for the experience and I can order something on the lighter side. Met the girls, and they seemed fine at first. Very attractive and in good shape. Started hanging out and they immediately ordered drinks and the like (I passed, not wanting to spend to much). Next thing that made me wonder is they said they had decided to go out to bars after (my friend had said they were probably just going to go back to their place and watch a movie or whatever if they got along) and that they were going to have a friend joining them. In my head I'm kinda wondering how well this is going to go. Started talking and to be honest the conversation wasn't terrible. My date was reasonably fun to talk to, but these girls were VERY good friends and my friend wasn't being confidence/engaging tough to keep his girl heavily into him. Which meant they spent alot of time talking to each other, often with inside references.
I didn't feel like it was ON with the girl I was talking to, but got the impression she was at ;east modestly open/attracted. Conversation was overall decent, and they were at least to me reasonable to talk to outside of a decent number of interruptions by friend 2 to the girl I was talking to. Came time to order and I got something nice and inexpensive, my friend got something medium, and red flag #3 the girls both ordered double orders of fairly expensive stuff. The conversation continued to be okay, I got some light teasing in but really was never able to isolate and get into anything decent with my girl, and my friend definitely didn't. However, it wasn't leading anywhere, and I wasn't feeling too great about the situation. Red flag number 4 happened next and the girls both went to the bathroom together. A short while later red flag number 5 was coming up throughout the date though, and that was that both girls very much had people paying for shit they did. Heavily parental support, mentioning not having bought toilet paper or necessities ever because she would wait for Grandpa to spoil her, etc. Was getting a bit turned off and suspicious at this point. Then red flag number 6 came up, where my girl literally asked my friend if he would mow the lawn for them. It was slightly joking but clearly intended to be serious. I made a joke about maybe he would if there was a six pack of beer involved and the other girl basically emphasized for free.
Alarm bells ringing at defcon 1 at this point.
Few minutes later waiter comes back to bring the checks. I was getting ready to say bring us the four separate checks when my fucking friend goes "we'll split it two ways". FUCK. The bill was over $120, of which my share was $6. I don't know if he had totally missed that the conversation had been more or less very meh with no real energy (despite the girls allegedly already being a bit drunk) AND all the fucking hints. I was on the verge of insisting on a three way split, but bitched out. Ate $60.
We decided to go to a different bar. My date was still talking to me and while it wasn't going great, at least to me it didn't seem like a lost cause either. My friend literally just started leading to the bar not talking to either of the girls. We got to this bar (of course it's like Thursday at 8:30 so the bar is dead AF too) and went in. Soon as we got in the bar my friend's date dragged mine to the ping pong table to play. There were only two paddles, which left me and my friend both standing there next to the girls just watching. I was talking to my girl a bit, my friend....went and got a beer. Then just stood there. After this game, my friend's girl didn't just shut down, she literally went ice. She had been lightly receptive to me earlier, but now I made a joke or two and literally got a "fuck off dumbass" glare from her.
I just looked at my friend and gave him a "It's over, you done fucked up look". He still didn't seem to realize it, but he did say something about it not going well. The third friend arrived, I talked with her and my girl a bit, my friend stood off to the side while his chick went to get another drink. Shortly after she got back, my girl was like "I gotta pee". I also went to use the bathroom, and while walking away I heard one of the other girls say they were going to grab water. Walked out of the bathroom to find all three girls together and got a hilarious look from my friends date.
Went back to find my friend still standing there...I guess waiting for them to get back. I was like dude, they definitely just fucking walked out, but he didn't but it at first until I told him to go ask the fucking bartender if those chicks gone up the stairs. I hadn't seen them leave, but it was pretty obvious to me what was up. Of course, they had left.
Bam. $60 bucks for 45' of average conversation and 20' of a game of Jenga and watching too chick play ping pong at a bar. Fucking hell. I should have had some sort of contingency plan or way of getting in touch with my friend about what was going down, but didn't and got wrecked badly.
