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Sigh, I really thought I wasn't going to do this again but eh.
Hey guys, I just want to get your advice as im confused on what im doing is right, or what I should do.
So I wen't out with a girl about 2 weeks ago? and our date was on the weekend on the same week, we went out to a local district and went shopping and yadda yadda. And I flunked it, the date, in my opinion was terrible because it wasn't a date, all we did was talk about each other for like 2 or 3 hours, had a few good laughs, sure.
Anyway, so its been two weeks now and she seems to be busy or she doesn't talk to me much anymore because she has meetings as she is performing at a concert not too long from now and also she has lots of studies to do, me as well of course (We would talk on facebook a lot) Because of the teenage hormones I just keep assuming that she has lost feeling for me and that is why she hardly talks to me online anymore.
We do talk a lot after school because we walk the same direction towards home and I tend to wait for her. She's a bit socially awkward and tends to hide her emotions, in my opinion. I can't tell anything from her.
The thing is, i'm completely obsessed, I wait for her on facebook after school ffs lol, (Well.. just keep facebook on then checking every 3 hours or so but you know what I mean) which is insane, if I didn't have these feelings I would've left just like that.
Theres so much things I want to tell her but I feel like a completely wuss and couldn't get myself to say it, which I regret pretty much every single moment I think about it, which I think about a lot.
Anyway, the real purpose of this blog; I was going to ask her out to a proper date this weekend, I learnt my lesson and I'm sure I can stick up this time.
BTW, sorry Chill.
What do you think guys? Good? bad? Or any other suggestions?
Sorry if this does sound pretty bitchy, I'm just a teen, lol.
Always can count on my Teamliquid family to help me up and boost my confidence ^^ Thank ya'll but now I shall sleep within the bed.
 
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I think the age old credo applies.
Imagine if she called you up or whatever, you would jump at the chance to rush over there.
Now ask yourself why she isn't replying in the same way. Probably because she doesn't feel the same way.
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On March 12 2012 18:45 zalz wrote:
I think the age old credo applies.
Imagine if she called you up or whatever, you would jump at the chance to rush over there.
Now ask yourself why she isn't replying in the same way. Probably because she doesn't feel the same way.
Or because she's a woman and our culture dictates that the male has to conquer the female (or something like that).
Obviously you want more with her, so just try the second date. Nothing will happen if you just continue the way you are doing now (talking with her so now and then). Hopefully she will be clear about whether she likes you or not 
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On March 12 2012 18:45 zalz wrote:
I think the age old credo applies.
Imagine if she called you up or whatever, you would jump at the chance to rush over there.
Now ask yourself why she isn't replying in the same way. Probably because she doesn't feel the same way.
See thats one of the tough thing, I know this is a possibility but I refuse it to be true no matter what. ._.
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On March 12 2012 18:49 Liveon wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:45 zalz wrote:
I think the age old credo applies.
Imagine if she called you up or whatever, you would jump at the chance to rush over there.
Now ask yourself why she isn't replying in the same way. Probably because she doesn't feel the same way. Or because she's a woman and our culture dictates that the male has to conquer the female (or something like that). Obviously you want more with her, so just try the second date. Nothing will happen if you just continue the way you are doing now (talking with her so now and then). Hopefully she will be clear about whether she likes you or not
I very much hope so, and if not then I'll just have to take it head on and move on. :D Thank you.
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On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
She's a bit socially awkward and tends to hide her emotions, in my opinion. I can't tell anything from her.
On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
Theres so much things I want to tell her but I feel like a completely wuss and couldn't get myself to say it, which I regret pretty much every single moment I think about it, which I think about a lot.
Maybe she thinks that you are a bit socially awkward and tends to hide her emotions and there are so much things she wants to tell you but she feels like a wuss and couldn't get herself to say it.
It's funny that you call her socially awkward for not sharing her emotions while you can't do any better.
You guys could be in love with each other and never say it.
Talk to her, either she indeed lost her interest in you and you have nothing to lose, either she didn't, and you have everything to win.
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Who initializes all the conversations?
If it's you, stop and see how long it takes her to do it.
On March 12 2012 18:51 endy wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
She's a bit socially awkward and tends to hide her emotions, in my opinion. I can't tell anything from her.
Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
Theres so much things I want to tell her but I feel like a completely wuss and couldn't get myself to say it, which I regret pretty much every single moment I think about it, which I think about a lot.
