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Well. It's been a little while since I posted here. I haven't really had a lot of reason to. But sometimes I like to keep updates rolling on external crap, especially with the heavy material my past posts contained.
So... wtf even happened? Well, the audiobook I mentioned last time was completed and released shortly after that post. That managed to be the only productive and meaningful thing I've done in years.
I eventually called it quits on Apex F, the Starcraft 2 project, due to the hardcoded nature of the AI and how disgustingly bad it performs. I guess there's no harm in showing some of the content of that project.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/IdoQGJIl.png)
Gna's carrier I revised with the art tools.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/EqGArwhl.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/eeDSDIzl.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/1jGtghTl.gif)
I was porting a ton of models from various Korean MMO's.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/M862IsNl.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/aOwP3QCl.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/9wuhQvAl.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/IxXXBaGl.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/mVmJIYvl.png)
I was in the process of replacing the game's vanilla assets, including doodads and sounds. I had totally reworked all Terran base SFX by the project's cancellation.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/wD15rZ4l.gif)
I was making particles equivalent to my Sins ones within the first hour of making an effort into it.
Of course, being able to make an endless supply of assets doesn't mean anything when the game you are trying to force the assets into is a hacky mess that performs worse than any available alternative.
To that end, I decided to pick up Unreal 4 and ditch modding and its related elements for good.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/6ddjpFQl.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/lOC7dgql.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/XwcH7bnl.jpg)
While I'm a long way from being able to see these objects I made for testing textured and ingame, I have figured out pipelines for porting those assets I was using in sc2 into Unreal 4 and, more importantly, remastering them. I've also returned to the particle front and have made an effort to figure that out as well.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/oL8CXO5l.png)
Those 10gb+ of filterforge renders I made during Retribution finally see some screen time.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/7rLknLil.png)
Particles are a lot more complicated in Unreal 4 than Sins, but the editor is much easier to use than sc2's plugin for 3ds max, so adapting has been fairly painless.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Atwtrbgl.png)
I have a shaky grasp on the basics of particles, including being able to take an existing asset and add new functionality to it, like the animated, brightness-based distortion on this guy's glowy bits.
Times have been very hard. A second eviction seems inevitable. I've had $30 to my name for 6 months and it's not likely I will ever see the 3k+ I am owed ever again. I will have to go deep into debt to pay for movers and eventually storage when I am forced onto the street. Then I will probably off myself. The cat struggles with ulcers to this day and there is no end to the misery of a completely volatile environment. Someone was murdered or something a house away and the nonstop street racing and midnight East Indian screamathons leads to constant concerns about safety.
This is hell. I use my work to try to distract myself from it. But that just isn't something that works. It's only a short matter of time before shit really hits the fan and that's that. But I am not afraid. Not at all. What is there to fear from a certain future?
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/hqA8q7dl.png)
All a man can do is live by the moment, for the moment. Convert something from a game. Polish it up. Make it shine. That's the moment. Don't care about anything else. Don't live for anything else. The moment you open your eyes is the moment you invite ruin absolute.
Living is for nerds, anyways. You don't want to be branded a nerd, do you? Nerds are nerdy. God. You won't be popular if kids think you're a nerd.
I still sometimes do the voice acting thing, too. But acting is for nerds, so be sure you have your fedora tightened.
  
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Dude, this looks awesome!
How much will it cost to hire you?
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surely you can get a job with such amazing skills! your work is beautiful. I just don't have a game development / animation company.
Stay positive, you have great skills, listened to your voice acting too.
My suggestion is to stay afloat with some work related to your skills (or not related, just don't give up). Then if you're active in looking for partners, be it at TL (a good place to start im sure) or at work (if you get a place at a game development / animation place) and you can create something together!
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Wow, this is amazing work. PM sent.
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On March 27 2015 17:28 ninazerg wrote:
Dude, this looks awesome!
How much will it cost to hire you?
I don't do commissions. In all likelyhood I can't do what you want, and I have no way to receive payment, anyways.
On March 27 2015 19:03 JieXian wrote:
surely you can get a job with such amazing skills! your work is beautiful. I just don't have a game development / animation company.
None of my skills are worth money. Porting doesn't make you an artist. I port because I'm not an artist. You'd think 15 years experience with 3d graphics would have changed that... but no. I went into detail why in earlier blogs.
People have tried to hire me did so under the pretense that I know UV/texturing. Of course, I don't. I also cannot model organics at all. My only actual skills are voice acting and writing and I have never sold those.
My suggestion is to stay afloat with some work related to your skills (or not related, just don't give up). Then if you're active in looking for partners, be it at TL (a good place to start im sure) or at work (if you get a place at a game development / animation place) and you can create something together!
Like I detailed in previous blogs I don't want to get into working for other people. I don't find that enjoyable. To me death is a better alternative. There's no way I can stay afloat with anything I do. The hole is just too deep and I am not good enough.
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On March 28 2015 01:17 IskatuMesk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 27 2015 17:28 ninazerg wrote:
Dude, this looks awesome!
