EPTThe last two months have been pretty rough. Without going into too many details, I needed surgery which not only exhausted me physically, but was emotionally stressful as well. Ever since I knew that I needed surgery I became more and more emotionally unstable. Totally normal every day interactions stressed me out and unbalanced me heavily. I lost my excitment for everything, I don’t enjoy anything anymore. I was doing great at losing weight, but had quite some relapses recently. Everything is getting to me, everything is getting too much.
Shit is about to get real, and I really don’t want to go down that road again. Not now, after I got my life somewhat back in order after the last time. Not ever.
What helped me the last time was (apart from medication of course) to go back to the basics. It helped me to get stuff into perspective, to get rid of a lot of clutter in my mind. For a while, just focus on one day after the other. Just do a few simple things. Return to what I love in life. Relearn to “love the process”.
So come monday, all the way through to September 1st, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Just five weeks of “Just Do It”. One day after the other. Without any pressures.
I’m telling you this because it feels good to share this with someone, anyone. I’m going to occasionally deliver updates as well. It feels good to share this, it lessens the feeling of being all alone with nowhere to turn.
Here is what I do:
- I had to stop working out after surgery, so I start again. Hitting the gym four times a week.
- Work, of course. Haven’t been there for almost two months.
- Eat right. Getting back into ketosis, eating ~1300 (that’s about a 500 kcal deficit, I’m a small person) kcal a day. Salad for lunch, meat for dinner.
- Drink enough. I used to drink 3+ liters a day, need to get back to that especially in this heat.
- Read. A lot. Non-fiction though. I have a giant pile of books lying around. Absorbing knowledge used to be one of my biggest pleasures.
- Write. Anything. Daily.
Here is what I’m not going to do:
- Excessive procrastinating. No more coming home from work and playing LoL six hours straight and repeat daily. I need to get my TV shows in though, Suits just started!
- Fapping. After surgery I didn’t fap for about two weeks, and I somewhat liked the personality changes it caused.
- Escape into imagination. I need to be grounded firmly in the here and now. So no fiction books, no immersive games. Only exception: TV shows.
- Weighing myself. Kilos on a scale are like APM: They are indicative of how well you are doing, but not the end goal. The end goal is to look awesome. I’ll take pictures later tonight, and compare them with pictures in a month. Any progress is progress. The scale fucked me up more than once, leading to frustrated eating binges.
The end result doesn’t matter on a day-to-day basis. Just showing up, doing stuff.
It’s just a for a month, after all.