Maybe she thinks that you are a bit socially awkward and tend to hide your emotions and there are so much things she wants to tell you but she feels like a wuss and couldn't get herself to say it. It's funny that you call her socially awkward for not sharing her emotions while you can't do any better. You guys could be in love with each other and never say it. Talk to her, either she indeed lost her interest in you and you have nothing to lose, either she didn't, and you have everything to win.
Also this.
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On March 12 2012 18:51 endy wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
She's a bit socially awkward and tends to hide her emotions, in my opinion. I can't tell anything from her.
Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
Theres so much things I want to tell her but I feel like a completely wuss and couldn't get myself to say it, which I regret pretty much every single moment I think about it, which I think about a lot.
Maybe she thinks that you are a bit socially awkward and tends to hide her emotions and there are so much things she wants to tell you but she feels like a wuss and couldn't get herself to say it. It's funny that you call her socially awkward for not sharing her emotions while you can't do any better. You guys could be in love with each other and never say it. Talk to her, either she indeed lost her interest in you and you have nothing to lose, either she didn't, and you have everything to win.
That thought never occurred to me... I was always hypocritical with things. And I think it's because my minds really mixed up right now with confusion, which is the point of this thread.
The bolded part is going to help me a lot more than you think, thank you Its always nice to know its a win-win situation, i'll get back to you if you wish.
+ Show Spoiler +I can't get Bolded out of spelling error.
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On March 12 2012 18:52 Cyber_Cheese wrote:Who initializes all the conversations?
If it's you, stop and see how long it takes her to do it.Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:51 endy wrote:On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
She's a bit socially awkward and tends to hide her emotions, in my opinion. I can't tell anything from her.
On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
Theres so much things I want to tell her but I feel like a completely wuss and couldn't get myself to say it, which I regret pretty much every single moment I think about it, which I think about a lot.
Maybe she thinks that you are a bit socially awkward and tend to hide your emotions and there are so much things she wants to tell you but she feels like a wuss and couldn't get herself to say it. It's funny that you call her socially awkward for not sharing her emotions while you can't do any better. You guys could be in love with each other and never say it. Talk to her, either she indeed lost her interest in you and you have nothing to lose, either she didn't, and you have everything to win. Also this.
She's an extremely quiet type sort of person, she tends to not start any conversations, an example is that she doesn't know how to engage me, I'm free all there waiting for her but she seems to be just of like just quiet, even though she knows that we were walking home together...... and I had to start it all off so far... Or else I fear that we'll just drift apart, I'll do the waiting strategy later, when we're more acknowledged with each other.
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Hi Azera!!!!!
Why u not bloggin anymoa?
And how has your education been so far?
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Ugh shopping for a first date? Horrible, horrible choice!
Oh did you bother asking her out again after the 'first date' in the first place?
Just ask her out, preferably something like coffee/dinner/lunch and not shopping. Ask when she's free and get her out then, if she doesn't want to go out she probably isn't interested and you should re-evaluate your feelings for her.
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You fucked up. She's not interested. Stalking her isn't going to make her interested, just more distant. It sucks but you gotta give her space and if you really want her then work on being the kinda person that would impress her rather then stalking her on facebook everyday.
gl
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On March 12 2012 19:11 FractalsOnFire wrote:
Ugh shopping for a first date? Horrible, horrible choice!
Oh did you bother asking her out again after the 'first date' in the first place?
Just ask her out, preferably something like coffee/dinner/lunch and not shopping. Ask when she's free and get her out then, if she doesn't want to go out she probably isn't interested and you should re-evaluate your feelings for her.
I was gonna ask tomorrow If I have the chance, actually :D
On March 12 2012 19:12 Epoch wrote:
You fucked up. She's not interested. Stalking her isn't going to make her interested, just more distant. It sucks but you gotta give her space and if you really want her then work on being the kinda person that would impress her rather then stalking her on facebook everyday.
gl
Uh.. I'm not sure how I'm stalking her?
All I do is check messenger and chat lol.
