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Filter
Canada620 Posts
I've battled depression on and off for years upon years. I feel like many gamers have similar experiences and problems to me. Said I'd put this blog up on teamliquid for people to discuss their experiences with depression. Watch the video for more information.  | ||
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Mothra
United States1448 Posts
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HeeroFX
United States2704 Posts
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CutTheEnemy
Canada373 Posts
Catch 22 Depression is nasty because it makes it hard to do the very things that are your only hope of getting out of it. One of the only ways is to make some habits and push it every time you're able to. If depression makes it hard to eat right or exercise, well, the only way to get better is to eat better or exercise. When you find any window that you are able to work in, push for those things. "Chemical" factors Some days it takes everything you have to just pick your mood up a degree and god help you keep it there. Sometimes nothing is wrong. So, sometimes it's not something in your life. Sometimes it's just your brain being a douchebag. Specifically, I find these days hit most often after any days involving drugs or alcohol, but even after just long days that were really fun. It's like you drained your tank the previous day and it needs to refill. I find that starcraft in particular can lead to some shitty evenings. I can't explain why, since even watching it intently has a similar effect. I think it might be related to just draining mental resources, similar to willpower and mood, plus the "wasted hours" regret from getting nothing done. Antidepressants Imagine your mood as a floating fortress-spaceship (picturing battlefield 2142 here) that's protected by a forcefield and that anything bad that happens is a missile that hits it, draining it. It can hit and hurt you, or it can be soaked up by the shield, weakening the shield instead. Keeping floating also drains the same battery, although for most people the battery refills faster than it drains. An antidepressant is like a buffer that reinforces that shield, keeping things from getting to you or affecting your mood. That being said, you end up relying on it; you lose your positive thinking; you stop being able to recognize when something IS wrong; you can end up really anti-social because being alone doesn't get to you as much anymore; your thinking can become sluggish and your learning slow. You stop defending yourself and when you stop taking them, you're defenseless when something negative happens. Your coping strategies are gone. I'd only recommend them to someone who was so far past desperate that they are doomed otherwise. I think you can end up more doomed by seeking these drugs though. Life Factors Sometimes it is your life, but unlike other people, everything affects you a lot more strongly. Imagine your shields are extremely flimsy and you have a hard time getting off the ground in the first place. There's a few things in particular that have larger than expected effects: 1- Tidiness and orderliness . If your surroundings aren't orderly, specifically tidy, it drains you like your headlights drain your car battery overnight. 2- Productivity. If you don't get anything done that day, you're setting yourself up to get rekt in the afternoon or evening. Even if you're feeling a little bit down in the morning, accomplish a few hour-long goals. It's often the only way to feel better, and to prevent a horrible afternoon/evening. Getting nothing done is like having a flat tire, and you drain slowly all day until you're empty. 3- Release. Related to 1 and 2, you need to find productive ways to deal with negative feelings. The best way, when you can make it a habit, is probably cleaning the house or working on some project so that there will be some visible, tangible results. You can also call up friends, unless they're lame, in which case you need to get some new friends... There are negative ways to deal with your feelings too, such as sleep or anger or punching holes in walls, and they're actually not as effective at improving your mood. 4- Self talk. For some reason, what you say to yourself has an impact. You need to consciously develop the habit of thinking positively- or else. 5- Willpower and Habits. You can't actually control your emotions directly, you can just control your surroundings and your thoughts, but your surroundings and your thoughts all affect your emotions heavily. However, it spends your reservoir of willpower to make your surroundings helpful to you and to control your thoughts helpfully. Your only hope is to form good habits. Habits don't drain your willpower, so you can get "free actions" into your day that will set you up for a better chance of success. Specifically, grooming, tidying, productivity, and social habits can make an amazing difference. It takes an average of 66 days to train an average-difficulty habit, so be prepared. Congratulate yourself every repetition. Maybe check out Tiny Habits by Fogg? Also: use the mornings. You wake up with a fullish tank and it usually empties during the day. Spend the mornings doing the 1 or 2 most important things that day, period. After that, browse TL. Diet and Exercise Exercise generally has a better impact on wellbeing and mood than most antidepressants, according to research. Your diet makes a huge difference too, especially if your diet is making you groggy, which makes EVERYTHING else harder in your life. You can't afford for everything to be harder. Let me make it clearer: no exercise -> no hope. If you can only do one thing... Exercise. There's a lot more to be said, and a few dozen references I could add in, but I'm exhausted. If anyone wants more details, send me a (polite) pm, I can try to come up with the books/studies that this comes from  | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
I'm not saying depression is an interesting subject. Or that it's even possible to make the subject interesting to some people but it's just not interesting to me. | ||
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frosecold
Venezuela76 Posts
I used to be so very depressed not too long ago (like 5 months) and i didn't know why i used to play SC2 and DOTA2 almost all day, i used to wake up late in the afternoon, get 1 big meal per day or maybe 2, smoke some cigars and weed, play and watch replays, thats all! Now Im working on a really big company as mechanical engineer, monday to friday, from 7am to 5pm, its exhausting, it really is, i hate to wake up early, i hate to sleep early, BUT I DO, now i dont have almost any free time to spare, when i leave my job i work out like an hour, then i take a shower, talk to some friends on skype, facebook whatsapp and sleep early, oh i forgot to say, i moved out from where i lived, i know no one here, no friends no family no nothing, im completly alone, but it was my desition to do it, i needed to... As many people do, what i really want to say is: Too much spare time will lead unavoidably to depresion, BE PRODUCTIVE, in fact do something that not only makes YOU proud (i was diamond on SC2 and had a team on DOTA2, and i was proud of it, but its not something you can brag of in real life), make something that other people can admire about you (sorry about my bad english) It is hard | ||
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Mothra
United States1448 Posts
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
On February 14 2014 22:08 frosecold wrote: I find CutTheEnemy's post really really acurate, from my personal experience all he said is completly true, im gonna explain now. I used to be so very depressed not too long ago (like 5 months) and i didn't know why i used to play SC2 and DOTA2 almost all day, i used to wake up late in the afternoon, get 1 big meal per day or maybe 2, smoke some cigars and weed, play and watch replays, thats all! Now Im working on a really big company as mechanical engineer, monday to friday, from 7am to 5pm, its exhausting, it really is, i hate to wake up early, i hate to sleep early, BUT I DO, now i dont have almost any free time to spare, when i leave my job i work out like an hour, then i take a shower, talk to some friends on skype, facebook whatsapp and sleep early, oh i forgot to say, i moved out from where i lived, i know no one here, no friends no family no nothing, im completly alone, but it was my desition to do it, i needed to... As many people do, what i really want to say is: Too much spare time will lead unavoidably to depresion, BE PRODUCTIVE, in fact do something that not only makes YOU proud (i was diamond on SC2 and had a team on DOTA2, and i was proud of it, but its not something you can brag of in real life), make something that other people can admire about you (sorry about my bad english) It is hard This makes a lot of sense. Doing something you can be proud of when talking to friends is so damn important. | ||
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frosecold
Venezuela76 Posts
On February 15 2014 19:26 obesechicken13 wrote: This makes a lot of sense. Doing something you can be proud of when talking to friends is so damn important. well, it is.... wether you believe it or not | ||
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CutTheEnemy
Canada373 Posts
Really great post CutTheEnemy. Wish I could "sticky" it so more people can read it. It's always scary to make a serious post on a forum. I appreciate the kind responses It's too bad the thread hasn't gotten more replies overall though. Filter put himself out there for this. | ||
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