EPTI love that joke.
Eri, tell us that joke.
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flashback21
United States406 Posts
I love that joke. | ||
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SoMuchBetter
Australia10606 Posts
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Klogon
MURICA15980 Posts
... | ||
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Caterpiller
Sweden119 Posts
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C)R
Canada549 Posts
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RuGbUg
United States2347 Posts
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{CC}StealthBlue
United States41117 Posts
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toptalent
United States1825 Posts
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{CC}StealthBlue
United States41117 Posts
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Silverado
121 Posts
A guy in a store asks for white bread. Clerk says : "Sorry, we only have black bread". Guy then says:"Not a problem, I will take black bread, I'm with a bike" | ||
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Abang_Zealot
Indonesia866 Posts
help me ??????? | ||
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Muhweli
Finland5328 Posts
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Schnake
Germany2819 Posts
Suicide in the subway tube - suspect fled. | ||
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SoMuchBetter
Australia10606 Posts
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Krzych
Poland693 Posts
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dork
Canada2207 Posts
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Tricky
China752 Posts
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Liquid`Drone
Norway28736 Posts
There was this guy named Bob who decided one day to get a van and travel around Australia. He drives until, somewhere around Perth, his van breaks down. A few minutes pass until a monk drives along and offers to help. Bob tells the monk he needs a lift to the mechanic. The monk drives him to the mechanic, who checks out the van. He tells Bob that he’ll be able to fix the van, but it will have to be kept in overnight. The monk tells him that he’d be welcome to stay the night at his temple. Bob’s grateful for the favour and agrees. He goes to the temple and talks to the other monks until they start to go to bed. As Bob is about to go into his room a monks asks him if he’d like anything else. "Well", says Bob, "There is this one thing, but" "Yes?" says the monk. "Well, can I have" a banana and a ball of string?" asks Bob. The monk goes and tells his friends Bob’s request. Some say they should ask why he wants them. "No" says the head monk, "He’s our guest and we should respect his privacy." The other monks agree, they give the man the things and they all go to sleep. One year later, Bob decides to go on another trip on a bus, so he starts travelling. He goes fine until somewhere around Perth, the bus breaks down. He can’t see what went wrong. He waits until, who should appear, but the same monk. "You look familiar," says the monk. Bob tells him of when his van broke down. "I remember" Says the monk, "Do you needs a lift" They go to the mechanic, who retrieves the broken down bus and explains that the problem could be fixed, but the bus will have to be kept in overnight. Bob thanks the mechanic, he asks the monk if he can sleep in his temple again. "Certainly" Says the monk, and they drive back to the temple, where Bob chats and eats and drinks until he decides it time for bed. As he’s about to leave one of the monks asks him if there’s anything else he’d like. "Well, would you happen to have a banana and a ball of string?" he asks. The monk says he’ll check and goes to the other monks, he tells them that the man has asked for the things again. Some say they should ask him about it, "No," says the head monk, "we should respect his privacy" So the monk gives Bob the things and they all go to bed. The next day Bob leaves. The same things happens for five years, with Bob staying with the monks and talking and eating and drinking until bedtime, and when Bob is asked if he’d like anything else, he asks for a banana and a ball of string. "Enough is enough" says the head monk, "He’s been he seven times and has always wanted the same thing, I think it’s time we asked him." They go to Bob’s room, but he doesn’t let them come in. "We’ve given you somewhere to stay three times now, and each time you’ve asked for a banana and a ball of string, the first time we were happy to let our curiosity’s be, but it’s just gone too far. What the hell would you want with a banana and a ball of string?" "Okay" says Bob "But you have to promise never to tell anyone" "We promise never to tell anyone," say the monks. And they haven’t. | ||
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SoMuchBetter
Australia10606 Posts
On October 03 2003 12:07 Schnake wrote: Try this one: Suicide in the subway tube - suspect fled. the person who commited suicide fled... i dont get the other two so i cant explain them.... | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
Arent jokes supposed to make ppl laugh? Lets make this the big joke thread :o. Why do jews have big noses? Air is free. :-) | ||
