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as posted previously, i don't expect people to read my blogs, let alone post replies. for those haters, i respect your rights to free speech, so hate all you want without the possibility of a ban. but remember to read all of the posts i made before posting yourself.
my dad and i got into an argument. for those of you who were talking with me a while back during one of ret's live broadcasts, you know what sort of situation im in (the name i was under was aegis[wdt]). My dad like any other S. Korean man has been through his required military service. Now he owns a store that i have learned to hate because lets be honest, nobody likes to work in a place where they do not get paid or even a thank you for working there. In the US, memorial day weekend is coming up, which means that some of us college students will go home for the weekend. I was one of these people, emphasis on was. I got a call today from my mom saying that once i got home, i would have to work at that god forsaken store. I of course said no and i will go into the list of reasons why i said no:
1. Employers (parents) expect me to drop everything that i have going on in order to do their bidding. 2. Being a college student is fucking hard has hell. For those of you going through what I'm going through, you know what I'm talking about. Its a job itself. 3. Customers treat me like shit and when i get into arguments (fights) with them of course i have to back down. 4. My younger brother, who is the same age in which i started working there, has not been in the damn place to work, only to freeload.
Now i will be the first to admit these may not be reason enough for some of you but thats beside the point. All this just rained down on me today when my mom called my beloved dad who then called me and demanded why i wasn't going to work.
When i laid down the reasons, good old dad came to the point that i was coming home memorial day in order to have a break from college life, which is what any vacation is for christ sake ( I'm still jacked up on adrenaline, you'll find out why). Then my all knowing dad dropped the bomb, saying "college wasn't so hard when i was going" and "back in my day, i had enough time to go to school, come home every weekend, and work at the gas station." This drove me over the edge.
College back in the 70's i think was way fucking easier than what it is today. Think about it, entrance exams: The fucking SATs just got raised to 2400 because of a new section added. Also they didn't have AP tests to fucking worry about, which by the way raped me so bad that i couldn't go anywhere i wanted to. And then just the shit we learn is way harder as well. For instance, last quarter i had to shitcan the way i learned how to write in high school english class in order to pass my class. This quarter i had to do the exact same thing in order to get a fucking D.
Some can understand with me parents love to brag about the shit they've done in their lives. My dad for instance will not shut the fuck up about him going to UCLA. If i could get +1 on my apm for every time he has said UCLA, i swear to God i think my apm would be 500,000. He also brought this up in his argument saying that he still worked and went to UCLA and got a degree. He topped it off with "college is so easy compared to what i do everyday you shouldn't even talk." THat just sparked the comment "well then get your head out of your 1970s ass if you want a proper conversation then." The conversation continued for 5 more minutes with both of us yelling into the phone
He has no respect for my generation. He thinks that because he is working at his place, he knows all about the fucking world. He has to win every fucking argument and he will even start pulling bullshit out of his asshole in order to win. I remember a biblical passage where the children must respect the parents or something like that. He pulled that today and he hasn't been to church in ages, yeah hes a real disciple. the rest of the quote states that in order for the parent to receive that respect, they must respect the children in return. I guess he read that first half a long time ago, didn't finish, and went to town with it.
so anyways after about 5 minutes of swearing at each other, i think one of use hung up and i went back to doing this monstrous pile of work i had to do. He calls again saying that both he and my mom will not be able to pick me up or drop me off on friday. This is what they do, if they cannot win, they send me on a guilt trip saying they're too busy, and expect me to call back apologizing and all that bullshit. Then they record that as a win in their books. I replied "all right fine" and rescheduled, meaning i wasn't going home this weekend. After that, i recapped every argument similar to this, and i figured if i went home, there was gonna be shit spewing from both me and my dad. so i figure, i will not be welcomed home at all for at least the remainder of my life and i don't plan on going home or returning any calls from my parents or sister (if she gets bitchy at me). Summer is coming up soon so i have to figure out how to get to UC Santa Barbara in order to get this job i was set up with. All i know is i have been successfully exiled from my house and i probably won't be going back until good old dad apologizes for being a total douchecanoe.
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if your dad runs the store he's right about you having it easy. if you are paying your own tuition you probably are correct in having issue with this if not suck it up cause college aint cheap.
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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Your parents are paying for your college tuition, right?
You do realize how much money that is, right?
...
