• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 02:32
CET 08:32
KST 16:32
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Revival - 2025 Season Finals Preview8RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups A & B Preview2TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners12
Community News
Weekly Cups (Dec 1-7): Clem doubles, Solar gets over the hump1Weekly Cups (Nov 24-30): MaxPax, Clem, herO win2BGE Stara Zagora 2026 announced15[BSL21] Ro.16 Group Stage (C->B->A->D)4Weekly Cups (Nov 17-23): Solar, MaxPax, Clem win3
StarCraft 2
General
RSL Revival - 2025 Season Finals Preview Weekly Cups (Dec 1-7): Clem doubles, Solar gets over the hump Chinese SC2 server to reopen; live all-star event in Hangzhou Maestros of the Game: Live Finals Preview (RO4) BGE Stara Zagora 2026 announced
Tourneys
StarCraft2.fi 15th Anniversary Cup RSL Offline Finals Info - Dec 13 and 14! Tenacious Turtle Tussle 2025 RSL Offline Finals Dates + Ticket Sales! Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 504 Retribution Mutation # 503 Fowl Play Mutation # 502 Negative Reinforcement Mutation # 501 Price of Progress
Brood War
General
[BSL21] RO8 Bracket & Prediction Contest BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ How Rain Became ProGamer in Just 3 Months BW General Discussion FlaSh on: Biggest Problem With SnOw's Playstyle
Tourneys
[ASL20] Grand Finals [BSL21] RO8 - Day 2 - Sunday 21:00 CET [BSL21] RO8 - Day 1 - Saturday 21:00 CET Small VOD Thread 2.0
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Game Theory for Starcraft Fighting Spirit mining rates Current Meta
Other Games
General Games
Dawn of War IV The 2048 Game Path of Exile Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Awesome Games Done Quick 2026!
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Survivor II: The Amazon Sengoku Mafia TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine US Politics Mega-thread YouTube Thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
White-Ra Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion!
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
TL+ Announced Where to ask questions and add stream?
Blogs
How Sleep Deprivation Affect…
TrAiDoS
I decided to write a webnov…
DjKniteX
James Bond movies ranking - pa…
Topin
Thanks for the RSL
Hildegard
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1336 users

TL Noir, Part 6

Blogs > vGl-CoW
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-14 17:48:16
November 17 2012 17:18 GMT
#1
+ Show Spoiler [First-Time Readers, Click Here] +
What is TL Noir?

TL Noir is a detective story about a dapper Moderator named Cow who works in TL City. He is tasked with hunting down a troll who is terrorizing TL's populace. Join him on his perilous search through the dark streets of TL and be prepared to experience mystery, adventure, suspense, horror and many, many other intense words.

You can start reading here: Part 1


It takes a few seconds for my eyes to regain focus. The first thing I see is Hot Bid standing up, looking down at me with a nauseating grin. He lured me into this. Bastard. How is this even possible? Something I'll have to figure out later. First, I'll wipe that smirk right off his fucking face. I launch myself towards him, but feel a sharp pain in my wrist as I'm suddenly yanked back to the ground. Hot Bid lets out a cackling, sadistic laugh, like a child torturing a bug. I look at my arm. He managed to get one of the shackles around my wrist while I was dazed. I'm trapped.
“Hot Bid! What the fuck is this?! It's not funny. Let me go, now!”
He starts laughing even harder, standing just out of my reach, waving the key in front of my face, taunting me.
“You mad, Cow? Problem?” he giggles.
“This doesn't make any sense, Hot Bid. You're a fucking admin! Why are you doing this? All those people...”
My voice is trembling with rage. It only seems to make him enjoy the situation even more.
“For the lulz, of course!” he laughs, “All work and no play make Hot Bid a dull boy.”
“You know you won't get away with this,” I reply, “I'm a Moderator. People will ask questions!”
He erupts in another bout of maniacal laughter. Fucker's getting a real kick out of this. I need to keep my head cool.
“You know what, Cow? You're completely right. I hadn't thought of that. Oh wait, I totally did!” he says while cracking up again. “Oh, this is just too funny. My sides are starting to hurt. Hold on, let me make a quick call.”

