UPDATE: I ask forum moderators to watch this topic carefully. There are many members coming here just to argue with eachother or about advice given (alot of which I didn't even post) or just to flame and debunk this thread. I already asked everyone to be respectful and not to post if you don't have a question or some advice, or at least something constructive to say. If you wish to bicker with eachother: use PM, not this thread.
During the last couple weeks in livestream chatrooms, many desperate souls have come to me requesting advice on the ladies. Well as requested: here is the LarJarsE attraction and relationship tipline.
That's right! Attraction AND relationships. I've dealt with both in my days, and let me tell you: I know everything you need to know to get her to smile OR, make her fall in love (or lust, preferrably).
Are you curious about the way she acted? Are you curious about how you should act? When to make the move? Dating tips? The fact of the matter is: If you can learn about a game as in depth at Starcraft, you most likely have the intelligence and capability to turn yourself in to a superior, effecient, all confident ladies man woman attraction machine. You get better at Starcraft without some tips here and there, and dating is the same way.
Fire away, you have nothing to lose!
EDIT: If you can be specific about your situation or a hypothetical one, it would increase the quality of my advice.
EDIT: Remember to keep it clean and respectful. Thankyou. AGAIN: If you don't have a question or answer, or have anything useful to say in this topic, please find somewhere else to post.
ANOTHER EDIT: This thread has gotten pretty hectic. There are many others trying to give advice. Even if someone else has attempted to answer a question, I will respond with my own personal insight.PMing me is also another way to get a question answered promply, as many others have already.
I understand that at first, you may be embarrassed or insecure to ask a question; but what asking a question online is as least embarrasing as it gets, and just shows that you are trying to improve your game.
theres this girl i like in school but i have been always having trouble talking to her because im shy or because shes mostly quiet. i got rejected once by her but i cant get her off my mind. i really want a chance with her. any ideas of suggestion?
On October 17 2009 07:19 Oedi wrote: Ok, i'll shoot, how do you convince a girl that your the bad boy the she always wanted to change?
Oedi, I don't suggest that you try to make yourself to look like the badboy, but IF you want to chose that path:
try getting a heart tattoo on your shoulder, and "accidently" expose it while taking off your leather jacket. if she doesn't say anything, say "you didn't see that, did you?"
On October 17 2009 07:23 geegee1 wrote: theres this girl i like in school but i have been always having trouble talking to her because im shy or because shes mostly quiet. i got rejected once by her but i cant get her off my mind. i really want a chance with her. any ideas of suggestion?
If you got rejected by a girl who you are still attracted to, you are better off waiting for a different approach. Talk to women confidently around her. Make yourself look like she should have taken advantage of the opportunity you gave her. After a couple or a few weeks, maybe she has changed her mind and you should start very casual conversation with her, nothing serious. She may look at you differently with your new confidence.
On October 17 2009 07:19 Oedi wrote: Ok, i'll shoot, how do you convince a girl that your the bad boy the she always wanted to change?
Oedi, I don't suggest that you try to make yourself to look like the badboy, but IF you want to chose that path:
try getting a heart tattoo on your shoulder, and "accidently" expose it while taking off your leather jacket. if she doesn't say anything, say "you didn't see that, did you?"
On October 17 2009 07:21 Haemonculus wrote: Why aren't the womens attracted to me? There's obviously something wrong with their gender as whole, and nothing wrong with myself, right?
It could be many different things. Do you dress offensively? Do you have bad hygene? Do you have a style that is outrageous from the "norm?"
Or it could be the way you carry yourself. Attractive women do not want to be intimate with people who they see as losers, or people who they think are below their standards. Carrying yourself as a confident man with no worries and a cocky smirk will make you go places. You can try being more aggressive by reasonable means: Walk with your chest slightly out, shoulders relaxed and tucked back. Talk like a confident man, slightly deeper and more pronounciated. Don't try to be someone you are not. Try to be you, but just more confident. Women will notice you and you will notice also.
What do you do when a girl you like consistently beats you at basketball, one-on-one? She's very attractive but I think the constant emasculation is a turn off for her.
I can't use any of my low post moves on her because she's six inches taller than me, and my sky-hook is fairly inaccurate. Most of my friends tell me I need to crash the boards harder, but how can I?? She's got a wingspan like a pterodactyl and she's definitely not afraid to use her elbows. I've been working on my perimeter game, but it's hard to shoot over a defender who can block out the sun. I think she's trying to make me earn my living at the free-throw line, but I'm too much of a gentleman to call a foul! HELP!!
There's this girl who challenged me to SCBW but I know I'm going to get smashed into dust. I really want to win so that maybe she will be impressed. Do you recommend that I get someone else to play for me or just use oblivion?
On October 17 2009 07:23 geegee1 wrote: theres this girl i like in school but i have been always having trouble talking to her because im shy or because shes mostly quiet. i got rejected once by her but i cant get her off my mind. i really want a chance with her. any ideas of suggestion?
You have to stop focussing on her. Don't ever give a girl the power to decide if you feel good about life or not if you don't have that same power over her.
First accept the rejection. Don't stop living your life. When she sees you feel good about life despite her rejection she'll start seeing her rejection more as a missed opportunity for her than massive fail on your side. That's when you can get a second chance. And you'll take that second chance much more confidently knowing that you don't have to succeed as you know that you're living your life anyway.
On October 17 2009 07:32 LordWeird wrote: There's this girl who challenged me to SCBW but I know I'm going to get smashed into dust. I really want to win so that maybe she will be impressed. Do you recommend that I get someone else to play for me or just use oblivion?
On October 17 2009 07:32 LordWeird wrote: There's this girl who challenged me to SCBW but I know I'm going to get smashed into dust. I really want to win so that maybe she will be impressed. Do you recommend that I get someone else to play for me or just use oblivion?
Let her win, but make sure you let her know you just let her win. Getting a girl's attention should not be about competing against her. Stick to face-to-face activities.
To all: It's important to know that actually doing an activity with a woman on a date isn't important at all. The important thing is that you are together and you both wanted to meet up. Don't take her out to eat at first. It is a better idea to say you have something to do and ask her if she would like to come.
At the end of a convo: Well I was going to pick up some mesh shorts, you can come along if you'd like.
If she says yes, she is probably attracted to you, and you asked her on a date with the least expectations. No worries!
k i don't know how this thread got so far but in making a relationship thread, you are obligated to prove your credentials. please post pictures of all of your conquests in various poses and degrees of clothedness so that we may better evaluate your prowess.
On October 17 2009 07:34 larjarse wrote: GOB: I suggest you joke around with her. Say you are just letting her win. Ask her what else you can let her win at. Don't forget to give her a smile
I've tried that before, but I think saying, "I'm just letting you win," comes across as a little unbelievable when I'm gasping for air, sweating profusely, and already starting to bruise. I'm somewhat afraid to ask her what else she can win at, as she may easily reply with "arm wrestling" or "chin-ups".
On October 17 2009 07:21 Haemonculus wrote: Why aren't the womens attracted to me? There's obviously something wrong with their gender as whole, and nothing wrong with myself, right?
It could be many different things. Do you dress offensively? Do you have bad hygene? Do you have a style that is outrageous from the "norm?"
Or it could be the way you carry yourself. Attractive women do not want to be intimate with people who they see as losers, or people who they think are below their standards. Carrying yourself as a confident man with no worries and a cocky smirk will make you go places. You can try being more aggressive by reasonable means: Walk with your chest slightly out, shoulders relaxed and tucked back. Talk like a confident man, slightly deeper and more pronounciated. Don't try to be someone you are not. Try to be you, but just more confident. Women will notice you and you will notice also.
Act a bit cocky, aggressive, and alter my gait, while not being something I'm not. Got it. A+ advice, thanks!
On October 17 2009 07:32 LordWeird wrote: There's this girl who challenged me to SCBW but I know I'm going to get smashed into dust. I really want to win so that maybe she will be impressed. Do you recommend that I get someone else to play for me or just use oblivion?
Let her win, but make sure you let her know you just let her win. Getting a girl's attention should not be about competing against her. Stick to face-to-face activities.
Pretty solid advice, but what if she masses firebats????
GOB: I suggest you quit. Say it's time for something else, and you are getting bored with letting her win all the time. Say we can get coffee after or have lunch or something.
really the best advice i have is: a) get a better job b) have some spare money to throw around c) get a sick car d) never ever tell her you're GOING to do something - girls dont care - just DO IT e) play guitar and sing reasonably well f) if you're skinny then work out for 5 years until you're bulky and sick g) if you're fat just lose a bit of weight and you'll look bulky - that's enough h) be ENERGETIC i) get plastic surgery if you need it lol
On October 17 2009 07:47 Bosu wrote: How do I bag a black chick? It is my dream.
Some black women simply aren't into other races, as for any ethnicity.
When approaching any woman, just be your confident self. Understand your own body language and how others percieve it. Understand what people are saying subconsciously with theirs. Look it up online if you have to
On October 17 2009 07:54 BalliSLife wrote: Hm well I want her
That isn't right, and you aren't a friend of that guy at all. The most responsible thing to do is to let him know that you have feelings for his girl. That is the first step.
Or you can be a shady shyster, and make things up about him. Tell those rumors to HER friends. She'll find out.
On October 17 2009 07:54 BalliSLife wrote: Hm well I want her
That isn't right, and you aren't a friend of that guy at all. The most responsible thing to do is to let him know that you have feelings for his girl. That is the first step.
Or you can be a shady shyster, and make things up about him. Tell those rumors to HER friends. She'll find out.
There is a girl I want to be with but I don't know anything about her religion (and respective piety), family and family history, socio-economic class, artistic and literary talents, sensitivity/romanticism/sentimentalism, patriotism/provincialism or rootedness in her native culture, cooking & cleaning (or other domestic abilities), mental and emotional stability, historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life, racial origins (not already clear), or feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc).
How can I go about finding these things to decide if she is the girl for me?
On October 17 2009 07:54 BalliSLife wrote: Hm well I want her
That isn't right, and you aren't a friend of that guy at all. The most responsible thing to do is to let him know that you have feelings for his girl. That is the first step.
Or you can be a shady shyster, and make things up about him. Tell those rumors to HER friends. She'll find out.
Yep he's trolling, that would get me killed.
Maybe you shouldn't ask a dumb question like "how do I get my friend's girl?"
On October 17 2009 08:03 heyoka wrote: how do I know about girls
The first step to getting to know ANYONE is by talking to them.
If your goal is to date more often, and more women, then most of that information is not needed for conversation. In fact if you ask about any of that stuff, you will most likely come off as a weirdo who is overstepping personal boundaries. Approach women with no expectations. Ask her where she is from. Ask her what she does for fun. Ask her what she thinks about guys with facial hair. Pubic hair? test the waters. Don't go into personal information, it may make her feel uncomfortable.
On October 17 2009 08:01 MeriaDoKk wrote: How can I have a relation with a girl when I don't speak to anyone and no one speaks to me in my university because I hate people?
If you hate people, this is not the topic for you!
On October 17 2009 07:48 Haemonculus wrote: Act a bit cocky, aggressive, and alter my gait, while not being something I'm not. Got it. A+ advice, thanks!
Please take my advice open-mindedly, as I do not have the time to write a step by step instruction manual for every single question.
ok, there's this chick that i always liked. I try to act cool and stuff, and i tryed to impress her with showing some skills. for instance: i "accidently" plugged my laptop to the big classroom screen and showed some BW micro, killing one lurker with one marine.
The thing is, those damn lurkers are imba, i mean, they rape the shit outa your marines when your looking if chicks are watching or not.
but i'm a cool confident guy so i didn't gave up, so the next day i tryed again showcasing my unreal muta micro.
dude, those pesky marines are just imba vs zerg, i was seeing if i was popular already and they raped my mutas while i was moving.
Seeing the situation was geting worse and worse, the terran had my nat contained, so i rage quitted and tryed my last resort, try to sex the girl asap.
what should i do now? Should i try to dress diferently or work on my muta micro? plz help i am so confused right now
On October 17 2009 08:15 SagaZ wrote: ok, i tried to impress this girl with starcraft skills
Women do not give a damn about how good you are at Starcraft. Attempting to literally impress a girl will most likely make you look like a toolish attention whore. No offense.
If you've got skills, let the skills talk for you, but be modest about it.
On October 17 2009 08:16 BalliSLife wrote: How do you know when a girl wants you as a friend or is attracted to you in a sexual way
How often does she talk to you? How often do you talk in person?
Read her body language when you two interact in person, but do make it obvious and DO NOT STARE. It is okay, however to hold eye contact longer than she does, then look away. This shows you are not afraid to look in the eye of a girl, and that you are confident.
If she tends to face you, look at you, or give you most attention in a social setting, she probably is attracted to you. When she looks at you, does her pupils dilate? This is a sure sign of interest and usually goes unnoticed. Does she expose her forearms and hands when she talks to you? Thats another sign she is attracted to you.
On October 17 2009 08:15 SagaZ wrote: ok, i tried to impress this girl with starcraft skills
Women do not give a damn about how good you are at Starcraft. Attempting to literally impress a girl will most likely make you look like a toolish attention whore. No offense.
If you've got skills, let the skills talk for you, but be modest about it.
Ok, got it, but if i manage to make my display look accidental (like the tatoo example) what kind of micro should i do? muta micro? zealot perhaps? I'm pretty good at desert strike ums too if you think it's more suited
SagaZ, I'm afraid you have the idea of attraction all wrong, and you are in a psycological state that I cannot even begin to help manage to normal. Spend some time away from gaming websites and look up the real science of attraction and social interaction between males and females.
EDIT: And if yuo have skills, don't make them look accidental. Yeah you're good, but it didn't happen by accident, and I'm also not a douche bag flaunting my skills and trying to get attention.
On October 17 2009 08:27 StartAgain wrote: He's trolling. Don't you see that? o.o~!
I didn't even know what trolling was until 20 minutes go.
This is a legitimate topic and (some) people are asking legitimate questions, and I am doing my best to give legimitate answers to everyone. If you have a question or concern, feel free to ask! This is a friendly learning environment here.
Well there's this prostitute I know but I'm not sure how to approach her. Should I strike up a conversation and invite her out to lunch or just wave my wallet in the air?
On October 17 2009 08:35 Nytefish wrote: Well there's this prostitute I know but I'm not sure how to approach her. Should I strike up a conversation and invite her out to lunch or just wave my wallet in the air?
On October 17 2009 07:49 larjarse wrote: GOB: I suggest you quit. Say it's time for something else, and you are getting bored with letting her win all the time. Say we can get coffee after or have lunch or something.
You don't think she might interpret this as me giving up? I'm not very competitive, I just cannot stand losing. I feel like if I back away from the challenge, she might not respect me at all.
I'm not afraid to play dirty, if you think that might help. I'm not going to HURT her, really, but I could certainly let her know that she can't drive down my lane without paying a toll.
What's really frustrating is that most of my on-court gifts are lost in one-on-one; my court vision, my distribution ability, and my uncanny knack for rolling out of picks are all worth nothing against her. I'm also not getting great arch support from these sneakers I currently wear, so I think I can attribute some of my problem to that. Appreciate all the help.
Hi larjarse. I'm a nerd and an example of the rule that no types of hints from women work on men. I was wondering if i could have some advice to tell if a girl is flirting with me or might like me.
GOB: Give her a little push, a little trip. Don't actually try to hurt her, but show her that you can get physical and you are not afraid to. Basketball IS a physical game, and you can incorporate flirting.
REMEMBER: Basketball is not the only court of love. you need to broaden your view!
On October 17 2009 07:18 fanatacist wrote: Who are you again?
why does it matter who he is you dont need 3000 posts to contribute to tl.
It matters because some idiot that no one knows/cares about is posting "attraction advice" which involves getting a tattoo on your arm. He's clearly trolling. Don't be a retard.
On October 17 2009 08:39 zergnewb wrote: Hi larjarse. I'm a nerd and an example of the rule that no types of hints from women work on men. I was wondering if i could have some advice to tell if a girl is flirting with me or might like me.
If you read my previous posts in this topic, I skim the water about how you know a woman is attracted to you. I, also, am a nerd, however, why would you let that hold you back?!?!! If you are smart, you can figure things out, and this is just another thing to figure out.
When a girl talks to you, does she play with her hair? Does she looks at your lips? Does she do unneccessary grooming motions like fixing clothing over and over? These signs can mean that she has interest in you.
On October 17 2009 07:18 fanatacist wrote: Who are you again?
why does it matter who he is you dont need 3000 posts to contribute to tl.
It matters because some idiot that no one knows/cares about is posting "attraction advice" which involves getting a tattoo on your arm. He's clearly trolling. Don't be a retard.
That question about being a bad boy was clearly sarcastic, and I gave a clearly sarcastic anwer.
I am not going to respond to any other user's trolling, because my posts are the opposite. Fanatacist, if you would like advice, I would be more than pleased to help a fellow TL member out.
On October 17 2009 08:43 larjarse wrote: GOB: Give her a little push, a little trip. Don't actually try to hurt her, but show her that you can get physical and you are not afraid to. Basketball IS a physical game, and you can incorporate flirting.
REMEMBER: Basketball is not the only court of love. you need to broaden your view!
Yeah, you're probably right. It's also REALLY hard to conceal an erection while you're running in gym shorts, and playing in jeans tires me out really fast.
How do you suggest I transition from the basketball court to the bed room? I mean, we've never really talked outside of the YMCA, and even then most of our conversations have been one sided; she will generally score some points and mock me (just playfully I think), and I will usually just blush or apologize for my poor defense.
What is the best strategy here? I would like to make love to her while spending as little of my own money as possible.
On October 17 2009 08:39 zergnewb wrote: Hi larjarse. I'm a nerd and an example of the rule that no types of hints from women work on men. I was wondering if i could have some advice to tell if a girl is flirting with me or might like me.
If you read my previous posts in this topic, I skim the water about how you know a woman is attracted to you. I, also, am a nerd, however, why would you let that hold you back?!?!! If you are smart, you can figure things out, and this is just another thing to figure out.
When a girl talks to you, does she play with her hair? Does she looks at your lips? Does she do unneccessary grooming motions like fixing clothing over and over? These signs can mean that she has interest in you.
Hhmm. Sounds like decent advice thanks :D P.S. were you watching Nongmin today? i think you were there talking about something similar to this.
GOB: I have good news in store for you if you don't wish to spend money on her.
Women typically have three types of men in their life:
1. Friends. Have alot of female friends, meet alot of females, move on to more than friends. Friend's isn't always a bad thing.
2. The lover. This is where you want to be. To her, this is the sexual figure she thinks about when she is with her provider. We'll talk about him next. This is the confident, sexy, straightforward man she calls for a good time. She feels lucky to have him in her life. She calls him more than he calls her, because he has it like that.
3. The provider. This is her emotional outlet. This is the man that takes her out to dinner and blue balls at the last moment. This is the guys who, from the start, started buying her shit. He compliments her and is overly nice. He calls her more than she calls him. DONT BE THIS GUY.
On October 17 2009 09:02 larjarse wrote: GOB: I have good news in store for you if you don't wish to spend money on her.
Women typically have three types of men in their life:
1. Friends. Have alot of female friends, meet alot of females, move on to more than friends. Friend's isn't always a bad thing.
2. The lover. This is where you want to be. To her, this is the sexual figure she thinks about when she is with her provider. We'll talk about him next. This is the confident, sexy, straightforward man she calls for a good time. She feels lucky to have him in her life. She calls him more than he calls her, because he has it like that.
3. The provider. This is her emotional outlet. This is the man that takes her out to dinner and blue balls at the last moment. This is the guys who, from the start, started buying her shit. He compliments her and is overly nice. He calls her more than she calls him. DONT BE THIS GUY.
Wow, that is good news. How do I make sure that I become the #2? I don't have her number at the moment, and the only place I know her from is the YMCA. I don't want to meet her there again because we'll just end up playing basketball again, and we've already decided that doing that anymore is probably a bad idea. Should I wait until she leaves the Y one day and follow her to somewhere else, and then "accidentally" run into her there? I'm talking about like a Starbucks or the bank, not her house.
Don't follow her. If you both are a frequent at the gym, then strike up a convo when you see her. Let her know you do have a life outside of the gym. Ask her if she would like to get coffee or something some time, and after her response make yourself sound busy. "Alright well I gotta get going, I told my friend I would help her after I got out"
On October 17 2009 07:18 fanatacist wrote: Who are you again?
why does it matter who he is you dont need 3000 posts to contribute to tl.
It matters because some idiot that no one knows/cares about is posting "attraction advice" which involves getting a tattoo on your arm. He's clearly trolling. Don't be a retard.
all the advice he's given is 100% dead-on. He answered a ridiculous question with a ridiculous answer, but it would work. I suggest you grade him on the quality of all of his answers instead of judging him on his response to a semi-troll and his post count.
You probably need to ask him a couple questions too if you don't see the truth of his advice.
My question: I need a casual date excuse for a girl I know. This isn't where I live so I don't have a car but she does. I'm also the first boy she's ever kissed, and I can't spend enough time with her to actually make-out with her (maybe 1 hour every couple weeks). She doesn't wanna do anything past occasional close-lipped. What's a situation I can make that would get her to really just relax and let me kiss her?
On October 17 2009 07:30 GOB wrote: What do you do when a girl you like consistently beats you at basketball, one-on-one? She's very attractive but I think the constant emasculation is a turn off for her.
I can't use any of my low post moves on her because she's six inches taller than me, and my sky-hook is fairly inaccurate. Most of my friends tell me I need to crash the boards harder, but how can I?? She's got a wingspan like a pterodactyl and she's definitely not afraid to use her elbows. I've been working on my perimeter game, but it's hard to shoot over a defender who can block out the sun. I think she's trying to make me earn my living at the free-throw line, but I'm too much of a gentleman to call a foul! HELP!!
LMAO GOB has posted a quality series of posts in this thread
Okay, you've already made great leaps with this girl. You know she is attracted to you. You are asking me how to get intimate with her.
I would suggest watch a movie with her, not in theaters. At someone's house, with you two alone.
Women know what men want, they want to be intimate right here and now, with no fight to it.
MY ADVICE: Hold back on the sexual intimacy. When you are hanging with her during the movie, don't go in for the kiss immediately. Talk to her a bit, show her your good humor and show her you are comfortable not being intimate with her right in front of you. This will confuse her, she will wonder why you haven't made a move yet.
And right before she is about to give up on you, get closer, maybe a small compliment may help, and move in for the makeout session. After kissing for a little, if you are into it, and you notice she is (even remotely into it) just STOP. Find something else to seemingly occupy your attention for a short while. Go to the bathroom right quick. Talk about something else. Pick up a magizine and read it for a little.
Carefully notice how she responds to this. She is going to be confused, guys do not act like this! And before she actually gets frustrated or loses hope, move in again. She will LOVE the fact that you still want her. Do this in small steps, and she may be more and more into it every time, getting closer and closer to sexual intimacy. Girls LOVE being chased! If you show her that you can restrain yourself and you have other things on your mind besides sex, she will be confused and try to make you WANT HER.
One night you just met a girl. How do you break down her boundaries for a one night stand? Assume she's not an outrageous nympho nor super conservative.
Hey,larjarse; I am AdrenalZG44. So, like I said, I know two girls in my actuarial math class; one I saw from calc 1 class from freshman year, and another one (this is the tall girl I talked about) I saw from interest theory math class last year. The tall girl seems a lot more athletic; she always rides rollerblades to class. Anyways, recently, I find myself talking more to the first girl I met from calc 1 class, and today was probably the day that I talked to her the longest out of all other days.
My questions are:
1. How do I know if she has a boyfriend without asking her about it? 2. How can I meet her and get together to know each other better if she lives off campus, like 45 minutes away from campus, if I don't have a car here? Would it be rude to ask her when she is in campus most of times?
One night stands are another thing. Getting a girl to have sex with you the FIRST NIGHT she meets you can mean a couple things.
1. She fucks around. 2. She/you were drunk when this happened.
It is a better idea to go out, approach and talk to women confidently, learn how to maintain conversation with women you just met, get numbers or emails or other means of contact. Most importantly: ENJOY YOURSELF. If you are a confident guy who just enjoys himself meeting and talking to women, there WILL be women attracted to you.
And during this process, you may find yourself going further than you would ever imagine, maybe even a one night stand if that's what you are into!
On October 17 2009 07:30 GOB wrote: What do you do when a girl you like consistently beats you at basketball, one-on-one? She's very attractive but I think the constant emasculation is a turn off for her.
I can't use any of my low post moves on her because she's six inches taller than me, and my sky-hook is fairly inaccurate. Most of my friends tell me I need to crash the boards harder, but how can I?? She's got a wingspan like a pterodactyl and she's definitely not afraid to use her elbows. I've been working on my perimeter game, but it's hard to shoot over a defender who can block out the sun. I think she's trying to make me earn my living at the free-throw line, but I'm too much of a gentleman to call a foul! HELP!!
I know that I'm a stupid monkey animal that want to fuck girls. The point is that I consider dating girls like a loss of time/money (but because "time is money", then it's almost the same thing). But that's not really important. Also, when I meet a beautiful girl, it always put me in a bad, unstable, psychological state that depresses me for weeks and weeks and I can't do anything good.
What should I do to avoid psychological troubles so I can stay happy in life?
On October 17 2009 09:39 ProHellZerg wrote: Hey,larjarse; I am AdrenalZG44. So, like I said, I know two girls in my actuarial math class; one I saw from calc 1 class from freshman year, and another one (this is the tall girl I talked about) I saw from interest theory math class last year. The tall girl seems a lot more athletic; she always rides rollerblades to class. Anyways, recently, I find myself talking more to the first girl I met from calc 1 class, and today was probably the day that I talked to her the longest out of all other days.
My questions are:
1. How do I know if she has a boyfriend without asking her about it? 2. How can I meet her and get together to know each other better if she lives off campus, like 45 minutes away from campus, if I don't have a car here? Would it be rude to ask her when she is in campus most of times?
Thanks.
1.) Finding out if she has a boyfriend is an indication you are interested in her. Be careful with this. Most men have the tendency to be way too generous with their shows of interest.
If she has been particularly nice to you and compliant with your request or demands, feel free to ask her if she has a boyfriend. She will feel like she's earned it and you can reward her by showing your interest in her.
Otherwise, just don't care about whether she has a boyfriend or not. If you play it right she will dump him for you, anyway
2.) Asking that is a show of interest. Do not do this if she has not earned it. The best timing to handle logistical problems like this if she is already admitting that she wants to hang out with you more. Once you're at that point, just discuss openly.
On October 17 2009 09:39 ProHellZerg wrote: 1. How do I know if she has a boyfriend without asking her about it? 2. How can I meet her and get together to know each other better if she lives off campus, like 45 minutes away from campus, if I don't have a car here? Would it be rude to ask her when she is in campus most of times?
Thanks.
Adrenal, in this kind of situation, it is sometimes okay to make a white lie to find out information.
During casual conversation, switch the topic that would make her talk about her boyfriend status.
EXAMPLE: Speaking of articles I read online, I just read about some woman who broke up with her abusive boyfriend of 10 years, that's just insane how people would stay that long. SHE RESPONDS. Yeah, have you had any crazy boyfriends?
You can definitely manage to get an answer you want out of her,
I don't have the time to answer question 2.
Work is over, and because it is a FRIDAY NIGHT, I am going out! As you all should too! Going out and meeting and socializing with women is important if you want to improve your game, so get to it!
I will be back tomorrow to answer more questions. Thanks for posting
On October 17 2009 10:03 HonestTea wrote: This isn't endorsement, nor is it condemnation,
but used to be you had to have some rep before you could make threads like these...
Maybe if his general attitude had been questionable? I think the newer you are, the more you absolutely cannot get away with any real form of trolling. As a veteran, people here generally understand your personality and have pre-conceived notions pertaining to your disposition towards certain touchy subjects. Makes "taking the joke" much, much more bearable. It's annoying to see somebody new come in and try to be grandiose because you can't tell.
On October 17 2009 08:01 MeriaDoKk wrote: How can I have a relation with a girl when I don't speak to anyone and no one speaks to me in my university because I hate people?
If you hate people, this is not the topic for you!
On October 17 2009 09:43 larjarse wrote: One night stands are another thing. Getting a girl to have sex with you the FIRST NIGHT she meets you can mean a couple things.
1. She fucks around. 2. She/you were drunk when this happened.
It is a better idea to go out, approach and talk to women confidently, learn how to maintain conversation with women you just met, get numbers or emails or other means of contact. Most importantly: ENJOY YOURSELF. If you are a confident guy who just enjoys himself meeting and talking to women, there WILL be women attracted to you.
And during this process, you may find yourself going further than you would ever imagine, maybe even a one night stand if that's what you are into!
Campbell surveyed more than 3,300 individuals, most of whom were between the ages of 17 and 40. Of the heterosexual respondents, more than half reported a one-night stand, about evenly split between men and women.
Well apparently not.
"It's that they wanted the man to understand that they weren't like this normally. That they were doing this for him on this night as a particular event."
I wasn't asking whether it's better to have a one night stand or whether that's the most satisfying relationship. But it definitely gets into another area of attraction, and I think it's a valid question. I consider my question still unanswered. If you don't know, just say you something to that regard.
Women predominantly reported "regret at being used," with additional comments including: "I felt cheap," "horrified afterward," and "I felt degraded. Made myself look cheap and easy. Total regret."
So I've been rejected twice in my life (once in 8th and once in 12th grade) and being rather a very sensitive guy, I've been scarred by those two experiences. I think the main problem with those two girls were that they were very close (best) friends with me and our relationships as friends progressed too far for there to have been any chance of me dating either of them.
Anyhow, I've been so affected by the last rejection that I rarely ever smile now and feel dead inside like I'm incapable of feeling any emotions (it's been nearly 2 weeks). Whenever I am around others, I am a cold, insensitive bastard and it drives me crazy. I KNOW I have a problem but it feels like I couldn't care less about it while at the same time I want to become better (I know it sounds stupid).
Anyways what I want to ask is, when is the right timing to let a girl know how I feel about her? I'm such a shy guy that I always take a friend relationship too far and miss the chance. Keep in mind I am still in high school.
On October 17 2009 11:37 Smokin_Squirrel wrote: Anyways what I want to ask is, when is the right timing to let a girl know how I feel about her? I'm such a shy guy that I always take a friend relationship too far and miss the chance. Keep in mind I am still in high school.
If you're romantically interested in a girl then you have to add a passionate element the relationship from the start. Flirt with her. Touch her. Hug her. Hold eye contact for as long as you are comfortable with. Fact of the matter is you don't really need to let her know your feelings for her. Just feel confident with yourself, express your sexuality and let nature run its course. By "express your sexuality" I don't mean you need to put your dick into her pussy. I just mean you need to bring passion into the relationship and make it a romantic adventure.
If she is going to reject you she will reject you now and you know you are going to be just friends. You're not going to get your hopes crushed. And if she goes along with it, you know you aren't going to be just friends. Just because of the kind of relationship you are building with her. So, you will both know your feelings for each other already and where the relationship is going.
Just try it, try touching a girl lightly on the arm in the middle of a conversation and you'll see it feels completely natural. It's just as natural, just a different course, heading to romance instead of to the friend zone. From there you can slowly turn up the heat to what you're both comfortable with. There no need to create this big "turnaround" point where you have to make a friend into a lover.
On October 17 2009 08:03 heyoka wrote: There is a girl I want to be with but I don't know anything about her religion (and respective piety), family and family history, socio-economic class, artistic and literary talents, sensitivity/romanticism/sentimentalism, patriotism/provincialism or rootedness in her native culture, cooking & cleaning (or other domestic abilities), mental and emotional stability, historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life, racial origins (not already clear), or feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc).
How can I go about finding these things to decide if she is the girl for me?
rofl, man that post is like 2 years old and still legendary. Does that guy still post here?
theres this chick i met like 3 weeks ago at college, but we haven't managed to eat lunch until today for only a short while. while im not positive im attracted to her, im leaning more towards that end than trying to become friends. 1. is it too pushy to text her every (other) day to ask what shes doing? and 2. should i meet her with friends of mine because she came to lunch with a friend today (she initiated lunch btw)?
met this girl about a bit less than 2 years ago, she's ~3 years older than me. On night of said meeting we were both pretty drunk and she sorta showed some interest (danced and talked a lot mostly) and we ended the night cockblocked by her friend who dragged her back home. since then we've mostly been talking on IMs and by text messaging (and I don't mean casual "hi nice weather" conversations, deep philosophy/psychology/sociology stuff, pretty intellectual), and when we tried to organize stuff one of us would dodge for some reason (half the time it sounded like lame excuses but somehow understandable).
anyways, the weird thing about our relationship is that it's very on/off. we can spend like 3-4 weeks not talking and one of us initiates contact back (usually she does) to talk about random stuff. she hinted a couple of times that she wanted to see me and dropped "love" here and there and that I should work on my self esteem more but every time I've tried being more proactive (while not being pushy, say once every week/10 days?) she just steps back and says she can't.
On October 17 2009 14:32 SwEEt[TearS] wrote: sup very awkward relationship here
go or no go?
From personal experience that was VERY similar.
No go.
