On July 04 2008 06:35 Jibba wrote: Mischy, how can you possibly fuck a person like this? Does he have a 14" cock made out of diamonds or something?
Jesus christ. Man. Ok. The fact that you even used that word just...well...I have lost even more respect for you. Seriously, you want reasons? This is just for you jibba, cos both mischy and I agree you are an arrogant cunt. I would really prefer that people other than jibba don't read this, but I want to keep any argument we have public because I don't want to have to repeat myself to any douches who are like you. So be it if I'm subjected to ridicule. I know most people who would choose to insult me have worse lives than I, and accept if they are so dissatisfied with themselves that they feel the need to take it out on me:
1. I'm far more talented than you'll ever be at lots of things (I have no proof but I really, deeply expect so)
2. I'm far more funny than you'll ever be (around people who aren't stupid, whooping american seals at least). I am not entirely in tune with TL humour because it is far below the usual sort of humour of my friends, and it's hard to stoop
3. I'm attractive
4. I'm definitely more intelligent, philosophical, wise, well-read, charming and intellectual than you
5. I'm an exciting, enthusiastic person; with a lot of time for any charitable cause. I'm a passionate and emotional philanthrope.
6. I'm an elitist, and refuse to accept anything but the best
7. I have an incredibly eclectic range of things I enjoy, which is stimulating for people around me. I am always busy. From sports/ gym, to philosophy and politics, to gaming, to music, to academia and esoteric exploration; I do a lot of things which means I have a lot of interesting things to talk about.
8. I take life seriously...I have a lot of emotion and passion. I care about things, and I'm very protective and loyal of and to my friends.
There really are many more reasons why michelle likes me, and I can say that with total confidence in her agreeing with what I've put. If I had to take a WILD shot in the dark jibba, I'd say you are either an air sign or an aries. Aries because they are pugnacious cunts, or an air sign because they always fail @ opening their minds. You are like my ex...oh shit I just checked yes you are a libra. Fucking typical haha! Man...you will never get anything more than the most basic bread and butter facts. Sorry, but you don't know what it's like to dream. You are another typical cynical air sign. You'll never be able to prove me wrong because you'll just respond with hostility. I really pity you, that you cannot see any further than the end of your nose.
Now when you do respond to this post, know that I won't respond in kind. Like I say, I'll busy myself with ONE direct flame. This isn't even a rude one, just a general negative assessment of your being. I don't want to discuss with you any further anything other than ron paul in this blog.
One of my favorites is the above post. Beyond the typical attraction to what is in the spoiler (I will cover that in a second) I love this post for its subtleties.
HamerD assumes that the target is one of two astrology signs basing his read on the person as such. Now I can say without a doubt that that is hilariously retarded. I find it especially ironic given the fact that he just got done explaining why he is so much better than anyone else, namely the person he directs this too. But really if you read that spoiler you will notice that he is above all of us as he doesn't compare and contrast but rather state absolutes.
Now to discuss the obvious: The spoiler. This racks me especially given the fact it was in spoilers. Excitement? Dramatic revelation? I have no idea why he put it in spoilers... except that he prefaces it with "I would want only you to read this and not others." SO PUT IT IN A FUCKING PM!! He is so obviously WANTING everyone to know these things that the best he could come up with for his own defense is a fucking SPOILER.. holy shit. So this strikes me on several levels: First he says that he is better than the rest of us in his spoiler yet he is so blatantly retarded that he tries some gimmick defense for what even he recognizes as a terrible instance of imaginary ego and doesn't PM the "information" but rather spoilers it because that way, only people without access to a fucking mouse cannot read the amazing attributes of this guy inside! Secondly, he bases all his self worth on the most retarded shit I have ever seen and then assumes that Jibba has none of these. This is the most common internet error known to man! Don't just assume the person is some typical nerd, especially if you want to be arguing that you are in fact not the typical nerd yourself, but just so happen to communicate via the exact same forum that you yourself base the stereotype on. Lastly, (but really I could go on all day) this is more of a pet peeve but he literally states in his bullet point "I am awesome" speech that he has "a lot of time, for any charitable cause" but later states "I am always busy..[lists things none of us plebians do because we are mere mortals]" YOU JUST CONTRADICTED YOURSELF. If you are going to tell someone how awesome you are: Don't fucking contradict yourself.
On December 19 2005 18:01 {88}iNcontroL wrote: Dad: "Oh hey hunny? Take a seat i made breakfeast for you and Henry Bigkawk."
Daughter: "One sec dad let me get a pillow, Henry went balls deep last night and i wont be able to sit for a week!"
*dad and henry high five*
Henry: "Than i cummed in her face!"
Daughter: "Yeah so hold on the syrup dad i think ive had enough sticky stuff in my face for one day!"
Mom: "Did you wear the cow girl outfit with the ass less chaps?"
Daughter: "No i went with the school girl no panties skirt look."
Dad: "Henry lay off the anal next time ok? I scrubbed her bloody underwear for a few hours yesterday and that shit still wont come out!"
*the group laughs and begins breakfeast*
You guys are right. I see nothing wrong with this at all.
Eri's response to it is awesome too rofl:
On December 19 2005 18:04 Liquid`Drone wrote: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP EXAGGERATING WHAT IM/OTHER PEOPLE ARE SAYING? MY GOD. nobody said anything even remotely close to that, an outfit like that is nothing like anything you mentioned and just because we have sex does not mean we are going out of our way to show it to them
just like how my parents have sex, it's not like they talk about it in front of me the day after. fucking christ.
but on a serious note, it is so hard to be yourself on an internet forum, I know a lot of people in tl.net that sound super stupid and their comments sound retarded, etc... but they are cool as hell I bet. It happens to me all the time... but anyways, that post from HammerD sounds tremendously stupid and nerdy itself, how can you say you are more intelligent and attractive than someone else(or everybody). Girls have different tastes all over the place and usually they are the ones that decide if you are attractive or not, you might be attractive for some type of girls but not for others... lets say Jibba was ugly and nerdy... there are still girls out there that would be willing to bone him for who he is... unless HammerD's post is just a joke then what I said wouldnt apply or wouldnt matter cuz he d be just joking anyways... is he?
LOL god those are good. Since I've only been here a short while, my favourite was nony's post about the vulture.
On May 01 2008 00:36 NonY[rC] wrote: To paraphrase Grandmaster Artosis, the entirety of Terran strategy for every matchup can be summarized as waiting to get enough tanks to kill an entire army in one volley. Even the short-sighted and simple Terran players can recognize such a great imbalance. But I have to admit, having the fastest unit in the game on only the 2nd tier of tech with a short build time, that can shoot fragmentation grenades capable of vaporizing all peons, zerglings, zealots, defilers, and high and dark templar in seconds, and can even shoot these grenades backwards without losing acceleration, AND can shit out three mini-nukes that burrow into the ground only to pop out at the perfect time and seek out an enemy unit at an inescapable speed, gives siege tanks and their arclite cannons quite a run for their money.
Ah, how could I forget their cost? Let's make a list of units (excluding peons) that are cheaper than vultures: --Zergling --Marine
HamerD is fucking arrogant douche. That was a great read. I was laughing the whole way through. I sure hope every word of that was serious because it is fucking great. I love how he says he is intelligent and then states some things that implies he takes astrology serious. What a fucking loser. Anyone who takes astrology serious is a retard. hahahahahahha I am still laughing. That post is win.
On December 19 2005 18:01 {88}iNcontroL wrote: Dad: "Oh hey hunny? Take a seat i made breakfeast for you and Henry Bigkawk."
Daughter: "One sec dad let me get a pillow, Henry went balls deep last night and i wont be able to sit for a week!"
*dad and henry high five*
Henry: "Than i cummed in her face!"
Daughter: "Yeah so hold on the syrup dad i think ive had enough sticky stuff in my face for one day!"
Mom: "Did you wear the cow girl outfit with the ass less chaps?"
Daughter: "No i went with the school girl no panties skirt look."
Dad: "Henry lay off the anal next time ok? I scrubbed her bloody underwear for a few hours yesterday and that shit still wont come out!"
*the group laughs and begins breakfeast*
You guys are right. I see nothing wrong with this at all.
I think part of sarcasm lies on the posters ability to communicate that they're kidding... People always like to say "I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, IDIOT!" while I'm just thinking ":O Maybe you should learn how to communicate yourself better then."
I guess this is mostly post embarrassingly bad posts by other users so...
Dude if u say my kid was a fuck up one more time I swear ill find u and fukc u up
Basically TL.net turning into Clan X17 for a moment
Uhmmm... Every blog by MarklarMarklar has been about him drinking and hanging out with girls... Those are pretty sad.
On June 13 2007 13:51 exalted wrote: there is a big spider under my dorm desk i don't know where the FUCK it is, holy mother fucking hsit help me please tips on how i can kill it or mother anything
On January 18 2005 03:39 M2 wrote: I have a serious girlfriend for 3 years and our relationship looked so flawless for me until yestarday when I went home I saw her making blowjob to my dog(its german shepherd breed),so I was what the fuck is this,what are you doing with my dog?She was very upset at the begging but then started to apologize and told me that she loves me so much,but she is some kind of nimphomaniac and she cant stand long time without sex,it was so wonderful when we make sex,but I alone cannot satisfy her ,coz she needs full-time job sexual care.Thats why she decided instead of cheating me with other men,to make sex with my dog,coz I am citating this:"he likes me very much and he is so nice and cute and I have my needs and I dont wanna cheat on you with others coz I love you more than anytning and anyone and so on..blah blah blah.Honestly guys I dont know what to think right now. We are making sex without condoms and I doubt that my dog is using condoms either and this whole thing is disturbing me very much .I prefer I never caught her or even caught her with another man...really dunno. Oh and I almost forget ,she told me that she dont feel pleasure making blowjobs to my dog ,she did it only to turn him on,like this matters something to me.
On May 01 2008 06:13 {88}iNcontroL wrote: WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT KOREAN MAPS KID? JESUS TRY THE HARD LIFE OF A ZERG. WE DONT HAVE FUCKING MAP CROSSING ARCLITE CANNONS, EVERYTHING CANNOT BE REPAIRS, WE DONT HAVE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION LIKE SPIDER MINES AND WE CERTAINLY AS FUCK DONT HAVE NUCLEAR WEAPONS CAUSE ANY GAME THAT HAS THAT SUCKS LIKE COMMAND AND CONQUER 3. ALSO, WE DONT HAVE FLYING BUILDINGS OR MOTHERFUCKING DEFENSIVE STRUCTURES THAT SHOOT AIR AND GROUND AND CAN BE REPAIRED AND COST 100$ FUCKING MINERALS. OUR WORKERS DIE WHEN THE WIND BLOWS TOO HARD AND SURE AS FUCK DONT HAVE FUSION CUTTERS. WAIT? YOU HAVE GOLIATHS THAT SHOOT ACROSS THE MAP AT AIR UNITS AND CAN BE REPAIRED AND ARE CHEAP? JESUS WHO MADE THIS GAME.
On May 01 2008 06:15 {88}iNcontroL wrote: JESUS I WISH I HAD 5-6 of THE ALL TIME BEST PLAYERS TO MODEL MY GAME AFTER. WAIT? WERENT THEY ALL FUCKING TERRAN? WE HAVE NADA, BOXER, OOV, FLASH, MIDAS and XELLOS ALL KICKING ASS FOR YEARS AT A TIME WHILE WE GET FUCKING FAT ASS JULY WHO SUCKS NOW, YELLOW WHO ALWAYS FUCKING SUCKED BUT NOBODY KNEW FOR A BIT AND WE FINALLY GOT SAVIOR BUT THEN THEY DRESSED HIM LIKE HITLER SO HE SUCKED AND NOW WE HAVE JAEDONG BUT THAT KID CANT FIGURE OUT THE NEW KOREAN MAPS THAT DONT MATTER. JESUS FUCK IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE PLAYERS THAT SPAN DECADES AND DOMINATE THE ENTIRE TIME. GIMME SOME OF THAT PLEASE.
