EPTDoesn't leave much of any time for your wife. If you are feeling like the past 8 years of your life have been terrible with her, I'd take the advice someone else gave of seeing a marriage counselor, because I do not think divorce is good for the kids. Especially if there are court hearings and such.
Married and SC2 - Page 4
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lSasquatchl
United States309 Posts
Doesn't leave much of any time for your wife. If you are feeling like the past 8 years of your life have been terrible with her, I'd take the advice someone else gave of seeing a marriage counselor, because I do not think divorce is good for the kids. Especially if there are court hearings and such. | ||
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green.at
Austria1459 Posts
On December 07 2011 02:39 The_Piper42 wrote: Go see a marriage counselor. Don't ask for advice from faceless randoms online. Good luck with everything. this is the only comment that is needed in here. | ||
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Leafs
Canada41 Posts
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Sporadic44
United States533 Posts
But to adress your concerns about the children. Try and make it work, through counseling etc. However, if you and your wife have grown apart, and negatively impact your childrens lives through fighting, negative energy toward eachother, and collatoral attitudes toward them, its best to get a divorce. My parents divorced when I was 6. Ya it bothered me, but its much better than growing up around verbal and physical violence. | ||
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HulkHogan
Canada14 Posts
One of the key indicators of a failing relationship is intimacy. You are neglecting your wife whether you want to believe it or not. You gaming probably started out as one or two nights, then turned into a nightly habit. "Just a couple games" you would probably say to yourself, meanwhile 3-4 hours have passed. Think about how that makes your wife feel. When the kids finally go to be and she gets to spend some quality time with you, the first thing you do is run to the PC to play hours and hours of Starcraft. Next thing you know its midnight, you crawl into bed mentally exhausted from playing games all night and tell your wife you love her because you think that will make everything ok. There is no magical solution to this problem other than manning up to your duties and a father and husband. Video games are a leisure activity and not an entitlement, its time you started realizing this. | ||
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Catatonic
United States699 Posts
On December 07 2011 02:44 YuTz wrote: Stop playing Starcraft 2... marriage is much more important then any game. Also, you have three kids so you really could put better use of that time with them. When she sees your commitment... she would most likely let you play from time to time... either way there is plenty of streams to watch whenever that can allow you to still be involved in the community in some way... or attend some MLG's if they are nearby. I don't mean to sound harsh but divorce over a video game just doesn't make sense... ESP when you have three kids. I am married myself and I have boundaries with this game but if my wife pushed things to that level them I would have to stop playing. We have had minor arguments about it but nothing too serious simply because I maintain the boundaries we set previous. Did you read the op? he said he plays after the kids are already in bed an only 4 nights a week which is barely over half the week technically meaning the other "half" of the week he isnt playing at all. Its likely more then just because of a "video game" as you're saying judging by how the op sounds an describes how his wife sounds. Rather then quit like you say maybe just cut it down alittle more maybe from like 8:30-10 maybe 3 nights a week an use the extra night on your wife cause she may just want that time alone. Also a marriage councelor would probably help since as has been stated earlier most people on this site have little to no experience with marriage unlike what a marriage councelor would have. | ||
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HackBenjamin
Canada1094 Posts
On December 07 2011 03:14 HulkHogan wrote: Why on earth would you go to a forum and seek advice from a demographic that has zero understanding of what you are going through? Why on earth would you assume that nobody here would understand what the OP is going through? TL is huge, and diverse. People of all ages, shapes, and sizes use this website. | ||
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Shizanu
Germany44 Posts
Try to talk with her without fighting and tell her about it beforehand. Something "I think there is clearly some problem in our relationship and I think we should talk about it." like. Ask her when she has time and calm form it - dont jump on her with it. Thats basically whats marriage counceling would help with, if you cant do that on your own. Otherwise clean divorce > staying in a unhappy marriage for kids, as others already said. | ||
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jared6464
3 Posts
I doubt your issues are specifically with starcraft. Guessing your wife feels neglected and that you do not value her (rather play video games then spend time with her even after she has asked you). You likely need to take a break from Starcraft to get this resolved. If you start using your starcraft time to do things with/for her that show her you vaule the marriage things will imporve (sitting watching TV together doesn't count). Schedule a baby sitter, go on a date, buy her flowers etc... Once she feels valued by you slipping some starcraft in from time to time shouldn't be a problem. | ||
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lSasquatchl
United States309 Posts