It's a little funny, and there is a saying about a fool and his money....but I'm still pissed about that right now. My budget is tight AF, and that's basically enough to kill any eating out or fun events I wanted to do for this month. Wrecked. TBH only difference between you and your friend is you being a little more talkative and aware. It looks like you haven't directly tried to flirt with your girl, at least in a successful way. Sometimes in these scenarios playing your cards out open brings more luck than expecting something from the girls. I mean, if you talk friendly to her eventually you become a nice person to meet but nothing more than that. If I were you, I would use the opportunity when they were already drunk before hitting the pub, and joke around about some plans what would you guys do in the pub and after. For example after paying for your girl, you could just go next to her, reach for her hand and say smth like "After you m'lady!" and joke about stuff like "I think it's you on my share, hope you like xxx beer" for example. If girl is smiling and catching up to your jokes there's still high chance your buddy would ruin the night and girls leave together, because I think no girl will say, okay you go, I stay and fuck this fella. In this case I usually insist on playing some sort or truth and dare games in a round table where people have to ask question to each other, usually starts with "whats your real name hehehe" and then goes into "how many people you fooled with your beauty and broke their hearths after the night?" and if one player wants to skip can use 3 jokers, if 3 jokers are out, buying everyone beer. This game usually worked fine with me, most girls are extremely honest in their answers and if you manage to influence them with your jokes and answers, you say winning one decides what we do next, if girls win they say okay lets go and fuck because they already had fun, if you win, you say let's go for a walk, grab ice cream and then we can watch a movie or so. buying the ice cream while they're completely drunk can be evaded, anyways. you wouldnt lose anything if you got heavily rejected with your flirts, you don't know them, you won't see them again. always remember this for the next times. I dunno, I had some moments where I was flirting with her and having a good "vibe". The problem was, her friend wasn't always being engaged, which meant that she was always talking to the girl I was with more or less blocking my interactions. I could have tried to just work the whole group, but I didn't feel like that would have been good for my friend and the night still wouldn't have gone anywhere. I just don't think she was particularly attracted to my friend, and that was compounded by the fact that he either noticed that and let it psyche him out, or he just didn't have it. Your friend sounds like a bad wingman
I was there winging for him. I haven't gone out in this context with him a ton, but yea if he was winging he wouldn't have been doing a very good job. Either he didn't have it the other night, or in general he may not have it, although that would rather surprise me since he is a fairly confident guy and isn't someone I would describe as struggling with women.
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On August 15 2018 06:50 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2018 04:33 ThunderJunk wrote:On August 14 2018 12:06 L_Master wrote:On August 13 2018 02:53 lastpuritan wrote:On August 12 2018 12:38 L_Master wrote:
So a funny/painful one for y'all. Couple nights ago a friend of mine wanted to go on a date with this girl he had matched with on Tinder, but apparently she said to bring a friend it was going to be a double date. He asked me, and of course I'd never done that before and have been trying to get out more so I said sure, figured it would be an interesting experience.
Things got a little interesting when I saw the place they had decided on, which was a somewhat upscale Sushi place in Boulder. Not ridiculous, but not Applebee's or something either. I figured whatever, not big one Sushi but I'm here for the experience and I can order something on the lighter side. Met the girls, and they seemed fine at first. Very attractive and in good shape. Started hanging out and they immediately ordered drinks and the like (I passed, not wanting to spend to much). Next thing that made me wonder is they said they had decided to go out to bars after (my friend had said they were probably just going to go back to their place and watch a movie or whatever if they got along) and that they were going to have a friend joining them. In my head I'm kinda wondering how well this is going to go. Started talking and to be honest the conversation wasn't terrible. My date was reasonably fun to talk to, but these girls were VERY good friends and my friend wasn't being confidence/engaging tough to keep his girl heavily into him. Which meant they spent alot of time talking to each other, often with inside references.