On May 01 2008 06:18 {88}iNcontroL wrote: HEY WHAT ABOUT BUILDINGS DO YOU LOSE A SCV EACH TIME YOU MAKE ONE? NO. WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN ACTUALLY TELL THEM TO RETURN TO MINING AFTER THEY ARE DONE BUILDING? I THOUGHT THAT AUTO MINING GARBAGE WAS FOR HACKERS OR BAD GAMES. TERRAN'S CAN DO IT? FUCK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SWEET DEAL. EACH TIME WE (zerg) HAVE TO BUILD WE TELL ONE OF OUR SACRED MINERS "HEY FUCK YOU TIME TO DIE" AND THEY DO. THEN WE GET A FUCKING BUILDING. WHICH, HALF THE TIME ISNT ENOUGH: WE HAVE TO PAY MOREE FUCKING MONEY TO GET IT TO DO SOME SHIT LIKE DICK THE GROUND OR SPRAY PISS IN THE AIR.
we love you grobo, we do we love you grobo, we do we love you grobo, WE DO GROBO WE LOVE YOU
*clap clap clap*
On a slightly more serious note, this right here is my favorite TL post ever, intrigue giving advice on how to pick up an asian girl on the bus, best post ever.
On July 26 2008 07:31 intrigue wrote: walk steadily towards her while maintaining eye contact. be confident! introduce yourself, and ask her where she's from. see if you have any common interests, and if you enjoy each other's company. while she's talking, grab her head with one hand and roughly kiss her while slowly sliding your hand up her skirt. she will try to stop you, and this is when you slam her head against the window. while she's stunned, take out your rope, and tie her hands behind her back. you slowly roll out your large swollen purple manhood and penetrate again and again, as sweat and blood covers the floor of the bus. the fog of sex should cover the windows. continue pushing the base of your cock into her stomach. as she regains consciousness she will makes unintelligible noises like 'aHhaHHHHH! onegai itai itaiii help healp please stop i'm being raped!!' but this is standard. after long enough she will moans with pleasure and convulse uncontrollably, foam dripping out of both of your mouths as you climax in a painful but rapturous unity. she turns around and kisses you tenderly on the lips as the camera zooms out and you grin manically, pulling a big live eel out of a bowl.
at least that's how courtship works in asian countries.
On September 16 2008 04:44 arb wrote: The best one is incontrols one about "Alpha Male"
If anyone has a link tot his.
part of it was like immediatly punch him in the fucking face to establish your dominance,warning some establishments dislike alpha males
On August 05 2008 03:07 {88}iNcontroL wrote: well.. chew with your mouth open. Girls like men who feel like they don't have to refine themselves when they are with a girl.. it's raw, sexy and commanding.
Don't pull her chair out or open the door. Women of this day and age are feminazis that want/can do all that we can and more. Impeding on her with said activities will only drive her away. Let her open doors for herself, seat herself and generally do what you would do if alone.
Don't grab the check. She is lucky to be with you. In fact I'd go use the restroom right before the check comes, take a long time and come back when you feel she has gotten the message, you won't pander to the traditional mumbo-jumbo.
Talk about yourself, and only yourself. She isn't on a date to discuss that which she already knows; her own life story. Fill her with exciting and new information like what you do for a living, why you are going to be an astronaut someday and how the government is doing it wrong and why you know how it should be done.
Flex repeatedly. Women tend to have smaller muscles and are amazed by masculine muscles. Make sure to draw her attention with lil gestures amped by wrist curl flexes and quad displaying leg straighteners.
You should be on a good start with this.
On August 05 2008 03:16 {88}iNcontroL wrote: Don't be afraid. Fear leads to hatred. Hatred leads to anger.. anger, leads to the Dark Side of the Conversation: Her. They do nothing. They shop, talk on the phone, clean and cook. Sometimes they shake it up and have an affair or vote but that is pretty rare. Why waste your time discussing that shit? She certainly doesn't want it. Women view their bodies as prisons. They are trapped and envious of their male superiors. Help her feel free for a day and grace her with yourself.
On August 05 2008 03:29 {88}iNcontroL wrote: Another tactic to take is to appeal to her primal desire to be with the alpha male. Once you get into the restaraunt establish your presence by shooting death glares at every male within sight. The larger ones will probably need a double take and maybe even a full body pump-fake. Once you get into the place seat yourself and immediatly grab the knife and fork. Just hold them with the base of your closed fist on the table. Sit across from her so you can adequately make hip-thrusting girations below the table and stare at her breasts. Women love this. It's a mark of a powerful man that knows what it wants and won't look away. Now it is time for the real display of power. When the waiter comes to take your order grab him by the collar and smash his head down onto the table. Once there pee on him. This will create a scene but the upside is that every male in the place will know exactly who is the alpha male. Your date should be ready for mating now. You have established your domineering presence and (should) have gone unchallenged. It is pivotal that you take your mate to a new location as armed police are probably on the way. They have issues with alpha males.
On August 05 2008 03:46 {88}iNcontroL wrote: Alright ima bust out my secret weapon.
A lot of the time when I take a girl out on a first date and we go get some food I utilize what I call the "Care for and Nurture" tactic. We do everything as discussed, only I steer away from establishing the alpha male role as it usually results in a location change which isn't condusive to what I have planned. Before the meal have a few drinks, start heavy like with a long island or if under age, a 40 ounce malt liquor that you smuggled in your pants. Move on to more casual drinks like white russians or jager bombs. With the meal have 5-6 beers and cap it off with another long island or 3. While you continue to keep the conversation about yourself you also need to keep her from drinking. THis is hard because it requires multi-tasking but if executed the results are amazing. By the end of the dinner you should be beyond drunk.. falling over and bubbling lil half pukes should be running down your chin at an almost constant stream, but not constant because you want to give the impression that a well-timed kiss is possible.. don't worry, our end goal is far beyond that but the planted concept is what we are going for here.
She will need to pay because you are not coherent enough to do it. She will need to drive and get you home. She will come inside (score, I know) and get you into bed (See where this is going?). She will probably begin to undress you and get you ready for some bed action. Make the move. This will need a strategy shift, cannot talk about yourself at this point which is fine given the circumstances, tell her she is pretty and stroke her hair. Try and sober up, I usually put a lighter to my tongue while she isn't looking but something else can be done (use your imagination).
Now that I have you half naked with a woman in your bed the rest is up to you. She has natural nurturing tendencies because she is a mere woman. Play the book correctly and this can be a date for the ages.
This is actually one of my favorite posts from that thread too.. makes me fucking giggle each time I read it (Thrill is a funny man):
On August 05 2008 03:22 Thrill wrote: This is just not possible, sorry. =\
She's gonna be want to be swept off her feet like all women always. A nice restaurant is the hardest environment possible to accomplish that. You have to either play it James Bond and be all smart about everything and constantly make ironic remarks and interpret her every word as a sexual invite. This is gonna be hard given the age difference.
So, that leaves you with the other option, being crazily over the top energetic, building up momentum the whole evening until a point where you are able to pull off something like "come, let's go enjoy a glass of champaign on the rooftop!". Remember - this energy will leave you at a constant struggle of balancing on a very thin thread where if you fall - you're just a goofy kid, her little brother.
Stars in the eyes and a constant smile, damn - i hope she's worth it.
I would have gone with 'plan Q' which is making the first date a doubledate with a couple you know are gonna be all over eachother, constantly flirting and staring into eachothers eyes to the point where it's awkward and she's just gonna want to get out of there - which is when a whisper in her ear proclaiming your need for champaign on the roof is much more likely to fly.
On June 13 2007 13:51 exalted wrote: there is a big spider under my dorm desk i don't know where the FUCK it is, holy mother fucking hsit help me please tips on how i can kill it or mother anything
This post was so manly.
aww i hope the spider didn't get hurt stupid exalted ^ ^
On August 05 2008 06:49 travis wrote: Feel free to let me know how wrong I am but please also say why!
For the record, anyone who does not believe in dualism will automatically disagree with me. That's ok, I don't understand why people would possibly disagree with dualism though.
Introduction:
0.) The following is the result of (attempted)objective analysis.
I doubt it, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
1.) The mind is something that exists.
Agreed.
2.) The physical universe is something that exists.
Agreed.
3.) The mind is something that does not have form. It simply is. There is no multiple. Further elaboration will come.
I don't get what you're suggesting, but since you say further elaboration will come, I will be silent until your whole issue is presented.
4.) The mind is known to man through our experiences.
Also agreed: Memories + Consciousness = sentience.
5.) This experience takes form through the physical universe.
The physical universe, in a scientific sense, is defined as everything that physically exists. So I guess we can not experience what's not there, so yes, our experience is formed through the physical universe.
6.) The mind and the physical universe are empty without each other. They have no value independently.
OK, I'm going to save us both a lot of time since the prime difference between our philosophies has just been made clear. I believe that what you call the 'mind', I call 'consciousness'- namely the fact that yes, I am actively participating in my life, and can call upon memory, which is how #4 claims the mind is known. However, I believe I can actively participate in my own existence BECAUSE something physical (let's say the brain) causes the sensation of consciousness: they are not separate. This means that yes; consciousness, in some way or form, requires matter to exist. It is not 100% spiritual: it is at least a slight bit physical, and because of this, I can deduce two things: 1. If there was no physical universe (defined as everything that physically exists) then my consciousness could not exist. I guess you could say in that sense, it has no 'value', but it would not simply exist without value, it would very literally not exist. 2. If there was no 'mind', there would STILL be a physical universe. You could say that the universe is now devoid of value, but value is a derivative from want, and the universe WANTS nothing, so the concept of value cannot be applied to it.
In essence; value derives from want: want derives from desire that is solely linked to consciousness. The mind can Want, thereby assigning value, but the universe can't. Therefore, the universe will never value the mind: it is the mind that gives value to itself. Since the mind cannot exist without the universe, you either have: A. Nothing exists. Value is undefined. B. Just the universe exists. Value is undefined. C. The Mind and the Universe exist: Value is determined as a derivative of the mind's want.
7.) This experience comes to us as a series of moments. Each moment arises, as the mind, as experience.
Agreed- basically restating #4: memories + consciousness = sentience, or in your terms, experience.
8.) What arises in each moment is based upon the circumstances of the physical universe. What we experience right now is dictated by who we physically are, the physical makeup of our brain and body.
You are hinting at a deterministic universe. I'll wait until you come out and say it outright to elaborate further.
9.) Our physical brain and body dictate our mental state, our emotions, our habits, and our perception of the world.
Agreed- there is no third party that controls how we feel.
10.) We are the mind. We are our experiences, nothing else.
Ok... so #4 +#7? I guess the key term here is 'nothing else', so I agree.
11.) Each mind-moment is seperate. There is no continuity of mind moments. We experience what seems to be continuity because each mind moment is made up of circumstance, earlier stated. We have short term and long term memory that creates the illusion of continuity. This is physical.
