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Cock Blocked By Grandpa X_X

Blogs > PleaseJustChill
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PleaseJustChill
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Canada21 Posts
June 01 2009 14:30 GMT
#1
I'm visiting relatives/studying in China for the summer, and I've been interning at a Chinese bank, where I've been getting along great with this smoking hot girl intern. Best thing about her is, she also plays SC and she's pretty damn good for a girl, I got her Bnet ID ("JustLemmePlay") and she managed 200/150 APM/eAPM and I judge her to be at least C- (that is, her iccup rank, her looks are like, uh, S-class?:D).

Anyway, today after lunch she started flirting back, brushing my arms almost accidentally and laughing at pretty much everything I said. Needless to say, I seized the opportunity and asked her to dinner and a foot bath/massage after, which she gladly accepted.

Then right before closing time, an old guy walked into the bank, wearing an unbuttoned shirt exposing his round and hairy potbelly, smoking, and holding an "二锅头" (a type of hard liquor) bottle, who also happened to be my grandpa. As he waved at me and called out my name, I smiled and waved back weakly, feeling my crush's face drop a mile as she told him to lose the cigarette. Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, my good old grandpa pukes all over the counter, splashing bits of noodles, fish chucks and egg bits all over both my dream girl and I.

It took me almost 2 hours to clean up the incredible mess he made, not to mention I'm out roughly $300 paying for the damaged LCD replacement. And quite obviously, my dream girl didn't even reply my text apologizing after the incident, and when she finally answered my call she told me she was a lesbian and that I should never talk to her again, ever. X_X Fcuk my life.

All in all, not one of my better days. I'm C+ iccup, and I just lost to 3 random D noobs in a row. Now even my internet is barely running, and SC is unplayably laggy. So should it come down to the unfortunate circumstance that Sparkyz loses to Oz tonight, I guess I'll have no choice but to end my miserable life.:O

I'm going out now to use those foot bath/massage tickets, maybe hawt chix rubbing my feet in hot Tibetan herbal medicinal water will soon make this disastrous day forgotten history.

***
Imba Siege Tanks!
Nitrogen
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States5345 Posts
June 01 2009 14:32 GMT
#2
your grandpa sounds awesome!
UNFUCK YOURSELF
AmorVincitOmnia
Profile Joined March 2005
Kenya3846 Posts
June 01 2009 14:36 GMT
#3
On June 01 2009 23:32 404.Nitrogen wrote:
your grandpa sounds awesome!


yes.

and why should you have to pay for the damages?
r.i.p. Bud Shank May 27, 1926 - April 2, 2009
Piste
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
6183 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-06-01 14:36:42
June 01 2009 14:36 GMT
#4
Wow that sucks hardcore. You sure you wren't dreaming?

edit: yeah why would you pay for the dmg?
Harem
Profile Joined November 2007
United States11393 Posts
June 01 2009 14:36 GMT
#5
Guess you are going to kill yourself then.
Moderator。◕‿◕。
nataziel
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Australia1455 Posts
June 01 2009 14:46 GMT
#6
I feel so bad for you man.
u gotta sk8
MasterReY
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Germany2708 Posts
June 01 2009 14:48 GMT
#7
good bye dude.
https://www.twitch.tv/MasterReY/ ~ Biggest Reach fan on TL.net (Don't even dare to mention LR now) ~ R.I.P Violet ~ Developer of SCRChart
TL+ Member
meathook
Profile Joined December 2007
1289 Posts
June 01 2009 14:51 GMT
#8
I call lies. Pics of granpa puking on you + hot chick or it didn't happen. Otherwise, your granpa is a hero and deserves another bottle of whatever he was drinking. Go buy him one.
An ugly planet. A bug planet.
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26003 Posts
June 01 2009 14:51 GMT
#9
This story is so unbelievable.
Moderator
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
June 01 2009 14:54 GMT
#10
this story is fucking retarded
Tracil
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
Australia505 Posts
June 01 2009 14:54 GMT
#11
She was a lousy chick anyway if she blames your grandpa on you.
Shooting
Liquid`Jinro
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Sweden33719 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-06-01 15:03:30
June 01 2009 15:03 GMT
#12
Hm.

If this is true, I actually think "FML" my be appropriate for once.

