EPTBefore this I was a very average person - I did decently in studies, had a fair amount of friends, a few relationships, enjoyed reading and sports and videogames etc. All in all I think I'm pretty much the epitome of an average young fellow.
Career issues:
Now my dad, bless his heart, has always believed that I am very clever and have great potential. Personally I think my brainpower is decent but nothing to write home about, but when I work hard on something I can do okay at it. Currently I have a job doing IT consulting, which pays quite alright. My dad feels that I should try to start up a business of my own as soon as possible so that I can achieve more in life, and when I become a successful business owner it will be easier for me to relax in my later years as compared to if I kept climbing the corporate ladder.
I do agree with his sentiments. The problem is, at my job I already feel that I am not doing well enough; I often take too long to program a simple thing in my opinion and need to get help in various areas I am not familiar with. Besides that I think I am not naturally good in managing various details, which would be needed if I become a boss. My team leader assures me that I am already doing pretty well, and that would perhaps be true if I did not aspire higher.
Trouble is, I already feel that my current life is very tiring in terms of details, e.g. work plus other annoying things like taxes and bank loans, etc etc. Since my life already daunts me, I quail to think what it would be like if I start my own company. Yet at the same time I feel that I should not be afraid of these, instead I should rise to meet the challenges. So now I am stuck in a quandary.
Relationship issues.
During college I dated a couple girls, then after I came out to work I found a girlfriend who I really loved, and in the back of my mind I was contemplating our future together. Unfortunately she then dumped me. After this I felt rather hurt for some time. This girl whom I met then started to talk to me about no-strings attached relationships, so I asked her if she wanted one with me, whereupon she accepted.
The thing is after we made the deal, she began to be a bit clingy about it, posting lovey stuff on my Facebook wall among other things. Now my idea of a no-strings relationship is to meet up to make out and what not once in awhile, discreetly, so this makes me apprehensive that she may expect more out of it. I also find it annoying when she stays over in my place because I don't have the whole bed to myself, before when I had a "proper" girlfriend I was alright with sharing the bed but for some reason I now find myself less tolerant.
Therefore I do not know what to do with her now.
General dissatisfaction with life.
As I grow older I find that my life is going into a narrower and narrower pathway, and that pathway is pretty mundane. Fantasies I had as a kid about being a professional basketball player or going to Mars have long since been dispelled, and even more ordinary dreams seem to be impractical now that I have embarked on this career.
Sure I could do interesting things like meeting new people and traveling, but somehow I just feel apathetic about everything. My favorite time of the day is now when my sleep time, and I can sleep over 10 hours on the weekends. When in college I would jump up from bed to think of what to do, but now... this seems a little depressing.
I am not sure who to talk to about it. If I tell my family they will worry. My best friend is a very practical fellow; I can already imagine what he will say "just do your best in life and god does the rest". I'm sure some of you guys are going through this kinda experience or already have gone through it, so please tell me your thoughts on my situation.
