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going to try to keep this short
my parents immigrated from vietnam to america in 1996, when i was 2 years old. their whole life they always had big dreams for me. my mom came from a poor family, and my dad's family was also poor but he was a genius student and was able to come to america because of his brains
we lived in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment in new york city for a few years until i started going to 1st grade, when they moved into a tiny 1 bedroom apartment in new jersey. my parents always tried to make me happy while at the same time trying to give me a sense of discipline and work ethic. in 4th grade i was the smartest kid in my class but i had no friends. i was lonely so my parents gave me the gift of a baby brother when i was 9 years old
that is, until i met this cambodian kid who was also in 4th grade but in a class down the hall. we instantly became friends. he was basically the one who told me to follow my dreams, and he was the one who listened to my voice and what i had to say when no one else in school cared. we did everything together, from sleepovers to watching dragonballz to playing ping pong on his dining room table with some cups or bowls as the net
in high school i was very confused. partly because (as i lated realized) i'm gay. and partly because i couldn't connect. with anyone. not with teachers, not with kids. i tried to work hard, as hard as i could, but i never worked smart. i never took 5 or 10 or 15 minutes of my day to think about my life, about what i was really doing, where i was really going
now i realize, as a senior in high school, now i realize that throughout all of my high school years, i was basically still a stupid misguided 8th grade kid. all of my years in high school were spent being immature and thoughtless, doing what people expected me to do, not realizing that without good grades i will get nowhere
i love my parents, i really do, but i never got the feeling that they really loved me, yes they told me to get good grades just like any asian kid, but where was the personal touch? where was the love that other parents gave their kids? we never went to disneyland or anywhere special, except for the jersey shore and niagara falls
but i realize now how much i frustrated my parents. education isn't about learning stuff for an exam, or learning how to write a paper, it's about learning how to think, and part of process of thinking comes from maturity. as a high school i was just not mature enough to handle it. i let everything else get in the way of my grades, even though when my parents came to new york from vietnam and saw snow for the first time in their lives on a cold winter day in 1996, when they basically had no life and did everything to make me happy and support me in a 1 bedroom apartment, i failed them
their only ONLY dream for me was to get good grades in high school, so i could go to a good univeristy, so i could eventually get a good job. that was the only dream they ever had for me. my mom stayed at home for 17 years and never worked and never did anything for herself, just so she could see me live this dream. my dad worked all these years in an unknown country and learned how to speak english and how to pay taxes and how to be an american, just for me to live this dream and get more opportunities than kids get back in vietnam
all this time i thought i was being "cool", being a rebel, not listening to my parents, trying to break every stereotype out there about asians, but i left myself alone in the cold. despite my best efforts to not be that stereotypcial asian kid, i'm still shy, a virgin, and i basically have no friends (or everyone i thought was my friend has alienated me). left myself alone on the cold winter streets of new york city in 1996, surrounded by nothing but snow. i failed myself, and i failed them, and i set a bad example for my brother who is now in 3rd grade
every ivy league turned me down, even though it was my parents dream for me to go to one. they sacrificed their life, their time and energy and blood and sweat JUST FOR ME. and i blew it
that's why from fall of 2012 i'll be going to rutgers
(no offense to anyone who's a scarlet knight)
User was temp banned for this post.
 
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I go to Rutgers, and so do many other TL'ers, It has quite an active SC2 scene from what I hear (not too familiar with that, to be honest).
Don't think of failing your parents just because ivy league schools turned you down. No, you're not even close. You aren't even in college yet. There is so much to explore throughout these four years. This is the problem with Asians and their delusional thoughts regarding Ivy schools. Don't get me wrong, Ivy Leagues are indeed prestigious, but ask yourself WHY you want to go there. And then you work towards that by getting good grades and then transferring over after the end of your second year.
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Poor Rutgers kids can't afford any more than 13 capital letters 
(I don't know anything about Rutgers...)
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You can always just buckle up and get serious in your first two years of college and transfer your 3rd year. My math could be off but I think you're maybe 17 years old? You're very far from being unable to make drastic changes in your life. If you really feel like you want to make your parents proud then get serious and start making changes/start being a better student, it's far from being too late.
EDIT:
On February 26 2012 13:37 canucks12 wrote:Poor Rutgers kids can't afford any more than 13 capital letters (I don't know anything about Rutgers...)
that shift key is expensive and quite fragile, you gotta be careful and only use it during "VERY IMPORTANT" parts.
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Rutgers is not a bad school by any means.
