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To: Zerg
1. Actually, Zerg never loses unless Zerg wants it happen.
2. Zerg never cheeses, it takes some seconds to change from 4 pool to 3 Hatch Muta build.
3. Zerg never all-in, if Zerg fails at the first push, they can do it again countless times.
4. Zerg: The failure all-in is not an all-in
5. If Zerg has some nice micro mutas, even FlaSh can't win
6. Zergling looks like a mini dinosaur.
7. Overlord looks like a supplier, a detector, a shipper but it's all in one.
8. Ultralisk looks like a mobile nuclear but it's really x10 mobile nuclears.
9. Mutalisk looks like a miracle. Per unit is 10% winnable for Zerg.
10. Where is the balance at Zerg can buy 3 units with 1 click in the same time?
11. Units of Zerg were born to k1ll Terran. Units of Terran were born to d13 by Zerg.
12. Broodling is a free unit but it can k1ll a Siege Tank is bought 150 mineral 100 gas.
13. In TvZ, the game is balanced when Terran has a 2–3x supply advantage over Zerg.
14. If mutalisk control is so hard for you. Don't worry, their presence is scary enough to make your opponent lose control.
15. Zerg has nothing, no unit no upgrade no money, just has only win.
To: Protoss
1. You will like to be part of Protoss if you were a lazy child.
2. Arbiter helps children with no skills who feel good in the game.
3. Reaver is cute and cheap, it's deserved for good kids.
4. Giving up Protoss is the first step to becoming a real man.
5. When I was a boy, I played Protoss.
6. Honestly, if you want to see StarCraft's real beauty, switch from Protoss to another race.
7. Protoss gains nothing from the awful race. You are just wasting your time. I hope you know the truth.
8. Why can a Probe harass an SCV, but an SCV can't harass a Probe?
9. There's no way you achieve your happiness if you still play Protoss regardless you win or lose.
10. ur mom will get upset if she knows u play Protoss.
11. It's easier to defeat all building of Protoss than defeat 6 Carriers.
12. Should Protoss need something to proud of themselves, it won't be easy to looking for.
13. One of the most important things to achieve your goal is to do your best with Zerg or Terran.
14. Protoss players don't stay up late in the Christmas eve for waiting their gifts.
15. If you think PvP is a fair matchup, then you also think PvT, PvZ is a fair one too. Protoss is a right race for you.
To: StarCraft
1. I don't play to win but I play to make my opponents lose.
2. I use BBS to show respect to my opponents, instead of quitting the games right away.
3. I never trash talk my opponents because I think they are my friends.
4. I will type gg if I lose the game because of my fault.
5. Just watch your win replays if you would like to improve your level.
6. Removing Protoss and Zerg would make StarCraft one of the best eSports games.
7. If StarCraft is an eSports game, why do players have a large difference in power between races?
8. If StarCraft is so balanced, why are most of the comments complaining about balance?
9. 99% of people don’t know that Blizzard created StarCraft to make money, not to entertain their customers.
10. Guanyin: After 20 years old, you are not allowed to change your race.
11. StarCraft is a turn based game. If you don't realize that, I feel sorry for you!
12. If you think StarCraft is a game. Why do you want to win? Think about that deeply.
13. If you have a happy life, don't play StarCraft. If you have an unhappy life, don't play StarCraft too.
14. We describe easily the he11 with StarCraft but we describe difficultly the heaven with StarCraft.
15. Playing StarCraft has been the worst experience I’ve ever had in my life.
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You are a Zerg player, who lost against Protoss, and quit StarCraft.
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3 copy pastas! would be using
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It's insane how a hypothetically functional human being can come to some of these conclusions and apparently be 100% serious about it. The world is truly full of diversity of "ideas", mystery, and fantasy, if we look hard enough.
Happy New Year, all!
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E rankers whining about BW balance will always be entertaining to me
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Netherlands5205 Posts
On January 01 2026 10:57 Jealous wrote:
It's insane how a hypothetically functional human being can come to some of these conclusions and apparently be 100% serious about it. The world is truly full of diversity of "ideas", mystery, and fantasy, if we look hard enough.
Happy New Year, all!
Happy new year!
