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Hello all, I created a Battle.net Game Lobby Simulator.
Link is here: https://lustrous-belekoy-6ed00a.netlify.app/
The objective of the simulator/game is to create and start a successful 3vs3 team game of low-skilled players (noobs). High score is determined by how fast the game is created.
Some tips: The name of the game is relevant in the success of getting players to join AND to stay, chatting does affect the gameplay in some ways, so explore these features to see if it improves your chances.
I hope at the very least it makes someone smile or gives a little nostalgia.
Newest version HERE: taupe-hamster-a30894.netlify.app
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"stop porn"
That is the most unexpected simulator ever.
Made 126.20s  I think you forgot the famous "press f4" for refresh map download, but that might be too old to remember
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I did not forget, just forgot to implement.Im not even sure if the html coded file allows f4 key to be something it can receive. I will give it a try though, and have it type instead if that doesn’t work. Did you try other things? What other things should I implement that help add to the realism?
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That is a good time by the way, the implementation of lag has made it way way harder
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On May 04 2025 20:45 iFU.pauline wrote:"stop porn" That is the most unexpected simulator ever. Made 126.20s I think you forgot the famous "press f4" for refresh map download, but that might be too old to remember
Alright, updated with the new feature!
https://joyful-stardust-535eea.netlify.app/ <-- This is the updated simulator.
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Ugh it looked all good, a bit surprised to see falcon paladin in my game, but then one left at game start 
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Yeah, I wanted it to animate and show a player as leaving if it did happen, but as of now it functions more of a chance than anything. There are things you can say in chat before pressing start that reduce the chance people might randomly leave during the countdown phase.
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Wait I'm supposed to ban scan? But wanted to play with him lmao
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Scan is:
1) not a low-skilled player, unfortunately, so you would certainly have an unbalanced game.
2) a korean player, which also nearly guarantees he is more skilled than you. Plus the latency issues between korea and us may result in a laggy game (havent implemented custom location features yet, so assume west coast usa).
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This is insane. I LOVE IT!
The ultimate power trip.
I wish it was lobby accurate tho.
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On May 06 2025 01:33 LUCKY_NOOB wrote:
This is insane. I LOVE IT!
The ultimate power trip.
I wish it was lobby accurate tho.
If there is anything inaccurate about the simulator or you think a feature should be implemented, name it and it will be done.
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Dabman, absolutely hilarious, dude. Funny stuff for sure, and fun to see recognizable names from my streams in there!
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On May 06 2025 10:19 dabman wrote:Show nested quote +On May 06 2025 01:33 LUCKY_NOOB wrote:
This is insane. I LOVE IT!
The ultimate power trip.
I wish it was lobby accurate tho. If there is anything inaccurate about the simulator or you think a feature should be implemented, name it and it will be done.
Dabman sorry for banning you hahaha ! this is great !!
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On May 06 2025 18:01 prosatan wrote:Show nested quote +On May 06 2025 10:19 dabman wrote:On May 06 2025 01:33 LUCKY_NOOB wrote:
This is insane. I LOVE IT!
The ultimate power trip.
I wish it was lobby accurate tho. If there is anything inaccurate about the simulator or you think a feature should be implemented, name it and it will be done. Dabman sorry for banning you hahaha ! this is great !!
This is the REAL news! Must be a first... ; D
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On May 06 2025 10:19 dabman wrote:Show nested quote +On May 06 2025 01:33 LUCKY_NOOB wrote:
This is insane. I LOVE IT!
The ultimate power trip.
I wish it was lobby accurate tho. If there is anything inaccurate about the simulator or you think a feature should be implemented, name it and it will be done.
Basically IF you want to make it realistic you should host a game yourself or watch a video of a Falcon lobby being hosted on stream and you will notice there's a lot of options the host has:
![[image loading]](https://i.ibb.co/Y4HgFd16/h4h4.jpg)
1. Options that work for each player slot like in the image above (players who have been closed on may rejoin later) and u wouldn't have to ban 4 high ranking players giving opportunity for them to say stuff
2. Accurate color names: https://starcraft.fandom.com/wiki/Colors
3. Options like /dnd /whois and all that crap.. I can't find the list myself but it's out there
4. Messages to players who have left to make them come back... /m NoobPlayer bro come back we
only need 1 more
5. The correct lobby music (I think currently it's different from the actual one used) not 100% sure???
6. Leader board would be fun even tho it's so random... More players and nickname and funny quotes ofc, a high level player calling every other high level player to join their game...
If I think of anything else I'll add it here.
BTW what's ur AKA? hahah
I just noticed u have IamWithNoob screaming "I TORE MY DICK OFF" which is something JurrasicShark used to say when he played like more than 5 years ago lol
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Cool suggestions, here’s my responses:
1. Options that work for each player slot like in the image above (players who have been closed on may rejoin later) and u wouldn't have to ban 4 high ranking players giving opportunity for them to say stuff
-yeah i might inplement that, could be tough and make it mobile wont work (wasnt expecting it to work on mobile though in the first place, lol)
2. Accurate color names: https://starcraft.fandom.com/wiki/Colors
- some of the colors are actually more of an inside joke, like there being so many different color greens for some reason. Injust added even more.
