The Letting Off Steam Thread - Page 97

found out yesterday my grandad has cancer and has anywhere from 3 to 6 months to live ... life really is so cruel i love him so much my family is devestated

So I go to a work night out and my ex that broke up with me maybe a month ago is there, I avoid her for a bit but eventually since we're on the same lane playing bowling, she starts a conversation. She chastises me for making things awkward between us at work and (I'm in a good mood) I respond in a cheerily honest sort of way, I say yeah I know I'm sorry that I've been a bit off but it's been really hard on me, because she was the best thing that ever happened to me and then she left with little explanation beyond 'it doesn't feel the same', and expected me to go straight to being friends with her. I say I do try and be a man about it and I do have cordial conversations with her but, like it or not, I still miss her sometimes and it hurts to have her around.
All through this, as said, I'm not being too serious about it, making jokes, and she's even laughing at some of them, everything is cool, I say we can be friends, we hug, I promise not to make things awkward and drop it.
However earlier I heard her talking to a mate of mine about someone at work who fancies her...I can't help but listen and whoever it is is always saying how hot she is and how nice she is. She seems to be asking because she's interested. It's unpleasant to hear, so I make a point of saying to her that I'm sure she's moved on as she's a beautiful girl and there's probably a mile long queue of lads waiting for a chance, but really I'd rather not hear about it. I don't want to come into the staff room anymore and hear about her dates or guys that make her 'heart beat faster'. It's inconsiderate. She says that's cool bro and we smile, continue bowling and have a fun time.

I go out for a cigarette five minutes later and come back and one of my mates, a bit of a lad, has a different girlfriend every month, has his arms around her and is whispering in her ear. She looks at me briefly, with perhaps a shade of guilt, but then sits on his lap with her arm around him. His hands are roaming over her legs and waist. Not three feet away from me. I look away and pretend like it ain't no thing. But it's a thing.
I can't help it. I'm shaking with fury and jealousy my face feels flushed and I'm breathing heavily. I'm focusing on nothing but staring straight ahead and not turning around. The image of his hands over her is burning in my mind. A friend of mine leans over and says 'that's a bit out of order ennit?' nodding towards them and I force a smile and tell him hey a little bit but what business is it of mine? It's cool man I don't mind at all!
I had to leave and I strolled as nonchalantly as possible over to the toilet. As I walk past she is kissing him. I go into a cubicle and wait until I am sure the toilet is empty before punching the fuck out of the cubicle wall, I'm not thinking I'm just so full of bitterness and anger so suddenly, and I dent the wall a couple of times and I think do some damage to my hand, the knuckle is a bit swollen and it hurts like a bugger. It's stupid and childish but I'm seeing red, my knees are shaking and it feels like my chest is full of hot lead.

I know it's irrational. I know she's not mine anymore and she's free to do what she wants and I shouldn't care all too much. But it's out of my control, my brain is flooded with chemicals that are telling me to lay him out, he's a snake he's a cunt. But I like the guy. I can't blame him. I can't blame anyone. No one's done anything wrong. So why do I feel so fucking indescribably jealous; jealous isn't even the word it's too powerful for that. I'm incensed and I hate myself for it because it's stupid but I can't do anything about it.

I go outside to calm down and breathe deeply for a while, in through the nose out through the mouth, my feet are tapping with agitation. Ten minutes pass and they come out, together. Please no, I think. She's going home with him. I'm not angry with either of them, I'm just angry. At myself maybe.
For the rest of the night I think of little else, although I try to distract myself. The feeling in my chest doesn't go away. The flush in my cheeks is still there. An hour and a half later he's back. I try not to think
I confided in a couple of people and they sort of understood. I'm not going to let on to either her or him how shitty this is for me. I'm trying to - instead of putting it out of my mind - confront it and come to terms with it. It is, after all, not a rational feeling. She's not my girlfriend. I'd always hoped that whatever guy she moved on to wasn't a coworker because I knew it'd be hard. I'm going to have to deal with it, and I'm going to have to deal with people talking about it.

All my workmates are going for a few more drinks in the pub. I make excuses and get a taxi, as I go the guy looks over, waves and says see you later pal. I give a grin back and yeah have a good one...pal. SIGH. Can't be angry at him specifically. Not his fault. Not her fault. Just feel awful.