It does seem somewhat.. odd tho.
Moderatortell the guy that interplanatar interaction is pivotal to terrans variety of optionitudals in the pre-midgame preperatories as well as the protosstinal deterriggation of elite zergling strikes - Stimey n | Formerly FrozenArbiter
misclick
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
Korea (South)155 Posts
June 01 2009 15:17 GMT
#13
bs
we have everything under control
foeffa
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Belgium2115 Posts
June 01 2009 15:19 GMT
#14
Lol.
觀過斯知仁矣.
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
June 01 2009 15:22 GMT
#15
rofl wat..
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
stroggos
Profile Joined February 2009
New Zealand1543 Posts
June 01 2009 15:23 GMT
#16
this story is b/s. If it is true though, kill your grandpa.
hi
Kennelie
Profile Joined December 2007
United States2296 Posts
June 01 2009 15:26 GMT
#17
lmfao @ how odd this story is. If it is true then what a good day then went perfectly wrong.
ya had ya shot kid!
AmorVincitOmnia
Profile Joined March 2005
Kenya3846 Posts
June 01 2009 15:29 GMT
#18
to add to how wtf this is

who invites a girl over to eat and rub her feet
r.i.p. Bud Shank May 27, 1926 - April 2, 2009
hymn
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Bulgaria832 Posts
June 01 2009 15:33 GMT
#19
That's so fun! I'd laugh my ass if suck a thing happens to me.
i mean - come on, it's just a girl, there are millions of them. But I tend to be looking at the bright side of things and maybe that's just me.

Give your grandpa my warmest grats He is so awesome. Have fun with him while you can. When my grandpa dies from pneumonia and I hadn't seen him for the last 3 months of his life I could only remember stuff that happened with him but not to go visit him and talk to him.

I guess my point is: enjoy your relatives, girls are always going to be there.
azk he is the north american player but the titan he is the french stars
BuGzlToOnl
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States5918 Posts
June 01 2009 15:34 GMT
#20
:r lol
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
Schnake
Profile Joined September 2003
Germany2819 Posts
June 01 2009 15:38 GMT
#21
Some stories can only be written by life...
"Alán Shore" and "August Terran" @ LoL EUW - liquidparty
Aerox
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Malaysia1213 Posts
June 01 2009 15:53 GMT
#22
I'd say to still go after the girl. Tell her that you don't stay or hang out with your grandpa or something like that unless you do then yeah, she's right to avoid you.
"Eyes in the sky."
kidd
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
United States2848 Posts
June 01 2009 15:53 GMT
#23
This story is as much BS as Last Shadow teaching children about honesty and responsibility
Hi
CrimsonLotus
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Colombia1123 Posts
June 01 2009 15:56 GMT
#24
On June 01 2009 23:30 PleaseJustChill wrote:
Best thing about her is, she also plays SC and she's pretty damn good for a girl


Lies.
444 444 444 444
Itachii
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Poland12466 Posts
June 01 2009 15:58 GMT
#25
What are you smoking dude
La parole nous a été donnée pour déguiser notre pensée
Snet *
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States3573 Posts
June 01 2009 16:12 GMT
#26
I don't get it, why would she never talk to you again after that? It's not like you puked on her, you have a nasty fat old alcoholic grandpa --- that's not your fault.
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
June 01 2009 16:14 GMT
#27
I dont know which part to believe.
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
lepape
Profile Joined November 2005
Canada557 Posts
June 01 2009 16:14 GMT
#28
This story has fake written all over it.

No one has such a badass grandpa.
ThePhan2m
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Norway2751 Posts
June 01 2009 16:22 GMT
#29
Fake.
Bebop Berserker
Profile Joined April 2009
United States246 Posts
June 01 2009 16:30 GMT
#30
Stuck up ho.
Whatever happens, happens.
lepape
Profile Joined November 2005
Canada557 Posts
June 01 2009 16:33 GMT
#31
On June 02 2009 01:14 Disregard wrote:
I dont know which part to believe.


I believe the part where he lost to D players.
Gliche
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States811 Posts
June 01 2009 16:46 GMT
#32
You sound unusually chirpy in your writing.
KT fighting~!! | Designing things is fun!
King K. Rool
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Canada4408 Posts
June 01 2009 16:46 GMT
#33
On June 02 2009 01:33 lepape wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 02 2009 01:14 Disregard wrote:
I dont know which part to believe.


I believe the part where he lost to D players.

Hahahahaha.