On December 07 2011 02:49 Roxy wrote: this does not make sense to me if you dont like eachother, i would have expected that she would be pleased you are playing games and staying away from her. I understand staying together for the kids, but perhaps you can work things out. Im afraid I am underqualified for any suggestions, but I wish you luck - whatever path you go down i do not understand women + Show Spoiler + to draw on my own experience, just last night. I come home and my gf is in bed watching sex and the city. She wanted me to sit down and watch it with her. I sat with her for the rest of the episode. I then stared another episode and then pretended to go to the bathroom but actually just went to play starcraft... boy did I catch hell.. honestly.. wtf do i have to watch sex and the city for tho? i dont make her watch mlg... XD Laughing still about this... I haven't "sneaked" off acting like I was going the the bathroom to play. But I have been in the situation where its almost like I am expect to watch some show with her I don't care about. I do, but she nevers watches MLG with me  XD still laughing at your post. | ||
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Geosensation
United States256 Posts
On December 07 2011 03:22 TheSasquatch wrote: XD Laughing still about this... I haven't "sneaked" off acting like I was going the the bathroom to play. But I have been in the situation where its almost like I am expect to watch some show with her I don't care about. I do, but she nevers watches MLG with me XD still laughing at your post.Totally impressed that you were grammatically correct on that, bravo. The OP makes me sad  definitely stop playing SC2 so much and see a counselor. | ||
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HackBenjamin
Canada1094 Posts
On December 07 2011 03:22 TheSasquatch wrote: XD Laughing still about this... I haven't "sneaked" off acting like I was going the the bathroom to play. But I have been in the situation where its almost like I am expect to watch some show with her I don't care about. I do, but she nevers watches MLG with me XD still laughing at your post.I used to sneak off to the bathroom just so I could have some quiet reading time. Sometimes I'd be completely oblivious to the fact that I had been in there so long, that my ex would knock on the door and ask if I was ok because I'd been in the can for 45 minutes. It was a good part in the book =/ | ||
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Zorkmid
4410 Posts
On December 07 2011 03:30 HackBenjamin wrote: I used to sneak off to the bathroom just so I could have some quiet reading time. Sometimes I'd be completely oblivious to the fact that I had been in there so long, that my ex would knock on the door and ask if I was ok because I'd been in the can for 45 minutes. It was a good part in the book =/ You posters who've got stories like this deserve to have your man cards revoked.... | ||
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castled
United States322 Posts
 ). However, I feel bad about it sometimes because I feel like she gets bored easily if there's nothing to do and I'm not doing something with her. She watches TV shows, browses facebook, and has started to get into baking, but it surprises me how she really doesn't enjoy just having time to kill by herself. I feel like I could spend an eternity entertaining myself with my various hobbies.Anyone have a clue why it seems lots of women (not all ofc) aren't as happy entertaining themselves as guys are? I feel like this is the crux of the OP's problem, that his wife doesn't understand how his hobby can be fulfilling. | ||
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HulkHogan
Canada14 Posts
On December 07 2011 03:34 castled wrote: Could someone explain to me why women are less likely to have hobbies / have the ability to amuse themselves? I live with my girlfriend and she's very understanding about my game-playing time (occasionally even appreciates watching me ladder ). However, I feel bad about it sometimes because I feel like she gets bored easily if there's nothing to do and I'm not doing something with her. She watches TV shows, browses facebook, and has started to get into baking, but it surprises me how she really doesn't enjoy just having time to kill by herself. I feel like I could spend an eternity entertaining myself with my various hobbies.Anyone have a clue why it seems lots of women (not all ofc) aren't as happy entertaining themselves as guys are? I feel like this is the crux of the OP's problem, that his wife doesn't understand how his hobby can be fulfilling. I live with my Fiancee myself, and she will watch me play SC on rare occasions. She makes fun of the sound effects more often than not "not enough minerals" and the Marauder's "kaboom baby" are her favs to make fun of me. Anyways back on topic, females are nurturing and compassionate by nature; This is how our species has survived this long. They crave emotional attachment to things they do, whereas we tend to lean towards logic and competitive hobbies. Again, this is a broad generalization, but you can see how browsing on facebook and watching TV may not satiate a female's innate needs to have an emotional connection. All in all, there are pros and cons to everything. Sometimes its frustrating when you feel a woman is being too "needy", but god bless em they are the first ones to care for you when you get sick or when you really need to connect. Try having a serious emotional discussion with your "bros", its not that easy. | ||
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Badjas
Netherlands2038 Posts
(advice from a 29 yo, married with three kids) | ||
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Mothra
United States1448 Posts
On December 07 2011 02:36 Rigorous wrote: My wife drives me crazy...the 8 years feel like forever. I would happily divorce her, but the kids... Sounds like more issues than just SC2. | ||
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Snuggles
United States1865 Posts
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HackBenjamin
Canada1094 Posts
On December 07 2011 03:33 Zorkmid wrote: You posters who've got stories like this deserve to have your man cards revoked.... Psh, why? Sometimes you just need some quiet time. | ||
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BabyToss!
Czech Republic588 Posts
Wishing you good luck. | ||
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