EPT
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What is TL Noir?
TL Noir is a detective story about a dapper Moderator named Cow who works in TL City. He is tasked with hunting down a troll who is terrorizing TL's populace. Join him on his perilous search through the dark streets of TL and be prepared to experience mystery, adventure, suspense, horror and many, many other intense words.
You can start reading here: Part 1
TL Noir is a detective story about a dapper Moderator named Cow who works in TL City. He is tasked with hunting down a troll who is terrorizing TL's populace. Join him on his perilous search through the dark streets of TL and be prepared to experience mystery, adventure, suspense, horror and many, many other intense words.
You can start reading here: Part 1
Carefully, we move through more alleys. The streets seem deserted, though. The Moderators probably cleared most people out of this part of the city when they saw us coming. A lucky break. I could blend in quite well if need be, but I imagine that a giant mouse might attract some attention.
We sneak around to the back of Hot Bid's swanky apartment building and I force my way in through the back entrance, as quietly as possible. We inch our way through an empty corridor and I peek around the corner into the lobby area to see the building's receptionist cautiously peering through the front glass doors, probably trying to catch a glimpse of what happened outside. We sneak by behind his back and up the stairs. It doesn't take us long to reach the top floor. Hot Bid's floor. Carefully, I try jiggling the handle on the sturdy, ornately decorated oak door to the suite. It's unlocked. Another lucky break? He could be in there. I motion Mickey to be extra quiet as I bring the handle all the way down and slowly open the door.
I visited this suite once before and it still looks almost exactly the way I remember it. Hot Bid's a big fan of the bourgeois style. Chandeliers. Old paintings. Big, sturdy, padded chairs and small tables with intricately carved patterns. Walls lined with heavy bookcases. More candles than any man should rightly own. What a fucking snob. Slowly, we walk through a hallway into the spacious living room, the sound of our steps dampened by a thick, expensive looking rug.
Just as I open my mouth to tell Mickey that I think we're safe, I hear a strange pop, like a cork shooting out of a champagne bottle. Mickey lets out a short gasp and drops to the ground.
“Mickey...?”
“Hi, Cow. How nice to see you again. Don't move.”
It feels like my heart skips a beat when I hear his voice. Hot Bid. I look up to see him standing in the hallway we just came out of. Bastard. Another fucking trap. A small plume of smoke is rising from the barrel of a silenced pistol in his right hand, which is now pointed at me. As if the situation isn't bad enough yet, he's not alone. He's holding a hostage. It's Kiett. He's holding her in place with his left arm. Tears are flowing from her eyes.
“Cow!” she screams. “Help!”
“Hot Bid, let her go.” It's taking every ounce of my willpower not to start yelling at him. “I'm unarmed. She has nothing to do with this. Please.”
He laughs. I hate that fucking laugh. I would strangle it right out of him if I could.
“Yeah, because hey, you know me,” he giggles, “I'm all about minimizing harm. No, she stays. She'll get to watch you die. I don't know why I didn't just put a bullet in you in the first place. Arrogance, I suppose. Not a mistake I intend to make twice.”
“What about Kiett?” I ask. “You're just going to kill her, too? Your own sister?”
“Yep.” He says it like he doesn't even give a damn. Fucking psychopath. “Pretty much have to, don't I? She knows a little bit too much, now.” He giggles again.
“Any last words?” he says, as he brings his gun up to put a bullet in my brain.
“No. Do it.” I close my eyes and exhale. I failed.
I flinch as I hear the silenced pistol pop.
“Motherf-”
Wait a second. I'm still alive. I open my eyes to see Mickey with both arms wrapped around Hot Bid's legs, trying to drag him down to the floor. The pistol is pointing at the ceiling. This is my chance. Without hesitation, I dart towards Hot Bid, push Kiett out of the way and throw my full weight against him. With Mickey still holding his legs, he goes down like a sack of potatoes. I sit on his chest, pin his arms to the ground with my legs and knock the pistol out of his hand. I start pounding his face with both fists, like I'm trying to smash a square peg through a round hole. The crunching noise when I break his nose is the most satisfying sound I have ever heard in my life. He's out cold.
