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My Time Among the Pokers

Blogs > SirJolt
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SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
June 06 2013 15:02 GMT
#1
What if I told you that the world you inhabit is not nearly as lonely as it might seem.

What if I told you that there were an infinite number of parallel earths, each subtly different from the last.

What if I told you that there were places in which the membrane between those worlds had drawn so thin that events on their side could influence events on ours, places where their world bleeds into ours.

What if I told you that you could do more than just look on the effects of this strange pairing, but you could actually go there. Well, that's stretching the truth slightly. Of course you can't go there, that would be preposterous. There's no knowing if their air is even breathable to us. No, you'd probably be wrenched inside out by the new gravity alone...

However, thanks to new scientific developments, you can post on their internet.

[image loading]
It’s Liquid, but not as we know it...


Under the alien sun of the place that I will refer to from now on as Earth B, you will find LiquidPoker, a website from another time and another place. When you look on it, you will notice your eyes begin to hurt; don’t look away. You might think that this pain is because of the harsh glare and bright colours, but you would be mistaken. That stinging sensation is your eyes attempting to adjust to light from another earth. For those of you sensitive to its strange emanations, protective eyewear might be necessary.

Your brain will try constantly to wrest your eyes away from the display, to force your mouse to click elsewhere and stop you from your researches into this strange place. If you can force yourself to ignore that compulsion, you’ll find that there is just as much history and treasure in their strange mirror world as we have to ours. Their lives are every bit as real as our own, but they have their own Earth B twists.

[image loading]


I don’t doubt at all that it’s possible to dig in and find these gems for yourself, but to do so would take months, maybe years. For residents of Earth A, the mind cannot adapt easily to this foreign place. Your fragile, human eyes weren’t made for prolonged exposure. Instead, you must seek out those strange, liminal beings who are equally capable of navigating both worlds. If you knew the signs, you could find them easily; they have been marked by their existence between the worlds.

I have to thank Rekrul and Hurricane for helping me when I felt as though I could proceed no further, when I was lost in the tangled knots of topics I couldn’t understand and endless lists of pokey hands. It is a harrowing experience, to see that every username is accompanied by an icon you cannot decipher. The normal rules do not apply, but it’s more than that.

[image loading]


Thanks to my guides, my adventures were not the aimless rambling they might otherwise have been. I was directed to visit some of LiquidPoker’s strangest blogs and topics. These posts give some insight into the logic of another world, a forbidden place where men fear to tread.

There are even occasional steps into the profoundly insightful. Of all the LiquidPoker users I was directed to pay attention to, the enigmatic ByrneSam is among the most interesting. You’ve already seen the first sample of his work above, but his sharp mind has applied itself to many problems:


[image loading]
Just as we ruminate on the nuances of Starcraft, so does he on the oddities of poker...


[image loading]
Are we really so different, underneath it all?


Strangest still is that moment when, amid all the weirdness, you find something you recognise. After so long away from the shores of our own reality, my mind seizes on the slightest hint of familiarity. I am unable to look away. I feel at home for the first time since all of this began. All there is left to me is Rekrul's face, bobbling on top of Rick Astley's body...

This one is a quote, so that it would animate:

On October 09 2007 07:04 byrnesam wrote:
hes no stranger to love

[image loading]


It’s not all blithe nonsense though. There are some very serious considerations of life on Earth B and how to engage with a world fraught by cataclysms. When faced with the injustices of war, famine, and pestilence, most of us just try to ignore the worst things about life on earth. There are a precious few who have found someone to blame though, and if there’s one thing we can learn from LiquidPoker it’s the depths to which those filthy lizardmen (homo sapiens saurus):

[image loading]
Now that I think about it, there is a very real possibility that their earth was conquered by a race of malignant reptilemen...



Continuing the Research:
If you notice that my posting has fallen off, assume that I am to be found there. Indeed, I encourage everyone to sign up and enjoy the site for themselves. I haven’t yet received any PMs to my Liquid Poker inbox, so if anyone wants to make me feel more comfortable then a message or two would be very much appreciated.

To those of you intrepid few who dare to venture forth... godspeed.

****
Moderator@SirJolt
PassiveAce
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States18076 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-06 15:13:05
June 06 2013 15:08 GMT
#2
I regularly read liquid poker blogs.
Its like almost the same community but everyone has way more money then me.
Floofy blogs are usually pretty funny.