Anyways, if it's true, he probably did the stupid thing and said the guy was related to him, in which case it became his responsibility.
AzureEye
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1360 Posts
June 01 2009 16:49 GMT
#34
this story sounds really unbelievable

pics of your grandpa and work place plz
Terrans who whine: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=107788
HooHa!
Profile Blog Joined February 2006
United States688 Posts
June 01 2009 16:52 GMT
#35
Pics of the fish vomit.
Hoo Ra!
Nytefish
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United Kingdom4282 Posts
June 01 2009 17:00 GMT
#36
On June 01 2009 23:51 Chill wrote:
This story is so unbelievable.


You're meant to say: Link to iccup account.
No I'm never serious.
HamerD
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United Kingdom1922 Posts
June 01 2009 17:30 GMT
#37
wow, that's a fat FML and a half.
"Oh no, we've drawn Judge Schneider" "Is that bad?" "Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog" "You did?" "Yeah...if you replace the word *kinda* with *repeatedly*...and the word *dog* with son"
LaLuSh
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Sweden2358 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-06-01 17:32:29
June 01 2009 17:31 GMT
#38
Bullshit. Iccup is down no way you just played 3 games.

+ Show Spoiler +
Out of every unbelievable happenstance in his post i chose to call him out on that one, doh
Meretricious
Profile Joined April 2009
Canada161 Posts
June 01 2009 17:44 GMT
#39
FYL.
If this story is true, that is.
NaDa / Flash Fan
Luddite
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States2315 Posts
June 01 2009 17:54 GMT
#40
I want to talk to the girl and the grandpa and get their side of the story...
Can't believe I'm still here playing this same game
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
June 01 2009 18:05 GMT
#41
YLIA
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
KizZBG
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
u gotta skate8152 Posts
June 01 2009 18:59 GMT
#42
Wait...

WHAT?! I find this hard to believe hahah
eSTRO for life | #2 Sea.Really fan! | #1 GosI[Flying] fan! | Clide - best SC2 terran!
ghostWriter
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States3302 Posts
June 01 2009 21:40 GMT
#43
YDI
Sullifam
Yaqoob
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
Canada3396 Posts
June 01 2009 22:53 GMT
#44
I don't believe this at all.
김택용 Fighting!
Epicfailguy
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Norway893 Posts
June 02 2009 00:17 GMT
#45
Anyone who believes this story is a retard.





Girl with 200 apm? LOL!!
PleaseJustChill
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Canada21 Posts
June 02 2009 01:42 GMT
#46
I paid for the damages because he's family. The thing about China is, families usually stick together no matter what, even though I'm Canadian half my relatives are still Chinese.

On June 02 2009 01:49 AzureEye wrote:
this story sounds really unbelievable

pics of your grandpa and work place plz


Quite obviously, I didn't take pictures when my boss was screaming at my ass while I was wiping off vomit. However, I can easily do pic of me + the workplace, and the girl. I'll even hold up a TL sign or something, to make sure I didn't get the the pic randomly off of the interweb.:O

On June 02 2009 00:03 FrozenArbiter wrote:
Hm.

If this is true, I actually think "FML" my be appropriate for once.

It does seem somewhat.. odd tho.


fml...FML.

On June 02 2009 00:23 stroggos wrote:
this story is b/s. If it is true though, kill your grandpa.


On June 02 2009 00:33 hymn wrote:
That's so fun! I'd laugh my ass if suck a thing happens to me.
i mean - come on, it's just a girl, there are millions of them. But I tend to be looking at the bright side of things and maybe that's just me.

Give your grandpa my warmest grats He is so awesome. Have fun with him while you can. When my grandpa dies from pneumonia and I hadn't seen him for the last 3 months of his life I could only remember stuff that happened with him but not to go visit him and talk to him.

I guess my point is: enjoy your relatives, girls are always going to be there.


Mhm, he started binged drinking a few months after my granny died. I don't really want/need to kill him anyway, he has severe hypertension, bad joints, and has already suffered from 2 strokes. I say the poor soul will rest in peace before SC2 comes out.

On June 02 2009 00:38 Schnake wrote:
Some stories can only be written by life...


Thank you. And FML.X_X

On June 02 2009 00:53 Aerox wrote:
I'd say to still go after the girl. Tell her that you don't stay or hang out with your grandpa or something like that unless you do then yeah, she's right to avoid you.