On March 12 2012 19:27 Pandemona wrote:Awww teenage love Bless. Those were the days ;; But yeah, you have 2 choices, be the "gentleman" give her time space yadda yadda wait until she comes to you, keep being her friend talk to her whenever you can (when she is online, walking home from school etc) or... You tell her your feelings on the next walk home from school (if you think you can face to face) or if you can't do that, then tell her on facebook. My personal opinion would be to hold off just a bit longer, ask her out on another date. Try to make her feel like its a "date" this time though and maybe take her to movie and not shopping ;; shopping is hell bro! If not its summer in New Zealand right? Take her for a walk etc. Then keep "asking her out" every weekend or whenever she is free so you can keep showing your feelings rather than saying them, then before you know it you will realise the answer without asking her at all! I hope to god you don't get freind zoned though!! So good luck
Sadly, summers over and the weathers been bloody terrible  I really really don't like using Facebook to ask people out or tell people stuff about how I feel, just doesn't feel right y'know?
But thank you for the ecouragement. Yes, I planned to ask her out tomorrow actually, and I really do hope we don't walk into that dastardly place known as the friend zone haha.
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I feel for you bro, you might just be in the friend zone. That having been said if you treat her like a bestie then you are probs gonna get one :/
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On March 12 2012 19:35 Mazaire wrote:
I feel for you bro, you might just be in the friend zone. That having been said if you treat her like a bestie then you are probs gonna get one :/
I actually think your spot on in this post, I feel like i've treated her as a friend too much, well I'm gonna stop and learn mah lesson if that doesn't work because time already ran out for me, then, oh well I guess I have to look for someone else another time. :3
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On March 12 2012 19:37 RogerX wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 19:35 Mazaire wrote:
I feel for you bro, you might just be in the friend zone. That having been said if you treat her like a bestie then you are probs gonna get one :/ I actually think your spot on in this post, I feel like i've treated her as a friend too much, well I'm gonna stop and learn mah lesson if that doesn't work because time already ran out for me, then, oh well I guess I have to look for someone else another time. :3
:D That's the spirit, never give up never surrender!! Defiantly when you find a person who seems to fit your personality better or mesh with you better (giggidy), you will find that you are the one who is being bombarded with facebook messages and texts ^_^ its a rather nice feeling. Even quite people like the girl you described here would do something similar in their own way.
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When you walk back with her, do you hold her hand?
Physical contact is kinda important.
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On March 12 2012 19:48 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
When you walk back with her, do you hold her hand?
Physical contact is kinda important.
Hmm.. Unfortunately... No.
Thats the part I do wish I would go onto though  Perhaps when I finally break the social awkward barrier(Soon) We can.
On March 12 2012 19:44 Mazaire wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 19:37 RogerX wrote:On March 12 2012 19:35 Mazaire wrote:
I feel for you bro, you might just be in the friend zone. That having been said if you treat her like a bestie then you are probs gonna get one :/ I actually think your spot on in this post, I feel like i've treated her as a friend too much, well I'm gonna stop and learn mah lesson if that doesn't work because time already ran out for me, then, oh well I guess I have to look for someone else another time. :3 :D That's the spirit, never give up never surrender!! Defiantly when you find a person who seems to fit your personality better or mesh with you better (giggidy), you will find that you are the one who is being bombarded with facebook messages and texts ^_^ its a rather nice feeling. Even quite people like the girl you described here would do something similar in their own way.
It'll be really really tough for me to move on, but life goes on I guess :D
Thank you.
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The naked man should sort this shit out fairly quickly, though it probably doesn't reach peek efficiency until the target is a little older.
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What's the worst thing she could say? "Sorry, no"
If she says no then that pretty much answers all your questions and you dont have to worry about her anymore. If she says yes then chalk it up that she might like you and continue your quest! Teens are pretty awkward in general, just asking her will set you appart from many others. You'll be surprised at how easy it is and how often they will answer with a yes.
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On March 12 2012 19:54 RogerX wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 19:48 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
When you walk back with her, do you hold her hand?
Physical contact is kinda important. Hmm.. Unfortunately... No. Thats the part I do wish I would go onto though Perhaps when I finally break the social awkward barrier(Soon) We can.
Just find excuses to make physical contact where you can
e.g
If she's depressed some day, hug her.
If she asks for something, grab her hand and put the object in.
The contact doesn't have to be necessary by any stretch of the imagination.
Hell, just act depressed, and say you need someone to hold for a while, tell her she makes everything better.
+ Show Spoiler [your lines] +Hey, can I talk with you?
There's this really cute girl i know, -talk about some similarities, maybe how awesome she is*
I went out on a date with her a while back, but we never really scheduled a second one, and I'm not sure where I stand, and it's depressing me, I think I need a hug
**Obviously this could be improved, but yeah
By the way, if 'all you did' was talk about each other on a date, I'd say it didn't go half as badly as you thought. It was a first date and all...
