|
this is a follow up to my previous blog, which you can read here
This is also a rant blog, why the fuck women says you're the perfect guy, that she likes you.. but you just are not for her? for gods sake.
So, today me and girl B went out for the second time and everything was fine (and according to her it still is), but... BUT! after i drop her at her house and get back to mine... i receive a message from her:
"Gleen (she used my real name), you are a wonderful man. Perfect. I like you so much, I really do. You are funny, always smiling, makes me laugh all the time. We make wonderful sex and you're so affectionate! But I don't know up to where should I stay with you, it's not your fault... it's mine. It's my fault that i can't deal with my own feelings and desires. I don't wanna hurt you, but i don't wanna live an ilusion with you"
I was like WHATHEFUCKDIDIJUSTREAD? I've had enough my friends, no more abusive relationships, no more indecisive women. How can she say that everything is fine but she can't enjoy it... does she roll a dice? To make up a reason for not being together? Creating a problem where it doesn't exist?
Okay... she may be lying, trying to make it easy for me.. but why? we already said things WAAAY harder to say than "i don't like you"
Anyway, sorry for my bad english... i'm kinda pissed off and can't think straight right now.
  
|
All of this being said, it wasn't going to go very well for either of you by the sounds of it. Be glad it ended sooner rather than later. There's plenty more women out there.
I've read quite a few first hand accounts of people dating online in brazil and having great success.
IE:Getting hounded by women like crazy for being an average looking guy and just having an online profile.
+ Show Spoiler +site was okcupid incase your wondering, met my GF of 3 years and still going on there.
|
In the words of Sheldon Cooper: Bitches be crazy.
|
To make up a reason for not being together? Creating a problem where it doesn't exist?
but there is a problem: she's just not that into you. deal with it.
|
Russian Federation1016 Posts
Somehow it reminds me the analogy about job interview:
+ Show Spoiler +You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
|
|
|
Sounds like a commitment issue?
|
On April 30 2014 13:51 Gleen wrote:
Okay... she may be lying, trying to make it easy for me.. but why? we already said things WAAAY harder to say than "i don't like you"
You mentioned abusive relationships and this seems to indicate you guys have had pretty bad arguements. Maybe the reason for it? (Not like, in a bad way directed at you.)
|
She just doesn't like you that much but can't really figure out wgy. Missing 'the spark' or something. At least that's what I think.
|
Looks like she has feelings for another guy. As to why women can hardly ever be honest, no one really knows 
|
Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
On April 30 2014 14:54 Jerubaal wrote:
In the words of Sheldon Cooper: Bitches be crazy.
^^^
So....women, they are ever so much fun aren't they. They really have no idea what they want in life it is great fun. Makes us males have the hardest job in the world, how do you keep a female happy enough to keep putting out. This question, is like the meaning of life, impossible to predict and do.
My answer; pay $100 a month and use a hooker, or even better. There is many a website to buy a wife these days 
|
As a friend wrote yesterday on fb, there is plenty of girls around but a real absence of true Woman.
I guess girls just like to be bitch-slapped and just treated like shit. the more you treat them like a rug the more they come after you and want more. Coincidentally i noticed that since i stopped treating woman that way i have also stopped dating all round. Coincidences? I mean you act like a man, you show and give support and respect, and if not love, appreciation. and then shit like this happens. The few woman i met lately that i would like to be with are all taken, and i don' t go for woman that are taken.
The only other thing i can think of is that this is a test: a test in her eyes to see how much you are willing to commit to her? you' ve dated plenty times before so i' m sure you know what i' m talking about. In my experience do, if you just reply nicely, she will keep thinking she has the right to do this. in my experience, case may be different here. If that is the case, and i where you, i would answer her firmly but nicely. I would tell her that what she wrote upset me, and that if she wants to know something she should just ask straightfoward and not play games with my emotions. And if she does really think i am nice and wonderful, but feels the same the need to be with someone else who is not so nice to her, she has no right to walk in and out of my life, and she has to respect that. If you do go this way, you are likely to lose her, if she is immature. or she might be willing to step up and act like a woman, and if she really means the things she wrote, but its she who has to change, and she alone can change that. Either way if you go this way about it at least you are likely to get the truth from her, or at least clear out things so that she understands she doesn' t have the right to step in and out of your life and toggle with your emotions and feelings.
Just if you tell her these things, make sure its when you are thinking straight and calm down, and not out of the emotions you are feeling right now.
man, i simpatize with you, gl, really
|
She doesn't want to commit; may be looking at someone else at the same time.
Didn't have the balls to crush you.
|
On April 30 2014 15:00 Meadowlark wrote:Show nested quote +To make up a reason for not being together? Creating a problem where it doesn't exist? but there is a problem: she's just not that into you. deal with it.
Sure, sure... but then why say all those things and not something like "hey, it's just that im not into you" instead saying what she said? To make it easier? for who exaclt? I can say it does not make it easier for me.