He activates his wrist device and presses a few buttons. After a few seconds, a voice with a familiar accent crackles through a miniature speaker on the device.
“Hot Bid? Is that you? Where are you? Are you safe?”
It's Plexa. Shit. He won't be able to hear me, even if I yell. The wrist device was designed to cancel noise from the user's environment. Thanks a lot for improving our lives, Rich.
Hot Bid starts speaking in a serious, urgent tone, almost panting, but he's still looking at me with sparkles of sadistic pleasure in his eyes.
“Plexa, thank God. I found the troll. You're not going to believe this... It's Cow. I managed to subdue him.”
The speaker box goes silent for a moment, then comes back to life.
“...Cow? But... How could that be? It's impossible. Where are you?”
“Dota District, the apartment complex,” Hot Bid replies, “I don't have much time to explain. He ambushed me here and kept me locked up. I managed to knock him out just now and free myself. Please come quick. I don't know how much longer... Shit! He's up again! Plexa, help!”
Abruptly, he shuts down the call and looks at me with his evil grin.
“There,” he says, “now you can be my fall guy, and it will look like I took you out in self defense. Not bad, right?”
I'm still shaking with anger, but I force myself to stay quiet. I refuse to give him the pleasure of watching me scream with impotent rage.
“Giving me the silent treatment, huh? Tell me, Cow, have you ever been banned? Probably not, right? Moderators can't be banned. Except by administrators, of course,” he chuckles as he taps his wrist device.
He's going to ban me. That makes sense. I need to be silenced. He's made up a pretty convincing story, but he can't have me around poking holes in it. I need a plan, right now. I need to stall until Plexa gets here.
“Hot Bid... How could you do this? To TL? To your own sister, even?” I ask.
He gives me a contemptuous smirk. “Please, don't be so dramatic. Do you think any of this matters? Seriously?” He grabs some dust off the floor, briefly shows it to me in his palm and lets it slip through his fingers as he stares me in the eye, still cracking a smile. “This, Cow, this is what we are. Dust. Sand. How long have humans been around? Modern man, I mean. Two hundred thousand years, maybe? A lot of people have come and gone since then, right? Billions. Who still gives a shit about them now? Nobody. Two hundred thousand years. And in just two hundred years, nobody will give a shit about you, or me, or anybody we know. In two billion years, this planet will probably still be spinning, but it'll be hard to even find a trace of humans ever having existed. In the end, nothing we do matters. I'm just trying to have some fun by throwing a few grains of sand around in a desert so incredibly big you can't even begin to imagine it, and you're throwing a fit about it. It's hilarious, when you really think about it. Hilarious... and stupid.”

I've been trying to keep my cool, but hearing his little nihilist sermon just makes me snap.
“You monster!” I growl at him, “Grains of sand? Those are real fucking people you're hurting! Real people wi-”
I'm abruptly cut off by a right blow to the temple and knocked back on my ass. Fireworks made out of pain go off in my head.
“Hush now, Cow. As much fun as this has been, I'm afraid our time here is running short. It's been nice working with you. Bon voyage, my friend,” says Hot Bid as he readies his wrist device for a permanent ban and aims it at me.
“No! Wait!”
It's the last thing I manage to yell before he presses the confirmation button. Immediately, I feel myself being pulled out of my body at an overwhelming speed, out of the building, out of the Dota District, out of TL City, into the darkness, into the void. Fuck.


– TO BE CONTINUED –



+ Show Spoiler [Other Parts] +
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7


****
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
marttorn
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Norway5211 Posts
November 17 2012 17:34 GMT
#2
Disneyland in the next part?!

5/5 as always
memes are a dish best served dank
Coagulation
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States9633 Posts
November 17 2012 18:10 GMT
#3
I been banned before. Its no big deal. Walk it off.
surfinbird1
Profile Joined September 2009
Germany999 Posts
November 17 2012 19:42 GMT
#4
Oh man, I never wanna go to that godless place they call "Disneyland". How can your soul survive this?
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
November 17 2012 20:36 GMT
#5
Awesome! The plot thickenz! :O

So gewd, another interesting installment hehe. Thanks.
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
HwangjaeTerran
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Finland5967 Posts
November 17 2012 21:42 GMT
#6
Perma-ban is not where it ends, it's where it all begins..
https://steamcommunity.com/id/*tlusernamehere*/
]343[
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States10328 Posts
November 18 2012 00:04 GMT
#7
kekekeke 5/5
Writer
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
November 18 2012 01:01 GMT
#8
Pfft.

