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You know it's weird, after having a really bad experience with a girl, one where I knew beforehand that it was a bad idea, I always come out thinking, "Well I knew it was a bad idea, and I did it anyway, but now I know for sure, never date X".
And then something pops up and my brain is like "Uh..remember last time? Don't worry old friend I'll send you some memories that'll steer you in the right direction."
And then Mr Penis comes into play and he's like," Ha Ha! Brain may be smart, but he can't make you feel as good as I can. We both know you're gonna listen to me anyway, so just save us all some time and date this girl already."
Recently, four months ago, I moved into a new apartment. And when I did, my landlady introduced me to her granddaughter. She was cute enough, but I had a lot going on and didn't pay her much attention.
Oh little side note, if some girl is interested in you and you ignore her, it usually turns her on like crazy. Unless you push it too far, then she will hate your guts forever.
So I would occasionally run into her at the mailboxes, or in the elevator and we would do some small chat and that would be it. And after a number of these small encounters, I just noticed her. I mean, she was always cute, but I never really took notice. We were talking in the elevator one day, and she tilted her head and smiled at me, and suddenly I realized I was hooked.
Anyway, we started hanging out more, and doing stuff together, mostly PG stuff. Life was pretty good. I was taking things really slow, making sure not to rush into anything, especially with someone in the same building.
Then like, literally 2 hours ago, we met in the underground parking garage. And she tells me that she has to move because her roommate is getting kicked out for dealing drugs in the parking lot.
And someone, it couldn't have been me 'cause I'm not that stupid, tells her, "Hey I live alone in a two bed two bath, why don't you move in with me!"
She gets really excited, and super relieved 'cause now she won't have to live with her aunt blah blah blah and all that crap.
We had plans to go see a movie tomorrow night, and now in addition to that we're going to hammer out a rental agreement in the morning.
So in one brief lapse of judgement, I went from doing the smart responsible thing, to taking things WAY too far.
I think the best thing to do right now would be to either tell her I've changed my mind (bye bye possible romantic anything) or to allow her to move in and bury any and all feelings for her.
OR there's probably some story out there that exists of two people who went through the exact same experience and now they're the happiest couple in the world! Right? Right?
Oh God, I'm an idiot.
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Osaka27105 Posts
Just start dealing drugs.
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Why not just allow her to be a roommate for a while? Do not let it get weird. Show interest actively in other women. If she gets crazy you can kick her out. If she is chill maybe you can just be her friend/Wingwoman/GirlBro. If you realize after a while of not being together you can start later. Personally think it is the best decision.
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Sounds like free rent money, congrats you're now several hundred dollars richer each month
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Tell her that she can be either your love interest or your roommate, not both.
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On July 07 2013 17:16 n.DieJokes wrote: Sounds like free rent money, congrats you're now several hundred dollars richer each month not if he gets a girlfriend out of it...
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I'd definitely let her know tomorrow morning, before you talk about the rental agreement, that you're attracted to her. See what she thinks.
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Friends...... with benefits? :p
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Let me make it simple to you:
You push things forward and girl doubts/refuses/objects ---> you are going too fast. You push things forward and girl gleefully accepts ---> you're doing well.
Sorry, but it seems that you have second thoughts because your brain is trying hard to justify plan B - to act like a pussy.
Resist it and don't overthink and you'll be okay.
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Kyrgyz Republic1462 Posts
Backing out from an offer like that (that was obviously a relief for her) is really as dickish as it gets. Man up and stand by your word. What's the problem with sharing a flat with a cute girl for a while? It's not like you HAVE to make it romantic.
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I moved in to a flat and my now girlfriend was living there. Just go for it man.
I have to tell you, living with your girlfriend has been (for me) the most awesome thing ever. It's essentially constantly non-PG stuff and loads of fun, as well as having her there for anything. It's someone to talk to, have fun with, and, fucks' sake, it's your girlfriend.
Move in and have fun. If it doesn't work out, you haven't lost anything.
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Sounds awesome to me, just roll with the punches bro.
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I haven't ever consciously committed to living with someone that I haven't known for much longer than you in your OP but you should be able to know rather quickly whether or not things will work out. Shouldn't stress over it, it'll be a new experience for you and if shit hits the fan you find yourself a new roommate or just live by yourself.
You find yourself in a fantastic position for this considering that you have previously been able to afford renting the apt by yourself and have no need of her financial support to make rent on your own. I think you do need to define your relationship though, is she your girlfriend or not?
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Korea (South)11232 Posts
IF you let her move in then do a cleaning plan/schedule. Its the most important thing if you share yuor room
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I think penis has already made your decision for you and locked away brain in a cage.
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You could say to her that you probably went a bit fast with offering to let her move in. Tell her that you're not sure if you'd make good roommates and you might not get along. Tell her that she can stay with you rent-free for a month to see if things go well. If not, she can go find her own place with no hard feelings.
If she asks why you might not get along, tell her that you have a lot of girls over and she might not approve. Also tell her that you like to walk around naked.
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LOL dude, you don't know her even one bit, she could be into really crazy stuff like midget scat porn or something like that, you must be crazy to just let her move in.
She was in a relationship (I assume they had some kind of sexual thing going) with a drug dealer and chances are that she is a bit crazy herself (would be ok) or that she has over issues (would be bad).
Please let her move in and keep us updated on crazy shit that might go down in the future,
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This certainly has potential for exciting developments haha. Fuck it, you're young, just go ahead with it and whatever happens happens. It could work out nicely.
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This could be the best accident you've ever made in your life...or the worst.
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On July 08 2013 00:37 Epishade wrote: This could be the best accident you've ever made in your life...or the worst. This, in all likelihood, will not be the worst thing you ever do--but it could be really fucking bad.
But it could also actually be the best thing so the upside is bigger than the downside.
edit: just know we're all living vicariously through you. I'm living apart from my gf right now and it sucks really badly and I need to hear exciting tales of romance
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