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Active: 32855 users

1-1-1: The Shocking Conspiracy Parts I and II

Blogs > Arcanefrost
Post a Reply
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Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-19 12:35:31
February 01 2012 16:14 GMT
#1
This is the next part of the 111 conspiracy. If you haven't read the previous part read it first.

Part 1:

As you all know the 1-1-1 build has been dominating the TvP match-up, killing top players left and right and causing a lot of rage amongst the community.

If you don't know the build because you have been doing a survival challenge on an island in the pacific, this is a memory trick terran players use: It's called 1-1-1 because you only need 3 buildings out of which you make 1 type of unit. So the first 1 stands for a lot of marines, the second for a lot of tanks and the third 1 for a lot of banshees. By using this trick you can severely reduce the risk of forgetting the build and making battlecruisers instead of banshees, use it!

The real question however is: Who invented this and why?

The suspects may shock you, but trust me, they all have their secret motivations.

Trust no one.



Dustin Browder


[image loading]

Why he did it:

Browder is the lead designer of the game, if anything happens he knows about it. But why would he do this? Doesn't he slightly prefer to play protoss? The answer is no, he deceived everyone into thinking that. Dustin tells everyone about how much fun he has with protoss, but when he gets home he grabs a big bucket of nachos which he happily consumes while 1-1-1ing poor protosses (you can actually eat nachos with 1 hand and 1-1-1 with the other)
His reasons go much further than this, as I was shocked to discover when I saw this picture.

[image loading]

Do you see it now? The ex-command and conquer designer didn't just invent Kane, he IS Kane. Sure the years have changed his face a little but there can be no doubt.
Let me ask you, did Kane use tanks? Yes. Did Kane use cheap infatery? Yes. Did Kane have some sort of flying chopper from the future? Yes. Dustin Browder invented the 1-1-1 not only for ladder points, but for world domination.

David Kim

The second suspect is none other than David Kim aka Dayvie, also a Blizzard employee.

[image loading]

Why he did it:

David Kim's reasons are well hidden, but the information is out there non the less. Let's take a look at his name "D.Kim". D is the 4th letter of the alphabet, K the 11th, I the 9th and M the 13th. If we add these numbers we get 4 + 9 + 11 + 13 = 37. There are 3 "1"'s in "1-1-1", and 1+1+1 is obviously 3, so we multiply 37 by 3. Guess what: 111. Your mind is kind of blown right now isn't it.
This is no longer about ladder points, there is yet again evidence about a worldwide conspiracy theory to command and conquer the world. Guess what game Dustin Browder worked on: Command and Conquer. Not to mention David Kim is Korean, which could mean an alliance between the fastest asians in the world and the people with the most guns in the world. But if such an alliance existed, how could they meet with their associates unnoticed? The question was answered when I turned on the tv, and the world championship of athletics was on. In South-Korea, which brings us to our next suspect.

Tyler Wasielski

[image loading]

Why he did it:

World championship of athletics in South Korea? An alliance between the USA and Korea for world domination? What on earth has that got to do with Tyler?

I didn't realize it until watching Tyler's announcement of some crazy challenge on his vlog. He specifically stated that he was going to run a marathon, so it isn't weird at all if he would go watch some athletics! The perfect place for a meeting between Dustin Browder, David Kim and Tyler. But why? For power, because it's never enough. He crushes face in SC for a living but still gets a little down. Why? Because his real goal is conquering the entire world. When Tyler does his challenge, he will ofcourse stream it. Billions of people will be watching him from all over the world. Everyone except Dustin Browder, David Kim and a special ops squad on a secret mission to infiltrate all the nuclear missile sites in the world. With the guards distracted by Tyler, they will obtain control swiftly and without any noticable resistance all the bombs in the world will be in Dustin's hands. It's a plan Kane himself could have invented, and this is the ultimate proof that Dustin is in fact Kane. As stated before Tyler started running again, and he did so before in college. My guess is that he was recruited then, and started a special training program focussing on battle command (by playing bw) and physical strength (by running). But why does he need running? Because at the last minute of his challenge, when everyone is even more clutched to the screen, Dustin and his entourage will proclaim themselves world leaders and launch the nukes. Tyler has exactly 1 minute and 11 seconds to run from his room to his bomb shelter he installed in his basement, that's right 1 minute and 11 seconds: 1-1-1. Tyler's challenge will take place on December 31st and it will end at midnight. The year will be 2012. Wasn't there some indian guy that said the world would end at what year was it? You know this one: 2012. But noone writes it like that, people write M-D-12. 1+2 = 3. 3 = 1 +1 +1. 1-1-1, it's everywhere.