On April 30 2014 17:24 Omnishroud wrote:Show nested quote +On April 30 2014 13:51 Gleen wrote:
Okay... she may be lying, trying to make it easy for me.. but why? we already said things WAAAY harder to say than "i don't like you"
You mentioned abusive relationships and this seems to indicate you guys have had pretty bad arguements. Maybe the reason for it? (Not like, in a bad way directed at you.)
Not arguing with each other, just saying stuff about ourselves that is complicated to tell anyone else. By abusive i was meaning indecisive women, not sure about her own feelings, playing games and saying one thing but doing another.
Anyway, I've had some time to think and calmed down my brain. I get that it's just possible that she's just not sure about what to do, or that she's just does not like me enough. Either way, like someone said, this wasn't looking good from the beginning so maybe it was better to end things right now.
|
Don't ever listen to woman's words, listen to her actions.
|
People say that stuff all the time because they don't have the cojones to say what they think, or they just think it's nicer to tell a white lie. I do it a lot when going out to eat etc because nobody wants to hear about how the food was below par and seasoned a bit wrong (unless it's really shit, then bitching is fun).
The easy thing to say is "don't let it get under your skin, just move on" but it's harder than that. I've been telling meself to not be salty about Hearthstone but I still mentally drown a bag full of kittens and have to stop playing when losing to a series of topdecks / miss draws.
Also what the guy said about there not being enough woman in world.
|
It sounds like she only likes you as a friend, that hurts I know that feeling.
|
You've written 3 blog posts over the span of less than a week. Chill the fuck out, and don't write something that happens and you haven't gotten the chance to think about. Just let things mull over and see what happens. And stop making so many blogs about the same topic when you make simply update it by posting in the same thread.
EDIT: jesus you make so many blog threads over a few days. You even created two blog threads in one day before. I think you just really need to let things play out instead of freaking out in blog form.
|
On April 30 2014 19:59 Gleen wrote:Show nested quote +On April 30 2014 15:00 Meadowlark wrote:To make up a reason for not being together? Creating a problem where it doesn't exist? but there is a problem: she's just not that into you. deal with it. Sure, sure... but then why say all those things and not something like "hey, it's just that im not into you" instead saying what she said? To make it easier? for who exaclt? I can say it does not make it easier for me.
Because she doesn't know you and is choosing the from her perspective best way to ensure that you're not going to do something stupid. Especially when she has prior bad experiences you should never underestimate what a person went through. Even without history there aren't exactly few men out there who react pretty damn bad to "Sorry, I'm just not into you".
|
On April 30 2014 13:51 Gleen wrote:this is a follow up to my previous blog, which you can read hereThis is also a rant blog, why the fuck women says you're the perfect guy, that she likes you.. but you just are not for her? for gods sake.
How do people not know this by now? What it means is that you someone she thinks is a good person, but there isn't any attraction. You might be really funny, exciting, and a generally chill guy...but if there isn't attraction she isn't going to be interested in dating you.
If you get this a ton, it means you are probably too much of the 'stereotypical nice guy' that shows too much interest in her, and is essentially too needed and friendly...which is a huge turn off for most girls. You don't have to go to the extreme of being an asshole, but generally being flirty, challenging, and in general not aggressively going after her is going to work best.
So, today me and girl B went out for the second time and everything was fine (and according to her it still is), but... BUT! after i drop her at her house and get back to mine... i receive a message from her:
"Gleen (she used my real name), you are a wonderful man. Perfect. I like you so much, I really do. You are funny, always smiling, makes me laugh all the time. We make wonderful sex and you're so affectionate! But I don't know up to where should I stay with you, it's not your fault... it's mine. It's my fault that i can't deal with my own feelings and desires. I don't wanna hurt you, but i don't wanna live an ilusion with you"
Okay, somewhat ignore the above for this specific case but likely you have
1)She actually has serious emotional baggage that is making her hesitant about entering a relationship. She might be finding herself really liking you...and because of those prior bad experiences she is freaking out and she is pulling back
OR
2)She has another guy she is interested in, moreso than you.
In the case of number 1...DO NOT try to talk her out of it rationally. Basically just ignore it, maybe pull back a little bit and keep hanging out with her. She will come around, unless she has some seriously extreme hang-ups/issues going on in her life.
Number 2 you can't do much about.
|
It's either this:
She actually has serious emotional baggage that is making her hesitant about entering a relationship. She might be finding herself really liking you...and because of those prior bad experiences she is freaking out and she is pulling back
or this:
She just doesn't like you that much but can't really figure out wgy. Missing 'the spark' or something.
