So I just had to write further about my little charming coworker female. Not in detail, merely thoughts. I realized I had to mature in her eyes in order to survive. The way I yearned for her was destructive for both of us. The possessive nature perhaps should be repressed, or at least controlled. I finally bluntly expressed my love for her, she just said "eww" but somehow a weight lifted from my heart. The tension is gone. She realizes my feelings and accepts them, without ridiculing or wishing them away (maybe a little...). I can now speak freely because her reactions no longer bother me. What is she going to do, reject me again? I will merely take her challenge and create myself a better personality and a better body. Because of her but not in order to attain her. I will not be discouraged by the rejection of any version of me. Females are merely big children. They are made to roam the skies free, no strings attached. Leashing them is like leashing the wind. Their ideas and opinions matter not in the grand scheme of things, but the way they are created makes them more susceptible to the present. Making a female laugh is a trivial matter even for someone with such a pathetic personality as myself. If you turn things around, I'll be hard pressed to recall an instance where a female has made me laugh. Not that I care enough to oppose the gender roles, but it's ironic how many females want a humorous guy when they are as engaging as stones themselves. The only way their personalities creates joy through the barrier of the opposite sex is in the beauty of simplicity. When men say "I want to preserve her smile" is when they admire the ability to forget all past burdens and find fulfillment in the present. They excel at this for the cost of longevity. Since they live in the present they do not see life in context, hence the ridiculous age fear and inability to mature emotionally.
In girl blogs I often become annoyed at the plenty of fish in the sea analogy people use to ridicule love, obsession and devotion Yes you can fuck one slut every night until you become numb to the act of a female offering her body to you, even if it's through a weakened state. My adorable coworker girl used a similar proposion on me. She saw another girl we both know flirting with me briefly over the counter and told me to go for her instead. I would if I could... damnit. Damn it all. It honestly takes all my willpower to stop myself from craving her body. How could I stop myself from loving her altogether? Her pigtail arouses me. The way her adorable puppy eyes tiredly glances at me, the tender mix of her scent with that fruitlike perfume, the way she wiggles her ass while picking up things from the floor, her pouty lips moving slowly, the exotic skin color, the dry and chilly retorts at my appreciation, her proud way of carrying that tiny body around, those boy-like hips that somehow might be able to go through child labor. That soft yet stern voice desperately trying to sound as grown up. I can't let go of it all... I can't stop thinking of her.
Either you are some bizarre TL-blogs exhibitionist, you have been a troll all along, you are now trolling to cover up what was at first genuine, or you are mentally ill.
However I'm sure your life still isn't in a good situation if you are writing long fake girl blogs on a starcraft forum to get a rise out of people believing you, so I feel sorry for you either way. You should probably just realize that it is very odd to focus so intently on one girl that does not like you and which might be scared of you.
The scary part is that this is the most tame blog out of all, so far.
Your...philosophy is very odd. I know many women who I find absolutely engaging and purely on a friendship level. I don't know where you get this idea that everyone is one in the same.
Ah the joys of empathy deficiency. It's really quite remarkable how it affects a person, certainly more interesting than that vague "this is what serial killers have" impression people have of it. + Show Spoiler +
I'm aware there's good odds he's a troll, but he does more than just post blogs. Besides, he's pretty messed up emotionally. Odds aren't exactly small he would, for some reason, decide to become a TL-blogs exhibitionist.
Do you know what would totally charm your female co-worker? Going to her house in the middle of the night and playing her a romantic song on a boombox. This will make any girl instantly fall in love with you. I know the perfect song that will really show her how you feel, and contains a message that is perfect for her:
On December 04 2013 13:40 Jerubaal wrote: Can we get a Shauni/NeuroticPsychosis collab?
I'm simultaneously shocked, humbled, anxious, and honored But seriously the worst possible time to bring up your misogynistic habits is when she is giving you a menacing look and holding a knife
On December 04 2013 13:40 Jerubaal wrote: Can we get a Shauni/NeuroticPsychosis collab?
Oddly enough, the guy named NeuroticPsychosis is probably too normal for that. Height thing or not, Shauni and his Shauniness is on a whole other level of weird.
Also I'd just like to congratulate everyone here for being fucking hilarious. I haven't laughed this hard in ages.
