EPT
It’s incredibly sociopathic that after a relationship full of beautiful moments, smiles, laughter and love, you break up and pretend the other person never existed, you erase that completely from your social media, social life, never talk about them again, never talk with the again, and they become dead to you. Like think about it. If your relationship lasted 2 years, 1 years 6 years you’re erasing those years from your life as if nothing happened? It’s insane.
I understand during a breakup is good to keep distance. To process that it’s over, turn the page and continue with your life. I have no problem with that concept. But erasing that person forever? Never talking with them again?
Now, there are different types of break ups. If you broke up because the other person was an asshole and hurt you then yes, fuck him/her and don’t talk with them. But most people are actually wonderful people. Most relationships fail because of mistakes, not malice, or because you weren’t compatible long term.
But a lot of people turn so cruel after a break up. Wether they broke up with you and they turn cruel and cold as if you never even mattered, or maybe they break up with you and you turn bitter and cruel and hate them…
I understand sometimes it’s a coping mechanism to protect ourselves. “I want to break up with this guy because we’re not compatible long term, so I’m also going to focus on all the small things he did wrong to feel justified in breaking up with him and will start to think the relationship wasn’t good so I don’t feel bad for ending it”. But it’s truly not necessary and it’s kind of insane. I understand if the relationship was awful but most of them are really not.
Then there is the whole “don’t talk or come back to your ex”. I don’t know about you but I’m bombarded in TikTok with stuff like that. And let me be clear I think you shouldn’t go back with your ex most of the time, the relationship ended for a reason. But I can think a thousand reasons why it would be good to leave the door open to talk sometime or to even come back in some cases.
Regarding talking, if both of you are mature, and understand that the relationship is over and will not come back, I don’t see how it’s wrong to talk from Time to time and catch up, even by message. At the end of the day your partner was one of the most important persons in your life. Or maybe they can assist you with X, like they are a veterinarian or something and you need help, why erase them from your life?
Or going back and having a relationship again. Most relationships shouldn’t do this, it’s toxic and most likely the reason why you broke up are still there. But there are cases where that reason is gone. What if you had a relationship and your partner went o another country for 2 years for school, and your relationship couldn’t handle it. When that person comes back, the reason it ended is gone, why wouldn’t you try? I’m not saying wait two years doing nothing for the other person to come back, but if stars along and you’re both single, is it really just a sin?
Then there is the aspect of a new relationship. I can understand that it’s uncomfortable if you’re on a new relationship that your partner talks with an ex. But again there are different types of exes.
If it’s one of those exes that obviously wants to hang her and is just waiting for an opportunity then yeah, no way. If it’s an ex that is deluded and wants to get back together with her, no way. But if it’s a guy that she broke up with because they were not compatible for a relationship, or they dated in early high school for like 2 months and then became friends, and the ex has a new partner and they respect each other… why not?
I don’t know I just think breaks up are insane.
And again, sometimes I understand. I have an ex who was a total bitch and would never want to talk to again. But my two most recent exes were honestly great people, and we never even had big fights in the relationship, it ended because long term incompatibility, but I only think great things about them. Why do I need to pretend they never existed, and turn them
Into total strangers and never talk to them again? I’m not saying I’ll be their best friend but at least have the door open to chat from time to time without it meaning that I want to go back with them or that “I’m a loser for talking to my ex”.
And why do some people turn so cruel to someone who they shared something amazing with? Specially when you never even had a big issue? why should you erase that person from your life?
The more I think about it the more insane it is.
