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Active: 592 users

I'm "retiring" from competitive Starcraft.

Blogs > Pokebunny
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Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-15 05:20:27
April 15 2013 05:10 GMT
#1
Dear friends, family, Liquidians, gamers, and citizens of Aiur,

It's time for me to say something that has been a long time coming. I am no longer going to consider myself a professional or semi-professional (or whatever the hell you want to call it) Starcraft player.

I put "retiring" in quotes for two reasons;

1) I don't plan to move completely away from the Starcraft scene. I still plan to be involved in any way I can, and I love Starcraft to death - I could never consider myself anything but a Starcraft gamer at heart. I still plan to write for TL, post on the forums, maybe cast the occasional online event if I get the chance, and be involved in any way I can. Also, I'll still play at a fairly high level, and I wouldn't rule out a return should the right motivation arise.

2) I don't really consider what I've done to have been a "career", so I guess I can't technically retire from it.

Anyway, this is something that I have long considered for months, and I'd just like to put my thoughts out there after a bout of midnight thoughtfulness and inspiration to write a bit. This blog is pretty much entirely gonna be about me, so if you're not interested in hearing what I have to say, well, probably not for you.

I understand to most of you in the Starcraft community this will not be a big deal to you, a surprise, or even anything of note. But to me, who has spent my whole life playing this game and who finally saw a dream pretty much come true, it's pretty meaningful. So I ask that whatever you feelings may be about me, my level of notoriety, my level of play, be set aside a bit.

Starcraft has been something that has defined my life for the past two and a half years, give or take. Being a Starcraft player was by far the most noteworthy thing I had going in my life. I didn't have a vibrant social life (I wasn't a loner but I didn't exactly spend a ton of time with my friends), I didn't do a whole lot of extracurricular activities throughout my high school years, and I didn't have a whole lot else that I was proud of about myself. You might think it kind of funny, but to a 15-17 year old kid, being able to make money playing a computer game was definitely the most exciting part of my life. I had loved Starcraft since I was a child (more on that), and I was able to meet tons of amazing people throughout my time in Starcraft. I don't have many regrets from my Starcraft experience, and although my high school life was not exactly what I might have wanted it to be, I still consider it very much to be time well spent. I learned a lot, made some money, grew in a lot of ways I didn't expect, and had something that I could be proud of.

There are a few reasons, though, that I've decided to call an end to my dedication to Starcraft. While this really isn't actually going to be a massive difference in how I spend my time, mentally it is an important turning point for me to put this out there. In recent months, I've wrestled with the idea in my head quite a bit, and a few things have been important considerations to me.

As I previously mentioned, Starcraft has been something that has defined me. Over the course of my life, I've had a bad habit of getting half decent at something, but then stopping when I actually had to begin to put the work in to reach a higher level. Chess and baseball were two of such activities and my adolescence. I didn't want this to happen again with Starcraft, the game I loved, so I made sure I gave it a fair shot and all my effort. I can't say I'm entirely satisfied with what I've accomplished, but I've reached a point where I can definitely say I'm satisfied with what I've done. I've been really hesitant to actually move on from Starcraft partially because I felt like there was really nothing else interesting about me as a person. I didn't have a lot else going on in my life, and I felt like if I threw away Starcraft, I would be letting myself wallow away into unproductivity and wasted time. Some people tell me that it's okay and that most people really don't do anything of worth in their high school years, but to me, I do like to have a little bit of feeling of self-accomplishment in some sense. At this point, I'm ready to take that chance and move on, and embrace new challenges with open arms. In recent months I've discovered how much I really enjoy singing and perhaps even acting, and I'm looking to get more involved in those activities now and in college next year. I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life yet (not singing or acting, but they're fun!) and I'm looking forward to trying new things and having great new experiences. I'm still going to consider gaming and Starcraft a big part of myself, and I definitely plan to continue to contribute to the community in various ways in the future. I definitely also plan to be more socially active in the future and make sure I surround myself with lots of great people and always have things to do and places to be. I'm not planning to be too overambitious and stress myself out, it's mostly just a product of a bit of a new mindset towards my life that I'm hoping to take.