Shauni have you considered writing a novel or something? I heard edgy Scandinavian literature is all the rage these days, you should hop on the train. You write well enough :3
keep it up shauni! proud that you confessed despite all the anxiety you had. you probably felt good about yourself despite the outcome, and i do too
she seems to have rejected you as strongly as she possibly could. i know you hate this, but she can't and won't pursue anything with you.
i think it's okay for you to dwell on her for some more time and hold onto your feelings. just realize that at some point it will drag you down more than anything else. i have a problem where i'll build people up into an idealized entity and cling to that image, but i end up sorely betrayed and disappointed when the original doesn't compare. it's unhealthy and i've been doing my best to nip those thoughts in the bud as best i can. also i hnng'd pretty hard at your description of her tiny frame and boylike hips, maybe we have similar taste.
it probably doesn't feel this way, but you're the one that controls how much you think about her. it's okay for you to stew for a little bit, especially given how fully infatuated you are, but realize that you're the one chaining yourself to your obsession with her.
everyone here seems to make fun of you and think you're pretending but i believe you. thank you for sharing, do your best, and know that i'm cheering you on!
I think what you should do is get one of your fellow male coworkers to help you get her. It has to be someone weaker than you. If possible get some females to do so as well. See millions of years ago people lived in polygamous tribes where the Chief was the only one who fucked every girl in the tribe. How did he become chief? He killed anyone who wanted to be Chief instead. Now I'm not saying you have to kill your coworkers. You just have to get into a mock fight with him. John: "Did you use all my staples again Shauni?!" You: "Are you accusing me of stealing staples? I'm the office patriarch" John: "Oh no you aren't" Then get into a pretend fight, pretend to be losing for a while (make it convincing), then pretend to knock him out. At this point you've shown to your female coworker friend that you're strong and she'll be unable to resist her primal instincts. Be sure to also tout the strength of your immune system and your ability to hunt. Your target will see that you will produce offspring with her that will be the fittest. The next part is where you pay one of your other female coworkers to throw her arms around you and profess that they want to mate with you. This will indicate to your target coworker that you are valuable in the eyes of other females as a mate as well. The more female coworkers that do this, the better. Remember to feign commitment as well. She'll leave you at the first sign that your progeny will not be cared for with the amount of resources that they need.
On December 05 2013 00:56 PUPATREE wrote: keep it up shauni! proud that you confessed despite all the anxiety you had. you probably felt good about yourself despite the outcome, and i do too
she seems to have rejected you as strongly as she possibly could. i know you hate this, but she can't and won't pursue anything with you.
i think it's okay for you to dwell on her for some more time and hold onto your feelings. just realize that at some point it will drag you down more than anything else. i have a problem where i'll build people up into an idealized entity and cling to that image, but i end up sorely betrayed and disappointed when the original doesn't compare. it's unhealthy and i've been doing my best to nip those thoughts in the bud as best i can. also i hnng'd pretty hard at your description of her tiny frame and boylike hips, maybe we have similar taste.
it probably doesn't feel this way, but you're the one that controls how much you think about her. it's okay for you to stew for a little bit, especially given how fully infatuated you are, but realize that you're the one chaining yourself to your obsession with her.
everyone here seems to make fun of you and think you're pretending but i believe you. thank you for sharing, do your best, and know that i'm cheering you on!
Thank you for the first, maybe second serious reply. I think a lot of people ridicule me because they cannot change perspective or try to see things in another light. I also think some people exaggerate their imagination in order to see the worst case scenario. I must confess that I didn't do it in person, even though I've tried before it doesn't work since she can't take some things I say in person seriously. Also to the one correcting a word, I had to write it on my phone, so I didn't proofread. You can notice some sentences lack continuation or context too.
On December 05 2013 00:56 PUPATREE wrote: keep it up shauni! proud that you confessed despite all the anxiety you had. you probably felt good about yourself despite the outcome, and i do too
she seems to have rejected you as strongly as she possibly could. i know you hate this, but she can't and won't pursue anything with you.
i think it's okay for you to dwell on her for some more time and hold onto your feelings. just realize that at some point it will drag you down more than anything else. i have a problem where i'll build people up into an idealized entity and cling to that image, but i end up sorely betrayed and disappointed when the original doesn't compare. it's unhealthy and i've been doing my best to nip those thoughts in the bud as best i can. also i hnng'd pretty hard at your description of her tiny frame and boylike hips, maybe we have similar taste.
it probably doesn't feel this way, but you're the one that controls how much you think about her. it's okay for you to stew for a little bit, especially given how fully infatuated you are, but realize that you're the one chaining yourself to your obsession with her.
everyone here seems to make fun of you and think you're pretending but i believe you. thank you for sharing, do your best, and know that i'm cheering you on!
