On October 26 2009 04:58 Hypnosis wrote: I guess there is a fine line between whats worth doing and whats not. I firmly believe that unless you have incredible feelings for someone for a long period of time that you should never pursue anyone if the pursuing makes you change who you are. Then if you finally obtain what you are chasing you fail because you cannot completely change yourself no matter how much you think you can... It just sucks sometimes because it feels like im missing out on so many relationships even though deep down i know it would just hurt me later. I should probably start taking more chances.
mmm...not sure.... a) success b) confidence c) stories/jokes/a quick mind d) good looks (earning money for a facelift) e) nice stuff/good job f) a lifestyle/job you are happy with g) being knowledgeable h) being ripped i) decent social success/cool friends
go earn each and one of those and then if the girl still doesnt like you maybe its time to gg
Those are the qualities you need to ATTRACT people, not keep people in your life. Although obviously if you are in good standing with all of them its quite a bit easier. Im not necessarily lacking these (im not ripped though () its just my mindset when it comes to girls. Ive gotten fucked over by being too nice and fucked over by being too mean. Gotta find a happy medium and I haven't yet, thats all.
hah well i see it differently tbh - to ATTRACT someone you can do some bullshit/fake some things/give the IMPRESSION that you have those qualities, but to keep someone you need those qualities sustained/proved. probably what you're saying is that you have a shitty personality OR that once you "win" a girl you treat her in a certain way and that messes up. imo once you've "won" a girl you shouldn't be relying (or want to rely) on anything other than your natural self (and o/c your "qualities").... then if it doesnt work out then you know shes not "the one". iono i probably should read your posts before erplying
On October 26 2009 06:31 biomedical wrote: hah well i see it differently tbh - to ATTRACT someone you can do some bullshit/fake some things/give the IMPRESSION that you have those qualities, but to keep someone you need those qualities sustained/proved. probably what you're saying is that you have a shitty personality OR that once you "win" a girl you treat her in a certain way and that messes up. imo once you've "won" a girl you shouldn't be relying (or want to rely) on anything other than your natural self (and o/c your "qualities").... then if it doesnt work out then you know shes not "the one". iono i probably should read your posts before erplying
Maybe I have a really shitty personality! Thats pretty had to believe though because i tend to keep close friends (who really get to know you) so that means that they like my personality. I kind of look at my from an observational point of view at the moment because Im am busy with school and don't want a relationship but when its summer or break i feel kind of mad about it lol.
On October 24 2009 05:35 fanatacist wrote: Good mentality.
Ash said it best with, "To catch them is our real test, but to train them is our cause."
Ever since I adopted the "Gotta Catch 'Em All" philosophy, my success to failure ratio has drastically increased.
What improved my overall life is this quote: ''The difference between extraordinary and ordinary is that little extra.
...and this too:'' Tohave what you have never had you must do what you have never done.
Said that, if you want a girl forget shyness, act like a man and do not sent mixed signals all the time, be clear and honest, and NEVER NEVER NEVER act clingy and needy that autoamtically turns girls off. You must first create and exciting and interesting life as a single (that means doing interesting stuff like hiking, dancing, not having a lot of spare time as that brings boredom in it) and by doing that you send a signal that you are happy with it so the girls tries to be part of it. You chose the girls, not the way around
Oftentimes I am told to use the line, "That's amazing! I can't even talk to you now." Then is followed by a back turn, or an indicator of disinterest. This is a follow-up to a simple question like, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I don't understand the "I can't even talk to you now," part. Now you share an interest. That is NOT a reason to stop talking on the subject. I understand that once you share interests it helps to make you seem unattainable again, but this line is very confusing to me. The girl naturally will think about what the hell you mean by that rather than thinking you an awesome guy.
Every time I use this line I'm asked "What does that mean? 'I can't even talk to you now.'" How do you respond to that? This phrase makes NO sense after finding common interests and I can't defend it. My only thought is if she asks this it means she's interested because otherwise she wouldn't care. I've tried, "Well, it's just too right." followed again by a back turn, but that just raises the strangeness of the situation.