The ups and downs emotionally were starting to really get on my back. When I finally gave her the "what the hell" question she ended up breaking things off because she was so insecure and distrusting of me or whatever.
Long story short, though, was that the "woo GF <3" ups that went to "...wow I'm single again.. I think" downs really destroyed my moods and I feel so so so so much better not dealing with it.
On October 17 2009 14:32 SwEEt[TearS] wrote: sup very awkward relationship here
met this girl about a bit less than 2 years ago, she's ~3 years older than me. On night of said meeting we were both pretty drunk and she sorta showed some interest (danced and talked a lot mostly) and we ended the night cockblocked by her friend who dragged her back home. since then we've mostly been talking on IMs and by text messaging (and I don't mean casual "hi nice weather" conversations, deep philosophy/psychology/sociology stuff, pretty intellectual), and when we tried to organize stuff one of us would dodge for some reason (half the time it sounded like lame excuses but somehow understandable).
anyways, the weird thing about our relationship is that it's very on/off. we can spend like 3-4 weeks not talking and one of us initiates contact back (usually she does) to talk about random stuff. she hinted a couple of times that she wanted to see me and dropped "love" here and there and that I should work on my self esteem more but every time I've tried being more proactive (while not being pushy, say once every week/10 days?) she just steps back and says she can't.
go or no go?
I am usually against awkward relationships but this doesn't sound like one (atleast compared to my experiences). Go for it!
It's funny how all these people trolling (almost everyone but the OP) are turning this into a joke topic, while the OP obviously has better knowledge of the matters than probably a solid percentage of TL(the young guns especially).
On October 17 2009 19:11 niteReloaded wrote: It's funny how all these people trolling (almost everyone but the OP) are turning this into a joke topic, while the OP obviously has better knowledge of the matters than probably a solid percentage of TL(the young guns especially).
This guy actually knows what he talks about.
Nothing like good intentions to bring out the worst at TL.
Kinda explains how there's less and less who actually still tries in the general forum.
On October 17 2009 14:32 SwEEt[TearS] wrote: sup very awkward relationship here
met this girl about a bit less than 2 years ago, she's ~3 years older than me. On night of said meeting we were both pretty drunk and she sorta showed some interest (danced and talked a lot mostly) and we ended the night cockblocked by her friend who dragged her back home. since then we've mostly been talking on IMs and by text messaging (and I don't mean casual "hi nice weather" conversations, deep philosophy/psychology/sociology stuff, pretty intellectual), and when we tried to organize stuff one of us would dodge for some reason (half the time it sounded like lame excuses but somehow understandable).
anyways, the weird thing about our relationship is that it's very on/off. we can spend like 3-4 weeks not talking and one of us initiates contact back (usually she does) to talk about random stuff. she hinted a couple of times that she wanted to see me and dropped "love" here and there and that I should work on my self esteem more but every time I've tried being more proactive (while not being pushy, say once every week/10 days?) she just steps back and says she can't.
go or no go?
couple of things i could advice u on, your decision whether u take it or not.
1- go. if you're asking about this girl, it obviously means that you are interested in her. that alone is enough for you to have a reason to at least try to hang out with her.
2- from what you said, it sounds like your conversations with her, those of phylo/psych/sociology seem boring (im really sorry, please dont be offended), or at least not "exciting". it might be her major, or she might be passionate about it, watever, but its never gonna make her say to her girlfriends, "this one guy is really funny and i can talk with him for hours about the most random stuff" u get it? im not saying u cant actually have a real conversation with a woman, but if u do it at this stage (where u are just friends), then she'll brand you as exactly that, just friends.
3- seems like this girl is already aware that ur into her and perhaps the problem is that she feels no challenge with u. if u think that might be the case, let it cool off a bit, ignore her txt msgs or be like "hey im in class call u later" and dont call, just minor stuff like that, nothing too douche. then suddenly call her 2 days later or txt her "i gotta talk to you about something really important" just to catch her off guard
4- if thats not the case, then make sure the next time u talk to her its completely casual, fun, and dorky. "hey i've been meaning to ask u something really important but its kinda personal" "umm okay..? what is it?" "are u the kind of person that is good at taking compliments?" "what?? i guess so..?" "really? wow me too, you first!" just keep it casual and fun. if u need more lines or conversations like this, msg me
5- if i interpreted your problem correctly, the real question you have is how to convince her into hanging out with u alone. i think i have quite the routine to help u there, but msg me
sorry if i kept it too reserved, i dont exactly wanna share it here. gl
On October 17 2009 14:04 ricebowl wrote: theres this chick i met like 3 weeks ago at college, but we haven't managed to eat lunch until today for only a short while. while im not positive im attracted to her, im leaning more towards that end than trying to become friends. 1. is it too pushy to text her every (other) day to ask what shes doing? and 2. should i meet her with friends of mine because she came to lunch with a friend today (she initiated lunch btw)?
And i don't know if she has a boyfriend or not
1) She obviously enjoys your company so don't ruin her attraction by sending off signals that you're of low social value and starved for attention from women. The only attraction that is legitimate in the eyes of a woman is attraction she thinks is of her own engineering. Is she trying hard to make you like her? Then show your interest in her. But otherwise wait for her to make the first move by showing you that she is nicer to you than she is normally. Once she does that, she will think that she has made you pushy deliberately and she will delight in it rather than being turned off. However showing "unearned" attraction is one of the biggest pitfalls in the game. And remember that as soon as she stops replying with five-page essays to your simple questions and starts seeming bored by it, then stop texting.
2) I'm not sure what you mean by "should." You don't have to meet her with your friends if you don't want to. If you meet her with your friends the situation is less intimate and that might make you both more comfortable. Ultimately the goal is to be alone with her, but if you feel like you need more comfort between the two of you before you can achieve that, feel free to hang out with her in a less intimate setting. Don't focus on her if you're in a group and make sure everyone is having a good time (including yourself).
On October 17 2009 11:37 Smokin_Squirrel wrote: So I've been rejected twice in my life
Anyways what I want to ask is, when is the right timing to let a girl know how I feel about her?.
Smokin_Squirrel:
How many times have you been rejected you say? Twice? How many woman are out there? Don't just include the attractive ones.
Being happy with yourself is all about having a positive attitude and being condifent about things even if it feels unreasonable at first. Instead of taking rejection as a failure, you can say to yourself "At least I tried.. Well looks like I'm gonna have to start something up with another lucky lady because there are a million out there and I've got nothing to lose!"
The fear of rejection has gotten to you, but you must understand that it is just irrational emotion holding you back. There are only two things you can control in life: What you think and what you DO. Thats it! If you think positive, you will act positive (even if at first you are really just pretending). Eventually you will get used to this positive mindset and your newfound confidence and you will feel like you can crush any task put in front of you. Asking a girl out? Ha, no problem.
Men are scared of rejection becase they are afraid of looking like they are not worth dating. They are afraid of what she may think. They are afraid of what she might say to others. They are afraid of how they will think of themselves after rejection. They are afraid other people may think less of them after rejection.
When you approach women in the future you will be anxious, and that is perfectly normal. Just realize that there is only so much you can control in a situation: what you think and how you act. The more women you talk to, the less this anxiety will be, and the more confident you will feel. Women can tell a confident guy apart from a nervous dweeb, and they are attracted to your confidence. Don't forget to show the ladies your good humor and great smile.
Good practice for approaching woman is just to walk around a crowded area and look every female in the eyes as she passes by you. Don't give a creepy stare, but it's completely fine to look at women in the eyes, holding eye contact just a little longer than she does. Then you may want to try the actual approach out. You have nothing to lose.
QUESTION 2. When should you let her know how you feel about her?
Usually your actions will speak. If you have been talking to this girl and everything has been going alright; you are testing out this new confidence thing and trying to look at the bright side and put a smile on your face, you may notice she is interested and/or attracted to you. I already posted several signs of attraction eariler in this thread, but: does she smile alot when you two are having conversation? Does she touch you (at all?) when you two talk? Does she hug you when she sees you? Does she lean forward in your direction when she talks to you? These are all signs she is attracted to you, and she didn't even say a word.
Since women are naturally better at reading body language than men are, they will look for signs that you are attracted. Zack said in livestream that "men tend to be too generious with their signs of interest." and this is absolutely true. Bombarding her with compliments and saying "I like you" may actually be putting yourself further and further below her. Women like to be chased, and if you can hold off on these things until you really notice she is attracted to you, it is better to do so. I apologize for the crude reference
It's like a game with a dog: If the dog behaves the way you want, you reward it.
If a woman is showing you signs of interest, you reward her with more eye contact, smiles, lean in during the conversation to show you are listening, maybe throw her a compliment. When things are going this way, it is a good time to ask for that number. And before you know it, SHE will let you know how she feels about you before you SAY much about how you feel about her.
I would say if you are texting a girl "what are you doing" every day or every other day, its like saying "I want to talk to you but i am boring and I have nothing to talk about."
If you are going to text her at all, do it out of the blue, and make it something fun and spontanious and something she can talk about without just stating what she is doing. Don't let the text be always for nothing either, it is a prime opportunity to make plans with her.
That can be a go or a no go. Don't get too hung up on it, she obviously has a life beyond you (as you do her).
Next time you talk to her, if you are still interested, just be as straightforward as possible. Call her up on the phone, no IM, no texty wexty, no flirty qwerty. Talk for a short (minute-2 mins) while, and then just ask her: Do you want to hang out? have a day ready to go. Whatever her answer is, end the convo shortly after that question is asked.
If she said yes, on the day you two are supposed to meet, call her again and ask her whats happening, ask her if the plans are on.
If she makes an excuse, I wouldn't get too hung up on it. Don't waste your time playing the chasing game like that, you are young and have a life to experience! If she says no, feel good that you know you have a million other opportunities waiting to take advantage of, and this was just a small bump in the road.
On October 17 2009 07:19 Oedi wrote: Ok, i'll shoot, how do you convince a girl that your the bad boy the she always wanted to change?
Oedi, I don't suggest that you try to make yourself to look like the badboy, but IF you want to chose that path:
try getting a heart tattoo on your shoulder, and "accidently" expose it while taking off your leather jacket. if she doesn't say anything, say "you didn't see that, did you?"
BAM, instant attraction.
now for more serious questions
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Hey larjarse, theres this really hot girl that I like (Like beauty pageant hot), however she has a boyfriend and he's pretty big so I donno if I could take him on. Also I think he's pretty good at starcraft as well, so humiliating him in that might not be possible. What can I do to make this girl realise that she needs to dump that guy and be with me?
On October 18 2009 02:35 Fen wrote: Hey larjarse, theres this really hot girl that I like (Like beauty pageant hot), however she has a boyfriend and he's pretty big so I donno if I could take him on. Also I think he's pretty good at starcraft as well, so humiliating him in that might not be possible. What can I do to make this girl realise that she needs to dump that guy and be with me?
On October 18 2009 02:35 Fen wrote: Hey larjarse, theres this really hot girl that I like (Like beauty pageant hot), however she has a boyfriend and he's pretty big so I donno if I could take him on. Also I think he's pretty good at starcraft as well, so humiliating him in that might not be possible. What can I do to make this girl realise that she needs to dump that guy and be with me?
Fen:
You cannot make a girl be attracted to you. All you can do is show that you are a confident guy who is fun to be around, and maybe she will show that she is interested. If the girl has boyfriend, I wouldn't waste my time trying to break them up, that's just not right. If you do see this girl often and you are attracted to her, and you think her man is a douchebag, SHE is the one who needs to realize that she is making a mistake by not dating you instead. By happy and confident, and have fun. This will attract women. In the meantime, don't even waste your time with the girl who has a boyfriend.
i can't believe he's standing firm in the face of lots of people trying to troll him, he needs to be shown some love. good job and advice thus far (mostly anyway... the tattoo / jacket thing was T_T). =D
micronesia, i know you are here because you really want to ask a question. It is okay to be shy at first, but this topic is about asking for advice to overcome such shyness. If you have any legit question at all about how to jump start your dating experience, just fire away.
On October 18 2009 02:57 larjarse wrote: micronesia, i know you are here because you really want to ask a question. It is okay to be shy at first, but this topic is about asking for advice to overcome such shyness. If you have any legit question at all about how to jump start your dating experience, just fire away.
Pretty much all i have seen of women is prostitutes and strippers. And now I am dating a very smart, gorgeous, and nice girl. I had been duche, which is why i attracted messed up women like my stripper ex i used to live with. This new girl likes me to be in charge, but I am sure she does not want me to be a duche. I think I am holding back too much, trying to be super nice to her... She is also conservative christian, so talking about my previous experiences would really hurt my prospects, i believe. I really like her, i finally found a girl who could, in the future, make an excellent wife. How should I handle my relationship with her?
One of the best things you can possibly do when you are in a situation with a girl that you like very much and that seems to be into you is to do the unexpected with full force. What this means is do something interesting, bold or just plain cool and do it with all of your energy with no regrets. If you can pull this off more than once in front of the girl on your mind all of the time she will fall for you. then play it off like it was nothing and do something in contrast such as be extremely funny or really smart. If you show different sides of yourself it will really help you out with women, because after all who wants to date or be with a translucent guy. humor is very very important too.
Also its always a good idea to make other guys look bad when you are around girls. This is a dick move but its 100% true. She will trust and be on the side of the biggest asshole without a doubt unless she is a fuckin arts major or something.
On October 18 2009 05:57 Hypnosis wrote: One of the best things you can possibly do when you are in a situation with a girl that you like very much and that seems to be into you is to do the unexpected with full force. What this means is do something interesting, bold or just plain cool and do it with all of your energy with no regrets. If you can pull this off more than once in front of the girl on your mind all of the time she will fall for you. then play it off like it was nothing and do something in contrast such as be extremely funny or really smart. If you show different sides of yourself it will really help you out with women, because after all who wants to date or be with a translucent guy. humor is very very important too.
Also its always a good idea to make other guys look bad when you are around girls. This is a dick move but its 100% true. She will trust and be on the side of the biggest asshole without a doubt unless she is a fuckin arts major or something.
I think i know what you mean, i got a girl bedded after the second night using exactly this method. the difference was, this girl did like 12 guys in one month, and my current prospect is far from it. i think i will try to overwhelm her with confidence...
what do you think about girls that don't seem to really "live in the moment" and enjoy themselves? ya kno sometimes i be like messing with people, and the chick with me just sits and giggles. Is it just her issue?
i am actually wondering about a romantic surprise for her, i already left flowers at her doorstep, sent her an ascii flower, asked her friend about what kind of chocolate she likes, and brought it to her, any suggestions?
On October 17 2009 10:03 HonestTea wrote: This isn't endorsement, nor is it condemnation,
but used to be you had to have some rep before you could make threads like these...
Well it's got my endorsement.
The advice is good. If threads from no-names were closed before their merit could be determined (because, by their nature, they have no significant content in the OP) then we'd miss out.
What's sad to see is the number of detractors and trolls that swarm like sharks on chum before the guy is given a chance, and then still even after he's done well. It's not enough to just be a contributor anymore; you've gotta be a contributor who can also put up with a lot of shit.
On October 18 2009 02:29 larjarse wrote: Is that ASCII of someone pulling up their sleeve?
I think it's obviously a *facepalm*
I'm surprised this thread is still going on.
I'm pretty surprised that you would make a negative comment about it (assuming you are condemning the existence of the thread in the first place).
Like others have said, the OP has put good effort into generating decent responses. They should obviously not be considered perfect guidance, especially due to the variability of individual nature and social circumstances, but this is actually a pretty good thread.
This reminds me of a thread a few years back which was an active ban trap, as it offers the temptation to criticize without actually judging content, which is why we see experienced posters, and even one or two good posters, haranguing the OP.
On October 17 2009 10:03 HonestTea wrote: This isn't endorsement, nor is it condemnation,
but used to be you had to have some rep before you could make threads like these...
Well it's got my endorsement.
The advice is good. If threads from no-names were closed before their merit could be determined (because, by their nature, they have no significant content in the OP) then we'd miss out.
What's sad to see is the number of detractors and trolls that swarm like sharks on chum before the guy is given a chance, and then still even after he's done well. It's not enough to just be a contributor anymore; you've gotta be a contributor who can also put up with a lot of shit.
While I agree with you about threads in general, HonestTea does have a point. This is an 'ask me for advice' thread which is going to be scrutinized if it isn't by an established veteran (and might be scrutinized anyway).
Still, others including myself should be mature and let him go about it if the mods aren't gonna stop it, and judge him according to his merits.
On October 18 2009 02:29 larjarse wrote: Is that ASCII of someone pulling up their sleeve?
I think it's obviously a *facepalm*
I'm surprised this thread is still going on.
I'm pretty surprised that you would make a negative comment about it (assuming you are condemning the existence of the thread in the first place).
Like others have said, the OP has put good effort into generating decent responses. They should obviously not be considered perfect guidance, especially due to the variability of individual nature and social circumstances, but this is actually a pretty good thread.
This reminds me of a thread a few years back which was an active ban trap, as it offers the temptation to criticize without actually judging content, which is why we see experienced posters, and even one or two good posters, haranguing the OP.
I wasn't trying to be negative towards the original poster. I just find it hard to believe that a serious "get girl advice from my thread" would be successful, and especially one by an unknown poster.
On October 18 2009 05:57 Hypnosis wrote: One of the best things you can possibly do when you are in a situation with a girl that you like very much and that seems to be into you is to do the unexpected with full force. What this means is do something interesting, bold or just plain cool and do it with all of your energy with no regrets. If you can pull this off more than once in front of the girl on your mind all of the time she will fall for you. then play it off like it was nothing and do something in contrast such as be extremely funny or really smart. If you show different sides of yourself it will really help you out with women, because after all who wants to date or be with a translucent guy. humor is very very important too.
Also its always a good idea to make other guys look bad when you are around girls. This is a dick move but its 100% true. She will trust and be on the side of the biggest asshole without a doubt unless she is a fuckin arts major or something.
I think i know what you mean, i got a girl bedded after the second night using exactly this method. the difference was, this girl did like 12 guys in one month, and my current prospect is far from it. i think i will try to overwhelm her with confidence...
On October 18 2009 05:57 Hypnosis wrote: One of the best things you can possibly do when you are in a situation with a girl that you like very much and that seems to be into you is to do the unexpected with full force. What this means is do something interesting, bold or just plain cool and do it with all of your energy with no regrets. If you can pull this off more than once in front of the girl on your mind all of the time she will fall for you. then play it off like it was nothing and do something in contrast such as be extremely funny or really smart. If you show different sides of yourself it will really help you out with women, because after all who wants to date or be with a translucent guy. humor is very very important too.
Also its always a good idea to make other guys look bad when you are around girls. This is a dick move but its 100% true. She will trust and be on the side of the biggest asshole without a doubt unless she is a fuckin arts major or something.
I think i know what you mean, i got a girl bedded after the second night using exactly this method. the difference was, this girl did like 12 guys in one month, and my current prospect is far from it. i think i will try to overwhelm her with confidence...
Im curious, what did that entail lol?
Like this: What kind of underwear are you wearing? She goes; ahhh uhhh its is blue with a red stop sign on in me goes: i just want to learn how to please you. later on I think you are hot she goes ahh uhhh i think you are kind of sweet me sweet? how about sexy?? she smiles bluishing, that too... see?
On October 18 2009 05:57 Hypnosis wrote: One of the best things you can possibly do when you are in a situation with a girl that you like very much and that seems to be into you is to do the unexpected with full force. What this means is do something interesting, bold or just plain cool and do it with all of your energy with no regrets. If you can pull this off more than once in front of the girl on your mind all of the time she will fall for you. then play it off like it was nothing and do something in contrast such as be extremely funny or really smart. If you show different sides of yourself it will really help you out with women, because after all who wants to date or be with a translucent guy. humor is very very important too.
Also its always a good idea to make other guys look bad when you are around girls. This is a dick move but its 100% true. She will trust and be on the side of the biggest asshole without a doubt unless she is a fuckin arts major or something.
I think i know what you mean, i got a girl bedded after the second night using exactly this method. the difference was, this girl did like 12 guys in one month, and my current prospect is far from it. i think i will try to overwhelm her with confidence...
Im curious, what did that entail lol?
Like this: What kind of underwear are you wearing? She goes; ahhh uhhh its is blue with a red stop sign on in me goes: i just want to learn how to please you. later on I think you are hot she goes ahh uhhh i think you are kind of sweet me sweet? how about sexy?? she smiles bluishing, that too... see?
Im curious, what did that entail lol?[/QUOTE] Like this: What kind of underwear are you wearing? She goes; ahhh uhhh its is blue with a red stop sign on in me goes: i just want to learn how to please you. later on I think you are hot she goes ahh uhhh i think you are kind of sweet me sweet? how about sexy?? she smiles bluishing, that too... see? [/QUOTE]
Wittiest rejection ever [/QUOTE] Point is, it was fake resistance
Hey - I'm a college student. I'm meeting a lot of people, and I have plenty of self confidence. While I have no trouble getting to know new people (really, no trouble at all. Which puts me in an "ok" category to start with) I have trouble with what to do after that. If a short hookup happens after I learn a name, it's either female initiated, or nearly forced by situation. And rarely does anything go farther than names, a dance or two, and "see you later tonight" even though I know she's interested.
Basically, suggestions on orchestrating conversation on my end? I know I can generate attraction, it's just about channeling what I happen to create.
On October 18 2009 07:32 YPang wrote: what do you think about girls that don't seem to really "live in the moment" and enjoy themselves? ya kno sometimes i be like messing with people, and the chick with me just sits and giggles. Is it just her issue?
If you are the spontanious and fun type and the girl giggles and chuckles (non-fake laughs), than she is into it. She may like the way you are confident enough to let shit happen, and to make shit happen. If she doesn't catch on to your "living in the moment" style, than that's her deal.
On October 18 2009 16:42 phyre112 wrote: Hey - I'm a college student. I'm meeting a lot of people, and I have plenty of self confidence. While I have no trouble getting to know new people (really, no trouble at all. Which puts me in an "ok" category to start with) I have trouble with what to do after that. If a short hookup happens after I learn a name, it's either female initiated, or nearly forced by situation. And rarely does anything go farther than names, a dance or two, and "see you later tonight" even though I know she's interested.
Basically, suggestions on orchestrating conversation on my end? I know I can generate attraction, it's just about channeling what I happen to create.
Thanks.
phyre112:
Sometimes I like to walk up to an attractive girl and say something outrageous like "What are you?" or "Why are you here?" just to slap the "hot girl ego" right off her mind, so I can then have real conversation with her.
Don't talk about school, or work, or stress related things. Ask what she does for fun. Tell her what you do for fun. Hell, you can make something up: "Did you see that creepy guy in there wearing makeup?"
HOW you say things can be more important than WHAT you say. Talk to a girl for a little, if you can tell she is digging you then get her number and move on. If you see her later on, talk to her more and maybe you can make something happen for the night. If not, who cares? You have her number and you can call her some other day. Just dont make it seem like you are RELYING on one particular female.
On October 18 2009 03:13 iloveambiguity wrote: Pretty much all i have seen of women is prostitutes and strippers. And now I am dating a very smart, gorgeous, and nice girl. I had been duche, which is why i attracted messed up women like my stripper ex i used to live with. This new girl likes me to be in charge, but I am sure she does not want me to be a duche. I think I am holding back too much, trying to be super nice to her... She is also conservative christian, so talking about my previous experiences would really hurt my prospects, i believe. I really like her, i finally found a girl who could, in the future, make an excellent wife. How should I handle my relationship with her?
iloveambiguity:
I am glad you stopped being a douchebag, and also that you have found someone you see as a potential wife. May I ask how old you are? Are you still in college?
Many things can happen, and I always tell my friends to be careful when they start throwing around the L word and especially when they say something about marriage. A couple of my friends found themselves heartbroken, but reborn with a new aspect on women.
You can definitely be in charge without being a douche. You can be in charge of your self. (your emotions) You can show you are not afraid to make a decision. You may want to talk about your past with her, just to get it off your chest. She may even find trust in you because of this, and see that you are actually trying to have a relationship with her.
Don't be possessive. Don't call or text her all the time, just to ask what or how she is doing. Give space between the two of you, so when you are together and enjoying yourselves, you dont take the time you have together for granted.
DONT try to be super nice to her all the time. Yes, be polite and kind, but don't come off as an ass kisser.
On October 18 2009 07:49 iloveambiguity wrote: i am actually wondering about a romantic surprise for her, i already left flowers at her doorstep, sent her an ascii flower, asked her friend about what kind of chocolate she likes, and brought it to her, any suggestions?
iloveambiguity:
This seems like you are doing too much. You have put yourself in a situation where she knows you want to date her, and she knows she can just drop you whenever she pleases. You are leaning towards the provider (see my previous post).
I suggest you let her know, indirectly, that you have a life, that you have priorities, and that you would like her to be a part of your life (but you will not wait in the freezing, pouring rain out of her window just because she didn't answer a text)
I would expect any member, veteran or noob, to be criticized just as much as I have been. Has anyone around here made a name for themself by sharing their knowledge and advice about dating? Absolutely not. If I had 9673 posts *cough*, some would still ask where the hell did this guy come from?
I noticed that I would see the same people every day in livestream chat (At work, mon-fri, I'm usually on livestream channels to pass time, and I can get away with it). Out of boredom I started asking questions about people's social life and how they fair with the ladies. Alot of them were honest and stated they didn't date much.
I was frustrated with the idea that smart, and seemingly "cool" guys have trouble figuring out women and dating. Why does it seem that attractive women go for idiots and douchebags? This is because intelligent men look at dating and getting with women like a problem to be solved, with an endless amout of bad outcomes, and many solid, set in stone solutions. It just isn't like that. To have success with women, you must understand how they think and what catches their attention, You should know that understanding and responding to body language is extremely crutial. Most of communication is nonverbal, as you probably already know. You can't just bust out a pickupline and expect every female in the room to worship your allmightyness.
On October 19 2009 03:14 larjarse wrote: micronesia:
I would expect any member, veteran or noob, to be criticized just as much as I have been. Has anyone around here made a name for themself by sharing their knowledge and advice about dating? Absolutely not. If I had 9673 posts *cough*, some would still ask where the hell did this guy come from?
I noticed that I would see the same people every day in livestream chat (At work, mon-fri, I'm usually on livestream channels to pass time, and I can get away with it). Out of boredom I started asking questions about people's social life and how they fair with the ladies. Alot of them were honest and stated they didn't date much.
I was frustrated with the idea that smart, and seemingly "cool" guys have trouble figuring out women and dating. Why does it seem that attractive women go for idiots and douchebags? This is because intelligent men look at dating and getting with women like a problem to be solved, with an endless amout of bad outcomes, and many solid, set in stone solutions. It just isn't like that. To have success with women, you must understand how they think and what catches their attention, You should know that understanding and responding to body language is extremely crutial. Most of communication is nonverbal, as you probably already know. You can't just bust out a pickupline and expect every female in the room to worship your allmightyness.
No, people would not ask where the hell I came from. But, as I said earlier:
On October 18 2009 08:25 micronesia wrote: This is an 'ask me for advice' thread which is going to be scrutinized if it isn't by an established veteran (and might be scrutinized anyway).
So, yes even my thread could be scrutinized in the same ways (in my specific case it probably would since I have no dating-related credentials that the community is aware of [same as you when you started?]).
I disagree that any member, veteran or noob, to<would> be criticized just as much as I have been. Kennigit made a thread recently related to online dating. People did not doubt (for the most part) that he knew what the heck he was talking about when it came to girls. He provided a lot of content from the get-go which made it easier for us to believe him, in addition to his reputation on TL. Were there some nay-sayers and the like? Yeah, as I recall they were. But they were mostly due to people misunderstanding what he meant (such as thinking he was going to be talking about conducting dates themselves online)... not due to people disagreeing with his whole point as a whole.
I have no problem with you wanting to help people in the ways you are attempting to do so.
so i'm a computer science major and there are zero girls in all of my classes. i took spanish hoping that class would at least have some women, but no luck. so i'm in a situation where to talk to any girls i have to randomly approach them on campus. how do you initiate a conversation like that? will girls think it is weird to be approached randomly by some guy they don't know?
Which inanimate object should I practice with to become a better kisser? Right now I'm trying my pillow, but it's too soft for my lips to get good leverage.
You DONT approach girls, you just become an approachable person and wait for them to approach you. Think about it, you could approach a girl and start talking to her but that means that you like her more than she likes you initially and you will have to make all the moves/continue the game first. If you just focus on becoming an interesting person people will approach you. Do not be needy and look for attention, as soon as you stop giving a fuck girls will flock to you as long as you are not hideous or something.
Be polite to girls but also mix it up and fuck around. girls like a sense of humor and being playful in a slightly mean way is good because they know you are joking and actually like them.
Just have a good time wherever you are and people will see that and approach you more often. seeking a relationship is stupid, just let it happen; that way if you do get into one it will mean more because it was natural and not forced by you in any way.
At parties approaching girls is a different story. People go to parties to meet people so go ahead and talk to anyone and everyone, just dont give too much of yourself away to a girl you like at first, meet her then get out of there to see if she will pursue you. If she does then you are on a possible road towards success, if not just talk to a different girl and improve your life as usual.
At school and/or public places its strange to just walk up to random people and try to start conversation. Its obvious that guys are instantly attracted to women sexually. If you try to meet someone at random at school or something on campus/not in their class etc its fairly obvious you just saw the girls ass or something and wanna try to hit that... Girls can get attention from anyone and to them you fall into the chaser/stalker category that they avoid. Join a club or a group to meet people or just go to parties thats the easiest way.
How do I use kino (Is that what it's called?) effectively. In the rare instances I can get the laughing, smiling, giggling, talking going on, etc. I'm never too sure how to transition to the touching.
I'm not real touchy-feely so I guess it's always been a little uncomfortable treading those waters (though I do like doing it a lot).
On October 19 2009 07:27 Assymptotic wrote: How do I use kino (Is that what it's called?) effectively. In the rare instances I can get the laughing, smiling, giggling, talking going on, etc. I'm never too sure how to transition to the touching.
I'm not real touchy-feely so I guess it's always been a little uncomfortable treading those waters (though I do like doing it a lot).
Really, this is my question in a more direct form.
I can get a girl having a good time. That's easy, and only gets easier with practice. How do I move past that, besides waiting for her to initiate?
On October 17 2009 19:11 niteReloaded wrote: It's funny how all these people trolling (almost everyone but the OP) are turning this into a joke topic, while the OP obviously has better knowledge of the matters than probably a solid percentage of TL(the young guns especially).
This guy actually knows what he talks about.
Nothing like good intentions to bring out the worst at TL.
Kinda explains how there's less and less who actually still tries in the general forum.
lets say you've done things right and are 'in' with a girl, but then the evil bitch cockblocking friend comes into the picture and shes on a mission to 'save' her friend from you
u have no solid wingmen to back u up and distract the cockblocker
what the hell is the best thing to say/do to the cockblocker to salvage the situation?
On October 19 2009 07:03 Hypnosis wrote: You DONT approach girls, you just become an approachable person and wait for them to approach you. Think about it, you could approach a girl and start talking to her but that means that you like her more than she likes you initially and you will have to make all the moves/continue the game first. If you just focus on becoming an interesting person people will approach you. Do not be needy and look for attention, as soon as you stop giving a fuck girls will flock to you as long as you are not hideous or something.
If you had a "dont give a fcuk" attitude, then it won't matter if you approach or not?
On October 19 2009 07:03 Hypnosis wrote: You DONT approach girls, you just become an approachable person and wait for them to approach you. Think about it, you could approach a girl and start talking to her but that means that you like her more than she likes you initially and you will have to make all the moves/continue the game first. If you just focus on becoming an interesting person people will approach you. Do not be needy and look for attention, as soon as you stop giving a fuck girls will flock to you as long as you are not hideous or something.
If you had a "dont give a fcuk" attitude, then it won't matter if you approach or not?
QFT, it really doesn't matter if you approach or they approach you...it really depends on the functionality of the social situation you're in and what kind of read you have on the girl on if you should just go for her or wait her out. but thats all just minor bullshit anyways, in the end it depends on your character alone and how well you can present yourself as an all around attractive male...not on some bs like who established contact first
then again, what do i know, 95% of the girls i know/talk to/try to hit on are korean girls or strippers, and for some reason the strippers end up either smacking me in the face, trying to throw a bottle at me, or crying every time
On October 19 2009 07:03 Hypnosis wrote: You DONT approach girls, you just become an approachable person and wait for them to approach you. Think about it, you could approach a girl and start talking to her but that means that you like her more than she likes you initially and you will have to make all the moves/continue the game first. If you just focus on becoming an interesting person people will approach you. Do not be needy and look for attention, as soon as you stop giving a fuck girls will flock to you as long as you are not hideous or something.
If you had a "dont give a fcuk" attitude, then it won't matter if you approach or not?
QFT, it really doesn't matter if you approach or they approach you...it really depends on the functionality of the social situation you're in and what kind of read you have on the girl on if you should just go for her or wait her out. but thats all just minor bullshit anyways, in the end it depends on your character alone and how well you can present yourself as an all around attractive male...not on some bs like who established contact first
then again, what do i know, 95% of the girls i know/talk to/try to hit on are korean girls or strippers, and for some reason the strippers end up either smacking me in the face, trying to throw a bottle at me, or crying every time
Thats pretty much it, all of these fall in line if you have good character, Im just trying to point some out and say that it should all come naturally and you cant really change yourself all of the time.
