|
Dear Marilyn,
Like you, I have also been thinking a lot about our first year anniversary in the next few hours. I cannot help but recall to mind all the fond memories we have shared together in the year that we have been together.
I remember how we sat there quietly in the pastry house on our first date and how, after I insisted it was yours, you heartily gobbled the last bite on our blueberry cheesecake, that I ordered one more slice knowing you'd love it.
I remember how when we opened up about our feelings you cried so deeply, telling me that you have been hurt before and cannot bare to take any more hurt. I hugged you put your head on my shoulder and and told you to not worry because I am your knight in shining armor.
I remember how on our first night together you pulled down my boxers and looked intently on the tag, and turned to me winking and say "nice Armani boxers!" I can't help but be amused at your childish delight with my underwear.
I remember how you told me you'd want us to spend time together and have lunch together everytime.I always enjoyed the 20-mile drive to you with the thought of being together with you if only for a short time at lunch, and always hopeful that in the afternoon we'll be together again.
I remember how you called me once in the middle of the night and told me you were very sick and vomitting. I had to rush to you in mortal fear that it might be something bad. Thank god the doctor said it was just a slight fever, probably a hangover from your dorm party last night.
Finally, I remember how I woke up one night feeling heavy on the chest and with my asthma starting to cramp my lungs, I opened my eyes to find you lying on top of me, and with your dog puppy eyes you softly said: "I'm hungry..." I turned to look at my watch, it was 2 in the morning, and I forced myself up, thinking what kind of a monster I am to allow my little angel to go to sleep hungry. We had a blast of an adventure that night, or morning, looking around for remaining restaurants open. We skipped the ten Chinese restaurants as we didn't like it - you are allergic to noodles I know, and we finally settled on a nice cozy diner and induged in a steaks and a large bowl of potato and cheese and garden salad and lemonade at 3 in the morning.
Now a few hours before our anniversary, I cannot help but think about all these things, and more. This time, I'll be the one asking a favor. I hope you forgive me if I don't show up later, and anymore, you selfish lying manipulating gold-digging b*tch!
  
|
|
|
|
|
I don't show up later, and anymore, you selfish lying manipulating gold-digging b*tch!
See, I was a bit confused at this part. I feel trolled. Though my inner relationship hating self feels immesnsly vindicated.
|
|
|
On April 13 2012 02:50 TheToast wrote:Show nested quote + I don't show up later, and anymore, you selfish lying manipulating gold-digging b*tch! See, I was a bit confused at this part. I feel trolled. Though my inner relationship hating self feels immesnsly vindicated.
.. I'm still confused lol, explain please
|
On April 13 2012 02:51 heroofcanton wrote:
Allergic to noodles...?
Gluten allergy maybe?
|
I don't get the last sentence either lol
|
Great Story....but the ending omg i did not see that ending coming.....
|
On April 13 2012 02:54 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
I don't get the last sentence either lol
Yeah I still feel kind of dumb for not knowing. And ... I still don't get it
|
My take:
OP gives to much to this girl. Later, he finds out she betrayed him in some way (cheating, was stealing money, something of that nature). He then vents on this blog instead of tells her IRL. It also appears to be close to their "anniversary."
|
Soooo... she cheated in you I guess?
|
On April 13 2012 02:57 HardlyNever wrote:
My take:
OP gives to much to this girl. Later, he finds out she betrayed him in some way (cheating, was stealing money, something of that nature). He then vents on this blog instead of tells her IRL. It also appears to be close to their "anniversary."
See idk about this. This part here:
This time, I'll be the one asking a favor.
Makes me think he's made because she always is asking for shit and money and never giving anything back. But it sounds like she had sex with him. So that's pretty much a normal relationship lol.
|
So glad that I don't have such a relationship with my GF. In fact she doesn't like sweeting things up, she likes it the way it is, just like me. No bullshit things like valentinesday or something.
But then again, I can't help it that you would give up that last part of cheesecake, such a loss.
|
On April 13 2012 03:01 TheToast wrote:
Makes me think he's made because she always is asking for shit and money and never giving anything back. But it sounds like she had sex with him. So that's pretty much a normal relationship lol.
Really? Lol. That is such a sad cynic view of life. Guess I have to welcome myself to the real world then. I'm curious why people don't get what I mean... It is what I write it is.
