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Alright, so I've been talking to a lot of people about this recently and this gnawing feeling in my gut won't leave me alone. It's fucking itching, unrelenting mistrust. Without trust, a relationship just won't work. I've given up on much my entire life, so I'm proving to myself that I'll do anything I can to make this work. So here's the deal.
I've been dating my girlfriend (let's call her Michelle) for about 4 months now. I broke up with her about a month ago and we got back together a few days later. She lives about 4 hours away and I don't get to see her often so I had it in my mind that it was the long distance. It turns out that I was skyping her every day on her schedule, waking up every morning, with that feeling of obligation, to skype her in the evening. I was whipped and didn't even know it. Anyway, lack of communication.
We decided to give it another shot. However, when I broke up with her, she told me she lied to me about one thing. Her story changed from having a few boyfriends (she's 19), to having 12 boyfriends, cheating on EVERY SINGLE ONE, and worse, moving on with the guy she cheated with. Straight up bunny hopping. Oh yeah, turns out she was dating a guy when she hooked up with me. So I guess I'm glad she told me, but now I have to deal with this mistrust. I was easily able to give her the benefit of the doubt before she disclosed this information to me, but now...heh. I can't trust her, I just can't. Not yet at least.
It's funny, it's only when you are faced with trials and hardships do you ever realize whether or not you can trust someone. I've told her about my trust issues and how important it is that she does everything she can to let me know that she cares and wants to be in this relationship. We planned on skyping tonight at 10:30. She goes to bed every night, consistently, at 12:00 to 12:30. She blew me off at 10:30 and said that her eating was irregular today and that she was really tired and needed to sleep. This just adds to my feelings of mistrust when I need her to be there the most.
Obviously she has commitment issues, is probably afraid of being single, and probably got into our relationship for the wrong reasons. But that doesn't mean that we don't have a future together. And if it's meant to be, it shall be, and I'll be damned sure to try my best to make it work. Problem is, now that the going is tough, I don't see her stepping up to the plate.
This is a stringy post and there's a lot I left out. If any of you are willing to help me, you can ask me what you think I left out, questions that I need to ask myself, or anything else that has relevance to my problem. I'm fucking torn up right now and I'm begging for some answers. Thanks.
EDIT: I broke up with her. Turns out facebook said she was online 3 hours after she said she was falling asleep. Didn't respond to any of my important texts. I skype her and she immediately logs off. Then I call her and she eventually calls back and says she was sleeping. She hangs up and says that she can't talk because her roommate is asleep. Are you fucking kidding? IF YOU GAVE A SINGLE FUCK. ONE SOLITARY FUCK. You would have walked outside to talk to me. Zero sacrifice and effort. You guys were right. I put her commitment to the test and she didn't show up.
 
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Didn't read. Dump her.
Edit: Read. Dump her.
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On April 23 2013 13:23 hp.Shell wrote:
Didn't read. Dump her.
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Did she cheat on the last guy with you? Because if she did, 100% hasn't changed her ways.
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United States10337 Posts
On April 23 2013 13:23 -Kaiser- wrote:
but srsly. dumb her.
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I made her aware of her commitment issues and told me she never thought of it like that. She said she wants to prove it to herself and I want to believe her. But I feel like serial cheating is just a symptom of an underlying problem. Is there nothing I can do?
Lol at all the responses so far.
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On April 23 2013 13:23 -Kaiser- wrote:
There's plenty of great women out there who aren't cheaters. Why date someone who shows no respect or caring for the feelings of others?
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Dump her. :/
Nothing wrong with her having 12 bfs imo, but goddamn is there something wrong with cheating on every single one of them.
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Is there nothing I can do?
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On April 23 2013 13:32 beachbeachy wrote:
Is there nothing I can do?
You can give her a chance. Does she deserve one? Only you will know the answer to that question.
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She's 19, and during your relationship break went out with 12 guys. Lol,unless you're into the whole cuckold thing, dump her ass.
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She's not worth your time beachbeachy. Why take drama or stress when you can just forget? The longer it takes you to dump her the more time you'll spend being miserable until you do. Text dump her. It's 'kay. Do it. 5. 4. 3. Say it. Do it. DO IT NOW!
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19 years old, 12 boyfriends, all cheated on? You kidding me? It's going to be tough, but you have to leave her. I'm sorry.
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lol I'm kinda drunk atm and reading this make me laugh my ass off hahahaha
seriously tho its so funny that you can still put up with her.
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If you don't want open relationship with that, don't have relationship with that.
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I think she is going for some sort of record, demote her to fuck buddy. If you can't, dump her.
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Northern Ireland26375 Posts
Dump.
Not for her sexual shenanigans, which to me are a symptom rather than the illness. I don't wish to pseudo-psych by any means, just my experience with any girl remotely similar to your gf hints of issues that are bubbling under that aren't limited simply to fidelity. The girl mentioned in the OP has 'stats' tbh that are far 'worse' than even the most infamous of any of my acquaintainces, anyone I have ever met.
Do it. Sorry to be blunt.
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Trust me once a cheater always a cheater. Dump her before you get any more attached to her beacuse it'll just hurt more when she does cheat on you.
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She cheats on every single boyfriend she has. You wont be any different because:
She was in a relationship with someone else before she got with you, thats a relationship built on mistrust and lies.
Dump her.
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19 and youre clinging onto someone you've only been with for four months and has commitment issues a huge boyfriend past?
Immature girl, dump her and move on, you're young and you can find someone closer.
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EPT