Imagine a situation where you like everything about a person and they are the most exciting thing going on in your life, but somehow you just don't feel that innate unstoppable attraction. You could go forward with them but you know at some point you'll be wondering why it's a decision and not a need. It's very uncomfortable to both want a relationship "on paper" and not have that gut feeling of necessity. "Creating a problem where it doesn't exist?" Yes and no, I guess. So maybe this is what her situation is. In which case it's best that his happened now and not later.
Or it may be difficult for her to get close to someone right now, possibly because of past issues.
If it bothers you a lot, or you think she might continue this after all, why not ask her to explain her feelings more? What you wrote in the blog that she said, it doesn't really say anything too much.
All the people responding talking about "crazy bitches" and "playing games", I'm sorry you guys have had bad experiences. If someone is willing to communicate (like it seems B is) there is no reason to believe they're crazy. Maybe complicated. The great thing is you can actually figure it out through words, amazing I know.
[edit] Oh I would also say, she might be scared of the concept of the deepening relationship and its commitments. She might think you need it to be a certain way and she is not sure she will be able to fulfill that expectation. (Since you mention before you guys have trouble talking about the relationship itself, but not everything else.) Maybe she would be comfortable and happy with you as a friend and lover, but not "partner". Are you willing to be in an open-ended situation like that? Maybe that would work for her and you two could still enjoy your connection to each other. I dunno if this is actually what's going on but it's possible.
|
On May 01 2014 04:30 EatThePath wrote:
[edit] Oh I would also say, she might be scared of the concept of the deepening relationship and its commitments. She might think you need it to be a certain way and she is not sure she will be able to fulfill that expectation. (Since you mention before you guys have trouble talking about the relationship itself, but not everything else.) Maybe she would be comfortable and happy with you as a friend and lover, but not "partner". Are you willing to be in an open-ended situation like that? Maybe that would work for her and you two could still enjoy your connection to each other. I dunno if this is actually what's going on but it's possible.
Yeah, I think that is the case, because today we were talking normal again. I guess she is just not sure about what are the extension of her feelings for me. I`m fine having an open-ended relationship. Having her as friend is better than not having her in my life at all.. I know how childish this may be, but it's true.
Anyway, while we were talking today I noticed that she does like me, as she was thrilled to go out again, but I said i had too many things to do and couldn't go out, she was not disappointed however. Also, i discovered that she was into another guy, but dude was being an asshole ignoring her.
I confronted her about this and she confirmed, but said that shes not into him anymore, as he does not care about her. That pretty much explains everything. She was into someone else and getting envolved with me must be tough.
Any tips on this? Do I just stay talking with her, is there something i can do? Or do I back off and let her do whatever she wants?
|
On May 01 2014 05:40 Gleen wrote:Show nested quote +On May 01 2014 04:30 EatThePath wrote:
[edit] Oh I would also say, she might be scared of the concept of the deepening relationship and its commitments. She might think you need it to be a certain way and she is not sure she will be able to fulfill that expectation. (Since you mention before you guys have trouble talking about the relationship itself, but not everything else.) Maybe she would be comfortable and happy with you as a friend and lover, but not "partner". Are you willing to be in an open-ended situation like that? Maybe that would work for her and you two could still enjoy your connection to each other. I dunno if this is actually what's going on but it's possible. Yeah, I think that is the case, because today we were talking normal again. I guess she is just not sure about what are the extension of her feelings for me. I`m fine having an open-ended relationship. Having her as friend is better than not having her in my life at all.. I know how childish this may be, but it's true. Anyway, while we were talking today I noticed that she does like me, as she was thrilled to go out again, but I said i had too many things to do and couldn't go out, she was not disappointed however. Also, i discovered that she was into another guy, but dude was being an asshole ignoring her. I confronted her about this and she confirmed, but said that shes not into him anymore, as he does not care about her. That pretty much explains everything. She was into someone else and getting envolved with me must be tough. Any tips on this? Do I just stay talking with her, is there something i can do? Or do I back off and let her do whatever she wants?
Imo it's not childish, it's a value-positive way of looking at your life. As for how to approach going after her, I don't have advice about that kind of thing. But I will say if she is a worthwhile person and you want more from knowing her (sex, time commitment, to feel valued/needed, whatever), you should state that clearly at some point. If she can't provide what you need, then move on. It's about you.
|
Women don't need to take vitamin D very often.
|
Why do people keep insisting that girls are turned off by nice guys? It's such bullshit. You can be both manly and genuinely nice. What most girls don't like is an effeminate little pussy. Know the difference.
|
On May 01 2014 11:57 B.I.G. wrote:
Why do people keep insisting that girls are turned off by nice guys? It's such bullshit. You can be both manly and genuinely nice. What most girls don't like is an effeminate little pussy. Know the difference.
Because "nice guy" is functionally synonymous with a guy that is supplicative, needy, and thinks that in order to get women he has to please them.
Yes, you can be nice and still be a confident, smart guy that knows how to flirt, lead, and generally be attractive to women. That is different than being a "Nice Guy" though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