Each moment is separate, but there is no continuity? If they are not separated by a dimension such as time, what are they separated by? If they are separated by anything at all, couldn't some order of relevancy based on that separation be used to determine continuity? You already said each moment is made up of the circumstance of the previous moment: action x caused action y. Therefore, action y is intrinsically linked to action x, causing continuity (you can't go Y -> X, you must go X -> Y).
12.) Time is an illusion. Time is the result of this illusion of continuity. All mind moments happen at once, because outside of time, once is all there is.
So your argument is that all things in the universe occur in a simultaneous and infinitely-short Instant? I highly doubt this (but since I cannot remove myself from time and examine it as a whole, I can't refute you). Instead, I'm inclined to ask why you believe so when physical evidence of constant change (and the measurement of such, Time), is clearly present in this physical universe. Time is very much PHYSICALLY real, so I guess this 1-dimensional slice of 'moment' in which all moments physically possible occur simultaneously is a non-physical thing? If such a thing has 0 grounding in phsyical, how did you or anyone come to this conclusion? Please elaborate further.
13.) Free will is an illusion. The term means nothing. "Free will" exists as this illusion because that is what we experience. There is no other way things could be. Any "choice" you make is simply what is.
This suggests to me that you believe in a deterministic system: something initially happens, and dictates the eventual reaction of all things following. In other words, if a choice has to be made again, under the exact same circumstances and with no additional knowledge, the same choice is inevitably made, because there is no deviation to affect it. However, just because any 'choice' we make is inevitable, doesn't make it any less free will. We are very literally expressing our will to reach a certain choice, free from restrictions or limitations that would otherwise prevent us. Lack of free will is also very present, attempting to reach a certain choice and being limited by external factors, such as trying to fly but not having wings.
If you are instead arguing that free will is the ability to make arbitrary choices regardless of circumstance, then there is absolutely nothing to debate: by your theory, our choice was destined to us when the universe started, and this is impossible to label as false since we cannot determine if the world is deterministic or not (although quantum physics gets pretty damn close.) I'm starting to question if anything you say here will have any evidence to back it up (and thus have it grounded in something debatable) or if it will all be concepts like this that cannot be proved or disproved by anyone.
14.) Purpose is an illusion. This term also means nothing. You become what you will be.
Purpose is a term bursting with meaning. Many things have a purpose. The screwdriver was invented for the PURPOSE of fastening screws; the airplane was invented for the PURPOSE of aerial travel. Purpose is a combination of "what is the meaning of this object," and "why is this object here." Unfortunately, outside of objects we ourselves create, we cannot determine their purpose, so the word gets skewed. Saying 'you become what you will be' as your justification suggests to me that you mean "My purpose in life" is a meaningless phrase, but I also believe that is false. People take their phsyical attributes, their skill sets and their talents, their knowledge and their interests, and assign themselves a 'purpose' in the world.
Again, if we believe this world is deterministic, then they would have always assigned themselves that 'purpose', but it would not make that purpose any less valid. And again, its not possible to outright refute the possibility of a deterministic world, just like you cannot disprove the existence of a God, just like you cannot prove there is anything outside of your consciousness, just like you cannot disprove ANY CONCEPT outside those which are PHYSICAL.
Deeper stuff:
0.) The cause of experience is suffering. I am sure that many will disagree, it is not easy to accept.
Many people will disagree because it's poorly worded. You define peace as 'spiritual liberation' and any state that is not peace, 'suffering', or more accurately, 'not spiritual liberation', and then say that the cause of experience is "any state that is not spiritual liberation (I will henceforth say 'nirvana' instead of 'spiritual liberation')." I guess this means that anything you do until you reach this penultimate philosophical heaven causes 'experience'. So to put it in not-so-philosophical terms, living gives you experience. I think we all already know and accept that.
1.) All that we experience is suffering. Spiritual liberation is preferrable to chemical-induced bliss.
Nirvana > not Nirvana. Moving on.
2.) Attachment causes suffering. The brain tells the mind it wants something to stay the same, or to be like it was, but all things change with time. To let go of all attachments is one step of freeing the mind from suffering.
Or maybe detachment causes suffering. The brain tells the mind that self-preservation comes before all things, yet all things are communal. To let go of all detachment is one step of freeing the mind from suffering.
^ That was total bullshit; I don't have any evidence to back it up, any professional psychological analysis that says people are closer to 'nirvana' by following it, or absolutely any way to prove it is true or untrue without somebody achieving 'nirvana' and saying "yep, this helped." This is why so many people are saying you have a burden of proof: because my bullshit is no less valid than your genuine stance. If this thread is no more than saying "here is a list of my ideas that are no more valid then random bullshit" that would also be fine, but you go out of your way to make your opening point "0.) The following is the result of (attempted)objective analysis." which makes us all think your ideas are not random bullshit, but instead something that can be confirmed, supported or at the very least,be more likely than any other event, which they aren't. Additionally, I enjoy how you mention both that time is an illusion, that everything instead, simply 'occurs' and our brain just bothers to sort it out, and then you continue to say that things change with time. Did you include this simply because Time is a convenient, if not illusory, concept that we the reader might understand better? If so, I'll simply assume you mean "all things are in a constant state of change" so I don't have to worry about tripping over vague words representing powerful concepts. In fact, your whole post is a linguistic minefield, with almost every concept being ill-explained or taken at face-value to be thought of as something traditional (time, suffering, etc) when it is in fact very different and a very key point in your philosophy.
3.) Ignorance causes suffering. Lack of understanding keeps us from liberating the mind.
I'm not sure what you are trying to imply here. I can accept this argument if you mean "achieving Nirvana requires one to first become open to the concept of Nirvana", but I don't think that's what you're trying to say. Maybe you mean "The more you know about all sides of an issue, the closer you get to pure neutrality on said issue," which I can also agree with. I have no beef with this line, but if you'd clarify it a bit, it would be much appreciated. Moving on.
4.) Aversion causes suffering. The brain tells the mind that it wants to be seperate from something, or that something needs to change, but much is outside of our control. To let go of aversion is one step of freeing the mind from suffering.
This belief says that wanting control over change, or at least enough control to remove ourselves from change, causes suffering. These are fairly awkward positions, since all things are in a state of constant change (as mentioned in #2: Attachment). You could make the argument that wanting ANY control over ANYTHING causes suffering. Also, purposefully wanting LACK of control can cause suffering. So the path to Nirvana includes accepting the exact amount of control fate charges you with? But how do you clarify control? You already told me that the world has no true 'free will', that if I seize an opportunity to become ruler of the world, it was not my 'choice', and instead this is what always would have always naturally occurred. So the only thing my wants/desires can accomplish for me in this universe is to possibly achieve Nirvana by ignoring them? This concept seems to have a shaky foundation, so I'd appreciate it if you clarified.
5.) Delusion causes suffering. The brain classifies, it labels, it creates rules. It determines worth, it determines pleasure, it determines pain. None of this is real. To let go of all delusions is one step of freeing the mind from suffering.
OK, slow down. This is by FAR your most bizarre statement. Everything we make labels for, or rules for, or evaluate with, or determine, simply causes more suffering? How terribly deluded we are, believing that these things that we can touch and feel and can physically experience (note: I did say physically experience- again this is our key difference rearing its head again- i believe the mind must be linked to the physical in some way) can be articulated as 'rough' or 'rubbery' or 'sharp.' How terrible that we can evaluate their worth to affect our decisions in our interactions. How wonderful it must be to be free from these delusions, so that every noun is simply unlabeled (perhaps we can meet halfway and just call it Marklar?), so that every sensation is promptly dismissed, that every task should have no rules and no rankings and especially no worth, because these are all unreal and simply cause suffering.
It sounds like to me that you are labeling BASIC COGNITIVE ABILITY as 'suffering'. Doesn't it sound like freeing our minds from basic cognitive ability will make us more ignorant? I simply must be misunderstanding your stance on this, but every time I read it, it just seems more apparent that this concept is simply far too vague to be argued at best, and simply backwards at worst. Please, please, please tell me what you mean in more depth, because this one sounds like you ran out of steam on your other ideas and simply picked a concept at random and told me it causes suffering. Are you trying to say that cognitive ability is for the brain only, and not for the consciousness? The only way I can think to bring clarity to your argument is by saying that the mind has no innate value, and it's value is merely bestowed upon it by the brain. And even then I can't make the leap and say this point is justified. You are basically saying, in one sweeping motion, VALUE = SUFFERING. Please reconsider your phrasings ('it labels.. it determines worth') or explain to me how value != suffering if that is true, or come out and say No Value = No Suffering.
I will pontificate further, saying that perhaps you are hinting at a TRUE value independent of mind, and to free the mind from delusion is to adjust our innate values to be in line with the TRUE values... but this falls flat in that the universe does not assign value, only the mind does. I'm sorry, your philosophy has now become a twisted knot in my mind, please untangle it.
---
In conclusion, this is pretty lose-lose for the brain, don't you think? If I'm understanding this right, you have are stating there are AT LEAST 4 things that induce suffering (aside from the 'all we experience is suffering' line, which would make all four of these points pretty moot.) and they are as follows:
Attachment Ignorance Aversion Delusion
If we want something that is changing to instead stay the same, we suffer. If we accept that it's changing, and instead wish for an amount of control over that change, or to remove ourselves from being included in that change, we suffer. If we ignore it, we suffer. If we classify the change (even by doing as little as simply LABELING it), we suffer.
Fuck my brain for all this suffering. I guess the ultimate state of nirvana that you wish to achieve will accept change (no attachment), fully understand the change implemented (no ignorance), will do nothing to adapt to the change (no aversion) and will not attempt to label, classify or evaluate the change (no delusion).
So let me shorten your argument for you.
Part 1. Anything the brain tells you is wrong.
This is the feeling I get from your philosophy. That everything the brain feeds you, from sensation to recognition to adaptability all help cause suffering. Apparently the mind is some perfect entity that is hampered by this suffering-causing brain. Here, once again, our key difference arises. I don't believe the mind is 100% free from the physical- therefore, even if all this was absolute truth, it would be impossible to achieve nirvana since some % of you would be linked to this physical world of suffering. Can you give me an example of something that the brain does that does NOT cause suffering? Or something that the mind does that DOES cause suffering? It seems like you've stopped just short of declaring this the apex of your argument.
Part 2. Being nothing, accepting nothing, acknowledging nothing, and wanting nothing is the only way we don't suffer. This is called Spiritual Liberation (I call it Nirvana).
A fairly well-known concept I'd say, and one that goes by a bunch of different names. I prefer to think of it as complete objective neutrality, and also say that it is impossible. Not much to say here, because most of your points were fairly fluff and didn't offer any more than that: Nirvana is good.
I sat here for about 30 minutes trying to expand your ideas past those 2 points, and couldn't. There simply isn't any substance here. This is certainly not "(attempted)objective analysis". What strikes me as odd is that you posted here asking for argument (or at least said 'feel free to let me know how wrong I am but please also say why', which I will shorten to 'debate me!') when there is nothing to debate. Debate involves comparison of ideas, challenging existing ideas, and creating a BURDEN OF PROOF that must rival or exceed the proof established by the currently-accepted idea so that one can become more believable then the other. From what I've seen in this thread, you instead challenge US to break down your ideas that are so rooted in untestable theory that any bullshit theory from any source will adequately be considered 'enough proof'. It is easy to 'debate' you because it is easy to present as much or more proof to further ones argument than the amount of proof you've presented: 0. I suggest if you don't want post after post saying "plz give proof", remove the opening line of your post and ask for this to be moved to blogs, since that's exactly what this is. The general forum isn't the place for closed-circuit streams of consciousness.