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On March 12 2012 18:52 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
Who initializes all the conversations?
If it's you, stop and see how long it takes her to do it.
I tried this, about 7 months ago, still haven't heard a thing T.T . Pretty clear who was into who though
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Ok, if you think you're obsessed with this girl then you've probably gone overboard. I say this because we tend to give ourselves leniency when we're being creepy. If you're obsessing then it's not fair to her. Sounds like great date material, too - "I check your facebook constantly for an update!.....uhhhhh.....you like nice this evening!".
Teenage hormones, indeed. I've been there, too. If you're obsessing then you're thinking too much and need action in form of another date or getting over her. Good luck!
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does she even know you saw the shopping thing as a date??? sounds like something a girl would do with her gay bff.
I didnt read any of the comments in here but yes, just ask her out on a real fucking date, if she likes you she'll say yes, if she doesn't then you can know for sure and let the fuck go.
and dont worry, being friendzoned is part of growing up for many people ^^, just learn from it and dont make the same mistakes again
On March 12 2012 20:21 Cyber_Cheese wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 19:54 RogerX wrote:On March 12 2012 19:48 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
When you walk back with her, do you hold her hand?
Physical contact is kinda important. Hmm.. Unfortunately... No. Thats the part I do wish I would go onto though Perhaps when I finally break the social awkward barrier(Soon) We can. Just find excuses to make physical contact where you can e.g If she's depressed some day, hug her. If she asks for something, grab her hand and put the object in. The contact doesn't have to be necessary by any stretch of the imagination. Hell, just act depressed, and say you need someone to hold for a while, tell her she makes everything better. + Show Spoiler [your lines] +Hey, can I talk with you?
There's this really cute girl i know, -talk about some similarities, maybe how awesome she is*
I went out on a date with her a while back, but we never really scheduled a second one, and I'm not sure where I stand, and it's depressing me, I think I need a hug
**Obviously this could be improved, but yeah By the way, if 'all you did' was talk about each other on a date, I'd say it didn't go half as badly as you thought. It was a first date and all...
I'm OK with the first physical contact part but the acting depressed, telling her she makes everything better, and talking about "this really cute girl" all sound like terrible, terrible advice.
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Does this girl not have a phone, do you not have one? I only ask because I didn't have a phone until I was 17. I didn't ever want one, they're annoying. I agree ask her out on a date, try some physical contact be for lack of better word "flirty." It works wonders.
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On March 12 2012 23:31 7mk wrote:does she even know you saw the shopping thing as a date??? sounds like something a girl would do with her gay bff. I didnt read any of the comments in here but yes, just ask her out on a real fucking date, if she likes you she'll say yes, if she doesn't then you can know for sure and let the fuck go. and dont worry, being friendzoned is part of growing up for many people ^^, just learn from it and dont make the same mistakes again Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 20:21 Cyber_Cheese wrote:On March 12 2012 19:54 RogerX wrote:On March 12 2012 19:48 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
When you walk back with her, do you hold her hand?
Physical contact is kinda important. Hmm.. Unfortunately... No. Thats the part I do wish I would go onto though Perhaps when I finally break the social awkward barrier(Soon) We can. Just find excuses to make physical contact where you can e.g If she's depressed some day, hug her. If she asks for something, grab her hand and put the object in. The contact doesn't have to be necessary by any stretch of the imagination. Hell, just act depressed, and say you need someone to hold for a while, tell her she makes everything better. + Show Spoiler [your lines] +Hey, can I talk with you?
There's this really cute girl i know, -talk about some similarities, maybe how awesome she is*
I went out on a date with her a while back, but we never really scheduled a second one, and I'm not sure where I stand, and it's depressing me, I think I need a hug
**Obviously this could be improved, but yeah By the way, if 'all you did' was talk about each other on a date, I'd say it didn't go half as badly as you thought. It was a first date and all... I'm OK with the first physical contact part but the acting depressed, telling her she makes everything better, and talking about "this really cute girl" all sound like terrible, terrible advice.
Well... something along those lines worked for me once, because I was too chicken to straight up talk with her.
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Well yea I will say that anything is better than not making your intentions clear
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On March 12 2012 20:47 Liveon wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:52 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
Who initializes all the conversations?
If it's you, stop and see how long it takes her to do it.
I tried this, about 7 months ago, still haven't heard a thing T.T . Pretty clear who was into who though
Youch, thats rough.
