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What is TL Noir?
TL Noir is a detective story about a dapper Moderator named Cow who works in TL City. He is tasked with hunting down a troll who is terrorizing TL's populace. Join him on his perilous search through the dark streets of TL and be prepared to experience mystery, adventure, suspense, horror and many, many other intense words.
You can start reading here: Part 1
TL Noir is a detective story about a dapper Moderator named Cow who works in TL City. He is tasked with hunting down a troll who is terrorizing TL's populace. Join him on his perilous search through the dark streets of TL and be prepared to experience mystery, adventure, suspense, horror and many, many other intense words.
You can start reading here: Part 1
I wake up. It takes me a moment to realize I'm not in the comfort of my bedroom. What happened before wasn't just a feverish dream. I'm banished from TL. Eliminated by that fucking psychopath. Hot Bid. Just the thought of his name makes me clench my fists. Where did he send me? It's dark in here – black as a panther's ass. Smells like one, too.
I take a few hesitant steps, arms stretched out in front of me like I'm trying to grab an invisible pair of breasts, and then freeze when I hear a scurrying sound. I'm not alone in here. The sound seems to be coming from all around me. I still can't see a thing. I'd trade my left nut for a flashlight right about now.
“Hello? Anyone here? Show yourself!” I yell into the wall of darkness, failing to hide the trembling in my voice. Suddenly, I hear a crisp voice, just inches from my ear.
“Welcome.”
Before I can even react, something hard hits me on the back of the head and I lose consciousness. Down I go again.
For the second time in an uncomfortably short while, I wake up with no idea of where I am. My head feels like someone used it for football practice. I look around very slowly, cradling my head like it's a precious overgrown egg. I'm lying on the floor in the middle of a big, rectangular room. Huge room, actually. Very high ceiling. Rows of pillars on either side of the room. This place has seen better times. Withered paintings on the wall, panels of rotting wood. Paint and gold leaf peeling off everywhere. It looks like a dead king's throne room. A fungus-like odor permeates the air, like the smell of wet forest soil.
It's not until I look right in front of me that I notice the large, dilapidated throne in the center of the far wall. A shadowy, oddly-shaped figure is sitting on it. I spot several humanoid silhouettes flanking the throne, like a ghostly court, quietly staring at me. It looks like they were waiting for me to wake up. The central figure rises from its throne and starts walking towards me. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem human. The proportions are all wrong and there are too many bulges where the head is supposed to be. The silhouettes follow behind him. I briefly consider running, but what's the point? I don't even know where I am, where I should run to or what I'm running away from. Plus, they could have easily cuffed me or locked me up, but they didn't. That's already enough to know I shouldn't even bother trying to escape.
The grotesque figure stops, halfway between myself and the throne. He's still cloaked in shadows, but I can feel his piercing gaze.
“Greetings, Cow. Welcome to my domain.”
That voice. Where have I heard that voice before? It sounds much more high-pitched than I was expecting.
“How do you know my name?” I ask, my mind racing to put a face on the mysterious voice.
“The device on your wrist. And some of my minions still remember you.” A couple of the silhouettes softly giggle, a few others hiss.
“Your minions? Who are you? What is this place?” I ask. “I feel like I know you...”
“Oh, everybody knows me, or at least, they used to, before my kingdom was destroyed by you and your friends.” The creature spits out that last word, like it left a bad taste in its mouth. “You don't recognize my voice? Here, let me reveal myself.”
The figure steps forward, into a circle of faint light falling in through a crack high up in the ceiling. Black skin, covered in short fur. Black, shiny nose. A flesh-colored face. Big black ears, round and tattered. Red pants, dirty, worn out and missing one of its buttons. Yellow shoes, barely still stitched together, covered in filth. I can't believe it.
Mickey fuckin' Mouse.
Of course. That voice. My childhood memories. I'm in Disneyland. They literally banish people to Disneyland. I always thought it was just some weird figure of speech. I'm staring at Mickey Mouse, not knowing what to say.
“Starting to put two and two together?” he asks with a bitter look in his eyes.
“I... What happened to this place? This was a paradise.” It's a dumb question. I already know the answer.
“What do you think happened?” Mickey hisses sharply. “You shipped all of your worst criminals here. For years. Our kingdom couldn't handle that much evil. We were overrun. Those who weren't slaughtered, fled. I lost all of my friends. Everyone I ever knew. I lost Goofy. I lost Pluto.” Furiously, he steps closer and grabs my collar with torn grey gloves that were once an immaculate white. “I lost Minnie!” I can feel the anger in his grip. I can see the tears in his eyes, pupils black as tar pits. “I loved her. And she's gone. All because of you!”
He throws me to the ground with surprising ferocity. Instinctively, I throw my arm up to protect myself.
“Wait!” I yell, “I didn't know! I swear I didn't know. I never would have supported this. You have to believe me. I can help you. Please.”
Mickey lets out a short, bitter laugh. “Help me? How are you going to help me? Are you going to bring everyone I loved back from the dead? Magically restore this kingdom? I think you've helped enough,” he sneers.
“I can help you get revenge,” I quickly reply. “I know the person who must have been behind all this. He's the one who sent me here, because I tried to stop him. He's a ruthless monster. His name is Hot Bid.” As soon as I utter his name, a cacophony of hisses and wails erupts from the silhouettes surrounding Mickey. He observes the distress of his underlings with some surprise and turns back to me.
“Judging from the reactions of my followers, there seems to be some truth to your words. Tell me more.”
I study the minions. They stare back with hollow eyes. Their skin is grey and their bodies appear desiccated, but their stringy muscles seem nonetheless powerful, and they have sharp teeth and menacing claws.
“You... control these guys, correct?” I ask.
Mickey nods. “These are the monsters your beloved city sent us. I was the only one strong enough to eventually break their will and bring them under my submission. Much too late...”
“I think I have a plan, Mickey. Let's talk.”
– TO BE CONTINUED –