Guess who's playing starcraft all day all night today!
|
Guess who's playing starcraft all day all night today!
So you dump the b*%$...  and if it make you feel better: Thumbs up!
|
On April 13 2012 03:07 gogoplex wrote:Show nested quote +On April 13 2012 03:01 TheToast wrote:
Makes me think he's made because she always is asking for shit and money and never giving anything back. But it sounds like she had sex with him. So that's pretty much a normal relationship lol. Really? Lol. That is such a sad cynic view of life. Guess I have to welcome myself to the real world then. I'm curious why people don't get what I mean... It is what I write it is. Guess who's playing starcraft all day all night today!
What can I say, I'm the Greg House of TL.
|
Hey TheToast I have a question.
Is that a serious fact that a normal relationship is like that? I had a gf too before but I was younger then. The difference is I cared enough before to actually have a nice mutual respectful breakup. This time I am just angry. I don'teven care if she cries or kills herself. I am angry mostly because I was so blind. It was all right before me and I realized it way later than I should have. But if what you are saying is true, the a normal relationship more or less is about the guy doing things out of the way and the girls just being demanding motherfucking bitches, then I am genuinely sad and not looking forward to the next one. Meh.
|
On April 13 2012 03:17 gogoplex wrote:
Hey TheToast I have a question.
Is that a serious fact that a normal relationship is like that? I had a gf too before but I was younger then. The difference is I cared enough before to actually have a nice mutual respectful breakup. This time I am just angry. I don'teven care if she cries or kills herself. I am angry mostly because I was so blind. It was all right before me and I realized it way later than I should have. But if what you are saying is true, the a normal relationship more or less is about the guy doing things out of the way and the girls just being demanding motherfucking bitches, then I am genuinely sad and not looking forward to the next one. Meh.
What TheToast described isn't a normal relationship. I don't know how he got such a view on that lol.
|
On April 13 2012 03:07 gogoplex wrote:Show nested quote +On April 13 2012 03:01 TheToast wrote:
Makes me think he's made because she always is asking for shit and money and never giving anything back. But it sounds like she had sex with him. So that's pretty much a normal relationship lol. Really? Lol. That is such a sad cynic view of life. Guess I have to welcome myself to the real world then. I'm curious why people don't get what I mean... It is what I write it is. Guess who's playing starcraft all day all night today!
Yeah cynical, but also often true. Just have to hold out/find the right relationship.
|
Someone just found out first hand the cunning ways of women. Bless you, child.
“Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.”
|
On April 13 2012 03:17 gogoplex wrote:
Hey TheToast I have a question.
Is that a serious fact that a normal relationship is like that? I had a gf too before but I was younger then. The difference is I cared enough before to actually have a nice mutual respectful breakup. This time I am just angry. I don'teven care if she cries or kills herself. I am angry mostly because I was so blind. It was all right before me and I realized it way later than I should have. But if what you are saying is true, the a normal relationship more or less is about the guy doing things out of the way and the girls just being demanding motherfucking bitches, then I am genuinely sad and not looking forward to the next one. Meh.
That is a serious fact when you make the relationship become like that.
There are two reason why you end up in this kind of relationship, like many young guys and myself included years back:
-The girl has this attitude
-You accept her attitude
Next girl advice:
-When you feel her demand is unreasonable say no (you are in a relationship, do things from time to time, but getting up at 2am to make food is a nono).
-Ask things yourself, there is truth in the joke "Make me a sandwich". This is your equalizer.
If the girl doesn't accept you saying no and want you to be her servant, ditch her and start with another. Well, don't ditch her instantaneously, she will cry or bitch around, threaten you with no sex or things like that. Just shrug it off pointing out its your right, and don't give up when she is being angry.
This is like a child, if you give up the fight when it cries it starts becoming an habit for him/her to cry when it wants something.
If things get more equal and respectful between each other it will be a huge win for the couple. If things starts getting worse and worse she doesn't respect you and your relationship should stop there.
The thing is though... it's very very common in girls to have the attitude. It's either genetic or just the fact that they are used to get their way with guys; I don't know. You just have to accept it, that you will probably have fights over it. Just see it as normal and don't beat yourself over it.
|
5/5 would read again.