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Fear not, the OpticalShot is here. Yes, the self-claimed unofficial Girl Blog Hunter (GBH) of TL. I give very biased opinions and sometimes they come off as troll. While that is not my direct intent, some days I don't feel like thinking twice about giving girl blog advices so I let my fingers loose on the keyboard and off they go.
Not this day.
So let's begin with your fine lass. She's got you, man.
On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
The thing is, i'm completely obsessed, I wait for her on facebook after school ffs lol, (Well.. just keep facebook on then checking every 3 hours or so but you know what I mean) which is insane, if I didn't have these feelings I would've left just like that.
Definitely not the start you want. Even if you think she's the one forever and ever and you can't go a minute without thinking about how tasty her lips would be and [the nsfw thoughts] so on, you have to keep yourself in check. Making irrational decisions only work on rare occasions (like in K-drama). Follow your common sense.
On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
Anyway, so its been two weeks now and she seems to be busy or she doesn't talk to me much anymore because she has meetings as she is performing at a concert not too long from now and also she has lots of studies to do, me as well of course (We would talk on facebook a lot) Because of the teenage hormones I just keep assuming that she has lost feeling for me and that is why she hardly talks to me online anymore.
I understand that you can't help talking to her online. There are so many things you want to share and discuss with her and you can hardly wait for the next day. Some days you are busy, some days she is busy, then there is almost no face-to-face talk time. Put together a string of busy days, and maybe you two can't meet for a week or more. Tragedy, tragedy! Or, is it?
When you talk to her online, she is satisfying her "dose of conversation" with you as well. So in that sense, she doesn't feel as inclined to meet you in person. She's already done talking about her favourite band, or her exam worries, or about her new puppy. I'm going to extend this to you as well - when you talk to her about everything online, you don't have the same motivation to see her face-to-face. You've exhausted your news and she's exhausted hers in the previous night's chat, so when you do meet in person, what do you talk about? Hmmm...
Anyway, let's move on to the real talk about friendzone and how to get out and whether you're in and so on. We're only halfway through this.
My fair evaluation is that yes, you've been so called "friendzoned". I put that in quotations because nowadays people over-generalize the friendzone and basically label everything non-sex-relationship as friendzone. Really, it doesn't mean you don't have any chances with her. I'm not downplaying the fact that first impressions are probably the strongest, but who says you can't change? I'm not talking about changing yourself for her sake alone, I'm talking about a general self-improvement kind of thing.
Hey, but you still have a good chance. After all, she agreed on the first date, that means at least you're not a hideous creature to her. Friendzone or not, she agreed to spending her time with you and you alone. For the next date, let me drop a couple advices that you should tailor to your specific situation.
- Physical-contact-date: A typical "dinner-and-coffee" date is fine for having a relaxed conversation and all, but it establishes no physical contact. I'm a big fan of dinner-and-coffee kind of thing, but this ain't the thing to get a relationship started. You need some sort of natural physical contact. I recommend activities like bowling and pool. You gotta man the fuck up, get behind her and get her posture right. Be patient if she's a noob (be playful if she's a pro... actually, be playful in general). Don't go too easy on her - keep the game competitive so that she's immersed enough to not resist high-five's or hugs after awesome plays. You can make almost anything in to physical contact if you seriously man the fuck up. Shopping? It helps if the mall is packed with people, but regardless, you could be holding her hand or at least tugging her shoulders close to you so that you don't get lost in the crowd.
- Confidence: Why do people say nice guys finish last? Aside from the odd exceptions, it's because "nice" guys can't grow a pair to enjoy the date for themselves. Those "nice" guys try to cater the date so hard for the girl that it becomes annoying and tiresome at the end, despite the intentions. "What do you want to eat?" "Oh I don't care I can eat anything I don't mind so what do you want to eat?" "No, well I didn't quite think of this through..." "Me neither but I'm fine with anything and I know all the different restaurants around this area so whatever you want I know where to go so what do you want to eat?" SEE, THIS IS GOING NOWHERE. The hell, if the girl asks you what you want to eat, you answer what you want to eat. You want fucking fried chicken? Then say "hey, I'm craving some fried chicken." This is a really simple example but this is where the "nice guys" set the first foot in the friendzone. Stop catering for the girl. Have some confidence in your choices and preferences - if the girl doesn't share the same, shrug it and move along. "You don't like fried chicken? Well that's unfortunate, do you have any suggestions? Sushi? Raw fish ain't my type, but let's go to that Japanese restaurant so you can get sushi and I can get some delicious chicken katsu." I'm not saying be a complete jerk and boss her around. I'm saying that you should be confident in yourself, let her know what you like and what you don't like, and work it out after. She'll feel great if she sees you having a great time as well. If you want her to be your princess, you'd better be a prince yourself.