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whose paying for your tuition. if its your pops.. you gotta 'spect. just be a good filially pious lad for another few years. then when you are a baller you and your old man can laugh about shit together. no reason to become an exile in your own home man.
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is awesome32244 Posts
On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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no i pay my way, i got barely enough financial aid and the student loans are gonna rape me later in my life.
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i hope they stopped paying for any of your expenses so you can stop crying about how hard college is and see how hard real life is.
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On May 18 2009 14:22 Forgottenfrog wrote: i hope they stopped paying for any of your expenses so you can stop crying about how hard college is and see how hard real life is.
He just said he pays for it himself. i think its unreasonable for his parents to expect him to work for them for free on his weekend off when he has comitments like that. is that wrong?
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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I don't care how much financial aid you get nor how much you take out in student loans. Your parents paid for your rather ungrateful ass since you were born. I also refuse to believe that you can pay for yourself (including rent, food, insurance, etc) without having a job while studying in college.
I don't think your parents are being fair either and I understand that this is a rageblog, but still...get over it. They're your parents.
BTW...I also have one question about your dad: Why the fuck is he bragging about a UCLA degree when all he has to show for it is a store he employs his own son in?
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hehe douche canoe.
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BTW...I also have one question about your dad: Why the fuck is he bragging about a UCLA degree when all he has to show for it is a store he employs his own son in?
he did some stock market shit back in the day, which i have no idea how that works. ROTC helps out a bit a week. Im still in a rage right now so i am sorry if i left any details out.
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if his store is profitable he probably does more work in one month than you do in a quarter.
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They expect you to work for free? Fuck that... you're not their slave.
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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On May 18 2009 14:41 Jonoman92 wrote: They expect you to work for free? Fuck that... you're not their slave. he is their slave. without his parents this kid aint shit
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On May 18 2009 14:33 PH wrote: I don't care how much financial aid you get nor how much you take out in student loans. Your parents paid for your rather ungrateful ass since you were born. I also refuse to believe that you can pay for yourself (including rent, food, insurance, etc) without having a job while studying in college.
I don't think your parents are being fair either and I understand that this is a rageblog, but still...get over it. They're your parents.
BTW...I also have one question about your dad: Why the fuck is he bragging about a UCLA degree when all he has to show for it is a store he employs his own son in?
That's no reason for your parents to be unreasonable. If he's working hard at college there's no reason for him to go home on his time off and work for free for his parents, unless they are in need of some serious help (which OP didn't mention but there still could be need for him).
If his parent's aren't going to respect him then there's no reason he should respect them, especially if his dad is raging at him like that.
EDIT: And the fact that he's worked in his dad's shop for free on previous occasions, he shouldn't have to put up with that bullshit indefinitely. AND his brother seems to get a free ride.
Also,
On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe" I know how you feel to a lesser extent but with regards to housework. I don't even bother trying to schedule my day anymore.
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I think you should calm down a bit first. I think this is more a cultural division than that of character. From personal experience, Korean parents tend to believe that their children should put family before their own personal needs. Working without pay is one of these things. They expect you to work in the store because it is the family's business. It may seem selfish for them to expect you to pay without work and to help out during your vacation. That isn't to say that your way of thinking isn't right either. Being forced to work without pay and on your limited days off of college seems quite demanding and certainly not fair. Try to see things from their point of view a bit more and hopefully you'll be less enraged and more understanding of what they're trying to do. Don't let this be something regrettable that you'll look back on in the future.
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe" Fine, I'll jump on the train.....
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Please tell me everyone here doesn't believe that Parents have some sort of god given right to 'own' their child's life forever. Any Parent who has children for the sole purpose of knowing that they have some sort of right to use them for personal usage at some point isn't a Parent at all.
That said, I have to agree with Zooey to some extent. No one is in the right in this case, but it definitely managed to quick sand its way to shit pretty quick.
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I see you have time to write a blog here. Guess its more important than helping your dad. What you gonna do on your break? Dont tell me that you gonna study all day?
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Sounds like you'd rather piss around during your holiday rather than actually having any work to do.
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Baltimore, USA22222 Posts
On May 18 2009 15:28 FirstProbe wrote: Sounds like you'd rather piss around during your holiday rather than actually having any work to do.
I would say that's the idea...