If this is a thread to instead exchange differences in philosophy, then my sincere apologies for sounding rather harsh. My philosophy is in no way spiritual. Simply put, to me, assuming aspects of spirituality is erroneous, since we only have the rules of our physical universe to live by, and extrapolation is fruitless.
The universe is everything that exists, and is limited by physical laws that all things within it must adhere to. Everything in the universe is in a constant state of change and the measurement of change is known as Time. Humans have come to be inside the universe, bound to its physical laws, for the period of Time that our bodies can maintain active consciousness before the change in our cells reach a point where they can maintain it no longer. Throughout this period of consciousness, the brain maintains homeostasis, and actively seeks the instinctual wills of self-preservation and race advancement that has, through pure random chance, allowed it to grow and survive on this planet compared with other evolutionary strains of life. The universe does not care for or value humans. Humans care for and value the universe, because it is beneficial to them. Luckily, the universe and its physical laws can be predicted, and from it we derive logic. It is impossible to 100% prove the laws of the physical universe from within it, but we have come to such a point of observation as to assume them as true. Therefore, we can present argument, we can debate, and we can advance our own understanding of ourselves and the universe we are lucky enough to reside in using irrefutable reasoning. We can theorize about our roles in the universe, our purpose, our meaning of life. But additionally, we can expound those theories with logic and reason, overriding emotion and pseudo-science, to achieve greater truth then simply making guesswork and following what sounds satisfactory. The language of life is not spiritual; it is simple and logical, and because of that, numbingly complex. The only way I feel I can live my life is not by devoting it to frivolous spiritual pursuits, but instead staying true to my biological nature- self preservation, race advancement, and the adherence to logic and reason above all things. These concepts are what award me inner peace, so I label them as philosophy, although there is very little 'philosophical' about them.
Also, big thanks to Travis. This is the first time in a while that I've sat at my pc for 3.5 hours just lost in thought. It's really a relaxing experience- more threads like this would be so therapeutic...
Just a quick word from Doug (HamerD) who is banned at the moment, he is sorry for being a douche and accepts the backlash he gets for his douchedom. He's quite annoyed that incontrol, who he previously liked, was being so harsh but understands it. He would still like to be a part of the community if theres anyone left who doesn't hate him. He is overzealous. He would be posting here but is banned.
I cannot believe you made those post whilst thinking normally, HamerD . You were obviously incredibly sarcastic/drunk/high?! How anyone can post such hypocritical, arrogant drivel seriously is beyond me......
god damn i was looking through my old posts and just found this one:
On June 03 2007 09:25 GrandInquisitor wrote: From the hit movie 8 Rax, a movie on mnm:
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted - One moment Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his uniform already, teammate's kimchi He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To SK, but he keeps on forgettin His TvZ BO's, the whole crowd goes so loud He builds his rax, but the rines won't come out He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah! Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity Oh, there goes Midas, he choked He's so mad, but he won't give up that Easy, no He won't have it, he knows his whole back's to these ropes It don't matter, he's dope He knows that, but he's broke He's so stagnant that he knows When he goes back to the SKT dorm, that's when it's Back to the lab again yo This whole Savior shit He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him
You better lose yourself in the micro, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping This OSL is mine for the taking Make me champ, as we move toward a, new world order A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortem It only grows harder, only grows hotter He blows us all over these booth babes is all on him Coast to coast shows, he's known as the next Boxer Lonely roads, God only knows He's grown farther from his clan, he's no leader He goes on Bnet and barely knows his 2v2 partner But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water His babes don't want him no mo, he's cold product They moved on to the next chobo who macros He nose dove and couldn't even beat Nada So the soap opera is told and unfolds I suppose it's old partna', but the game goes on Da da dum da dum da da
You better lose yourself in the micro, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
No more games, I'ma change what you call rage Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged I was offracin in the beginnin, the mood all changed I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage But I kept massgaming and practicin on Vampire Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper All the pain inside amplified by the fact That I can't get by with my 9 to 5 And I can't provide the right type of life for my team Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy computers And it's no documentary, there's no Storyteller, this is my life And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder Tryin to qual and get through ODT, plus Teeter totter caught up between being SKT and [gm] Old clan drama's screamin on and Too much for me to wanna Stay in one spot, another day of monotony Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I've got to formulate a plot 'fore I end up in army or shot Gosu is my only mothafuckin option, chobo's not Coach, I love you, but this trailer's got to go I cannot grow old in SKT's lot So here I go is my shot. Mouse fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got
You better lose yourself in the micro, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
You can do anything you set your mind to, man
feat. a special guest appearance by Jay (P):
If you've got Zerg problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but PvZ ain't one
that bottom pic's from Smurg's South Side is Best, one of the all-time greatest topics on this forums
i like this post because this 7 post guy made the same thread 3 times even though they were being closed (because a similar post was made 2 days ago). the only other post i could find was similarly lacking.
On January 18 2005 03:39 M2 wrote: I have a serious girlfriend for 3 years and our relationship looked so flawless for me until yestarday when I went home I saw her making blowjob to my dog(its german shepherd breed),so I was what the fuck is this,what are you doing with my dog?She was very upset at the begging but then started to apologize and told me that she loves me so much,but she is some kind of nimphomaniac and she cant stand long time without sex,it was so wonderful when we make sex,but I alone cannot satisfy her ,coz she needs full-time job sexual care.Thats why she decided instead of cheating me with other men,to make sex with my dog,coz I am citating this:"he likes me very much and he is so nice and cute and I have my needs and I dont wanna cheat on you with others coz I love you more than anytning and anyone and so on..blah blah blah.Honestly guys I dont know what to think right now. We are making sex without condoms and I doubt that my dog is using condoms either and this whole thing is disturbing me very much .I prefer I never caught her or even caught her with another man...really dunno. Oh and I almost forget ,she told me that she dont feel pleasure making blowjobs to my dog ,she did it only to turn him on,like this matters something to me.
First thing I did when I clicked this thread: "search page: M2" Fuck yeah that is without doubt still the best post ever, I will never forget that lmao.
That HamerD one comes dangerously close though, fuck me I still laugh so hard at that. Also the rpf facebook thread, which doesn't really count as a post I guess.
On August 13 2007 11:44 Hippopotamus wrote: once again i dont really know WHY im responding to you, i think its b/c its people like YOU who really piss me off. People who spew information at people without having a CLUE what they are talking about...
The main reason and arguement for not having niggers in the military is NOT that men are afraid of being robbed. Its actually much deeper and subtle than that. Its a moral thing, its a trust thing, its a unit cohesiveness thing. Military is VERY team oriented, and when you have an obvious nigger in the tent, or on the team, w/e. It makes the other guys feel uncomfortable, they think, hm i wonder if hes thinking of fried chicken, or i wonder if he is smart enough to throw the grenade instead of the pin. Then you get to go out to war, and fight to save his life? depend on him to save yours? niggers have always been ostracized by the majority of men (no counting the africans, they count for 3/5ths). We dont want them in our military, and since WE call the shots, not congress, since WE can say, tough luck, too bad so sad, then thats what we are gonna do. I have no problem with niggers, if they stay in the colored-only areas, but dont be bringing them into MY house, MY tent. Can you imagine walking into your tent to see 2 soldiers of different skin color? How fucked up you'd be in the head? how much it would affect the unit? I dont see how its possible that people can be so dumb, and yet still be able to formulate an opinion. I think you put like 4590 in a hat, and just pull one out.
On August 12 2007 12:32 CaucasianAsian wrote: or if you act like a homosexual. No gays allowed in the army for obvious reasons.
For obvious reasons? We let women into the army and sexual assault IS a serious problem. A third of the women serving in our military *report* being assaulted, and the real percentage is probably far higher seeing as most of them are far too scared to report it as it often comes from superior officers. I read an awful court case recently about an air force woman who was raped by 3 of her superior officers. When she reported it, SHE got court marshaled, charged with "indecent acts". The 3 men who raped her were given sexual assault immunity if they agreed to testify against her. Essentially, immunity against the thing they are being charged with, (aka cannot be convicted), in return for destroying her career and reputation.
If we're so worried about gays "sexually assaulting" the men in our military, why on Earth do we let women serve? In my honest opinion, the higher ups don't give a flying fuck about sexual assault, they just hate gays.
And really, if we're so desperate for volunteers, why refuse people who want to serve?
once again i dont really know WHY im responding to you, i think its b/c its people like YOU who really piss me off. People who spew information at people without having a CLUE what they are talking about...
The main reason and arguement for not having gays in the military is NOT that men are afraid of being sexually assaulted. Its actually much deeper and subtle than that. Its a moral thing, its a trust thing, its a unit cohesiveness thing. Military is VERY team oriented, and when you have an obvious 'fag' in the tent, or on the team, w/e. It makes the other guys feel uncomfortable, they think, hm i wonder if hes staring at me in the shower, or i wonder if he dreams of me sexually. Then you get to go out to war, and fight to save his life? depend on him to save yours? Gays have always been ostracized by the majority of men (no counting the greeks, they dont count). We dont want them in our military, and since WE call the shots, not congress, since WE can say, tough luck, too bad so sad, then thats what we are gonna do. I have no problem with fags, if they do what they do in the privacy of their own home, but dont be bringing it into MY house, MY tent. Can you imagine walking into your tent to see 2 soldiers fucking? How fucked up you'd be in the head? how much it would affect the unit? I dont see how its possible that people can be so dumb, and yet still be able to formulate an opinion. I think you put like 4590 in a hat, and just pull one out.
It's the fact that "blacks" were considered inferior YEARS ago.
They were used as slaves, until thank fucking god Abraham Lincoln decided to Step up.
People hated the Emancipation Proclamation, because they were losing their best "objects"
When blacks finally became free, what happened? A person HURRIED to invent the HandGun for fast-paced control.
Eventually the blacks were exiled and hated on, the term "mother-fuckers" comes from Blacks, as slaves were forced to "fuck" their mothers to breed.
IMO it's quite fucking stupid, the origin of people were Black not white.
Lots of respect go out to:
Martin Luther King Jr.(The King) Malcolm fucking X (AMAZING ANTI-WHITE PERSON) Rosa Parks (GG This Woman Was Gosu) +The Black People leading the Revolution of their Arise.
But basically, White People hated them, because they saw them as "machines" and "slave" and nothing more, because they were never proved as anything more. Raise a Kid today, say "hate that black kid" and he will. Raise a Kid and say nothing, his best friend will be black.
FACTS ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE: They build muscle faster Can't SunBurn easy (field working) Stronger Stamina (natural) More "brute".
^--- The White's Took Advantage.
One of my best friends is black :D
by none other than the infamous LaStShAdOwWwW~~*~~
Alright here are some absolutely priceless ones I can remember:
On March 12 2006 17:28 rpf289 wrote: I'm looking at getting a small pocket knife, or just a folder of some sort. Why do I want one? Well, first, I like knives, lighters, guns, weapons, etc., and so far I only have a couple boxcutters from work, a Zippo that I bought, and I bought a nice 6-inch fixed knife yesterday. I'm buying a folder for two reasons: 1.) Collecting, and 2.) self-defense. I almost got mugged one night walking to my car on campus, and well, if I'm gonna get mugged, the fucker is gonna bleed. Yeah, I have that mentality of where I refuse to go down without taking someone else down with me.
Anyone got any ideas? I know very little about knives.
On August 28 2008 05:12 SCC-Faust wrote: I am now in my senior year and I need a date to the prom.