... now most people could leave it at that, but as TL's #1 GBH (Girl Blog Hunter) how can I make such a hasty exit? After all, you added that drama flavour in the last sentence and it was oh-so-delicious!
Toast put it very bluntly for you, and rezoacken explained it in more detail above. I still don't recommend you throw the "make me a sammich" as an equalizer, I'm sure it was a joke in the post. I think the point was to get the concept of give-and-take, and not leading to a very one-sided relationship. No matter how much you appreciate the girl, and no matter how little it takes to satisfy you - you've got to keep your sanity in tact. Here's a line I used on some TL girl blog a couple weeks ago - if you want her to be your princess, you'd better be a prince yourself.
Other than that, not much to say - you did get a big realization yourself, and it seems like you've got your action plan (or the plan for no action, rather).
|
On April 13 2012 03:17 gogoplex wrote:
Hey TheToast I have a question.
Is that a serious fact that a normal relationship is like that? I had a gf too before but I was younger then. The difference is I cared enough before to actually have a nice mutual respectful breakup. This time I am just angry. I don'teven care if she cries or kills herself. I am angry mostly because I was so blind. It was all right before me and I realized it way later than I should have. But if what you are saying is true, the a normal relationship more or less is about the guy doing things out of the way and the girls just being demanding motherfucking bitches, then I am genuinely sad and not looking forward to the next one. Meh.
Everyone wants something, everyone is completely selfish some level. Men usually want regular predictable sex, and women usually want someone to do shit for them. Then after a while a number of chemicals in the brain cause each other to believe they "love" each other. Evolution at work.
This does take other forms though, some people just don't want to be alone; others want someone to take care of to make themselves feel important and useful. Anyway you slice it, it comes back to the fact that people are entirely and completely selfish. We all are only interested in how much shit we can get out of something.
Have you ever met an old couple who have been married for like 50 years? Usually the interaction consists of the wife commanding around their husband like a house servant and the man doddering along obliviously. Despite the sex being long gone, the man is still stuck doing shit for his wife because his brain's chemistry has been permanently altered.
On April 13 2012 03:23 Drorctopus wrote:Show nested quote +On April 13 2012 03:17 gogoplex wrote:
Hey TheToast I have a question.
Is that a serious fact that a normal relationship is like that? I had a gf too before but I was younger then. The difference is I cared enough before to actually have a nice mutual respectful breakup. This time I am just angry. I don'teven care if she cries or kills herself. I am angry mostly because I was so blind. It was all right before me and I realized it way later than I should have. But if what you are saying is true, the a normal relationship more or less is about the guy doing things out of the way and the girls just being demanding motherfucking bitches, then I am genuinely sad and not looking forward to the next one. Meh. What TheToast described isn't a normal relationship. I don't know how he got such a view on that lol.
Life, my friend.
|
I'm confused why people are confused by this blog?
I think almost everyone had an experience with a girl that has been totally unreasonable and not knowing how to handle that become a "victim" of a girl.
Glad to hear that op finally realized that. Definitely time to move on and use this as a learning experience.
|
I realized it was really so horrible I don't even fucking care about the breakup sex anymore. Here she is ringing me to death.
I was pretty cold the last few days, so I think she gets it as well, and knowing her, she won't even bother initiate anything and just wait for me to make the arrangement. Well I'm properly arranged now on my desk with my Starcraft b*tch, and you can go to hell.
If you understand the degree of terribleness of this relationship, would you call me a jerk if I just let this day pass withtout a word, not answer her call, or any of her attempts to contact me. I plan to just text her on Monday "It's over." Is this a good idea?
By the way, what does "make me a sandwich" mean? Is it some code? Or is it literally making her do things you want...
|
Most people have at least one relationship like this: one person puts everything into it, and the other person takes advantage of them (in whatever way). Saying it's very very common for women to want you to 'be a servant' is like saying it's very very common for men to 'just want sex'. It comes from an element of truth, but it would be stupid to take it as truth. There are far too many places on the spectrum that people land, and it's not gender exclusive. Plenty of women want to be spoiled a little, and plenty of men want sex, and those things are fine. If you ever find yourself in a relationship where you are giving the other person what they want and not getting what you want, it's time to talk about it. If they aren't interested in changing things, it's time to leave.