Lots of pics of semi-nude women too.
Its kind of like bizzaro-teamliquid.
5stars ofc love your writing sirjolt
Call me Marge Simpson cuz I love you homie
Sayle
Profile Joined October 2010
United Kingdom3685 Posts
June 06 2013 15:14 GMT
#3
Do not linger there too long Jolt, lest you never return.
shz
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Germany2687 Posts
June 06 2013 15:14 GMT
#4
I wonder if their admins look like ours, but with evil mustaches.
Liquipedia
slowbacontron
Profile Joined October 2012
United States7722 Posts
June 06 2013 15:24 GMT
#5
Woah, what a weird world. Strange that they never bothered to change the background color to something quieter, especially considering the now trademark Liquid Blue. Yellow is a...different kind of liquid.
jjakji fan
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
June 06 2013 15:27 GMT
#6
I miss the time I spent on Earth A with my good pal SirJolt.

It's hard being seperated for so long, while he visits Earth B....I fear our relationship may never be the same.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
Incze
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Romania2058 Posts
June 06 2013 15:40 GMT
#7
I think I've just discovered a comedy goldmine.
Thanks!
Religion: Buckethead
hyunGGe
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States108 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-06 16:21:36
June 06 2013 16:15 GMT
#8
http://totmidian.liquidpoker.net/

this is really funny in a way. in the first blog I click i see some familiar faces. this is a blog of one of the poker players. and just look under the april section and you see ... dApollo! and then other players: sea, huk, haypro and others. example:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


pretty awesome beans

i guess these parallel universes are quite connected too by the power of nerd-ballers or something.

Jugem-Jugem Shit-Tossing The Life Of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear Balmung Fezalion Isaac Schneider 1/3True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish This Is a Different Dog
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
June 06 2013 16:20 GMT
#9
I've been to that site a few times, the only issue is I'm afraid of being as chobo at poker as I am at sc ;_;.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Trozz
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3454 Posts
June 06 2013 16:22 GMT
#10
Strange parallel world.
Are grrr and elky in there?
My eyes can't adjust.
A build is not a guess, an estimation or a hunch, a feeling, or a foolish intuition. A build is a dependable, unwavering, unarguably accurate, portrayer of your ambition.
Binky1842
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
United States2599 Posts
June 06 2013 16:56 GMT
#11
floofy.. ohman oh man.
bringin me back
"The zoo could not confirm that Binky was the attacker, but only Binky had blood on his face following the incident"
a_flayer
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Netherlands2826 Posts
June 06 2013 17:11 GMT
#12
Read the first post and immediately went to google.

Now, 5 minutes later, I am here to comment on this post.
When you came along so righteous with a new national hate, so convincing is the ardor of war and of men, it's harder to breathe than to believe you're a friend. The wars at home, the wars abroad, all soaked in blood and lies and fraud.
itsjustatank
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Hong Kong9153 Posts
June 06 2013 17:21 GMT
#13
[image loading]


LOL
Photographer"nosotros estamos backamos" - setsuko
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-06 17:31:26
June 06 2013 17:30 GMT
#14
Liquid poker is great,best thread I read was this thing like you have a certain amount of points and you need to decide what to spend it on for being locked in the basement or something like that for a certain amount of years,at the end you get like 10 milion or something and you can halve the prize to be able to get more points for stuff.God damn it I cant find it now but if someone digs hard enough im sure you can find it
Cackle™
RoninShogun
Profile Joined November 2010
United States315 Posts
June 06 2013 17:37 GMT
#15
Read the first few lines in my head with Manifesto narrating
Artosis: Yeah I was gonna probe rush but someone did that yesterday
Clazziquai10
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Singapore1949 Posts
June 06 2013 17:59 GMT
#16
I never knew LiquidPoker existed until now. And now I'm hooked.
kollin
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom8380 Posts
June 06 2013 18:45 GMT
#17
On June 07 2013 02:21 itsjustatank wrote:
Show nested quote +
[image loading]


LOL

ahahahahaha
pebble444
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Italy2497 Posts
June 06 2013 18:56 GMT
#18
And not a single poker hand was played that day
"Awaken my Child, and embrace the Glory that is your Birthright"
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
June 06 2013 20:03 GMT
#19
Is there a compilation of best threads? I think we have something like that over here..
This is our town, scrub
jalstar
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States8198 Posts
June 06 2013 20:22 GMT
#20
On June 07 2013 00:14 shz wrote:
I wonder if their admins look like ours, but with evil mustaches.


there's one mod there who's a huge conspiracy theorist, it was somewhat bizarre.
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