Don't be so hard on yourself man. Trust me, I have seen kids with wealthy parents who had everything handed to them slowly succumb to the temptations of drugs and completely ruined their lives. I have seen kids who just stopped "learning" in school and putting any effort, drop out, and now they work fulltime at the local fast food joint, where their only likely path is to become store manager one day.
Going to Rutgers is a good step forward. The Ivy League schools are overrated anyway. They are nice, but never base your life's success on the decision of some college acceptance board.
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I think the important thing is not just the school's name itself, but also the program you are pursuing.
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Don't kill yourself over your sudden mass of realiztions dude. Good luck on your school >:D
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Don't worry man.
Doing (semi) badly in high school and doing well in university is much much better than doing well in high school and fucking up in university. Unfortunately, I did exactly the latter and I am regretting it.
Just make sure you get your act together in university and you will be fine.
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You can always transfer to a med school somewhere else.
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If you want sympathy and are bragging because you're going to Rutgers, you need to sort your priorities out lmfao.
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Why do we see this so much in the Asian culture.. its always " I FAILED MY PARENTS" or "DISHONORED MY FAMILY" i dont understand your growing up in a different time a TOTALLY different place then Vietnam and your becoming your own person.. dont you think that is just how life is? that you are you and cant live up to every expectation that is given to you? The fact is your parents love you no matter what.. till you have kids I dont think people understand the undying love parents have.. even if they throw you out .. there is still a love in the heart.
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Ivy Leagues are not the be-all and end-all. I wouldn't worry too much.
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On February 26 2012 13:56 k1mjee wrote:
If you want sympathy and are bragging because you're going to Rutgers, you need to sort your priorities out lmfao.
I don't even think he's bragging lol...what?
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On February 26 2012 13:57 SeizeTheDay wrote:
Why do we see this so much in the Asian culture.. its always " I FAILED MY PARENTS" or "DISHONORED MY FAMILY" i dont understand your growing up in a different time a TOTALLY different place then Vietnam and your becoming your own person.. dont you think that is just how life is? that you are you and cant live up to every expectation that is given to you? The fact is your parents love you no matter what.. till you have kids I dont think people understand the undying love parents have.. even if they throw you out .. there is still a love in the heart.
I'm pretty sure he's trolling  Disguised brag blog?
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Did you put that you were homosexual in the applications? I'm sure the colleges look at you more if your not the same as everyone else.
Don't worry bro, it's good that you've realized it now and you can make it up to your parents now.
And having no friend thing, just try to be open minded and find out what you like so you can find people who are in the similar interests with you
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
The United States is a country where we're given second, third, etc chances, even after small failures, in order to climb back and fight for what you want in life. You can't say the same in many Asian countries, where you "fall off the train" once, and you're essentially never going to get back on the proverbial railroad to success. If you're now convinced of the things you want, the next four years will allow you to seize it with your two hands.
But at the same time, the country is unforgiving to those without the drive and commitment to succeed. If you waste the next four years, then you should expect to be ever further setback from where you want to be 20 years from now.
Godspeed.
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On February 26 2012 13:57 SeizeTheDay wrote:
Why do we see this so much in the Asian culture.. its always " I FAILED MY PARENTS" or "DISHONORED MY FAMILY" i dont understand your growing up in a different time a TOTALLY different place then Vietnam and your becoming your own person.. dont you think that is just how life is? that you are you and cant live up to every expectation that is given to you? The fact is your parents love you no matter what.. till you have kids I dont think people understand the undying love parents have.. even if they throw you out .. there is still a love in the heart.
I've had little educational pressure from my family throughout life compared to your stereotypical Asian, yet I often feel like I've failed them because I haven't done what they wanted (even though they often remind me to do what makes me happy in life.) It doesn't matter who you are or what standards are set, you're always living up to your parents.
Which is good, as long as you don't have sociopath parents! Gives you something to work towards and above, right?
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Don't worry about what you did in the past, just make the future count.
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Blogs like these make me shake my head. You focus on the things you don't have, but not many people have the same opportunity as you. Stop feeling guilty over stupid shit and live your own life, and if your parents really possess unconditional love for their son then they will support whatever you do in life. How they raised you was their choice. You shouldn't feel like you owe anything to them, but if you do become successful later in life, treat them to a nice dinner 
You're 18. Do stupid things.
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Luckily for you screwing up in high school isn't nearly as bad as screwing up in college. Get good grades at Rutgers, then transfer to the school of your dreams or get into them for grad school. I personally know a few fellas who only went to their local state college but then got their act together and eventually graduated from top 10 universities. Be glad you had this realization now, instead of 5 years from now when it'll almost be too late.
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EPT
