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I just broke a heart today.
So I was hanging out with a good friend of mine (who is still in college). We were playing some piano and just chillin around, then we went out for dinner and I saw this girl that I knew who hadn't graduated yet (we're in the same big circle of friends, I guess, I've gone shopping with her a couple of times but nothing really). She said she was free for the evening (yay!). My buddies are going to knock themselves out at the local watering hole so I decide to grab some coffee with this girl. She's good looking, decent face, asian, a ballet dancer so she has to keep herself slim, and even though she doesn't look it, is really, really innocent and sweet.
She looks a lot like Rachel Ngan:
prolly around 5'5", 95-100 pounds
Coffee is great, we talk about my company, what happened, we talk about piano, we talk about parents. Great convo, but in retrospect, I probably should've taken her question "are you going to be in town now that your job is gone" as a warning sign, but by the time I was drinking coffee I was just horny as fuck, being single for a while, and didn't want to think too hard about anything.
After coffee we went back to her place, and I go to her upright and start playing pieces for her, sing a little Jay Chou, etc. Real stupid stuff, haven't pulled something like it since undergrad, but it works and we hook up. (By the way, Le Cygne and Clair de Lune are must-haves in your repertoire if you want to do this).
Afterwards I wake up and I feel great because this is the first time I've hooked up while sober for almost two months, so I give her a peck on the cheek and go for a shower. I come out and she's awake and checking mail, and we have breakfast. It's great, I have nothing to do, she ditches class, and she tries to practice her ballet moves with me, (which results in me hilariously failing).
I go home, and almost immediately afterwards she begins texting me like crazy, asking when I'm free again, etc etc. I can smell desperation coming from her end but I'm really can't figure out why a girl as hot as her would be feeling it right now... I try to be nice and groom myself, but I'm not Brad Pitt.
If it was any other desperate girl I'd probably just give it three dates and then dump her, but she's really a pretty nice girl so I decided to just let her know how I felt.
She got pretty distraught about it, maybe she's been fucked around with by other guys? What should I do?
  
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Maybe she finally wants a nice guy!
To be honest, my women problems would fill a book. I can't help you. =(
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On January 09 2009 18:37 Psyonic_Reaver wrote:
Maybe she finally wants a nice guy!
To be honest, my women problems would fill a book. I can't help you. =(
Yah, so stay away! Lol jk
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if you don't like her for "real", I say real a stable relationship or maybe just to see how things go and stuff, then don't tell her you do.
Don't lie to her, that's the worst thing you could do.
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MrHoon
10183 Posts
funkie summed it up pretty well on his last sentence
Don't lie to her. Seriously.
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Maybe go out with her more, and you'll grow to like her. If you already know you don't, I guess just stay friends.
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Go out with her, and maybe she got something what u like in woman 
If not, u can be her friend.
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So what exactly was your objection toward her? I'm assuming you won't be around since your job isn't around anymore? But if that was so, you'd think she'd have explored further into the subject to see if this was just a hook up situation.. Anyways, if you're going to be around give her a chance. I can tell that you admire her/like her just from the way you write about her. If you are indeed leaving because of your job, just give it to her straight. Nothing much else you can do.
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Belgium9949 Posts
yeah you should be honest in this situation
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Give her a chance? I guess if you really don't like her, just drop it then. Sigh..
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On January 09 2009 20:09 meegrean wrote:
Give her a chance? I guess if you really don't like her, just drop it then. Sigh..
On January 09 2009 19:13 selboN wrote:
So what exactly was your objection toward her? I'm assuming you won't be around since your job isn't around anymore? But if that was so, you'd think she'd have explored further into the subject to see if this was just a hook up situation.. Anyways, if you're going to be around give her a chance. I can tell that you admire her/like her just from the way you write about her. If you are indeed leaving because of your job, just give it to her straight. Nothing much else you can do.
You two are both on the wrong page. It's not about giving the girl a chance. Apparently, from what he's said about her, she's a great girl too. She's pretty, talented, etc.
But, he's not looking for commitment. He wanted to have some fun, but now he has a clingy girl on his hands.
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Be straight with her. Tell her that she's a great girl, but that you're not looking for commitment. Don't feel sorry for her to the point where you'll try to be friends with her. You don't have that kind of obligation to fulfill.
This happened to me once before. I met this new girl, had sex on the first date. Then, I kept getting e-mail and texts. I stopped responding, and the texts became like, "Hey, where are you? I see how it is, jerk!"
I didn't tell her that I wasn't into commitment. So, the only way that I got rid of her was by ignoring her. She'll probably be upset if I try to contact her again.
[Edit]
Wait, she's a good friend?! Shit. That makes it hard. She is probably gunning for a serious relationship. I guess you'll just have to be honest. Most likely, you'll lose her as a friend..... for now...
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just be nice. And sometimes people just like you, it's not desperation.
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you OBVIOUSLY like this chick, desperation, texting like crazy?
tell her the texting has 2 b cut down, but do it subtle..
or just dont txt back till next day. dont cut her off man, have a little respect
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13196 Posts
On January 09 2009 20:41 Piy wrote:
just be nice. And sometimes people just like you, it's not desperation.
yap yap!
but it might be too late ... hahah
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On January 09 2009 18:30 t_co wrote:
I go home, and almost immediately afterwards she begins texting me like crazy, asking when I'm free again, etc etc. I can smell desperation coming from her end but I'm really can't figure out why a girl as hot as her would be feeling it right now... I try to be nice and groom myself, but I'm not Brad Pitt.
If it was any other desperate girl I'd probably just give it three dates and then dump her, but she's really a pretty nice girl so I decided to just let her know how I felt.
She got pretty distraught about it, maybe she's been fucked around with by other guys? What should I do?
Most likely both of you feel that the other is doing a downtrade by going out with you/her. Basically she thinks that you are really too good for her and you think that she is a bit too good for you.
This can easily wreck the relationship if you do not handle this carefully. The other posters seems to have missed that you already said that you told the girl how you felt and that she was distraught by it.
Anyway, I have no idea how you should handle this really. Just understand that she probably have a bad self image etc, like an emo girl.
Or maybe I misunderstood your intentions, but she really is an emo girl. If you don't treat her well she will take her life and haunt you like this:
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paper forgot how to spell 'fap'
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Not sure I understand how people get off on people thinking others are desperate simply because they like someone. I know how the text frenzy can be, but seriously be a little more level headed hell you play the piano wtf
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Kentor
United States5784 Posts
On January 09 2009 21:27 BottleAbuser wrote:
paper forgot how to spell 'fap'
need more pics
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you dont have a job yet, can still get a girl?! beggars cant be choosers!
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honesty all the way; don't be an asshole and simply use her...
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EPT![[image loading]](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2026/2270687350_4fa1def292_o.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://www.gothicwallpaper.info/images/wmwallpapers/Emo-Girl-1.jpeg)
