EPTNothing Left to Live For - Page 2
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il0seonpurpose
Korea (South)5638 Posts
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Xeris
Iran17695 Posts
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Ghardo
Germany1685 Posts
uwaa.. dunno what's really making you happy but for me it's getting shit done and progress in life. I'm master in procrastination and the endless delay of tasks I gotta do is what I'm best at, but when I finally pull myself together and finish the crap I always feel happier and freed. I also find it funny to get nerdy at times.. a decent obsession is really cool.. if it may be some hardcore game like WoW (which may fuck up your life in other ways) or other (better) games like sc, dota, cs... a bit of "lose control" is always good. a bit. are you bored by our comfortable, decadent society? Maybe you miss the natural predators and life on the edge? Equip yourself only with a Haori and a Katana and live the lonely life of a last samurai in the Japanese highlands (that's what I dream about sometimes.. but I guess I would really regret it after the first few nights). if u have much more to say then go for it Mr. 3 posts. | ||
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liger13
United States1060 Posts
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
ending your life to soothe your own self would hurt your family and friends, which is obviously a bad thing - the sadness caused to your family would exceed the happiness you gain from suiciding. and judging from your op, it seems that sadness caused to your family would also bring sadness to you. that's why you wouldn't end your life. sure itll seem like youd feel better, but youd actually feel worse because you know what you had done to your family and friends if you commit suicide. this means you have a conscience. but then you also bring up death through other means - other means that arent your doing. would you still not feel guilty if you had wanted such a death - it would still cause the same sadness in your family and friends. maybe a bit less. is it not the best thing to keep yourself going through life to bring happiness to those youre close with? if you think about it, it may seem like loved ones are being selfish. they want you to be alive and well so that they may be happy, have peace of mind. not a great way to think about it....i guess this is for another topic. i think you need to change your perspective. could you talk more about what your situation is? | ||
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Railxp
Hong Kong1313 Posts
To me the meaning of life is to be happy. There is no higher supernatural purpose to serve, other than the Overmind. There is no afterlife paradise to enjoy upon judgement of the worthiness of our lives. Other primal desires that derive satisfaction all fall within the category of being happy. Such as mauling scouting SCVs, having carnal orgies with other zerglings, and teasing slow moving Overlords. Zergs do possess a higher intelligence and consciousness, enough that sometimes the pursuit of happiness instead becomes deep despair, which can surpass the instinct of preservation of life. *Cough*: Banelings In economics many people are familiar with the concept of utility. The units of utility are what drive our decision-making, measuring the marginal utility gained versus sacrifice. Indeed, every lowly drone understands this, marginal mineral mined vs marginal satisfaction of hauling ass 24/7 to the same goddamn mineral patch. Meshing this concept with the meaning of life, one's overall happiness is equivalent to utility. A life is worth living if one's overall happiness levels exceed their unhappiness levels. For most zergs this is luckily positive; for others, it is not, which may lead to suicidal behaviour. *Cough, Cough*: Banelings Zergs perceive happiness differently. Some zergs are fortunate to experience great joys and contentment in their lives. Such as a Lurker behind mineral line ^-^ Other, even in the exact same situations, simply feel less enjoyment: Drone destined to morph into hatcheries and forever feel their orifices stretched as they force larvae from their three holes. On the other side of the equation, zergs will also experience sadness, anger, hatred, and other negative emotions to differing degrees of intensity, again even in the exact same circumstances. Who knows, maybe one of those three Drones actually LIKE the smell of vespene gas. Those who experience little joy and heavy sorrow live a life in which unhappiness exceeds happiness, marginal sacrifice is greater than marginal utility, and their life is meaningless. What else do they have to live for? FOR THE SWARM. One important thing to note is that this graph largely focuses on the projected happiness vs sadness of an individual, rather than the historic. An optimistic zergling will be able to forecast greater happiness in their remaining life and choose to remain alive in order to try to attain that enjoyment. Another zerglingmay project a negative happiness balance in their remaining lifespan... what is the meaning of that life? Why not just stay burrowed forever and live life in a dark hole? This leads to my main issue: I have nothing left to live for. My perceived happiness levels are not enough to overcome my perceived sadness levels. MUST MINE MOAR HAPPY  I know that many zergs would absolutely love to be in my shoes, that I am very fortunate and could hardly ask for more in my life (except for moar minerals), that many of my friends envy to be the person that I am. HAR HAR I BETTAR THN ALL THE OTHER 4sz5sz6sz7sz. But they would not understand the madness in my overminds. I guess this sounds rather suicidal and emo, but don't worry, I do not do anything recklessly. IE: Rush a bunker.I regularly daydream of