“Mickey,” I say between exhausted breaths, “You okay?”
Mickey sits up, groans and clutches his shoulder. “Yeah, just a flesh wound. Lucky he's such a terrible shot,” he grins. First time I've seen him smile.
“Kiett, what about you? Everything okay?”
She's still sobbing, perched against the wall. “Yeah... I'm not hurt, I think.”
“Okay, good. Listen. Take that phone over there, get TLHQ on the line, explain what happened and tell them to get over here right now. Can you do that for me?”
She stops crying and dries her eyes. “Yes.”
“Good girl.”
Fifteen minutes later, the building is swarming with Moderators, headed by Plexa. With Kiett's help, I'm able to convince them not to shoot Mickey and myself, and to take Hot Bid into custody.
“I'm sorry, Cow,” says Plexa, with a guilty look on his face. “I really am. We should have seen through this charade. Something about this whole affair didn't sit right with me. You, a troll? It didn't really add up, you know? But to doubt a fellow admin like that...”
“It's okay, Plexa. He had us all fooled.”
“Fine mess you made coming into the city, though. We're still cleaning up bodies. Would have been nice if you could have found a more subtle way to break in. What were those things, anyway? They sure didn't look human.”
“They were human, once. Every bad guy we've ever banned from this city. We all dumped them in Disneyland. Did you know about that?”
Plexa frowns. “What? Disneyland? No.” I can see the honest confusion in his eyes. He's telling the truth.
“Bans were Hot Bid's responsibility,” he continues, “I always figured we just sent them to Reddit or something.”
“Well, we didn't. We piled them all up in Disneyland. Ruined the place, and everyone who lived there. Ruined Mickey's life.”
We both look at Mickey, who's leaning against a wall with an emergency bandage wrapped around his shoulder. Plexa sighs.
“I'm sorry for what happened to you, mister Mouse,” he says. “I truly am. You can stay here, in TL City. We'll make you a citizen and set you up with a place. You can build a new life here.”
“No,” Mickey replies, “My life ended long ago. I don't want a new one. I only want one thing.” He looks at Hot Bid, who is propped up in a corner, still unconscious, his hand and feet cuffed. Mickey's voice is calm, but there's an immeasurable fury in his eyes. “I want him.”
Plexa ponders the request, then nods. “Fair enough. I'd say you've earned your revenge. We'll escort you to the nearest city exit.”
Hot Bid still hasn't woken up when we arrive at the city exit. He literally smells like a butt. It seems he emptied his bowels when he went unconscious. I must have hit him harder than I thought. Probably gave him some brain damage. Good. Not that it really matters, where he's going.
I put my left hand on Mickey's good shoulder, and shake his right hand.
“Thank you for everything you've done for me, Mickey. I couldn't have done any of this without you. Sorry for everything that's happened to you. I hope you can find your peace out there.”
For the second time today, I see Mickey smile, and I smile right back. He squeezes my hand firmly.
“Thank you, Cow. Goodbye, my dear friend.”
He grabs Hot Bid by the collar with a single hand and drags him across the ground with remarkable ease as he walks towards the exit. A heavy door shuts behind him, and that's the last we see of Mickey Mouse and Hot Bid.
I'm left with Kiett and Plexa as the sun finally breaks through the clouds and washes over the street, bathing us in its warm glow.
“Sorry about your brother, Kiett.” I say, noticing her burdened look. “This must be hard for you.”
“It'll be okay,” she says, managing to crack a smile. “He was always kind of an asshole to me. Oh, Cow?”
I turn towards her. “Yeah?”
She gives me a quick kiss on the lips, and winks.
“Thanks for saving me.”
Well, well. Looks like something good may come of this yet.
– THE END –
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