On October 19 2009 07:03 Hypnosis wrote: You DONT approach girls, you just become an approachable person and wait for them to approach you. Think about it, you could approach a girl and start talking to her but that means that you like her more than she likes you initially and you will have to make all the moves/continue the game first. If you just focus on becoming an interesting person people will approach you. Do not be needy and look for attention, as soon as you stop giving a fuck girls will flock to you as long as you are not hideous or something.
If you had a "dont give a fcuk" attitude, then it won't matter if you approach or not?
QFT, it really doesn't matter if you approach or they approach you...it really depends on the functionality of the social situation you're in and what kind of read you have on the girl on if you should just go for her or wait her out. but thats all just minor bullshit anyways, in the end it depends on your character alone and how well you can present yourself as an all around attractive male...not on some bs like who established contact first
then again, what do i know, 95% of the girls i know/talk to/try to hit on are korean girls or strippers, and for some reason the strippers end up either smacking me in the face, trying to throw a bottle at me, or crying every time
Thats pretty much it, all of these fall in line if you have good character, Im just trying to point some out and say that it should all come naturally and you cant really change yourself all of the time.
yeah
and well the stuff larrjarse says is all very true and his advice is sound, it's just not applicable for anyone really
in the end the only advice is for people to upgrade themselves socially through trial and error with girls and to gain confidence somehow,
you can't just say 'do x in situation y and it will work out better' or 'maybe you should ignore her a bit' or 'maybe u should write her a love letter' blah blah
the fact is not all guys can be social monsters with the confidence that girls dig...some have it naturally, some gain it through lots of trial/error experience or through some other sorts of achievements that bolster their confidence and they eventually get better reactions from girls and naturally realize what they need to improve.
basically if your having relationship troubles or having trouble picking up women its because you're not balling hard and feeling good about yourself in all the OTHER aspects of your life that aren't women, because women can feel a man's confidence level basically instantly and if they dont like what they feel you're fucked. there is no such thing as confidence without capability that can back it up, just saying 'yeah i'm a confident dude!' is a facade.
On October 19 2009 07:03 Hypnosis wrote: You DONT approach girls, you just become an approachable person and wait for them to approach you. Think about it, you could approach a girl and start talking to her but that means that you like her more than she likes you initially and you will have to make all the moves/continue the game first. If you just focus on becoming an interesting person people will approach you. Do not be needy and look for attention, as soon as you stop giving a fuck girls will flock to you as long as you are not hideous or something.
If you had a "dont give a fcuk" attitude, then it won't matter if you approach or not?
then again, what do i know, 95% of the girls i know/talk to/try to hit on are korean girls or strippers, and for some reason the strippers end up either smacking me in the face, trying to throw a bottle at me, or crying every time
On October 19 2009 08:03 Rekrul wrote: Aight and LarJarse seriously:
lets say you've done things right and are 'in' with a girl, but then the evil bitch cockblocking friend comes into the picture and shes on a mission to 'save' her friend from you
u have no solid wingmen to back u up and distract the cockblocker
what the hell is the best thing to say/do to the cockblocker to salvage the situation?
Rekrul:
Include the cockblocker in the conversation. Make her feel like she (or he) isn't left out of the conversation. The girl you are interested in may appreciate this and be more attracted to you. If cockblocker comes up to girl and says "um we are leaving blahh", instantly put her in the conversation. Ask her opinion on what you were talking about.
I can get a girl having a good time. That's easy, and only gets easier with practice. How do I move past that, besides waiting for her to initiate?
phyre112:
If you know how to set a good mood and have a good flow of conversation, then you need to start putting yourself into more intimate settings with women. If you are in a car with a woman, that is getting pretty close without intentionally putting yourself near her. Invite her over to your place and just turn on the TV and sit on the couch or something. Don't actually watch the TV much, of course. Or you can put on a movie, this is a great time to get close.
I am going to edit the first post and ask people to be more specific. so the advice isn't so general.
On October 19 2009 06:40 Corvi wrote: how do you approach girls in very loud ambiences, like in a club on the dancefloor or at the bar?
Corvi:
Just remember, this topic is called LarJarsE's (not Hypnosis's) tipline..
At a club, dancing is always a great way to socialize with women you don't know, but you may want to practice a little. If you were dancing with a girl and then you see her later, you can say something like "Nice moves out there, but I think I'm a better dancer (then smile)" or "It's so hot out there, I was thinking about just getting naked(small chuckle)"
To be honest with you, I don't go to bars that don't have live music or dance music, except for a couple of times. I don't think they are an ideal place to meet someone.
On October 19 2009 07:27 Assymptotic wrote: How do I use kino (Is that what it's called?) effectively. In the rare instances I can get the laughing, smiling, giggling, talking going on, etc. I'm never too sure how to transition to the touching.
I'm not real touchy-feely so I guess it's always been a little uncomfortable treading those waters (though I do like doing it a lot).
Assymptotic:
I'm not really sure what your first sentance is about.
If you can get a girl laughing, and showing signs of interest, then you may want to move forward a little in the heat of the moment while laughing with her
ok real question , me and girl have been dating for like 2 weeks, ex bf comes in cock blocks me and she gets back together with him, how to reverse situation?
On October 19 2009 07:27 Assymptotic wrote: How do I use kino (Is that what it's called?) effectively. In the rare instances I can get the laughing, smiling, giggling, talking going on, etc. I'm never too sure how to transition to the touching.
I'm not real touchy-feely so I guess it's always been a little uncomfortable treading those waters (though I do like doing it a lot).
Assymptotic:
I'm not really sure what your first sentance is about.
If you can get a girl laughing, and showing signs of interest, then you may want to move forward a little in the heat of the moment while laughing with her
PUAs say if a girl touches you while laughing/in a good mood/etc then its a sure sign she likes you.
On October 19 2009 10:18 arb wrote: ok real question , me and girl have been dating for like 2 weeks, ex bf comes in cock blocks me and she gets back together with him, how to reverse situation?
I hope you got 2 weeks of good lay.
Don't bother reversing the situation. F em, go find someone else.
On October 19 2009 10:18 arb wrote: ok real question , me and girl have been dating for like 2 weeks, ex bf comes in cock blocks me and she gets back together with him, how to reverse situation?
On October 19 2009 10:18 arb wrote: ok real question , me and girl have been dating for like 2 weeks, ex bf comes in cock blocks me and she gets back together with him, how to reverse situation?
This is kind of hard to word but I will try my best.
Ok I find it not too difficult to chat up girls in a place that encourages that behaviour (ex. a club). It's fine to have that longer-than-usual eye contact and be closer etc..
However, meeting girls at clubs isn't really the best (I don't think I need to explain there). There are way better quality girls in my lectures, around campus, etc.. The thing is I find it harder to chat up girls in a sexual way in these places. I find the longer-than-usual eye contact kind of not appropriate, getting close can be a little strange, and so on. As a result, the girls I meet in these places become friends for the most part.
Make sense?
Anyway, got any tips to be able to I suppose get a girl interested in places like these? And ignoring everything and pretending I am in a club just wouldn't work for me cuz I really don't feel like that's appropriate in classes etc..
So larjarse. This is a serious question. What is confidence and how do you gain the ability? And also, why do you consider women in general to be attracted to confidence?
So there's this girl at my school who's liked me for about 2-3 years. I started noticing in 5th grade, but then I moved schools in 6th grade, after that we were at the same school for 7-10th grade, now I'm a junior and I still think she likes me.
But, other times, I don't think she's interested in me anymore. I share the same feelings as she does, but I don't know whether I should advance further than the occasional greeting or so. I think that she may have given up on me and is talking to some other guys right now.
Any tips/advice for my current situation? What should I do to grab her attention more?
I agree that it is important to have confidence in your life in order to be attractive, for night life the most important thing is to have or fake confidence and somebody with you who is a trusted friend.
Girl or guy, this person can really help you out and you can take turns helping each other out.
On October 19 2009 10:18 arb wrote: ok real question , me and girl have been dating for like 2 weeks, ex bf comes in cock blocks me and she gets back together with him, how to reverse situation?
Reverse the situation, literally. You're the ex-boyfriend, go cock-block that fag.
EDIT: Preferably bring a weapon. Shuts up pussies extra-fast.
On October 19 2009 10:18 arb wrote: ok real question , me and girl have been dating for like 2 weeks, ex bf comes in cock blocks me and she gets back together with him, how to reverse situation?
Reverse the situation, literally. You're the ex-boyfriend, go cock-block that fag.
EDIT: Preferably bring a weapon. Shuts up pussies extra-fast.
Make sure you are as much as a gentleman you can be.
Get haircuts regularly, clothes perfectly ironed, class and work before time, open doors and pull out chairs for all women, exercise daily, read the Times and Journal everyday, always have an interesting book you're reading, spend QT with friends and family, savings and investments in order, practice your second language weekly, volunteer at least once a month, keep your car and house clean, wardrobe immaculate... and no turning hoes into housewives.
Be happy with who you are, but never be satisfied
1. Be a better man (I believe PUA people call this "inner game"), 2. know what kind of person you want, 3. don't be afraid of meeting people and keeping a wide and open social life, 4. and things will happen when they happen.
Answer to all these questions for men who are not women-slaves:
YOU ARE #1. ANY QUESTION YOU ASK ABOUT A WOMAN LEAVING YOU PUTS HER AS #1. THIS IS A FALSE MENTALITY.
We spend our lives putting our egos on the line, only to be stepped on by the cruel judgmental heel of women. I say, fuck that shit. We are supposed to be in control, not them.
1. Don't bother with niceties and shit. Be sarcastic, witty, flirtatiously insulting. If she doesn't buy it, there are 4 billion other women out there. Forget about that bitch. 2. A bitch is a bitch. They all have the same tendencies and mentalities. They like money, power, badboys and expensive shit. Promise the first 2 and last item on the list, while only providing the third, and they will be swept away. 3. Is the next bitch you want to fuck going to be the bitch you want to marry? No. So why treat her like you're walking down the isle with her family judging you from behind? Fuck that. Treat her how women have treated you - cold-hearted indifference. Make her starve for your attention, give it to her as a reward, and she will love you forever. 4. Things only happen because you make them happen, not because she gives consent or because she likes you. She likes you because you made that happen. She gives consent because you made her give consent by making her like you. Control the situation. They are women. We are men. End of story.
On October 19 2009 13:36 AceldamA wrote: I'm in love with a girl named leela and I was wondering if saying I love you with the stars themselves was a good way to show her that I loved her
Only if you want to set yourself up for having your testicles being her footrest for the rest of her life (note how there is no "your" life, because you effectively surrender that to her as soon as you do this for however long she decides to keep your pathetic bumbling neo-Romeo ass around). You don't give them anything until they give you something first. You don't pay for dinner until you get a blowjob/have sex with her. You don't take her on dates that you pay for until you've had sex with her. You don't tell her you love her until you made sure she loves you first. That way when you finally say it she will be on the verge of tears, which is a sensation chronologically closely followed by intimate "love" sex, which is really no more than hormonal response to the instinctual feeling of fulfillment of finding a temporary mate in the woman's mind.
Also, the sentence you said simply makes no sense in English, which is all the more reason to abandon such self-demeaning pursuits.
On October 19 2009 13:36 AceldamA wrote: I'm in love with a girl named leela and I was wondering if saying I love you with the stars themselves was a good way to show her that I loved her
Yeah but make sure she sees it before the implosion bomb goes off.
On October 18 2009 07:49 iloveambiguity wrote: i am actually wondering about a romantic surprise for her, i already left flowers at her doorstep, sent her an ascii flower, asked her friend about what kind of chocolate she likes, and brought it to her, any suggestions?
iloveambiguity:
This seems like you are doing too much. You have put yourself in a situation where she knows you want to date her, and she knows she can just drop you whenever she pleases. You are leaning towards the provider (see my previous post).
I suggest you let her know, indirectly, that you have a life, that you have priorities, and that you would like her to be a part of your life (but you will not wait in the freezing, pouring rain out of her window just because she didn't answer a text)
On October 18 2009 07:49 iloveambiguity wrote: i am actually wondering about a romantic surprise for her, i already left flowers at her doorstep, sent her an ascii flower, asked her friend about what kind of chocolate she likes, and brought it to her, any suggestions?
iloveambiguity:
This seems like you are doing too much. You have put yourself in a situation where she knows you want to date her, and she knows she can just drop you whenever she pleases. You are leaning towards the provider (see my previous post).
I suggest you let her know, indirectly, that you have a life, that you have priorities, and that you would like her to be a part of your life (but you will not wait in the freezing, pouring rain out of her window just because she didn't answer a text)
I think you hit the nail on the head...
"(but you will not wait in the freezing, pouring rain out of her window just because she didn't answer a text)"
Show me the man who did this so he can surrender his useless genitalia for the purification of the gene pool.
Hey man i really think im in love wuith this girl. I cant even think about her seuxally, i just think about marrying her someday and living in la, sessioning as a keyboardist, having kids, having our ups and downs, and all. I would lay awake every night for hours thinking about her. and shes in a relationship with another guy. i felt like my soul was TORN out of my body. Anything reminds me of her, and i feel like a piece of dirt. So anyways last thursday, the day after I found out, I was completely out of my mind, ya know? and i called her up and told her that i had fallen in love with her. yes i know, wtf was i doing. but anyways now that im sort of back to my good old state of mind again wtf do i do about this. I saw her last night at a football game with him and i went and puked. I just tonight ate my first "meal" (1 bowl of soup) for 3 days. I cry every night, cant sleep, cant focus in school, cry for 2 hours every day at work. when i called her it was really awkward and then she asked me if she could call me back, reassured me she would, but still hasnt(which reeally just isnt even her...i dont understand) so anyways what do i do? I think im going to(if i see her at school tomorrow) tell her im really sorry and I was out of my mind and stuff. I dont know. Its just really all a big mess right now.
On October 19 2009 14:08 killanator wrote: Hey man i really think im in love wuith this girl. I cant even think about her seuxally, i just think about marrying her someday and living in la, sessioning as a keyboardist, having kids, having our ups and downs, and all. I would lay awake every night for hours thinking about her. and shes in a relationship with another guy. i felt like my soul was TORN out of my body. Anything reminds me of her, and i feel like a piece of dirt. So anyways last thursday, the day after I found out, I was completely out of my mind, ya know? and i called her up and told her that i had fallen in love with her. yes i know, wtf was i doing. but anyways now that im sort of back to my good old state of mind again wtf do i do about this. I saw her last night at a football game with him and i went and puked. I just tonight ate my first "meal" (1 bowl of soup) for 3 days. I cry every night, cant sleep, cant focus in school, cry for 2 hours every day at work. when i called her it was really awkward and then she asked me if she could call me back, reassured me she would, but still hasnt(which reeally just isnt even her...i dont understand) so anyways what do i do? I think im going to(if i see her at school tomorrow) tell her im really sorry and I was out of my mind and stuff. I dont know. Its just really all a big mess right now.
What do you do?
Where to begin.
First of all, crying over women is not acceptable. If you aren't married to her and she hasn't broken your SC CD, there is no excuse. Scratch that last one, you don't need a CD to play ICCup. If you're not married to her, she's nobody. Man up.
Second of all, stealing a girl from a guy by being inferior to him by crying over her and calling her is an instant loss. You've already lost any chance you have with her. Give up. The only way to steal a woman from another man is to be more man than he is. This involves not showing that you care about her (calling, crying, and telling her you love her all go against this), and making her care about you more than she cares about him by seducing her with intellect and passive-aggressive flirting. If she doesn't buy it, fuck her, she is not the one you are looking for.
Third of all, if you go to school, you are too young to think about marriage. You don't even know who you are right now, how the fuck can you know who you want to tie yourself to for the rest of your life? Stop living in a Shakespearean dreamworld.
Fourth, don't apologize to her. That would just bury you deeper. Your best option is to never speak to her again, otherwise she might tell more of her friends about you. Or, she might tell her boyfriend that you're bothering her, and he will kick your ass because you clearly can't stand up fo yourself.
Fifth, go find yourself a new ho with this outlook and I assure you your life will be better. Dealing with emotional commitment shit is for when you are old and can't fuck any girl you want, so you have to settle for the one you've got hooked on you.
On October 19 2009 13:33 arb wrote: HonestTea and Fana both give good points..
fuck im so confused as to who is giving better advice
? Their advice is not in conflict. No matter how much of a badass you are, at the end of the day the best girl you can get depends on your market value. HonestTea gave you a list of things you can do to improve your value on the sexual market.
Fanatacist tells you what the alpha male attitude is when approaching women.
Women like better men and women like alpha males. You should follow the advice of both fanatacist and HonestTea.
Edit: but don't take fanatacist's advice too literally
On October 19 2009 13:23 HonestTea wrote: Answer to all these questions:
BECOME A BETTER MAN
Make sure you are as much as a gentleman you can be.
Get haircuts regularly, clothes perfectly ironed, class and work before time, open doors and pull out chairs for all women, exercise daily, read the Times and Journal everyday, always have an interesting book you're reading, spend QT with friends and family, savings and investments in order, practice your second language weekly, volunteer at least once a month, keep your car and house clean, wardrobe immaculate... and no turning hoes into housewives.
Be happy with who you are, but never be satisfied
1. Be a better man (I believe PUA people call this "inner game"), 2. know what kind of person you want, 3. don't be afraid of meeting people and keeping a wide and open social life, 4. and things will happen when they happen.
Now close this fucking thread.
"Be happy with who you are, but never be satisfied"
I don't have time to go into a lengthy post due to the fact that I have math homework, but I implore all of you to NOT follow the previous quote. Please for love of God, humanity, Krishna, Tao, whatever, don't follow this line of thinking.
On October 19 2009 14:08 killanator wrote: Hey man i really think im in love wuith this girl. I cant even think about her seuxally, i just think about marrying her someday and living in la, sessioning as a keyboardist, having kids, having our ups and downs, and all. I would lay awake every night for hours thinking about her. and shes in a relationship with another guy. i felt like my soul was TORN out of my body. Anything reminds me of her, and i feel like a piece of dirt. So anyways last thursday, the day after I found out, I was completely out of my mind, ya know? and i called her up and told her that i had fallen in love with her. yes i know, wtf was i doing. but anyways now that im sort of back to my good old state of mind again wtf do i do about this. I saw her last night at a football game with him and i went and puked. I just tonight ate my first "meal" (1 bowl of soup) for 3 days. I cry every night, cant sleep, cant focus in school, cry for 2 hours every day at work. when i called her it was really awkward and then she asked me if she could call me back, reassured me she would, but still hasnt(which reeally just isnt even her...i dont understand) so anyways what do i do? I think im going to(if i see her at school tomorrow) tell her im really sorry and I was out of my mind and stuff. I dont know. Its just really all a big mess right now.
this threads so hilarious.
there may be a way to turn this around but only if you're actually willing to go through with it all the way. the basic idea is you've been broken emotionally and now you don't give a fuck anymore.
lol i had written a long ass explanation but honestly just use Fana's method and that is the excuse for why you became this way and remember who you pretend to be now is who you will be 3-6 months from now.
The problem with most of the advice in this thread, including LarJarsE's, is that it subscribes to this simplistic notion that there are certain universal truths that can be manipulated in relationships. The reality is that this isn't the case. Dispensing this hackneyed brand of pop-psychology that gives diluted answers to vague questions is the same brand of hucksterism that sells truckloads of inane self-help books to desperate consumers.
There is no simple game plan or gimmick or recipe for getting girls. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something.
If you want to be comfortable getting girls, you need to be comfortable with yourself. Know who you are and what you want, in the large and small senses, and the other stuff just sort of works itself out. This is in no way some small or easy measure, but it's an essential part of growing up.
I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my aunt has been cheating on my uncle with an old boyfriend for nearly a year (Uncle Jay* told me on September 28; Aunt Kathy had told him on August 10). When I talked with Kathy, she said he always put her last in his life--after his brothers, kids, and work--and that she felt like she never measured up. I'm pretty close with my cousins (three boys) who all want their mom to go back to their dad, or at least to quit her relationship with Rob (the old boyfriend) because it's adulterous. Jay, realizing what an inattentive husband he'd been, tried for those seven weeks to win Kathy back with love notes and 36 roses (one for each year they've been married), and doing chores around the house; she says he's just faking, and that after a while he'll just go back to being the same old Jay who gets home from work and takes a nap. Jay filed for divorce after Kathy told him she couldn't commit to him again. There's a mandatory two-month waiting period for divorce, so it won't be final until December 7. In my opinion, Kathy's pretty much making excuses not to go back to her husband because (she thinks) she's in love with Rob, and she feels loved when she's with him.
What advice would you give to Jay? To his kids? Is there anything Jay can do to win Kathy back, or should he just prepare for the legal action? I would appreciate responses from several posters--whoever is interested.
Take into consideration that a lot of our programming is just to get better genes. Women and men have different mating patterns. Simplified, men try to impregnate as many women as possible. If a man impregnates an inferior woman, nothing is lost. If he fails to impregnate any other women, he can care for her and his child, but if he succeeds in impregnating a better woman he can just dump her.
Women cannot follow the same strategy. To get impregnated and give birth, then caring for the child is a much bigger investment for the woman than for the man. If she gets impregnated by a lesser man while she could have had better, she has wasted several years of her life at the minimum. As you know, a woman's sexual market value lowers when she gets older, so to mate with inferior males is a losing strategy.
That is why it is so hard to get laid for men. Women try to hold out until they meet a man that is at the very top of their range. The bigger her ego, the better man she will think she deserves and she will hold out until she meets him. A lot of the time women spend around men is just probing. "Am I high value enough to get him?" Yes -> Find a higher value guy and probe again. No -> Try really hard to make him like her -> succeed -> find a higher value guy and try again. Repeat until she thinks she is at the top of her range.
This mechanism explains why, paradoxically, assholes are more successful with women than nice guys. The asshole triggers her "try really hard to him like her" wiring and the nice guy triggers her "find a higher value guy and probe again" wiring.
So what happens to guys with low social status? Seeing as how women flock around high value guys, low value guys are in danger of not propagating their genes. That's why men developed the strategy "the provider." This strategy is to sacrifice a lot for a woman in the hope that she will reciprocate with sexual favours. This is the one hope for a low value guy to mix his genes with a high value woman.
From the point of view of the woman, keeping a provider around makes sense. He can support her, ease her loneliness, and care for her while she searches for her dream man. In order to reduce the risk of becoming pregnant with a low-value guy, she should only give him as much sex as necessary to keep him around.
If he will care for her with only the occasional flirty smile, under the pretense of being just friends, then she will say "let's just be friends" while flirting just enough to keep him providing. If he is a very good provider, women may offer to sleep with him once a month or so, his large sacrifices for her compensating somewhat for his low social value.
Today, the MAJORITY of men try provider strategies to get women. As fanaticist eloquently describes, provider men have little leverage in the relationship. She will demand very large sacrifices for very small investment on her side, and if you stand up for yourself, you will probably get dumped.
So what happens to high value men? Since women only go for the very top of their range, high value men are quite scarce. As a result, competition is fierce and women have to make very large sacrifices in order to get at his cock. Sexual favours abundant, much less bitching, and she tries to care for him as well as she can. At the extreme, women turn into obedient slaves, eager to please, similar to men's provider strategy.
So how do you tell who is a high-value guy and who is not? How do women tell? If a woman thinks a guy is lower value than her and does not make sufficiently large sacrifices, he will dump her for a woman that does know her place. On the other hand, a woman might be the obedient slave girl while the guy lacks confidence and could even be a provider for her.
One way to tell is to see how other women treat him. If other women seem eager to please him, then it's probably best to make large sacrifices for him. If other women ignore him, then he would probably accept a provider position in the relationship. The most common way, however, doesn't involve anyone else at all. It involves cruelty.
Unpredictable aggression is very successful at keeping those of lower status subservient. Women will, randomly, through no fault of your own, be aggressive or cruel to you. This includes, but is not limited to: withholding sex and/or other affection, especially when you show need for her, ignoring you, not follow through on promises, verbally assault you for something (she thinks) you did wrong at completely unexpected moments, saying hurtful things, refusing small requests for no reason, and just generally being a bitch.
How you respond to it is crucial. Many men assume they did something wrong and try to appease her. The other day I saw a friend, normally a strong confident guy, cry on the phone with hir girlfriend "no baby, I don't want to fight with you *sob* please." He fell in love with her, she waited for a time she needed her emotional support, and then she made outrageous demands of him. When he didn't do as she demanded, she said "you just want to fight with me, don't you?"
The more bullshit you take the more she assumes you belong in the provider role, and act accordingly. If you don't take any bullshit, even when you are in need, she will assume you could easily get what you need from other women. She'll be much less likely to take advantage of your weakness and much more likely to take your cock into her mouth in the hope that you forget other women exist.
That is why fanatacist's advice works. Even if you are not a high-value guy, but you act and talk the part, women will assume you are. They will be eager to please you, other women will notice, and that's how you start the ball rolling. Simply BLUFFING that you don't have to take any bullshit from any woman, can make it true.
All the above aside, men and women don't HAVE to follow their evolutionary impulses. Women feeling the impulse to be obedient slaves will repress it out of feminist beliefs. Women feeling the impulse to be vile and cruel will repress it out of love for their mate. Men bathing in attention from women don't HAVE to treat them like shit. If you can be a nice guy while not taking any bullshit, if you can combine that, then I think you can be the perfect boyfriend. At the end of the day the women will pick the guys that make them the most happy and the men will pick the women that make them the most happy. HonestTea's advice to be the best man you can be is not so bad after all.
On October 19 2009 18:39 Phrujbaz wrote: One way to tell is to see how other women treat him. If other women seem eager to please him, then it's probably best to make large sacrifices for him. If other women ignore him, then he would probably accept a provider position in the relationship.
I have observed this a lot.
Personally I have no problems interacting with girls who I just want to be friends with (i.e. no attraction). But whenever I'm around girls I find really hot I tend to close up and become an 'observer' - i.e., watch them interact with their friends etc. to try and figure out how they tick and what I can do to make them like me. As a result I never really make a move on girls I like or I give a bad first impression (e.g., quiet shy type). I know this is pretty irrational but it's hard to overcome, I've only done it once through stomach-turning courage. Every other time I chicken out cos it seems like it would be really corny and not who I am to approach them with fake conversation starters and/or act like a douche.
On October 19 2009 13:36 AceldamA wrote: I'm in love with a girl named leela and I was wondering if saying I love you with the stars themselves was a good way to show her that I loved her
Only if you want to set yourself up for having your testicles being her footrest for the rest of her life (note how there is no "your" life, because you effectively surrender that to her as soon as you do this for however long she decides to keep your pathetic bumbling neo-Romeo ass around). You don't give them anything until they give you something first. You don't pay for dinner until you get a blowjob/have sex with her. You don't take her on dates that you pay for until you've had sex with her. You don't tell her you love her until you made sure she loves you first. That way when you finally say it she will be on the verge of tears, which is a sensation chronologically closely followed by intimate "love" sex, which is really no more than hormonal response to the instinctual feeling of fulfillment of finding a temporary mate in the woman's mind.
Also, the sentence you said simply makes no sense in English, which is all the more reason to abandon such self-demeaning pursuits.
Awesome post! One thing I've learned along time ago hahahaha!
i always tell some of my friends to be "likeable assholes" like the foul words coming out of their mouths are both hilarious and offensive at times and women will just laugh all they want..
On October 19 2009 18:39 Phrujbaz wrote: Women cannot follow the same strategy. To get impregnated and give birth, then caring for the child is a much bigger investment for the woman than for the man. If she gets impregnated by a lesser man while she could have had better, she has wasted several years of her life at the minimum. As you know, a woman's sexual market value lowers when she gets older, so to mate with inferior males is a losing strategy.
That is why it is so hard to get laid for men. Women try to hold out until they meet a man that is at the very top of their range. The bigger her ego, the better man she will think she deserves and she will hold out until she meets him. A lot of the time women spend around men is just probing. "Am I high value enough to get him?" Yes -> Find a higher value guy and probe again. No -> Try really hard to make him like her -> succeed -> find a higher value guy and try again. Repeat until she thinks she is at the top of her range.
What I don't understand is why women haven't adapted to modern society. In today's world, by and large the (economically) successful men have brains not brawn - in contrast to 'caveman' times. So the best investment in terms of successful genes is to mate with someone successful in society, i.e., the "provider type". These men are generally not going to be the douches, instead of brawns they have brains. So why can't women see through the bullshit, adjust their scales, and figure out that the high-value man at the top of the heap is not going to be a douche. Instead he's going to be an intelligent, hard-working man; who may also have desirable qualities such as humour/sensitivity/physically attractive (or whatever the woman's preferences may be).
I know a very few girls that seem to think this way but for the rest: are most women really this clueless?* I would like to hear a woman's opinion on this? (Where are you lilsusie/unc?)
EDIT: *Interestingly, the girls I have spoken to think exactly this for the above reason.
On October 19 2009 13:36 AceldamA wrote: I'm in love with a girl named leela and I was wondering if saying I love you with the stars themselves was a good way to show her that I loved her
Only if you want to set yourself up for having your testicles being her footrest for the rest of her life (note how there is no "your" life, because you effectively surrender that to her as soon as you do this for however long she decides to keep your pathetic bumbling neo-Romeo ass around). You don't give them anything until they give you something first. You don't pay for dinner until you get a blowjob/have sex with her. You don't take her on dates that you pay for until you've had sex with her. You don't tell her you love her until you made sure she loves you first. That way when you finally say it she will be on the verge of tears, which is a sensation chronologically closely followed by intimate "love" sex, which is really no more than hormonal response to the instinctual feeling of fulfillment of finding a temporary mate in the woman's mind.
Also, the sentence you said simply makes no sense in English, which is all the more reason to abandon such self-demeaning pursuits.
what the fuck...? you're just a fucking sexist, gtfo. what you're saying is not even funny, much less respectable and not worth reading. seriously, just don't talk anymore, we get it, your ex girlfriend castrated you. unfortunetly she didn't kill you...
On October 19 2009 18:39 Phrujbaz wrote: Women cannot follow the same strategy. To get impregnated and give birth, then caring for the child is a much bigger investment for the woman than for the man. If she gets impregnated by a lesser man while she could have had better, she has wasted several years of her life at the minimum. As you know, a woman's sexual market value lowers when she gets older, so to mate with inferior males is a losing strategy.
That is why it is so hard to get laid for men. Women try to hold out until they meet a man that is at the very top of their range. The bigger her ego, the better man she will think she deserves and she will hold out until she meets him. A lot of the time women spend around men is just probing. "Am I high value enough to get him?" Yes -> Find a higher value guy and probe again. No -> Try really hard to make him like her -> succeed -> find a higher value guy and try again. Repeat until she thinks she is at the top of her range.
What I don't understand is why women haven't adapted to modern society. In today's world, by and large the (economically) successful men have brains not brawn - in contrast to 'caveman' times. So the best investment in terms of successful genes is to mate with someone successful in society, i.e., the "provider type". These men are generally not going to be the douches, instead of brawns they have brains. So why can't women see through the bullshit, adjust their scales, and figure out that the high-value man at the top of the heap is not going to be a douche. Instead he's going to be an intelligent, hard-working man; who may also have desirable qualities such as humour/sensitivity/physically attractive (or whatever the woman's preferences may be).
I know a very few girls that seem to think this way but for the rest: are most women really this stupid?* I would like to hear a woman's opinion on this? (Where are you lilsusie/unc?)
EDIT: *Interestingly, the girls I have spoken to think exactly this for the above reason.
I think the problem with women being "stupid" is that they never interacted with an asshole who provides good advice about what they really do to seduce so many women. (example would be "me", I always tell girls that I'm friends with is to be a bitch at times so that men will have a challenge in the relationship.)
Or I also tell them, withhold sex for the mean time, let's see how long your relationship will last?
On October 19 2009 18:39 Phrujbaz wrote: Women cannot follow the same strategy. To get impregnated and give birth, then caring for the child is a much bigger investment for the woman than for the man. If she gets impregnated by a lesser man while she could have had better, she has wasted several years of her life at the minimum. As you know, a woman's sexual market value lowers when she gets older, so to mate with inferior males is a losing strategy.
That is why it is so hard to get laid for men. Women try to hold out until they meet a man that is at the very top of their range. The bigger her ego, the better man she will think she deserves and she will hold out until she meets him. A lot of the time women spend around men is just probing. "Am I high value enough to get him?" Yes -> Find a higher value guy and probe again. No -> Try really hard to make him like her -> succeed -> find a higher value guy and try again. Repeat until she thinks she is at the top of her range.
What I don't understand is why women haven't adapted to modern society. In today's world, by and large the (economically) successful men have brains not brawn - in contrast to 'caveman' times. So the best investment in terms of successful genes is to mate with someone successful in society, i.e., the "provider type". These men are generally not going to be the douches, instead of brawns they have brains. So why can't women see through the bullshit, adjust their scales, and figure out that the high-value man at the top of the heap is not going to be a douche. Instead he's going to be an intelligent, hard-working man; who may also have desirable qualities such as humour/sensitivity/physically attractive (or whatever the woman's preferences may be).