a painless, instant death by ninja scarab or Random DT. Ask yourself this question: what is the most pleasant time of your day or life routine? For me, it is unquestionably burrowing or unburrowing and being able to stay there. My mind is clear, my world is safe, my body is comfortable. Death is simply burrowing too deep. What is wrong with that? It halts the happiness deficit from deepening and limits my surplus of sorrow. AGAIN: MUST MINE MOAR HAPPY. Every night when I go to sleep, I wish to be visited by a little red lazer dot and Nuclear Launch Detected would fall from the sky and smash me to smithereens. Then I would never have to unburrow again. But yet I cannot go for now. I owe too much to the swarm. I saw how hard those drones worked to harvest my 25 mineral worth. I know I will never be able to repay them, in terms of sheer hard work and effort. If I selfishly end my own life, it would simply be too unfair for them, in my eyes, in having invested so much and having all 25 minerals wasted, without even getting off a scout. In a way, the injustice in their resultant unhappiness is enough for me to stick around. THINK OF ALL THOSE SAD DRONES WHEN YOU MIS MICRO Due to this, I must rely on a form of death that is not my borne from my own cause, from spontaneous irradiation to a uncontrollable defiler plague followed by accidentally tripping. It would have been beyond my control. Writing this stuff is my form of selfish comedy. I feel that if someday I did die, my legacy must continue in this world. My torment would end, but my words and thoughts do not suffer in the same way I do. If I can record them somewhere, at least my ideas do not go down with me. To satisfy my enormous ego, I must let the world know my 5, unupgraded damage while I still have the chance. And I have much more to say. --- I must apologize for the injustice i do to your serious blog post, but it was for the lulz. Dont use your obligation to your parents/friends to guilt yourself into living. Live because you like them and want to give back. Live because you enjoy life, because you like noticing <insert small cheesey overused insignificant detail of daily life: eg bird chirp, beautiful pattern of bird-poop-splat on car>. Live because you like to play Starcraft. Projecting that your future sadness will outweigh your future happiness is pure bullshit. Since when did you become all-knowing? Assuming that you are at the average age of TL.net of early twenties/late teens (i pull this out of my ass), you base your assumptions of the rest of your life on just 1/5th of your time on earth. Journaling is definitely a good form of self therapy, but if you really do need help go ring up a therapist. Idly toying with thoughts of suicide is an insult to those who suffer major depression + insomnia and cant get out of bed. If something caused this vile spew of nihilistic thought, it is much better for you to address the core issue/event rather than to disassociate, project and philosophize. | ||
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
if you truly are so dispassioned towards the world that you feel you have no reason left to live, then master the way in which you experience the world and you will not suffer regardless of what is happening. perceptions are not universal. 1 person suffers from hunger, another does not suffer from that same hunger. 1 person laughs at a joke, another does not. 1 person gets lonely, another does not. 1 person gets defensive at being insulted, another does not. 1 person responds to violence with violence, another does not. 1 person has a low pain tolerance, another has a high pain tolerance. you can change your own perceptions through mindfulness and proper understanding p.s: I am basically convinced that rebirth is real. if you kill yourself the experiences will be reborn, regardless of a perceived connection to your past life. | ||
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
On February 20 2009 11:54 Railxp wrote: Idly toying with thoughts of suicide is an insult to those who suffer major depression + insomnia and cant get out of bed. If something caused this vile spew of nihilistic thought, it is much better for you to address the core issue/event rather than to disassociate, project and philosophize. you don't know what you are talking about. On February 20 2009 11:54 Railxp wrote: Idly toying with thoughts of suicide as opposed to committing suicide without thinking about it? or thinking about it while you do it? is an insult to those who suffer major depression + insomnia and cant get out of bed. again, you don't know what you are talking about. people suffer in many ways. not having a purpose is one of those ways. If something caused this vile spew of nihilistic thought, it is much better for you to address the core issue/event rather than to disassociate, project and philosophize. what does this even mean. stop judging people you can't identify with. | ||
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Dgtl
Canada889 Posts
 Edit: Dude, if you die you don't feel shit. YOUR FUCKING DEAD. You won't notice not having sorrow, you won't notice not being happy, you won't notice the comfertableness, you won't notice your computer is still on and you won't notice how fucking bad you will smell in 4 days. | ||
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Avidkeystamper
United States8556 Posts
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deathgod6
United States5064 Posts
Humbug! | ||
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pSikh0
163 Posts