Bans don't do that.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
November 18 2012 01:09 GMT
#9
Awesome as always cow 5/5
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
Dubzex
Profile Joined October 2010
United States6994 Posts
November 18 2012 02:16 GMT
#10
Teleported to Disneyland. This is where cow meets up with other notables such as combatex and charliemurphy to form a new society of outcasts whose only goal is to take down hotbid.
"DONT UNDERESTIMATE MY CARRY OR YOU WILL BE CARRIED INTO THE ABYSS OF SUFFERING" - Tyler 'TC' Cook
Shock710
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia6097 Posts
November 18 2012 02:57 GMT
#11
damnnn O_O cow's been perm-ed!!!! NOOOOO! i wonder what hotbid thinks of this :D
awesome write MOAR MOARRRRR!!! so excruciating to wait, its like reading a book but ur only allowed one page a week!!!
dAPhREAk gives Shock a * | [23:55] <Shock710> that was out of context -_- [16:26] <@motbob> Good question, Shock!
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
November 18 2012 04:41 GMT
#12
Fantastic
[TLMS] REBOOT
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
November 18 2012 05:03 GMT
#13
On November 18 2012 11:16 Dubzex wrote:
Teleported to Disneyland. This is where cow meets up with other notables such as combatex and charliemurphy to form a new society of outcasts whose only goal is to take down hotbid.


What makes Charliemurphy so special that he's on the same level of bad as combatex? All I know about him was that he had an unusual amount of posts to be permed.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
Antylamon
Profile Joined March 2011
United States1981 Posts
November 18 2012 06:23 GMT
#14
If you've been perma-banned, then how did you manage to write about it?
Qbek
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Poland12923 Posts
November 18 2012 19:02 GMT
#15
On November 18 2012 15:23 Antylamon wrote:
If you've been perma-banned, then how did you manage to write about it?

You can still PM mods afaik. So he PM himself ( a mod) to post this. ez
This space left intentionally dank /)3(\ http://i.imgur.com/RmeEUcF.png
Loanshark
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
China3094 Posts
November 18 2012 22:18 GMT
#16
On November 18 2012 11:16 Dubzex wrote:
Teleported to Disneyland. This is where cow meets up with other notables such as combatex and charliemurphy to form a new society of outcasts whose only goal is to take down hotbid.


Don't forget an entire army of Tdots
No dough, no go. And no mercy.
CeriseCherries
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
6170 Posts
November 18 2012 23:18 GMT
#17
:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hot bid what have you done
Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
Dubzex
Profile Joined October 2010
United States6994 Posts
November 19 2012 06:02 GMT
#18
On November 19 2012 07:18 Loanshark wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 18 2012 11:16 Dubzex wrote:
Teleported to Disneyland. This is where cow meets up with other notables such as combatex and charliemurphy to form a new society of outcasts whose only goal is to take down hotbid.


Don't forget an entire army of Tdots

They could use the army of Tdots to break down the TL firewalls and infiltrate the system.
"DONT UNDERESTIMATE MY CARRY OR YOU WILL BE CARRIED INTO THE ABYSS OF SUFFERING" - Tyler 'TC' Cook
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
November 19 2012 06:05 GMT
#19
Maybe TL Noir and Coag's webcomic could have a crossover at some point
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
TerranMechRush
Profile Joined November 2012
8 Posts
November 19 2012 06:31 GMT
#20
--- Nuked ---
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 1h 28m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
WinterStarcraft730
StarCraft: Brood War
Sea 4223
Hyuk 219
Larva 173
BeSt 136
Shuttle 133
Mong 49
910 38
Bale 33
ZergMaN 28
soO 8
League of Legends
JimRising 637
C9.Mang0328
Super Smash Bros
hungrybox147
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor144
Other Games
summit1g8741
Mew2King66
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1019
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH138
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Rush1810
• Lourlo1320
• HappyZerGling114
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
1h 28m
Wardi Open
4h 28m
Monday Night Weeklies
9h 28m
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 2h
OSC
2 days
YoungYakov vs Mixu
ForJumy vs TBD
Percival vs TBD
Shameless vs TBD
Replay Cast
2 days
The PondCast
3 days
OSC
4 days
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
SC Evo League
5 days
[ Show More ]
BSL 21
5 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
BSL 21
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Acropolis #4 - TS3
RSL Offline Finals
Kuram Kup

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 4
YSL S2
BSL Season 21
Slon Tour Season 2
WardiTV 2025
META Madness #9
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22

Upcoming

CSL 2025 WINTER (S19)
BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
HSC XXVIII
Big Gabe Cup #3
ESL Pro League Season 23
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.