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"I want learn... learn read... learn to read Wall Street Journal."
Wait a second, I thought. Didn't this girl have an MBA from Columbia Business School?
It was week two of my English lessons. Every Sunday afternoon, I would spend six hours in the Guomao Tower of a Chinese investment bank teaching three of their employees "Business English". I earned two hundred and fifty renminbi per hour, about 30 bucks. I needed every cent of it.
I was in kind of a funny situation at the time. I had a day job, a spring/summer internship at another Chinese bank. I got the job by dating the daughter of a guy who sat on that bank's Board of Directors. She (let's call her Sylvia) was in Beijing at the time too, and we wanted to spend time together. The job paid a thousand renminbi per month, which I was told was actually pretty high for an internship in China. The problem with this comfortable arrangement came on the third day of work.
I was summoned up to the fifteenth floor of the bank's offices, high above Financial Street on the west side of Beijing, into a cavernous office that was mostly empty and smelled new. A wizened, salt-and-pepper guy about my height tapped me on the shoulder from behind. She had inherited her father's facial features, I could see.
Anyhow, he closed the door behind me, sat me down and poured out two cups of tea. He was a big tea buff, that guy, and the tea was probably really good, but I drank none of it because he immediately started the test. The first question was nonverbal, offering me a pack of cigarettes. I shook my head and refused, and he smiled and said "good, good" before putting them down. Then he moved on to asking me about my upbringing and employment prospects. I think I failed most of that part because my spoken Chinese suddenly regressed to a third-grade level at that moment. Near the end, he got a little annoyed and asked, half-facetiously, given that his daughter and I had been spending some time together already, how much money I was spending on her.
I froze. He knew my salary; he was for all intents and purposes my boss for the next ten weeks. Too high, and he would know I was bullshitting him. But I couldn't say it too low; that would be insulting for a girl of her class. And I couldn't tell him I didn't remember, because I'd told him I wanted to go into finance or management, and what sort of future go-getter could I be if I didn't remember how much cash I was spending on my beau?
He smiled. It was not a smile that made me comfortable.
I decided to take a third option and state that I had some cash saved up from my college job which added to my current income. He smiled again and suggested that she and I should check out a a nightclub, Silk, high atop Guomao. I nodded, and said I'd check it out.
I'd heard of Silk. It had a 4000RMB table minimum... for two people.
So yeah. Back to earning my keep. The Chinese banker lady sitting across from me was 28, cute, tall, and shaped like a porcelain hourglass. But every time she used English to talk about her experiences at Columbia Business School, I cringed on the inside.
I'd brought an article from The Atlantic, since that's what most of my banker buddies in the States read and I assumed she wanted to share in their culture. I also assumed that her MBA made her ready for the writing in that magazine.
She asked me why we had to read The Atlantic, and I, feeling a little annoyed, made the mistake of saying something about raising her cultural level. She began to cry a little. Shit, I thought, she gets pissed at me and I'm down to one thousand extra per week. So I decided to make some lemonade out of the lemony situation. I remembered all my years of high school student senate, smiled my best Tom Cruise smile, and offered her a special hour long lesson the Friday of, where I would teach her free of charge.
She looked up with her big doe-eyes and accepted. I suggested coffee and she agreed, a little too quickly.
My big mouth always gets me in trouble, even when it's only smiling.
Wednesday rolled around and Banker Girl texted me. My phone OS still hated Chinese, so all I saw was a string of little white boxes and the numbers 730. 7:30? I sent her an email. She replied that she was busy in the afternoon, but she could meet me at 7:30 at her place for dinner.
I gave Sylvia a call. She said to go ahead. After I hung up, I realized I'd forgotten to tell my girlfriend that my student was a girl too, and very, very pretty. I hoped Sylvia wouldn't be jealous, but my student was not about to make that easy.
It was raining when I got off work. Stepped on the overcrowded No. 1 line, transferred at Guomao to the No. 10 line, got off at Hu Jia Lou. Her apartment was less than half a kilometer from the subway stop.
Later, someone would tell me that Hu Jia Lou was one of the most expensive parts of Beijing to live in. He was being redundant. Banker Girl appeared at the entrance of the station, holding an umbrella. She put the umbrella in my hands, and walked hand in hand with me, under one umbrella, to the place where she'd illegally parked her SUV.
And not just any SUV. It was a Porsche Cayenne. All in, including tariffs, it was probably worth over a million RMB. Along the way back to her apartment, she went into a faux-European, overpriced corner market and picked up a bottle of wine.
We got back to her place and she set the wine down on her upright piano. Then she heated dinner, which, she so charmingly explained, her maid had cooked for her while she was at work that afternoon.
Over dinner, she explained to me how to properly taste wine. Apparently that was a course she'd taken at Columbia Business School. The mystery of her English skills became ever so slightly clearer.
Somehow she went through two glasses in the time it took me to go through one. Now she was a pink porcelain hourglass. She leaned close, one pearl-white set of fingers keeping her shampoo-commercial-perfect black hair from falling into the pork bone soup, and quite drowsily asked if I still thought she was uncultured.
This is when I should have ran.