I didn't feel like it was ON with the girl I was talking to, but got the impression she was at ;east modestly open/attracted. Conversation was overall decent, and they were at least to me reasonable to talk to outside of a decent number of interruptions by friend 2 to the girl I was talking to. Came time to order and I got something nice and inexpensive, my friend got something medium, and red flag #3 the girls both ordered double orders of fairly expensive stuff. The conversation continued to be okay, I got some light teasing in but really was never able to isolate and get into anything decent with my girl, and my friend definitely didn't. However, it wasn't leading anywhere, and I wasn't feeling too great about the situation. Red flag number 4 happened next and the girls both went to the bathroom together. A short while later red flag number 5 was coming up throughout the date though, and that was that both girls very much had people paying for shit they did. Heavily parental support, mentioning not having bought toilet paper or necessities ever because she would wait for Grandpa to spoil her, etc. Was getting a bit turned off and suspicious at this point. Then red flag number 6 came up, where my girl literally asked my friend if he would mow the lawn for them. It was slightly joking but clearly intended to be serious. I made a joke about maybe he would if there was a six pack of beer involved and the other girl basically emphasized for free.
Alarm bells ringing at defcon 1 at this point.
Few minutes later waiter comes back to bring the checks. I was getting ready to say bring us the four separate checks when my fucking friend goes "we'll split it two ways". FUCK. The bill was over $120, of which my share was $6. I don't know if he had totally missed that the conversation had been more or less very meh with no real energy (despite the girls allegedly already being a bit drunk) AND all the fucking hints. I was on the verge of insisting on a three way split, but bitched out. Ate $60.
We decided to go to a different bar. My date was still talking to me and while it wasn't going great, at least to me it didn't seem like a lost cause either. My friend literally just started leading to the bar not talking to either of the girls. We got to this bar (of course it's like Thursday at 8:30 so the bar is dead AF too) and went in. Soon as we got in the bar my friend's date dragged mine to the ping pong table to play. There were only two paddles, which left me and my friend both standing there next to the girls just watching. I was talking to my girl a bit, my friend....went and got a beer. Then just stood there. After this game, my friend's girl didn't just shut down, she literally went ice. She had been lightly receptive to me earlier, but now I made a joke or two and literally got a "fuck off dumbass" glare from her.
I just looked at my friend and gave him a "It's over, you done fucked up look". He still didn't seem to realize it, but he did say something about it not going well. The third friend arrived, I talked with her and my girl a bit, my friend stood off to the side while his chick went to get another drink. Shortly after she got back, my girl was like "I gotta pee". I also went to use the bathroom, and while walking away I heard one of the other girls say they were going to grab water. Walked out of the bathroom to find all three girls together and got a hilarious look from my friends date.
Went back to find my friend still standing there...I guess waiting for them to get back. I was like dude, they definitely just fucking walked out, but he didn't but it at first until I told him to go ask the fucking bartender if those chicks gone up the stairs. I hadn't seen them leave, but it was pretty obvious to me what was up. Of course, they had left.
Bam. $60 bucks for 45' of average conversation and 20' of a game of Jenga and watching too chick play ping pong at a bar. Fucking hell. I should have had some sort of contingency plan or way of getting in touch with my friend about what was going down, but didn't and got wrecked badly.