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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On May 18 2009 15:08 Dgtl wrote:Fine, I'll jump on the train..... +1
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
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On May 18 2009 15:28 FirstProbe wrote: Sounds like you'd rather piss around during your holiday rather than actually having any work to do.
Pretty sure that's the point of a Holiday... to do as much of nothing as humanly possible.
This is a special case. This guy pays his own way through college so his Parent's don't have that as leverage and can't hang it over his head.
I honestly think that the OP is closer to "right" than his father is. Think about it really.
-College is not easy shit nowadays. -His father has a kid at home that doesn't do a damn thing. -Parents don't have ownership of their kids for their entire life because they raised them. I would gladly help my parents out with things as long as they show at least a modicum amount of appreciation for it you know. A "thanks" isn't that bad. I won't go so far as being paid for it but a thanks would be chipper. -He pays for his own expansions... period
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Atleast you have parents...
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On May 18 2009 16:54 rel wrote: Atleast you have parents...
this can be interpreted two ways =o
1. at least you have parents that are there for you
2. i dont have parents, so at least you do
=[ what does it meeeean
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3861 Posts
Your dad went to UCLA as an international student (provided that you are Korean, I think?) in the 1970s? You think that was easier? And I'm also sure you couldn't get loans on your own and your parent's prolly co-signed them. That means it rides on their credit.
I understand the frustration, but it really IS a cultural divide more than anything. Instead of being the rebellious, hot headed American kid, be the more mature, college student Korean-American kid. No matter what you cannot and will not be able to escape your Korean-side, no matter how "American" you become. You have to learn to accept that.
Without raising your voice, talk with the more understanding parent. Maybe you can come to a compromise. You work one day, or half a day, and have your brother work with you. Show your parents how tough things are, bring home some books or a syllabi and show them what you need to do. Your Korean father will always think that you have it easier than him because, well, things ARE easier nowadays (not talking about coursework but life in general).
But in this situation, I don't think either of you are 100% correct in screaming at one another. That'll get you nowhere, fast.
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HonestTea
5007 Posts
There's only one douchecanoe in the OP's story.
Hint: the douchecanoe is the one with a TL account
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On May 18 2009 17:07 lilsusie wrote: Your dad went to UCLA as an international student (provided that you are Korean, I think?) in the 1970s? You think that was easier? And I'm also sure you couldn't get loans on your own and your parent's prolly co-signed them. That means it rides on their credit.
I understand the frustration, but it really IS a cultural divide more than anything. Instead of being the rebellious, hot headed American kid, be the more mature, college student Korean-American kid. No matter what you cannot and will not be able to escape your Korean-side, no matter how "American" you become. You have to learn to accept that.
Without raising your voice, talk with the more understanding parent. Maybe you can come to a compromise. You work one day, or half a day, and have your brother work with you. Show your parents how tough things are, bring home some books or a syllabi and show them what you need to do. Your Korean father will always think that you have it easier than him because, well, things ARE easier nowadays (not talking about coursework but life in general).
But in this situation, I don't think either of you are 100% correct in screaming at one another. That'll get you nowhere, fast.
just what this thread needed... some soothing ♀ rationale. + Show Spoiler +now imagine lilsusie saying this while wearing the succubus costume.
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good old dad wasn't an international student. He moved to Virginia i forget when because thats where the family was set up. Then when the family moved to Cali, he had to follow. Ironically he did not get accepted into UCLA and had to transfer in from UC San Diego.
Oh and in conversations, my opinion does not matter. he never listens to me anyways so i don't even bother trying to correct his bullshit allegations. He assumes when he tells me not to assume. Honestly, he cares less about me. He has his oldest daughter who goes to UC Berkeley to be the pride of the family and the youngest son to make up for the mistakes that i made. Sad but true. XD. The point of this rant isn't to complain about the problems (mostly). Its about the dad being in the "Almighty" complex. ive basically have had enough of it.
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
On May 18 2009 17:07 lilsusie wrote: Your dad went to UCLA as an international student (provided that you are Korean, I think?) in the 1970s? You think that was easier? And I'm also sure you couldn't get loans on your own and your parent's prolly co-signed them. That means it rides on their credit.