Part 2: The Leftover Lady
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=367461
 
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Money, bling, women.
Subscribed, eagerly waiting for p2.
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Aw man, 国贸, so fucking cushy and upscale. I can never afford to buy anythere there when I was in Beijing.
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Good read as usual. Can't wait for part 2.
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On September 09 2012 23:33 Xiahou wrote:
Aw man, 国贸, so fucking cushy and upscale. I can never afford to buy anythere there when I was in Beijing.
Agreed. Every time I took my gf there I would feel physical pain emanating from my wallet.
Plus, Wudaokou is so much more fun anyhow
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i always believed bankers were good storytellers.
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On September 09 2012 23:38 Cubu wrote:
i always believed bankers were good storytellers.
but i'm not a banker 
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Dating high-class, rich Chinese women... Never a good sign!
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On September 09 2012 23:50 Disregard wrote:
Dating high-class, rich Chinese women... Never a good sign!
Even scarier is when you find out you're not the only one dating her.
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Shady you're a great storyteller. Please never stop posting here.
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On September 09 2012 23:45 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 09 2012 23:38 Cubu wrote:
i always believed bankers were good storytellers. but i'm not a banker
From the Chinese economy thread:
On September 05 2012 22:18 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2012 22:11 aznboi918 wrote:
I agree with Butterednuts. :D But I just wanna know how/where you received your education on China. growing up in a chinese family... my grandparents... working in a chinese state bank for a summer
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On September 10 2012 00:23 Cubu wrote:Show nested quote +On September 09 2012 23:45 Shady Sands wrote:On September 09 2012 23:38 Cubu wrote:
i always believed bankers were good storytellers. but i'm not a banker From the Chinese economy thread: Show nested quote +On September 05 2012 22:18 Shady Sands wrote:On September 05 2012 22:11 aznboi918 wrote:
I agree with Butterednuts. :D But I just wanna know how/where you received your education on China. growing up in a chinese family... my grandparents... working in a chinese state bank for a summer
I interned at banks, then went into management consulting. After that I decided to go into startups; now I do a mix of VC investing and helping rich Chinese people get EB-5 visas
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I'm eagerly awaiting part 2 of this story Shady Sands.
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On September 10 2012 00:29 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 10 2012 00:23 Cubu wrote:On September 09 2012 23:45 Shady Sands wrote:On September 09 2012 23:38 Cubu wrote:
i always believed bankers were good storytellers. but i'm not a banker From the Chinese economy thread: On September 05 2012 22:18 Shady Sands wrote:On September 05 2012 22:11 aznboi918 wrote:
I agree with Butterednuts. :D But I just wanna know how/where you received your education on China. growing up in a chinese family... my grandparents... working in a chinese state bank for a summer I interned at banks, then went into management consulting. After that I decided to go into startups; now I do a mix of VC investing and helping rich Chinese people get EB-5 visas
In the story or in real life?
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On September 10 2012 00:43 Cubu wrote:Show nested quote +On September 10 2012 00:29 Shady Sands wrote:On September 10 2012 00:23 Cubu wrote:On September 09 2012 23:45 Shady Sands wrote:On September 09 2012 23:38 Cubu wrote:
i always believed bankers were good storytellers. but i'm not a banker From the Chinese economy thread: On September 05 2012 22:18 Shady Sands wrote:On September 05 2012 22:11 aznboi918 wrote:
I agree with Butterednuts. :D But I just wanna know how/where you received your education on China. growing up in a chinese family... my grandparents... working in a chinese state bank for a summer I interned at banks, then went into management consulting. After that I decided to go into startups; now I do a mix of VC investing and helping rich Chinese people get EB-5 visas In the story or in real life?
In real life
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I'm getting hot under the collar just reading this
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On September 10 2012 01:23 EtherealDeath wrote:
What the hell
good or bad
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Is this blog real or fiction?
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On September 10 2012 02:09 Ma wrote:
Is this blog real or fiction?
Quasi real. Names and (some) places have been changed to protect the innocent
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On September 10 2012 01:30 Shady Sands wrote:good or bad
good, also what the hell
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Wait, you're doing all that for major Chinese banking employees and you're still only interning for 1000 RMB per month?
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how did you survive the interview x_x
i would have frozen to death
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I just wanted to ask how it feels to date someone from mainland who is rich? Can Sylvia even speak in proper, fluent English? How do you even put up with her parents? I've always imagined it to be a pain in the ass and I don't know how you're handling it.
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On September 10 2012 02:34 TOloseGT wrote:
Wait, you're doing all that for major Chinese banking employees and you're still only interning for 1000 RMB per month?
I had an internship at one Chinese bank. I earned 1k/month from that. I also taught English for pocket change on the side
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On September 10 2012 02:50 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 10 2012 02:34 TOloseGT wrote:
Wait, you're doing all that for major Chinese banking employees and you're still only interning for 1000 RMB per month? I had an internship at one Chinese bank. I earned 1k/month from that. I also taught English for pocket change on the side
OIC. Beijing was pretty awesome during my internship there, it sounds like you had quite a bit more fun than I did, haha.