I know a very few girls that seem to think this way but for the rest: are most women really this stupid?* I would like to hear a woman's opinion on this? (Where are you lilsusie/unc?)
EDIT: *Interestingly, the girls I have spoken to think exactly this for the above reason.
I think the problem with women being "stupid" is that they never interacted with an asshole who provides good advice about what they really do to seduce so many women. (example would be "me", I always tell girls that I'm friends with is to be a bitch at times so that men will have a challenge in the relationship.)
Or I also tell them, withhold sex for the mean time, let's see how long your relationship will last?
Man, I'm betraying our kind my friends.. sorry
Stupid wasn't really the word I was looking for, more like clueless - like they don't realise what is better in the longrun. Anyway, don't worry about betraying us. You're only betraying the douches. So I'm actually glad :p
On October 19 2009 18:39 Phrujbaz wrote: Women cannot follow the same strategy. To get impregnated and give birth, then caring for the child is a much bigger investment for the woman than for the man. If she gets impregnated by a lesser man while she could have had better, she has wasted several years of her life at the minimum. As you know, a woman's sexual market value lowers when she gets older, so to mate with inferior males is a losing strategy.
That is why it is so hard to get laid for men. Women try to hold out until they meet a man that is at the very top of their range. The bigger her ego, the better man she will think she deserves and she will hold out until she meets him. A lot of the time women spend around men is just probing. "Am I high value enough to get him?" Yes -> Find a higher value guy and probe again. No -> Try really hard to make him like her -> succeed -> find a higher value guy and try again. Repeat until she thinks she is at the top of her range.
What I don't understand is why women haven't adapted to modern society. In today's world, by and large the (economically) successful men have brains not brawn - in contrast to 'caveman' times. So the best investment in terms of successful genes is to mate with someone successful in society, i.e., the "provider type". These men are generally not going to be the douches, instead of brawns they have brains. So why can't women see through the bullshit, adjust their scales, and figure out that the high-value man at the top of the heap is not going to be a douche. Instead he's going to be an intelligent, hard-working man; who may also have desirable qualities such as humour/sensitivity/physically attractive (or whatever the woman's preferences may be).
I know a very few girls that seem to think this way but for the rest: are most women really this clueless?* I would like to hear a woman's opinion on this? (Where are you lilsusie/unc?)
EDIT: *Interestingly, the girls I have spoken to think exactly this for the above reason.
ur over analyzing this, and missing the point. being in a relationship is about having fun, clicking, and enjoying each other. its not a business opportunity or a job, stop looking at it like this. the banging hot women u masturbate to dont choose the men u describe because they are boring (in a general sense), not a challenge, routinary, and usually bad lays. and unless a woman is looking into getting married because of her age (30 years old and has nothing serious going on) then she wont be mainly concerned with those things, and to be honest, she shouldnt have to. boringggg.
and please, a girl doesnt think "is this guy cool enough for me to fuck him?" okay? i think some people here lack respect for women. and that means u shouldnt be talking about them at all.
Take into consideration that a lot of our programming is just to get better genes. Women and men have different mating patterns. Simplified, men try to impregnate as many women as possible. If a man impregnates an inferior woman, nothing is lost. If he fails to impregnate any other women, he can care for her and his child, but if he succeeds in impregnating a better woman he can just dump her.
Women cannot follow the same strategy. To get impregnated and give birth, then caring for the child is a much bigger investment for the woman than for the man. If she gets impregnated by a lesser man while she could have had better, she has wasted several years of her life at the minimum. As you know, a woman's sexual market value lowers when she gets older, so to mate with inferior males is a losing strategy.
That is why it is so hard to get laid for men. Women try to hold out until they meet a man that is at the very top of their range. The bigger her ego, the better man she will think she deserves and she will hold out until she meets him. A lot of the time women spend around men is just probing. "Am I high value enough to get him?" Yes -> Find a higher value guy and probe again. No -> Try really hard to make him like her -> succeed -> find a higher value guy and try again. Repeat until she thinks she is at the top of her range.
This mechanism explains why, paradoxically, assholes are more successful with women than nice guys. The asshole triggers her "try really hard to him like her" wiring and the nice guy triggers her "find a higher value guy and probe again" wiring.
So what happens to guys with low social status? Seeing as how women flock around high value guys, low value guys are in danger of not propagating their genes. That's why men developed the strategy "the provider." This strategy is to sacrifice a lot for a woman in the hope that she will reciprocate with sexual favours. This is the one hope for a low value guy to mix his genes with a high value woman.
From the point of view of the woman, keeping a provider around makes sense. He can support her, ease her loneliness, and care for her while she searches for her dream man. In order to reduce the risk of becoming pregnant with a low-value guy, she should only give him as much sex as necessary to keep him around.
If he will care for her with only the occasional flirty smile, under the pretense of being just friends, then she will say "let's just be friends" while flirting just enough to keep him providing. If he is a very good provider, women may offer to sleep with him once a month or so, his large sacrifices for her compensating somewhat for his low social value.
Today, the MAJORITY of men try provider strategies to get women. As fanaticist eloquently describes, provider men have little leverage in the relationship. She will demand very large sacrifices for very small investment on her side, and if you stand up for yourself, you will probably get dumped.
So what happens to high value men? Since women only go for the very top of their range, high value men are quite scarce. As a result, competition is fierce and women have to make very large sacrifices in order to get at his cock. Sexual favours abundant, much less bitching, and she tries to care for him as well as she can. At the extreme, women turn into obedient slaves, eager to please, similar to men's provider strategy.
So how do you tell who is a high-value guy and who is not? How do women tell? If a woman thinks a guy is lower value than her and does not make sufficiently large sacrifices, he will dump her for a woman that does know her place. On the other hand, a woman might be the obedient slave girl while the guy lacks confidence and could even be a provider for her.
One way to tell is to see how other women treat him. If other women seem eager to please him, then it's probably best to make large sacrifices for him. If other women ignore him, then he would probably accept a provider position in the relationship. The most common way, however, doesn't involve anyone else at all. It involves cruelty.
Unpredictable aggression is very successful at keeping those of lower status subservient. Women will, randomly, through no fault of your own, be aggressive or cruel to you. This includes, but is not limited to: withholding sex and/or other affection, especially when you show need for her, ignoring you, not follow through on promises, verbally assault you for something (she thinks) you did wrong at completely unexpected moments, saying hurtful things, refusing small requests for no reason, and just generally being a bitch.
How you respond to it is crucial. Many men assume they did something wrong and try to appease her. The other day I saw a friend, normally a strong confident guy, cry on the phone with hir girlfriend "no baby, I don't want to fight with you *sob* please." He fell in love with her, she waited for a time she needed her emotional support, and then she made outrageous demands of him. When he didn't do as she demanded, she said "you just want to fight with me, don't you?"
The more bullshit you take the more she assumes you belong in the provider role, and act accordingly. If you don't take any bullshit, even when you are in need, she will assume you could easily get what you need from other women. She'll be much less likely to take advantage of your weakness and much more likely to take your cock into her mouth in the hope that you forget other women exist.
That is why fanatacist's advice works. Even if you are not a high-value guy, but you act and talk the part, women will assume you are. They will be eager to please you, other women will notice, and that's how you start the ball rolling. Simply BLUFFING that you don't have to take any bullshit from any woman, can make it true.
All the above aside, men and women don't HAVE to follow their evolutionary impulses. Women feeling the impulse to be obedient slaves will repress it out of feminist beliefs. Women feeling the impulse to be vile and cruel will repress it out of love for their mate. Men bathing in attention from women don't HAVE to treat them like shit. If you can be a nice guy while not taking any bullshit, if you can combine that, then I think you can be the perfect boyfriend. At the end of the day the women will pick the guys that make them the most happy and the men will pick the women that make them the most happy. HonestTea's advice to be the best man you can be is not so bad after all.
this is sad. a materialistic quoting a sexist. i hope girls dont read this...
On October 19 2009 20:16 UGC4 wrote: and please, a girl doesnt think "is this guy cool enough for me to fuck him?" okay? i think some people here lack respect for women. and that means u shouldnt be talking about them at all.
It's not individual women that are being talked about. It's what women in general find attractive in men, and what drives them to seek out particular men over others. The 'science' of attraction.
While this may be valid:
On October 19 2009 20:16 UGC4 wrote: the banging hot women u masturbate to dont choose the men u describe because they are boring (in a general sense), not a challenge, routinary, and usually bad lays. and unless a woman is looking into getting married because of her age (30 years old and has nothing serious going on) then she wont be mainly concerned with those things, and to be honest, she shouldnt have to. boringggg. .
it doesn't explain the alternative satisfactorily, i.e., why women are attracted to men who treat them 'badly'. Of course by badly I mean inferior etc., as Phrujbaz was theorising above. And of course badly is a subjective view from the boring guys point of view, clearly the women in such relationships are by and large happy enough - why?
To answer my own question with a cliche I guess it is just that first impressions count. Women will be attracted initially to the 'exciting guy' who can show her a good time. Even though he acts like a douche, it is more fun hanging out with him and his douche buddies for two weeks before he dumps her, so she finds another 'exciting alpha' and repeat. Perhaps it takes a few years and many failed relationships for some women to realise that these men are not good long-term mates.
Or perhaps it is a conscious decision that they don't need to find a stable relationship until they are, as you say UGC4, 30 years old and have nothing serious going on.
Conscious or subconscious I think the previous sentence is a satisfactory enough answer for me, bar interviewing a bunch of women ;p
On October 19 2009 18:39 Phrujbaz wrote: Women cannot follow the same strategy. To get impregnated and give birth, then caring for the child is a much bigger investment for the woman than for the man. If she gets impregnated by a lesser man while she could have had better, she has wasted several years of her life at the minimum. As you know, a woman's sexual market value lowers when she gets older, so to mate with inferior males is a losing strategy.
That is why it is so hard to get laid for men. Women try to hold out until they meet a man that is at the very top of their range. The bigger her ego, the better man she will think she deserves and she will hold out until she meets him. A lot of the time women spend around men is just probing. "Am I high value enough to get him?" Yes -> Find a higher value guy and probe again. No -> Try really hard to make him like her -> succeed -> find a higher value guy and try again. Repeat until she thinks she is at the top of her range.
What I don't understand is why women haven't adapted to modern society. In today's world, by and large the (economically) successful men have brains not brawn - in contrast to 'caveman' times. So the best investment in terms of successful genes is to mate with someone successful in society, i.e., the "provider type". These men are generally not going to be the douches, instead of brawns they have brains. So why can't women see through the bullshit, adjust their scales, and figure out that the high-value man at the top of the heap is not going to be a douche. Instead he's going to be an intelligent, hard-working man; who may also have desirable qualities such as humour/sensitivity/physically attractive (or whatever the woman's preferences may be).
I know a very few girls that seem to think this way but for the rest: are most women really this clueless?* I would like to hear a woman's opinion on this? (Where are you lilsusie/unc?)
EDIT: *Interestingly, the girls I have spoken to think exactly this for the above reason.
You seem to be confusing intelligence with success. I would say there is a very loose correlation between intelligence and success in todays society.
You want to project success, not intelligence. Girls can find out your intelligence later. So instead of walking around with a calculus book. go out, get a suit and a haircut and walk around like you're the CEO of a major corporation. You'll get far more favourable reactions.
On October 17 2009 09:34 larjarse wrote: Kurtistheturtle: This is more like it!
Okay, you've already made great leaps with this girl. You know she is attracted to you. You are asking me how to get intimate with her.
I would suggest watch a movie with her, not in theaters. At someone's house, with you two alone.
Women know what men want, they want to be intimate right here and now, with no fight to it.
MY ADVICE: Hold back on the sexual intimacy. When you are hanging with her during the movie, don't go in for the kiss immediately. Talk to her a bit, show her your good humor and show her you are comfortable not being intimate with her right in front of you. This will confuse her, she will wonder why you haven't made a move yet.
And right before she is about to give up on you, get closer, maybe a small compliment may help, and move in for the makeout session. After kissing for a little, if you are into it, and you notice she is (even remotely into it) just STOP. Find something else to seemingly occupy your attention for a short while. Go to the bathroom right quick. Talk about something else. Pick up a magizine and read it for a little.
Carefully notice how she responds to this. She is going to be confused, guys do not act like this! And before she actually gets frustrated or loses hope, move in again. She will LOVE the fact that you still want her. Do this in small steps, and she may be more and more into it every time, getting closer and closer to sexual intimacy. Girls LOVE being chased! If you show her that you can restrain yourself and you have other things on your mind besides sex, she will be confused and try to make you WANT HER.
This WORKS.
I thought he was a troll but this post is actually completely true
On October 19 2009 13:36 AceldamA wrote: I'm in love with a girl named leela and I was wondering if saying I love you with the stars themselves was a good way to show her that I loved her
Only if you want to set yourself up for having your testicles being her footrest for the rest of her life (note how there is no "your" life, because you effectively surrender that to her as soon as you do this for however long she decides to keep your pathetic bumbling neo-Romeo ass around). You don't give them anything until they give you something first. You don't pay for dinner until you get a blowjob/have sex with her. You don't take her on dates that you pay for until you've had sex with her. You don't tell her you love her until you made sure she loves you first. That way when you finally say it she will be on the verge of tears, which is a sensation chronologically closely followed by intimate "love" sex, which is really no more than hormonal response to the instinctual feeling of fulfillment of finding a temporary mate in the woman's mind.
Also, the sentence you said simply makes no sense in English, which is all the more reason to abandon such self-demeaning pursuits.
what the fuck...? you're just a fucking sexist, gtfo. what you're saying is not even funny, much less respectable and not worth reading. seriously, just don't talk anymore, we get it, your ex girlfriend castrated you. unfortunetly she didn't kill you...
;_; you broke my feelings... Peruvians are so cruel T_T!!!
On October 19 2009 17:22 GOB wrote: The problem with most of the advice in this thread, including LarJarsE's, is that it subscribes to this simplistic notion that there are certain universal truths that can be manipulated in relationships. The reality is that this isn't the case. Dispensing this hackneyed brand of pop-psychology that gives diluted answers to vague questions is the same brand of hucksterism that sells truckloads of inane self-help books to desperate consumers.
There is no simple game plan or gimmick or recipe for getting girls. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something.
If you want to be comfortable getting girls, you need to be comfortable with yourself. Know who you are and what you want, in the large and small senses, and the other stuff just sort of works itself out. This is in no way some small or easy measure, but it's an essential part of growing up.
Here's my honest stance on this:
The problem when asking for/giving advice generally arises when there are ambiguities or details left out that go against the general trends (what you call universal truths) of human social attraction and psychology. On this note, I don't think anyone pretends their methods to be 100% foolproof, regardless of whether they are the best pick-up artist in the world or just some kid on the internet giving "tips." Anyway, there are certainly basic guidelines that can increase your chance with women in general - mentalities, approach techniques, controlled behavior, etc. These things might not help you seduce the wife in a 20 year loving marriage, or turn a nun into a nymphomaniac. Some women are at that level of self-security with their mate (or their sexuality) that they may as well be nuns, even if they are just girls at a club or in your college. However, in my experience, these women are few and far between, and probably have a Y chromosome (or are feminazis). Not really, but that's how rare it seems. A lot of advice that you can get from people WILL help you with women A LOT of the time, because there ARE general patterns in the process of attraction and how it develops in a woman's mind. Think of it like a labyrinth, with 5-6 entrances (different seduction methods), and all of them lead to the center (successful attraction). The paths are slightly different for each woman, but not significantly so (until you get into a real relationship, of course - that is way beyond attraction between 2 adult people), and it just depends what path you know the best or are the best at navigating. Like, let's metaphorically say that down the path of the Asshole there is a map, down the path of the Gentleman there is a compass, down the path of the Seducer there is an angry gnome who throws shit at you... Which path am I more likely to take? The path of the Asshole, because that is the one I can do the best.
In other words, it is definitely about growing up and knowing about yourself, but social interaction and attraction can be HOW you find out about yourself. When I was 13, I figured I would talk to as many girls in my school as possible to figure out how they worked. What ended up happening was I systematically weeded out the ones I don't like, kept the ones I like, and then experimented conversational styles in groups. What I found is that most girls, unless they were drastically different (study-hard Asian vs. white trailer-trash hillbilly, for example), reacted similarly to the same words and intonations. I found what worked best for me, and as I did so I found out a bit about how my mind works and how the minds of others work. No, I didn't simplify women to being some sort of input output machine, but I found that both women and men have these a -> b mental tendencies, a lot of which are subconscious if we don't pay close attention. That was how I started growing up and learning about the world around me beyond books and cookie cutter history classes.
On October 19 2009 18:39 Phrujbaz wrote: Women cannot follow the same strategy. To get impregnated and give birth, then caring for the child is a much bigger investment for the woman than for the man. If she gets impregnated by a lesser man while she could have had better, she has wasted several years of her life at the minimum. As you know, a woman's sexual market value lowers when she gets older, so to mate with inferior males is a losing strategy.
That is why it is so hard to get laid for men. Women try to hold out until they meet a man that is at the very top of their range. The bigger her ego, the better man she will think she deserves and she will hold out until she meets him. A lot of the time women spend around men is just probing. "Am I high value enough to get him?" Yes -> Find a higher value guy and probe again. No -> Try really hard to make him like her -> succeed -> find a higher value guy and try again. Repeat until she thinks she is at the top of her range.
What I don't understand is why women haven't adapted to modern society. In today's world, by and large the (economically) successful men have brains not brawn - in contrast to 'caveman' times. So the best investment in terms of successful genes is to mate with someone successful in society, i.e., the "provider type". These men are generally not going to be the douches, instead of brawns they have brains. So why can't women see through the bullshit, adjust their scales, and figure out that the high-value man at the top of the heap is not going to be a douche. Instead he's going to be an intelligent, hard-working man; who may also have desirable qualities such as humour/sensitivity/physically attractive (or whatever the woman's preferences may be).
I know a very few girls that seem to think this way but for the rest: are most women really this stupid?* I would like to hear a woman's opinion on this? (Where are you lilsusie/unc?)
EDIT: *Interestingly, the girls I have spoken to think exactly this for the above reason.
I think the problem with women being "stupid" is that they never interacted with an asshole who provides good advice about what they really do to seduce so many women. (example would be "me", I always tell girls that I'm friends with is to be a bitch at times so that men will have a challenge in the relationship.)
Or I also tell them, withhold sex for the mean time, let's see how long your relationship will last?
Man, I'm betraying our kind my friends.. sorry
Fuck that. Whose interests in this world have we cared about more, the interests of others or yourself? What do you care if your buddy has sex or doesn't because of what you say? Less sex for him is more potential sex for you. You're not betraying your kind - if your friends are weak, then you can't let them have things you don't have. If they are too weak to control it, they don't deserve it. If they are too weak, then you swoop in and take it. It's human nature son, only in the past century or so have we started becoming PC with all this charity and humanitarian shit. Philanthropy is okay, but you have to get your own and protect it, and if you don't then expect to get it taken from you. End of story.
On October 19 2009 17:22 GOB wrote: The problem with most of the advice in this thread, including LarJarsE's, is that it subscribes to this simplistic notion that there are certain universal truths that can be manipulated in relationships. The reality is that this isn't the case. Dispensing this hackneyed brand of pop-psychology that gives diluted answers to vague questions is the same brand of hucksterism that sells truckloads of inane self-help books to desperate consumers.
There is no simple game plan or gimmick or recipe for getting girls. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something.
If you want to be comfortable getting girls, you need to be comfortable with yourself. Know who you are and what you want, in the large and small senses, and the other stuff just sort of works itself out. This is in no way some small or easy measure, but it's an essential part of growing up.
Well written and true, but there are some statistical commonalities, you have to admit.
On October 17 2009 09:34 larjarse wrote: Kurtistheturtle: This is more like it!
Okay, you've already made great leaps with this girl. You know she is attracted to you. You are asking me how to get intimate with her.
I would suggest watch a movie with her, not in theaters. At someone's house, with you two alone.
Women know what men want, they want to be intimate right here and now, with no fight to it.
MY ADVICE: Hold back on the sexual intimacy. When you are hanging with her during the movie, don't go in for the kiss immediately. Talk to her a bit, show her your good humor and show her you are comfortable not being intimate with her right in front of you. This will confuse her, she will wonder why you haven't made a move yet.
And right before she is about to give up on you, get closer, maybe a small compliment may help, and move in for the makeout session. After kissing for a little, if you are into it, and you notice she is (even remotely into it) just STOP. Find something else to seemingly occupy your attention for a short while. Go to the bathroom right quick. Talk about something else. Pick up a magizine and read it for a little.
Carefully notice how she responds to this. She is going to be confused, guys do not act like this! And before she actually gets frustrated or loses hope, move in again. She will LOVE the fact that you still want her. Do this in small steps, and she may be more and more into it every time, getting closer and closer to sexual intimacy. Girls LOVE being chased! If you show her that you can restrain yourself and you have other things on your mind besides sex, she will be confused and try to make you WANT HER.
This WORKS.
I thought he was a troll but this post is actually completely true
To all who say my advice is very general and ingoring some truths:
I edited my first post, asking posted questions to be more specific to my advice can be more situation-specific. I will continue answering questions now. Thank you.
On October 19 2009 10:18 arb wrote: ok real question , me and girl have been dating for like 2 weeks, ex bf comes in cock blocks me and she gets back together with him, how to reverse situation?
arb:
Put up no resistance. If she wants to fling back to her ex, you should just show how little effect it has on her life.
You don't really want to fuck around with this kind of situation. It's full of bad and likely outcomes: ex wants to fight you/ she comes back to you, just to go back to him, playing the get fucked back and forth game (I have been here)
Don't get emotionally attached to something that is likely to hurt you.
On October 19 2009 14:08 killanator wrote: Hey man i really think im in love wuith this girl. I cant even think about her seuxally, i just think about marrying her someday and living in la, sessioning as a keyboardist, having kids, having our ups and downs, and all. I would lay awake every night for hours thinking about her. and shes in a relationship with another guy. i felt like my soul was TORN out of my body. Anything reminds me of her, and i feel like a piece of dirt. So anyways last thursday, the day after I found out, I was completely out of my mind, ya know? and i called her up and told her that i had fallen in love with her. yes i know, wtf was i doing. but anyways now that im sort of back to my good old state of mind again wtf do i do about this. I saw her last night at a football game with him and i went and puked. I just tonight ate my first "meal" (1 bowl of soup) for 3 days. I cry every night, cant sleep, cant focus in school, cry for 2 hours every day at work. when i called her it was really awkward and then she asked me if she could call me back, reassured me she would, but still hasnt(which reeally just isnt even her...i dont understand) so anyways what do i do? I think im going to(if i see her at school tomorrow) tell her im really sorry and I was out of my mind and stuff. I dont know. Its just really all a big mess right now.
killanator:
You need to slow down there buddy and try to control your emotions.
Understand that emotions are (sadly) just a blend of substances released by your brain and organs in response to what you think about. UNDERSTAND that you can control what you think, and understand that emotions don't neccessarily have to do with reality.
It is perfectly normal for a man to feel a bit down when he sees an attractive woman with a man. This is so natural; Men value power and accusition (inluding of women), so if you failed at either, you are going to have a negative feeling.
How many women did you see today? Hundreds probably. You have a real life to live, and you definitely already screwed it up with that girl. There are many other women out there to have a connection with, so don't be sad. Get up and move on. Talk to other women.
It is very peculiar, how when I first started this thread many people flammed me, but now the same people are trying to give advice of their own.
I have tried to keep things here organized, seperating question from non-question, and it is very hard. If I have not already answered your question, please post it again, because I probably missed it. Likewise, as others have done, you can PM me for advice. Remember to be specific, and keep the questions coming.
Also, about men falling into the provider role... Women do it too, you ever heard the phrase 'sugar mama'? One of my friends who recently got outrageously obese started hitting on me, and try to lure me in like come have dinner at my place, etc. go figure
On October 19 2009 18:37 Johnny B wrote: I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my aunt has been cheating on my uncle with an old boyfriend for nearly a year (Uncle Jay* told me on September 28; Aunt Kathy had told him on August 10). When I talked with Kathy, she said he always put her last in his life--after his brothers, kids, and work--and that she felt like she never measured up. I'm pretty close with my cousins (three boys) who all want their mom to go back to their dad, or at least to quit her relationship with Rob (the old boyfriend) because it's adulterous. Jay, realizing what an inattentive husband he'd been, tried for those seven weeks to win Kathy back with love notes and 36 roses (one for each year they've been married), and doing chores around the house; she says he's just faking, and that after a while he'll just go back to being the same old Jay who gets home from work and takes a nap. Jay filed for divorce after Kathy told him she couldn't commit to him again. There's a mandatory two-month waiting period for divorce, so it won't be final until December 7. In my opinion, Kathy's pretty much making excuses not to go back to her husband because (she thinks) she's in love with Rob, and she feels loved when she's with him.
What advice would you give to Jay? To his kids? Is there anything Jay can do to win Kathy back, or should he just prepare for the legal action? I would appreciate responses from several posters--whoever is interested.
On October 19 2009 18:37 Johnny B wrote: I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my aunt has been cheating on my uncle with an old boyfriend for nearly a year (Uncle Jay* told me on September 28; Aunt Kathy had told him on August 10). When I talked with Kathy, she said he always put her last in his life--after his brothers, kids, and work--and that she felt like she never measured up. I'm pretty close with my cousins (three boys) who all want their mom to go back to their dad, or at least to quit her relationship with Rob (the old boyfriend) because it's adulterous. Jay, realizing what an inattentive husband he'd been, tried for those seven weeks to win Kathy back with love notes and 36 roses (one for each year they've been married), and doing chores around the house; she says he's just faking, and that after a while he'll just go back to being the same old Jay who gets home from work and takes a nap. Jay filed for divorce after Kathy told him she couldn't commit to him again. There's a mandatory two-month waiting period for divorce, so it won't be final until December 7. In my opinion, Kathy's pretty much making excuses not to go back to her husband because (she thinks) she's in love with Rob, and she feels loved when she's with him.
What advice would you give to Jay? To his kids? Is there anything Jay can do to win Kathy back, or should he just prepare for the legal action? I would appreciate responses from several posters--whoever is interested.
*names have been changed
Reposted as requested.
Johnny B:
This is my opinion. I think Jay should accept Kathy's decisions and prepare for the legal action. He is a man with kids, and he simply has other responsibilities more important than dealing with the woman who has done very unreasonable and inconsiderate(to her children) things out of emotion.
The legal action is the tricky part in this situation. Does Kathy want to keep the children? How old are they? If Jay is going to live with the children, then they are his biggest priority.
I think Jay should talk to the children, and let them know whats going on. Tell them that their mother has made decions that lead to a divorce, and Jay can't change her mind, although he would like to and has tried. Let the children know that Jay is strong and can handle this, for their sake.
On October 20 2009 02:32 iloveambiguity wrote: Also, about men falling into the provider role... Women do it too, you ever heard the phrase 'sugar mama'? One of my friends who recently got outrageously obese started hitting on me, and try to lure me in like come have dinner at my place, etc. go figure
iloveambiguity:
This is true also. A woman can forfill the providor role as she is trying to date a man. I find that this type tends to be much more emotional from past experiences. I just try my best to remain neutral, and show that I am not interested in her as a lover. I am currently going through something like this.
On October 20 2009 02:24 larjarse wrote: It is very peculiar, how when I first started this thread many people flammed me, but now the same people are trying to give advice of their own.
I have tried to keep things here organized, seperating question from non-question, and it is very hard. If I have not already answered your question, please post it again, because I probably missed it. Likewise, as others have done, you can PM me for advice. Remember to be specific, and keep the questions coming.
It IS very peculiar!! What could it possibly mean?!
fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
2. If there is some social contract that requires me to go out of my way and teach some guy the things he should have learned through interaction in middle/high school so he can get a girlfriend, then I am by no means going to subscribe to that. No amount of advice or help from friends will overcome your own inability to socialize with people.
3. Fuck it up for the rest of you? How am I fucking up anything for you? Or are you that guy that can't talk to others? Man up, get your balls to drop, and go get yourself a girlfriend. It's not hard.
lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
On October 20 2009 05:06 VioLat0R wrote: I know no one can give me any real help, but I don't know who to talk about this, so I will just vent here, more of a blog post really...
Anyway, about two years ago I met this amazing girl. Fell in love, but she didn't fell for me. She realized what was going on, I guess she had been down that road as well. She was also thinking about leaving the city for a while. To protect me, she decided to end before I got hurt too badly. Obviously, I got hurt pretty bad.
I got very depressed, but this helped me a lot. I made some life changing decisions, dropped my career, made huge changes. She moved to another state in the beginning of the 2008. Still, I never stopped thinking about her.
A few weeks ago, we start talking again online. She is a journalist, and she's frustrated with where her career is at. We talked, I tried to help her, give her some advice. I ended up telling her all about how I still love her. She didn't freak out...
Two days ago, I met another girl. We watched "Inglorious Bastards" on Saturday, had lunch on Sunday and spent the rest of the day together. She is absolutely great, it was the best weekend I had in a long time.
I get home on Sunday night, turn on my computer and there's a message from the first girl, asking me to give her a call, that she has news that I will like. We talk, and turns out she's thinking about leaving it all behind, and coming back here. Not just thinking, planning already. She is really coming. She will come for a few days in December.
Fuck.
The timing of all of this is ridiculous. I don't know what to do. I want my shot with her so bad. But I might be fooling myself. I think we would be great together, but would we really? And there's this other girl, amazing girl. Do I just put her on hold? That's just fucking wrong.
I told the first girl about the second, I can't lie or withhold information, it's just not in me... We are talking about it right now. I could never imagine myself feeling like this. I'm so bad with women, but somehow I managed to meet this two incredible girls... I just got lucky, really. But now what?
I'm thinking about coming clear to the second girl. I think she would understand, but I would be really hurting her, I know she liked me too, and she hasn't been with anyone in over a year. I just don't want to hurt her. And I might be hurting her for an illusion of love, losing something real for something that I don't know if it's even there...
Why did this have to happen in the same day? I can't believe the timing...
Anyway, as I said, I don't think anyone can help me... But if any of you ever been here, I would like to hear what you did and how it turned out.
I have been in a somewhat similar situation, so I'll give you honest advice this time around.
1. Being depressed over a girl and loving her for years without any contact with her... That's something you shouldn't do in the future unless it's your wife or something. Seriously, there are other options out there.
2. Her visiting you has no effect on whatever relationship might be blossoming with the girl you went to the movies with. Keep in mind that you haven't seen her or talked to her in a long time - you are almost strangers to each other now and there is no point preparing yourself to invest your soul into her without getting to know her again and weighing your options. Keep ANY feelings you had for her in the past, IN THE PAST. This is NOW, and you have options now. She is no longer the only woman in your life. This will be your source of strength. So, let her visit. If your new girl asks, tell her it's an old friend - which is TRUE. Of course, you can't do anything sexual with her if you're a decent person.
3. Just because she's coming to visit doesn't mean that you can have a healthy relationship with her. She will probably still live away from you for a while even if you are both interested. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by breaking ties with your current girl just because of some 2 year old pipedream relationship that may or not may not happen. Right now, the girl closest to you physically is your #1 priority.
4. If down the line you do make the decision to choose the girl who is visiting over the girl you are with now, that's what you will have to do - just move on. You can't have a relationship without mutual feelings, and if you have feelings for another (and you are SURE that they are REAL, this time), then that's all you can say and yea it might come off negatively but it's the truth and that's life.
Just don't do anything stupid or overly emotional and everything will be fine.
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
Wait.. you just described the stereotypical frat guy.. and then proceeded to say that the stereotypical frat guy has clear perspective on his life. This "clear perspective" being what? The acceptance of his own stupidity? I'm all for sovereignty and you can do whatever you'd please if all parties are mutual, but don't try to attach some higher meaning to it, please. Fucking around is fucking around.
Check out some of their DVDs(Also around as MP3s):
Transformations(I recommend watching this) Flawless Natural The Jeffy Show The Blueprint(shit this is long)
All can be found by torrent.
Picking up girls is like training any skillset. It takes time to master, and just sitting at home and reading is just gonna get you a bunch of knowledge, you won't start improving until you actually go out and practice it.
Btw, fanatacist is right on the money. You get em boy.
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
Humanity would be self-sufficient and unimpeded by foolish shortcomings such as social awkwardness, loneliness, and pathetic 15-year-old emo kids crying over their ex-girlfriend who was "the only girl he will ever love." Oh, so your post wasn't relevant to the subject? Then PM me, that's what it's there for. Or are you trying to publicly out me, so that I feel ashamed for my words and actions? You can try, but frankly you sound like a drunk bum at a political rally blabbering about his asinine thoughts.