I understand the frustration, but it really IS a cultural divide more than anything. Instead of being the rebellious, hot headed American kid, be the more mature, college student Korean-American kid. No matter what you cannot and will not be able to escape your Korean-side, no matter how "American" you become. (plenty of American families were the son and daughters helps out no matter what in the family business just because it is the right thing to do) You have learn to accept that. (You have to appreciate having that privilege; that "god forsaken" store and your parents work paid for the families livelihood.)
Without raising your voice, talk with the more understanding parent. Maybe you can come to a compromise. You work one day, or half a day, and have your brother work with you. Show your parents how tough things are, bring home some books or a syllabus and show them what you need to do. Your Korean father will always think that you have it easier than him because, well, things ARE easier nowadays (not talking about coursework but life in general).
But in this situation, I don't think either of you are 100% correct in screaming at one another. That'll get you nowhere, fast.
- what susie said with a few corrections but I prefer HonestTea spartan synthesis.
Who you think your parents are working for?
If I were your father and I read this blog I'd be physically ill at the reality that despite my efforts I raised a sniveling lying selfish narrow minded spoiled brat who spews out an idiotic rant of how he won't ever communicate again with his family (including his "freeloader" brother and his "bitchy" sister) and all because he had to work a few days on the "family" business. And you said you are in college? Sounds more like high school teenager. Man up.
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3861 Posts
On May 18 2009 17:28 theron[wdt] wrote: good old dad wasn't an international student. He moved to Virginia i forget when because thats where the family was set up. Then when the family moved to Cali, he had to follow. Ironically he did not get accepted into UCLA and had to transfer in from UC San Diego.
Oh and in conversations, my opinion does not matter. he never listens to me anyways so i don't even bother trying to correct his bullshit allegations. He assumes when he tells me not to assume. Honestly, he cares less about me. He has his oldest daughter who goes to UC Berkeley to be the pride of the family and the youngest son to make up for the mistakes that i made. Sad but true. XD. The point of this rant isn't to complain about the problems (mostly). Its about the dad being in the "Almighty" complex. ive basically have had enough of it.
This sounds so condescending (and I apologize) but my GOD, you sound like me when I was 15. You're obviously older than that. "ive basically have had enough of it" already tells me that you're in no position to compromise OR be the bigger, more accepting person in this ordeal. No matter how "shitty" they treat you and no matter how much you feel that he "cares less about you" the reason they work, the reason they live is to see their kids grow up and be successful. That includes you, the one who made whatever mistakes you made.
It's true (and I hate hate hate admitting it) but you can ONLY see how they feel when you are put in a similar situation as them or are a parent yourself.
Your opinion does not seem to matter to them because probably of how you present it to them. If you have a history of being whiney ("I have to work AGAIN? God, this is so UNFAIR~~~") then of course they will not take you seriously. You are their child. It doesn't matter if you're 10, 25 or 50 you will STILL and ALWAYS be their child. Prove to them that they can treat you like an adult and they will. I'm STILL working on that and I'm 28.
I'm not saying that dad's "Almighty" complex is correct - not at all. But it's about you learning to see where he's coming from and accepting that ... as your character may be set already in your 20 years of life... your father's ways are more carved in stone as he is THAT much older than you. How can you expect him to change, when you yourself refuse to?
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I grew up with a dad very similar to yours. He also had a pretty warped view on the world. You have to vent somehow, and you rightfully should. But don't let it get to your head.
I'll try to talk from my own experiences. Basically, you have to realize your dad will probably never change his ways. If you've been a certain way for 40+ years, you're going to stay that way. Your decision now is whether you want to get away from your dad or stay to patch things up. Keep in mind you can and will go back and forth between the two perspectives for years. Generation gaps are not easy nor are always possible to bridge.
You're in college now, so your choices now affect the rest of your life and if you don't make the most of this time, you will only have yourself to blame. If you really are fully financially independent, then you have to act like it. He doesn't make the decision for you anymore, and if you let him you will only regret it. Get out from under his shadow. But you must keep a level head. Better to make your own mistakes, but don't make stupid ones. Don't let anger cloud your judgment.
You have to step back and see the bigger picture, which is what you want your life to become. Man up, be more mature about this. You're not a kid anymore. Ranting and fuming about childhood anger does nothing but waste your time. Whether you want to go home or not, whether you want to work or live there or not -- it's all your choice now. Whatever choice you make, you won't make everyone happy, not even yourself. You won't. But you can be a better man and look at yourself in the mirror without seeing the tantrum-throwing kid you sound like now, and you won't see your dad looking down at you either.
tl:dr = Man up. Get over it. You're grown now. Their words may have been the law before, but it's you make the decisions now. Keep you head on, don't go berserk over a crappy store job.