My parents made it very clear that they are going to make me go to the prom no matter what, because they did not and they highly regret it. So, this is serious business. I'm not getting off the hook by complaining like a stupid bitch.
But here is my problem! No one wants to go with me that I find attractable. To be honest, the only people that actually consider going with me are the mentally handicapped retards or the black girl who gets mad because I won't hug her. And I'm not beautiful, I have some acne, and I'm just dopey. Not assertive, not sociable. Not the kind of guy girls would be thrilled to take to the dance.
I talked with my school and it turns out that you can actually take outside people to the prom! Now if you live in Pennsylvania or want to take a ride to Pennsylvania around Reading I would love for someone to take me.
My school administration applies some rules though: Cannot be over 21. Will be given a breathalyzer test upon entry of Prom.
So if you want to take me, please don't get drunk. And don't be over 21. I'm really depending on a sweet guy to just make this night easy for me. Don't worry, I don't slow dance, and we don't have to have sex afterwords. The only problem we may encounter is being called homos and the like.
PM me for more information but Prom is a while away, but I want to secure a date early. I'll take multiple applications and keep you guys updated to when the Prom will be (probably sometime next Year) and give you the location and such.
Sure this can be caused by lack of maturity and stupidness on my part, but still it was just so much power, I couldn't stop myself from having unreal macro and sick timing senses, It was too much for me to just throw away.
A little piece from the hilarious lastshadow 'apology'. Yes this is him actually talking about his brood war skills.
This was one of the first things I remember reading on TL.net that really made me laugh out loud at my desk at work. Maybe it's because I was three years younger, or maybe it really was that funny, but in any case, I cracked up good.
On November 08 2005 11:24 racebannon wrote: Hello internet,
Today I come to you to regale you with a true story of both wonder and horror combined.
Me and my loving girlfriend have been together for some time now, over a year if my calculations are correct, though they rarely are. While this relationship has been going on for quite a while, it was only until last night that we reached one of the most important levels in a relatiobship, one that signifies the love and understanding two people have for eachothers needs.
Some of you may know what I am speaking of, but those that i must spell it out for, she let me put it in her butt.
Now, I am something of an ass-man, I must confess. It ranks much higher on my checklist of superficiality, higher than breasts by far, and really, can a great ass even be compared to a great personality? You can't put it in a personality. Come on.
This is a monumentous leap for us both. I have never impaled a woman through her rectum and she has never had manrod in her backdoor. I have heard every horror story there is of homebrew anal sex, and I know it is best left to the pros, I knew this going in. But believe you me, I have done as much research as the next man. After "asian," "anal" is my next stop on empornium.
Now, my girlfriend is of asian descent, and like many she is rather small of figure. I am of European heritage, my parents being British, and I will even go out on a limb here and say it, I have an average sized penis. I could sit here and pretend I have a 47 inch monster twixt my legs like I'm sure all of you reading do, but I am pleased with my manhood, he has never let me down. And it still requires much foreplay and/or lubrication to get my meat stick into her beef flaps.
Now, naturally, she has a small ass. It's no Brazilian bubble and I knew it would be a tight fit, so tight that even the micrometer added to the circumference by a condom could render it impossible to get in. Plus, we have been together so long and we've been tested, so I just didn't have any condoms. I should cheat more, I guess.
Well, we got that little yellow ass greased sufficiently, and it was time to don the eyepatch and plunder away with my pegleg leading the charge.
Now, a little aside - being of a European descent, or maybe because of the decline in the practice of circumcision in North America (i was born here in canada) I am uncut, and I love it. Sure, there is maintenance, but the benefits outweigh that by far, and you guys who are cut have my deepest sympathy.
Back to the sleazy retelling of my story.
The initial probing was a success, no signs of trouble, and so we plunged deeper. I could tell my little man was feeling claustraphobic in such a small area. It was like trying to shove him down a straw. Only pleasurable in ways a straw could never be (I imagine).
We took our time, she claimed to be enjoying it, and lying or not I didn't care. I eventually ramped up the speed, if my cock was a lawnmower, I started at turtle but slowly and surely made my way to rabbit speed.
It was there that something happened. I was maxing my anal apm, when something horrible happened.
My frenulum snapped, like a twig in the wind. Like a taut bowstring, he just went down. The friction was too much I suppose.
Now for those uninformed, the frenulum is what attaches the foreskin to the head of the penis on the underside. It's a really rare occurance for it to break but it happens, he's fine in normal sex, but he was not made for the butt, it seems.
The result was pain, pain and blood. More blood than I imagined possible. I didn't stop, naturally. And honestly, the blood just made the going that much smoother. I climaxed, pushing past the pain like coach always told me to in high school gym class.
Then she saw the mess I was making. She's not particularly good at math, but she can add blood + anus and know she doesn't like what it adds up to. She became hysterical, certain that I had somehow broke her ass, or speared through her intestine like my cock was a harpoon. She thought I had given her a penile colostomy.
She started screaming, like women are wont to do when they start bleeding from a foreign orifice.
Now, I'm still inside her, call it a second wind. I guess it was the screaming, I don't know. But thats when her bowels went. I can't tell you if it was on purpose or some sort of defense mechanism, but blood and shit mingled with only my cock trying to plug back the tumultuous flood.
My cock is no levy, especially for blood and fecal matter, so I got out of there, and the sheets were forever ruined.
So was my shot at ever having anal sex again. Atleast with her.
And so, the moral of the story is, well, I don't really know. But know this: blood and shit are like the evil twin brothers of peanut butter and jelly. And they make a real mess.
Fun fact: in order to find this post/thread, I just went to the search bar and typed the word "frenulum"!
On September 16 2008 09:34 Enrique wrote: This was one of the first things I remember reading on TL.net that really made me laugh out loud at my desk at work. Maybe it's because I was three years younger, or maybe it really was that funny, but in any case, I cracked up good.
On November 08 2005 11:24 racebannon wrote: Hello internet,
Today I come to you to regale you with a true story of both wonder and horror combined.
Me and my loving girlfriend have been together for some time now, over a year if my calculations are correct, though they rarely are. While this relationship has been going on for quite a while, it was only until last night that we reached one of the most important levels in a relatiobship, one that signifies the love and understanding two people have for eachothers needs.
Some of you may know what I am speaking of, but those that i must spell it out for, she let me put it in her butt.
Now, I am something of an ass-man, I must confess. It ranks much higher on my checklist of superficiality, higher than breasts by far, and really, can a great ass even be compared to a great personality? You can't put it in a personality. Come on.
This is a monumentous leap for us both. I have never impaled a woman through her rectum and she has never had manrod in her backdoor. I have heard every horror story there is of homebrew anal sex, and I know it is best left to the pros, I knew this going in. But believe you me, I have done as much research as the next man. After "asian," "anal" is my next stop on empornium.
Now, my girlfriend is of asian descent, and like many she is rather small of figure. I am of European heritage, my parents being British, and I will even go out on a limb here and say it, I have an average sized penis. I could sit here and pretend I have a 47 inch monster twixt my legs like I'm sure all of you reading do, but I am pleased with my manhood, he has never let me down. And it still requires much foreplay and/or lubrication to get my meat stick into her beef flaps.
Now, naturally, she has a small ass. It's no Brazilian bubble and I knew it would be a tight fit, so tight that even the micrometer added to the circumference by a condom could render it impossible to get in. Plus, we have been together so long and we've been tested, so I just didn't have any condoms. I should cheat more, I guess.
Well, we got that little yellow ass greased sufficiently, and it was time to don the eyepatch and plunder away with my pegleg leading the charge.
Now, a little aside - being of a European descent, or maybe because of the decline in the practice of circumcision in North America (i was born here in canada) I am uncut, and I love it. Sure, there is maintenance, but the benefits outweigh that by far, and you guys who are cut have my deepest sympathy.
Back to the sleazy retelling of my story.
The initial probing was a success, no signs of trouble, and so we plunged deeper. I could tell my little man was feeling claustraphobic in such a small area. It was like trying to shove him down a straw. Only pleasurable in ways a straw could never be (I imagine).
We took our time, she claimed to be enjoying it, and lying or not I didn't care. I eventually ramped up the speed, if my cock was a lawnmower, I started at turtle but slowly and surely made my way to rabbit speed.
It was there that something happened. I was maxing my anal apm, when something horrible happened.
My frenulum snapped, like a twig in the wind. Like a taut bowstring, he just went down. The friction was too much I suppose.
Now for those uninformed, the frenulum is what attaches the foreskin to the head of the penis on the underside. It's a really rare occurance for it to break but it happens, he's fine in normal sex, but he was not made for the butt, it seems.
The result was pain, pain and blood. More blood than I imagined possible. I didn't stop, naturally. And honestly, the blood just made the going that much smoother. I climaxed, pushing past the pain like coach always told me to in high school gym class.
Then she saw the mess I was making. She's not particularly good at math, but she can add blood + anus and know she doesn't like what it adds up to. She became hysterical, certain that I had somehow broke her ass, or speared through her intestine like my cock was a harpoon. She thought I had given her a penile colostomy.
She started screaming, like women are wont to do when they start bleeding from a foreign orifice.
Now, I'm still inside her, call it a second wind. I guess it was the screaming, I don't know. But thats when her bowels went. I can't tell you if it was on purpose or some sort of defense mechanism, but blood and shit mingled with only my cock trying to plug back the tumultuous flood.
My cock is no levy, especially for blood and fecal matter, so I got out of there, and the sheets were forever ruined.
So was my shot at ever having anal sex again. Atleast with her.
And so, the moral of the story is, well, I don't really know. But know this: blood and shit are like the evil twin brothers of peanut butter and jelly. And they make a real mess.
Fun fact: in order to find this post/thread, I just went to the search bar and typed the word "frenulum"!
i thought i should give a try this story of mine, so you express your opinions and tell me what you would have done.?
"i love my iPod, and what i love more is how i got it. first of all my parents are divorced, i live with my mom. I was going to a 2 day trip to just buy clothes, gifts and stuff out of the city... it was my mom, me and some friend of my mom that offered to take us there.
Anyway, i had no fuckn clue that my mom and this guy were knowing each other to be more than friends... and this guy was buying me stuff like crazy, clothes, shoes, electronics, he bouth me an iPod ( hes got alot of money btw) i didnt understand till he told me that he and my mom were "meeting".
I was SO FUCKING angry and pissed with my mom, because she didnt fuckin told me they were meeting each other, and they didnt tell me anything until like the end of the trip, and btw, the son of this guy is a bullie at school i almost fight to death with him once.. so now i was more than pissed...
i talked and argued with my mom about what happened and i practially told her that it was the worst error of all her life, because i was moving out of the house, i cant accept the fact that my mother hid me something like that and sent me in a trip with them, and let him buy me stuff, like he was buying my soul.
At the end, i thought about it and found theres 2 ways to manage this, the smart one and the proud man and said to myself ill play the smart one "NICE , HE BOUGHT ME ALOT OF THINGS, BUT HE DIDNT BOUGHT ME" HAHA, i kept all the things he bought me, and moved to live with my father, thats where i am now.
if you are interested in this story, heres an extra: when i moved to my fathers house, i wanted MY PC to take it and be there. (my mother only lives now with my sister and they have 2 extra pcs) BUT MY MOM wanted to be so selfish and didnt let me take it ... omg that was the explosion, i told her to leave me fcking alone i dont want to know anything more of her.
thx for reading.
Manablue's reply is 5/5
On August 30 2005 12:48 ManaBlue wrote: Kid, your mom bore you, brought you up, fed you your entire life, gave you a middle class upbringing, and you are ready to swear her off because she's moving on after your dad? She has the right to do that.