Thanks for asking, sorry but answer is no. Once again you should have PMed me about this, since I have done neither in this thread, but I guess your pretentious holier-than-thou attitude couldn't pass the opportunity to do it in public. Yeaaa man I am SO cool that I thought my life was pointless and that I admitted I ruined everything that was valuable to me in my life. Do you even read the things you aspire to judge me for? Go back and read the comments in the blog I think you are referring to, and then come back to me and tell me that it's all an ego-growing experience for me. Actually, I doubt you can comprehend anything besides "LOOK HE SAID HE FUCKED A GIRL THAT MEANS HE IS INFLATING HIS EPENIS LOLOL," thereby effectively ignoring any personal thoughts I put in the issue. You're an ignorant fuck, please go crawl back into whatever primitive uneducated shithole you came from.
Calling me an immature brat when you are the one targetting me in this thread for no reason, as well as saying things like "n eww" ... Oh I see. I think I have to apologize in advance, because if you have any mental handicaps that I should have known about, I didn't realize you had them until now. Go back to your mommy so she can tell you the world is all nice and friendly and give you a cookie for your crayon drawing.
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
Wait.. you just described the stereotypical frat guy.. and then proceeded to say that the stereotypical frat guy has clear perspective on his life. This "clear perspective" being what? The acceptance of his own stupidity? I'm all for sovereignty and you can do whatever you'd please if all parties are mutual, but don't try to attach some higher meaning to it, please. Fucking around is fucking around.
So, every guy that drinks at parties and has sex is a "frat guy"? Lol.
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
Wait.. you just described the stereotypical frat guy.. and then proceeded to say that the stereotypical frat guy has clear perspective on his life. This "clear perspective" being what? The acceptance of his own stupidity? I'm all for sovereignty and you can do whatever you'd please if all parties are mutual, but don't try to attach some higher meaning to it, please. Fucking around is fucking around.
So, every guy that drinks at parties and has sex is a "frat guy"? Lol.
If that's the order of events every time, and it's simplified, then yes. I've seen it for years.
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
Wait.. you just described the stereotypical frat guy.. and then proceeded to say that the stereotypical frat guy has clear perspective on his life. This "clear perspective" being what? The acceptance of his own stupidity? I'm all for sovereignty and you can do whatever you'd please if all parties are mutual, but don't try to attach some higher meaning to it, please. Fucking around is fucking around.
So, every guy that drinks at parties and has sex is a "frat guy"? Lol.
If that's the order of events every time, and it's simplified, then yes. I've seen it for years.
Hmm, did I say that it's every time? Every day?
Even if that was the case, literally every guy is a "frat guy"? Living in a college house with brothers, harassing pledgers, wearing popped collar shirts and fucking any female attainable?
1. Frat guys are not all like that. I would say far from the majority. 2. Not all people who to parties and have sex with women at parties are frat guys. Not all people who do that are pathetic trust fund babies sent* to college to fail their first 3 semesters out of their parents' checkbook.
Stop stereotyping, it weakens your non-existent argument.
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
Humanity would be self-sufficient and unimpeded by foolish shortcomings such as social awkwardness, loneliness, and pathetic 15-year-old emo kids crying over their ex-girlfriend who was "the only girl he will ever love." Oh, so your post wasn't relevant to the subject? Then PM me, that's what it's there for. Or are you trying to publicly out me, so that I feel ashamed for my words and actions? You can try, but frankly you sound like a drunk bum at a political rally blabbering about his asinine thoughts.
Thanks for asking, sorry but answer is no. Once again you should have PMed me about this, since I have done neither in this thread, but I guess your pretentious holier-than-thou attitude couldn't pass the opportunity to do it in public. Yeaaa man I am SO cool that I thought my life was pointless and that I admitted I ruined everything that was valuable to me in my life. Do you even read the things you aspire to judge me for? Go back and read the comments in the blog I think you are referring to, and then come back to me and tell me that it's all an ego-growing experience for me. Actually, I doubt you can comprehend anything besides "LOOK HE SAID HE FUCKED A GIRL THAT MEANS HE IS INFLATING HIS EPENIS LOLOL," thereby effectively ignoring any personal thoughts I put in the issue. You're an ignorant fuck, please go crawl back into whatever primitive uneducated shithole you came from.
Calling me an immature brat when you are the one targetting me in this thread for no reason, as well as saying things like "n eww" ... Oh I see. I think I have to apologize in advance, because if you have any mental handicaps that I should have known about, I didn't realize you had them until now. Go back to your mommy so she can tell you the world is all nice and friendly and give you a cookie for your crayon drawing.
I see you are well versed in yapping out insults, stroking your own ego, and prowling the streets to get high and fuck sluts. l like to maintain that being human is much more than that. In some ways, I do feel sorry for you.
BTW, PM me if you get worked up and feel the need to continue our cordial correspondence. Clearly, more important things are going on this thread.
Check out some of their DVDs(Also around as MP3s):
Transformations(I recommend watching this) Flawless Natural The Jeffy Show The Blueprint(shit this is long)
All can be found by torrent.
Picking up girls is like training any skillset. It takes time to master, and just sitting at home and reading is just gonna get you a bunch of knowledge, you won't start improving until you actually go out and practice it.
Btw, fanatacist is right on the money. You get em boy.
RSD fuck yeah! Tyler Durden for president. Seriously.
I finished Foundations, and I am into the Transformations now. I think half of it is left. Then I wanna get into Blueprint.
Besides RSD I recommend ANY David Deangelo DVD, MP3 or e-book.
The key is, social skills and meeting women is just a skillset, just like any other. Can be learnt. But many people romanticize the concept of sexuality, they are waiting for the Real Love, relying on luck without skills. In the end they won't get what they want that way. This kind of guys would get surprised that what kind of tactics and strategies women use. Men are generally far less skilled compared to women who talk a lot and socially more active so to say. While guys were playing in the sandbox in the kindergarten, girls were playing with dolls and they told stories and stuff. Men also got to make up their disadvantage at this field.
Many guys think "i am not a cool type you know" "girls dont like me", like this is destined to be like that. BS.
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
I think I might have fallen in love ~~
phosstuff I think you are a bit underdeveloped and your ideas don't match reality. I mean, fanaticist didn't write anything what could be labeled "wrong" by its content.
Though he has some strange thinking about the evolution of fishes
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
I think I might have fallen in love ~~
phosstuff I think you are a bit underdeveloped and your ideas don't match reality. I mean, fanaticist didn't write anything what could be labeled "wrong" by its content.
Though he has some strange thinking about the evolution of fishes
I am not entirely sure how you came to the conclusion that I am "underdeveloped" from my, admitedly quite short post ~~
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
Humanity would be self-sufficient and unimpeded by foolish shortcomings such as social awkwardness, loneliness, and pathetic 15-year-old emo kids crying over their ex-girlfriend who was "the only girl he will ever love." Oh, so your post wasn't relevant to the subject? Then PM me, that's what it's there for. Or are you trying to publicly out me, so that I feel ashamed for my words and actions? You can try, but frankly you sound like a drunk bum at a political rally blabbering about his asinine thoughts.
Thanks for asking, sorry but answer is no. Once again you should have PMed me about this, since I have done neither in this thread, but I guess your pretentious holier-than-thou attitude couldn't pass the opportunity to do it in public. Yeaaa man I am SO cool that I thought my life was pointless and that I admitted I ruined everything that was valuable to me in my life. Do you even read the things you aspire to judge me for? Go back and read the comments in the blog I think you are referring to, and then come back to me and tell me that it's all an ego-growing experience for me. Actually, I doubt you can comprehend anything besides "LOOK HE SAID HE FUCKED A GIRL THAT MEANS HE IS INFLATING HIS EPENIS LOLOL," thereby effectively ignoring any personal thoughts I put in the issue. You're an ignorant fuck, please go crawl back into whatever primitive uneducated shithole you came from.
Calling me an immature brat when you are the one targetting me in this thread for no reason, as well as saying things like "n eww" ... Oh I see. I think I have to apologize in advance, because if you have any mental handicaps that I should have known about, I didn't realize you had them until now. Go back to your mommy so she can tell you the world is all nice and friendly and give you a cookie for your crayon drawing.
I see you are well versed in yapping out insults, stroking your own ego, and prowling the streets to get high and fuck sluts. l like to maintain that being human is much more than that. In some ways, I do feel sorry for you.
BTW, PM me if you get worked up and feel the need to continue our cordial correspondence. Clearly, more important things are going on this thread.
I see you are well-versed in being an ignorant jackass. BTW, feel free to never talk to me again because nothing you said has any value or relevance to anything I've said or done. Good bye!
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
I think I might have fallen in love ~~
phosstuff I think you are a bit underdeveloped and your ideas don't match reality. I mean, fanaticist didn't write anything what could be labeled "wrong" by its content.
Though he has some strange thinking about the evolution of fishes
I am not entirely sure how you came to the conclusion that I am "underdeveloped" from my, admitedly quite short post ~~
He said "phosstuff", hence referring to phosphorylation, you bandwagonning hater. If you have something to say to me, say it to my face, don't be a pussy and wait for a pathetic excuse of a confrontation with a person who can't seem to structure sentences to jump in.
I currently don't have much time to give advice, but I will say this:
To recent posters of this thread and forum moderators-
Due to the bad mannered recent posts in this thread, I have updated the initial post. Please read it, and then (for non moderators) read the TL.net commandments before considering posting again on this thread.
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
2. If there is some social contract that requires me to go out of my way and teach some guy the things he should have learned through interaction in middle/high school so he can get a girlfriend, then I am by no means going to subscribe to that. No amount of advice or help from friends will overcome your own inability to socialize with people.
3. Fuck it up for the rest of you? How am I fucking up anything for you? Or are you that guy that can't talk to others? Man up, get your balls to drop, and go get yourself a girlfriend. It's not hard.
Stop crying on my shoulder please.
This is the kind of tone that gets you banned man -.- stop ruining it for yourself. Why are you even having this discusion, there really isent gonna come anything good out of it.
fana, Why don't you take your own suggestion and use PM? Obviously, I cannot say all that I have said based just on what fanaticist has said on this particular thread; it is an opinion formed based from his other past posts and blogs -- in that regard, i apologize for (unintentionally) derailing the thread
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
I think I might have fallen in love ~~
phosstuff I think you are a bit underdeveloped and your ideas don't match reality. I mean, fanaticist didn't write anything what could be labeled "wrong" by its content.
Though he has some strange thinking about the evolution of fishes
I am not entirely sure how you came to the conclusion that I am "underdeveloped" from my, admitedly quite short post ~~
He said "phosstuff", hence referring to phosphorylation, you bandwagonning hater. If you have something to say to me, say it to my face, don't be a pussy and wait for a pathetic excuse of a confrontation with a person who can't seem to structure sentences to jump in.
I obviously can't say anything to your "face" unless you care to cross the atlantic, so the manner in which I voice my support for the phosfo guy seems quite irrelevant. But yeah I do agree with him, your general attitude on these forums are quite detestable, at least to me =p Good night for the moment
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
2. If there is some social contract that requires me to go out of my way and teach some guy the things he should have learned through interaction in middle/high school so he can get a girlfriend, then I am by no means going to subscribe to that. No amount of advice or help from friends will overcome your own inability to socialize with people.
3. Fuck it up for the rest of you? How am I fucking up anything for you? Or are you that guy that can't talk to others? Man up, get your balls to drop, and go get yourself a girlfriend. It's not hard.
Stop crying on my shoulder please.
This is the kind of tone that gets you banned man -.- stop ruining it for yourself. Why are you even having this discusion, there really isent gonna come anything good out of it.
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
I think I might have fallen in love ~~
phosstuff I think you are a bit underdeveloped and your ideas don't match reality. I mean, fanaticist didn't write anything what could be labeled "wrong" by its content.
Though he has some strange thinking about the evolution of fishes
I am not entirely sure how you came to the conclusion that I am "underdeveloped" from my, admitedly quite short post ~~
He said "phosstuff", hence referring to phosphorylation, you bandwagonning hater. If you have something to say to me, say it to my face, don't be a pussy and wait for a pathetic excuse of a confrontation with a person who can't seem to structure sentences to jump in.
I obviously can't say anything to your "face" unless you care to cross the atlantic, so the manner in which I voice my support for the phosfo guy seems quite irrelevant. But yeah I do agree with him, your general attitude on these forums are quite detestable, at least to me =p Good night for the moment
Make it a PM not a post in a thread that is irrelevant to this issue.
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
2. If there is some social contract that requires me to go out of my way and teach some guy the things he should have learned through interaction in middle/high school so he can get a girlfriend, then I am by no means going to subscribe to that. No amount of advice or help from friends will overcome your own inability to socialize with people.
3. Fuck it up for the rest of you? How am I fucking up anything for you? Or are you that guy that can't talk to others? Man up, get your balls to drop, and go get yourself a girlfriend. It's not hard.
Stop crying on my shoulder please.
This is the kind of tone that gets you banned man -.- stop ruining it for yourself. Why are you even having this discusion, there really isent gonna come anything good out of it.
I have a secret agenda, PM me if you want to find out.
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
On October 20 2009 05:12 phosphorylation wrote: lol! the point was that i didnt want MORE of you than there is...humanity would be utterly hopeless if everyone were like you and my comment is directed towards your previous posts and your general persona on this forum, not this particular thread...you should have known that of course
all i am asking of you is to not spread your bullshit to other people..and not to brandish your escapades and general irresponsibility as if they make you appear "cool" and "bad ass"....at least not on an internet forum about starcraft how much of a ego-whore are you, seriously?
way to make 100x assumptions about me...i thought you were at least somewhat clever at times, but your recent posts make me think you are just an immature brat
n eww fuck your shoulder
I think I might have fallen in love ~~
phosstuff I think you are a bit underdeveloped and your ideas don't match reality. I mean, fanaticist didn't write anything what could be labeled "wrong" by its content.
Though he has some strange thinking about the evolution of fishes
I am not entirely sure how you came to the conclusion that I am "underdeveloped" from my, admitedly quite short post ~~
He said "phosstuff", hence referring to phosphorylation, you bandwagonning hater. If you have something to say to me, say it to my face, don't be a pussy and wait for a pathetic excuse of a confrontation with a person who can't seem to structure sentences to jump in.
I obviously can't say anything to your "face" unless you care to cross the atlantic, so the manner in which I voice my support for the phosfo guy seems quite irrelevant. But yeah I do agree with him, your general attitude on these forums are quite detestable, at least to me =p Good night for the moment
Make it a PM not a post in a thread that is irrelevant to this issue.
Seriously, the premise of this thread had potential. Certainly, there are more pressing needs than our meaningless bickering -- these people need dating advice, for chrissakes!
BTW, make it a PM not a post in a thread that is irrelevant to this issue, mm ya? LOL
Sorry LarJarsE, I really didn't intend to muck up the thread; I will STFU until I have something to contribute to the thread's original premise. I suggest that somebody else does the same.
Well now that this topic has been muckraked for now, I have time for some advice.
If you have requested advice that I have yet to respond to, please repost it, or even better PM me. Otherwise, please post new questions on this topic, as I would like others to be able to contribute as well.
No PMing please, keep up feeding the beast. You can't get into any trouble by posting here, worst case you become a meme in the next few years of TL history. But seriously, if you don't just PM the op you get more advice.
This thread reminds me of how MrHoon described Korean messageboards. A legion of trolls trolling each other waiting for one of them to fall, then altogether gang raping that one.
On October 20 2009 07:57 TheAntZ wrote: This thread reminds me of how MrHoon described Korean messageboards. A legion of trolls trolling each other waiting for one of them to fall, then altogether gang raping that one.
LOL that was one of the best quotes on this site haha.
On June 25 2009 02:43 MrHoon wrote: To understand how an average day is on a Korean Progaming website is... Imagine if there were thousands and thousands of Hot_Bids, Incontrol's and Rekruls constantly trolling each other for 24/7 trying to see who falls first onto the ground so they can gangrape them.
On October 20 2009 04:50 phosphorylation wrote: fanaticist, i surely hope there is no more of your kind in the world; please dont spread your lecherous, narcissistic, egotistic bullshit ...clearly you are not a believer of social contract and altruism (id est things that distinguish humans from animals); but don't fuck it up for the rest of us
1. There are plenty more of my kind. They are the ones that go to parties, drink alcohol, have sex, go home and sleep while you are frustrated asking moral and pathos-based questions about why some girl dumped you. They are the ones that have a clear perspective on what's important in their life while you remain butthurt about some guy saying some thing on some forum.
Wait.. you just described the stereotypical frat guy.. and then proceeded to say that the stereotypical frat guy has clear perspective on his life. This "clear perspective" being what? The acceptance of his own stupidity? I'm all for sovereignty and you can do whatever you'd please if all parties are mutual, but don't try to attach some higher meaning to it, please. Fucking around is fucking around.
So, every guy that drinks at parties and has sex is a "frat guy"? Lol.
If that's the order of events every time, and it's simplified, then yes. I've seen it for years.
Hmm, did I say that it's every time? Every day?
Even if that was the case, literally every guy is a "frat guy"? Living in a college house with brothers, harassing pledgers, wearing popped collar shirts and fucking any female attainable?
1. Frat guys are not all like that. I would say far from the majority. 2. Not all people who to parties and have sex with women at parties are frat guys. Not all people who do that are pathetic trust fund babies sent* to college to fail their first 3 semesters out of their parents' checkbook.
Stop stereotyping, it weakens your non-existent argument.
First of all, I didn't say literally (although I knew you'd assume that), secondly, the majority IS like that, at least at all of the frats here, and saying that they are "pathetic trust fund babies" is a stereotype in itself and is actually more untrue than them sleeping around often.
My "non-existent argument" is simply that attaching an accentuated stature to people who fuck around is ridiculous, which yes, you alluded to (clear perspective on life). While it's a carefree and easy way to live, do we equate this ease with high standards or something? I agree that the world is becoming more and more mediocre and the standards ARE slowly lowering, but it is what it is at the present. I HOPE it doesn't become the norm.
(there are plenty of issues I could go into as why a "fucking-around" lifestyle causes a lot of general problems, a few which are blatantly obvious)
edit: If you want to continue (which doesn't seem very necessary) then you should PM me. This is definitely irrelevant and menial.
I am going to have this thread deleted, and start another (when I am not at work). I have PMed forum mods. In the meantime, I am still accepting requests for advice, despite tose still loading this thread with shit, who are immature and don't know how to read.
Arguing on a forum is incredibly stupid. Learn a lesson from these ill mannered posters.
On October 20 2009 08:56 larjarse wrote: I am going to have this thread, and start another. I have PMed forum mods. In the meantime, I am still accepting requests for advice, despite tose still loading this thread with shit, who are immature and don't know how to read.
Arguing on a forum is incredibly stupid. Learn a lesson from these ill mannered posters.
While I agree with your actions and the fact that this thread isn't for arguing, how can you say that forums aren't for debate? (albeit not irrelevant or pointless ones)?
On October 20 2009 08:56 larjarse wrote: I am going to have this thread, and start another. I have PMed forum mods. In the meantime, I am still accepting requests for advice, despite tose still loading this thread with shit, who are immature and don't know how to read.
Arguing on a forum is incredibly stupid. Learn a lesson from these ill mannered posters.
On October 20 2009 08:56 larjarse wrote: I am going to have this thread, and start another. I have PMed forum mods. In the meantime, I am still accepting requests for advice, despite tose still loading this thread with shit, who are immature and don't know how to read.
Arguing on a forum is incredibly stupid. Learn a lesson from these ill mannered posters.
While I agree with your actions and the fact that this thread isn't for arguing, how can you say that forums aren't for debate? (albeit not irrelevant or pointless ones)?
This is the last post I will make unrelated to advice.
A forum is a good place for discussion, not arguing. It is so pointless to argue (especially over the internet, and ESPECIALLY in a thread meant to be helpful and fun) about OPINIONS.
State your opinion, agree or disagree with others. Give reasonable explanations. Stop wasting your time typing several paragraphs to ARGUE and FLAME with others. I meant for this to be a constructive and useful environment where people can learn.
On October 20 2009 08:56 larjarse wrote: I am going to have this thread, and start another. I have PMed forum mods. In the meantime, I am still accepting requests for advice, despite tose still loading this thread with shit, who are immature and don't know how to read.
Arguing on a forum is incredibly stupid. Learn a lesson from these ill mannered posters.
While I agree with your actions and the fact that this thread isn't for arguing, how can you say that forums aren't for debate? (albeit not irrelevant or pointless ones)?
This is the last post I will make unrelated to advice.
A forum is a good place for discussion, not arguing. It is so pointless to argue (especially over the internet, and ESPECIALLY in a thread meant to be helpful and fun) about OPINIONS.
State your opinion, agree or disagree with others. Give reasonable explanations. Stop wasting your time typing several paragraphs to ARGUE and FLAME with others. I meant for this to be a constructive and useful environment where people can learn.
You also named the thread after you which kinda ruined the tone. We appreciate what you are offering but you haven't gone about presenting it in the best manner.
I made the thread what it is. I offered advice from my knowledge and experiences. I never said anyone HAD to come to me for advice, but people are, and I am giving advice as requested. The only problem is people filling the topic with posts that do not contribute to the subject.
On October 19 2009 19:02 ThunderGod wrote: Personally I have no problems interacting with girls who I just want to be friends with (i.e. no attraction). But whenever I'm around girls I find really hot I tend to close up and become an 'observer' - i.e., watch them interact with their friends etc. to try and figure out how they tick and what I can do to make them like me. As a result I never really make a move on girls I like or I give a bad first impression (e.g., quiet shy type). I know this is pretty irrational but it's hard to overcome, I've only done it once through stomach-turning courage. Every other time I chicken out cos it seems like it would be really corny and not who I am to approach them with fake conversation starters and/or act like a douche. I find it difficult lying to people I don't know.
Thundergod:
I used to have such approach anxiety, but it can be overcame. Attractive women are normal people like you and I, but they are used to being approached and complimented, so they know they are attractive.
If you see an attractive woman and you can manage to approach her without seeming threatening, then why the hell not? Just act like she is a regular person, like one of your friends. You cannot make women think anything, so don't worry about how she is going to respond. If she responds positivitely and shows interest, then great! If she doesn't want to talk or seems very awkward about it, don't sweat it. You should feel good that you tried, and you understand that there are a million other women out there, so there's no need to sweat it.
Don't feel corny or douchy, because you are just talking to her. Just don't approach her with a "pickup line". Try to feel more laid back, and just believe that you are confident, even if you are not. You will see astounding results and feel good about yourself.
ok, so when I see a really hot girl I don't know, I can usually approach her fine. But I always end up saying something lame like hi or "did you see the pats game?" :p any magic topic that works for you
On October 20 2009 09:35 mptj wrote: ok, so when I see a really hot girl I don't know, I can usually approach her fine. But I always end up saying something lame like hi or "did you see the pats game?" :p any magic topic that works for you
Well there really is no "magic topic". It all depends on the what type of girl she seems, and the environment, you really have to figure it out. The best way to do that is to try it out, and often.
"Hi, I have kind of a random question. Do you read girl magazines? You know, like cosmo.
Do you read any of the advice they give? Like what?"
Be creative and be on you toes at all times. Don't forget to tell her your name and to look her in her eyes with a grin.
On October 20 2009 09:35 mptj wrote: ok, so when I see a really hot girl I don't know, I can usually approach her fine. But I always end up saying something lame like hi or "did you see the pats game?" :p any magic topic that works for you
Larjarse's answer is pretty accurate if you want to go down the path of suggesting a topic (examine the subject, then deduce her interests based on appearance). However, this sometimes backfires, as books can sometimes not be judged by their covers. Although there are lots of interesting things you can say, a lot of the time you can get away with something that just breaks the ice like "Hey, have you seen my phone?" This is really bland, and most people walk away after receiving a negative answer - that's her expectation. The first step is to break expectations - say something like "are you sure? I was sitting/standing right there/walking through this area like 10 seconds ago. empty your pockets, I don't trust you." It's risky, but a good-humored girl will usually comply. When she shows you what she has, you can work from her belongings ("I had this keychain but I lost it when I was running from an angry band of middleschoolers" or something equally ridiculous). Breaking expectations with humorous scenarios is interesting conversation. Backstories are required, but you don't have to present them - keep her guessing. Most important thing is to make it seem like you don't notice that she is hot and this is an accidental meeting. If you get rejected or a disinterested response, try again with someone else - she's just a humorless bitch who is into muscles, jocks, and soap operas, probably not worth your time.
On October 20 2009 09:35 mptj wrote: ok, so when I see a really hot girl I don't know, I can usually approach her fine. But I always end up saying something lame like hi or "did you see the pats game?" :p any magic topic that works for you
Conversation is a skill that can be learned. Practice it! Ask questions in a way that isn't forced --- "So how was the quiz for you?" "What are you up to this weekend?" "How do you know the host?", etc etc. It doesn't really matter what the question is as long as the answer isn't yes/no (conversation killer), because if the person is someone who's open to being approached, they'll be friendly, and if not, it doesn't matter what you say in the first place. If you listen and pay attention to what your interlocutor is saying (make eye contact) they will notice that and (hopefully) warm to you.
I smile a lot when I talk to people (guys and girls) because I think of something I genuinely like about them, and people notice that too. Speaking of which, compliments are nice if they're sincere and not extravagant. (There are some things people are not comfortable being complimented on, obviously).
Conversation can be practiced with anyone, guys and girls. Flirting is a related skill and you may or may not want to be more selective about who you flirt with. I think I'm a good conversationalist but not a terribly good flirt, so take my advice with a grain of salt if you want.
KEEP HER GUESSING, DON'T REVEAL YOUR TRUE INTENTIONS ACT LIKE YOU DON'T CARE MAKE HER WAIT MAKE HER BEG AND KNEEL IF SHE REJECTS YOU SHE IS STUPID! FUCK THE ONLY THING I CAN DEDUCT FROM THIS INCREDIBLY RETARDED TOPIC IS THAT YOU'RE ALL INSECURE AND MANIPULATIVE BASTARDS
thanks to all 3 of you for your advice. But ty to Djabanete in partiucal(no offense to fan and lars, great advice!) but yours seems more in perspective, idk lol :D. I love this thread btw
On October 20 2009 10:15 mptj wrote: thanks to all 3 of you for your advice. But ty to Djabanete in partiucal(no offense to fan and lars, great advice!) but yours seems more in perspective, idk lol :D. I love this thread btw
Thank you for the feedback. This shows this thread is a success. He got advice from three different people.
On October 20 2009 10:50 NeverGG wrote: Any tips on how to woo ForGG? I have tried undressing him, with promising results. (Twice.)
What the...If that was a serious question, then I guess you could try asking him who his favorite female celebrities are, or what kind of American movies he likes? Then, after you get past the awkward part, you can just start popping in random questions until the big closer.
On October 20 2009 10:50 NeverGG wrote: Any tips on how to woo ForGG? I have tried undressing him, with promising results. (Twice.)
Try undressing yourself at the same time? Otherwise he might feel, you know, awkward...
In case that was a serious question: definitely try to take him elsewhere than the professional sphere. Not only can it put him in a difficult position if you hit on him during a shoot (he can't get away or really say anything if the advances aren't wanted --- no offense, I'm just saying it's possible), but you might have a better chance of getting him in a more intimate setting!
Update: I told her that she inspires me to become a better person. She was blushing and smiling ear to ear... I also told her that I tried too hard exactly because I wanted to impress her so much. At the end of the day, every girl is different i guess, even if general strategies work, the most important thing is to be open and sincere with your emotions towards her... that is my 2 cents.
what's your relationship history? with advice like this, i would imagine that you're happily married with kids and such or along that path. is that how it's like for you?
On October 20 2009 14:02 29 fps wrote: what's your relationship history? with advice like this, i would imagine that you're happily married with kids and such or along that path. is that how it's like for you?
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
uhh, reply with dead-enders? like "oh okay" or "thats cool" or laugh a little then make a quick solid excuse... just my 2 cents :3
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
I honestly think being honest is the most respectful way (although not the most sensitive) to tell someone that you're not interested. Tell them that you want to talk about something else, or that you don't really like the line of conversation you are on in general. If they get offended, that's their fault - there is no necessity for you to have to endure their endless droning.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
like iceystorage said, use dead enders: uhhhh ok, yeah, ok
don't look them in the eyes much, look around them a lot, so you look like you're in a hurry (and try to suggest so) and not interested in talking. position your body towards the side, not towards them (foots not pointing to them). try to get your friends involved so you can escape more easily.
generally everything opposite from what has been said. xD
but what sometimes happens to me is I'm being too nice so they don't get the message even if I do the above things, so then just use fanatacist's direct aproach, even though they might get a bit offended.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
like iceystorage said, use dead enders: uhhhh ok, yeah, ok
don't look them in the eyes much, look around them a lot, so you look like you're in a hurry (and try to suggest so) and not interested in talking. position your body towards the side, not towards them (foots not pointing to them). try to get your friends involved so you can escape more easily.
generally everything opposite from what has been said. xD
but what sometimes happens to me is I'm being too nice so they don't get the message even if I do the above things, so then just use fanatacist's direct aproach, even though they might get a bit offended.
Or you could just walk away right after that finish the first sentence? Say you got to go to the bathroom? It's not customer service just walk away from it lol.
Honestly I love how so many questions and most of them deal with being too scared to do something or scared of what the girl might think. Just learn not care of the results and damn go for it. Grow a pair while your at it also?
Only advice you need instead of this stuff sounds like straight from magazine or a book they make because they know you will buy it in desperate need.
On October 21 2009 00:56 -StrifeX- wrote: Honestly I love how so many questions and most of them deal with being too scared to do something or scared of what the girl might think. Just learn not care of the results and damn go for it. Grow a pair while your at it also?
Only advice you need instead of this stuff sounds like straight from magazine or a book they make because they know you will buy it in desperate need.
100% agree. You don't have to be a fratboy or amoral to get a girl alone. No, it's all about having some balls. You might be the most beautiful/interesting/smartest person in the world, but if you don't ask, you won't get shit.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
like iceystorage said, use dead enders: uhhhh ok, yeah, ok
don't look them in the eyes much, look around them a lot, so you look like you're in a hurry (and try to suggest so) and not interested in talking. position your body towards the side, not towards them (foots not pointing to them). try to get your friends involved so you can escape more easily.
generally everything opposite from what has been said. xD
but what sometimes happens to me is I'm being too nice so they don't get the message even if I do the above things, so then just use fanatacist's direct aproach, even though they might get a bit offended.
Wishful thinking on the guy's part will make it very easy for him to misinterpret more subtle approaches. Plus some very shy/introverted girls just talk like that even if they enjoy your company and only warm up after a few minutes when they are more comfortable with you. If you are really not interested, the direct approach is by far the best one. Remember that it's possible to be both unambiguous and tactful.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
yooh:
Deny them signs of interest. Look at them in the eye as little as possible, don't face them when they speak to you, speak to them with a closed stance, crossed arms. Don't smile when they speak to you.
If they are really persistant, simply say "Can you please leave me alone?"
If they dont take THAT hint, then their presence is threatening, and I suggest telling someone.
On October 20 2009 14:02 29 fps wrote: what's your relationship history? with advice like this, i would imagine that you're happily married with kids and such or along that path. is that how it's like for you?
fps:
Are you asking me? If you would like to know something about me please PM me. However, I am not going to tell you my life story.
On October 20 2009 10:20 Manifesto7 wrote: How does having an oversized derrière affect one's chances of success?
Manifesto7:
Are you speaking about a woman or a man? Some women are attracted to men's butts, but some just aren't. It's all about their taste.
A lot of guys in this country have wash board butts. It's really different after living in England. Whenever I happen to spot (I'm not looking really!) a guy with a booty I always get a surprise. I'm apparently quite popular with married ajjushis because of my behind -_-;; Especially taxi drivers.
On October 20 2009 10:11 Shauni wrote: KEEP HER GUESSING, DON'T REVEAL YOUR TRUE INTENTIONS ACT LIKE YOU DON'T CARE MAKE HER WAIT MAKE HER BEG AND KNEEL IF SHE REJECTS YOU SHE IS STUPID! FUCK THE ONLY THING I CAN DEDUCT FROM THIS INCREDIBLY RETARDED TOPIC IS THAT YOU'RE ALL INSECURE AND MANIPULATIVE BASTARDS
IT HAD TO BE SAID
Give it a chance? See how women actually react to it?
You have to demonstrate you'd be a good lover. You don't do this by telling her, you do this by showing her. You show her you're a confident partner, but tell her you're not interested. You have to be difficult because in this day and age women have so many choices they have to figure out how to separate pussies from the real deal. This isn't manipulative, this is the language you have to speak.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
On October 20 2009 14:02 29 fps wrote: what's your relationship history? with advice like this, i would imagine that you're happily married with kids and such or along that path. is that how it's like for you?
fps:
Are you asking me? If you would like to know something about me please PM me. However, I am not going to tell you my life story.
just your current status is fine. i'm sure that others out there are also curious.
Why cant you just take this thread for what it is? Ask a question and get an answer relative to the seriousness of your question? Or are you just so afraid of the fact that there might be someone who knows stuff you don't?
Mabye it is all a very smart scheme. You all accuse him of trolling but seing his replies through this thread the only people fooled into trolling here are you guys.
Edit: With that im actually going to try you out LarJarsE. I have a girlfriend who is very sweet and cute, but whenever we end up in a social environment with other people, specifically my friends and family, she gets very restrained and isolates herself, which i find very frustrating since i have to be abscent from the social event half the time to check up on her. What can i do to help her adjust better to these situations? Or must i just wait for her to 'grow up'?