Another thing I've kind of fought with in the same vein is whether or not I really consider myself a player of note... to elaborate, I've always felt a little insulted when people say things like "oh, you still play?" even when I'm actively playing. Kind of like people just assumed I faded away and retired, which to be fair, isn't entirely surprising - I indeed have not been relevant in nearly a year. My last major offline tournament was MLG Anaheim/WCS America in June 2012 (which was actually one of the best experiences of my life). For my own self-worth, I'd like to just cast off this label of someone trying to be a professional player and just allow myself to enjoy the game properly once again. I'm just going to be another good player, another person who loves that adrenaline rush jumping into a 1v1 game of Starcraft. I'd like to just throw myself into the deep end and feel no regret and hesitation for what I've done instead of halfassing it for months and months.

Another thing I'm going to start doing is streaming more, but not Starcraft. I'm just going to enjoy streaming whatever I feel like and hanging out with anyone who finds me entertaining, instead of worrying that people will always ask me why I'm not practicing or whatever. I've been really into Hardcore Diablo 3 again lately and I would have loved to stream it, but I was always a little embarrassed that I was spending time on that instead of Starcraft. I just want to do what I love and embrace whatever community I can be a part of. So I'll be streaming D3 soon! I know everybody got tired of it a year ago, but who cares, I have fun. I'll also probably do some LoL or DotA 2 fun times in the near future. It'll be great! (Dear TL admins: move my featured stream to Other, please! I'd hope I can still keep my feature as a contributing member of the community along with my past.)

I'd like to reiterate that I'm definitely not leaving the Starcraft community, and honestly, I wouldn't rule out another stint of competition in the future if the time was right. I made this post out to be a way bigger deal than it is, but I needed to do that for the state of my mindset. It's something that has been on my mind constantly and stressed me out a significant amount.

I'd like to end this post with a few thank yous to everyone who has supported me in any way throughout my time as a semi-professional player.

Thanks of course to Teamliquid, the forums, community, staff, and everyone who makes Starcraft worth playing. Teamliquid to me is what defines the Starcraft universe.

Thanks to everyone who has watched my stream, sent me a message on battle.net, bought some coaching, posted a nice comment about me, etc... the support of people like you is what allows people like me to do great things.

Thanks to all my friends and family in real life who have supported me. I've never once had someone tell me I'm a nerd or wasting my time when I told them I play a computer game professionally, and that is a luxury that only someone living in today's world can have.

Thanks to all my teammates, managers, and friends in the competitive gaming world. Being part of that community as well as the greater Starcraft community has been an absolutely wonderful experience, and I hope I can still participate in many ways.

Thanks to my friend Sharon for being my biggest supporter throughout my pursuit of success.

Cheers, everyone.
Nick

****
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
Masq
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1792 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-15 05:19:09
April 15 2013 05:18 GMT
#2
I've never really talked with you, and I initially thought you were just an annoying kid, but you proved to be quite professional and level headed. Good luck with singing/acting/college and whatever else you choose to do.

ps edit: sorry for being judgmental
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
April 15 2013 05:21 GMT
#3
On April 15 2013 14:18 Masq wrote:
I've never really talked with you, and I initially thought you were just an annoying kid, but you proved to be quite professional and level headed. Good luck with singing/acting/college and whatever else you choose to do.

ps edit: sorry for being judgmental

Haha, tyvm, glad you think so. As unfortunate as it is, I am a bit used to being judged that way =p.
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24670 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-15 05:22:54
April 15 2013 05:22 GMT
#4
Here I'll put an afterward...