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If you feel strong enough then just don't talk to them anymore, you apparently have a job and student loans will get you through college just don't fuck up a class. Then join the army/navy and see the world. Become a mercenary after you are discharged and let your family and friends be able to track you via a social networking site such as facebook and when they see you in danger. They will crack and apologize. You can then write a book and pay off your student loans from your soldier of fortune pay and book sales.
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On May 18 2009 18:01 {CC}StealthBlue wrote: If you feel strong enough then just don't talk to them anymore, you apparently have a job and student loans will get you through college just don't fuck up a class. Then join the army/navy and see the world. Become a mercenary after you are discharged and let your family and friends be able to track you via a social networking site such as facebook and when they see you in danger. They will crack and apologize. You can then write a book and pay off your student loans from your soldier of fortune pay and book sales.
you basically have my entire life written down there, except for the mercenary part. those guys are getting reamed right now
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ISn't it illegal for anyone to work for less than minimum wage unless they volunteer for it? And even then aren't there tax obligations on the labor or something?
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Basically to sum up this thread... asians: You are ungrateful, selfish, and naive! culture blah blah blah, have more respect! non-asians: lol douchecanoe!!!!
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On May 18 2009 18:13 Urth wrote: Basically to sum up this thread... asians: You are ungrateful, selfish, and naive! culture blah blah blah, have more respect! non-asians: lol douchecanoe!!!!
haha
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hm, i gotta work with my dad a lot too, and i know i need to help out and stuff like that, but what gets to me is that most of the time he doesn't even ask me if i wanna do it, or can i, its like the concept of me deciding what i wanna do on my time doesnt exist, when he wants something to get done, i drop everything im doing no matter how important i might think it is and do it, its not about the work, id just like if he treated me like my decisions mattered.
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Well, tell your dad if you go to work you'll have lousy grades and drop out of school. No need for a fight IMO. Just a little diplomacy.
And you can try to make the parents to treat you like an adult. Like my dad was talking crap on me one day about life and what's important and I said "Ok, look, I graduated a goddamn veterinary medicine, I've been through a shitload of crap for those 6 years and I never asked for your help. So just treat me like I ain't a kid no more, please. I really can do without your advice on life...". What was weird - he stopped acting like I am a retard and everything is fine. In other words - stand for yourself, express your position normally and I believe every sane person will respect your choices and you chosen way of life.
This, or the advice for the military
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Hey, Dads will always be dads, no matter how right you are in an argument they will never let them pride get in the way of being right.
Come on, Don't exile yourself from your own home. It's great to have parents and once you finish college you'll get the respect you deserve because he will be proud of you.
Oh I forgot, My dad treats me very well. We only clash when it comes to school. But now we're like best friends after I got my first work.
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University IS really easy. Family is important.
But I still agree with the OP. Although I would never yell at my parents, I would never be afraid to say "I don't have time," or "I'm exhausted."
This whole bullshit some posters have been saying... "Your parents paid for your ungrateful ass your whole childhood!" So what? Did anyone on earth ever ask to be born? Has it ever been legal to throw your own kid out on the street? If you have a kid, you already accepted that you're going to have to do a lot for it. That's part of living in society. Your kid isn't supposed to pay for itself and come back in dividends later... I mean, it does, since when you're too old and weak to work, they're the ones keeping society working for you... But it's not supposed to financially save you. That's incredibly selfish thinking.
I believe in family devotion, but it has to be voluntary. No one, even family, can't expect favours from someone they're absolutely nasty to. Please and thank-you goes a long way.
In short... Family means anything is forgivable. But it doesn't mean tolerance is unlimited.
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On May 18 2009 23:38 Chef wrote: University IS really easy. Family is important.
But I still agree with the OP. Although I would never yell at my parents, I would never be afraid to say "I don't have time," or "I'm exhausted."
This whole bullshit some posters have been saying... "Your parents paid for your ungrateful ass your whole childhood!" So what? Did anyone on earth ever ask to be born? Has it ever been legal to throw your own kid out on the street? If you have a kid, you already accepted that you're going to have to do a lot for it. That's part of living in society. Your kid isn't supposed to pay for itself and come back in dividends later... I mean, it does, since when you're too old and weak to work, they're the ones keeping society working for you... But it's not supposed to financially save you. That's incredibly selfish thinking.