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Liquid`Drone
Norway28736 Posts
and I've never even typed it, always just copy paste! mouuahaha | ||
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ObsoleteLogic
United States3676 Posts
Or maybe you have to be as lacking of sanity as I am to find it amusing. | ||
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actioN
Denmark229 Posts
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flashback21
United States406 Posts
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otherOne
United States135 Posts
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Tien
Russian Federation4447 Posts
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iD.Twisted
Netherlands3102 Posts
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toptalent
United States1825 Posts
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mindspike
Canada1902 Posts
its a joke that makes fun of itself | ||
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Horrible
Bahamas94 Posts
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flashback21
United States406 Posts
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poland
Poland956 Posts
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poland
Poland956 Posts
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poland
Poland956 Posts
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CubEdIn_old
Romania11 Posts
1. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says: hey man, why the long face? 2. A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says: you know, we got a drink named after you, and the grasshopper says: really? u got a drink named Billy? Btw: Awsome joke Drone | ||
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Klogon
MURICA15980 Posts
and the "joke" I made on my post was pure sarcasm. Not the real joke so there's nothing to get... | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
----- When I was 13, I dreamed that someday I'd have a girlfriend. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl. When I was 20, I dated a passionate college girl, but she was too emotional; everything was an emergency, she was constantly crying and threatening suicide, so I decided I needed a stable woman When I was 25, I found a stable woman, but she was too boring; totally predictable, never got excited about anything, life with her was dull, so I decided I needed an exciting woman. When I was 30, I found an exciting woman, but I couldn't keep up with her. She raced from one thing to the next, never settled on anything, she was impetuous and made me miserable more often than she made me happy, so I decided I needed a woman with ambition. When I was 35, I found an ambitious woman and married her, but she was so ambitious that she soon divorced me and took everything I had. So now I'm older and wiser. All I'm looking for now is a woman with big tits! ---- Why does a Belgian always leaves an empty bottle in the fridge? In case he wants to drink nothing. ---- A Belgian finds a bottle with a genie in it, he rubs and the genie (or however u write it) comes out, the man gets 3 wishes, first the belgian wishes for a bottle of beer wich will NEVER get empty, the genie does *poof* and the guy has his unlimited amount of beer, the belgian tries it and it really never gets empty, the genie says he has another wish, so the belgian says: "Ill have another one of those!" :-) ---- Two blondes decided to rob a bank. Judy planned out everything and drove the car. When she stopped in front of the bank, she said to Buffy, "Now, remember: you must be back out here with the cash in three minutes or less. Understand?" "Gotcha," said Buffy and went inside. Judy waited one minute, two minutes, seven minutes, growing more and more stressed until finally the bank doors burst open and out came Buffy, dragging a safe wrapped in a rope. As she loaded it into the car, the bank's security guard ran out with his pants around his ankles. As the girls drove away, Judy said, "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!" Buffy said, "I did! I did understand the plan! I did exactly what you said!" "No, you idiot," said Judy. "I said, 'Tie up the guard and blow the safe!'" | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
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ZyPhReX
1192 Posts
Btw, good joke drone | ||
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BlackJack
United States10574 Posts
On October 03 2003 15:02 Liquid`Drone wrote: the reason why the monk joke is funny is cause it's SO LONG and it COMPLETELY lacks a punchline, which basically makes it funny for ME because I made you all read a long joke which was not funny at all! and I've never even typed it, always just copy paste! mouuahaha u made me late to class because I wanted to finish that joke since I thought it was going to be very funny ._.V lol | ||
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Fedaykin
Netherlands2003 Posts
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Liquid`Drone
Norway28736 Posts
like I even started laughing (or more like snickering) ! CRAZY | ||
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iGgs