3. Options like /dnd /whois and all that crap.. I can't find the list myself but it's out there
- hmmm maybe not sure if that will add any gameplay enhancement but will make it more realistic. Could just make it give an error like most of the dysfunctional tools bnet has these days
4. Messages to players who have left to make them come back... /m NoobPlayer bro come back we
only need 1 more
- this is the best one yet. I need to do this especially if someone leaves and is not banned
5. The correct lobby music (I think currently it's different from the actual one used) not 100% sure???
- pretty sure this is the lobby music, it has been burned into my brain
6. Leader board would be fun even tho it's so random... More players and nickname and funny quotes ofc, a high level player calling every other high level player to join their game...
- quotes are already in, you just gotta play more. I will implement all other quotes, give me a table of dozens of player names and quotes and it will be done
If I think of anything else I'll add it here.
BTW what's ur AKA? hahah
I just noticed u have IamWithNoob screaming "I TORE MY DICK OFF" which is something JurrasicShark used to say when he played like more than 5 years ago lol
- he actually still plays on occasion. He has a dozen of different usernames he uses. We banned him once because he said some racist or phobic nonsense, and he peskered us the rest of the night by joining with different alts and then leaving or dropping. If he joins in this sim I think he has a 100% chance of leaving before lobby start so be warned.
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FlaSh: Anyone want to buy some cryptocurrency?
hahahahahahaha
Funny thing is that Artosis was in the game too, but he has the right skills for this 3v3 
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Calgary25990 Posts
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+ Show Spoiler +On May 07 2025 00:20 dabman wrote:Cool suggestions, here’s my responses: 1. Options that work for each player slot like in the image above (players who have been closed on may rejoin later) and u wouldn't have to ban 4 high ranking players giving opportunity for them to say stuff -yeah i might inplement that, could be tough and make it mobile wont work (wasnt expecting it to work on mobile though in the first place, lol) 2. Accurate color names: https://starcraft.fandom.com/wiki/Colors- some of the colors are actually more of an inside joke, like there being so many different color greens for some reason. Injust added even more. 3. Options like /dnd /whois and all that crap.. I can't find the list myself but it's out there - hmmm maybe not sure if that will add any gameplay enhancement but will make it more realistic. Could just make it give an error like most of the dysfunctional tools bnet has these days 4. Messages to players who have left to make them come back... /m NoobPlayer bro come back we only need 1 more - this is the best one yet. I need to do this especially if someone leaves and is not banned 5. The correct lobby music (I think currently it's different from the actual one used) not 100% sure??? - pretty sure this is the lobby music, it has been burned into my brain 6. Leader board would be fun even tho it's so random... More players and nickname and funny quotes ofc, a high level player calling every other high level player to join their game... - quotes are already in, you just gotta play more. I will implement all other quotes, give me a table of dozens of player names and quotes and it will be done If I think of anything else I'll add it here. BTW what's ur AKA? hahah
I just noticed u have IamWithNoob screaming "I TORE MY DICK OFF" which is something JurrasicShark used to say when he played like more than 5 years ago lol
- he actually still plays on occasion. He has a dozen of different usernames he uses. We banned him once because he said some racist or phobic nonsense, and he peskered us the rest of the night by joining with different alts and then leaving or dropping. If he joins in this sim I think he has a 100% chance of leaving before lobby start so be warned.
Haha yeah. All fair points you make. Of course it's a lot more stuff mostly with no real gameplay benefit besides making it a bit more annoying lel
If I come up with something good I'll post it.
Sometimes there's a person who spams hotkeys or just other random spam which would make it annoying to scroll up and check people's statistics...
I wanted to look at some repmastered replays to see the actual chat logs of 4v4 games but that's restricted again sadly...
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Thank you - this is really fun.
Reminds me a bit of a UMS called "the battle.net experience"...
Probably wouldn't have aged very well in the current climate but I guess we were all like that at 10-15...
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On May 07 2025 03:27 HaFnium wrote:
Thank you - this is really fun.
Reminds me a bit of a UMS called "the battle.net experience"...
Probably wouldn't have aged very well in the current climate but I guess we were all like that at 10-15...
Just played it. It is 169% true to reality haha
https://scmscx.com/search/the battle.net experience
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Hmm I might have to check that out tomorrow during Noob Friday events!
Alright folks, long wait I know, but the Battle.net Lobby Simulator: Mother's Day Patch Edition has arrived, loaded with new features! https://taupe-hamster-a30894.netlify.app/
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Belgium6774 Posts
On May 07 2025 03:27 HaFnium wrote:
Thank you - this is really fun.
Reminds me a bit of a UMS called "the battle.net experience"...
Probably wouldn't have aged very well in the current climate but I guess we were all like that at 10-15...
oh man thats a blast from the past
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EPT![[image loading]](https://i.imgur.com/uld5iFV.png)