In short, FUCK. FUCKING HELL WHAT THE FUCK AARGH. I'm calming down a little writing this. Sorry for essay if anyone read it.

NA Ladder is full of insecure little kids that BM like no tomorrow.

Prevalent in basically every fucking league.

After so many CombatEX/Deezer wannabes going EZ EZ EZ, shit gets so fucking annoying.

OH ALSO FUCK MY BOSS FOR LAYING ME OFF.

JUST CUZ THAT OTHER CHICK BE SUCKIN YO DICK DOESNT MEAN SHES MORE QUALIFIED.

I FUCKING HATE THE WORD ESPORTS. STARCRAFT IS NOT A SPORT AND CALLING IT A SPORT JUST REINFORCES THE STEREOTYPES PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT GAMERS CALL IT WHAT IT IS: COMPETITION NOT A SPORT.

Cant fucking believe I just lost the girl of my dreams. We've been best friends for like 6 months and she tells me she loves me all the time and even kisses me sometimes(in a friendly way, not passionately) I had all the signs but i was too much of a pussy to do it and then some loser asks her out and says yes. I love her so much but lost her because i was too scared to capitalize. seriously fuck me. If i could punch myself in the face without feeling retarded I would.

Sucks man my grandpa just passed away from cancer last week and my grandma is coming right along behind him it's terrible. stay strong son.

my grandfather died bout 2 weeks ago idk what else to say >.<

Only one thing we can do, Stay strong son.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, FUCKING STUPID GIRLFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND KEEPS TAGGING ALONG AND KEEPS FUCKING EVERYTHING UP, ALSO A HUGE FUCKING COCKBLOCKER, LOOK WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR 2 MONTHS NOW WE DONT NEED A FUCKING THIRD WHEEL YOU CLINGY MOTHERFUCKER. I DON'T FUCKING MIND YOU COMING ALONG, BUT THE PART WHERE YOU PRETTY MUCH MAKE EVERYTHING LESS FUCKING ROMANTIC AND FUN IS, JESUS ANNOYING AS SHIT. IF YOU WERE A GUY I WOULD FUCKING PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BUT NOOOOO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE A COMPLETELY RETARDED SHITHEAD WHO ONLY KNOWS HOW TO FUCK THINGS UP FOR ME.

THANKS A LOT, SHITHEAD.

So i was in a shit situation, i couldn't find a job and i was staying with my parents. They were getting pissed because it had been 3 months and i wasn't able to get one. It wasn't that i wasn't trying, it was that 99% of the jobs out there had 40+ people trying to get them and i don't have much experience. So my parents tell me that they're kicking me out, just my luck that same day i get a call for a job interview and am most likely gonne get the job. So i got my parents to let me stay one more night and went to the interview and got the job. A week later the boss calls me into his office and tells me i'm suspended because the background check came up with a misdemeanor i have from 6 years ago (vandalism charge from a REALLY overzealous cop trying to meet his quota). What i didn't realize is that on the job application they asked if i commited ANY crimes, not just Felonies (like EVERY other place i applied to). So i get suspended for 5days, come back 5days later and i'm fired.
I ended up calling my friend and he said that if i could make it out to him (in another state) that he'd put me up and give me a job (at a fast food place, but it's still a job). He was telling me how his friend is gonna hook him up with a nice big job in Texas sometime in August and how he could totally get me in on it. So with the paycheck i got from my week of working i take a train and as much stuff as i can out to him. I get out there and its all cool, we get to his place and its very spartan for furniture (which i don't mind i brought an air matress to sleep on). I'm supposed to share a bathroom with him and i go to use it and i open the door and find the floor is covered (and i mean fucking COVERED) in dog shit from his Min-Pin, his toilet looks like it threw up on itself and the shower doesn't look any better. I tell him i'm not using that shit til he cleans it (that was 2 weeks ago). Last night he cleaned it finally and i was able to take a decent shower (had just been using a wash cloth and the sink in the kitchen before). As i'm laying in bed last night he comes over and sits next to me and tells me he got a message from his friend and that its most likely that the nice big job in Texas isn't going to happen and that he didn't really wanna do it anyways. So here i am, stuck in another state with only a little bit of money to my name and idk wtf to do. He basically led me along with a string of lies to help him feed himself (i got foodstamps and have been getting food with it because i didn't have any money to feed myself) and pay part of the rent ($150 of my $300 first check). All the while i burns his money paying for his (married to another guy) girlfriend's phone, liquor and drugs (mostly weed and some cough syrup).