That's about it for now. On top of that, there are all the cliche things like be yourself, be honest, don't be a white knight, let her take the lead sometimes, mutual respect, etc., but I don't need to go in detail, right? I think you get the idea.
Also, definitely let her know about how you feel. You don't have to rush it, but you need to make it clear. You can follow the advices above but keep your feelings bottled in, and then you become "that confident, touchy, comfortable guy who doesn't have feelings for me." That's not what you want, eh?
Good luck, and keep blogging to let us know about how it works out!
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On March 13 2012 01:18 OpticalShot wrote:Fear not, the OpticalShot is here. Yes, the self-claimed unofficial Girl Blog Hunter (GBH) of TL. I give very biased opinions and sometimes they come off as troll. While that is not my direct intent, some days I don't feel like thinking twice about giving girl blog advices so I let my fingers loose on the keyboard and off they go. Not this day. So let's begin with your fine lass. She's got you, man. Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
The thing is, i'm completely obsessed, I wait for her on facebook after school ffs lol, (Well.. just keep facebook on then checking every 3 hours or so but you know what I mean) which is insane, if I didn't have these feelings I would've left just like that.
Definitely not the start you want. Even if you think she's the one forever and ever and you can't go a minute without thinking about how tasty her lips would be and [the nsfw thoughts] so on, you have to keep yourself in check. Making irrational decisions only work on rare occasions (like in K-drama). Follow your common sense. Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
Anyway, so its been two weeks now and she seems to be busy or she doesn't talk to me much anymore because she has meetings as she is performing at a concert not too long from now and also she has lots of studies to do, me as well of course (We would talk on facebook a lot) Because of the teenage hormones I just keep assuming that she has lost feeling for me and that is why she hardly talks to me online anymore.
I understand that you can't help talking to her online. There are so many things you want to share and discuss with her and you can hardly wait for the next day. Some days you are busy, some days she is busy, then there is almost no face-to-face talk time. Put together a string of busy days, and maybe you two can't meet for a week or more. Tragedy, tragedy! Or, is it? When you talk to her online, she is satisfying her "dose of conversation" with you as well. So in that sense, she doesn't feel as inclined to meet you in person. She's already done talking about her favourite band, or her exam worries, or about her new puppy. I'm going to extend this to you as well - when you talk to her about everything online, you don't have the same motivation to see her face-to-face. You've exhausted your news and she's exhausted hers in the previous night's chat, so when you do meet in person, what do you talk about? Hmmm... Anyway, let's move on to the real talk about friendzone and how to get out and whether you're in and so on. We're only halfway through this. My fair evaluation is that yes, you've been so called "friendzoned". I put that in quotations because nowadays people over-generalize the friendzone and basically label everything non-sex-relationship as friendzone. Really, it doesn't mean you don't have any chances with her. I'm not downplaying the fact that first impressions are probably the strongest, but who says you can't change? I'm not talking about changing yourself for her sake alone, I'm talking about a general self-improvement kind of thing. Hey, but you still have a good chance. After all, she agreed on the first date, that means at least you're not a hideous creature to her. Friendzone or not, she agreed to spending her time with you and you alone. For the next date, let me drop a couple advices that you should tailor to your specific situation. - Physical-contact-date: A typical "dinner-and-coffee" date is fine for having a relaxed conversation and all, but it establishes no physical contact. I'm a big fan of dinner-and-coffee kind of thing, but this ain't the thing to get a relationship started. You need some sort of natural physical contact. I recommend activities like bowling and pool. You gotta man the fuck up, get behind her and get her posture right. Be patient if she's a noob (be playful if she's a pro... actually, be playful in general). Don't go too easy on her - keep the game competitive so that she's immersed enough to not resist high-five's or hugs after awesome plays. You can make almost anything in to physical contact if you seriously man the fuck up. Shopping? It helps if the mall is