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To Terran:
1. You whine that only Terran has Concussive damage when vultures are the most cost-efficient units in the game.
2. You whine that only Terran has friendly splash damage when tanks are the strongest ground army units in the game.
3. You whine that defilers have 80 hp when vessels have 200 hp and fly.
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This is why I love playing Protoss.
Players get so legitimately angry when you beat them with shitty strategies, 110 apm and lackluster macro.
Especially after Artosis popularized Protoss hate.
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On January 01 2026 22:53 iopq wrote:
To Terran:
1. You whine that only Terran has Concussive damage when vultures are the most cost-efficient units in the game.
2. You whine that only Terran has friendly splash damage when tanks are the strongest ground army units in the game.
3. You whine that defilers have 80 hp when vessels have 200 hp and fly.
Not really. Storm, plague...
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no self congratulatory pat on the back about how he's one of the most important figure in foreign BW from SCRVN this time around though
an improvement
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On January 02 2026 04:01 SiarX wrote:Show nested quote +On January 01 2026 22:53 iopq wrote:
To Terran:
1. You whine that only Terran has Concussive damage when vultures are the most cost-efficient units in the game.
2. You whine that only Terran has friendly splash damage when tanks are the strongest ground army units in the game.
3. You whine that defilers have 80 hp when vessels have 200 hp and fly.
Not really. Storm, plague...
I mean Terran has the only splash damage attacks. Spells you have more control over
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Happy new year TL !!  
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is OP real?
is this chatgpt?
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On January 04 2026 11:16 Metallicaz01 wrote:
is OP real?
is this chatgpt?
OP is too unique a character to ever be confused for an AI.
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On January 01 2026 22:53 iopq wrote:
To Terran:
1. You whine that only Terran has Concussive damage when vultures are the most cost-efficient units in the game.
2. You whine that only Terran has friendly splash damage when tanks are the strongest ground army units in the game.
3. You whine that defilers have 80 hp when vessels have 200 hp and fly.
Oh, oh, Terrans also complain about SCV attack range and not regenerating, when they start with fucking 60 HP and do more DPS in combat to the point that an SCV kills a drone with 30 HP left.
Terrans complain about Zerg "maphack" where overlords see some of the map from a cliff. Yet Terrans have ACTUAL maphack where they see any point on the map any time they want from any distance to the comsat.
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If both players micro well, it's hard to win with an SCV though.
Comsat costs energy. It's fair and balanced. Please understand.
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And overlords cost minerals.
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From: StarCraft
1. Been there, done that
2. I had to read it twice
3. Thats my best one so far, AINEC
4. 5. 6. 7. 8. yes
9. That seems a bit high, but yeah close enough
10. blue
11. ty
12. headasploded.JPG
13. :O
14.
15. i understood it immediately.
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On January 04 2026 19:29 ScoutWBF wrote:
If both players micro well, it's hard to win with an SCV though.
Comsat costs energy. It's fair and balanced. Please understand.
Energy that's free after you have the comsat
the range is infinite, and the comsat is safe inside your base
you can kill my scouting overlords, it is not the same
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United States10258 Posts
On January 01 2026 22:53 iopq wrote:
To Terran:
1. You whine that only Terran has Concussive damage when vultures are the most cost-efficient units in the game.
2. You whine that only Terran has friendly splash damage when tanks are the strongest ground army units in the game.
3. You whine that defilers have 80 hp when vessels have 200 hp and fly.
I dont think a single person complains that defilers have 80hp. Also storm is friendly splash damage 
I also don't think anyone complains about vultures having concussive damage. Almost every terran knows the power of the vulture. I think you're just whining.
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United States10258 Posts
On January 04 2026 15:15 iopq wrote:Show nested quote +On January 01 2026 22:53 iopq wrote:
To Terran:
1. You whine that only Terran has Concussive damage when vultures are the most cost-efficient units in the game.
2. You whine that only Terran has friendly splash damage when tanks are the strongest ground army units in the game.
3. You whine that defilers have 80 hp when vessels have 200 hp and fly.
Oh, oh, Terrans also complain about SCV attack range and not regenerating, when they start with fucking 60 HP and do more DPS in combat to the point that an SCV kills a drone with 30 HP left. Terrans complain about Zerg "maphack" where overlords see some of the map from a cliff. Yet Terrans have ACTUAL maphack where they see any point on the map any time they want from any distance to the comsat.