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
Block him and everything if you don't want to talk to him. But at least send him one email explaining that he's been getting on your nerves, that you've been trying to be nice about it but it's just to a point that you can't stand him anymore. Tell him you're sorry, but please stop trying to contact you and then tell him that you will smash his skull with a hammer and jab his eyes out with a fork if he contacts you again.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
Block him and everything if you don't want to talk to him. But at least send him one email explaining that he's been getting on your nerves, that you've been trying to be nice about it but it's just to a point that you can't stand him anymore. Tell him you're sorry, but please stop trying to contact you and then tell him that you will smash his skull with a hammer and jab his eyes out with a fork if he contacts you again.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
Block him and everything if you don't want to talk to him. But at least send him one email explaining that he's been getting on your nerves, that you've been trying to be nice about it but it's just to a point that you can't stand him anymore. Tell him you're sorry, but please stop trying to contact you and then tell him that you will smash his skull with a hammer and jab his eyes out with a fork if he contacts you again.
Personally I find that threats of arson towards his residence and that of his family or friends works a lot better than threats of direct personal violence. Your mileage may vary though.
So like larjarse, what are your qualifications for being a a pick-up artist again?
It goes like neg-cuddle-neg-cuddle over and over until her panties drop
As I posted before: If you want to want to know something about me then PM me.
Also: I am remaking this topic after I get out of work tonight. I will PM the mods and tell them to watch it's content closer, becase this thread is cluttered with rule-breaking posts. If the mods are actually doing their job, the new thread will have much higher quality content that is informative and beneficial. In the meantime, please keep the requests coming. Other users may answer them, but I will give my answers to new questions later today in the new, improved thread.
To those who dislike, flame, trolled, and ultimately were against this thread:
Nobody forced you to look at or post in this topic. Flaming a topic just because it's something you just aren't in to is like shooting smoke bombs at a soccer field just because you don't enjoy the game. Likewise, if you decide to change your mind and would like to participate in legitimate, non-sarcastic, logical conversaton, then feel free to post.
Thank the people who participated and supported this thread.
So like larjarse, what are your qualifications for being a a pick-up artist again?
It goes like neg-cuddle-neg-cuddle over and over until her panties drop
As I posted before: If you want to want to know something about me then PM me.
Also: I am remaking this topic after I get out of work tonight. I will PM the mods and tell them to watch it's content closer, becase this thread is cluttered with rule-breaking posts. If the mods are actually doing their job, the new thread will have much higher quality content that is informative and beneficial. In the meantime, please keep the requests coming. Other users may answer them, but I will give my answers to new questions later today in the new, improved thread.
To those who dislike, flame, trolled, and ultimately were against this thread:
Nobody forced you to look at or post in this topic. Flaming a topic just because it's something you just aren't in to is like shooting smoke bombs at a soccer field just because you don't enjoy the game. Likewise, if you decide to change your mind and would like to participate in legitimate, non-sarcastic, logical conversaton, then feel free to post.
Thank the people who participated and supported this thread.
I think one reason for why so many people tried to shit up your topic is because you do project a pompous attitude in post like the above one ("I will PM the mods and tell them to watch it's content closer," "If the mods are actually doing their job,"*) coupled with the fact that you really DON'T give any sort of explanation for WHY people should follow what you say or care about your topic in general. This is further expounded upon by the title - "LarJarsE's attraction and blahblah." There used to be a poster here before, named LastShadow, who would name every thread after himself as if he was some sort of marvelous inventor and genius, who was blessing us mortals with "LastShadow's Unstoppable Mega Guide to blah blah blah." People are entitled to their opinions, and they are entitled to post them (if they aren't purely shit) - this includes disagreeing with you, what you are posting about, and the thread in general. Nobody forced them to post in the topic, that's obvious. But they want to, because they think you are a joke (whether or not that is true is an opinion, theirs obviously differing from yours).
*Note: Maybe you don't understand this, but mods have better things to do than babysit your topic. Despite it being their (unpaid and clearly unsung) job to keep the forums generally clean, I don't think any of them care enough to be on constant patrol of anyone's threads, except maybe their own (and the news threads). The way you talk down to them by "tell[ing] them" what to do is a growing hole in your reputation, in my opinion.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
Block him and everything if you don't want to talk to him. But at least send him one email explaining that he's been getting on your nerves, that you've been trying to be nice about it but it's just to a point that you can't stand him anymore. Tell him you're sorry, but please stop trying to contact you and then tell him that you will smash his skull with a hammer and jab his eyes out with a fork if he contacts you again.
Unless you were joking, I don't see how one has to get so confrontational to tell a guy off. The job can be done with minimal unpleasantry.
Make your point and be serious about it. Unless he has serious problems, he will get the message and will stop bothering you. If he doesn't.. then ask the question again on this thread.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
Block him and everything if you don't want to talk to him. But at least send him one email explaining that he's been getting on your nerves, that you've been trying to be nice about it but it's just to a point that you can't stand him anymore. Tell him you're sorry, but please stop trying to contact you and then tell him that you will smash his skull with a hammer and jab his eyes out with a fork if he contacts you again.
Unless you were joking, I don't see how one has to get so confrontational to tell a guy off. The job can be done with minimal unpleasantry.
Damn" Americans"
I think if you look back through your post history and count the amount of times you've
1. Said something along the lines of "unless you were joking..." 2. Reacted negatively to a post that others did not. 3. Reacted negatively to a post that was a clear exaggeration of the truth.
You will realize that you need to start taking things on a different level than face value. It will save you a lot of time.
On October 22 2009 07:39 Johndoe wrote: Having trouble with girlfrinds past (surprise, surprise!!!)
I met this great chick online about 6 months ago. I am 45 and she is 42. I dont know exactly how many men she slept before me but it would be about 25-30. She losy her virginity at 16 to a boyfriend she tne told me she was quite promiscuous after that due to her low self esteem. she never had any guidance as her father died when she was young and her mom never supervised her properly. She got pregnant with her friends boyfriend during one of their break ups at 17. Up until that time she had close to 10 one night stands and says it was because she thought that was how you get someone. One of her one night stands she and a girlfriend picked up two guys at the pub and ended up swapping them (not foursome or same room sex). After she got pregnant at 17 she had two boyfriends and a one night stand with a work mate. She ended up dating and marrying a guy from her circle of friends. BTW she screwed her work collegue the night before fucking her future husband. She was married to this man for 16 years and never really loved him. Towrads the end of the marriage she started to play around because she wanted out. She never fucked or groped any of the guys but pashed quite a few. She did also sleep with two of her female workmates during thistime but her husband knew about it before it happened. Basically it was a fucked up marriage and she finally got the courage to leave.
She was separated for 6 months before meeting her second husband. During this time she had 3 one night stands with ramdom men. One of these one night stands involved her going out with her younger girlfriend (she was 36 at the time and her girlfriend was 22) to a night club and picking up 2 18 year old guys. Both the girls fucked each of the guys and the girls fucked each other. This is one of the chicks she had sex with during her marriage. She let the two guys use a dildo on her but wouldnt let them fuck her at the same time. Her second husband was her fourth date (fucked on the first night). This relationship lasted 5 years but he was a gambler and alcoholic. During this marriage they had a threesome with another chic which basically ended her marriage because her husband screwed the other chic secretly. She says she did the 3 some to please the husband and hated her self for it. BTW she also had a major alcohol problem in her life. After this marriage entered she was convinced by a girlfriend to start internet dating. In the 15 months until she met me she slept with 8 men. The first was a revenge root out of anger against her husband and her ended up being a FB until she got bored. She was then genuinley trying to find Mr right and usually had sex if she got to a second date but would then realise it didn't feel right and end it. She had a one night stand with one of these 8 on New years eve because she said she felt lonely and was home alone. It was someone she had spoken to before but said she wanted to go out that night and finish the night with some intimacy. In other words it was a planned root. The main difficulty I have with this one is that in her profile she said she didn't want a one night stand but seemed to break her rules with this one.
I forgot to mention that halfway through this internet dating period she stopped drinking because she realised she is an alcoholic and doesnt touch the drink anymore. I say this because most of her sex involved alcohol. She is really getting her life together and dearly wants this relationship forever.
She told me that sometime around when she had the one night stand she decided she was dating all wrong by sleeping with these men before getting to know them. She only slept with one more before she met me, which she thought was going to be long term but it didn't work out that way. Just before we met she told me she was about to get off the dating site and just let things be. She would meet somone one day when it just happended.
Anyway she tells me she loves me more she has ever loved and the sex far exceeds anything she has ever had. She wants me long term and no one else.
Sorry about the long story but I have given her a fair bit of grief over her past, which is wrong but I made the mistake of asking. I believe she is genuine in what she tells me but I cant get images out of my head. She tells me time and time again how much she wants me but why dont I listen. Should I be concerned about her past or can people change their views and moral standards. Does this girl deserve the chance she is asking for or will these images and thoughts I have evntually fade. I would be greatful for some feed back.
BTW she is a very attractive and loving woman and I think I am being a jerk.
Fantacist, your signature pretty much sums you up.
Believe in yourself. Do what you think is right. Fuck those against progress.
I never asked a mod to baby sit my topic, however, when there are people acting out again and again, obstructing the good intentioned conversation of others, it just makes the website look bad. If one was to judge the quality of this forum by the posts in this topic, it would score a "dont waste your time in this unsupervised, childish, romper room of a forum.
edit: there are 12000 views of this topic
I know you have a (usually very long) answer to everything and everyone, but usually people aren't making statements to YOU or asking YOU questions, so why do you waste your time? I must say that this is a rhetorical question and that I am uninterested in your answer. However, it appears to me that you are jealous and insecure, and that is why you flame this thread. Your first post on this topic was "who are you again?" and then you continued to say, indirectly, that the thead is nonsense and noone should participate in it.
Your username is all over this thread. I made this thread because I find pleasure in helping others, but I am really confused why you keep posting in this topic. Count the number of people who told you to shut up.
On October 22 2009 07:32 fanatacist wrote: I think one reason for why so many people tried to shit up your topic is because you do project a pompous attitude in post like the above one ("I will PM the mods and tell them to watch it's content closer," "If the mods are actually doing their job,"*) coupled with the fact that you really DON'T give any sort of explanation for WHY people should follow what you say or care about your topic in general. This is further expounded upon by the title - "LarJarsE's attraction and blahblah." There used to be a poster here before, named LastShadow, who would name every thread after himself as if he was some sort of marvelous inventor and genius, who was blessing us mortals with "LastShadow's Unstoppable Mega Guide to blah blah blah." People are entitled to their opinions, and they are entitled to post them (if they aren't purely shit) - this includes disagreeing with you, what you are posting about, and the thread in general. Nobody forced them to post in the topic, that's obvious. But they want to, because they think you are a joke (whether or not that is true is an opinion, theirs obviously differing from yours).
*Note: Maybe you don't understand this, but mods have better things to do than babysit your topic. Despite it being their (unpaid and clearly unsung) job to keep the forums generally clean, I don't think any of them care enough to be on constant patrol of anyone's threads, except maybe their own (and the news threads). The way you talk down to them by "tell[ing] them" what to do is a growing hole in your reputation, in my opinion.
Threads are supposed to live or die by their popularity. A thread is not supposed to be killed by a bunch of forum veterans treating it like shit.
These are the two acceptable fates for bad threads: 1. Closed because it's against the rules. 2. Falls off the face of the forum because there is no interest in it.
The idea of someone posting in a thread that he thinks is bad is not good for the forum. I guess the basic assumption that was wrong is that people won't waste their time on things that don't interest them or that don't seem worthy of attention. Not so. Jackasses love to post in such threads and TL.net has accumulated a healthy group of jackasses.
Mods have better things to do than babysit his topic? He's talking down to mods by reporting rule breakers? Mods wouldn't have to babysit anything if veterans didn't act like they have a license to break rules. Babysitting is only necessary when a veteran is pushing his luck on the leeway he's allowed. If it weren't for always having to contemplate exceptions, sending out warnings and bans for violations of the rules would be a clearer process. The OP is just trying to cover his ass because he doesn't want to make a thread that fosters rulebreaking. Innocently enough, he must have assumed it's possible to have a clean relationship advice thread on TL.net and is wondering how he messed up his attempt at it. But no matter what warnings he puts in the OP or how he responds to people, there's nothing short of having a red name that would've enabled him to succeed. Sad
On October 22 2009 08:02 larjarse wrote: Fantacist, your signature pretty much sums you up.
Believe in yourself. Do what you think is right. Fuck those against progress.
I never asked a mod to baby sit my topic, however, when there are people acting out again and again, obstructing the good intentioned conversation of others, it just makes the website look bad. If one was to judge the quality of this forum by the posts in this topic, it would score a "dont waste your time in this unsupervised, childish, romper room of a forum.
I know you have a (usually very long) answer to everything and everyone, but usually people aren't making statements to YOU or asking YOU questions, so why do you waste your time? I must say that this is a rhetorical question and that I am uninterested in your answer. However, it appears to me that you are jealous and insecure, and that is why you flame this thread. Your first post on this topic was "who are you again?" and then you continued to say, indirectly, that the thead is nonsense and noone should participate in it.
Your username is all over this thread. I made this thread because I find pleasure in helping others, but I am really confused why you keep posting in this topic. Count the number of people who told you to shut up.
No one asked me, and yes I was one of the people trying to shit up your topic. However the post I made to you was more or less an answer as to why people reacted to it the way they did. The most offensive thing I said to you was that you were pompous for talking down to mods. I want you to keep that in mind. I've already been confronted about my behavior, especially in this thread, and if you look at my more recent responses to people, I've been trying to give my 2 cents. Why? Because I want to, just like you want to give advice.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
Block him and everything if you don't want to talk to him. But at least send him one email explaining that he's been getting on your nerves, that you've been trying to be nice about it but it's just to a point that you can't stand him anymore. Tell him you're sorry, but please stop trying to contact you and then tell him that you will smash his skull with a hammer and jab his eyes out with a fork if he contacts you again.
Unless you were joking, I don't see how one has to get so confrontational to tell a guy off. The job can be done with minimal unpleasantry.
Damn" Americans"
I think if you look back through your post history and count the amount of times you've
1. Said something along the lines of "unless you were joking..." 2. Reacted negatively to a post that others did not. 3. Reacted negatively to a post that was a clear exaggeration of the truth.
You will realize that you need to start taking things on a different level than face value. It will save you a lot of time.
You must be feeling heat now, aren't you? I don't see what's wrong with what I said in response to lilsusie. In fact, 1, 2, 3 are not valid in this case at all (ok, except 1, but that's not something that is inherently bad). I am well aware that she was exaggerating in the latter part of her post, but it was an exaggeration not sarcasm, ie she still suggested that the girl make her point rather aggressively and unpleasantly.
You really are a petty child, and for the "harm" I did to you, you feel compelled to respond to my posts that do not pertain to you at all. Interestingly enough, I recall that the vast majority of times I had "committed" the aforementioned "sins" 1, 2, and 3, were in response to your nonsense. Maybe it has to do something with YOU, rather than me.
On October 22 2009 07:32 fanatacist wrote: I think one reason for why so many people tried to shit up your topic is because you do project a pompous attitude in post like the above one ("I will PM the mods and tell them to watch it's content closer," "If the mods are actually doing their job,"*) coupled with the fact that you really DON'T give any sort of explanation for WHY people should follow what you say or care about your topic in general. This is further expounded upon by the title - "LarJarsE's attraction and blahblah." There used to be a poster here before, named LastShadow, who would name every thread after himself as if he was some sort of marvelous inventor and genius, who was blessing us mortals with "LastShadow's Unstoppable Mega Guide to blah blah blah." People are entitled to their opinions, and they are entitled to post them (if they aren't purely shit) - this includes disagreeing with you, what you are posting about, and the thread in general. Nobody forced them to post in the topic, that's obvious. But they want to, because they think you are a joke (whether or not that is true is an opinion, theirs obviously differing from yours).
*Note: Maybe you don't understand this, but mods have better things to do than babysit your topic. Despite it being their (unpaid and clearly unsung) job to keep the forums generally clean, I don't think any of them care enough to be on constant patrol of anyone's threads, except maybe their own (and the news threads). The way you talk down to them by "tell[ing] them" what to do is a growing hole in your reputation, in my opinion.
Threads are supposed to live or die by their popularity. A thread is not supposed to be killed by a bunch of forum veterans treating it like shit.
These are the two acceptable fates for bad threads: 1. Closed because it's against the rules. 2. Falls off the face of the forum because there is no interest in it.
The idea of someone posting in a thread that he thinks is bad is not good for the forum. I guess the basic assumption that was wrong is that people won't waste their time on things that don't interest them or that don't seem worthy of attention. Not so. Jackasses love to post in such threads and TL.net has accumulated a healthy group of jackasses.
Mods have better things to do than babysit his topic? He's talking down to mods by reporting rule breakers? Mods wouldn't have to babysit anything if veterans didn't act like they have a license to break rules. Babysitting is only necessary when a veteran is pushing his luck on the leeway he's allowed. If it weren't for always having to contemplate exceptions, sending out warnings and bans for violations of the rules would be a clearer process. The OP is just trying to cover his ass because he doesn't want to make a thread that fosters rulebreaking. Innocently enough, he must have assumed it's possible to have a clean relationship advice thread on TL.net and is wondering how he messed up his attempt at it. But no matter what warnings he puts in the OP or how he responds to people, there's nothing short of having a red name that would've enabled him to succeed. Sad
Leaving my post history aside (this has been discussed elsewhere as you should know), I will reiterate that I tried to explain why I thought some people (yes, including myself) responded to his thread the way they did. I don't think I'm wrong in my opinion that the way he addressed the mods was condescending, assuming a commanding role over people who must have nothing better to do. I don't think I'm wrong in the assumption that mods have better things to do than to "actually do their job" by his standards, which I assume involves warning/banning every offender as soon as they post something inappropriate. Also, posting things like that probably spurs dissent more than it prevents it, but that's irrelevant.
I didn't intend for my post to derail the topic further - it was just a response to his post. I don't think I did or said anything wrong in said post. If you are done saying what you need to say, I think we should just leave it at this.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
Block him and everything if you don't want to talk to him. But at least send him one email explaining that he's been getting on your nerves, that you've been trying to be nice about it but it's just to a point that you can't stand him anymore. Tell him you're sorry, but please stop trying to contact you and then tell him that you will smash his skull with a hammer and jab his eyes out with a fork if he contacts you again.
Unless you were joking, I don't see how one has to get so confrontational to tell a guy off. The job can be done with minimal unpleasantry.
Damn" Americans"
I think if you look back through your post history and count the amount of times you've
1. Said something along the lines of "unless you were joking..." 2. Reacted negatively to a post that others did not. 3. Reacted negatively to a post that was a clear exaggeration of the truth.
You will realize that you need to start taking things on a different level than face value. It will save you a lot of time.
You must be feeling heat now, aren't you? I don't see what's wrong with what I said in response to lilsusie. In fact, 1, 2, 3 are not valid in this case at all (ok, except 1, but that's not something that is inherently bad). I am well aware that she was exaggerating in the latter part of her post, but it was an exaggeration not sarcasm, ie she still suggested that the girl make her point rather aggressively and unpleasantly.
You really are a petty child, and for the "harm" I did to you, you feel compelled to respond to my posts that do not pertain to you at all. Interestingly enough, I recall that the vast majority of times I had "committed" the aforementioned "sins" 1, 2, and 3, were in response to your nonsense. Maybe it has to do something with YOU, rather than me.
Did I say you said something wrong or offensive? I was just making a suggestion. Yes it has been said to me probably more than anyone, but that is also because I am sarcastic/exaggerate more than most people.
You insult me when I haven't said anything insulting to you at all. Funny how your definition of "petty" works. I never said they were sins, you just assume that I am attacking you, which is understandable I guess. I wasn't.
On October 20 2009 22:36 yooh wrote: Can you answer a question for me even if I'm not a guy? How do you show someone that you don't wanna talk to them when they go on and on and on...
Yooh:
The best piece of advice I can say, is just to be straightforward and honest with the guy. Don't be mean about it of course, be polite, but firm. Most guys will have self-doubt/rejection issues as well, so be careful with your wording.
I would suggest something like...
Arrange a meeting with 'your' guy. Preferable a public place, nice relaxed environment. Don't beat around the bush either btw, I would be upfront. Just look him deep in eyes, and say:
"Look, Testie, you're a nice guy and all, but that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I'm no longer 14."
Should work like a charm.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLLL.... you're funny No but seriously. What if it's at the point where I don't even wanna see him cus he's seriously annoying and won't stop msging me... I feel bad if I just block him and ignore him all the time cus that's what I've been kinda doing...
Block him and everything if you don't want to talk to him. But at least send him one email explaining that he's been getting on your nerves, that you've been trying to be nice about it but it's just to a point that you can't stand him anymore. Tell him you're sorry, but please stop trying to contact you and then tell him that you will smash his skull with a hammer and jab his eyes out with a fork if he contacts you again.
Unless you were joking, I don't see how one has to get so confrontational to tell a guy off. The job can be done with minimal unpleasantry.
Damn" Americans"
I think if you look back through your post history and count the amount of times you've
1. Said something along the lines of "unless you were joking..." 2. Reacted negatively to a post that others did not. 3. Reacted negatively to a post that was a clear exaggeration of the truth.
You will realize that you need to start taking things on a different level than face value. It will save you a lot of time.
You must be feeling heat now, aren't you? I don't see what's wrong with what I said in response to lilsusie. In fact, 1, 2, 3 are not valid in this case at all (ok, except 1, but that's not something that is inherently bad). I am well aware that she was exaggerating in the latter part of her post, but it was an exaggeration not sarcasm, ie she still suggested that the girl make her point rather aggressively and unpleasantly.
You really are a petty child, and for the "harm" I did to you, you feel compelled to respond to my posts that do not pertain to you at all. Interestingly enough, I recall that the vast majority of times I had "committed" the aforementioned "sins" 1, 2, and 3, were in response to your nonsense. Maybe it has to do something with YOU, rather than me.
Did I say you said something wrong or offensive? I was just making a suggestion. Yes it has been said to me probably more than anyone, but that is also because I am sarcastic/exaggerate more than most people.
You insult me when I haven't said anything insulting to you at all. Funny how your definition of "petty" works. I never said they were sins, you just assume that I am attacking you, which is understandable I guess. I wasn't.
You seem to be the one making the assumptions. I clearly do not agree with your "suggestion" and reacted as so. Is calling you "petty" an insult? Surely, you have thicker skin than that. And you were being petty by kindly offering me "life advice" based on post that did not pertain to you at all.
edit: I respect the OP's intent and I will stop bickering with you. Why don't you also STFU, as I have suggested before in the same thread? (Or PM me, as YOU suggested) We get the point; you think this thread is dumb. Now kindly leave the people alone, jesus christ.
On October 22 2009 08:03 Liquid`NonY wrote: But no matter what warnings he puts in the OP or how he responds to people, there's nothing short of having a red name that would've enabled him to succeed. Sad
Well I am trying again tonight, and I have hope! Success is still an option!
Success in creating a constructive and beneficial environment to discuss dating, and the complex relationship between men and women today, that is.
On October 22 2009 07:39 Johndoe wrote: Having trouble with girlfriends past (surprise, surprise!!!)
I met this great chick online about 6 months ago. I am 45 and she is 42. I don’t know exactly how many men she slept before me but it would be about 25-30. She lost her virginity at 16 to a boyfriend she then told me she was quite promiscuous after that due to her low self esteem. She never had any guidance as her father died when she was young and her mom never supervised her properly. She got pregnant with her friends boyfriend during one of their break ups at 17. Up until that time she had close to 10 one night stands and says it was because she thought that was how you get someone. One of her one night stands her and a girlfriend picked up two guys at the pub and ended up swapping them (not foursome or same room sex). After she got pregnant at 17 she had two boyfriends and a one night stand with a work mate. She ended up dating and marrying a guy from her circle of friends. BTW she screwed her work colleague the night before fucking her future husband. She was married to this man for 16 years and never really loved him. Towards the end of the marriage she started to play around because she wanted out. She never fucked or groped any of the guys but pashed quite a few. She did also sleep with two of her female workmates during this time but her husband knew about it before it happened. Basically it was a fucked up marriage and she finally got the courage to leave.
She was separated for 6 months before meeting her second husband. During this time she had 3 one night stands with random men. One of these one night stands involved her going out with her younger girlfriend (she was 36 at the time and her girlfriend was 22) to a night club and picking up 2 18 year old guys. Both the girls fucked each of the guys and the girls fucked each other. This is one of the chicks she had sex with during her marriage. She let the two guys use a dildo on her but wouldn’t let them fuck her at the same time. Her second husband was her fourth date (fucked on the first night). This relationship lasted 5 years but he was a gambler and alcoholic. During this marriage they had a threesome with another chic which basically ended her marriage because her husband screwed the other chic secretly. She says she did the 3 some to please the husband and hated herself for it. BTW she also had a major alcohol problem in her life. After this marriage entered she was convinced by a girlfriend to start internet dating. In the 15 months until she met me she slept with 8 men. The first was a revenge root out of anger against her husband and her ended up being a FB until she got bored. She was then genuinely trying to find Mr. right and usually had sex if she got to a second date but would then realise it didn't feel right and end it. She had a one night stand with one of these 8 on New Year’s Eve because she said she felt lonely and was home alone. It was someone she had spoken to before but said she wanted to go out that night and finish the night with some intimacy. In other words it was a planned root. The main difficulty I have with this one is that in her profile she said she didn't want a one night stand but seemed to break her rules with this one.
I forgot to mention that halfway through this internet dating period she stopped drinking because she realised she is an alcoholic and doesn’t touch the drink anymore. I say this because most of her sex involved alcohol. She is really getting her life together and dearly wants this relationship forever.
She told me that sometime around when she had the one night stand she decided she was dating all wrong by sleeping with these men before getting to know them. She only slept with one more before she met me, whom she thought, was going to be long term but it didn't work out that way. Just before we met she told me she was about to get off the dating site and just let things be. She would meet someone one day when it just happened.
Anyway she tells me she loves me more she has ever loved and the sex far exceeds anything she has ever had. She wants me long term and no one else.
Sorry about the long story but I have given her a fair bit of grief over her past, which is wrong but I made the mistake of asking. I believe she is genuine in what she tells me but I can’t get images out of my head. She tells me time and time again how much she wants me but why don’t I listen. Should I be concerned about her past or can people change their views and moral standards. Does this girl deserve the chance she is asking for or will these images and thoughts I have eventually fade. I would be grateful for some feedback.
BTW she is a very attractive and loving woman and I think I am being a jerk.
personal opinion here. if you can't be completely yourself in a relationship you probably should find a new person. i don't see why people hafta change themselves just to "get the person they love". if somebody loves you back they should love you for whatever it is.
On October 22 2009 09:05 Johndoe wrote: On October 22 2009 07:39 Johndoe wrote: Having trouble with girlfriends past (surprise, surprise!!!)
Johndoe:
You should be somewhat cautious because of her past bad behavior. However, it seems she is being genuine and truthful with you. Why would she tell you all of this shit? Because she is deciding to be straight up with someone for a change, someone who will take her for who she is.
She laid herself out on the floor for you. Take a good look she says, what you see is what you get.
The fact is, if you are dating a girl any age above 18, she has probably done some dirty things. At your age, people generally have a deep sexual history. It is your choice to take the microscope off the things she told you. She didn't tell you these things to scare you, she told you because she wants acceptance from someone who actually knows her.
Tell her that you know she told you that stuff because she wants you to understand that she is trying to be honest with you, and she wants you to accept her for who she is. Tell her that because you actually do like her, that knowing her past makes you a little uncomfortable. Tell her that regardless of both of your pasts, you are trying to make it work, and you see that SHE is also trying to make it work.
Tell her you don't want it to be complicated, and you will always let her know how you feel so things don't get messed up, and that she should do the same. (Not that she hasn't)
On October 22 2009 09:05 Johndoe wrote: On October 22 2009 07:39 Johndoe wrote: Having trouble with girlfriends past (surprise, surprise!!!)
I met this great chick online about 6 months ago. I am 45 and she is 42. I don’t know exactly how many men she slept before me but it would be about 25-30. She lost her virginity at 16 to a boyfriend she then told me she was quite promiscuous after that due to her low self esteem. She never had any guidance as her father died when she was young and her mom never supervised her properly. She got pregnant with her friends boyfriend during one of their break ups at 17. Up until that time she had close to 10 one night stands and says it was because she thought that was how you get someone. One of her one night stands her and a girlfriend picked up two guys at the pub and ended up swapping them (not foursome or same room sex). After she got pregnant at 17 she had two boyfriends and a one night stand with a work mate. She ended up dating and marrying a guy from her circle of friends. BTW she screwed her work colleague the night before fucking her future husband. She was married to this man for 16 years and never really loved him. Towards the end of the marriage she started to play around because she wanted out. She never fucked or groped any of the guys but pashed quite a few. She did also sleep with two of her female workmates during this time but her husband knew about it before it happened. Basically it was a fucked up marriage and she finally got the courage to leave.
She was separated for 6 months before meeting her second husband. During this time she had 3 one night stands with random men. One of these one night stands involved her going out with her younger girlfriend (she was 36 at the time and her girlfriend was 22) to a night club and picking up 2 18 year old guys. Both the girls fucked each of the guys and the girls fucked each other. This is one of the chicks she had sex with during her marriage. She let the two guys use a dildo on her but wouldn’t let them fuck her at the same time. Her second husband was her fourth date (fucked on the first night). This relationship lasted 5 years but he was a gambler and alcoholic. During this marriage they had a threesome with another chic which basically ended her marriage because her husband screwed the other chic secretly. She says she did the 3 some to please the husband and hated herself for it. BTW she also had a major alcohol problem in her life. After this marriage entered she was convinced by a girlfriend to start internet dating. In the 15 months until she met me she slept with 8 men. The first was a revenge root out of anger against her husband and her ended up being a FB until she got bored. She was then genuinely trying to find Mr. right and usually had sex if she got to a second date but would then realise it didn't feel right and end it. She had a one night stand with one of these 8 on New Year’s Eve because she said she felt lonely and was home alone. It was someone she had spoken to before but said she wanted to go out that night and finish the night with some intimacy. In other words it was a planned root. The main difficulty I have with this one is that in her profile she said she didn't want a one night stand but seemed to break her rules with this one.
I forgot to mention that halfway through this internet dating period she stopped drinking because she realised she is an alcoholic and doesn’t touch the drink anymore. I say this because most of her sex involved alcohol. She is really getting her life together and dearly wants this relationship forever.
She told me that sometime around when she had the one night stand she decided she was dating all wrong by sleeping with these men before getting to know them. She only slept with one more before she met me, whom she thought, was going to be long term but it didn't work out that way. Just before we met she told me she was about to get off the dating site and just let things be. She would meet someone one day when it just happened.
Anyway she tells me she loves me more she has ever loved and the sex far exceeds anything she has ever had. She wants me long term and no one else.
Sorry about the long story but I have given her a fair bit of grief over her past, which is wrong but I made the mistake of asking. I believe she is genuine in what she tells me but I can’t get images out of my head. She tells me time and time again how much she wants me but why don’t I listen. Should I be concerned about her past or can people change their views and moral standards. Does this girl deserve the chance she is asking for or will these images and thoughts I have eventually fade. I would be grateful for some feedback.
BTW she is a very attractive and loving woman and I think I am being a jerk.
WWWooowwww... I feel kinda bad for you. Well I don't feel bad if you really like her but I feel bad. I think it's up to YOU to decide whether or not you're accepting the chances of all that trainwreck to occur to you in your relationship with her. I agree with the love guru about the "if she didn't genuinely like you then she wouldn't open up to you". But reallyyyyyyyy. Girls don't exactly work that way to be honest......... Because girls open up to anyone who is going to accept them when they are lonely/horny/insecure. Which is TOTALLY one of the big issues in your situation. She wants acceptance and companionship. You're giving it to her. Her ex-husband gave that security to her too though... right?
Which is why I think you should really think to yourself if you're gonna be able to tolerance a lot of shit because the statistics speak for themselves. And if you really really really like her, then suffer.
And fyi you're not being a jerk, you're being HUMAN. How'd you guys meet anyways? If it's at a bar or something then do yourself a favour and give up.
On October 17 2009 08:35 Nytefish wrote: Well there's this prostitute I know but I'm not sure how to approach her. Should I strike up a conversation and invite her out to lunch or just wave my wallet in the air?
On October 22 2009 09:25 Mykill wrote: personal opinion here. if you can't be completely yourself in a relationship you probably should find a new person. i don't see why people hafta change themselves just to "get the person they love". if somebody loves you back they should love you for whatever it is.
good luck on dating people
Love you for who you are?
If I girl loved me for who I am, they would love a guy who sits in front of his computer all day doing nothing. Someone who doesn't take care of himself much, his looks, his life, etc. Someone who is a underachiever and unmotivated about most things in life. Who the fuck wants to love someone for who they are...
I'm just playing devil's advocate here. But in all seriousness we are just products of this consumer society. We choose our partners just like we choose items in a store. We list the qualities we want, and then we demand it from others. If they don't meet our expectations we leave.
