So I just had to write further about my little charming coworker female. Not in detail, merely thoughts. I realized I had to mature in her eyes in order to survive. The way I yearned for her was destructive for both of us. The possessive nature perhaps should be repressed, or at least controlled. I finally bluntly expressed my love for her, she just said "eww" but somehow a weight lifted from my heart. The tension is gone. She realizes my feelings and accepts them, without ridiculing or wishing them away (maybe a little...). I can now speak freely because her reactions no longer bother me. What is she going to do, reject me again? I will merely take her challenge and create myself a better personality and a better body. Because of her but not in order to attain her. I will not be discouraged by the rejection of any version of me. Females are merely big children. They are made to roam the skies free, no strings attached. Leashing them is like leashing the wind. Their ideas and opinions matter not in the grand scheme of things, but the way they are created makes them more susceptible to the present. Making a female laugh is a trivial matter even for someone with such a pathetic personality as myself. If you turn things around, I'll be hard pressed to recall an instance where a female has made me laugh. Not that I care enough to oppose the gender roles, but it's ironic how many females want a humorous guy when they are as engaging as stones themselves. The only way their personalities creates joy through the barrier of the opposite sex is in the beauty of simplicity. When men say "I want to preserve her smile" is when they admire the ability to forget all past burdens and find fulfillment in the present. They excel at this for the cost of longevity. Since they live in the present they do not see life in context, hence the ridiculous age fear and inability to mature emotionally.
In girl blogs I often become annoyed at the plenty of fish in the sea analogy people use to ridicule love, obsession and devotion Yes you can fuck one slut every night until you become numb to the act of a female offering her body to you, even if it's through a weakened state. My adorable coworker girl used a similar proposion on me. She saw another girl we both know flirting with me briefly over the counter and told me to go for her instead. I would if I could... damnit. Damn it all. It honestly takes all my willpower to stop myself from craving her body. How could I stop myself from loving her altogether? Her pigtail arouses me. The way her adorable puppy eyes tiredly glances at me, the tender mix of her scent with that fruitlike perfume, the way she wiggles her ass while picking up things from the floor, her pouty lips moving slowly, the exotic skin color, the dry and chilly retorts at my appreciation, her proud way of carrying that tiny body around, those boy-like hips that somehow might be able to go through child labor. That soft yet stern voice desperately trying to sound as grown up. I can't let go of it all... I can't stop thinking of her.
Either you are some bizarre TL-blogs exhibitionist, you have been a troll all along, you are now trolling to cover up what was at first genuine, or you are mentally ill.
However I'm sure your life still isn't in a good situation if you are writing long fake girl blogs on a starcraft forum to get a rise out of people believing you, so I feel sorry for you either way. You should probably just realize that it is very odd to focus so intently on one girl that does not like you and which might be scared of you.
The scary part is that this is the most tame blog out of all, so far.
Your...philosophy is very odd. I know many women who I find absolutely engaging and purely on a friendship level. I don't know where you get this idea that everyone is one in the same.
Ah the joys of empathy deficiency. It's really quite remarkable how it affects a person, certainly more interesting than that vague "this is what serial killers have" impression people have of it. + Show Spoiler +
I'm aware there's good odds he's a troll, but he does more than just post blogs. Besides, he's pretty messed up emotionally. Odds aren't exactly small he would, for some reason, decide to become a TL-blogs exhibitionist.
EPT