Greg Fields.

[image loading]

Why he did it:

But does it end here? Sadly not. Yet another good man was lured by the dark side: Idra. Playing his role as a diplomat to get the Koreans on board beatifully, and then out of the blue going back to the USA to make the final arrangments for their plan: This wouldn't have worked without him. But why? Why did he do it?

Let's take a look at the following theory Idra had in mind before joining in:

1)I hate Protoss.
2)I hate Huk even more than other protosses.
3)I want to kill all protosses, including Huk!
4)Shoot! I need another step!
5)Huk dies.

This is it. The 1-1-1 is step 4! Idra joined the conspiracy, but at one condition: A nuke must be send to kill Huk specifically. Why do you think Idra is going to Korea with Huk again?

To watch him die.

Sounds like a plan an evil genius would invent. Guess what the name of the team is: Evil Geniusses.

As you might have noticed all EG members look alike. Why? They're doppelgangers to protect Idra.

[image loading]

The other missiles will take care of all the remaining protosses in the world. The 1-1-1 strategy is in fact a sadistic joke: It kills protosses ingame, but the REAL 1-1-1 will kill them in real-life.

The truth is hard to capture, but it is real. The only question that remains is: Who is the mastermind behind all this? We need to stop this, and we can only do this by taking away their leader.

So tell me, who do we move against?

Poll: Who is the mastermind?

Dustin Browder (335)
 
50%

Greg Fields (257)
 
38%

Tyler Wasielski (43)
 
6%

David Kim (34)
 
5%

669 total votes

Your vote: Who is the mastermind?

(Vote): Dustin Browder
(Vote): David Kim
(Vote): Tyler Wasielski
(Vote): Greg Fields



Part II

5 Months later:

This wasn't supposed to happen...they should be dead...WHY ARE THEY NOT DEAD?!
This... this was not supposed to happen. All protosses should be dead!

Relax Greg. Our plan hes been put on hold for a couple of months. Some idiot on tl exposed us, but if we wait long enough it will look like a joke post. The ignorant fools, we shall bath in the rivers of their blood soon enough.

This is unacceptable. You said they would be dead Browder!

I did. And they will die. The time has come my friend. The game has begun, it's win or die now. The pieces already moved agaisnt huk. Our agent terious took him down swiftly. He even dropped a game to make sure no one would suspect a thing. It won't be long before Huk is dead, you want that right? Just hold on for a little longer Greg, it will all be over soon.

Huk will be dead? Yes... I can do that. I will hold on for a little longer. Just a couple of days...


Hello my friends. The above conversation was transmitted to me by my mole in the EG house. We were victoious a couple of months ago, but now they have returned. They're everywhere, they're angry, and they want all protosses dead. Scared? You should be.
I have established a resistance movement with the finest agents in the world. We will stop them. This is the plan.

Avenge: The Kingslayer

[image loading]

Think avenge is just some average korean Protoss? Think again. This is just a disguise.
He's like James Bond, but cooler more handsome and deadlier.

What Avenge really looks like:

[image loading]

Avenge on a magazine cover. Just because he can.

[image loading]


Recruited for 1 purpose: Stop Idra from winning the GSL. How do you do that? You win the GSL yourself. Don't even need to watch future GSL's, this guy will win them all.
Want proof? Who do you think knocked Idra to code B? Avenge. What race does avenge play? Protoss, happens to be the race they want to exterminate. Coincidence? Of course not I just explained it all.

"Yay, avenge is our hero he will save us all! "

Wrong. We cannot rely on one person, even though avenge is ruggedly handsome, I didn't put all of my eggs in his basket.



EGincontrol: The Mole

[image loading]


If you want to defeat your enemy, you have to know his plan.
Incontrol is a world class spy. He infiltrated the EG training house, and lived amongst the breathing devils Idra, Machine and Demuslim ( demuslim is also brittish, imagine what a satanic creature that must be).

"But Arcie, why didn't you pick Huk? He's in Korea, and he's a lot smaller. He can hide everywhere."

First of all I don't want you to call me Arcie. Huk was a target, he couldn't be saved. Sorry bro, terious is a monster.

As you all probably read a picture of incontrol ended up on a porn site.

[image loading]

What's up with that? I'll tell you: it's a heroic tale of brave incontrol who fought the 111 conspiracy. This is what happened that day.