I don't quite see why you plan to wait to tell her its over. But w/e no, it doesn't make you a jerk, maybe just a tad bit less mature.
"make me a sandwich" is of similar caliber to "get back to the kitchen bitch", but it basically means "can you do something for me". I suggest you don't use language of that kind with anyone you want to to keep, but the principle is good-- give and take.
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
On April 13 2012 04:16 RedJustice wrote:
Most people have at least one relationship like this: one person puts everything into it, and the other person takes advantage of them (in whatever way). Saying it's very very common for women to want you to 'be a servant' is like saying it's very very common for men to 'just want sex'. It comes from an element of truth, but it would be stupid to take it as truth. There are far too many places on the spectrum that people land, and it's not gender exclusive. Plenty of women want to be spoiled a little, and plenty of men want sex, and those things are fine. If you ever find yourself in a relationship where you are giving the other person what they want and not getting what you want, it's time to talk about it. If they aren't interested in changing things, it's time to leave.
I don't quite see why you plan to wait to tell her its over. But w/e no, it doesn't make you a jerk, maybe just a tad bit less mature.
"make me a sandwich" is of similar caliber to "get back to the kitchen bitch", but it basically means "can you do something for me". I suggest you don't use language of that kind with anyone you want to to keep, but the principle is good-- give and take.
'make me a sandwhich' is used often in any healthy relationship
|
It's true, Rek makes me sandwiches all the time when I ask for em.
he's such a sweetheart. ^_^
|
On April 13 2012 04:03 gogoplex wrote:
I realized it was really so horrible I don't even fucking care about the breakup sex anymore. Here she is ringing me to death.
I was pretty cold the last few days, so I think she gets it as well, and knowing her, she won't even bother initiate anything and just wait for me to make the arrangement. Well I'm properly arranged now on my desk with my Starcraft b*tch, and you can go to hell.
If you understand the degree of terribleness of this relationship, would you call me a jerk if I just let this day pass withtout a word, not answer her call, or any of her attempts to contact me. I plan to just text her on Monday "It's over." Is this a good idea?
By the way, what does "make me a sandwich" mean? Is it some code? Or is it literally making her do things you want...
Oh no! You are gonna break up by phone?! So sad to see this kind of attitude, do it like a man and tell her to her face, "This relationaship is over, you gold digging bitch, goodbye!" (Don't actually say that, just do it face to face instead of by phone).
|
On April 13 2012 04:03 gogoplex wrote:
I realized it was really so horrible I don't even fucking care about the breakup sex anymore. Here she is ringing me to death.
I was pretty cold the last few days, so I think she gets it as well, and knowing her, she won't even bother initiate anything and just wait for me to make the arrangement. Well I'm properly arranged now on my desk with my Starcraft b*tch, and you can go to hell.
If you understand the degree of terribleness of this relationship, would you call me a jerk if I just let this day pass withtout a word, not answer her call, or any of her attempts to contact me. I plan to just text her on Monday "It's over." Is this a good idea?
By the way, what does "make me a sandwich" mean? Is it some code? Or is it literally making her do things you want...
(This is a response to other posts as well)
When I say "Make me a sandwish" you should in fact say "Please, can you make me a sandwich ?". If you want a sandwish and are somewhat busy.
If you want a coffee just put coffee instead of sandwich. So just take "make a sandwich" as a metaphore for "make something for me", it's just that the "make me a sandwich" is some kind of internet joke so I liked putting it there.
Sometimes she'll say yes, sometimes no, in a healthy relationship. You should accept both responses as acceptable. Exactly like you should make her a sandwich sometimes, but not always. And she should find both response acceptable.
Accepting a no is Respect, saying yes sometimes is Love.
Both element should show respect AND love to the other.
Therefore it's also your right to expect him/her to do something for you here and there. Damn my girl get pissed sometimes because I have a tendency to say no too much, and I understand her frustration.
Saying always yes is worshiping, saying always no is being selfish (and love is not selfish).
Hmmm looks like I was in a poet mood today.
Edit: An image is worth a thousand words
![[image loading]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mL20htFifzQ/T3EVC6sg72I/AAAAAAAAADM/cy_vXrTShws/s1600/balance.jpg)
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