Russian Federation772 Posts
On October 04 2003 01:38 BlackJack wrote: u made me late to class because I wanted to finish that joke since I thought it was going to be very funny ._.V lol rofl you read tl.net while you're at school ? t.t | ||
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Fedaykin
Netherlands2003 Posts
On October 04 2003 02:05 Liquid`Drone wrote: haha I actually understood most of that joke without the translation! like I even started laughing (or more like snickering) ! CRAZY Eri has pwnage language skillz!!! Could you make a conversation in dutch during the last few days you were here? | ||
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Liquid`Drone
Norway28736 Posts
much better at reading than listening too, though. | ||
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AgonyRush
United States2540 Posts
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HnR)hT
United States3468 Posts
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BlackJack
United States10574 Posts
On October 04 2003 02:05 iGgs wrote: rofl you read tl.net while you're at school ? t.t sure | ||
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Klogon
MURICA15980 Posts
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Tricky
China752 Posts
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RickJSanchez
United States1585 Posts
A: the unemployment line sorry if that offends the 2 black people at this site, its 1 of the only jokes i can think of right now, i will think of some more when i sober up. | ||
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A3iL3r0n
United States2196 Posts
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toptalent
United States1825 Posts
k me first. prolly hes gay and those monks turned him on so he used that banana to, well u got the idea. BUT WTF IS WITH THE BALL OF STRING??? | ||
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deTwisj
Netherlands288 Posts
On October 04 2003 11:41 toptalent wrote: any1 creative enough to give a convincable explanation of the usage of the banana and the ball of string? k me first. prolly hes gay and those monks turned him on so he used that banana to, well u got the idea. BUT WTF IS WITH THE BALL OF STRING??? to floss his ass afterwards? | ||
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Liquid`Drone
Norway28736 Posts
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zum_pl
Poland52 Posts
 A priest and an Australian shepherd met each other in the final of a quiz show. After answering all the normal questions, they were neckandneck with the same number of points and the quizmaster had to set a deciding question. The question was, to compose a rhyme in 5 minuts including the word "Timbuktu". After the 5 minuts, the priest presented his poem: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible trought and trough on my way to Timbuktu..." The audience was thrilled and celebrated the churchman as the winner. However, the Aussi stepped forward and recited: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went, we met three ladies cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, so I booked one and Tim booked two..." | ||
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Asta
Germany3491 Posts
A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "where's Mom and dad? " and she replied, "they're up in bed " so the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed " and the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "they're still up in bed" and the little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked "what give's? every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here? " and the little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue." | ||
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Imperium
United States614 Posts
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Sand[Florida]
United States87 Posts
A large pizza can feed a family of four. What's the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? People get mad when you burn a pizza. <--- Most hateful punchline ever! I don't really find thise joke amusing, but maybe theres a skinhead somewhere that will. | ||
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Roman
United States2595 Posts
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Krzych
Poland693 Posts
-you're lonely, aren't you? The lady smiles timidly and replies: -yes, how you guessed that? -you're so ugly Wife to her husband: -do you love me? -who, me? -Where have you been? -a wife asks -I've been playing chess -a husband replies -But you stink of vodka! -So what? Am I supposed to stink of chess?? What is it: two legs and bleeds like hell? Half a dog. Only in USA people happen to order cheeseburger, big fries and diet coke. A guy in a grocery: -are there sugar lumps? -no, there aren't -so give me some other cheap chocolade box Two drunks stand in front of a lion cage in a zoo. Suddenly one of the lions roars. -I'm going home -says one of the drunks. The second one replies: -I'm gonna watch the movie. Why are chess such a dangerous game? Because when you opponent considers his move you can fall asleep and poke a bishop in your eye. Only Cray supercomputer does an infinite loop in less that 34 