EPTI’ve been dating my girlfriend for 15 months now and I at one point the dad had lost his car for a good 6 months, because he’s 60 and married at 40 to an 18 year old Fijian/Indian, who he then leased a car out for because she had no residency and then she fucked the car (no water in the engine, fucked the power steering) and wouldn’t pay the payments. This meant he had to declare bankruptcy and before all of this about 5 years ago the Mother of my girlfriend cheated on him in Fiji and left him for some insane ,face tattooed, wife beating criminal and honestly the list could go on for years. This all happened many years ago probably when my GF was 12 (she’s now 17 and I’m 18). He declared bankruptcy around 8 months into our relationship and this is when all the trouble started.
The Mum was an insane, the dad let the mum and the step dad (who was also the one she cheated on him with, that also BEATS her) stay with him. He was leasing with his eldest daughter (who’s 18 and her boyfriend who is 26). This meant 11 people were living in this 4 bedroom house. Since having no car they constantly asked me for lifts. My girlfriend went to the same school as I did, but I was no longer in school and was looking for employment but she was working a casual job, because she had to pay for most things for herself. She lives a good 40 minutes away from me and her works about an hour so I would usually pick her up 3-4 times a week and then just stay at her house because I was way too tired to drive back.
The step-dad was just crazy and always drunk, the mum would always tell me I had to drive her to the police station ( I only went through with it once, where I was up till 3AM at the police station after she filed the report she went home and went looking for him :S?) which completely wasted my time. He was applying for citizen ship in Australia because one of the kids is his and all that. But he was a deadest criminal in Fiji and over here he did nothing (the mum doesn’t work either and the ACTUAL Dad was too old and had health problems that made him unable to work).
So after a lot of that shit I got really fed up and keep in mind this was EVERY time I was ever at the house they would ask. We would do grocery shopping for them with their budget and bring it home for them etc.
After I got really fed up and said bluntly “I’m not your taxi” the step dad said “Okay boy” and the Mum and step dad ignored me until they went back to Fiji (about 2 weeks). After all that she came back a month or two later (I was still driving around constantly for them, taking them to pay their laybys and all that shit).
I honestly didn’t mind it for a while because I thought the dad was a nice guy etc. I offered to pick the mum up at the airport because it was a long way to take public transport, this was about 2 and a half hours all together driving I did for them.
Soon it started becoming less of a favour and more expected, they would ask me to pick up their pizza they ordered (THEY WOULD NEVER ASK ME FACE-TO-FACE, ALWAYS USE THE LITTLE KIDS TO ASK) and when I said I will just give me a second to get ready they would come down every minute or so saying “When are you going to leave?”. “Why haven’t you left yet?” This is when I started getting furious about it and after I got a full-time job I was working 8-5 then gym 6-7:15 then home for 15 minutes then an hour drive and I would collapse at about 9pm (they would still ask me to drive them somewhere at this time, even though I picked up their daughter almost every night)
They would constantly ask for more and more and if my girlfriend would tell them no (they would always ask her to ask me) they would punish her if I didn’t, i.e. make her do all the dishes or clean the house. They wouldn’t ever let her come to my house and if they did they would ring up at 10 in the morning and scream at her to be home by 11AM on a Sunday ( living 40 minute drive away, on a Sunday public transport barely runs) it was literally impossible.
Another time was when the year younger sister wanted a lift from me (openly told my girlfriend she hated me and I said no, it’s a short bus ride and its only 7pm) I refused and didn’t think about it any further till my girlfriend went upstairs the next day and was screamed at and called low and horrible because I didn’t want to. But they openly joked at my girlfriend about how she could catch the train because no one would rape her and that she should take condoms.
They would go insane and say shit behind my back apparently because I had started refusing to drive because I was extremely tired. On this one occasion I fell asleep at the wheel but luckily work up as I veered off a road. As soon as I got home they asked my girlfriend if I could get them some KFC or some bullshit, she went up and said no and I heard yelling.
This was the breaking point of almost 5 months of being a taxi for the sake of keeping peace for my girlfriend and I. I went up and the mum yelled “Get her away from me or I’ll hit her” (this wasn’t new, the mum always threatened but only did it to the 15 year old girl because my girlfriend now stood up to her). This is where I broke I said “What’s your problem? I’m always driving around for you?” She looked kind of shocked I finally snapped and the dad (the step dad had left Australia, being denied residency and also leaving with a pending court case for obstructing justice) arched up and said “I think you better leave” and I said “I don’t see why –girlfriends name- has to be screamed at for me not wanting to drive”
I walked out of the house and heard him yelling about “If I want to be part of the family I should be willing to do things”. I went back up and said “Where would your TV be without me?” and he ranted on about how he gave me petrol money I replied with “Petrol money doesn’t cover time and I did it to be nice not be a part of the family, I didn’t have to pick up the mum from the airport either I just wanted to be nice” then he kept screaming about being a part of the family and told me to leave and I just said “you’re a fucking joke”.
I packed my shit and left, I never spoke to them again and my girlfriend asks me why I wouldn’t forgive them or apologize to them (for what? Sticking up for my girlfriend?) and I just said I’m done wasting my time on people I shouldn’t and it’s clear now they never appreciated anything I did for them because of her.
Before all this my girlfriend and I got him a Microsoft pack thing (I got it through my work for $15) when looking at it now it’s like $189. He constantly brings it up to her screaming at her saying she can’t spend more than 15 on me and she’s so horrible for not spending money on him etc. They say I’m horrible and asked me to help them move and I said no and that was the only time they had been nice or even spoken to me in a month.. was when they wanted something. The Mum had a fight with her about how she couldn’t see me again and then continued to come in her room with the younger sister and just stare at her and whisper to each other, they buy dinner for the rest of the family but not for her. She’s the definition of a black sheep, only looked at when they want something from her.
There are a thousand more things I could add to this about what they have done but it’s gone to long already. The shit thing is I’m no longer feeling the same way about my girlfriend as I used to. But I can’t leave her in that fucked up family without my support.
Funny thing is the older sister’s boyfriend had the exact same problem for a while, he just never yelled back at them (the mum never paid rent when living with them, only bought food for herself and 2 minute noodles for the kids). He once asked her to pay the water bill and she went insane and tried to start a vendetta against him and the mother and dad proclaimed their hatred for him behind his back but continued asking for lifts.
I have now learned that I’m never going to be taken advantage of because I’m a generally nice dude and didn’t mind doing it every now and then just because it was helpful. But I need to find the balance where I know what is being nice and what is being taken advantage of.
P.S The dad would always ask me if I was interested in investing in his stupid business ideas (he knew I had got an inheritance. Just to add to your thought of these people.