Then I'd be just lying because I do hang out with my grandpa because he has no one else. I'm not going to choose a girl, however hot she might be, over my only grandparent alive.

On June 02 2009 01:33 lepape wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 02 2009 01:14 Disregard wrote:
I dont know which part to believe.


I believe the part where he lost to D players.


Yah, I lost to Bnet UMS obs games pubbies. They said they were D and D+. I blame it on an unfamiliar laptop keyboard.:S

On June 02 2009 09:17 Epicfailguy wrote:
Anyone who believes this story is a retard.





Girl with 200 apm? LOL!!


Tossgirl has 360APM. LOL?
Imba Siege Tanks!
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11567 Posts
June 02 2009 01:46 GMT
#47
wow that is fuckin rough lmao
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
lilsusie
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
3861 Posts
June 02 2009 02:07 GMT
#48
Why did grandpa come to your work in the first place?
Follow me on Twitter for pictures of cute gamers and food! https://twitter.com/lilsusie
Ilikestarcraft
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Korea (South)17743 Posts
June 02 2009 02:45 GMT
#49
wanted to visit his sweet grandson
ils
"Nana is a goddess. Or at very least, Nana is my goddess." - KazeHydra
hcliff454
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Canada127 Posts
June 02 2009 02:51 GMT
#50
I'd spend the next 10 years of my life convincing myself I was adopted if I were you
dworn it -lz
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32280 Posts
June 02 2009 05:48 GMT
#51
Wow....
Moderator<:3-/-<
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
June 02 2009 06:02 GMT
#52
I don't believe this.

There is no way any sane girl would totally dismiss you like that over your grandpa unless you handled the situation like a dumbass and ruined your chances with her yourself.

Good job.
Hello
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
June 02 2009 06:12 GMT
#53
rofl what bank, what city, pics?
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-06-02 06:52:02
June 02 2009 06:51 GMT
#54
dude your grandpa is an asshole

why did it take u 2 hours to clean up vomit
freelander
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Hungary4707 Posts
June 02 2009 20:29 GMT
#55
For me the most amusing part was that she said she was lesbian. Great excuse lol
And all is illuminated.
theobsessed1
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States576 Posts
June 02 2009 22:49 GMT
#56
On June 01 2009 23:32 404.Nitrogen wrote:
your grandpa sounds awesome!


I loled at this
정명훈 화이팅!~
Archaic
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States4024 Posts
June 03 2009 00:23 GMT
#57
Haha, this story is so great. Sucks, but so great.
GHOSTCLAW
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States17042 Posts
June 03 2009 03:45 GMT
#58
I'm sorry for you. Life happens sometimes -_-;
PhotographerLiquipedia. Drop me a pm if you've got questions/need help.
ZeroCartin
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Costa Rica2390 Posts
June 03 2009 04:32 GMT
#59
On June 02 2009 15:02 PH wrote:
I don't believe this.

There is no way any sane girl would totally dismiss you like that over your grandpa unless you handled the situation like a dumbass and ruined your chances with her yourself.

Good job.

If I was gonna date a girl, and her grandmother went to weere I am, feeling all perky and stuff, then vomited all on me and my friend, i would probably freak out as well

Now, if she was hot, id let it fly past. If she was not that good, id just go somewhere else. Which brings us to the question:

op, are u hot? lmao
"My sister is on vacation in Costa Rica right now. I hope she stays a while because she's a miserable cunt." -pubbanana
Physician *
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States4146 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-06-03 04:55:15
June 03 2009 04:44 GMT
#60
On June 01 2009 23:30 "PleaseJustChill" wrote: with this smoking hot girl intern. Best thing about her is, she also plays SC and she's pretty damn good for a girl, I got her Bnet ID ("JustLemmePlay") and she managed 200/150 APM/eAPM

- even without reading the replies I know I will probably be joining a band wagon, sorry for that, but man, pity u put that at the beginning of your story.. gg lol; never finished reading it.
"I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities...."
Physician *
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States4146 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-06-05 02:31:40
June 03 2009 04:50 GMT
#61
On June 02 2009 01:33 lepape wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 02 2009 01:14 Disregard wrote:
I dont know which part to believe.


I believe the part where he lost to D players.

- u didn't even believe it was just 3 players.. lol
"I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities...."
Brett
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Australia3822 Posts
June 03 2009 06:12 GMT
#62
No. Just... no.
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