I don't think you've ever played TvP 2p map where Protoss gas steals then ruins your day with a single well microed probe. It's part of balance but it's annoying as fuck.
No Terran complains about Zerg maphack. calm down.
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Happy new year to you as well.
I think we can lay it to rest Starcraft is not god's law. In 1.00, Tassadar was supposed to stop by at the 5th mission to help terrans out and drop a hive in the middle of the map on an island. The official version was very unique. I think people are blindsided by way of pros are leading the way we play starcraft and not the cutscenes telling another story.
In the official version, protoss were an extinct race with no reproductive capabilities. They had long lives, but very stale. The way you should play protoss is not how you should play zerg, throwing units around. You should have huge banks of shield batteries and you should be recalling units in and out from skirmishes before they got their shields depleted. Protoss is a power play. The game pathing making this an exception is not the rule.
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On January 06 2026 01:56 FlaShFTW wrote:Show nested quote +On January 01 2026 22:53 iopq wrote:
To Terran:
1. You whine that only Terran has Concussive damage when vultures are the most cost-efficient units in the game.
2. You whine that only Terran has friendly splash damage when tanks are the strongest ground army units in the game.
3. You whine that defilers have 80 hp when vessels have 200 hp and fly.
I dont think a single person complains that defilers have 80hp. Also storm is friendly splash damage I also don't think anyone complains about vultures having concussive damage. Almost every terran knows the power of the vulture. I think you're just whining.
Also you cast storm manually, so you can't really "storm bomb" templars, but you can "zealot bomb" tanks
Those points are specifically mentioned by Artosis, so just because YOU can't think of a single person that complains about them, it just means you don't watch that particular stream.
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Artosis bias towards terran and against toss is well known, so... not a credible source.
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United States10258 Posts
On January 06 2026 16:02 iopq wrote:Show nested quote +On January 06 2026 01:56 FlaShFTW wrote:On January 01 2026 22:53 iopq wrote:
To Terran:
1. You whine that only Terran has Concussive damage when vultures are the most cost-efficient units in the game.
2. You whine that only Terran has friendly splash damage when tanks are the strongest ground army units in the game.
3. You whine that defilers have 80 hp when vessels have 200 hp and fly.
I dont think a single person complains that defilers have 80hp. Also storm is friendly splash damage I also don't think anyone complains about vultures having concussive damage. Almost every terran knows the power of the vulture. I think you're just whining. Also you cast storm manually, so you can't really "storm bomb" templars, but you can "zealot bomb" tanks Those points are specifically mentioned by Artosis, so just because YOU can't think of a single person that complains about them, it just means you don't watch that particular stream.
If you're using Artosis of all people as the defacto "look someone complains about these things as Terran!" then you might be a little dense.
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Keep up the good work, I enjoyed the post.
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conclusion for being hard stuck at D rank.
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On January 08 2026 09:31 rusty23456 wrote:
conclusion for being hard stuck at D rank.
This. This is the perfect encapsulation of SCRVN.
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The best way to piss off D-rank players, is to just 2-gate Zealot rush. It’s amazing how often it works and if it doesn’t, they’re often behind because of multitasking fatigue.
Nothing pisses off a Terran player more than zealots running rampant in their bases on a-move. He has to micro his ass off while you just macro zealots and pylons.
Pro-tip is to do this with as little APM as possible. It really pisses them off if you’re way below 100 doing this xD
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On January 09 2026 01:23 Timebon3s wrote:
The best way to piss off D-rank players, is to just 2-gate Zealot rush. It’s amazing how often it works and if it doesn’t, they’re often behind because of multitasking fatigue.
Nothing pisses off a Terran player more than zealots running rampant in their bases on a-move. He has to micro his ass off while you just macro zealots and pylons.
Pro-tip is to do this with as little APM as possible. It really pisses them off if you’re way below 100 doing this xD
ZZCore and ZCoreZ also achieve this but without being relatively all-in or hard-countered by walls which noobs still make regularly.
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Wait, I thought this post was satire.
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On January 09 2026 14:39 NoS-Craig wrote:
Wait, I thought this post was satire.
10/10 either way. Crocodile tears.
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Guys in the topic, don't blame me when you have not played more 10.000 games like me!
I have all purple portraits in every season, I know what you know.
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EPT![[image loading]](https://i.ibb.co/5XH9ZGk9/20260102-015630.jpg)