packed with people, but regardless, you could be holding her hand or at least tugging her shoulders close to you so that you don't get lost in the crowd. - Confidence: Why do people say nice guys finish last? Aside from the odd exceptions, it's because "nice" guys can't grow a pair to enjoy the date for themselves. Those "nice" guys try to cater the date so hard for the girl that it becomes annoying and tiresome at the end, despite the intentions. "What do you want to eat?" "Oh I don't care I can eat anything I don't mind so what do you want to eat?" "No, well I didn't quite think of this through..." "Me neither but I'm fine with anything and I know all the different restaurants around this area so whatever you want I know where to go so what do you want to eat?" SEE, THIS IS GOING NOWHERE. The hell, if the girl asks you what you want to eat, you answer what you want to eat. You want fucking fried chicken? Then say "hey, I'm craving some fried chicken." This is a really simple example but this is where the "nice guys" set the first foot in the friendzone. Stop catering for the girl. Have some confidence in your choices and preferences - if the girl doesn't share the same, shrug it and move along. "You don't like fried chicken? Well that's unfortunate, do you have any suggestions? Sushi? Raw fish ain't my type, but let's go to that Japanese restaurant so you can get sushi and I can get some delicious chicken katsu." I'm not saying be a complete jerk and boss her around. I'm saying that you should be confident in yourself, let her know what you like and what you don't like, and work it out after. She'll feel great if she sees you having a great time as well. If you want her to be your princess, you'd better be a prince yourself. That's about it for now. On top of that, there are all the cliche things like be yourself, be honest, don't be a white knight, let her take the lead sometimes, mutual respect, etc., but I don't need to go in detail, right? I think you get the idea. Also, definitely let her know about how you feel. You don't have to rush it, but you need to make it clear. You can follow the advices above but keep your feelings bottled in, and then you become "that confident, touchy, comfortable guy who doesn't have feelings for me." That's not what you want, eh? Good luck, and keep blogging to let us know about how it works out!
Hmm... I think I remember one of your post telling that your a girl blog expert, guess its true :3.Quite amazed how much time and effort you took into this silly thread of mine And I very much appreciate it, it's a great help learning from other members of the community. Got me a few laughs too, good sir.
All your points are incredibly good and I agree with the bold so so so much. Thanks again, I'll be memorizing what you said in this post as well so your efforts are not wasted!
On March 12 2012 20:47 Liveon wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 18:52 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
Who initializes all the conversations?
If it's you, stop and see how long it takes her to do it.
I tried this, about 7 months ago, still haven't heard a thing T.T . Pretty clear who was into who though
Thus my greatest fear, huh ?
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On March 13 2012 04:32 RogerX wrote:Show nested quote +On March 13 2012 01:18 OpticalShot wrote:Fear not, the OpticalShot is here. Yes, the self-claimed unofficial Girl Blog Hunter (GBH) of TL. I give very biased opinions and sometimes they come off as troll. While that is not my direct intent, some days I don't feel like thinking twice about giving girl blog advices so I let my fingers loose on the keyboard and off they go. Not this day. So let's begin with your fine lass. She's got you, man. On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
The thing is, i'm completely obsessed, I wait for her on facebook after school ffs lol, (Well.. just keep facebook on then checking every 3 hours or so but you know what I mean) which is insane, if I didn't have these feelings I would've left just like that.
Definitely not the start you want. Even if you think she's the one forever and ever and you can't go a minute without thinking about how tasty her lips would be and [the nsfw thoughts] so on, you have to keep yourself in check. Making irrational decisions only work on rare occasions (like in K-drama). Follow your common sense. On March 12 2012 18:35 RogerX wrote:
Anyway, so its been two weeks now and she seems to be busy or she doesn't talk to me much anymore because she has meetings as she is performing at a concert not too long from now and also she has lots of studies to do, me as well of course (We would talk on facebook a lot) Because of the teenage hormones I just keep assuming that she has lost feeling for me and that is why she hardly talks to me online anymore.