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On September 10 2012 02:50 renzy wrote:
I just wanted to ask how it feels to date someone from mainland who is rich? Can Sylvia even speak in proper, fluent English? How do you even put up with her parents? I've always imagined it to be a pain in the ass and I don't know how you're handling it.
Actually Sylvia went to a Canadian boarding school (I think it was either Havergal or Trinity College, but I don't remember) so her English was quite good.
Her parents were actually surprisingly chill. Her dad was a real cool guy once we got to know each other better. Many of those insights in my China Economy blog came about because of him. Her mom was kind of a busybody like most Asian moms are, but still really nice.
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On September 10 2012 03:02 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 10 2012 02:50 renzy wrote:
I just wanted to ask how it feels to date someone from mainland who is rich? Can Sylvia even speak in proper, fluent English? How do you even put up with her parents? I've always imagined it to be a pain in the ass and I don't know how you're handling it. Actually Sylvia went to a Canadian boarding school (I think it was either Havergal or Trinity College, but I don't remember) so her English was quite good. Her parents were actually surprisingly chill. Her dad was a real cool guy once we got to know each other better. Many of those insights in my China Economy blog came about because of him. Her mom was kind of a busybody like most Asian moms are, but still really nice.
That's really cool! I thought her parents were gonna disapprove...judging from the "how much money are you spending on my daughter" question.
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On September 10 2012 03:07 renzy wrote:Show nested quote +On September 10 2012 03:02 Shady Sands wrote:On September 10 2012 02:50 renzy wrote:
I just wanted to ask how it feels to date someone from mainland who is rich? Can Sylvia even speak in proper, fluent English? How do you even put up with her parents? I've always imagined it to be a pain in the ass and I don't know how you're handling it. Actually Sylvia went to a Canadian boarding school (I think it was either Havergal or Trinity College, but I don't remember) so her English was quite good. Her parents were actually surprisingly chill. Her dad was a real cool guy once we got to know each other better. Many of those insights in my China Economy blog came about because of him. Her mom was kind of a busybody like most Asian moms are, but still really nice. That's really cool! I thought her parents were gonna disapprove...judging from the "how much money are you spending on my daughter" question.
Lol don't get me wrong, her dad never approved of me as marriage material. I think they just regarded me as a phase their daughter was going through.
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On September 10 2012 03:10 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 10 2012 03:07 renzy wrote:On September 10 2012 03:02 Shady Sands wrote:On September 10 2012 02:50 renzy wrote:
I just wanted to ask how it feels to date someone from mainland who is rich? Can Sylvia even speak in proper, fluent English? How do you even put up with her parents? I've always imagined it to be a pain in the ass and I don't know how you're handling it. Actually Sylvia went to a Canadian boarding school (I think it was either Havergal or Trinity College, but I don't remember) so her English was quite good. Her parents were actually surprisingly chill. Her dad was a real cool guy once we got to know each other better. Many of those insights in my China Economy blog came about because of him. Her mom was kind of a busybody like most Asian moms are, but still really nice. That's really cool! I thought her parents were gonna disapprove...judging from the "how much money are you spending on my daughter" question. Lol don't get me wrong, her dad never approved of me as marriage material. I think they just regarded me as a phase their daughter was going through.
So if I understand this correctly, they sort of look down on you?............like most rich Chinese people with power?
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On September 10 2012 03:17 renzy wrote:Show nested quote +On September 10 2012 03:10 Shady Sands wrote:On September 10 2012 03:07 renzy wrote:On September 10 2012 03:02 Shady Sands wrote:On September 10 2012 02:50 renzy wrote:
I just wanted to ask how it feels to date someone from mainland who is rich? Can Sylvia even speak in proper, fluent English? How do you even put up with her parents? I've always imagined it to be a pain in the ass and I don't know how you're handling it. Actually Sylvia went to a Canadian boarding school (I think it was either Havergal or Trinity College, but I don't remember) so her English was quite good. Her parents were actually surprisingly chill. Her dad was a real cool guy once we got to know each other better. Many of those insights in my China Economy blog came about because of him. Her mom was kind of a busybody like most Asian moms are, but still really nice. That's really cool! I thought her parents were gonna disapprove...judging from the "how much money are you spending on my daughter" question. Lol don't get me wrong, her dad never approved of me as marriage material. I think they just regarded me as a phase their daughter was going through. So if I understand this correctly, they sort of look down on you?............like most rich Chinese people with power?
Nah, I don't think they looked down on me. I think they didn't believe I could provide her daughter with the sort of lifestyle she deserved, which, to be honest, was quite true. I'm too much of a bohemian =/
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Wow Shady, such a baller haha.
Venture capitalist, general boss, and a good writer to boot. I'm jelly.
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Aw man, wonderful writing. Gripping from beginning to end. Your blogs never fail to entertain. And you never seem to run out of amazing life experiences
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great story great story, reading on
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On September 10 2012 02:37 Topin wrote:
how did you survive the interview x_x
i would have frozen to death
I actually did kinda freeze. I think I stammered for a good minute and a half before answering the question; I kept trying to drink out of an empty teacup. Her dad never stopped smiling.
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EPT