So idk wtf to do, i get paid again on the 18th and its probably gonna be another $300 check and that'd bring me up to ~$400 to do/go somewhere with. I'm almost positive that my parents won't allow me back with them and i don't have any family or other friends i can stay with, so i'm basically SOL.

That's fucked up man. hope you get back on your feet soon.

Dude you are taking this way better than I would have. Props to you for being able to hold it in as much as you did. If it was me, I absolutely would have laid that guy out. You said he's one of your mates? Friends don't date friends exes. Period. If, and this is a huge if, this guy felt genuine feelings of out of this world crazy love for her, then maybe. But even then, the guy should go to you first and explain the situation. And if you say it's not cool, then he backs off. Simple as that. But that's just the way it works with me and my friends. Life must kind of suck right now, but as soon as you meet someone else, and you will, then things will get infinitely better. Hang in there bro!

damn man, a few years ago, it was all cool and awesome if you studied overseas, no matter what kind of grades you got, what uni you grad from, it didn't matter that much because it shows you have experience in oversea and able to open your eyes and broaden your experience etc.
But somehow now everyone is studying aboard and grades and stuff everything matters again. If you don't get good grades in oversea uni, you are f-ed. They would think you are not good enough to study in Hong Kong Uni and just laid back in oversea uni.
the worst part is that most chinese (or indon) here are just sticking as a group, either extremely lazy chilling, partying, buying audi cars and houses, getting average grades. They don't even speak english at all, but because they get private tutors who have exam notes and sometimes do their assignments for them for a price (not tutor from their own uni), they are getting same grades as me.
FFFF (not racists against chinese or indon, it's just they tend to hang out with their own nationality)
Studying abroad will broaden your vision? Does not matter a single bit if you don't have any grades to back up your CV

Great, so now the economy is crashing, and going to be this way for a while. I am not good enough to go master because firstly I am not smart enough, secondly I chose difficult units like econmetrics to get a minor that actually don't matter so much, thirdly I am just not too hardwork enough.
If I knew what units you did in uni didn't matter, I would have picked the easy ones. Seriously, tonnes of people here just do japanese and chinese to pull up their marks because they actually know the language themselves.

Need work for experience, need experience for work....jesus. what's wrong with this world.
Now I just hope to find a stable job that won't kick me out for no reason, especially I had a record of missing one year of uni because my UK visa had problem and I had to study in another country from first year again (I was in 2nd year in UK)

Thank you. He's not exactly a close friend or I'd expect the same as you but even so I'm going to have to pull him aside at some point and tell him that I don't wanna hear or see a damn thing about it, and if I do then I am liable to lose control. I don't expect I'll be going for any drinks with him again any time soon.

FUCK ZvP. Wanna 3 base push? Fucking Forcefields! Wanna t3 army? FUCKING TOILET!

Fuck me been having a hard last two weeks because of depression due to girls/family members dying and have not been doing well on ladder so i get fucking placed in diamond when i was top 20 master this season. fuck me. Also LOL diamond league is soooo ez XD

Note to myself: the back button is not top left but right to your right hand thumb, use it to get as fast as possible from this depressing place! Brrrrr...

I don't know what to do with my fucking life and I have loads of debts from school because this fucking capitalist system sucks huge dick, finding a job is hard because this fucking system sucks dick and all the small jobs have been taken over by huge multinationals who dont give a flying fuck about their employees...

What's currently pissing me off is the rise of MOBAS or ARTS or lazy cunt games or whatever you subhumans want to call them. Dota I can handle; it is, at least, linked to back when Blizzard wasn't an F- developer. All League of Legends players should be tried and executed for conspiracy to play awful games

Man I'm sore about how awful D3 is. No, I'm not a whiner. No, I'm not just suffering from "nostalgia", you snide fuckheads. The story is dross (saturday cartoon lesser evils abound, at least Diablo has the sense not to gloat before he's actually winning), the shitty arstyle doesn't even try to mask the utter technical deficiencies present, and what's most damning, the game is designed to fuck the players so that Robert Kotick can make more jew gold. How deep does this man's penis have to be in your anus before you realize he's fucking you?