Further, if you were too oblivious to know that a random guy who went on a trip with your family and bought you gifts for no apparent reason was somehow interested in your mom, then you are just an idiot. Your story doesn't make sense and I can't understand how you were "screwed".
Basically this is the truth, if you want to hear it... You're a spoiled little brat that likes to bounce off your parents and use their split as a means to play favourites and generally be an asshole. If you were my kid I'd throw your computer out the window, shove your IPOD up your ass and kick you out of the house as soon as you turned 18...
But you know why I'd do that? I'm not your family. But your mother is, so she won't. You only get one mom and one dad. If you are willing to throw one of the few (and possibly only) unconditional relationships you will ever have in your life out the window because the person wants to move on with their life, you are a fool and you will regret it living the rest of your life without your mother.
Grow up kid, stop bitching about nothing you spoiled IPOD owning, shit talking, sympathy starving son of a bitch. Fuck you.
On September 16 2008 07:55 Mischy wrote: Just a quick word from Doug (HamerD) who is banned at the moment, he is sorry for being a douche and accepts the backlash he gets for his douchedom. He's quite annoyed that incontrol, who he previously liked, was being so harsh but understands it. He would still like to be a part of the community if theres anyone left who doesn't hate him. He is overzealous. He would be posting here but is banned.
On September 16 2008 07:55 Mischy wrote: Just a quick word from Doug (HamerD) who is banned at the moment, he is sorry for being a douche and accepts the backlash he gets for his douchedom. He's quite annoyed that incontrol, who he previously liked, was being so harsh but understands it. He would still like to be a part of the community if theres anyone left who doesn't hate him. He is overzealous. He would be posting here but is banned.
On September 16 2008 07:55 Mischy wrote: Just a quick word from Doug (HamerD) who is banned at the moment, he is sorry for being a douche and accepts the backlash he gets for his douchedom. He's quite annoyed that incontrol, who he previously liked, was being so harsh but understands it. He would still like to be a part of the community if theres anyone left who doesn't hate him. He is overzealous. He would be posting here but is banned.
i thought i should give a try this story of mine, so you express your opinions and tell me what you would have done.?
"i love my iPod, and what i love more is how i got it. first of all my parents are divorced, i live with my mom. I was going to a 2 day trip to just buy clothes, gifts and stuff out of the city... it was my mom, me and some friend of my mom that offered to take us there.
Anyway, i had no fuckn clue that my mom and this guy were knowing each other to be more than friends... and this guy was buying me stuff like crazy, clothes, shoes, electronics, he bouth me an iPod ( hes got alot of money btw) i didnt understand till he told me that he and my mom were "meeting".
I was SO FUCKING angry and pissed with my mom, because she didnt fuckin told me they were meeting each other, and they didnt tell me anything until like the end of the trip, and btw, the son of this guy is a bullie at school i almost fight to death with him once.. so now i was more than pissed...
i talked and argued with my mom about what happened and i practially told her that it was the worst error of all her life, because i was moving out of the house, i cant accept the fact that my mother hid me something like that and sent me in a trip with them, and let him buy me stuff, like he was buying my soul.
At the end, i thought about it and found theres 2 ways to manage this, the smart one and the proud man and said to myself ill play the smart one "NICE , HE BOUGHT ME ALOT OF THINGS, BUT HE DIDNT BOUGHT ME" HAHA, i kept all the things he bought me, and moved to live with my father, thats where i am now.
if you are interested in this story, heres an extra: when i moved to my fathers house, i wanted MY PC to take it and be there. (my mother only lives now with my sister and they have 2 extra pcs) BUT MY MOM wanted to be so selfish and didnt let me take it ... omg that was the explosion, i told her to leave me fcking alone i dont want to know anything more of her.
On August 30 2005 12:48 ManaBlue wrote: Kid, your mom bore you, brought you up, fed you your entire life, gave you a middle class upbringing, and you are ready to swear her off because she's moving on after your dad? She has the right to do that.
Further, if you were too oblivious to know that a random guy who went on a trip with your family and bought you gifts for no apparent reason was somehow interested in your mom, then you are just an idiot. Your story doesn't make sense and I can't understand how you were "screwed".
Basically this is the truth, if you want to hear it... You're a spoiled little brat that likes to bounce off your parents and use their split as a means to play favourites and generally be an asshole. If you were my kid I'd throw your computer out the window, shove your IPOD up your ass and kick you out of the house as soon as you turned 18...
But you know why I'd do that? I'm not your family. But your mother is, so she won't. You only get one mom and one dad. If you are willing to throw one of the few (and possibly only) unconditional relationships you will ever have in your life out the window because the person wants to move on with their life, you are a fool and you will regret it living the rest of your life without your mother.
Grow up kid, stop bitching about nothing you spoiled IPOD owning, shit talking, sympathy starving son of a bitch. Fuck you.
also you can't forget the reply to manablue's post FROM OP + Show Spoiler +
Ok man look, im not pissed because my mom didnt tell me , im pissed because she fucking brought me to a unconfortable fucking trip with him and puted him on my face, she should have told me before, then i decide to go or not, hmm damn im tired of making this so ill tell yo the truth
Hahahahahahahaha i went to school and im in recess, thats why i havent reply to this, well, ill tell you mannablue and all you guys, ill change my nickname to imakepeoplemakemehaveagoodlaugh, haha beleive it or not i created all this scenario since the begining omfg i am laughing so hard, you all bought my words. 99xROFLCOPTERS.
anyways, you can still have fun posting stuff , i still will enjoy even though you know it was a lie.
ok enough fun im going to class now, im supossed to bring some magazines today for a class and i didnt, so ill run like shit to a nearby store and buy them, wish me luck ,
note: i ended my post with a comma, dont get angry veg, i like you,
NewbSaibot : Your last post was the fakest thing I saw in a while. Exactly, saw right through his desperate attempt to make us look like the dumbasses. Face it, mana's statments rang a little too close to home and now you cant stand yourself. Dont try and bring us down to your level.
i thought i should give a try this story of mine, so you express your opinions and tell me what you would have done.?
"i love my iPod, and what i love more is how i got it. first of all my parents are divorced, i live with my mom. I was going to a 2 day trip to just buy clothes, gifts and stuff out of the city... it was my mom, me and some friend of my mom that offered to take us there.
Anyway, i had no fuckn clue that my mom and this guy were knowing each other to be more than friends... and this guy was buying me stuff like crazy, clothes, shoes, electronics, he bouth me an iPod ( hes got alot of money btw) i didnt understand till he told me that he and my mom were "meeting".
I was SO FUCKING angry and pissed with my mom, because she didnt fuckin told me they were meeting each other, and they didnt tell me anything until like the end of the trip, and btw, the son of this guy is a bullie at school i almost fight to death with him once.. so now i was more than pissed...
i talked and argued with my mom about what happened and i practially told her that it was the worst error of all her life, because i was moving out of the house, i cant accept the fact that my mother hid me something like that and sent me in a trip with them, and let him buy me stuff, like he was buying my soul.
At the end, i thought about it and found theres 2 ways to manage this, the smart one and the proud man and said to myself ill play the smart one "NICE , HE BOUGHT ME ALOT OF THINGS, BUT HE DIDNT BOUGHT ME" HAHA, i kept all the things he bought me, and moved to live with my father, thats where i am now.
if you are interested in this story, heres an extra: when i moved to my fathers house, i wanted MY PC to take it and be there. (my mother only lives now with my sister and they have 2 extra pcs) BUT MY MOM wanted to be so selfish and didnt let me take it ... omg that was the explosion, i told her to leave me fcking alone i dont want to know anything more of her.
On August 30 2005 12:48 ManaBlue wrote: Kid, your mom bore you, brought you up, fed you your entire life, gave you a middle class upbringing, and you are ready to swear her off because she's moving on after your dad? She has the right to do that.
Further, if you were too oblivious to know that a random guy who went on a trip with your family and bought you gifts for no apparent reason was somehow interested in your mom, then you are just an idiot. Your story doesn't make sense and I can't understand how you were "screwed".
Basically this is the truth, if you want to hear it... You're a spoiled little brat that likes to bounce off your parents and use their split as a means to play favourites and generally be an asshole. If you were my kid I'd throw your computer out the window, shove your IPOD up your ass and kick you out of the house as soon as you turned 18...
But you know why I'd do that? I'm not your family. But your mother is, so she won't. You only get one mom and one dad. If you are willing to throw one of the few (and possibly only) unconditional relationships you will ever have in your life out the window because the person wants to move on with their life, you are a fool and you will regret it living the rest of your life without your mother.
Grow up kid, stop bitching about nothing you spoiled IPOD owning, shit talking, sympathy starving son of a bitch. Fuck you.
On January 18 2005 03:39 M2 wrote: I have a serious girlfriend for 3 years and our relationship looked so flawless for me until yestarday when I went home I saw her making blowjob to my dog(its german shepherd breed),so I was what the fuck is this,what are you doing with my dog?She was very upset at the begging but then started to apologize and told me that she loves me so much,but she is some kind of nimphomaniac and she cant stand long time without sex,it was so wonderful when we make sex,but I alone cannot satisfy her ,coz she needs full-time job sexual care.Thats why she decided instead of cheating me with other men,to make sex with my dog,coz I am citating this:"he likes me very much and he is so nice and cute and I have my needs and I dont wanna cheat on you with others coz I love you more than anytning and anyone and so on..blah blah blah.Honestly guys I dont know what to think right now. We are making sex without condoms and I doubt that my dog is using condoms either and this whole thing is disturbing me very much .I prefer I never caught her or even caught her with another man...really dunno. Oh and I almost forget ,she told me that she dont feel pleasure making blowjobs to my dog ,she did it only to turn him on,like this matters something to me.
If it were to be topped it'd be by Moltke's assessment of attractive women. That takes context and background knowledge though.. that post by M2 is a standalone allstar post.. tough to beat if at all.
On March 27 2007 04:53 Jathin wrote: Some day you'll be able to construct a windmill from your beard, Brood.
On March 27 2007 04:56 BroOd wrote: That man is my father. For seven years he had his beard fashioned into a crude whip, and his face molded into a disapproving scowl.
My beard was just never good enough. Now you know my private shame.
If anybody knows how to find it, i think fakesteves reaction to the Dj Shortee thread was the funniest thing i ever read.
it was basically 20 posts from fakesteve in a row expressing growing disgust and insanity in relation to Dj shortee's unreal scratching and sick dj skills. i cried from laughter.
On September 16 2008 10:34 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: also i like how manablue talks about how that guy should cherish his mother, and then he calls him a "son of a bitch"
hahaha
Hahahaha yeah I noticed the same thing and laughed out loud really hard and now the whole uni PC room is looking at me like wtf cause I keep cracking up really hard at the posts in this thread hahaha.
AND YES YOU SHE-DEMON NEXT TO ME IM NOT LAUGHING BECAUSE OF YOU.
On November 29 2004 19:00 Chogs_User wrote: You're really crossing the line now Ack1027. That is really offensive talk against something that I feel very passionately about and compete competitively in. I'm not one to get too upset, but some other people who compete would be likely to really get derogatory at that kind of a comment against such a peaceful and harmless game.
Look buddy, I will kiss-ass all over you if you can prove this game exists on my terms which is not asking too much, I mean no one else is petitioning against it.
And please~
What are you gonna do, take me underwater and create a basket around my head with your mad weaving skills?