Is the best action simply to move on quickly so the girl doesn't dwell on it? After all, once she is interested it doesn't matter what you said.
drop the gimmicks, sure they work for some guys, but you probably look awkward enough as it is when talking to girls(don't we all). The problem with interest is when you're interesting ure a promising prospect, but when u find her interesting ure friendzoned. That has to deal with the fact that when at the end of the day you go home u can call up some friends and theyll find you interesting. When she does it she can call up a bunch o friends who find shoes interesting. You just gotta drop ur suave and come out with ur intentions. Find her interesting after u asked her out. She can even blow u off at first, but now she knows she cant friendzone u. And if u do get there by some chance, just inform her that u would love to be friends, but u like her too much. That's all u can do. Talk. Truth. Stop making some weird yes that means no, secret hand sign, miracle seduction system bullshit. We're men not women. And even if you wont be picking up as many women as well versed in bullshit PUA's who cares. At least you still have ur dignity.
On October 26 2009 06:31 biomedical wrote: hah well i see it differently tbh - to ATTRACT someone you can do some bullshit/fake some things/give the IMPRESSION that you have those qualities, but to keep someone you need those qualities sustained/proved. probably what you're saying is that you have a shitty personality OR that once you "win" a girl you treat her in a certain way and that messes up. imo once you've "won" a girl you shouldn't be relying (or want to rely) on anything other than your natural self (and o/c your "qualities").... then if it doesnt work out then you know shes not "the one". iono i probably should read your posts before erplying
that is a fairy tale son. You can't rely on yourself. Relationship is work and first and foremost it is work on self improvement. And you should be thankful for that chance to become more compassionate, patient and understanding. Nobody loves u for who you are. The people who love u love u despite who u are.
Guys guys guys, getting girls is easy, why are we having arguments about this? It's like an in-depth personal feud about the mechanics of rock-paper-scissors. Just realize that you are arguing about one of the easiest games in the world, shake hands and call it quits.
On October 26 2009 14:45 F[5]aLaMaT wrote: as bad as it sounds, just stalk the girl for a while and get to know her first without knowing her.
Creepiest worst advice ever. If you get caught you're fucked, and if you don't get caught you're still a creep who will probably develop severe neurotic behavior afterward.
On October 26 2009 14:45 F[5]aLaMaT wrote: as bad as it sounds, just stalk the girl for a while and get to know her first without knowing her.
Creepiest worst advice ever. If you get caught you're fucked, and if you don't get caught you're still a creep who will probably develop severe neurotic behavior afterward.
rape her before u have sex with her, learn what she likes in bed!
Guys, before taking any advice in any relationship thread, treat it like you would a starcraft thread in the strategy forum. That is, how much of this advice is dished out by people who actually play the game and are good at it, and how much of this advice is flat out theory crafting?
I'm lucky enough to have befriended a few guys who have some serious game. Guys who have one night stands, date models, athletes, fuck buddies, multiple women at once and who date the love of their lives exclusively; Guys who have girls chase THEM with (frustrating) regularity. These guys can walk into pretty much any social situation, be it a club or a classroom and make instant social circles WHILE choosing and attracting the girl that they want to (boyfriend or no boyfriend).
I've had hour long conversations with these about this very topic and I've tried to apply what I've learned in varying degrees of success.
I think the "simplest" breakdown of these guys and others' success with women is as follows. You can divide it into macro and micro.
Macro = The big picture. Lifestyle & logistics. The common thread among my friends (the ones who are A+ at this) is that they have their shit together. They have a passion that they put above everything else, including their relationships. This makes them happier, allows them to be HAPPY being ALONE, and they talk with such passion that it sucks other people into their world. All the positive benefits seep into every aspect of their lives. They have also have a lot of hobbies. And, not only do they have MANY social circles but they have one main group of (like-minded people), usually consisting of ultra supportive, positive, honest, ambitious and loyal friends who also want to grow in some way. These guys provide an endless source of positive energy and fun.
This also includes mental attitudes and belief systems. These guys have strong convictions, beliefs about life, sex, relationships, and on how to live that are sound and that influence their actions on an everyday level. They are eager to share and to show these values and attitudes. For example, the belief that high abundance and choice creates non-neediness, and that non-neediness should be a highly sought after goal. All these things add up to an attractive lifestyle. And it creates highly magnetic traits like non-neediness, non giving a shit, being confident and having faith in yourself, having a high self-esteem, living life passionately, and being a source of fun (i.e. the life of the party).