I understand that you can't help talking to her online. There are so many things you want to share and discuss with her and you can hardly wait for the next day. Some days you are busy, some days she is busy, then there is almost no face-to-face talk time. Put together a string of busy days, and maybe you two can't meet for a week or more. Tragedy, tragedy! Or, is it? When you talk to her online, she is satisfying her "dose of conversation" with you as well. So in that sense, she doesn't feel as inclined to meet you in person. She's already done talking about her favourite band, or her exam worries, or about her new puppy. I'm going to extend this to you as well - when you talk to her about everything online, you don't have the same motivation to see her face-to-face. You've exhausted your news and she's exhausted hers in the previous night's chat, so when you do meet in person, what do you talk about? Hmmm... Anyway, let's move on to the real talk about friendzone and how to get out and whether you're in and so on. We're only halfway through this. My fair evaluation is that yes, you've been so called "friendzoned". I put that in quotations because nowadays people over-generalize the friendzone and basically label everything non-sex-relationship as friendzone. Really, it doesn't mean you don't have any chances with her. I'm not downplaying the fact that first impressions are probably the strongest, but who says you can't change? I'm not talking about changing yourself for her sake alone, I'm talking about a general self-improvement kind of thing. Hey, but you still have a good chance. After all, she agreed on the first date, that means at least you're not a hideous creature to her. Friendzone or not, she agreed to spending her time with you and you alone. For the next date, let me drop a couple advices that you should tailor to your specific situation. - Physical-contact-date: A typical "dinner-and-coffee" date is fine for having a relaxed conversation and all, but it establishes no physical contact. I'm a big fan of dinner-and-coffee kind of thing, but this ain't the thing to get a relationship started. You need some sort of natural physical contact. I recommend activities like bowling and pool. You gotta man the fuck up, get behind her and get her posture right. Be patient if she's a noob (be playful if she's a pro... actually, be playful in general). Don't go too easy on her - keep the game competitive so that she's immersed enough to not resist high-five's or hugs after awesome plays. You can make almost anything in to physical contact if you seriously man the fuck up. Shopping? It helps if the mall is packed with people, but regardless, you could be holding her hand or at least tugging her shoulders close to you so that you don't get lost in the crowd. - Confidence: Why do people say nice guys finish last? Aside from the odd exceptions, it's because "nice" guys can't grow a pair to enjoy the date for themselves. Those "nice" guys try to cater the date so hard for the girl that it becomes annoying and tiresome at the end, despite the intentions. "What do you want to eat?" "Oh I don't care I can eat anything I don't mind so what do you want to eat?" "No, well I didn't quite think of this through..." "Me neither but I'm fine with anything and I know all the different restaurants around this area so whatever you want I know where to go so what do you want to eat?" SEE, THIS IS GOING NOWHERE. The hell, if the girl asks you what you want to eat, you answer what you want to eat. You want fucking fried chicken? Then say "hey, I'm craving some fried chicken." This is a really simple example but this is where the "nice guys" set the first foot in the friendzone. Stop catering for the girl. Have some confidence in your choices and preferences - if the girl doesn't share the same, shrug it and move along. "You don't like fried chicken? Well that's unfortunate, do you have any suggestions? Sushi? Raw fish ain't my type, but let's go to that Japanese restaurant so you can get sushi and I can get some delicious chicken katsu." I'm not saying be a complete jerk and boss her around. I'm saying that you should be confident in yourself, let her know what you like and what you don't like, and work it out after. She'll feel great if she sees you having a great time as well. If you want her to be your princess, you'd better be a prince yourself. That's about it for now. On top of that, there are all the cliche things like be yourself, be honest, don't be a white knight, let her take the lead sometimes, mutual respect, etc., but I don't need to go in detail, right? I think you get the idea. Also, definitely let her know about how you feel. You don't have to rush it, but you need to make it clear. You can follow the advices above but keep your feelings bottled in, and then you become "that confident, touchy, comfortable guy who doesn't have feelings for me." That's not what you want, eh? Good luck, and keep blogging to let us know about how it works out! Hmm... I think I remember one of your post telling that your a girl blog expert, guess its true :3.Quite amazed how much time and effort you took into this silly thread of mine And I very much appreciate it, it's a great help learning from other members of the community. Got me a few laughs too, good sir. All your points are incredibly good and I agree with the bold so so so much. Thanks again, I'll be memorizing what you said in this post as well so your efforts are not wasted! Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 20:47 Liveon wrote:On March 12 2012 18:52 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
Who initializes all the conversations?
If it's you, stop and see how long it takes her to do it.
I tried this, about 7 months ago, still haven't heard a thing T.T . Pretty clear who was into who though Thus my greatest fear, huh ?
it aint a great feeling, but you stop caring after a while. She missed out on the chance to be with an awesome guy :D
keep your chin up brah
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Yo seriously fuck the rest of the advice..
Just say this next time you see her.
"Hey, I like you, wanna go out this friday?"
Just have it be something simple, like a movie and dinner or whatever is appropriate for your age range. She'll either smile and be like "took you long enough" or "i dont like you like that". No wall of text needed.
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EPT