So I never had a girlfriend before, am already in college. I think I don't do well with women... I have no female friends... or at least someone which I would consider a friend.
Well the point is I've been helping some girl with programming basics. There was supposed to be only one session but I offered more help and she accepted. So far it has been like 3 sessions.
The thing is she said "Hey, I'll invite you to eat sometime". And (I think) because we haven't found free time it hasn't happened (she has reminded me it a few times already).
Does a girl is attracted to you if she asks to go eat with her?
But now consider this...
I screwed up today and arrived late at what was supposed to be the fourth session. When I arrived she was not there and did not call me (strange, because she did so the previous sessions).
I mailed her a "Sorry" mail, and she hasn't answered yet. And from what I've reading I think I screwed up by doing that too.
So, any advice on how to fix this? She's pretty hot, really don't want to screw it up more for this one.
On October 22 2009 09:05 Johndoe wrote: On October 22 2009 07:39 Johndoe wrote: Having trouble with girlfriends past (surprise, surprise!!!)
I met this great chick online about 6 months ago. I am 45 and she is 42. I don’t know exactly how many men she slept before me but it would be about 25-30. She lost her virginity at 16 to a boyfriend she then told me she was quite promiscuous after that due to her low self esteem. She never had any guidance as her father died when she was young and her mom never supervised her properly. She got pregnant with her friends boyfriend during one of their break ups at 17. Up until that time she had close to 10 one night stands and says it was because she thought that was how you get someone. One of her one night stands her and a girlfriend picked up two guys at the pub and ended up swapping them (not foursome or same room sex). After she got pregnant at 17 she had two boyfriends and a one night stand with a work mate. She ended up dating and marrying a guy from her circle of friends. BTW she screwed her work colleague the night before fucking her future husband. She was married to this man for 16 years and never really loved him. Towards the end of the marriage she started to play around because she wanted out. She never fucked or groped any of the guys but pashed quite a few. She did also sleep with two of her female workmates during this time but her husband knew about it before it happened. Basically it was a fucked up marriage and she finally got the courage to leave.
She was separated for 6 months before meeting her second husband. During this time she had 3 one night stands with random men. One of these one night stands involved her going out with her younger girlfriend (she was 36 at the time and her girlfriend was 22) to a night club and picking up 2 18 year old guys. Both the girls fucked each of the guys and the girls fucked each other. This is one of the chicks she had sex with during her marriage. She let the two guys use a dildo on her but wouldn’t let them fuck her at the same time. Her second husband was her fourth date (fucked on the first night). This relationship lasted 5 years but he was a gambler and alcoholic. During this marriage they had a threesome with another chic which basically ended her marriage because her husband screwed the other chic secretly. She says she did the 3 some to please the husband and hated herself for it. BTW she also had a major alcohol problem in her life. After this marriage entered she was convinced by a girlfriend to start internet dating. In the 15 months until she met me she slept with 8 men. The first was a revenge root out of anger against her husband and her ended up being a FB until she got bored. She was then genuinely trying to find Mr. right and usually had sex if she got to a second date but would then realise it didn't feel right and end it. She had a one night stand with one of these 8 on New Year’s Eve because she said she felt lonely and was home alone. It was someone she had spoken to before but said she wanted to go out that night and finish the night with some intimacy. In other words it was a planned root. The main difficulty I have with this one is that in her profile she said she didn't want a one night stand but seemed to break her rules with this one.
I forgot to mention that halfway through this internet dating period she stopped drinking because she realised she is an alcoholic and doesn’t touch the drink anymore. I say this because most of her sex involved alcohol. She is really getting her life together and dearly wants this relationship forever.
She told me that sometime around when she had the one night stand she decided she was dating all wrong by sleeping with these men before getting to know them. She only slept with one more before she met me, whom she thought, was going to be long term but it didn't work out that way. Just before we met she told me she was about to get off the dating site and just let things be. She would meet someone one day when it just happened.
Anyway she tells me she loves me more she has ever loved and the sex far exceeds anything she has ever had. She wants me long term and no one else.
Sorry about the long story but I have given her a fair bit of grief over her past, which is wrong but I made the mistake of asking. I believe she is genuine in what she tells me but I can’t get images out of my head. She tells me time and time again how much she wants me but why don’t I listen. Should I be concerned about her past or can people change their views and moral standards. Does this girl deserve the chance she is asking for or will these images and thoughts I have eventually fade. I would be grateful for some feedback.
BTW she is a very attractive and loving woman and I think I am being a jerk.
Dude you have to be careful here. Girls are very very very good at convincing people of things for some reason. She obviously has a FUCKED UP past, one that just at a glance I would COMPLETELY avoid because its obvious she is fcking crazy. I knew a girl that told me she was an athiest (i was like fuck yea) and a year later she turned out to be a fuckin full blown hardcore catholic and i had no idea (more hypocrisy btw). or a girl that told me she had a crush on me for a long ass time but was lying (wtf is that LOL?). There was also a girl that I was really close with and she let me be (like definately more than friends close and it wasnt a one night stand type thing, it was more sensual and shit ya know) and then bam friend zoned over text (that sucks dick LOL). I understand this girl is older but they are still conniving liars alot of the time. I would suggest you take a LONG time to get to know her (like 6 months) and if she really likes you she will change from her past. I think you should tell her you wanna be friends. If you tell that to girls they get even closer to you cuz they think they can convince you to date them through their conniving ways (i.e tits e.g vaginas).
She seems legit now because generally people that had a problem and quit it understand they need to clean up (the alc i mean.. and maybe multiple dicks inside her, shes quitting that too i guess). Just be careful and GL
On October 22 2009 12:13 Perfect Assassin wrote: Ok...
So I never had a girlfriend before, am already in college. I think I don't do well with women... I have no female friends... or at least someone which I would consider a friend.
Well the point is I've been helping some girl with programming basics. There was supposed to be only one session but I offered more help and she accepted. So far it has been like 3 sessions.
The thing is she said "Hey, I'll invite you to eat sometime". And (I think) because we haven't found free time it hasn't happened (she has reminded me it a few times already).
Does a girl is attracted to you if she asks to go eat with her?
But now consider this...
I screwed up today and arrived late at what was supposed to be the fourth session. When I arrived she was not there and did not call me (strange, because she did so the previous sessions).
I mailed her a "Sorry" mail, and she hasn't answered yet. And from what I've reading I think I screwed up by doing that too.
So, any advice on how to fix this? She's pretty hot, really don't want to screw it up more for this one.
i would say that you are on the path to becoming the group 3) category of men. the comfort person.
u seem very attached to this girl, but hey, its ur first few months in college (hopefully) and u should go out, get ur heart broken, and then reform a better man.
She's prob. asking u to food for being nice to her, but that could also be a positive sign. =) just keep going
On October 22 2009 12:13 Perfect Assassin wrote: Ok...
So I never had a girlfriend before, am already in college. I think I don't do well with women... I have no female friends... or at least someone which I would consider a friend.
Well the point is I've been helping some girl with programming basics. There was supposed to be only one session but I offered more help and she accepted. So far it has been like 3 sessions.
The thing is she said "Hey, I'll invite you to eat sometime". And (I think) because we haven't found free time it hasn't happened (she has reminded me it a few times already).
Does a girl is attracted to you if she asks to go eat with her?
But now consider this...
I screwed up today and arrived late at what was supposed to be the fourth session. When I arrived she was not there and did not call me (strange, because she did so the previous sessions).
I mailed her a "Sorry" mail, and she hasn't answered yet. And from what I've reading I think I screwed up by doing that too.
So, any advice on how to fix this? She's pretty hot, really don't want to screw it up more for this one.
i would say that you are on the path to becoming the group 3) category of men. the comfort person.
u seem very attached to this girl, but hey, its ur first few months in college (hopefully) and u should go out, get ur heart broken, and then reform a better man.
She's prob. asking u to food for being nice to her, but that could also be a positive sign. =) just keep going
Nuhhh uhhh man... It depends on her style... A lot of girls would go out just cus she wants to return the favour. That's what I would do. Don't get your hopes up...
Hmmm, the OP has actually done pretty well in sticking on topic and not getting distracted by the many trolls who were just messing with him. (myself included lol.) I've seen lots of these threads around here before, and they usually are either someone trolling the site in general, or they get closed before reaching the second page. I was pretty sure that's what this was going to be, so I joined in with the asking of silly questions. Sorry 'bout that o.o;
Anyway, I'm quite surprised this thread is still around. I'm somewhat tempted to write a reply ranting about my own relationship troubles lol.
Theres this chick that I really like everything about, personality, character, how she looks at things, voice, etc. but shes fat. so my question is...how do i make her lose weight real quick without causing emotional trauma?
Hey, I understand and respect what larjarse is trying to do here: give advice, be helpful and generally have a good discussion. And it HAS been interesting reading the myriad opinions and problems (although I'll admit to skipping over the longer ones).
On October 19 2009 17:22. GOB wrote The problem with most of the advice in this thread, including LarJarsE's, is that it subscribes to this simplistic notion that there are certain universal truths that can be manipulated in relationships. The reality is that this isn't the case. Dispensing this hackneyed brand of pop-psychology that gives diluted answers to vague questions is the same brand of hucksterism that sells truckloads of inane self-help books to desperate consumers.
There is no simple game plan or gimmick or recipe for getting girls. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something.
If you want to be comfortable getting girls, you need to be comfortable with yourself. Know who you are and what you want, in the large and small senses, and the other stuff just sort of work
Having said that I completely concur with the above quote. And furthermore, I also generally agree with fanatacist's opinion that there's a real pompous tone flowing through your thread larjarse. I don't think you're wrong in alot of what you say or flawed in your motivations, but it does smack of the Almighty on high dispensing advice. Like a few ppl I'd be really interested to hear why you feel you're in a position to give it. However, the problem is that no matter what you answered with (unless it were exceedingly humble) I'd think you were a toss. So I respect your desire for your private life to remain annonymous.
As for fanatacist, I think he's pretty funny. Sure, he can be pretty harsh and blunt but I think that's just his caustic style of humour and debating. I really don't think he's trying to ruin the thread. Anyway those are just my ideas - keep the advice and discussion going, it's interesting to read.
I've been reading this thread and I found alot of great advice, I'm just going to ask a very simple question:
How do you bring out the Bi-sexual in a woman, one of my wish list before I die is that I want to have three-way sex with two chicks and me only.. So like, what advice can you give to me for me to bring out that "dude" within my girl? I mean, she has a tendency of being very,very appreciative of beautiful women.. which of course I want to use in my advantage but she doesn't want to share me to somebody else..
Man, I'm going to try out your advice but if it doesn't work it's pretty ok.. I've tried before just that it my style doesn't seem to work.
Also, please include that living in a Christian Country, the women here are very conservative even the prostitutes (no kidding). Like I wanted to try 2 on 1 battle with them on the bed, but one told me she can't do it because the girl she was with wasn't her bestfriend, man, her bestfriend look's like it would look like a manage-de-twa between two men and 1 girl.
But anyway, enough of that story.. I would like to ask for anytips regarding this.. I am a man of goals and love, and love-making is one of them.
Thank you very very much! The Obelisk
Yes, I would also like this song to be part of the love:
On October 22 2009 23:44 TheAntZ wrote: Theres this chick that I really like everything about, personality, character, how she looks at things, voice, etc. but shes fat. so my question is...how do i make her lose weight real quick without causing emotional trauma?
You're an ass. You don't deserve her. If you liked her for who she is then her being fat shouldn't be an issue. AND PLUS. You're not even her boyfriend, who are you to say? -.-
On October 22 2009 23:44 TheAntZ wrote: Theres this chick that I really like everything about, personality, character, how she looks at things, voice, etc. but shes fat. so my question is...how do i make her lose weight real quick without causing emotional trauma?
You're an ass. You don't deserve her. If you liked her for who she is then her being fat shouldn't be an issue. AND PLUS. You're not even her boyfriend, who are you to say? -.-
Fat is an issue. Not taking care of yourself is a sign of multiple personality defects. If you can accept those defects, fine. If you think that its a deal breaker, that doesn't make you an 'ass'.
If anything, he's desperate/low self-esteem more than anything else, because there is someone out there who has the exact same set of fantastic qualities without the pitfalls of poor self-maintenance who he simply doesn't believe he can 'get'. The 'I'll fix her' mentality is one that's borne out of the idea that you can't go out and find a 'fixed' version with your own worth, and thus need to do repairing to get what you want.
On October 22 2009 23:44 TheAntZ wrote: Theres this chick that I really like everything about, personality, character, how she looks at things, voice, etc. but shes fat. so my question is...how do i make her lose weight real quick without causing emotional trauma?
start dating with her and tell her that she's sexy when she's sweating
I never bother to pursue women and don't really care about the ones that pursue me. I've dated people, but I just used them for whatever reason- I would enjoy spending time around them or them around me, but I didn't really care about any of them. Is that a problem? I dislike feeling emotional attachments to people. (I have liked a few of them, just not cared. There's a difference).
Right now, I'm trying to stop myself from starting to like a girl who is trying to get me to like her - she doesn't like me more than as friends - it's a power play thing, she has a history and a pattern of doing this to people. I told her that if circumstances were different I would want to date her, just so that she would stop trying as she's very good at it, but we're still both incredibly flirtatious with each other - it's my nature. I never really touch her but she tends to touch me lots of the time.. we're both 20, not that age really matters much.
As for the thread, I dislike it because too many of the people seem to believe in ladder theory. There's a difference between being nice to people as opposed to boring and dependent. So I decided to post my situation because it's very different from the ones people have been posting.
On October 22 2009 23:44 TheAntZ wrote: Theres this chick that I really like everything about, personality, character, how she looks at things, voice, etc. but shes fat. so my question is...how do i make her lose weight real quick without causing emotional trauma?
start dating with her and tell her that she's sexy when she's sweating
You sir, are a genius. brb exploiting and manipulating.
On October 22 2009 23:44 TheAntZ wrote: Theres this chick that I really like everything about, personality, character, how she looks at things, voice, etc. but shes fat. so my question is...how do i make her lose weight real quick without causing emotional trauma?
You're an ass. You don't deserve her. If you liked her for who she is then her being fat shouldn't be an issue. AND PLUS. You're not even her boyfriend, who are you to say? -.-
Fat is an issue. Not taking care of yourself is a sign of multiple personality defects. If you can accept those defects, fine. If you think that its a deal breaker, that doesn't make you an 'ass'.
If anything, he's desperate/low self-esteem more than anything else, because there is someone out there who has the exact same set of fantastic qualities without the pitfalls of poor self-maintenance who he simply doesn't believe he can 'get'. The 'I'll fix her' mentality is one that's borne out of the idea that you can't go out and find a 'fixed' version with your own worth, and thus need to do repairing to get what you want.
On October 23 2009 03:51 Nevuk wrote: I never bother to pursue women and don't really care about the ones that pursue me. I've dated people, but I just used them for whatever reason- I would enjoy spending time around them or them around me, but I didn't really care about any of them. Is that a problem? I dislike feeling emotional attachments to people. (I have liked a few of them, just not cared. There's a difference).
Right now, I'm trying to stop myself from starting to like a girl who is trying to get me to like her - she doesn't like me more than as friends - it's a power play thing, she has a history and a pattern of doing this to people. I told her that if circumstances were different I would want to date her, just so that she would stop trying as she's very good at it, but we're still both incredibly flirtatious with each other - it's my nature. I never really touch her but she tends to touch me lots of the time.. we're both 20, not that age really matters much.
As for the thread, I dislike it because too many of the people seem to believe in ladder theory. There's a difference between being nice to people as opposed to boring and dependent. So I decided to post my situation because it's very different from the ones people have been posting.
its perfectly acceptable to not want to date someone if you dont want to date them , dont really like them etc. eventually you'll come across a woman who is really smart, independant, mature... probably the majority of girls you're around just aren't good enough for you.
its not a problem - look forward to your future, when you start hanging round 27+ year old women..... but be aware that they'll be harder to win since they're older than you and interested in older men!!! (this really sucks actually)
On October 23 2009 03:51 Nevuk wrote: I never bother to pursue women and don't really care about the ones that pursue me. I've dated people, but I just used them for whatever reason- I would enjoy spending time around them or them around me, but I didn't really care about any of them. Is that a problem? I dislike feeling emotional attachments to people. (I have liked a few of them, just not cared. There's a difference).
Right now, I'm trying to stop myself from starting to like a girl who is trying to get me to like her - she doesn't like me more than as friends - it's a power play thing, she has a history and a pattern of doing this to people. I told her that if circumstances were different I would want to date her, just so that she would stop trying as she's very good at it, but we're still both incredibly flirtatious with each other - it's my nature. I never really touch her but she tends to touch me lots of the time.. we're both 20, not that age really matters much.
As for the thread, I dislike it because too many of the people seem to believe in ladder theory. There's a difference between being nice to people as opposed to boring and dependent. So I decided to post my situation because it's very different from the ones people have been posting.
On October 23 2009 03:51 Nevuk wrote: I never bother to pursue women and don't really care about the ones that pursue me. I've dated people, but I just used them for whatever reason- I would enjoy spending time around them or them around me, but I didn't really care about any of them. Is that a problem? I dislike feeling emotional attachments to people. (I have liked a few of them, just not cared. There's a difference).
Right now, I'm trying to stop myself from starting to like a girl who is trying to get me to like her - she doesn't like me more than as friends - it's a power play thing, she has a history and a pattern of doing this to people. I told her that if circumstances were different I would want to date her, just so that she would stop trying as she's very good at it, but we're still both incredibly flirtatious with each other - it's my nature. I never really touch her but she tends to touch me lots of the time.. we're both 20, not that age really matters much.
As for the thread, I dislike it because too many of the people seem to believe in ladder theory. There's a difference between being nice to people as opposed to boring and dependent. So I decided to post my situation because it's very different from the ones people have been posting.
you know the more you resist the harder she'll try
the easiest/best thing you can do is just stop hanging out with her
On October 23 2009 03:51 Nevuk wrote: I never bother to pursue women and don't really care about the ones that pursue me. I've dated people, but I just used them for whatever reason- I would enjoy spending time around them or them around me, but I didn't really care about any of them. Is that a problem? I dislike feeling emotional attachments to people. (I have liked a few of them, just not cared. There's a difference).
Right now, I'm trying to stop myself from starting to like a girl who is trying to get me to like her - she doesn't like me more than as friends - it's a power play thing, she has a history and a pattern of doing this to people. I told her that if circumstances were different I would want to date her, just so that she would stop trying as she's very good at it, but we're still both incredibly flirtatious with each other - it's my nature. I never really touch her but she tends to touch me lots of the time.. we're both 20, not that age really matters much.
As for the thread, I dislike it because too many of the people seem to believe in ladder theory. There's a difference between being nice to people as opposed to boring and dependent. So I decided to post my situation because it's very different from the ones people have been posting.
So.... what's the question here?
Basically, how do you prevent yourself from liking someone?
There does appear to be interest on both sides, it would just be a totally unworkable relationship and would be terrible for both of us. As for not hanging out, we have several classes together and it would be difficult to do. We don't hang out very often outside of class, besides eating between them and when random things come up like her needing stuff moved or wanting a ride somewhere (because I'm a dick, I make her pay me to do those things).
On October 23 2009 03:51 Nevuk wrote: I never bother to pursue women and don't really care about the ones that pursue me. I've dated people, but I just used them for whatever reason- I would enjoy spending time around them or them around me, but I didn't really care about any of them. Is that a problem? I dislike feeling emotional attachments to people. (I have liked a few of them, just not cared. There's a difference).
Right now, I'm trying to stop myself from starting to like a girl who is trying to get me to like her - she doesn't like me more than as friends - it's a power play thing, she has a history and a pattern of doing this to people. I told her that if circumstances were different I would want to date her, just so that she would stop trying as she's very good at it, but we're still both incredibly flirtatious with each other - it's my nature. I never really touch her but she tends to touch me lots of the time.. we're both 20, not that age really matters much.
As for the thread, I dislike it because too many of the people seem to believe in ladder theory. There's a difference between being nice to people as opposed to boring and dependent. So I decided to post my situation because it's very different from the ones people have been posting.
So.... what's the question here?
Basically, how do you prevent yourself from liking someone?
There does appear to be interest on both sides, it would just be a totally unworkable relationship and would be terrible for both of us. As for not hanging out, we have several classes together and it would be difficult to do. We don't hang out very often outside of class, besides eating between them and when random things come up like her needing stuff moved or wanting a ride somewhere (because I'm a dick, I make her pay me to do those things).
Just do what you need to do, make her pay for the same stuff just and talk to her casually, act like a robot to her and don't let your emotions take the best out of you. Been in the same case before, and she won, made a real muppet out of me.
She will stop doing this once she feels that you don't show any interest to her. Don't suck on her ego!
On October 23 2009 03:51 Nevuk wrote: I never bother to pursue women and don't really care about the ones that pursue me. I've dated people, but I just used them for whatever reason- I would enjoy spending time around them or them around me, but I didn't really care about any of them. Is that a problem? I dislike feeling emotional attachments to people. (I have liked a few of them, just not cared. There's a difference).
Right now, I'm trying to stop myself from starting to like a girl who is trying to get me to like her - she doesn't like me more than as friends - it's a power play thing, she has a history and a pattern of doing this to people. I told her that if circumstances were different I would want to date her, just so that she would stop trying as she's very good at it, but we're still both incredibly flirtatious with each other - it's my nature. I never really touch her but she tends to touch me lots of the time.. we're both 20, not that age really matters much.
As for the thread, I dislike it because too many of the people seem to believe in ladder theory. There's a difference between being nice to people as opposed to boring and dependent. So I decided to post my situation because it's very different from the ones people have been posting.
So.... what's the question here?
Basically, how do you prevent yourself from liking someone?
There does appear to be interest on both sides, it would just be a totally unworkable relationship and would be terrible for both of us. As for not hanging out, we have several classes together and it would be difficult to do. We don't hang out very often outside of class, besides eating between them and when random things come up like her needing stuff moved or wanting a ride somewhere (because I'm a dick, I make her pay me to do those things).
Just do what you need to do, make her pay for the same stuff just and talk to her casually, act like a robot to her and don't let your emotions take the best out of you. Been in the same case before, and she won, made a real muppet out of me.
She will stop doing this once she feels that you don't show any interest to her. Don't suck on her ego!
Totally agreed. But at the same time, why do you want to force yourself out of love...? Not like love love, but you know, like feelings of attraction and the joy that comes out of it. If you seriously like someone, don't be afraid to love... And if she's just playing you, ask yourself why you even like her in the first place then. There's nothing that stops attraction if its there. You can run but chu can't hideeeeee
Nevuk you never know until you try. If you have chemistry it's for a reason. That reason is usually not some divine irony where you both like each other but would have a terrible relationship. Mutual attraction can make even polar opposite personalities mesh well. My suggestion is to keep playing hard to get, then one night you stop caring and have the best sex you've had in a while, and then see where it goes from there. If it doesn't work out, at least you had good sex. If it does work out, you're going to have more sex later. Isn't that what we all instinctively desire?
On October 23 2009 23:39 fanatacist wrote: Nevuk you never know until you try. If you have chemistry it's for a reason. That reason is usually not some divine irony where you both like each other but would have a terrible relationship. Mutual attraction can make even polar opposite personalities mesh well. My suggestion is to keep playing hard to get, then one night you stop caring and have the best sex you've had in a while, and then see where it goes from there. If it doesn't work out, at least you had good sex. If it does work out, you're going to have more sex later. Isn't that what we all instinctively desire?
We all instinctively desire it, but I don't think it is the "driving force" behind what pushes some men into relationships. Guys certainly get "butterflies" over things not sexually related when it comes to women I believe.
edit: changed "most men" to "some men" in retrospect LOL
On October 23 2009 23:39 fanatacist wrote: Nevuk you never know until you try. If you have chemistry it's for a reason. That reason is usually not some divine irony where you both like each other but would have a terrible relationship. Mutual attraction can make even polar opposite personalities mesh well. My suggestion is to keep playing hard to get, then one night you stop caring and have the best sex you've had in a while, and then see where it goes from there. If it doesn't work out, at least you had good sex. If it does work out, you're going to have more sex later. Isn't that what we all instinctively desire?
We all instinctively desire it, but I don't think it is the "driving force" behind what pushes some men into relationships. Guys certainly get "butterflies" over things not sexually related when it comes to women I believe.
edit: changed "most men" to "some men" in retrospect LOL
What I'm trying to say is this is a win-win situation under a thin veil of disguise. Sex is still better than no sex, and in the long run a failed relationship can be harmless if you approach it with a level mind.
Also, I am glad to see that I am recieving PMs every day still, keep it up until the new thread comes. If you would like a question answered by me, PM it to me. I wont be active much on this thread, but much more on the new thread after I make it.
On October 23 2009 00:38 Licmyobelisk wrote: Hello!
I've been reading this thread and I found alot of great advice, I'm just going to ask a very simple question:
How do you bring out the Bi-sexual in a woman, one of my wish list before I die is that I want to have three-way sex with two chicks and me only.. So like, what advice can you give to me for me to bring out that "dude" within my girl? I mean, she has a tendency of being very,very appreciative of beautiful women.. which of course I want to use in my advantage but she doesn't want to share me to somebody else..
Man, I'm going to try out your advice but if it doesn't work it's pretty ok.. I've tried before just that it my style doesn't seem to work.
Also, please include that living in a Christian Country, the women here are very conservative even the prostitutes (no kidding). Like I wanted to try 2 on 1 battle with them on the bed, but one told me she can't do it because the girl she was with wasn't her bestfriend, man, her bestfriend look's like it would look like a manage-de-twa between two men and 1 girl.
But anyway, enough of that story.. I would like to ask for anytips regarding this.. I am a man of goals and love, and love-making is one of them.
Thank you very very much! The Obelisk
Yes, I would also like this song to be part of the love:
On October 23 2009 23:39 fanatacist wrote: Nevuk you never know until you try. If you have chemistry it's for a reason. That reason is usually not some divine irony where you both like each other but would have a terrible relationship. Mutual attraction can make even polar opposite personalities mesh well. My suggestion is to keep playing hard to get, then one night you stop caring and have the best sex you've had in a while, and then see where it goes from there. If it doesn't work out, at least you had good sex. If it does work out, you're going to have more sex later. Isn't that what we all instinctively desire?
Hmm, that makes sense. I guess I've just been resisting it because I knew it would never be anything more than a 1 week fling type deal, but there's nothing wrong with that.
On October 23 2009 23:39 fanatacist wrote: Nevuk you never know until you try. If you have chemistry it's for a reason. That reason is usually not some divine irony where you both like each other but would have a terrible relationship. Mutual attraction can make even polar opposite personalities mesh well. My suggestion is to keep playing hard to get, then one night you stop caring and have the best sex you've had in a while, and then see where it goes from there. If it doesn't work out, at least you had good sex. If it does work out, you're going to have more sex later. Isn't that what we all instinctively desire?
We all instinctively desire it, but I don't think it is the "driving force" behind what pushes some men into relationships. Guys certainly get "butterflies" over things not sexually related when it comes to women I believe.
edit: changed "most men" to "some men" in retrospect LOL
What I'm trying to say is this is a win-win situation under a thin veil of disguise. Sex is still better than no sex, and in the long run a failed relationship can be harmless if you approach it with a level mind.
This is wrong on so many levels. Operational word in your post should be CAN. A failed relationship can be a bag of misery too. And I've met plenty of women who get pretty damn crazy when they have sex and then the relationship falls apart. My mind was level, but hers sure as hell wasn't! Sex is quite often not better, in fact many of them end up being big mistakes that leave both parties worse off. Maybe it's just a difference in ethics, but I'm not big on casual sex as I've seen the damage it causes one too many times.
On October 23 2009 23:39 fanatacist wrote: Nevuk you never know until you try. If you have chemistry it's for a reason. That reason is usually not some divine irony where you both like each other but would have a terrible relationship. Mutual attraction can make even polar opposite personalities mesh well. My suggestion is to keep playing hard to get, then one night you stop caring and have the best sex you've had in a while, and then see where it goes from there. If it doesn't work out, at least you had good sex. If it does work out, you're going to have more sex later. Isn't that what we all instinctively desire?
We all instinctively desire it, but I don't think it is the "driving force" behind what pushes some men into relationships. Guys certainly get "butterflies" over things not sexually related when it comes to women I believe.
edit: changed "most men" to "some men" in retrospect LOL
What I'm trying to say is this is a win-win situation under a thin veil of disguise. Sex is still better than no sex, and in the long run a failed relationship can be harmless if you approach it with a level mind.
This is wrong on so many levels. Operational word in your post should be CAN. A failed relationship can be a bag of misery too. And I've met plenty of women who get pretty damn crazy when they have sex and then the relationship falls apart. My mind was level, but hers sure as hell wasn't! Sex is quite often not better, in fact many of them end up being big mistakes that leave both parties worse off. Maybe it's just a difference in ethics, but I'm not big on casual sex as I've seen the damage it causes one too many times.
There is no right or wrong, you gotta get that feelings nonsense outta your heads. Life is hard, and relationships are the hardest portion of it. Would it be any better when a prolonged relationship gets ruined when partners find out they just cant do it for each other in bed? There is no way of not getting fucked over when it comes to women.
On October 23 2009 23:39 fanatacist wrote: Nevuk you never know until you try. If you have chemistry it's for a reason. That reason is usually not some divine irony where you both like each other but would have a terrible relationship. Mutual attraction can make even polar opposite personalities mesh well. My suggestion is to keep playing hard to get, then one night you stop caring and have the best sex you've had in a while, and then see where it goes from there. If it doesn't work out, at least you had good sex. If it does work out, you're going to have more sex later. Isn't that what we all instinctively desire?
We all instinctively desire it, but I don't think it is the "driving force" behind what pushes some men into relationships. Guys certainly get "butterflies" over things not sexually related when it comes to women I believe.
edit: changed "most men" to "some men" in retrospect LOL
What I'm trying to say is this is a win-win situation under a thin veil of disguise. Sex is still better than no sex, and in the long run a failed relationship can be harmless if you approach it with a level mind.
This is wrong on so many levels. Operational word in your post should be CAN. A failed relationship can be a bag of misery too. And I've met plenty of women who get pretty damn crazy when they have sex and then the relationship falls apart. My mind was level, but hers sure as hell wasn't! Sex is quite often not better, in fact many of them end up being big mistakes that leave both parties worse off. Maybe it's just a difference in ethics, but I'm not big on casual sex as I've seen the damage it causes one too many times.
Nah, in this case it would be fine as she has a history of doing it.
On October 23 2009 23:39 fanatacist wrote: Nevuk you never know until you try. If you have chemistry it's for a reason. That reason is usually not some divine irony where you both like each other but would have a terrible relationship. Mutual attraction can make even polar opposite personalities mesh well. My suggestion is to keep playing hard to get, then one night you stop caring and have the best sex you've had in a while, and then see where it goes from there. If it doesn't work out, at least you had good sex. If it does work out, you're going to have more sex later. Isn't that what we all instinctively desire?
We all instinctively desire it, but I don't think it is the "driving force" behind what pushes some men into relationships. Guys certainly get "butterflies" over things not sexually related when it comes to women I believe.
edit: changed "most men" to "some men" in retrospect LOL
What I'm trying to say is this is a win-win situation under a thin veil of disguise. Sex is still better than no sex, and in the long run a failed relationship can be harmless if you approach it with a level mind.
This is wrong on so many levels. Operational word in your post should be CAN. A failed relationship can be a bag of misery too. And I've met plenty of women who get pretty damn crazy when they have sex and then the relationship falls apart. My mind was level, but hers sure as hell wasn't! Sex is quite often not better, in fact many of them end up being big mistakes that leave both parties worse off. Maybe it's just a difference in ethics, but I'm not big on casual sex as I've seen the damage it causes one too many times.
There is no right or wrong, you gotta get that feelings nonsense outta your heads. Life is hard, and relationships are the hardest portion of it. Would it be any better when a prolonged relationship gets ruined when partners find out they just cant do it for each other in bed? There is no way of not getting fucked over when it comes to women.
That's really unusual unless the girl is just really sexually unresponsive (generally with hormone deficiencies) or one of them is terrible at sex, or one has a weird kink the other doesn't. Like the girls who try and chew on your ear until it's freaking bloody, that's just painful after a few minutes.
You don't understand what I meant - in his case a relationship can be harmless because he doesn't really care about her. If he does then it's a different problem, but it's not like he loves her or will any time soon if he has the presence of mind to not want to date her now.
No fana, sex is not better than no sex. Hell, it's more fun to penetrate your own hand than alot of women out there. :D
Anyways, I advocate "weird" behavior but with confidence. Anything that gets you to talk to women is gold basically. And I'm not talking at parties now where people are supposed to talk to strangers but in the street, at the pharmacists, at a café etc.