How much will it cost to hire you? I don't do commissions. In all likelyhood I can't do what you want, and I have no way to receive payment, anyways. Show nested quote +On March 27 2015 19:03 JieXian wrote:
surely you can get a job with such amazing skills! your work is beautiful. I just don't have a game development / animation company. None of my skills are worth money. Porting doesn't make you an artist. I port because I'm not an artist. You'd think 15 years experience with 3d graphics would have changed that... but no. I went into detail why in earlier blogs. People have tried to hire me did so under the pretense that I know UV/texturing. Of course, I don't. I also cannot model organics at all. My only actual skills are voice acting and writing and I have never sold those. Show nested quote +My suggestion is to stay afloat with some work related to your skills (or not related, just don't give up). Then if you're active in looking for partners, be it at TL (a good place to start im sure) or at work (if you get a place at a game development / animation place) and you can create something together! Like I detailed in previous blogs I don't want to get into working for other people. I don't find that enjoyable. To me death is a better alternative. There's no way I can stay afloat with anything I do. The hole is just too deep and I am not good enough.
have you tried picking up zbrush? It's THE software for organic modeling .... in fact after trying it I started to struggle with hard surfaces lol. The good thing is, the new version of zbrush also allows a combination of hard surface and organic modeling (though I still prefer maya)
But you're absolutely right that you have to be capable of creating your own stuff if you ever want to sell it, else you can too easily get destroyed when a client demands a certain asset to be made
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I tried Zbrush a long time ago and couldn't figure out the interface. Honestly it has been a high priority for me for quite a long time but I just haven't had the motivation to get around it. I'm hoping I can get into it this year.
I can create my own stuff but it just isn't good enough for sale.
http://www.gameproc.com/meskstuff/ret_devseries/rettest.html
This shows a lot of stuff I made by hand for Retribution. It also has some demonstrational videos talking about the content. I most recommend Tests 18 and 19.
Retribution was a machinima/indie movie thing I was trying to make using the UDK and Sins. I could make the ships and effects and scenes but not the characters.
(/e 2 Oh! How silly of me. Here I am posting videos about retribution and I completely forgot to post the one that actually shows a ton of the models specifically for demoing. http://www.gameproc.com/meskstuff/LP/HMesk_BlackSunTheUnsungLegacy.mkv )
/edit
I am considering posting the audiobook thing on TL. Do you think anyone would be interested in a 3 hour audio-only production?
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I think I saw some of your 3D modeling before I even started browsing TL. It was such a long time ago, but I think it was pert of the reason I picked up 3D modeling? Or a bit after? IDK. But you were a huge inspiration to me back then, especially after I noticed you were on TL as well. It's great to see you're still around and doing stuff. Keep it up man.
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this blog is real and it speaks to me.
5 stars.
All a man can do is live by the moment, for the moment. Convert something from a game. Polish it up. Make it shine. That's the moment. Don't care about anything else. Don't live for anything else. The moment you open your eyes is the moment you invite ruin absolute.
in particular this section.
the confident juxtaposition of the motivational cliche,
with your absurdly narrow, and peculiar interpretation,
on a the menacing backdrop of anxiety intimately tied
to this disconnect.
comical, tragical, and real.
bravo, magnificent, tips fedora.
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On March 28 2015 09:38 jrkirby wrote:
I think I saw some of your 3D modeling before I even started browsing TL. It was such a long time ago, but I think it was pert of the reason I picked up 3D modeling? Or a bit after? IDK. But you were a huge inspiration to me back then, especially after I noticed you were on TL as well. It's great to see you're still around and doing stuff. Keep it up man.
Yeah. Just trying to make ends meet as usual. I didn't do much 3d work in 2014 because of all the shit that went down. But hopefully this year allows me to pick it up again. I'm learning a lot about Unreal 4 both in porting stuff and building stuff from hand. I think the particles especially will be impressive when I get to bringing it all together. Of course, I have to pick up a lot of new skills as well, like blueprint editing and whatnot. That's not going so well due to my learning disabilities... but we're in it for the long haul, now.
*tips fedora*
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all the best!
Keep fighting on!
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On March 28 2015 01:17 IskatuMesk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 27 2015 17:28 ninazerg wrote:
Dude, this looks awesome!
How much will it cost to hire you? I don't do commissions. In all likelyhood I can't do what you want, and I have no way to receive payment, anyways.
Listen. I wants ya. I'm gonna have ya.
PLEASE
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your starcraft stuff is absurdly awesome O_O i wish that kinda stuff was in the game or even in something like a bonus campaign thing (outside of the mainstory line)
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On March 29 2015 16:22 ninazerg wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2015 01:17 IskatuMesk wrote:On March 27 2015 17:28 ninazerg wrote:
Dude, this looks awesome!
How much will it cost to hire you? I don't do commissions. In all likelyhood I can't do what you want, and I have no way to receive payment, anyways. Listen. I wants ya. I'm gonna have ya. PLEASE
I sometimes do requests for modders (for free) if their project is nearly complete. It also greatly depends on what it is you need. If it's a voice, I might be able to handle it. But anything 3d is probably likely not to work out.
I produced Starcraft total conversions for like 10 years. Tried to do campaign stuff in both games but never really worked out.
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You can try your hand at casting again for LOTV bandwagon. Always liked your casts better than all the 10000s of other idiots.
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I considered taking requests again... I don't think I would bother casting high level stuff again, though. I don't know if anyone who was submitting me replays even still plays. I will consider it.
I did cast a bunch of league of legends in the past, but most of it was of my own (low-level) games. Since we haven't had enough to play 5's in a very long time I haven't casted it in an equally long time. I've mostly focused on LP's.
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EPT