It's a little funny, and there is a saying about a fool and his money....but I'm still pissed about that right now. My budget is tight AF, and that's basically enough to kill any eating out or fun events I wanted to do for this month. Wrecked. TBH only difference between you and your friend is you being a little more talkative and aware. It looks like you haven't directly tried to flirt with your girl, at least in a successful way. Sometimes in these scenarios playing your cards out open brings more luck than expecting something from the girls. I mean, if you talk friendly to her eventually you become a nice person to meet but nothing more than that. If I were you, I would use the opportunity when they were already drunk before hitting the pub, and joke around about some plans what would you guys do in the pub and after. For example after paying for your girl, you could just go next to her, reach for her hand and say smth like "After you m'lady!" and joke about stuff like "I think it's you on my share, hope you like xxx beer" for example. If girl is smiling and catching up to your jokes there's still high chance your buddy would ruin the night and girls leave together, because I think no girl will say, okay you go, I stay and fuck this fella. In this case I usually insist on playing some sort or truth and dare games in a round table where people have to ask question to each other, usually starts with "whats your real name hehehe" and then goes into "how many people you fooled with your beauty and broke their hearths after the night?" and if one player wants to skip can use 3 jokers, if 3 jokers are out, buying everyone beer. This game usually worked fine with me, most girls are extremely honest in their answers and if you manage to influence them with your jokes and answers, you say winning one decides what we do next, if girls win they say okay lets go and fuck because they already had fun, if you win, you say let's go for a walk, grab ice cream and then we can watch a movie or so. buying the ice cream while they're completely drunk can be evaded, anyways. you wouldnt lose anything if you got heavily rejected with your flirts, you don't know them, you won't see them again. always remember this for the next times. I dunno, I had some moments where I was flirting with her and having a good "vibe". The problem was, her friend wasn't always being engaged, which meant that she was always talking to the girl I was with more or less blocking my interactions. I could have tried to just work the whole group, but I didn't feel like that would have been good for my friend and the night still wouldn't have gone anywhere. I just don't think she was particularly attracted to my friend, and that was compounded by the fact that he either noticed that and let it psyche him out, or he just didn't have it. Your friend sounds like a bad wingman I was there winging for him. I haven't gone out in this context with him a ton, but yea if he was winging he wouldn't have been doing a very good job. Either he didn't have it the other night, or in general he may not have it, although that would rather surprise me since he is a fairly confident guy and isn't someone I would describe as struggling with women.
Well, winging and being successful on one's own are totally different skillsets. Winging requires putting your bro ahead of you, and playing a support role. It's worth it because the fact that it comes back to one massively increases one's opportunities. But not everyone knows how to put others ahead of themselves in that context. It's rare to find a really good wing.
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On August 16 2018 03:21 ThunderJunk wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2018 06:50 L_Master wrote:On August 15 2018 04:33 ThunderJunk wrote:On August 14 2018 12:06 L_Master wrote:On August 13 2018 02:53 lastpuritan wrote:On August 12 2018 12:38 L_Master wrote:
So a funny/painful one for y'all. Couple nights ago a friend of mine wanted to go on a date with this girl he had matched with on Tinder, but apparently she said to bring a friend it was going to be a double date. He asked me, and of course I'd never done that before and have been trying to get out more so I said sure, figured it would be an interesting experience.
Things got a little interesting when I saw the place they had decided on, which was a somewhat upscale Sushi place in Boulder. Not ridiculous, but not Applebee's or something either. I figured whatever, not big one Sushi but I'm here for the experience and I can order something on the lighter side. Met the girls, and they seemed fine at first. Very attractive and in good shape. Started hanging out and they immediately ordered drinks and the like (I passed, not wanting to spend to much). Next thing that made me wonder is they said they had decided to go out to bars after (my friend had said they were probably just going to go back to their place and watch a movie or whatever if they got along) and that they were going to have a friend joining them. In my head I'm kinda wondering how well this is going to go. Started talking and to be honest the conversation wasn't terrible. My date was reasonably fun to talk to, but these girls were VERY good friends and my friend wasn't being confidence/engaging tough to keep his girl heavily into him. Which meant they spent alot of time talking to each other, often with inside references.
I didn't feel like it was ON with the girl I was talking to, but got the impression she was at ;east modestly open/attracted. Conversation was overall decent, and they were at least to me reasonable to talk to outside of a decent number of interruptions by friend 2 to the girl I was talking to. Came time to order and I got something nice and inexpensive, my friend got something medium, and red flag #3 the girls both ordered double orders of fairly expensive stuff. The conversation continued to be okay, I got some light teasing in but really was never able to isolate and get into anything decent with my girl, and my friend definitely didn't. However, it wasn't leading anywhere, and I wasn't feeling too great about the situation. Red flag number 4 happened next and the girls both went to the bathroom together. A short while later red flag number 5 was coming up throughout the date though, and that was that both girls very much had people paying for shit they did. Heavily parental support, mentioning not having bought toilet paper or necessities ever because she would wait for Grandpa to spoil her, etc. Was getting a bit turned off and suspicious at this point. Then red flag number 6 came up, where my girl literally asked my friend if he would mow the lawn for them. It was slightly joking but clearly intended to be serious. I made a joke about maybe he would if there was a six pack of beer involved and the other girl basically emphasized for free.