Thank you for the first, maybe second serious reply. I think a lot of people ridicule me because they cannot change perspective or try to see things in another light. I also think some people exaggerate their imagination in order to see the worst case scenario. I must confess that I didn't do it in person, even though I've tried before it doesn't work since she can't take some things I say in person seriously. Also to the one correcting a word, I had to write it on my phone, so I didn't proofread. You can notice some sentences lack continuation or context too.
character flaws aside from everyone posting in this thread, so your essentially saying your life would suck without her?
well if it matters to you i actually assume the best case scenario in all your blogs and don't read them as a series of troll posts. it's fun interpreting your blogs as comedy but they also have value when read as an earnest account of your reality. i think anyone could have developed the mindset you have, and it's not a specific failing of yours and you aren't a freak because you have trouble with women. most people have just been luckier - not because they were 'cooler' or 'smarter' or 'more confident', but because maybe they had a friend or two or experiences that showed them how girls worked early on, or maybe they were born with a less analytical nature/more naturally outgoing one, or maybe because they were born ruggedly handsome and with 10 inch cocks, or maybe because they had the super blind luck to have met some compatible girl friends or girlfriends at a younger age and snowballed on their confidence and learning experience and love (maybe even respect) of women. it's just an inconvenient type of luck to lack because, well, our male minds will flip out even at two parenthesis set up to look like breasts (. )( .)
i think once you get to the first lucky encounter you will know that it's possible and it'll relieve a heavy load (heh) from inside your soul. it sounds like you have a more constructive approach now from before and with the working out, i'm sure you'll do great. even if i had no faith in you as a person, it's just too unlikely given the terrible tastes of women that you won't find one that you like and that likes you back and will let you do dirty things to her or vice versa. as it is you even seem to be not-stupid and are a decent bw player to boot. well, keep us updated and good luck as usual =]
Terrible tastes? Do you mean I have terrible taste in women or do you mean they have terrible tastes in general?
Also to pupa: I don't think she rejected me very strongly. I assumed she wouldn't reply and instead lash out in person that I should stop messaging her. She saying eww was quite playful considering her personality. She doesn't try to get me to change and she doesn't avoid my company anymore. Like I wrote, she is at peace with my fondness which is fine to me.
The slut mentality is incorrect imo. Women are sexual beings as much as men are. Just because she's having more sex than you doesn't make her a slut. Do you think that if a girl had a chance to have sex with someone like, idk, Justin Timberlake, that she would care how many women he's slept with? Probably not.
Stop labeling people, things, thoughts, actions. Stop analyzing them. Some meditators understand that some suffering will come if you judge something. So when you have a thought for example, don't judge it. This is a very difficult thing to stop doing. Even when you're aware that your mind automatically judges things and places things into categories, it's difficult to stop or maintain awareness that it is indeed happening.
Let's say you go to the store and there's 10 people in line ahead of you. What's your first thought, a judgement?
Many people have this problem but it is one of the fundamental things you should try to stop doing in order to feel better about things.
I can't believe a girl has never made you laugh; that can't be true. Loosen up a little.
On December 05 2013 09:04 hp.Shell wrote: The slut mentality is incorrect imo. Women are sexual beings as much as men are. Just because she's having more sex than you doesn't make her a slut. Do you think that if a girl had a chance to have sex with someone like, idk, Justin Timberlake, that she would care how many women he's slept with? Probably not.
Stop labeling people, things, thoughts, actions. Stop analyzing them. Some meditators understand that some suffering will come if you judge something. So when you have a thought for example, don't judge it. This is a very difficult thing to stop doing. Even when you're aware that your mind automatically judges things and places things into categories, it's difficult to stop or maintain awareness that it is indeed happening.
Let's say you go to the store and there's 10 people in line ahead of you. What's your first thought, a judgement?
Many people have this problem but it is one of the fundamental things you should try to stop doing in order to feel better about things.
I can't believe a girl has never made you laugh; that can't be true. Loosen up a little.
You are the one who should loosen up, getting all preachy over the usage of one word. I didn't even call her a slut. Also I don't judge pepole. I observe and draw conclusions. I don't think less of female sluts than other people.