I believe in family devotion, but it has to be voluntary. No one, even family, can't expect favours from someone they're absolutely nasty to. Please and thank-you goes a long way.
In short... Family means anything is forgivable. But it doesn't mean tolerance is unlimited.
I agree completely with this post apart from the part about uni being easy. Seriously wtf.
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Vatican City State1176 Posts
On May 18 2009 23:38 Chef wrote: University IS really easy. Family is important.
that's pure arrogance
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Kay.
I'll clarify what I mean, I guess. When I say university is easy, I mean it's easy to pass and get your degree, which is all that really matters. It's not easy to get an A in every course, and it's hard to maintain a scholarship that demands a 90+ average, but basically anyone who tries is going to pass their courses. In my opinion, anything where success is never in doubt is pretty much defined as easy.
I'm just going to assume 'family is important' doesn't need clarification
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On May 19 2009 00:10 Chef wrote:Kay. I'll clarify what I mean, I guess. When I say university is easy, I mean it's easy to pass and get your degree, which is all that really matters. It's not easy to get an A in every course, and it's hard to maintain a scholarship that demands a 90+ average, but basically anyone who tries is going to pass their courses. In my opinion, anything where success is never in doubt is pretty much defined as easy. I'm just going to assume 'family is important' doesn't need clarification
That's not all that really matters. Success is measured completely differently for different people. Anyone that works hard is going to pass, it's not simply a case of trying. Sometimes even passing isn't easy.
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I can only see it as being difficult if you have a job thrown in there as well... If you're devoted to your studying... You should feel confident every exam in any course. We're not talking Harvard Law School here... Just an undergraduate degree.
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On May 19 2009 00:27 Chef wrote: I can only see it as being difficult if you have a job thrown in there as well... If you're devoted to your studying... You should feel confident every exam in any course. We're not talking Harvard Law School here... Just an undergraduate degree.
Are you fucking kidding me. I'm supposed to be doing 45 hours of work a week. That's more than 6 hours every single day. I'm not ignorant enough to think that this is harder than having a job or supporting a family or something but it is not easy.
Don't make blanket statements like university is easy.
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What... I meant if you're going to school and have a job at the same time, then university might be hard. But if you're just doing university... That's about 15 hours of classes a week, + studying. Like... I don't even know what to say. For an undergraduate, they want you to pay all your years of tuition, they're not going out of their way to make things difficult... There's tonnes of counselling, student services, and library resources to help you. Prof's have to maintain a certain number of office hours just for students who are having difficulty... If someone doesn't take advantage of any of these, and they fail, they didn't fail because university is so hard... I mean... I can't even imagine failing putting the minimal effort I do now, much less if I went full force. If you want to say university is hard it's because you want to feel superior to people who aren't wealthy enough to be in university.
Really... High school was more demanding.
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On May 19 2009 00:47 Chef wrote: What... I meant if you're going to school and have a job at the same time, then university might be hard. But if you're just doing university... That's about 15 hours of classes a week, + studying. Like... I don't even know what to say. For an undergraduate, they want you to pay all your years of tuition, they're not going out of their way to make things difficult... There's tonnes of counselling, student services, and library resources to help you. Prof's have to maintain a certain number of office hours just for students who are having difficulty... If someone doesn't take advantage of any of these, and they fail, they didn't fail because university is so hard... I mean... I can't even imagine failing putting the minimal effort I do now, much less if I went full force. If you want to say university is hard it's because you want to feel superior to people who aren't wealthy enough to be in university.
Really... High school was more demanding.
Don't assume why I'm saying these things, the reasons I'm saying these things are laid out in my posts. You said university is easy, I disagree. I'm not making a case for university being hard, I'm making a case for university not being easy, as you said in your sweeping statement, which was extremely ignorant.
I know the support is there for students but that doesn't make it easy. High school might have been more demanding for you, great, but don't be ignorant enough to think that all people have it easy at university.
EDIT: To clarify I meant I'm supposed to do 45 hours of uni work a week, 20-25 hours at uni for lectures/labs and 20-25 hours studying in my own time. I don't consider that easy.
