|
This is part 2. Part 1 is here
So yesterday I decided to chat with her on Facebook. Probably my best decision so far. It was kinda tense at first then after we moved the topic to "marriage" she started to loosen up. She also agreed to go buy a dictionary with me sometimes. At this end I felt really great, and she was smiling with "hihi" etc. too.
Then came today. A few hours ago we started another conversation, also went great cuz I complimented her looks and apparently no one had told her she was pretty before. She asked me about another cute girl in my class and I said "in my opinion you are still prettier". She said "omg I'm so happy, don't think I can sleep tonight!". Then we talked about her weight and she said she was doing exercises to lose weight so she can wear a dress. I said I look forward to seeing you in a dress!.
She: but I only wear a dress when I go out, so you probably won't see it.
Me: So if I ask you out would you go?
She: My house has 2 people
I think you should go with both of us
Apparently she's living with another girl, who's also my classmate. This girl is not as pretty and is still single. I was like "oh man WTF". My mind went blank for a moment. Then
Me: who? L (her friend's name)???
She: Yes
I always go with her
I'll be worried if I leave her home alone
hehe
Me: Then we'll go three
She: So? (at the same time with my last message, so she probably didn't see it).
Me: teehee
She: Three of us
I'm so happy
Chatting with A (my name) is so fun!
Me: ^^
Then the topic moved to how I would like to live with a roommate so I have smn to study together, and she telling me they only have fun together, not study together cuz L is hard working and she's lazy. Then I lost motivation and talked about the coming exam, her teacher getting married last year etc.
Now I'm stuck. I can understand why she wants to bring a friend to our date though. That girl was there for her when she was really sick and had to be taken to the hospital etc. So she probably doesn't want to be having all the fun.
The right thing to do now seem to be getting close with both of them, but I don't know if I have the patience (and money) to go through all that.
After a long silence she logged off without saying anything.
I guess our next face to face counter (this Tuesday) will determine if I should continue or just quit.
 
|
This is how dating works. Every girl has that homely friend that needs to be set up.
Find a friend that owes you a favor. If nobody does, find a friend who'll want you to owe them a favor.
Do not lead your poor-sap friend on that this girl is remotely attractive. Let him know what he's getting himself into, or he may cockblock you out of spite.
GL HF
|
United States22883 Posts
I think you're overthinking it. It sounds like you were clear enough and she still likes you, she's just being good to her very close friend. That doesn't mean she'll always put her friend first, though.
Basically, if you can't find her friend a companion, don't sweat it too much until it starts reoccurring a lot.
|
I'm reminded of a certain Steven Lynch song...
You pay your friend back AFTERWARDS for coming along (pay beforehand and he might chicken out and go for the chick you want.) Like Durp said, the friend has to know what he's getting into. Pictures in advance are an excellent idea. An important thing: Do NOT bring a friend who's desperate and wouldn't be able to seal the deal. An awkward buddy will RUIN your night.
Fair warning, she might actually be leading you on a bit to try and set her friend up with you. This is known to happen occasionally. If you catch even the SLIGHTEST whiff of this, bail. Don't even try to be graceful, as a reputation for leading chicks on can ruin you within their circle of acquaintances.
If she's just trying to bring the friend along as a buffer in case it doesn't go well, you should be fine. This is most likely what's happening, and if it's the case, just be graceful about it.
Hell, this hardly even counts as a proper girl blog, she knows you exist...
|
Be blunt, tell her that you are interested in her, but you have no problem going out as a group. From out of no where she might start asking what you think about her friend etc... Then it turns out her friend was interested in you the whole time. From the conversations you posted that doesn't seem to be the case but, with girls logic holds no water.
|
On March 25 2012 02:01 jcroisdale wrote:
Be blunt, tell her that you are interested in her, but you have no problem going out as a group. From out of no where she might start asking what you think about her friend etc... Then it turns out her friend was interested in you the whole time. From the conversations you posted that doesn't seem to be the case but, with girls logic holds no water.
This guy speaks the truth! You could be thinking this whole time that shes into you, when in reality she is trying to set her friend up with you lol. I would definitely bring a male friend and try to set those 2 up. It will allow you to focus on the girl you like without her 3rd wheel friend constantly being involved in your conversations etc. Im also pretty sure taking the time to bring someone for her friend will score you pretty big brownie points 
|
Bringing a friend along is basically a backdoor incase shit goes haywire. Literally if everything goes wrong, or she gets uncomfortable, her friend can get a stomach ache and get her out of it or have to go to the bathroom and then they are out of it. Basically she is a shit-test either that or she is being a really good friend.
|
Canada5062 Posts
Agree with Jibba, you are over thinking this. Women have great difficulty being direct about their feelings. While the obliqueness of their approach can often be frustrating, it's the natural product of generations of genetic and social programming, so there is little you can do, other than to deal with it.