Alarm bells ringing at defcon 1 at this point.
Few minutes later waiter comes back to bring the checks. I was getting ready to say bring us the four separate checks when my fucking friend goes "we'll split it two ways". FUCK. The bill was over $120, of which my share was $6. I don't know if he had totally missed that the conversation had been more or less very meh with no real energy (despite the girls allegedly already being a bit drunk) AND all the fucking hints. I was on the verge of insisting on a three way split, but bitched out. Ate $60.
We decided to go to a different bar. My date was still talking to me and while it wasn't going great, at least to me it didn't seem like a lost cause either. My friend literally just started leading to the bar not talking to either of the girls. We got to this bar (of course it's like Thursday at 8:30 so the bar is dead AF too) and went in. Soon as we got in the bar my friend's date dragged mine to the ping pong table to play. There were only two paddles, which left me and my friend both standing there next to the girls just watching. I was talking to my girl a bit, my friend....went and got a beer. Then just stood there. After this game, my friend's girl didn't just shut down, she literally went ice. She had been lightly receptive to me earlier, but now I made a joke or two and literally got a "fuck off dumbass" glare from her.
I just looked at my friend and gave him a "It's over, you done fucked up look". He still didn't seem to realize it, but he did say something about it not going well. The third friend arrived, I talked with her and my girl a bit, my friend stood off to the side while his chick went to get another drink. Shortly after she got back, my girl was like "I gotta pee". I also went to use the bathroom, and while walking away I heard one of the other girls say they were going to grab water. Walked out of the bathroom to find all three girls together and got a hilarious look from my friends date.
Went back to find my friend still standing there...I guess waiting for them to get back. I was like dude, they definitely just fucking walked out, but he didn't but it at first until I told him to go ask the fucking bartender if those chicks gone up the stairs. I hadn't seen them leave, but it was pretty obvious to me what was up. Of course, they had left.
Bam. $60 bucks for 45' of average conversation and 20' of a game of Jenga and watching too chick play ping pong at a bar. Fucking hell. I should have had some sort of contingency plan or way of getting in touch with my friend about what was going down, but didn't and got wrecked badly.
It's a little funny, and there is a saying about a fool and his money....but I'm still pissed about that right now. My budget is tight AF, and that's basically enough to kill any eating out or fun events I wanted to do for this month. Wrecked. TBH only difference between you and your friend is you being a little more talkative and aware. It looks like you haven't directly tried to flirt with your girl, at least in a successful way. Sometimes in these scenarios playing your cards out open brings more luck than expecting something from the girls. I mean, if you talk friendly to her eventually you become a nice person to meet but nothing more than that. If I were you, I would use the opportunity when they were already drunk before hitting the pub, and joke around about some plans what would you guys do in the pub and after. For example after paying for your girl, you could just go next to her, reach for her hand and say smth like "After you m'lady!" and joke about stuff like "I think it's you on my share, hope you like xxx beer" for example. If girl is smiling and catching up to your jokes there's still high chance your buddy would ruin the night and girls leave together, because I think no girl will say, okay you go, I stay and fuck this fella. In this case I usually insist on playing some sort or truth and dare games in a round table where people have to ask question to each other, usually starts with "whats your real name hehehe" and then goes into "how many people you fooled with your beauty and broke their hearths after the night?" and if one player wants to skip can use 3 jokers, if 3 jokers are out, buying everyone beer. This game usually worked fine with me, most girls are extremely honest in their answers and if you manage to influence them with your jokes and answers, you say winning one decides what we do next, if girls win they say okay lets go and fuck because they already had fun, if you win, you say let's go for a walk, grab ice cream and then we can watch a movie or so. buying the ice cream while they're completely drunk can be evaded, anyways. you wouldnt lose anything if you got heavily rejected with your flirts, you don't know them, you won't see them again. always remember this for the next times. I dunno, I had some moments where I was flirting with her and having a good "vibe". The problem was, her friend wasn't always being engaged, which meant that she was always talking to the girl I was with more or less blocking my interactions. I could have tried to just work the whole group, but I didn't feel like that would have been good for my friend and the night still wouldn't have gone anywhere. I just don't think she was particularly attracted to my friend, and that was compounded by the fact that he either noticed that and let it psyche him out, or he just didn't have it. Your friend sounds like a bad wingman I was there winging for him. I haven't gone out in this context with him a ton, but yea if he was winging he wouldn't have been doing a very good job. Either he didn't have it the other night, or in general he may not have it, although that would rather surprise me since he is a fairly confident guy and isn't someone I would describe as struggling with women. Well, winging and being successful on one's own are totally different skillsets. Winging requires putting your bro ahead of you, and playing a support role. It's worth it because the fact that it comes back to one massively increases one's opportunities. But not everyone knows how to put others ahead of themselves in that context. It's rare to find a really good wing.