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damn OP, you're silly. you're seriously considering giving up your relations with your family over a few days of work? like, how do you even think that a few days of your time holds more value than people that unconditionally love you and will be there for you no matter what? and have you even thought of it from their point of view? Here's their kid, a total whiny brat who won't even come home for the weekend to see the family, and instead swears at his father? like omg, how do you think they feel? honestly, you don't act like you're 20 or whatever at all =/
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I know how you feel man, I'm one of those really, really broke college students myself, and as many people here already know, I barely got the money for my food xD so I know what you're going through.
Fuck those who want community service from you.
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Despite whatever logic or reasoning you can think of, it's not going to work. I tried all that stuff on my parents too (korean) In the end, you give up, give in, and things work out much better. Then you wonder why you didn't do that sooner.
It's really really hard to force yourself to just give unconditional respect to your parents but just try your best to do so.
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On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe"
And I agree with Chef Uni isn't hard to pass.
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On May 19 2009 13:42 seppolevne wrote:And I agree with Chef Uni isn't hard to pass.
It's a pretty ignorant thing to agree with.
How can you know whether uni is difficult for a person or not until you know
-Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc)
+ Show Spoiler + but seriously, how can you say something is "SO ez" without even taking into account basic things such as which university/college the person is attending, what the person is studying, the person's course load, etc? Come on.
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On May 19 2009 02:39 EsX_Raptor wrote: I know how you feel man, I'm one of those really, really broke college students myself, and as many people here already know, I barely got the money for my food xD so I know what you're going through.
Fuck those who want community service from you. It's not community service if it's for your parents.
On May 19 2009 13:42 seppolevne wrote:And I agree with Chef Uni isn't hard to pass. It's not hard for most people (most being people with single majors, and who aren't looking to be top premed grad), but it's not easy...not by a long shot.
To OP: Easy is working and being given food and room and board.
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On May 19 2009 15:53 Reflex wrote:Show nested quote +On May 19 2009 13:42 seppolevne wrote:On May 18 2009 14:14 anderoo wrote: 5/5 for "douchecanoe" And I agree with Chef Uni isn't hard to pass. It's a pretty ignorant thing to agree with. How can you know whether uni is difficult for a person or not until you know -Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc) + Show Spoiler + but seriously, how can you say something is "SO ez" without even taking into account basic things such as which university/college the person is attending, what the person is studying, the person's course load, etc? Come on. Just going to sorta nitpick and say that "SO ez" is not the same as "isn't hard". Yes the difficulty will vary from person to person. Maybe what I consider an effort level of "easy" someone else considers "hard". 40 hours of work a week I would consider "normal", as everyone has to do it. If you want to get an A in everything while volunteering 20 hours a week, yes/maybe that would be hard, but if you managed to get into university, getting a degree is nothing that you haven't already dealt with.
Dunno, I posted that (the first one) quick, and if you (or someone else) could respond I would like to clear up my own (conflicted) thoughts about it.
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College back in the 70's i think was way fucking easier than what it is today. Think about it, entrance exams: The fucking SATs just got raised to 2400 because of a new section added. That's like saying people used to be way taller back in the day: they used to measure their heights in feet, and now (most) people use meters, and have less of them.
I remember a biblical passage where the children must respect the parents or something like that. He pulled that today and he hasn't been to church in ages, yeah hes a real disciple. the rest of the quote states that in order for the parent to receive that respect, they must respect the children in return. I guess he read that first half a long time ago, didn't finish, and went to town with it. Uh...what quote are you thinking of? Isn't the 5th commandment the one that comes to mind?
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dude, I know we already established you live right nearby me & whatnot
so now we will establish that if you ever want to come over and get wasted, smoke hookah (or smoke something else, heh-heh-heh), you're more welcome to come chill out & relax
p.s. also 5/5'd for douchecanoe lol
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On May 19 2009 02:34 JeeJee wrote: damn OP, you're silly. you're seriously considering giving up your relations with your family over a few days of work? It's obviously about more than that. And this is an anonymous rant on the internet so don't expect everything in his post to be completely accurate and truthful.
But, OP, I'm still trying to figure out how to fucking talk to my dad too. He's way off in his own world and since I can't find a job (applied over 15 places and followed up at every one) he's going insane. This might just be a stage of fatherhood
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