Prove that you play star. I want a video of you IN ACTION and don't try to fake me out! And if you don't own a digital video camera, buy one right now! What ya going to do? Click a mouse around and around my head while hitting 1a2a3a4a5a6a???
Think before you post
I say this:
This is me next to my computer so you are assured that I do indeed have a computer if posting this is not enough evidence.
This is me proving to you this is not some random picture I got:
Yes I wrote that so it's me.
This is me in game saying hi to you:
Again this is another shot of me saying hi to you:
Therefore I have proven to you that Starcraft is a real game and I play it. And I proved it to you without video.
Now you do the same
By the way, my zeal for Starcraft is far greater than your passion for underwater basket fucking so don't even try to outdo me.
Chojja boy off in this hoe Watch me hold it Watch me patrolll Watch me crank dat chojja boy Then lurker spine dat hoe Now watch me Jo Yong Ho! (crank dat Chojja boy) x4
Chojja boy off in this hoe Watch me plague and watch me swarmmmm lurker stop dat hoe Then watch me crank dat 3cm drop Super split, now watch me rush infesting all them haterz man When i do dat Chojja boy I lean to the left and crank dat apm (now you) I micro over yo bitch ass And if we get the fightin Then i'm a-clicking on your bitch You catch me at yo local MSL Yes i crank it everyday Haterz get mad cuz "i got me some imba-lisks"
Chojja boy off in this hoe Watch me hold it Watch me patrolll Watch me crank dat chojja boy Then lurker spine dat hoe Now watch me Jo Yong Ho! (crank dat Chojja boy) x4
On September 16 2008 13:44 ieatkids5 wrote: Anyone remember that one post about a guy fighting wolves? It was funny as hell; was posted in a huge thread.
On October 24 2005 16:46 HnR)Insane wrote: Obviously fake, but I decided to post it b/c it was the most ridiculous one I received.
Subject: My confession.. All headers i took on a army of wolves.. fuckin not normal wolves.. i was feeding the birds out side and fuckin a pack of wolves came sprinting at me // no reason// i screamed '' YOU WANT SOME YOU FUCKS '' a few ran off at the scream.. neighbours ran inside and locked all there doors. any ways around 10-12 ware wolves came at me i grab a semi automatic from my back room and started LOZIN IT SCREAMING '' FUCK WITH ME YOU FUCK WIF DA BEST FUCKAZ ''
eventually after 40 mins of a massive shoot out i eventually grabbed a knife cause i ran out of ammo and started to fuckin rack up some speed bass to be like more alert n shit and fuckin went insane i ran through my double brick house wall like they was paper, wet paper at that
i lost it so hard i fuckin grabbed a ware wolf by the balls and ripped them off and shoved them up his ass he ran for his life.. any ways four of five came at me with claws of Fury 'Slash SHAWISH '' fuckin im ducking and weaving and then suddenly .. one cut's me in the fuckin chest a massive blow i took, my eyes turned red bro and i grabbed the dog kunt by the neck hairs and ripped off his wolly skin.. as '' IN MOTION '' i was rippin it off i cloths lined two wolves and chopped there heads off with his skin/ then there was the master one left
the '' grand FUCKIN master '' im tellin ya bro he had teeth like a walrus but made of fuckin steel cuz any ways he he comes at me with a scissor kick move that ive never encountered before and BOOOOOM BANG!!! two holes in my fuckin arm he puts fuckin punctured the fuck out of me fuckin punctured the fuck out of me
i then fell down a cliff into a river of crocadiles, a croc went to attack me and i bit its eyes off mother fucker took then another bite off me but this time i bit its body in half.. any ways the GRAND MASTER WOLVE was like 5 meters away and he came to a complete stop .. i was wounded ... wounded very badly i then came at the point where its me or the wolve so i whip out my knife and then the ware wolf comes at me with them fuckin claws the size of machettes... the wolve throws all five of his machette claws towards my face i back flip onto a branch and fuckin landed behind him I LOST IT SO HARD I DID A LEBANESE SWIFT KICKED HIS ASS CHEECKS APPART
MOTHA FUCK DIED ON THE SPOT
fuckin coccaroach, i spat at him landed in his ear and then pissed on him as he took his last breaths. im still hurting from that battle man he was a fuckin beast, a BRUTAL warrior, that ive personally taken down him and his smelly army. killed them ware wolves.. im lozin it hard core ..
Chojja boy off in this hoe Watch me hold it Watch me patrolll Watch me crank dat chojja boy Then lurker spine dat hoe Now watch me Jo Yong Ho! (crank dat Chojja boy) x4
Chojja boy off in this hoe Watch me plague and watch me swarmmmm lurker stop dat hoe Then watch me crank dat 3cm drop Super split, now watch me rush infesting all them haterz man When i do dat Chojja boy I lean to the left and crank dat apm (now you) I micro over yo bitch ass And if we get the fightin Then i'm a-clicking on your bitch You catch me at yo local MSL Yes i crank it everyday Haterz get mad cuz "i got me some imba-lisks"
Chojja boy off in this hoe Watch me hold it Watch me patrolll Watch me crank dat chojja boy Then lurker spine dat hoe Now watch me Jo Yong Ho! (crank dat Chojja boy) x4
On January 18 2005 03:39 M2 wrote: I have a serious girlfriend for 3 years and our relationship looked so flawless for me until yestarday when I went home I saw her making blowjob to my dog(its german shepherd breed),so I was what the fuck is this,what are you doing with my dog?She was very upset at the begging but then started to apologize and told me that she loves me so much,but she is some kind of nimphomaniac and she cant stand long time without sex,it was so wonderful when we make sex,but I alone cannot satisfy her ,coz she needs full-time job sexual care.Thats why she decided instead of cheating me with other men,to make sex with my dog,coz I am citating this:"he likes me very much and he is so nice and cute and I have my needs and I dont wanna cheat on you with others coz I love you more than anytning and anyone and so on..blah blah blah.Honestly guys I dont know what to think right now. We are making sex without condoms and I doubt that my dog is using condoms either and this whole thing is disturbing me very much .I prefer I never caught her or even caught her with another man...really dunno. Oh and I almost forget ,she told me that she dont feel pleasure making blowjobs to my dog ,she did it only to turn him on,like this matters something to me.
^^ Lol ok I didn't notice that part before. Yeah best line, kinda tops of the whole thing.
Hot Bid is funniest mod, imo. His quote from the rpf facebook thread...
On August 13 2008 15:02 Hot_Bid wrote: its impressive that you managed to block out your picture, but somehow leave enough room to show the # of friends you have and the wall
there was a kid who used to do this in high school, he'd put his test in his book as a bookmark but somehow always leave the 98 A+ grade part slightly hanging out whenever he got a good grade
that reminds me, as i was driving to work today in my red sports car worth $100,000, i leaned over my supermodel girlfriend and found a quarter. what a lucky day!
Fuck! I am trying to find that post that some1 made about "Texas - Germany" with the picture of Bush in Texas and Hitler cuz of Germany... I know he flamed some1 and they ignored and someone made fun of him and they left it at that.. it was beatiful
i thought i should give a try this story of mine, so you express your opinions and tell me what you would have done.?
"i love my iPod, and what i love more is how i got it. first of all my parents are divorced, i live with my mom. I was going to a 2 day trip to just buy clothes, gifts and stuff out of the city... it was my mom, me and some friend of my mom that offered to take us there.
Anyway, i had no fuckn clue that my mom and this guy were knowing each other to be more than friends... and this guy was buying me stuff like crazy, clothes, shoes, electronics, he bouth me an iPod ( hes got alot of money btw) i didnt understand till he told me that he and my mom were "meeting".
I was SO FUCKING angry and pissed with my mom, because she didnt fuckin told me they were meeting each other, and they didnt tell me anything until like the end of the trip, and btw, the son of this guy is a bullie at school i almost fight to death with him once.. so now i was more than pissed...
i talked and argued with my mom about what happened and i practially told her that it was the worst error of all her life, because i was moving out of the house, i cant accept the fact that my mother hid me something like that and sent me in a trip with them, and let him buy me stuff, like he was buying my soul.
At the end, i thought about it and found theres 2 ways to manage this, the smart one and the proud man and said to myself ill play the smart one "NICE , HE BOUGHT ME ALOT OF THINGS, BUT HE DIDNT BOUGHT ME" HAHA, i kept all the things he bought me, and moved to live with my father, thats where i am now.
if you are interested in this story, heres an extra: when i moved to my fathers house, i wanted MY PC to take it and be there. (my mother only lives now with my sister and they have 2 extra pcs) BUT MY MOM wanted to be so selfish and didnt let me take it ... omg that was the explosion, i told her to leave me fcking alone i dont want to know anything more of her.
On August 30 2005 12:48 ManaBlue wrote: Kid, your mom bore you, brought you up, fed you your entire life, gave you a middle class upbringing, and you are ready to swear her off because she's moving on after your dad? She has the right to do that.
Further, if you were too oblivious to know that a random guy who went on a trip with your family and bought you gifts for no apparent reason was somehow interested in your mom, then you are just an idiot. Your story doesn't make sense and I can't understand how you were "screwed".
Basically this is the truth, if you want to hear it... You're a spoiled little brat that likes to bounce off your parents and use their split as a means to play favourites and generally be an asshole. If you were my kid I'd throw your computer out the window, shove your IPOD up your ass and kick you out of the house as soon as you turned 18...
But you know why I'd do that? I'm not your family. But your mother is, so she won't. You only get one mom and one dad. If you are willing to throw one of the few (and possibly only) unconditional relationships you will ever have in your life out the window because the person wants to move on with their life, you are a fool and you will regret it living the rest of your life without your mother.
Grow up kid, stop bitching about nothing you spoiled IPOD owning, shit talking, sympathy starving son of a bitch. Fuck you.
On September 18 2008 00:18 InfeSteD wrote: Fuck! I am trying to find that post that some1 made about "Texas - Germany" with the picture of Bush in Texas and Hitler cuz of Germany... I know he flamed some1 and they ignored and someone made fun of him and they left it at that.. it was beatiful
On October 22 2006 21:35 Kennigit wrote: So i may answer my own question in the post but here goes :p.
Team Managers seem really tight lipped about their methods for scouting new players in Korea for the pro-league teams. Just out of curiosity does anyone have any idea what goes on to get noticed and picked up ??
Answer:
On October 22 2006 21:37 {88}iNcontroL wrote: They hold a tourney in the mortal realm... Only one man can be the victor... The fate of the world will be decided by...
On October 22 2006 21:35 Kennigit wrote: So i may answer my own question in the post but here goes :p.
Team Managers seem really tight lipped about their methods for scouting new players in Korea for the pro-league teams. Just out of curiosity does anyone have any idea what goes on to get noticed and picked up ??
On October 22 2006 21:37 {88}iNcontroL wrote: They hold a tourney in the mortal realm... Only one man can be the victor... The fate of the world will be decided by...
On October 22 2006 22:29 BrutalMenace wrote: they watch replays of people and then go c how they do on lan event to see how serious they play and how well. They basically try to get people who has high apm and win a lot.
thats what i would do if i were the recruit manager.
does anyone remember that kid who was really protective of his sister going out with someone with a iron maiden shirt. And than someone said imagine him fucking her or something?