I mean, you probably are ready to kill yourself if you have nothing to do besides actually post your very deep emotions in a community dealing about video games mostly, but since I'm expected to be nice I should probably just say if posting here about that was honestly more enjoyable than doing something else like playing games that is probably just indicating you have some social problems and isn't getting enough social enjoyment that you just have to share something to an online community lol. It's ok I can relate to pretty much almost everything you said up there personally but yeah I'm a kid, not an intellectual and don't plan to be one nor do i think of myself as one, so don't really take my word for anything but if you honestly are stuck between the dilemma of guilt of killing yourself and wanting to kill yourself due to lack of motivation to live, I'd like to think that you start caring less about your social image. What I mean is, you start doing whatever the fuck you want and embarrass yourself but don't care so much about it. Of course, living to not embarrass yourself is pretty pointless but I mean it's better than living for nothing so I guess there's a start. But yeah, you don't have to be so emotional about it either cause yes from my pessimistic viewpoint, no matter what the shit humans do, its not going to affect anything universally. What I mean is, no matter how advanced we get, no matter how much we colonize, we're still stuck on an infinitely endless path to perfection if you look at it from a universal perspective (I'm not religious, to you religious people, this won't make sense). Life in general has no ultimate goal... from what I believe, we're just mere pawns to the infinite universe and no matter what we do or try to do, its not like the universe really cares and has no ultimate meaning in whatever we do (yes this doesn't make sense either but I'm not good at expressing my thought into words so oh well). I mean yeah we'll probably end up with like total domination of everything if human race lives on but i mean what are you accomplishing you're just colonizing more planets infinitely and advancing technology infinitely without end. I gotta say, you're not the only one that feels this way, and I'm pretty sure you either respect people who live knowing this or look down upon them cause they're too stupid and ignorant to care. But I mean, you don't have to take it so deep as to kill yourself just because you're way more conscious of this "pointlessness" of life you just think about it too much and if you can't really get rid of the feeling of lack of motivation just start doing random shit and try to feel good about it because you know you actually have some shit to do. Or like other people already said, get involved in things because they will keep you preoccupied so you don't actually think about killing yourself. I mean, the reason you would actually POST this is because you're so not preoccupied and thus nothing to live for, but either way you wouldn't be posting let alone thinking about this if you had something to do. I could try to like be soft and try to convince you that life is a wonderful thing to enjoy but being the bluntly honest person I am I just have to say this: get a life. (Or you can live like me and just live like a robot since I don't have a life; just be motivated in life through a passion of hatred. Rant to your friends about people you hate and other things like that etc.) Yeah I realize how egotistical and hypocritical and wannabe I sound but hey, please don't judge me since I'm just trying to respond to the OP as best I can in my own way. Also don't take my post seriously if you don't want to cause i realize my opinion is just retarded to other people so if you think its kiddy, immature, or stupid, just at least don't try to make a point out of it. I actually enjoy my immature youthfulness since it covers up my emo nature that I'd like to say i share with the OP. | ||
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Pengu1n
United States552 Posts
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Yogurt
United States4258 Posts
In other words, you physically do not know what you want. The act of sitting around pondering it is apparently what fucks you up. | ||
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liger13
United States1060 Posts
On February 20 2009 12:43 Pengu1n wrote: If the meaning of life is to be happy, then why do people come into the world crying? huh huh??? its of pure joy.... and WTF just happened... i was about to rape that zerg and you disc me? it was so warm in there... WTF | ||
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Pioneer
994 Posts
On February 20 2009 12:11 travis wrote: as opposed to committing suicide without thinking about it? or thinking about it while you do it? again, you don't know what you are talking about. people suffer in many ways. not having a purpose is one of those ways. Most people that commit suicide have thought about it over a long period of time. It's not something you rush into, it's a build-up to the end. And this guy is being insulting. Most real suicides/attempts are done in an act of shame and desperation. Most people that actually do commit suicide either leave a note or nothing at all and the note tends to be full of shame and apologies. This guy is looking for attention. | ||
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Game
3191 Posts
Depression is a strong motivator to do stupid things, and to bash on yourself. Whatever you do, learn to live another day, every time. Our days are numbered and precious no matter how bad life can get, because all you can do is learn from it. My suggestion is to dig deep, not seek any type of counselling other than from your loved ones, because you feel nothing from some guy/girl you just met. | ||
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SnowFantasy
4173 Posts
the guy that taught lastshadow? | ||
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Terranesque
119 Posts
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
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