I met pokebunny at the broodwar wcg USA finals 2009. If you think he's young now, imagine what he looked/sounded like then. A few of us were watching some match and poke started making some comments. At first I was thinking "who is this kid.. does he even play starcraft" but I listened and quickly realized he actually knew what the heck he was talking about. A few weeks later his named started popping up in places and he started becoming relevant in broodwar from what I remember.

Come starcraft 2, and now he's a dedicated and experienced gamer, already. During the beta I got paired up against him tvp on desert oasis. I got fucking rolled. He was completely manner and said something like 'man hydras are so op right now.' Such a class act. And obviously an up an comer in sc2.

Then his success started getting to his head a bit and I was worried he was going to become like Lindsay Lohan but fortunately that didn't happen.

Poke, I'm glad you took the time to write out your thoughts on this issue. Your career has not been so insignificant that you don't deserve some recognition for your accomplishments, by any means. I wish you luck in your future endeavors but am glad you plan to stick around.

PS thanks for catching that computer I almost knocked on the floor.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22253 Posts
April 15 2013 05:26 GMT
#5
<3
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
April 15 2013 05:27 GMT
#6
On April 15 2013 14:22 micronesia wrote:
Here I'll put an afterward...

I met pokebunny at the broodwar wcg USA finals 2009. If you think he's young now, imagine what he looked/sounded like then. A few of us were watching some match and poke started making some comments. At first I was thinking "who is this kid.. does he even play starcraft" but I listened and quickly realized he actually knew what the heck he was talking about. A few weeks later his named started popping up in places and he started becoming relevant in broodwar from what I remember.

Come starcraft 2, and now he's a dedicated and experienced gamer, already. During the beta I got paired up against him tvp on desert oasis. I got fucking rolled. He was completely manner and said something like 'man hydras are so op right now.' Such a class act. And obviously an up an comer in sc2.

Then his success started getting to his head a bit and I was worried he was going to become like Lindsay Lohan but fortunately that didn't happen.

Poke, I'm glad you took the time to write out your thoughts on this issue. Your career has not been so insignificant that you don't deserve some recognition for your accomplishments, by any means. I wish you luck in your future endeavors but am glad you plan to stick around.

PS thanks for catching that computer I almost knocked on the floor.

Haha thanks a lot. Great blast from the past and much appreciated. I'm glad I'm not Lindsay Lohan but tbh for that kind of money I probably wouldn't give a damn what people think of me anymore.
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
April 15 2013 05:27 GMT
#7
On April 15 2013 14:22 micronesia wrote:
Here I'll put an afterward...

I met pokebunny at the broodwar wcg USA finals 2009. If you think he's young now, imagine what he looked/sounded like then. A few of us were watching some match and poke started making some comments. At first I was thinking "who is this kid.. does he even play starcraft" but I listened and quickly realized he actually knew what the heck he was talking about. A few weeks later his named started popping up in places and he started becoming relevant in broodwar from what I remember.

Come starcraft 2, and now he's a dedicated and experienced gamer, already. During the beta I got paired up against him tvp on desert oasis. I got fucking rolled. He was completely manner and said something like 'man hydras are so op right now.' Such a class act. And obviously an up an comer in sc2.

Then his success started getting to his head a bit and I was worried he was going to become like Lindsay Lohan but fortunately that didn't happen.

Poke, I'm glad you took the time to write out your thoughts on this issue. Your career has not been so insignificant that you don't deserve some recognition for your accomplishments, by any means. I wish you luck in your future endeavors but am glad you plan to stick around.

PS thanks for catching that computer I almost knocked on the floor.

Wow if Poke went Lindsay Lohan I might have to pay some paparazzi.
Adersick
Profile Joined July 2011
United States216 Posts
April 15 2013 05:28 GMT
#8
Hey man, sometimes you need some time off it. I'm just glad that you're sticking with the community, even if your competitive focus is taking a back seat (I still pity the foo' who don't see Pokebunny as a threat on the ladder)! I'd miss you too much on the SC2 and Diablo sides of things- so I'm happy knowing you're still with us.