So sitting and laughing about something to yourself at a cafe when a girl is sitting nearby, sets yourself up to tell her what you are laughing about when she looks at you like "?" You go "haha it's funny you know..." and then tell whatever. From there on talk about general stuff and don't ask questions ever in the beginning, state things. For example "I love this café, it's cousy and people are cool". That tells her that she is cool and cousy as well because she's there, which sets a positive frame about you two talking. After some little chit-chat ask some random stuff about her, but very playful and like you don't really care about her answers. Finally just go, "you know, you are actually very cute but you remind me too much of my little sister" which makes her go "what does he mean?" and when asks you what you mean you go "i have this crazy idea, how about taking a cup of coffee tonight?" And say it very casually. Basically, don't buy into her questions too much, you don't have to validate yourself to her just yet.
One thing the main character in "californication" is good at is to keep the momentum up and constantly mumble and talk, which is very relaxing for a woman.
On October 25 2009 01:50 fanatacist wrote: I thought it didn't need to be said that bad sex does not constitute as sex and is therefore not a part of the rule "sex is better than no sex."
Alrighty then!
Maybe it's my age but casual sex for has gotten quite old
On October 25 2009 01:50 fanatacist wrote: I thought it didn't need to be said that bad sex does not constitute as sex and is therefore not a part of the rule "sex is better than no sex."
lol love the back and forth here, but yeah, I didn't know you had that caveat. Guess I'm at that time where casual is more headache than fun too...
On October 25 2009 01:50 fanatacist wrote: I thought it didn't need to be said that bad sex does not constitute as sex and is therefore not a part of the rule "sex is better than no sex."
lol love the back and forth here, but yeah, I didn't know you had that caveat. Guess I'm at that time where casual is more headache than fun too...
On October 25 2009 01:50 fanatacist wrote: I thought it didn't need to be said that bad sex does not constitute as sex and is therefore not a part of the rule "sex is better than no sex."
Alrighty then!
Maybe it's my age but casual sex for has gotten quite old
I agree with your POV on casual sex, and im only 23, however i prefer to have sex based relationships and see how it goes from here. If there is anything other people's example has proven to me its that relationships that lack in the sack simply dont work. It's not even about not having bad sex, its about having great sex. And before any of the younger visitors of this site read this and panic about their inexperience and/or asian-sized penis, its not about that either. I mean sure u can be naturally gifted in the bed, but u can be not. Even in bed communication is the key and getting ur partner to open up his/her needs to you can get you farther than a 9 inch dick. Well, not really, but it can get u pretty damn far.
On October 25 2009 01:50 fanatacist wrote: I thought it didn't need to be said that bad sex does not constitute as sex and is therefore not a part of the rule "sex is better than no sex."
Alrighty then!
Maybe it's my age but casual sex for has gotten quite old
I agree with your POV on casual sex, and im only 23, however i prefer to have sex based relationships and see how it goes from here. If there is anything other people's example has proven to me its that relationships that lack in the sack simply dont work. It's not even about not having bad sex, its about having great sex. And before any of the younger visitors of this site read this and panic about their inexperience and/or asian-sized penis, its not about that either. I mean sure u can be naturally gifted in the bed, but u can be not. Even in bed communication is the key and getting ur partner to open up his/her needs to you can get you farther than a 9 inch dick. Well, not really, but it can get u pretty damn far.
I can have casual sex with random girls but if there's someone I really like and am attracted to for real, like there could be love, I don't like to get in bed right away. I want her to be a bit hard and wait a month until we have sex. Why? Because tension and feelings build up which makes sex an even more intense emotional experience + it's with a girl you REALLY like which tenfolds the awesomeness.
communication is mad key . giving and taking is the gospel for good sex
Guys want to have sex, so they chase after women who seem to not want to have sex. However, women know they want to have sex, so they have to pretend they don't want to have sex so that guys try harder to get them to have sex so that when they finally have sex the guy tries harder and feels like he is the one being blessed because he gets to have sex even though it benefits both of them equally. Men who know that women want to have sex have developed tactics that help circumvent this process in which the man is fooled by the woman's facade, but in doing so men are inadvertently trying just as hard as before but with a different mindset. The women respond to this different mindset by playing into the hands of the men, so the men think they are in control, but many women already know about these tactics and are therefore resisting them but are deceiving the men into THINKING they are in control when really the woman knows what's going on. In effect, this means that they are neutralizing the man's desire to assert dominance in the relationship by giving him the illusion that he already has dominance through his seduction tactics. When more women take this evolutionary step in the chess game that is relationship management, men will have to come up with a new response to the illusory approach of women to the "new" male seduction techniques, which will generate underground hype and lead a few people to moderate success until women make take the obvious counter-measure to any deviation from the pre-existing norm of male behavior.
On October 25 2009 04:12 fanatacist wrote: It's more complex than that man.
Guys want to have sex, so they chase after women who seem to not want to have sex. However, women know they want to have sex, so they have to pretend they don't want to have sex so that guys try harder to get them to have sex so that when they finally have sex the guy tries harder and feels like he is the one being blessed because he gets to have sex even though it benefits both of them equally. Men who know that women want to have sex have developed tactics that help circumvent this process in which the man is fooled by the woman's facade, but in doing so men are inadvertently trying just as hard as before but with a different mindset. The women respond to this different mindset by playing into the hands of the men, so the men think they are in control, but many women already know about these tactics and are therefore resisting them but are deceiving the men into THINKING they are in control when really the woman knows what's going on. In effect, this means that they are neutralizing the man's desire to assert dominance in the relationship by giving him the illusion that he already has dominance through his seduction tactics. When more women take this evolutionary step in the chess game that is relationship management, men will have to come up with a new response to the illusory approach of women to the "new" male seduction techniques, which will generate underground hype and lead a few people to moderate success until women make take the obvious counter-measure to any deviation from the pre-existing norm of male behavior.
and thus the metagame takes another step forward! Come on men! We need to micro our HTs better!!
Girls like penis. Girls understand that they must go through men to obtain said dick. While it is a hassle, they enjoy the attention as a compensator (and even overly so). Basically, we are a dildo that can tell them they are pretty at the same time.
On October 25 2009 04:12 fanatacist wrote: It's more complex than that man.
Guys want to have sex, so they chase after women who seem to not want to have sex. However, women know they want to have sex, so they have to pretend they don't want to have sex so that guys try harder to get them to have sex so that when they finally have sex the guy tries harder and feels like he is the one being blessed because he gets to have sex even though it benefits both of them equally. Men who know that women want to have sex have developed tactics that help circumvent this process in which the man is fooled by the woman's facade, but in doing so men are inadvertently trying just as hard as before but with a different mindset. The women respond to this different mindset by playing into the hands of the men, so the men think they are in control, but many women already know about these tactics and are therefore resisting them but are deceiving the men into THINKING they are in control when really the woman knows what's going on. In effect, this means that they are neutralizing the man's desire to assert dominance in the relationship by giving him the illusion that he already has dominance through his seduction tactics. When more women take this evolutionary step in the chess game that is relationship management, men will have to come up with a new response to the illusory approach of women to the "new" male seduction techniques, which will generate underground hype and lead a few people to moderate success until women make take the obvious counter-measure to any deviation from the pre-existing norm of male behavior.
and thus the metagame takes another step forward! Come on men! We need to micro our HTs better!!
I for one believe macro heavy games are the next generation, not micro games.
It's easier to win with 10 shots of whiskey in a woman's system and less witty banter, than it is to win with 5 shots of whiskey and witty banter.
On October 25 2009 04:12 fanatacist wrote: It's more complex than that man.
Guys want to have sex, so they chase after women who seem to not want to have sex. However, women know they want to have sex, so they have to pretend they don't want to have sex so that guys try harder to get them to have sex so that when they finally have sex the guy tries harder and feels like he is the one being blessed because he gets to have sex even though it benefits both of them equally. Men who know that women want to have sex have developed tactics that help circumvent this process in which the man is fooled by the woman's facade, but in doing so men are inadvertently trying just as hard as before but with a different mindset. The women respond to this different mindset by playing into the hands of the men, so the men think they are in control, but many women already know about these tactics and are therefore resisting them but are deceiving the men into THINKING they are in control when really the woman knows what's going on. In effect, this means that they are neutralizing the man's desire to assert dominance in the relationship by giving him the illusion that he already has dominance through his seduction tactics. When more women take this evolutionary step in the chess game that is relationship management, men will have to come up with a new response to the illusory approach of women to the "new" male seduction techniques, which will generate underground hype and lead a few people to moderate success until women make take the obvious counter-measure to any deviation from the pre-existing norm of male behavior.
and thus the metagame takes another step forward! Come on men! We need to micro our HTs better!!
I for one believe macro heavy games are the next generation, not micro games.
It's easier to win with 10 shots of whiskey in a woman's system and less witty banter, than it is to win with 5 shots of whiskey and witty banter.
While I admire your sentiment, that's no longer witty bantering with a woman. 10 shots of whiskey is more like she's half-catatonic and drooling on herself.
On October 25 2009 04:12 fanatacist wrote: It's more complex than that man.
Guys want to have sex, so they chase after women who seem to not want to have sex. However, women know they want to have sex, so they have to pretend they don't want to have sex so that guys try harder to get them to have sex so that when they finally have sex the guy tries harder and feels like he is the one being blessed because he gets to have sex even though it benefits both of them equally. Men who know that women want to have sex have developed tactics that help circumvent this process in which the man is fooled by the woman's facade, but in doing so men are inadvertently trying just as hard as before but with a different mindset. The women respond to this different mindset by playing into the hands of the men, so the men think they are in control, but many women already know about these tactics and are therefore resisting them but are deceiving the men into THINKING they are in control when really the woman knows what's going on. In effect, this means that they are neutralizing the man's desire to assert dominance in the relationship by giving him the illusion that he already has dominance through his seduction tactics. When more women take this evolutionary step in the chess game that is relationship management, men will have to come up with a new response to the illusory approach of women to the "new" male seduction techniques, which will generate underground hype and lead a few people to moderate success until women make take the obvious counter-measure to any deviation from the pre-existing norm of male behavior.
and thus the metagame takes another step forward! Come on men! We need to micro our HTs better!!
I for one believe macro heavy games are the next generation, not micro games.
It's easier to win with 10 shots of whiskey in a woman's system and less witty banter, than it is to win with 5 shots of whiskey and witty banter.
While I admire your sentiment, that's no longer witty bantering with a woman. 10 shots of whiskey is more like she's half-catatonic and drooling on herself.
StorkHwaiting wrote: I know women who go to parties take a few shots and get hammered because they aren't accustomed to leaving their habits of drinking only bitch drinks behind. Sorry that my men don't have beards and manly alcohol retention levels.
On October 25 2009 23:53 Garnet wrote: Girls get attracted to me very fast but when they get to know the real me they start to hate me :D Dunno if I should feel lucky or not.
You have good attraction and netting factor, but either have poor interpersonal relationship management or moral issues. Fix this by treating people a little better than you would normally and watching what you say, also constantly strive to improve yourself (get rid of bad habits, improve manners, get more hobbies, don't get high/drunk too often, etc.). All of these will help with long-term relationships, if you want help that is.
On October 25 2009 23:53 Garnet wrote: Girls get attracted to me very fast but when they get to know the real me they start to hate me :D Dunno if I should feel lucky or not.
You have good attraction and netting factor, but either have poor interpersonal relationship management or moral issues. Fix this by treating people a little better than you would normally and watching what you say, also constantly strive to improve yourself (get rid of bad habits, improve manners, get more hobbies, don't get high/drunk too often, etc.). All of these will help with long-term relationships, if you want help that is.
That's my problem too, I will attract hot girls then when its time for a relationship I am an asshole and just play sc and don't talk to them or something then they begin to hate me or pretend to friend zone me because they see that I would be a bad boyfriend. Then again thats not too bad of a thing because I dont have to deal with hanging out with one single girl all the time
On October 25 2009 23:53 Garnet wrote: Girls get attracted to me very fast but when they get to know the real me they start to hate me :D Dunno if I should feel lucky or not.
You have good attraction and netting factor, but either have poor interpersonal relationship management or moral issues. Fix this by treating people a little better than you would normally and watching what you say, also constantly strive to improve yourself (get rid of bad habits, improve manners, get more hobbies, don't get high/drunk too often, etc.). All of these will help with long-term relationships, if you want help that is.
That's my problem too, I will attract hot girls then when its time for a relationship I am an asshole and just play sc and don't talk to them or something then they begin to hate me or pretend to friend zone me because they see that I would be a bad boyfriend. Then again thats not too bad of a thing because I dont have to deal with hanging out with one single girl all the time
Im a dick
Well the thing is if the girl doesn't interest you enough to make time for her over StarCraft, you two weren't really going to have a healthy relationship anyway. Better to let those pass and get new girls. Nothing wrong with that.
On October 25 2009 23:53 Garnet wrote: Girls get attracted to me very fast but when they get to know the real me they start to hate me :D Dunno if I should feel lucky or not.
You have good attraction and netting factor, but either have poor interpersonal relationship management or moral issues. Fix this by treating people a little better than you would normally and watching what you say, also constantly strive to improve yourself (get rid of bad habits, improve manners, get more hobbies, don't get high/drunk too often, etc.). All of these will help with long-term relationships, if you want help that is.
That's my problem too, I will attract hot girls then when its time for a relationship I am an asshole and just play sc and don't talk to them or something then they begin to hate me or pretend to friend zone me because they see that I would be a bad boyfriend. Then again thats not too bad of a thing because I dont have to deal with hanging out with one single girl all the time
Im a dick
Well the thing is if the girl doesn't interest you enough to make time for her over StarCraft, you two weren't really going to have a healthy relationship anyway. Better to let those pass and get new girls. Nothing wrong with that.
Yea i always tell myself that but sometimes i feel pretty bad about it, i just cant force myself to put effort in to make girls feel "special" when i know i could. Maybe I will just have to wait for a girl that really matters to me... It just sucks because they think I dont give a shit about them and I really do, just not enough to try super hard to impress them ...
On October 25 2009 23:53 Garnet wrote: Girls get attracted to me very fast but when they get to know the real me they start to hate me :D Dunno if I should feel lucky or not.
You have good attraction and netting factor, but either have poor interpersonal relationship management or moral issues. Fix this by treating people a little better than you would normally and watching what you say, also constantly strive to improve yourself (get rid of bad habits, improve manners, get more hobbies, don't get high/drunk too often, etc.). All of these will help with long-term relationships, if you want help that is.
That's my problem too, I will attract hot girls then when its time for a relationship I am an asshole and just play sc and don't talk to them or something then they begin to hate me or pretend to friend zone me because they see that I would be a bad boyfriend. Then again thats not too bad of a thing because I dont have to deal with hanging out with one single girl all the time
Im a dick
Well the thing is if the girl doesn't interest you enough to make time for her over StarCraft, you two weren't really going to have a healthy relationship anyway. Better to let those pass and get new girls. Nothing wrong with that.
Yea i always tell myself that but sometimes i feel pretty bad about it, i just cant force myself to put effort in to make girls feel "special" when i know i could. Maybe I will just have to wait for a girl that really matters to me... It just sucks because they think I dont give a shit about them and I really do, just not enough to try super hard to impress them ...
Then in their eyes you really don't give a shit about them. It's not a sin to accept that you haven't found someone that makes you act differently, not because you have to try but because they are that special to you that you do it naturally. I think deceiving girls into thinking that they are worth more to you than they really are is worse than showing that you don't care.
I guess there is a fine line between whats worth doing and whats not. I firmly believe that unless you have incredible feelings for someone for a long period of time that you should never pursue anyone if the pursuing makes you change who you are. Then if you finally obtain what you are chasing you fail because you cannot completely change yourself no matter how much you think you can... It just sucks sometimes because it feels like im missing out on so many relationships even though deep down i know it would just hurt me later. I should probably start taking more chances.
On October 26 2009 04:58 Hypnosis wrote: I guess there is a fine line between whats worth doing and whats not. I firmly believe that unless you have incredible feelings for someone for a long period of time that you should never pursue anyone if the pursuing makes you change who you are. Then if you finally obtain what you are chasing you fail because you cannot completely change yourself no matter how much you think you can... It just sucks sometimes because it feels like im missing out on so many relationships even though deep down i know it would just hurt me later. I should probably start taking more chances.
Chances are not what it's about. If you don't FEEL the need to put in more effort, and are just doing so because you want to make something out what could potentially be nothing, it's a waste of time.
On October 26 2009 04:58 Hypnosis wrote: I guess there is a fine line between whats worth doing and whats not. I firmly believe that unless you have incredible feelings for someone for a long period of time that you should never pursue anyone if the pursuing makes you change who you are. Then if you finally obtain what you are chasing you fail because you cannot completely change yourself no matter how much you think you can... It just sucks sometimes because it feels like im missing out on so many relationships even though deep down i know it would just hurt me later. I should probably start taking more chances.
mmm...not sure.... a) success b) confidence c) stories/jokes/a quick mind d) good looks (earning money for a facelift) e) nice stuff/good job f) a lifestyle/job you are happy with g) being knowledgeable h) being ripped i) decent social success/cool friends
go earn each and one of those and then if the girl still doesnt like you maybe its time to gg
On October 25 2009 23:53 Garnet wrote: Girls get attracted to me very fast but when they get to know the real me they start to hate me :D Dunno if I should feel lucky or not.
You have good attraction and netting factor, but either have poor interpersonal relationship management or moral issues. Fix this by treating people a little better than you would normally and watching what you say, also constantly strive to improve yourself (get rid of bad habits, improve manners, get more hobbies, don't get high/drunk too often, etc.). All of these will help with long-term relationships, if you want help that is.
That's my problem too, I will attract hot girls then when its time for a relationship I am an asshole and just play sc and don't talk to them or something then they begin to hate me or pretend to friend zone me because they see that I would be a bad boyfriend. Then again thats not too bad of a thing because I dont have to deal with hanging out with one single girl all the time
Im a dick
Well the thing is if the girl doesn't interest you enough to make time for her over StarCraft, you two weren't really going to have a healthy relationship anyway. Better to let those pass and get new girls. Nothing wrong with that.
Yea i always tell myself that but sometimes i feel pretty bad about it, i just cant force myself to put effort in to make girls feel "special" when i know i could. Maybe I will just have to wait for a girl that really matters to me... It just sucks because they think I dont give a shit about them and I really do, just not enough to try super hard to impress them ...
Then in their eyes you really don't give a shit about them. It's not a sin to accept that you haven't found someone that makes you act differently, not because you have to try but because they are that special to you that you do it naturally. I think deceiving girls into thinking that they are worth more to you than they really are is worse than showing that you don't care.
tbh in contrast to this i think its important to note that many (guys) do find it difficult to "show" their real feelings in a day-to-day setting. just like people who have shitty voices and often sound like theyre being arrogant when in their mind theyre being playful. or people with shitty voices who think theyre being comedic when really they sound annoying and whiney.
the guy says he "really does" give a shit - it just doesnt come across like that for whatever multitude of reasons. i sympathise with this and recommend you read books on communication, listening etc.
for example: im a great listener (or thought i was). until i met this girl. she told me that i never seem to listen to her and just ignore what she says. i was obv shocked!!!
it so happened that "my" way of responding to someone after listening to them was to present an arguement immediately. what "she" wanted to hear, BEFORE an arguement was presented, was confirmation that i'd heard her sentences eg responding frequently with "mmm", "ok", "i understand" and reiterating what she'd said. she just didnt believe that i had taken in what she'd been saying unless i communicated these iois
On October 26 2009 04:58 Hypnosis wrote: I guess there is a fine line between whats worth doing and whats not. I firmly believe that unless you have incredible feelings for someone for a long period of time that you should never pursue anyone if the pursuing makes you change who you are. Then if you finally obtain what you are chasing you fail because you cannot completely change yourself no matter how much you think you can... It just sucks sometimes because it feels like im missing out on so many relationships even though deep down i know it would just hurt me later. I should probably start taking more chances.
mmm...not sure.... a) success b) confidence c) stories/jokes/a quick mind d) good looks (earning money for a facelift) e) nice stuff/good job f) a lifestyle/job you are happy with g) being knowledgeable h) being ripped i) decent social success/cool friends
go earn each and one of those and then if the girl still doesnt like you maybe its time to gg
Those are the qualities you need to ATTRACT people, not keep people in your life. Although obviously if you are in good standing with all of them its quite a bit easier. Im not necessarily lacking these (im not ripped though () its just my mindset when it comes to girls. Ive gotten fucked over by being too nice and fucked over by being too mean. Gotta find a happy medium and I haven't yet, thats all.
hah well i see it differently tbh - to ATTRACT someone you can do some bullshit/fake some things/give the IMPRESSION that you have those qualities, but to keep someone you need those qualities sustained/proved. probably what you're saying is that you have a shitty personality OR that once you "win" a girl you treat her in a certain way and that messes up. imo once you've "won" a girl you shouldn't be relying (or want to rely) on anything other than your natural self (and o/c your "qualities").... then if it doesnt work out then you know shes not "the one". iono i probably should read your posts before erplying
On October 26 2009 06:31 biomedical wrote: hah well i see it differently tbh - to ATTRACT someone you can do some bullshit/fake some things/give the IMPRESSION that you have those qualities, but to keep someone you need those qualities sustained/proved. probably what you're saying is that you have a shitty personality OR that once you "win" a girl you treat her in a certain way and that messes up. imo once you've "won" a girl you shouldn't be relying (or want to rely) on anything other than your natural self (and o/c your "qualities").... then if it doesnt work out then you know shes not "the one". iono i probably should read your posts before erplying
Maybe I have a really shitty personality! Thats pretty had to believe though because i tend to keep close friends (who really get to know you) so that means that they like my personality. I kind of look at my from an observational point of view at the moment because Im am busy with school and don't want a relationship but when its summer or break i feel kind of mad about it lol.
On October 24 2009 05:35 fanatacist wrote: Good mentality.
Ash said it best with, "To catch them is our real test, but to train them is our cause."
Ever since I adopted the "Gotta Catch 'Em All" philosophy, my success to failure ratio has drastically increased.
What improved my overall life is this quote: ''The difference between extraordinary and ordinary is that little extra.
...and this too:'' Tohave what you have never had you must do what you have never done.
Said that, if you want a girl forget shyness, act like a man and do not sent mixed signals all the time, be clear and honest, and NEVER NEVER NEVER act clingy and needy that autoamtically turns girls off. You must first create and exciting and interesting life as a single (that means doing interesting stuff like hiking, dancing, not having a lot of spare time as that brings boredom in it) and by doing that you send a signal that you are happy with it so the girls tries to be part of it. You chose the girls, not the way around
Oftentimes I am told to use the line, "That's amazing! I can't even talk to you now." Then is followed by a back turn, or an indicator of disinterest. This is a follow-up to a simple question like, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I don't understand the "I can't even talk to you now," part. Now you share an interest. That is NOT a reason to stop talking on the subject. I understand that once you share interests it helps to make you seem unattainable again, but this line is very confusing to me. The girl naturally will think about what the hell you mean by that rather than thinking you an awesome guy.
Every time I use this line I'm asked "What does that mean? 'I can't even talk to you now.'" How do you respond to that? This phrase makes NO sense after finding common interests and I can't defend it. My only thought is if she asks this it means she's interested because otherwise she wouldn't care. I've tried, "Well, it's just too right." followed again by a back turn, but that just raises the strangeness of the situation.
Is the best action simply to move on quickly so the girl doesn't dwell on it? After all, once she is interested it doesn't matter what you said.
drop the gimmicks, sure they work for some guys, but you probably look awkward enough as it is when talking to girls(don't we all). The problem with interest is when you're interesting ure a promising prospect, but when u find her interesting ure friendzoned. That has to deal with the fact that when at the end of the day you go home u can call up some friends and theyll find you interesting. When she does it she can call up a bunch o friends who find shoes interesting. You just gotta drop ur suave and come out with ur intentions. Find her interesting after u asked her out. She can even blow u off at first, but now she knows she cant friendzone u. And if u do get there by some chance, just inform her that u would love to be friends, but u like her too much. That's all u can do. Talk. Truth. Stop making some weird yes that means no, secret hand sign, miracle seduction system bullshit. We're men not women. And even if you wont be picking up as many women as well versed in bullshit PUA's who cares. At least you still have ur dignity.
On October 26 2009 06:31 biomedical wrote: hah well i see it differently tbh - to ATTRACT someone you can do some bullshit/fake some things/give the IMPRESSION that you have those qualities, but to keep someone you need those qualities sustained/proved. probably what you're saying is that you have a shitty personality OR that once you "win" a girl you treat her in a certain way and that messes up. imo once you've "won" a girl you shouldn't be relying (or want to rely) on anything other than your natural self (and o/c your "qualities").... then if it doesnt work out then you know shes not "the one". iono i probably should read your posts before erplying
that is a fairy tale son. You can't rely on yourself. Relationship is work and first and foremost it is work on self improvement. And you should be thankful for that chance to become more compassionate, patient and understanding. Nobody loves u for who you are. The people who love u love u despite who u are.
Guys guys guys, getting girls is easy, why are we having arguments about this? It's like an in-depth personal feud about the mechanics of rock-paper-scissors. Just realize that you are arguing about one of the easiest games in the world, shake hands and call it quits.
On October 26 2009 14:45 F[5]aLaMaT wrote: as bad as it sounds, just stalk the girl for a while and get to know her first without knowing her.
Creepiest worst advice ever. If you get caught you're fucked, and if you don't get caught you're still a creep who will probably develop severe neurotic behavior afterward.
On October 26 2009 14:45 F[5]aLaMaT wrote: as bad as it sounds, just stalk the girl for a while and get to know her first without knowing her.
Creepiest worst advice ever. If you get caught you're fucked, and if you don't get caught you're still a creep who will probably develop severe neurotic behavior afterward.
rape her before u have sex with her, learn what she likes in bed!
Guys, before taking any advice in any relationship thread, treat it like you would a starcraft thread in the strategy forum. That is, how much of this advice is dished out by people who actually play the game and are good at it, and how much of this advice is flat out theory crafting?
I'm lucky enough to have befriended a few guys who have some serious game. Guys who have one night stands, date models, athletes, fuck buddies, multiple women at once and who date the love of their lives exclusively; Guys who have girls chase THEM with (frustrating) regularity. These guys can walk into pretty much any social situation, be it a club or a classroom and make instant social circles WHILE choosing and attracting the girl that they want to (boyfriend or no boyfriend).
I've had hour long conversations with these about this very topic and I've tried to apply what I've learned in varying degrees of success.
I think the "simplest" breakdown of these guys and others' success with women is as follows. You can divide it into macro and micro.
Macro = The big picture. Lifestyle & logistics. The common thread among my friends (the ones who are A+ at this) is that they have their shit together. They have a passion that they put above everything else, including their relationships. This makes them happier, allows them to be HAPPY being ALONE, and they talk with such passion that it sucks other people into their world. All the positive benefits seep into every aspect of their lives. They have also have a lot of hobbies. And, not only do they have MANY social circles but they have one main group of (like-minded people), usually consisting of ultra supportive, positive, honest, ambitious and loyal friends who also want to grow in some way. These guys provide an endless source of positive energy and fun.
This also includes mental attitudes and belief systems. These guys have strong convictions, beliefs about life, sex, relationships, and on how to live that are sound and that influence their actions on an everyday level. They are eager to share and to show these values and attitudes. For example, the belief that high abundance and choice creates non-neediness, and that non-neediness should be a highly sought after goal. All these things add up to an attractive lifestyle. And it creates highly magnetic traits like non-neediness, non giving a shit, being confident and having faith in yourself, having a high self-esteem, living life passionately, and being a source of fun (i.e. the life of the party).
Then comes the "micro" skills such as conversation techniques. There are certain skills that make these guys just immediately deadly.... lol. Mutual agreement (They have an uncanny ability to be able to get people to agree with what they say and their values), the ability to sexualize the interaction, the ability to LEAD and to escalate an interaction. They way in which they can just work rooms. Even the way they use their eyes, vocal tonality, and how they touch people and girls can be put into this category. Also they way in which they can get people to just OPEN up, share what makes them unique, what they're passionate about, and get THEM to make more effort in the interaction than they do, SEXUAL techniques/tricks (i.e. jaw and tongue exercises that will just make your tongue and lips amazing at kissing/oral sex). Yeah, and there are a lot more "micro" skills than what I have listed.
Anyways, it's kind of a lot to digest but it's what I've learned so far, and what I have successfully applied in my own life. Macro, micro.
On October 26 2009 15:20 Warrior Madness wrote: Guys, before taking any advice in any relationship thread, treat it like you would a starcraft thread in the strategy forum. That is, how much of this advice is dished out by people who actually play the game and are good at it, and how much of this advice is flat out theory crafting?
I'm lucky enough to have befriended a few guys who have some serious game. Guys who have one night stands, date models, athletes, fuck buddies, multiple women at once and who date the love of their lives exclusively; Guys who have girls chase THEM with (frustrating) regularity. These guys can walk into pretty much any social situation, be it a club or a classroom and make instant social circles WHILE choosing and attracting the girl that they want to (boyfriend or no boyfriend).
I've had hour long conversations with these about this very topic and I've tried to apply what I've learned in varying degrees of success.
I think the "simplest" breakdown of these guys and others' success with women is as follows. You can divide it into macro and micro.
Macro = The big picture. Lifestyle & logistics. The common thread among my friends (the ones who are A+ at this) is that they have their shit together. They have a passion that they put above everything else, including their relationships. This makes them happier, allows them to be HAPPY being ALONE, and they talk with such passion that it sucks other people into their world. All the positive benefits seep into every aspect of their lives. They have also have a lot of hobbies. And, not only do they have MANY social circles but they have one main group of (like-minded people), usually consisting of ultra supportive, positive, honest, ambitious and loyal friends who also want to grow in some way. These guys provide an endless source of positive energy and fun.
This also includes mental attitudes and belief systems. These guys have strong convictions, beliefs about life, sex, relationships, and on how to live that are sound and that influence their actions on an everyday level. They are eager to share and to show these values and attitudes. For example, the belief that high abundance and choice creates non-neediness, and that non-neediness should be a highly sought after goal. All these things add up to an attractive lifestyle. And it creates highly magnetic traits like non-neediness, non giving a shit, being confident and having faith in yourself, having a high self-esteem, living life passionately, and being a source of fun (i.e. the life of the party).
Then comes the "micro" skills such as conversation techniques. There are certain skills that make these guys just immediately deadly.... lol. Mutual agreement (They have an uncanny ability to be able to get people to agree with what they say and their values), the ability to sexualize the interaction, the ability to LEAD and to escalate an interaction. They way in which they can just work rooms. Even the way they use their eyes, vocal tonality, and how they touch people and girls can be put into this category. Also they way in which they can get people to just OPEN up, share what makes them unique, what they're passionate about, and get THEM to make more effort in the interaction than they do, SEXUAL techniques/tricks (i.e. jaw and tongue exercises that will just make your tongue and lips amazing at kissing/oral sex). Yeah, and there are a lot more "micro" skills than what I have listed.
Anyways, it's kind of a lot to digest but it's what I've learned so far, and what I have successfully applied in my own life. Macro, micro.
mMMMmm... sounds like my kind of yummy guy... You forgot to state that they are atleast decent looking/bearable.
On October 26 2009 15:16 Sfydjklm wrote: Still think his advice is the creepiest?:D
That wasn't creepy that was logical and up to my moral standards. Following people is just crossing the line, I hate it when you feel like you have some pimple-face nerd breathing down my neck every step. Rape is nothing but surprise sex, and sex is nothing but corporeal pleasure - assisted masturbation. No problems there.
On October 26 2009 23:10 fanatacist wrote: Rape is nothing but surprise sex, and sex is nothing but corporeal pleasure - assisted masturbation. No problems there.
So I got a fucking situation right now... Larjarse, you may recall i was into some girl and did like every thing to impress her... Well she told me the other day how we have to be friends, bla bla bla, so i suggested we should just not see each other, but she said we should still hang out, i said ok, how about you come to my place and have tea. I pretty much decided to switch to someone else, as i thought by dropping the f bomb, she was giving me the polite boot... Well, i was watching WCG final on a school comp lab, when i met this artsy fartsy girl. She invited me to her dorm room for tea (4am after wcg finals) and read me some very erotic poetry she wrote. She ended up in my lap making out that night, just one day after the previous girl dropped the f bomb.... I invited the artsy one over for dinner on Sunday, but i get a call from the previous gal. I facebook chatted her on wcg final dayand she thought i was sarcastic when i told her how my market value increases as i approach 30, and hers decreases at the same rate, so i cannot blame her for ending up on the friend side. Anyway, she was very upset and said i read things into what she said, but i do not know how i can misunderstand when she DID say we have to be friends.... She told me how it takes time for her, and she feels like she barely knows me. Funny thing is, i have been seeing her since august, and i open up to her way more often, so yeah she knows way more about me than i know about her. So we are to meet again on tuesday, and it sounds like she wants me( this girl never had a bf or even a kiss). So the artsy girl comes by, and again we slip tongue, but she tells me she is a virgin.... But what is really fucked up, when i was sucking on her titties, she like squirted some tasteless, acidic liquid into my mouth.. can she do that without being pregnant? She does sound and act like a virgin, but what if she simply wants me to shag her so that she can say i knocked her up...????????? And what to do with the other girl who claims to want to be friends, but insists on seeing me and getting to know me better.... Wow.... wtf? advice, thoughts???
EPT
*builds ego back up again* so what do you do here? u an english teacher or something?
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