Geoff, EG Training House Arizona USA 2:23 AM

"Arcane this is Geoff, I got their plan but it's encoded. I'm sending it to you, but it will take like 15 minutes. Don't worry about me, everyone thinks I'm laddering. If they walk in on me I just act like I'm making an online scrapbook for Anna. If that fails I can always act like I was searching for porn."

"Copy that Geoff, we got your back. Aiur always pays its debts."

The sound of a door opening was almost unrecognizable, but it was there. Geoff knew what to do. This is what he was born for.
As Geoff slowly spinned his chair around, the unmistakeable face of Machine appeared. Bodyguard and doppelganger of Idra, highly dangerous.

[image loading]

"Hey Geoff, what are you doing up so late?"

"Just making a scrapbook for Anna."

"Cool, I LOVE scrapbooks. Can I help?"

"O don't worry about it man. I'm almost done. I'm gonna go for the picture of us together, the one where she wears that yellow dress. That's the last one, got it covered just gotta press order scrapbook now."

"Too bad. Let me know next time you're making a scrapbook. I love scrapbooks man.
Why aren't you ordering it?"

"Euhm...gonna wait till tomorrow, maybe it will be on discount then."

"It says 50% off today only. You should go for it fast man!"

" It's fine, maybe tomorrow it will be 75%."

"Are you insane press order man, 50% is huge! Gonna make some scrapbooks myself!"

There was desperaty in the way Geoff moved his finger toward his mouse, and finally pressed order scrapbook.

"Nice dude, only 299,99 now. Why did you take the 500page version when 1000 is also an option? I always take the maximum allowed, can't get enough of scrapbooking man.
Gonna make some scrapbooks myself, cya tomorrow."

"Goddammit, I just spend 300 dollars on a 500page scrapbook with only one picture in it. Only 10 minutes remaining, this can't go wrong."

As those words left his mouth a sightly drunk, brittish guy appeared in the doorframe. Demuslim, another Idra doppelganger/bodyguard.


2:28 AM

[image loading]

"GEOFFIEEEEEE, WHAT'S UP MILORD. What do you have going on there, mate?

"O jeez, this is so embarassing I was looking for porn."

"Mate, I'm very drunk but I think that makes sense. I often think of it as watermelon juice. No one has ever tasted watermelon juice, but would love to try it. I'm thinking about opening a watermelon bar, with a watermelon theme park next to it. You could enjoy rides, eat watermelons and drink watermelon juice all day. I'd call it "Benjamin's Watermelon Park"..."

"Dude, could you please stop. This is really awkward."

"YOU DON'T LIKE MY THEMEPARK DON'T YOU!? BLOODY AMERICAN PUSSY, "BENJAMIN'S WATERMELON PARK IS A BLOODY BRILLIANT BLOODY IDEA MATE."

"Take it easy, I love the watermelon idea. Just leave the room please this is awkward."

"Oh. Sorry mate kind of lost it. So you do think it's a great idea?"

"Yes, it's awesome. Can't wait to go watermelonriding, but now you need some sleep, let's go to bed."

Ok Arcane, he's out. This cannot possibly go wrong, victory is ours!

2:37 PM

Things went wrong. The unthinkable happened, in came ... *gasp* the GRACKEN.


[image loading]

"Well, well. Who do we have here. Geoff Robinson. What are you doing here in the middle of the night? You don't have any secrets to hide I hope? That would be...most dissapointing."

There was no plan for this. He already used the scrapbook and the porn excuse. Improvisation was his only option.

"Just making a scrapbook for Anna."

"Don't be ridiculous you hate scrapbooks. Remember how you said you don't want anything that uses glue because horses are such magnificent beasts who deserve a peaceful afterlife. Show me what's on your screen."

Geoff slowly moved away, inch by inch the screen became visible.

"Ah gross geoff that's disgusting. Why are you watching porn in our house? Fucking disgusting man."

"You got me, jeez this is embarassing."

"Wait a minute. If you're not making a scrapbook then what are all these pictures doing here?"

Idra leaned forward and started reading.

" "Upload your own picture to our site." Wait a minute...are you uploading pictures of yourself to pornsites? That's highly disturbing. you're sick, why would you do this?"

"You got me. I get arroussed by uploading photos of myself to pornsites. God, when you think things can't get anymore embarassing am I right? Haha."

"This isn't funny. How long have you been doing this? Wait... you didn't upload any pictures of me did you? Show me what you've done."