On December 05 2013 09:04 hp.Shell wrote: The slut mentality is incorrect imo. Women are sexual beings as much as men are. Just because she's having more sex than you doesn't make her a slut. Do you think that if a girl had a chance to have sex with someone like, idk, Justin Timberlake, that she would care how many women he's slept with? Probably not.
Stop labeling people, things, thoughts, actions. Stop analyzing them. Some meditators understand that some suffering will come if you judge something. So when you have a thought for example, don't judge it. This is a very difficult thing to stop doing. Even when you're aware that your mind automatically judges things and places things into categories, it's difficult to stop or maintain awareness that it is indeed happening.
Let's say you go to the store and there's 10 people in line ahead of you. What's your first thought, a judgement?
Many people have this problem but it is one of the fundamental things you should try to stop doing in order to feel better about things.
I can't believe a girl has never made you laugh; that can't be true. Loosen up a little.
You are the one who should loosen up, getting all preachy over the usage of one word. I didn't even call her a slut. Also I don't judge pepole. I observe and draw conclusions. I don't think less of female sluts than other people.
I'm also trying to make you aware of this idea that the mind is always judging things automatically. It's a bit difficult to explain the concept. I'm not sure you understood that's what I was trying to get across to you; if you did, then good.
On December 05 2013 09:04 hp.Shell wrote: The slut mentality is incorrect imo. Women are sexual beings as much as men are. Just because she's having more sex than you doesn't make her a slut. Do you think that if a girl had a chance to have sex with someone like, idk, Justin Timberlake, that she would care how many women he's slept with? Probably not.
Stop labeling people, things, thoughts, actions. Stop analyzing them. Some meditators understand that some suffering will come if you judge something. So when you have a thought for example, don't judge it. This is a very difficult thing to stop doing. Even when you're aware that your mind automatically judges things and places things into categories, it's difficult to stop or maintain awareness that it is indeed happening.
Let's say you go to the store and there's 10 people in line ahead of you. What's your first thought, a judgement?
Many people have this problem but it is one of the fundamental things you should try to stop doing in order to feel better about things.
I can't believe a girl has never made you laugh; that can't be true. Loosen up a little.
You are the one who should loosen up, getting all preachy over the usage of one word. I didn't even call her a slut. Also I don't judge pepole. I observe and draw conclusions. I don't think less of female sluts than other people.
Pretty sure that's what judging is - observing and forming a conclusion. Can't tell if this guy is a master troll or not - next level shit.
Not that I care enough to oppose the gender roles, but it's ironic how many females want a humorous guy when they are as engaging as stones themselves.
LOL
Whether you're trolling or not, I think my main piece of advice for you would be that you probably need to have more social engagements with women, in general. Not just brief encounters with acquaintances, but ones where you actually get to know a bit about them (maybe join a board game club and play good two-player games like twilight-struggle [love this game!] where other males won't fully take the spotlight?); I think once you start getting to meet more women that could be potential mates, your infatuation with this particular one will decrease considerably. And if there's one thing that women love/hate, it's a guy with a girlfriend, so I'm guessing that might even make your chances with your co-worker go from minimal to somewhat-likely!
Very well written blog Shauni. You should honestly consider writing a novel or something. I can only think of two pieces of advice lol. First, I think you should take it easy. You've confessed to her and based on what you wrote, she rejected you. It's not a big deal. Just keep working along side her as you are atm and stay as friends. You already put out your feelings for her so she knows them. If in the future, she changes her mind, that's great but if she wants to stay friends, that's great as well. Eventually, you'll work through your feelings as time passes and start seeing her as a friend as well. Just going to take sometime. Other piece of advice that comes to mind is that someone mentioned that you like anime or something in this thread. Maybe join an anime club or other clubs around where you live. You'll meet more people and you might find someone who you like and they like you as well.
On December 06 2013 12:36 FractalsOnFire wrote: So reading through the thread, people are confusing me. Is Shauni a troll or is he seriously like this?
I feel that the blog is sincere and he wants advice but the way he writes so eloquently makes it seem like a troll. At least, that's my feeling lol.
I actually thought he was a troll entering this thread. I don't know why I made the association. His previous threads aren't really trolly. They seem serious. It must have been group mentality where someone calls him a troll, then a few more do, and then I just associate "Shauni = troll"
EPT
![[image loading]](http://www.undertheradarmag.com/uploads/article_images/Jess_Weixler.jpg)
, :/, o.o, O.o, O.O, D:, and that was just reading the comments lol.
- next level shit.
