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It's either this:
She actually has serious emotional baggage that is making her hesitant about entering a relationship. She might be finding herself really liking you...and because of those prior bad experiences she is freaking out and she is pulling back
or this:
She just doesn't like you that much but can't really figure out wgy. Missing 'the spark' or something.
Imagine a situation where you like everything about a person and they are the most exciting thing going on in your life, but somehow you just don't feel that innate unstoppable attraction. You could go forward with them but you know at some point you'll be wondering why it's a decision and not a need. It's very uncomfortable to both want a relationship "on paper" and not have that gut feeling of necessity. "Creating a problem where it doesn't exist?" Yes and no, I guess. So maybe this is what her situation is. In which case it's best that his happened now and not later.
Or it may be difficult for her to get close to someone right now, possibly because of past issues.
If it bothers you a lot, or you think she might continue this after all, why not ask her to explain her feelings more? What you wrote in the blog that she said, it doesn't really say anything too much.
All the people responding talking about "crazy bitches" and "playing games", I'm sorry you guys have had bad experiences. If someone is willing to communicate (like it seems B is) there is no reason to believe they're crazy. Maybe complicated. The great thing is you can actually figure it out through words, amazing I know.
[edit] Oh I would also say, she might be scared of the concept of the deepening relationship and its commitments. She might think you need it to be a certain way and she is not sure she will be able to fulfill that expectation. (Since you mention before you guys have trouble talking about the relationship itself, but not everything else.) Maybe she would be comfortable and happy with you as a friend and lover, but not "partner". Are you willing to be in an open-ended situation like that? Maybe that would work for her and you two could still enjoy your connection to each other. I dunno if this is actually what's going on but it's possible.
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On May 01 2014 04:30 EatThePath wrote:
[edit] Oh I would also say, she might be scared of the concept of the deepening relationship and its commitments. She might think you need it to be a certain way and she is not sure she will be able to fulfill that expectation. (Since you mention before you guys have trouble talking about the relationship itself, but not everything else.) Maybe she would be comfortable and happy with you as a friend and lover, but not "partner". Are you willing to be in an open-ended situation like that? Maybe that would work for her and you two could still enjoy your connection to each other. I dunno if this is actually what's going on but it's possible.
Yeah, I think that is the case, because today we were talking normal again. I guess she is just not sure about what are the extension of her feelings for me. I`m fine having an open-ended relationship. Having her as friend is better than not having her in my life at all.. I know how childish this may be, but it's true.
Anyway, while we were talking today I noticed that she does like me, as she was thrilled to go out again, but I said i had too many things to do and couldn't go out, she was not disappointed however. Also, i discovered that she was into another guy, but dude was being an asshole ignoring her.
I confronted her about this and she confirmed, but said that shes not into him anymore, as he does not care about her. That pretty much explains everything. She was into someone else and getting envolved with me must be tough.
Any tips on this? Do I just stay talking with her, is there something i can do? Or do I back off and let her do whatever she wants?
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On May 01 2014 05:40 Gleen wrote:Show nested quote +On May 01 2014 04:30 EatThePath wrote:
[edit] Oh I would also say, she might be scared of the concept of the deepening relationship and its commitments. She might think you need it to be a certain way and she is not sure she will be able to fulfill that expectation. (Since you mention before you guys have trouble talking about the relationship itself, but not everything else.) Maybe she would be comfortable and happy with you as a friend and lover, but not "partner". Are you willing to be in an open-ended situation like that? Maybe that would work for her and you two could still enjoy your connection to each other. I dunno if this is actually what's going on but it's possible. Yeah, I think that is the case, because today we were talking normal again. I guess she is just not sure about what are the extension of her feelings for me. I`m fine having an open-ended relationship. Having her as friend is better than not having her in my life at all.. I know how childish this may be, but it's true. Anyway, while we were talking today I noticed that she does like me, as she was thrilled to go out again, but I said i had too many things to do and couldn't go out, she was not disappointed however. Also, i discovered that she was into another guy, but dude was being an asshole ignoring her. I confronted her about this and she confirmed, but said that shes not into him anymore, as he does not care about her. That pretty much explains everything. She was into someone else and getting envolved with me must be tough. Any tips on this? Do I just stay talking with her, is there something i can do? Or do I back off and let her do whatever she wants?
Imo it's not childish, it's a value-positive way of looking at your life. As for how to approach going after her, I don't have advice about that kind of thing.  But I will say if she is a worthwhile person and you want more from knowing her (sex, time commitment, to feel valued/needed, whatever), you should state that clearly at some point. If she can't provide what you need, then move on. It's about you.
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Women don't need to take vitamin D very often.
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Why do people keep insisting that girls are turned off by nice guys? It's such bullshit. You can be both manly and genuinely nice. What most girls don't like is an effeminate little pussy. Know the difference.
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On May 01 2014 11:57 B.I.G. wrote:
Why do people keep insisting that girls are turned off by nice guys? It's such bullshit. You can be both manly and genuinely nice. What most girls don't like is an effeminate little pussy. Know the difference.
Because "nice guy" is functionally synonymous with a guy that is supplicative, needy, and thinks that in order to get women he has to please them.
Yes, you can be nice and still be a confident, smart guy that knows how to flirt, lead, and generally be attractive to women. That is different than being a "Nice Guy" though.
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EPT