I reckon I did a pretty good job when I was living alone in Brazil, but was (and am) still with my girlfriend. Went out a lot with a friend, and he basically picked a girl, and I distracted her friend(s). Worked pretty much every time (for him, of course, I was taken). It helps that he was what L_Master would grade a solid 9: tall, blond, good body, so it's hard to know whether a wingman was required in the first place, but we both had fun and he got all the girls, so it worked out!
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when u become the wing itself and girls ask you why dont you two give each other a chance. :O
it happened once.
I never had a shot with 1 wingman, it's better to have multiple i guess. more jokes and more stories that will praise me in the end! ^^
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On August 15 2018 04:29 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2018 14:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:On August 14 2018 11:51 L_Master wrote:
You could say I pussied out. I wasn't willing to be the guy who adamantly insisted on splitting the bill when my friend has already offered to pay for someone else.
I'm not trying to call you out or blame everything on you. I most likely would have done the same thing in this scenario. And he did threw you under the bus with his actions. Not much of a choice tbh. I know It's a fair point though. I could have been like nah, fuck this I ain't paying but the ensuing awkwardness and possible annoyance from my friend wasn't worth it. I do wish he would have told me beforehand he was planning to pay, but ah well you win some you lose some.
This isn't "ah well you win some you lose some." This is your friend deciding to piss away your money in order to appease two shady chicks in order to bet on a small chance of getting laid. You guys need to have a talk about what a stupid idea that was and that it should never happen again.
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Is that disclaimer to the thread new? I only disagree with the sentimwnt that a 'rape culture' exists. I know this isnt the place to discuss that, but can someone point me to some stats.
User was warned for this post
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On August 18 2018 06:08 MarlieChurphy wrote:
Is that disclaimer to the thread new? I only disagree with the sentimwnt that a 'rape culture' exists. I know this isnt the place to discuss that, but can someone point me to some stats.
User was warned for this post
Lol. New? It's been there for 2+ years now...
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Feels like more than that to me, but past a certain point, my TL timeline blurs
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Just check the last time this thread was closed and reopened again. The current header has been there since then
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Ayy, I remember the "good old times", when those arguments were taking place here. But I guess everyone can educate themselves about these "forbidden knowledge" stuff on the internet if they really want to, and decide themselves whether they want to dwell deeper into it or not.
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Been on two dates. One yesterday, and one today.
The one yesterday was one of the shortest dates I've been to. She was 30 (5 years older than me) and had two kids, single mom. Nothing serious intended, possibly some FWB type deal if it went well. We went for a walk, and dear lord. Her voice was so annoying, it was like I was talking to a 16 year old. She also waved her hands/arms waay to much. Really fucking expressive. Thankfully we only walked for like 30 minutes before we both realized we wanted nothing to do with each other.