"It's nothing just did this one picture of me and Anna."

"Get help Geoff. Seriously get help."

He's gone. The data is secured. Did have to put a picture of myself on a porn site. It's a really shady one so there's no way teamliquid will ever find out haha."

5 MINUTES LATER

Teamliquid finds out

The next morning the world was still there because of Incontrol. Also for some unexplainable reason Machine received 50 scrapbooks about water melons, and 1 about kittens. His scrapbook about little bunnies is still missing today.



****
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
Rainmaker5
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1027 Posts
February 01 2012 16:19 GMT
#2
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool 5/5
(-_(-_(-_(^_(-_(-_(-_-)_-)_-)_-)_-)_-)_-) CJ Fighting! "Beer -> soju -> whisky is a terrible build"~~ Scrarecrow.
Bagration
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
United States18282 Posts
February 01 2012 16:20 GMT
#3
This is brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!
Team Slayers, Axiom-Acer and Vile forever
kanada
Profile Joined May 2007
Canada255 Posts
February 01 2012 16:24 GMT
#4
Oh god, thank you incontrol! Keep fighting against the conspiracy!, good thing we have someone to document this all. My thoughts are for your safety!
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25550 Posts
February 01 2012 16:25 GMT
#5
As a respected member of the terran community i highly recommend you take this post down… or else who knows what will happen to you out on the ladder???
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Tarotis
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
Germany1931 Posts
February 01 2012 16:28 GMT
#6
"Benjamin's Watermelon Park"? I would visit it instantly! If I survive, of course...
Teoita
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Italy12246 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-01 16:42:20
February 01 2012 16:40 GMT
#7
Oh man...this post...hahahahahahaha 5/5 thank you so much.

By the way, is it normal if i read the Demuslim part with a brit accent?

edit: oh also. I don't mind Tyler dominating the world. I'm sure he will turn on IdrA at the very last second, forcing him to destroy the command center from which Browder and David Kim plan to destroy the world, saving Aiur and all of us protoss players, while winning TSL4 at the same time.
ModeratorProtoss all-ins are like a wok. You can throw whatever you want in there and it will turn out alright.
Jetaap
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
France4814 Posts
February 01 2012 16:42 GMT
#8
Brilliant 5/5
fusefuse
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Estonia4644 Posts
February 01 2012 16:45 GMT
#9
rofl
Liquipedia@jkursk
bITt.mAN
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Switzerland3693 Posts
February 01 2012 16:49 GMT
#10
That's so true, I never knew Dustin ... Kane.
Mind. Blown.
BW4LYF . . . . . . PM me, I LOVE PMs. . . . . . Long live "NaDa's Body" . . . . . . Fantasy | Bisu/Best | Jaedong . . . . .
TiTanIum_
Profile Joined August 2011
Brazil1335 Posts
February 01 2012 16:50 GMT
#11
I won't quote any part of this, because it was funny in its entirety. Well played....
Depetrify
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
978 Posts
February 01 2012 17:08 GMT
#12
Lolseph. Gave me a good laugh 5/5
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-01 17:13:02
February 01 2012 17:12 GMT
#13
wasn't this already posted a while ago?
tofucake
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Hyrule19029 Posts
February 01 2012 17:14 GMT
#14
watfuklol

this is awesome
Liquipediaasante sana squash banana
Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
February 01 2012 17:20 GMT
#15
On February 02 2012 02:12 Roe wrote:
wasn't this already posted a while ago?


Read the first sentence ^^
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
Grovbolle
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Denmark3805 Posts
February 01 2012 17:22 GMT
#16
This is the best thing I have ever read.
Thank you Geoff, you are a true hero.
Lies, damned lies and statistics: http://aligulac.com
ZeromuS
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada13389 Posts
February 01 2012 17:22 GMT
#17
This made my bus ride to campus really enjoyable thanks for posting
StrategyRTS forever | @ZeromuS_plays | www.twitch.tv/Zeromus_
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
February 01 2012 17:28 GMT
#18
I didn't read it yet,but I saw the tittle had 1-1-1 and conspiracy in it and I just have to say,yes,I agree.
Cackle™
SushilS
Profile Joined November 2010
2115 Posts
February 01 2012 17:30 GMT
#19
Amazing.
5/5
iceiceice: I’m going to make this short; I am the one true tinker player.
Mementoss
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada2595 Posts
February 01 2012 17:49 GMT
#20
I finally understand 5/5. Amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu96xMwFVXw
1 2 Next All
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