secs. Uncle writes a letter to his nephew: "I'm sending you the 10$ you were asking for. But for the future remember that you write 10 with ONE zero." Two guys talking: -Yesterday my wife hit my face. -Why? -Because i said "You" to her. -And she hit you for this?! -She told me "We haven't been making love for 2 months", and I told her "You". A guy beats a fucking record. They send him first 100 chicks. He fucks them all. They send him next 100 ladies. He fucks them as well. He gets another 100 girls, fucks 98 of them and says "I can't do more". And all the audience shouts: IM-PO-TENT!!! IM-PO-TENT!!! Wife gets back home from a Feminist Meeting and says to her husband: -From now on I don't cook, don't clean and I don't want to see you for at least 3 days. And really, she hasn't seen him on one day, nor on the another. Se saw him on the third day when the swelling shrunk. Well, that would be it for now | ||
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AutumnLight
Ukraine2488 Posts
You can't fit so much shit in a shoe. (no offense to anyone) | ||
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BlackJack
United States10574 Posts
On October 05 2003 01:44 Krzych wrote: A young lady stands in a supermarket queue. She's got a soap, a toothbrush, some bread and some vegetables in her shopping bag. The male clerk looks at her, smiles and says: -you're lonely, aren't you? The lady smiles timidly and replies: -yes, how you guessed that? -you're so ugly you killed that joke.. it goes: a young lady checks out at a super market with One bar of soap, One toothbrush, One single serving size can of soup, and one serving of bread. the clerk says, you are single right? she says, yeah how did you know? the clerk says, because you're so ugly | ||
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Konni
Germany3044 Posts
On October 05 2003 01:44 Krzych wrote: A young lady stands in a supermarket queue. She's got a soap, a toothbrush, some bread and some vegetables in her shopping bag. The male clerk looks at her, smiles and says: -you're lonely, aren't you? The lady smiles timidly and replies: -yes, how you guessed that? -you're so ugly that was great | ||
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nArAnjO
Peru2571 Posts
super grapple | ||
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Ilintar
Poland794 Posts
There was a monastery where 1000 monks lived. They lived happily, didn't harm anyone, did their chores, prayed etc. One day, a person on a red motorbike came, took out a machine gun, killed 100 priests, destroyed the monastery and left. The 900 monks rebuilt the monastery, lived happily, but yet another time the man came, killed 100 priests, destroyed the monastery and left. 800 monks worked hard to rebuild the monastery, but just as they finished, the man on the red motorbike came, killed 100 priests and left. (such it goes down to 100)... The 100 monks that were left built a monastery as large as before to house them, but the man on the red motorbike came - since they were less numerous, more experienced and had more places to hide, he only killed 10 of them, but he destroyed the monastery. (here it goes by 10 down to 10)... The 10 monks built a small monastery, but the man on the red motorbike came, he managed to kill only one of them but he destroyed the monastery and left. (now it goes down by 1) There were 2 monks left. They built a small hut so they'd have a place to pray, but the man on the red motorbike came, killed one of the priests and set the hut on fire. The other monk got angry, took a green motorbike, set after the man on the red motorbike, caught him and killed him. The conclusion? ... the green motorbike is faster than the red one.  | ||
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toptalent
United States1825 Posts
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ZyPhReX
1192 Posts
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Krzych
Poland693 Posts
On October 05 2003 02:11 BlackJack wrote: you killed that joke.. it goes: a young lady checks out at a super market with One bar of soap, One toothbrush, One single serving size can of soup, and one serving of bread. the clerk says, you are single right? she says, yeah how did you know? the clerk says, because you're so ugly | ||
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KiZz
Netherlands194 Posts
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Asta
Germany3491 Posts
On October 05 2003 01:44 Krzych wrote: Only in USA people happen to order cheeseburger, big fries and diet coke. not true. a friend of mine does so as well. and then she started wondering whether mayonnaise or ketchup has more calories (when she was ordering her fries). 8[ | ||
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Krzych
Poland693 Posts
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hmmm
China299 Posts
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Pacifist
Israel1683 Posts
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Zoler
Sweden6339 Posts
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il0seonpurpose
Korea (South)5638 Posts
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vGl-CoW
Belgium8305 Posts
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