On October 25 2005 20:02 jjun212 wrote: k so my sister has a boyfriend
i hate him, i never even met him but by looking at his picture
i can tell that he is ugly, poor, dresses like shit wearing those dirty old iron maiden shirts, (no offence to the people who dress like that, im just saying that it dosent match mine and my sisters style)
and he is half jap and half white
im not racist.. well maybe i am but i hate jap guys, if you were korean, you'd know the history, and even worse, he is a mixed fag
anyways, i usually dont have anything against japanese because people i meet are cool, and i know alotta mixed people
my favourite actress is kristin kreuk, my favourite hockey player is paul kariya and hes half jap and white too so i dont think thats a big issue but i use it against him anyways
and my sister told me that he wanted to get to know her first and take it slow, 2 days later i find out they kissed, wtf their so lucky their in vancouver, or else i'd go and fucking kick his ass
anyways, i dunno what to do, she continually says she loves me more than him, obviously she does but i wanna fuck that fag up so much, i swear i really hate him
On October 26 2005 04:35 Casper... wrote: this thread is funny
ps
close your eyes and picture your sister naked and fucking this guy how do you feel about it
On October 26 2005 01:56 Liquid`Drone wrote: rofl get over it you have to realize that she's gonna be fucking both him and other people, possibly in the ass, and it's not unlikely that she will swallow his cum
let her live her own life or you'll make her hate you and end up picking boyfriends that are even more different from what you think the ideal boyfriend would be like.
On September 19 2007 08:27 Kennigit wrote: Good practice is to go to a bar and ask out fat desperate chicks who are guaranteed to say yes. Its like smurfing on bnet for a few months before a big tourny.
(22:48:09) (rushz0rz) if i lost an arm, i'd cry forever. (22:48:18) (+IntoTheWow) :D (22:48:25) (+IntoTheWow) if i lost an arm (22:48:28) (+IntoTheWow) i would play w3
On November 18 2007 16:08 Rekrul wrote: I don't dance I sit in rooms on my ass and have my waiter drag beautiful women into the room and sit them down next to me then I say Hi and feed them alcohol and tell them how rich I am and then when they say they have to go piss or want to dance with their friends I get their number then they leave the room and probably get intercepted by a waiter and get dragged into another room so I just get a new girl dragged in repeat process 3-10 times depending on how on my game I am (the more the game the less the girls actually as much as that doesn't make sense cuz that means they don't leave cause they find you interesting) until I find myself sitting there wasted alone and horny at 5:30 AM with no recollection of any of all the new girls I have saved in my phone then I send a mass spam text message to all of them saying WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU then usually I get a couple replies and usually one of them is still there and available and comes back then I tell them lets go eat food in my huge house then I take them there then I drag them into my room and in my drunken fevor repeatedly tell myself USE A RUBBER USE A RUBBER USE A RUBBER no matter how badly I want to stick it in bareback then I wake up and find myself naked on my bed with a sick hangover wondering where the fuck the girl went and wondering what the hell she looked like so I ask my roommates if she was hot or not, not that it matters at all because the number gets deleted then I check my wallet to see if she stole any of the 10k in it then I sit down on my ass and start posting / banning on teamliquid until I'm hungry as hell and summon the will power to order food then I eat and play some poker then it's already 8 or 9 PM again and I start getting antsy and start making calls to friends saying where the fuck are we going tonight and before I know it I'm sitting on my ass in a night club room again.
On November 18 2007 23:32 NotSorry wrote: So fucking jealous, I want to kill myself, just in the off chance that I can be reincarnated as you...
On January 25 2008 10:07 jkillashark wrote: Most Koreans don't eat dogs.
Those that do pick dogs that are stupid to eat. They don't eat intelligent dogs. They only eat dogs that are deemed ddong gaes which means crap dog. Means it's good for nothing you might as well eat it. lol.
I don't eat dogs btw.
back when i lived in korea 14 years ago my family had a ddong gae and then we moved to america but we coudlnt take the dog with us and so we left it with my grandpas cousin and then later we get news that my grandpa's cousin hanged my dog and ate it.. made 보신탕.. T T
On February 09 2008 12:48 Rekrul wrote: recently i msg'd him 'hi hater' cause his msn name said 'fuck all the haters' then he just started spamming my msn box with reasons why korea was hard for him and easy for me
Like what, exactly
U KNOW HOW EASY U HAD IT IN YOUR TIME EVERYONE WAS BAD PLAYER AND U HAD ELKY GRRR LEG ASSEM AND EVERYONE AND ENGLISH SPEAKING MANAGER TO HELP U AND TALK WITH U DIDNT GET LONELY AND UR TEAMMATES DIDNT TELL U TO CLOSE WINDOWS IN THE SUMMER AND U HAD MONEY AND OTHER OPTIONS FROM POKER AND PPL DIDNT YELL AT U TO CALL THEM HYUNG AND UR ORGANIZATION WASNT FULL OF FUCKING IDIOTS WHO DIDNT WANT TO PAY YOU AND U STUDIED THE LANGUAGE AND UR PARENTS SUPPORTED U AND ALL FOREIGN COMMUNITY LIKED U AND U ACTUALLY HAD TIME TO GO OUT AND PARTY NOT ALWAYS IN THE HOUSE AND U DIDNT HAVE TO SLEEP IN A SMELLY HOUSE WITH TEN GUYS IN THE SAME ROOM ALL MASTURBATING IN THEIR TOP BUNK IMAGINING HOT GIRLS IN THE INPERFECTIONS OF THE CEILING
ok i made most of that up but you get the point
On May 01 2008 06:10 {88}iNcontroL wrote: KOREAN MAPS ARE LESS IMPORTANT HAHA WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT KOREAN MAPS KID? JESUS TRY THE HARD LIFE OF A ZERG. WE DONT HAVE FUCKING MAP CROSSING ARCLITE CANNONS, EVERYTHING CANNOT BE REPAIRS, WE DONT HAVE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION LIKE SPIDER MINES AND WE CERTAINLY AS FUCK DONT HAVE NUCLEAR WEAPONS CAUSE ANY GAME THAT HAS THAT SUCKS LIKE COMMAND AND CONQUER 3. ALSO, WE DONT HAVE FLYING BUILDINGS OR MOTHERFUCKING DEFENSIVE STRUCTURES THAT SHOOT AIR AND GROUND AND CAN BE REPAIRED AND COST 100$ FUCKING MINERALS. OUR WORKERS DIE WHEN THE WIND BLOWS TOO HARD AND SURE AS FUCK DONT HAVE FUSION CUTTERS. WAIT? YOU HAVE GOLIATHS THAT SHOOT ACROSS THE MAP AT AIR UNITS AND CAN BE REPAIRED AND ARE CHEAP? JESUS WHO MADE THIS GAME. JESUS I WISH I HAD 5-6 of THE ALL TIME BEST PLAYERS TO MODEL MY GAME AFTER. WAIT? WERENT THEY ALL FUCKING TERRAN? WE HAVE NADA, BOXER, OOV, FLASH, MIDAS and XELLOS ALL KICKING ASS FOR YEARS AT A TIME WHILE WE GET FUCKING FAT ASS JULY WHO SUCKS NOW, YELLOW WHO ALWAYS FUCKING SUCKED BUT NOBODY KNEW FOR A BIT AND WE FINALLY GOT SAVIOR BUT THEN THEY DRESSED HIM LIKE HITLER SO HE SUCKED AND NOW WE HAVE JAEDONG BUT THAT KID CANT FIGURE OUT THE NEW KOREAN MAPS THAT DONT MATTER. JESUS FUCK IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE PLAYERS THAT SPAN DECADES AND DOMINATE THE ENTIRE TIME. GIMME SOME OF THAT PLEASE. HEY WHAT ABOUT BUILDINGS DO YOU LOSE A SCV EACH TIME YOU MAKE ONE? NO. WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN ACTUALLY TELL THEM TO RETURN TO MINING AFTER THEY ARE DONE BUILDING? I THOUGHT THAT AUTO MINING GARBAGE WAS FOR HACKERS OR BAD GAMES. TERRAN'S CAN DO IT? FUCK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SWEET DEAL. EACH TIME WE (zerg) HAVE TO BUILD WE TELL ONE OF OUR SACRED MINERS "HEY FUCK YOU TIME TO DIE" AND THEY DO. THEN WE GET A FUCKING BUILDING. WHICH, HALF THE TIME ISNT ENOUGH: WE HAVE TO PAY MOREE FUCKING MONEY TO GET IT TO DO SOME SHIT LIKE DICK THE GROUND OR SPRAY PISS IN THE AIR.
On July 04 2008 20:50 clazziquai wrote: she is so much better back in the days...lol come on
agreed.
oh haji you fell for the pedo-trap
w/e, I'm a fucking Jap, I can live with that. It's in my genes. lol
On July 20 2008 08:37 travis wrote: i'd get a lurker on my back shooting spines at my asshole
or 2 ghosts on my stomach launching nukes, with my nipples being the red dots
On August 24 2008 22:42 AttackZerg wrote: I'll tell you how I maintain my lean figure.....
When playing Iccup I lean slightly forward and maintain a lightly flexed abdomin, I hang my shoulders so that my posture isn't terrible and I control my breathing (see any la`monz youtube video for details). Also if you wish to have froglike legs I keep my chair on its highest setting so that only the balls of my feet are touching the ground, I bounce them continuously for the entirety of my starcraft session (In chat too!).
My prespective. I am trying to preform over 700 actions per minute. All of the things I include are: Breathing Clicking Hotkeying Typing Leg bouncing Facial twitches, lip sync with winamp, motivational phrases, and of course curses. And blinking
I do not include: Heartbeats ( as far as I'm concerned its just spam) Head nodding/smiling ( different then dramatic in-game twitches) Coffee/Soda/Apple juice drinking ( I figure my apm is high enough without the boost) Phonecalls ( I rarely do more then forward call to voicemail in game, but still!) Penial reactions ( sometimes during chat I'm looking at porn, this is counterproductive to longevity in gamming .... Beware of this)
With a good eight to ten hours a day ( 3 days a week) I am able to stay in great shape and maintain a good Iccup standing, so that the other days of the week I can keep up with my sprinting,basketball,bike riding and chain smoking.
I hope this helps
On August 29 2008 13:44 pooper-scooper wrote: Voted white, because that is the color I buy them in, but well....
They are technically gray because I have hasu laundry skills.
On September 04 2008 14:50 Hot_Bid wrote: Rekrul, Stork, and Gregory House
On September 18 2008 00:18 InfeSteD wrote: Fuck! I am trying to find that post that some1 made about "Texas - Germany" with the picture of Bush in Texas and Hitler cuz of Germany... I know he flamed some1 and they ignored and someone made fun of him and they left it at that.. it was beatiful
On September 18 2008 00:18 InfeSteD wrote: Fuck! I am trying to find that post that some1 made about "Texas - Germany" with the picture of Bush in Texas and Hitler cuz of Germany... I know he flamed some1 and they ignored and someone made fun of him and they left it at that.. it was beatiful
On September 20 2008 02:35 Hyperionnn wrote: Question:
On October 22 2006 21:35 Kennigit wrote: So i may answer my own question in the post but here goes :p.
Team Managers seem really tight lipped about their methods for scouting new players in Korea for the pro-league teams. Just out of curiosity does anyone have any idea what goes on to get noticed and picked up ??
Answer:
On October 22 2006 21:37 {88}iNcontroL wrote: They hold a tourney in the mortal realm... Only one man can be the victor... The fate of the world will be decided by...
On September 26 2008 17:29 yubee wrote: had some blue strong stuff blue vodka@! you know? it's a great night you should all smile no matter what harddships, because grass grows and the sky is blue and it's a good life
EPT
complain or not!
i hope the spider didn't get hurt
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though I think it was cumming in her throat?![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/staff/Hot_Bid/indexed/venndiagram1.jpg)
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