Went on another walk with a girl today. She feels a bit too ... girly (?) for me? At least for me to get any sort of feelings. She seems to hate rain and wind. It was like a tiny bit windy and she didn't like it at all. I feel like I'm the complete opposite in that regard. Other than that the date was decent. No sparks or anything, but she was better looking than I expected. Problem with this girl is that I have my doubt that she will be interested in FWB or anything, and I doubt I will fall for her.
edit:
The girl who I went on a date with before these two just said she has been thinking and she isn't interested in meeting up again. It was pretty expected, not really sure why she dragged it on for like 2-3 weeks.
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Thankfully we only walked for like 30 minutes before we both realized we wanted nothing to do with each other.
Just curious, how did that happen?
"Let's end the date now, I'm not feeling it?"
Personally I don't think I could be that direct :D
I ended up sleeping with a 19-year old last week. It was meant to be a ONS, but we both caught some feelings and are interested in more, just hesitant because of the age difference (I'm 26). I'm meeting her again soon, we'll see what happens.
I remember the age discussion some pages back and reading GoTunk's (or someone else's?) posts thinking "Dude I would never date a 19 year old". One month later... fuck me xD
7 year age difference in general isn't that much of a problem I guess, but the fact that we're in our late teens/mid twenties just means we're at vastly different stages in life. Seems hard, almost impossible, to make it work tbh.
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The fact that you are talking about it here means you already know the answer to the question you indirectly asked and just needed confimation So, should you sleep with her again and then think, this might actually be working, be sure to know that i totally agree with you that your connection is real and no matter the age difference you are beautiful together. Or, i completely agree that you are were just doing it for the body rubbing and should end it now because even though it feels kinda great you are actually just suppressing your feeling that this is only for the short term to get more body rubbing. You are welcome
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On August 23 2018 16:35 Laurens wrote:Show nested quote +Thankfully we only walked for like 30 minutes before we both realized we wanted nothing to do with each other. Just curious, how did that happen? "Let's end the date now, I'm not feeling it?" Personally I don't think I could be that direct :D I ended up sleeping with a 19-year old last week. It was meant to be a ONS, but we both caught some feelings and are interested in more, just hesitant because of the age difference (I'm 26). I'm meeting her again soon, we'll see what happens. I remember the age discussion some pages back and reading GoTunk's (or someone else's?) posts thinking "Dude I would never date a 19 year old". One month later... fuck me xD 7 year age difference in general isn't that much of a problem I guess, but the fact that we're in our late teens/mid twenties just means we're at vastly different stages in life. Seems hard, almost impossible, to make it work tbh.
When I met my gf she was 19, sticking with her was the best decision I ever made. Almost 2 years together now.
The age difference has a positive side when it comes to the kids, most girls want them at 20 something and guys at 30 something so it adds up well.
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On August 23 2018 16:35 Laurens wrote:Show nested quote +Thankfully we only walked for like 30 minutes before we both realized we wanted nothing to do with each other. Just curious, how did that happen? "Let's end the date now, I'm not feeling it?" Personally I don't think I could be that direct :D I ended up sleeping with a 19-year old last week. It was meant to be a ONS, but we both caught some feelings and are interested in more, just hesitant because of the age difference (I'm 26). I'm meeting her again soon, we'll see what happens. I remember the age discussion some pages back and reading GoTunk's (or someone else's?) posts thinking "Dude I would never date a 19 year old". One month later... fuck me xD 7 year age difference in general isn't that much of a problem I guess, but the fact that we're in our late teens/mid twenties just means we're at vastly different stages in life. Seems hard, almost impossible, to make it work tbh.
I was the one leading, and lead us close to a subway. As we approached it she was like "Well I'm going to take the buss over there, but it was nice meeting you.". And I was like "CYA".
As for the 19 year old issue. I wouldn't mind dating a 19 year old, but she has to be mature, and most that age simply are not. Feels like at 19 they have barely begun partying or even started university and are usually far from starting working for real. The second girl I met I felt was kind of immature, and she had even a degree in some music thing.
Try discussing some more "mature subjects" and you will soon find out how far you are from each other. On the other hand, the girl who I probably found one of the most mature was a 17 FWB I had when I was 22. So being old obviously isn't always a must for maturity.
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EPT
