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It's a funny word. For most, it's a word that means something other than what it should.
Some people, will regret for others. It's just a reflex we have in society for some reason that if something bad happens for someone, you don't empathize with them, you regret for them. It's part of the reason why if you had a bad thing happen to you, you feel worse because as much as people saying sorry to you (even though they have nothing to apologize for) may help, you see them again later being fine and blissful. Someone saying sorry to you won't do anything, as the "sorry" just shows a brief feeling of grief but because nothing happened to the person delivering the sorry, so it is a hollow one.
When you regret over something for yourself, what do you feel? For most it's anger or a profound sadness. Not a sadness of missing a possession, but of insufficiency. Not able to accomplish something with in a deadline, but the deadline wasn't told to you. So you feel cheated. Most of the time the task was so simple, that you felt you should've been able to do it extremely easily.
But why were you not able to complete it? Are you incompetent for not being able to complete it? No of course not! Still then, why could you not do it? You can't get that answer no matter how hard you try. Humans not getting answers is pretty bad, we don't like being withheld information, so we either make it up ourselves or beat ourselves up over it in hopes that it we would find the answer somehow.
But obviously that doesn't work with, and it sticks with you until you die. It all comes down to moving on, and learning from the regret so you don't make another one.
Thanks for reading. I don't really know where I was trying to go, I just wanted to write something relevant to what was going on with me today.
 
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Regrets, I've had a few... but then again, too few to mention 
Well, to answer a little more seriously, I think that regrets feel very painful until you realise that people you really like also have their own regrets and you see that if you can forgive them, you might as well forgive yourself too. You get +humanity points when you can do that.
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I used to look back a lot and regret a lot of the decisions that I have done.
But now I think it is just a silly thing to do because without this experience of picking a poor decision, we won't know the other could had been a better one.
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Regrets can be tough, but really they're just a bruised ego, nothing too serious. In fact, if overcoming ego is part of what you want to do, regret can help rather than hurt. Of course it's fine to avoid regretful circumstances in the future, but after it's done, forget it. You're right, moving on is the best thing to do. Keep looking forward.
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I've regretted almost every choice I've made up to this point in my life, it's like practicing regret, eventually you get so good you don't care anymore.
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On January 12 2014 15:09 hp.Shell wrote:
Regrets can be tough, but really they're just a bruised ego, nothing too serious. In fact, if overcoming ego is part of what you want to do, regret can help rather than hurt. Of course it's fine to avoid regretful circumstances in the future, but after it's done, forget it. You're right, moving on is the best thing to do. Keep looking forward.
How about regretting losing a finger because you were not careful enough. That's a bit more than a bruised ego.
Or regretting not spending enough time with someone who is now deceased. Saying regret is nothing but a bruised ego is hopelessly naive.
For me true regret is wanting to punch yourself in the face for being a fool and being overcome with sorrow and frustration because you know there isn't a goddamn thing you can do to change it back.
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I regret a lot of things that I've done, every day. I think it's a combination of my low self-esteem, trying too hard to be a better person, and depression. But it kinda resulted in me being scared of being in social situations for a few years. I've just kinda had to learn that there isn't really much that I can do, and that i'm gonna mess up a lot. I have a hard time with disappointing people that are close to me, and due to current situations irl, it's been happening quite a lot. So I just try to have some fun and enjoy life, and not really care about it as much.
Message me if there's anything in specific that I can help you with dude.
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On January 12 2014 21:13 B.I.G. wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2014 15:09 hp.Shell wrote:
Regrets can be tough, but really they're just a bruised ego, nothing too serious. In fact, if overcoming ego is part of what you want to do, regret can help rather than hurt. Of course it's fine to avoid regretful circumstances in the future, but after it's done, forget it. You're right, moving on is the best thing to do. Keep looking forward. How about regretting losing a finger because you were not careful enough. That's a bit more than a bruised ego. Or regretting not spending enough time with someone who is now deceased. Saying regret is nothing but a bruised ego is hopelessly naive. For me true regret is wanting to punch yourself in the face for being a fool and being overcome with sorrow and frustration because you know there isn't a goddamn thing you can do to change it back.
You may not need that finger. True, it will make life a bit more difficult. You may type slower, might have ghost pains, etc but at least you have a conversation starter. It makes you interesting to some people. The finger is more than an ego, but the idea that you can't get by without it is based in vanity, an egotistical pursuit. There are ways around most limbs. I'm not saying you won't regret it.
People you can no longer spend time with, that's a different story. You will always wish you had spent more time with someone you can no longer spend time with. It's part of being human. Regret, however, is an emotion. Regretting that you didn't spend enough time together simply means that you feel bad about yourself because you hold yourself to a high standard when it comes to interpersonal relationships, and in your opinion, you fell short of that standard you set for yourself. That's very noble, to want more from your relationships. You can choose how you feel about your past relationship with that person, and you can come to acceptance after contemplation.
If you've had enough suffering, you can simply accept things as they are. Most suffering is self-created out of resistance to what is. It comes from the thought and the interpretation of what is. From the thought, and from how you think about the current situation, not from the current situation itself.
Suffering and regret can be a great teacher, and it can bring you great peace, and even joy. I have been foolish in my own relationships with family members who are now gone, and I have felt regret for not giving them enough of my time. But from this comes wisdom, and I can choose to be happy in my current relationships rather than sorrowful for my past follies.
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EPT