Stay classy, good luck in the future: be it singing, acting, and college!
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24670 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-15 05:34:56
April 15 2013 05:33 GMT
#9
I just tried playing Poke the Bunny finally... wtf? I take back everything I said.

+ Show Spoiler +
I guess I shouldn't talk... video I made once
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
RyanRushia
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2748 Posts
April 15 2013 05:34 GMT
#10
wish you the best of luck nick!
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. | coL.Ryan | www.twitter.com/coL_RyanR
Darkren
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1841 Posts
April 15 2013 05:36 GMT
#11
Good luck in the afterlife. X)
"Yeah, I send (hopefully) helpful PM's quite frequently. You don't have to warn/ban everything" - KadaverBB
Mudkipnick
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
Korea (South)241 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-15 05:38:59
April 15 2013 05:38 GMT
#12
I had the pleasure meeting you at that LAN tournament last year, and losing to you in the finals. To this day, that is my proudest moment of playing SC2, despite me losing 0-3. You are the best friend I've made in Starcraft, and even though we don't hang out or talk too much I still consider you a good friend of mine. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your future~!
Follow your dreams
LeperKahn
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Romania1838 Posts
April 15 2013 05:38 GMT
#13
nice to play with you back in the day
hope all is well pokey
CJ Entusman #14 • http://soundcloud.com/discodinosaur • https://discosaur.bandcamp.com/
Superiorwolf
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States5509 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-15 05:41:20
April 15 2013 05:41 GMT
#14
StarCraft can still be something that defines you even if you are not training hardcore 24/7. When I was in high school and freshman year of college I was very passionate about StarCraft and it was something that defined me, even if I hadn't broken out or anything. As long as you continue to love Starcraft it will be part of who you are, and eventually you will learn how it fits into your life (as I am trying to figure out myself as well right now). Plus, at your age you've still got a long time to continue playing Starcraft. If you keep playing and maintaining competitiveness, eventually you may just find that you've gotten that edge back in your play once again

GL Pokebunny!
Check out my stream at www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=315053 and follow me on Twitter @EGSuppy! :)
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
April 15 2013 05:44 GMT
#15
@Adersick - thanks a lot!

@micronesia - wtf

@RyanRushia - thanks a ton! was great to meet you back at NESC2

@Mudkipnick - definitely consider you a good friend fsho thanks a lot!

@LeperKahn - it's been a long ass time haha. I miss our games back in the day!!!! Thanks a lot

@Superiorwolf - definitely, and that's a reason I've been really hesitant to make this post - because I really still consider Starcraft to be a big part of me, but I just needed to get this label out of my head of being a competitive player. I definitely know what you mean though and I will always love Starcraft :D good luck to you too sir!
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
April 15 2013 05:45 GMT
#16
Does this mean you're gonna come back to Broodwar with the rest of us?!?!
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Saracen
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States5139 Posts
April 15 2013 05:45 GMT
#17
You've definitely come a long way. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do, Nick.
Foreplay
Profile Joined May 2008
United States1154 Posts
April 15 2013 05:50 GMT
#18
Thanks for being one of two people I can point to and be like "hey I used to be in the same clan as that guy and now he's good." Get on skype every once in awhile.
Better than Pokebunny
StarStruck
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
25339 Posts
April 15 2013 05:51 GMT
#19
Nice try, but singing and acting? Okay. I've certainly never seen you act or sing but if you think the competition was tough in Starcraft you have another thing coming. Show business is even harder! D:
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24670 Posts
April 15 2013 05:52 GMT
#20
On April 15 2013 14:44 Pokebunny wrote:
@micronesia - wtf

Haha, it's all good :p

On April 15 2013 14:41 Superiorwolf wrote:
Plus, at your age

I'm probably just being a 'grumpy old man' but I found this part funny. If your day ever comes Suppy I have an afterward planned for you as well :p
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
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