Ignore the fact that she's bringing her friend along. It is immaterial. It's merely a comfort device, a backup, an escape hatch to use in case things go sideways.
Good luck.
|
The fact that she wants to bring a friend probably means she doesn't like you. But like other posters have said, you need to be direct and make it 100% clear what you want, only then will she give you a 100% clear answer. If the answer is no, then don't worry about it, it's better to find out now than waste weeks or months trying to figure it out.
|
No intention of being cocky or anything like that but I have to say .. I never knew people still talked like that at 21.
|
On March 25 2012 03:57 ziggurat wrote:
The fact that she wants to bring a friend probably means she doesn't like you. But like other posters have said, you need to be direct and make it 100% clear what you want, only then will she give you a 100% clear answer. If the answer is no, then don't worry about it, it's better to find out now than waste weeks or months trying to figure it out.
That or she's just shy...
Take the girl aside, and be firm and direct, it's better than being unsure.
|
On March 25 2012 01:22 Garnet wrote:
So yesterday I decided to chat with her on Facebook. Probably my best decision so far. It was kinda tense at first then after we moved the topic to "marriage" she started to loosen up. She also agreed to go buy a dictionary with me sometimes.
... I have no words.
For some reason I don't understand the process here ...
Day 1: chat for the first time. Bring up marriage. Then, agree to buy a dictionary.
... man, dating have changed since I was young :/
Either way, good luck to you 
|
On March 25 2012 05:24 aebriol wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2012 01:22 Garnet wrote:
So yesterday I decided to chat with her on Facebook. Probably my best decision so far. It was kinda tense at first then after we moved the topic to "marriage" she started to loosen up. She also agreed to go buy a dictionary with me sometimes. ... I have no words. For some reason I don't understand the process here ... Day 1: chat for the first time. Bring up marriage. Then, agree to buy a dictionary. ... man, dating have changed since I was young :/ Either way, good luck to you
Instead of rings they use English Dictionaries there to show that you want to learn another language with the person and be together long term. Marriage is often discussed on a first meeting to display that you are interested in long term and not short term.
It's really quite simple.
|
On March 25 2012 03:42 mensrea wrote:
|
On March 25 2012 05:24 aebriol wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2012 01:22 Garnet wrote:
So yesterday I decided to chat with her on Facebook. Probably my best decision so far. It was kinda tense at first then after we moved the topic to "marriage" she started to loosen up. She also agreed to go buy a dictionary with me sometimes. ... I have no words. For some reason I don't understand the process here ... Day 1: chat for the first time. Bring up marriage. Then, agree to buy a dictionary. ... man, dating have changed since I was young :/ Either way, good luck to you
hahah..
good luck with the date sir
|
Its called playing the game, just gotta play the game lolol..
|
On March 25 2012 01:32 Jibba wrote:
I think you're overthinking it. It sounds like you were clear enough and she still likes you, she's just being good to her very close friend. That doesn't mean she'll always put her friend first, though.
Basically, if you can't find her friend a companion, don't sweat it too much until it starts reoccurring a lot.
This man speaks the truth. I thought the same thing with your original post, though I tried different advice.
Have you even asked her out yet? You really should. And if she insists her friend comes along you can either find a friend who will go with (a wingman, essentially), or insist that you two go alone.
|
|
|
|
|
Quit fb chatting and talk to her in RL.
|
Great title. "Seal" the deal.
|
I'm confused by the way the OP is written.
Did she ask for you to find her friend a date or something? Wat...
Anyway, my first impression was just so her friend can approve or disapprove of you.
|
On March 25 2012 19:13 Tipany wrote:
I'm confused by the way the OP is written.
Did she ask for you to find her friend a date or something? Wat...
Anyway, my first impression was just so her friend can approve or disapprove of you.
No, I think she feels burdened to leave her friend alone to go out with me.
|
Something reeks about the whole situation...
I also would've been far more direct about the 'date' just being between the two of you.
|
On March 25 2012 22:58 Garnet wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2012 19:13 Tipany wrote:
I'm confused by the way the OP is written.
Did she ask for you to find her friend a date or something? Wat...
Anyway, my first impression was just so her friend can approve or disapprove of you. No, I think she feels burdened to leave her friend alone to go out with me.
That's the whole point... you're supposed to think that (assuming what I said is right, of course).
|
Calgary25980 Posts
Everyone has such strong advice.
I think you're doing just fine. Play on player.
|
Do you have a friend she always sees you around with? Maybe she's trying to hook her friend up with your friend ^^
|
This is quite common. Ive been with my girl for two years and on our "first-date" she brought along her housemate. All you do is have a casual night and then when it is over ask her for a proper date with just the two of you. She just wants to make sure you aren't some crazy. Girls are really careful about being along with someone they hardly know.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