Then comes the "micro" skills such as conversation techniques. There are certain skills that make these guys just immediately deadly.... lol. Mutual agreement (They have an uncanny ability to be able to get people to agree with what they say and their values), the ability to sexualize the interaction, the ability to LEAD and to escalate an interaction. They way in which they can just work rooms. Even the way they use their eyes, vocal tonality, and how they touch people and girls can be put into this category. Also they way in which they can get people to just OPEN up, share what makes them unique, what they're passionate about, and get THEM to make more effort in the interaction than they do, SEXUAL techniques/tricks (i.e. jaw and tongue exercises that will just make your tongue and lips amazing at kissing/oral sex). Yeah, and there are a lot more "micro" skills than what I have listed.
Anyways, it's kind of a lot to digest but it's what I've learned so far, and what I have successfully applied in my own life. Macro, micro.
On October 26 2009 15:20 Warrior Madness wrote: Guys, before taking any advice in any relationship thread, treat it like you would a starcraft thread in the strategy forum. That is, how much of this advice is dished out by people who actually play the game and are good at it, and how much of this advice is flat out theory crafting?
I'm lucky enough to have befriended a few guys who have some serious game. Guys who have one night stands, date models, athletes, fuck buddies, multiple women at once and who date the love of their lives exclusively; Guys who have girls chase THEM with (frustrating) regularity. These guys can walk into pretty much any social situation, be it a club or a classroom and make instant social circles WHILE choosing and attracting the girl that they want to (boyfriend or no boyfriend).
I've had hour long conversations with these about this very topic and I've tried to apply what I've learned in varying degrees of success.
I think the "simplest" breakdown of these guys and others' success with women is as follows. You can divide it into macro and micro.
Macro = The big picture. Lifestyle & logistics. The common thread among my friends (the ones who are A+ at this) is that they have their shit together. They have a passion that they put above everything else, including their relationships. This makes them happier, allows them to be HAPPY being ALONE, and they talk with such passion that it sucks other people into their world. All the positive benefits seep into every aspect of their lives. They have also have a lot of hobbies. And, not only do they have MANY social circles but they have one main group of (like-minded people), usually consisting of ultra supportive, positive, honest, ambitious and loyal friends who also want to grow in some way. These guys provide an endless source of positive energy and fun.
This also includes mental attitudes and belief systems. These guys have strong convictions, beliefs about life, sex, relationships, and on how to live that are sound and that influence their actions on an everyday level. They are eager to share and to show these values and attitudes. For example, the belief that high abundance and choice creates non-neediness, and that non-neediness should be a highly sought after goal. All these things add up to an attractive lifestyle. And it creates highly magnetic traits like non-neediness, non giving a shit, being confident and having faith in yourself, having a high self-esteem, living life passionately, and being a source of fun (i.e. the life of the party).
Then comes the "micro" skills such as conversation techniques. There are certain skills that make these guys just immediately deadly.... lol. Mutual agreement (They have an uncanny ability to be able to get people to agree with what they say and their values), the ability to sexualize the interaction, the ability to LEAD and to escalate an interaction. They way in which they can just work rooms. Even the way they use their eyes, vocal tonality, and how they touch people and girls can be put into this category. Also they way in which they can get people to just OPEN up, share what makes them unique, what they're passionate about, and get THEM to make more effort in the interaction than they do, SEXUAL techniques/tricks (i.e. jaw and tongue exercises that will just make your tongue and lips amazing at kissing/oral sex). Yeah, and there are a lot more "micro" skills than what I have listed.
Anyways, it's kind of a lot to digest but it's what I've learned so far, and what I have successfully applied in my own life. Macro, micro.
mMMMmm... sounds like my kind of yummy guy... You forgot to state that they are atleast decent looking/bearable.
On October 26 2009 15:16 Sfydjklm wrote: Still think his advice is the creepiest?:D
That wasn't creepy that was logical and up to my moral standards. Following people is just crossing the line, I hate it when you feel like you have some pimple-face nerd breathing down my neck every step. Rape is nothing but surprise sex, and sex is nothing but corporeal pleasure - assisted masturbation. No problems there.